Octomom Nadya Suleman Could Lose Her House…And So Could Her Children
By now I’m positive you’ve heard about Nadya Suleman, aka “The Octomom”, and her passel of fourteen children, eight of which have just been born and are still in the hospital.
The news reports about her have been flying fast and furious, ranging from telling us she had children because she grew up as a lonely only in a dysfunctional family (so did I, but I only have two), to her own mother ragging on her in the press because she is a single mom of all in vitro babies, to the fact that Nadya does receive welfare in the form of food stamps and disability payments for three of her children (who appear to be special needs kids of varying degrees) despite saying she didn’t, to the news that she’s lost her PR team, to speculation that she’s had plastic surgery to look more like fellow baby-hoarder Angelina Jolie, to rumors that she’s actually contacted Santa Angelina (who is creeped out by the whole thing…and if she’s creeped out you know it’s creepy)…well, you get the idea. It’s making me nuts trying to keep up with it, which is probably why I haven’t reported on it myself before now (although Dawn has done a couple of passionate write-ups about it).
But the latest news on this family has me thinking. Nadya, her parents, and all of the children soon may have no home to live in, because the one they have is currently being foreclosed on:
Nadya Suleman may be out on the streets with her 14 kids. TMZ has documents showing the house she’s living in could go on the auction block because the mortgage hasn’t been paid in 10 months.
According to documents filed earlier this month, OctoGrandma (who owns the house) hasn’t made any payments on her home since May, 2008 — she’s behind $23,224.98.
The mortgage company filed a “Notice of Default and Election to Sell Under Deed of Trust” on Feb 5. Translation: “Pay us now or we’re selling your home and kicking you, your daughter and her 14 kids out on the street.”
The house is owned by Angela Suleman, Nadya’s mother, and she hasn’t been able to make any payments since May 2008:
The house in which octuplet mom Nadya Suleman is already raising her other six children and will eventually bring her eight new children is in mortgage default, with the bank reporting that the family is $23,224 behind on payments, according to documents released Wednesday.
According to a “Notice of Default and Election to Sell Under Deed of Trust” obtained by TMZ.com, the Whittier home owned by Suleman’s mother, Angela, could go on the auction block by the end of the year.
According to the documents, Angela Suleman has made no payments on the house since last May.
Angela bought the home in March 2006 for $605,000, the New York Daily News reported. Her mortgage is $435,750.
Which makes me wonder…how does Nadya realistically expect to clothe, feed, and medically take care of fourteen children, three of whom already have special needs? Do the math…she gave birth at the end of January and the payments haven’t been made since May. That’s around nine months, which means the mortgage hasn’t been paid since before she received IVF (since the babies were preemies), and grandma has already said Nadya does not contribute to the financial needs of the home. The octuplets are as of yet to be diagnosed with any sort of mental and/or physical disabilities, as they are probably too young to have any sort of accurate diagnosis made, but even if they are 100% healthy they will still need to have stuff like diapers and food:
Suleman, who is unmarried, unemployed and has no source of income, insisted in an interview with NBC that she would easily be able to afford the child care once she finished school, although she reportedly owes $50,000 in school loans.
The Los Angeles Times reported that even before she gave birth to the octuplets, Suleman was receiving $490 in monthly food stamps, and three of her children were receiving federal supplemental security income because they are disabled.
The octuplets’ grandmother said she devotes her monthly retirement check to helping support the kids.
“[The retirement check] goes every month,” she told the “Early Show” on Feb. 16. “It’s just gone. “
And Nadya’s supposed degree she’s supposedly going back to school for definitely isn’t going to stretch as far as she thinks it will:
Nadya Suleman has said she plans to return to college as soon as she can and eventually work in counseling. She also has indicated that she may rely on student loans to help support her children while they’re small.
These plans raised red flags for [Jean] Chatzky.
“The idea that she says, ‘I’m getting a degree, I’m going to go back to work, I’ll do it,’ ” Chatzky said. “The degree that she’s getting is going to provide her at most $60,000 a year. She can’t afford to pay for child care alone with her salary.”
Okay, I’m about to say something controversial. You knew it was coming, so don’t look all surprised and stuff.
I’ve really thought about this thing since the whole foreclosure news came out, and I’ve come to this conclusion: As I see it, to help the children, there are two choices; you take them away, or you help the mother.
Now, before you get out the stones, let me explain: By that statement, I do not mean that we should be blindly handing over money, houses, cars, goods, and television contracts to a woman who is clearly mentally incapable of grasping that there is no way you can take care of what is essentially a small daycare center on a child psychology paycheck and still pay back $50,000 in student loans and still have enough to pay medical bills and buy food, let alone buy things like clothing and furniture and laundry soap and Christmas presents. I mean, this is a woman who, despite the fact that her mother’s home is in foreclosure, is dropping fifteen bucks on a MAC lipgloss (I got news for you, Nadya…e.l.f. makes a great gloss and they only cost a dollar). I guess one must look good for one’s public, to brave death threats and come out of hiding for cosmetics. But she clearly doesn’t have any concept of…well, anything, and handing her blank checks could be disastrous. She clearly lives in Nadyaland, seems to be narcissistic, comes across as manipulative, and she obviously has a limited ability to think things through (makes me think she’s ADD as well).
It’s been speculated that she is mentally ill or, at the very least, psychologically imbalanced. I’d throw my two cents in and say that she seems to be hoarding children in much the same way Angelina Jolie seems to, using them to create an alternate world replacing her dysfunctional upbringing.
Let’s face it…it’s a bit of a good mom-feeling to have a little helpless baby look up at you with unconditional love and think you are the best thing ever. But when that wears off and mom isn’t the center of the universe any more, all too often some women crave that feeling. So, they have another kid. And another. And another.
However, all that aside, what matters now is that the children are here. There are six children already at home, three of whom already have varying degrees of disabilities. We don’t know as of yet what special care the octuplets will require. All the children need food, clothing, medicine, a home to live in, and somewhere to sleep. Yes, the state could step in and just take them away, but they’d have to have really, really good reasons and evidence. However, that may or may not happen, and in the meantime you’ve got innocent kids in the crossfire who may not have any sort of chance at a normal life if things continue as they are. And, as long as they live at home, how does one help the children if one does not also help the mother?
Now, I hear you saying that she has made horrible decisions, continued breeding like a brood mare, conceived all her kids using IVF, and she doesn’t even have a job! Then she decided to have all her remaining eggs implanted and she got eight more! How irresponsible is that! She’s self-centered and probably tried to use those octuplets as her money ticket! And yes…I’d have to agree. The doctor involved with her IVF treatment acted irresponsibly, and Nadya herself undoubtedly should never have had so many eggs fertilized to start with…I’d go so far as to say she never should have had kids to start with. This woman needs psychological help, not her own miniature kingdom, and she definitely does not need her own reality show.
So do the kids need to be taken away permanently? I don’t know. I don’t wish that on any parent who is truly trying to take care of their kids, and I definitely do not say that lightly or glibly, but it is clear that something needs to be done and fast. Love is simply not enough. For example, there are some (not all) physically challenged parents who love their children deeply but who definitely need assistance in raising them for the sake of the children. The choices are hard ones. Fortunately, we live in a country where the government can’t just march in and take your kids away simply because they think you have too many, and I think that for the most part government should stay out of many things, but it is clear in this case that there needs to be somebody step in and help.
Instead of throwing stones at the mother and screaming that she’s unfit and disgusting and making death threats (death threats? Seriously, people? All that is going to get you is a visit by the police, so stop it…that’s just stupid), maybe people should be looking at what can now be done to make the children’s lives better. After all, it is the children who are the innocent victims here, not Nadya. Punishing the mom for being a selfish person isn’t going to help those kids any. Yes, the state of California’s taxpayers are probably going to have to foot the bill for all this, but I think maybe they’d be more receptive to it if Nadya’s head wasn’t so far inside her sphincter.
While I believe the children should not be punished because of their mom’s actions, I don’t know the answer. Perhaps someone could step in, temporarily have the kids live in foster homes or in a central location monitored by professionals away from Ground Zero, get Nadya the mental help she so obviously needs (whatever that may take and however long that might take), set up financial counseling and teach the adults how to properly manage their finances, set up family counseling, get some visiting nurse and child care assistance, set up an outside trustee to handle any donations given to the children, and if things work out then GRADUALLY bring the family back together. Because, right now, this isn’t a family…it’s just a mess.
In short (too late, I know), unless there is a magic wand somewhere, there are probably only two ways of helping these children: Take them away or help their mother by helping her gain the emotional stability she needs to be a true mother. Whichever decision is made, I have a sad feeling this story may not have a happy ending.
[just my opinions, folks, not everyone's]
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Take her kids away! She is clearly unfit an with her home soon to be foreclosed, the kids have nowhere to live. She was problably banking on the fact people give money to people with -plet births. She is self absorbed and any kid in that house will suffer long term emotional issues due to this. the answer is simple, take the kids away and If, IF, this crazy uterus on legs gets her act together, then maybe, MAYBE she could get her kids back.
Comment by anon — February 19, 2009 @ 1:36 pm
stupid way to get attention
Comment by luxorlasvegasnv — February 19, 2009 @ 2:15 pm
There are many troubling aspects of this story… and I agree that if there isn’t some kind of intervention to either help this mother, or somehow otherwise help her kids, it will end in some kind of tragedy.
I can’t help, though, but be disturbed by the fact that this woman is being labeled as unfit, and there is consideration, if only by us onlookers, of taking these children away from her.
I know that as a society, we have to pay some attention to this story because it is in our faces everyday, and because we know about it, we feel some responsibility to do something about it… we are that way, we Americans… but I am disturbed – annoyed even – by all the fodder about how messed up Nadya is, and how her kids are going to suffer as result of it.
From my limited perspective, I see Nadya as an undoubtedly troubled woman, who has little ability to see beyond her own needs to the long term consequences of her behavior… and unfortunately in Nadya’s case, her issues will directly affect the lives of her 14 innocent children (and countless other people, without a doubt.)
BUT…
What about the scads of truly heinous parents out there – the ones who abuse or neglect their children behind closed doors who aren’t in the public eye, even though they have 4 or 7 or 11 kids in their charge, or the many dreadfully poor parents who simply can’t afford to meet the physical needs of their children, whether it be 1 or 14 children?
I get it… There is so much emphasis on this woman because of the sheer number of children she has and how she got them, which leads to questions about her decision making ability and her true motives in having this brood. I get that something has to be done to mitigate the damages in this relatively bleak situation. But why are we crucifying a mother who at least appears to love and want her children, however misguided and irresponsible she is for having them in the first place? But as I say that, there are plenty of families, immediate or extended, that size or larger, who live off public assistance, who have no intention or desire to get off of it. At least Nadya professes to want to go to college to become gainfully employed. I know that may not be a reasonable goal, and that her salary won’t even begin to touch her expenses, but again, but at least she seems to have the intention to at least TRY. And although she will undoubtedly need assistance in varying forms to raise these children, at least she loves them. I know love doesn’t put food on the table or clothes on their backs, but it separates her from the people we should truly be focusing on.
I worked in the mental health field with children and families for years, and I have seen the range of parents and parenting skills ~ from unacceptable, to downright make-you-want-to-go-home-and-kick-the-dog awful. And however unpopular this opinion makes me, Nadya is, by comparison, not all that bad.
She needs help. The kids need help. But if we think it ok to take children away from a mother who loves them because she doesn’t make good decisions… srsly folks, that ain’t the tip of the parenting nightmare iceberg.
Comment by glp — February 19, 2009 @ 3:36 pm
Ok, I have to qualify ~ I am not criticizing the use of public assistance for those down and out, who need a little boost until they get on their feet… or assistance for those who are disabled in some way. My comments about public assistance relate to those people who make a living off of public assistance and have the ability to work for a living, economic crisis aside, of course.
Comment by glp — February 19, 2009 @ 3:41 pm
She is truly ill and selfish. There are TONS of people in this country that can not have children and would love to adopt a baby.Ugh, don’t get me going. I pretty much agree with all your points
Comment by MakeMoneyTakingSurveys — February 19, 2009 @ 3:42 pm
Take away the kids – i’m sure there are plenty of couples who can foster or adopt them.
Comment by TEKWAKIA — February 19, 2009 @ 3:48 pm
I just have to say. I don’t agree with the way Nadya got pregnant with her 8 babies, but its happened, to late for that…
But for example, the Show John and Kate plus 8, you can’t tell me that they do not get assistance and paid for the show to make the show. Because honestly how could they keep affording to buy bigger houses, go on all the family trips all over the world that they do etc…..Afford all the food and matching clothing etc for all there kids etc…
my husband and I both work full time and only have 2 kids and its hard to make ends meet…
So maybe if they didn’t put these reality shows on T.V. showing this lavish life you can life with 8 kids, people wouldn’t get these dumb ideas in the first place…
I blame the T.V shows for showing all this and in turn showing how easy it is to have 8 kids, and go from a small tiny house and move to a bigger house and even a much bigger house and still have everything anyone could possibly want, including vacationing the world etc….And only John works (if he even still works), man if I was young enough I would do it to…..
Comment by cindy — February 19, 2009 @ 4:48 pm
The only chance in this world those poor children of hers will have a decent life is if they are taken away and raised by people who know how to teach babies to be adults, feed and protect them and love them. As you said, that woman is probably a narcissist and is completely incapable of empathy or real love. Those children need a chance to grow up loved and cared for properly which will never happen if she is in control of their lives.
If Britney Spears can lose her children because of her behavior–which didn’t come close to the irresponsibility of Nadya–there should be NO problem getting those babies away from a dangerous situation.
Comment by HardHeadedWoman — February 19, 2009 @ 5:26 pm
she is now looking at a house that cost over a million according to tmz, so i am sure the bitch won’t be homeless.
Comment by sally — February 19, 2009 @ 6:22 pm
But she’ll be stupid forever. And crazy.
Comment by D — February 19, 2009 @ 8:24 pm
glp…Absolutely, I agree with you. That’s why I clarified that there were two options. I would absolutely hate to see anyone who is truly trying to care for their children have their kids taken from them just because they’re “different”. I just feel like there’s more to this, something very wrong. When I look at the situation (all fourteen being conceived with IVF, no job, no income, asking to be implanted with all eight embryos when she has no visible means of support, even her own mom thinks she isn’t competent to raise all these kids, the crazy things said in interviews), I have to wonder if this woman truly does have the capacity to understand just what is going on here.
I’m just wondering if maybe the kids were removed to a central, neutral location, and all get help both separately and together, if perhaps there might be a chance at some point of the whole family functioning at least better than they are now. I’m not trying to crucify her, I am just looking at options that maybe could help these children.
There are people who love their children dearly, but for whatever reason they cannot take care of them (illness, crippling poverty, emotional/physical issues, etc) as they should be taken care of. The children are suffering not because of lack of love, but because of lack of proper care (not purposeful abuse). Someone intervenes and helps the family, and the family can function properly again and the suffering stops. I guess that’s what I think this family needs…an intervention. Someone to step in and say, “Hey, nobody here is acting right, everything is wrong, we need to sort this out and get everyone functioning properly again.” Isn’t that the point of this particular system, to reunite families and make them whole, properly functioning units again? I mean, just because it isn’t horrific and disgusting and obvious child abuse, doesn’t make it any less potentially an abusive situation, just in a different way.
And I fully admit I’m looking at this from the outside, but it’s just what I’m picking up from what I’ve read and watched and observed for the past few weeks. There’s just something not right here. I can’t put my finger on it, but something is just not right.
Comment by k — February 19, 2009 @ 8:34 pm
OCTA-B I M B O
Comment by jera — February 20, 2009 @ 4:12 am
K~
I hear ya. And I don’t disagree with you. I also think there is something very not-right about this situation and probably this woman. And I agree that without some intervention, this is going to end badly, mostly for the children. I guess my main point is that this woman would not have even come to our attention had she not birthed the octuplets. She would have been left to, however dysfunctionally, raise her 6 children without notice. I think that you might agree that whatever pathology that led Nadya to conceive and birth the octuplets were most likely present prior to the conceptions and births of her other 6 children, also conceived under the same or similar circumstances as the octuplets. She was no better a woman or mother prior to the octuplet birth, but as a society, we paid no attention to her at that point. She was allowed to do her thing, however well or poorly she did it.
Now, I am not suggesting that she didn’t warrant attention at that point, I am only saying that she didn’t get it because her situation wasn’t ridiculous enough to elicit media attention… much like the many, many dysfunctional or neglectful, or abusive families out there. I know that we need to do something with this woman and her children to try to give them a snowball’s chance at a decent life. I am just troubled that so much attention is being placed on this woman when there are so, so many far worse parents out there that we don’t bother with because their situations aren’t media-worthy.
But such is the way of the world, I suppose. You don’t get noticed unless you do something really great, or really stupid. And I suppose that there are few of us that are going to do something truly great, so what does that leave us? Nadya Suleman.
Comment by glp — February 20, 2009 @ 9:46 am
Right, I agree with you. I think she’s slipped under the radar for so long and undoubtedly the world at large would never have known her had she not given birth to octuplets. I think there are a lot of people right now under the radar who desperately need help, but who just are not on anyone’s screens at the moment, for whatever reason.
This whole story is just sad. But try as I might, I can’t manage to work up the blood-boiling vitriol towards her that some have. I think what she did was wrong, but I also think that calling her names and such isn’t going to help. She needs intensive help, the whole family needs an intervention. And as much as people hate this woman, it is the kids who are truly suffering because of her actions.
It’s alway good to talk to you, I don’t get much of a chance since I’m not the CoS expert. I leave that to the pro.
Comment by k — February 20, 2009 @ 10:04 am
Likewise.
Comment by glp — February 20, 2009 @ 10:25 am
This is just a little shout out to you, K & D… I love this site… you two crack me up at times, and get me thinking at others, somethimes both! And that is no easy task! You do a terrific job of finding blog-worthy information and I always enjoy reading your witty or informative posts. There are few sites I check regularly, and this is the only blog I read or participate in, not that I am ‘anybody’ but I just wanted to know that this site is really cool and there are many of us out here that feel that way!
Bravo!
Comment by glp — February 20, 2009 @ 10:31 am
Uh oh, I think my last post might have gone into the Glosslip black hole…
Comment by glp — February 20, 2009 @ 10:32 am
Found it.
We’re working on some sort of system to prevent this from happening. For whatever reason, many of the comments that are perfectly fine are going in the spam folder. If you see it happen, just leave a note or email one of us, and we’ll fix it. I try to keep up with it but sometimes it’s just too fast!
Comment by k — February 20, 2009 @ 10:50 am
And I’m glad I found this comment and rescued it, thanks!!!
Comment by k — February 20, 2009 @ 10:50 am
The biggest problem of all, though, is that she could easily attempt this again and get another bundle of joy sometime. I like your idea about foster homes until she gets her shiz together, but realistically I think she either needs to marry a millionaire or get her kids taken away, for their own sake.
Or like, she could join an Amish farm…
Comment by Brooke — February 20, 2009 @ 11:55 pm
Also, do we even know if she’s a good mom?? A friend said she saw an interview on TV with the kids and they were miserable, dirty, and there was like food on the walls. If you really loved your kids, you wouldn’t neglect them. My friend said in the interview they asked the children if they were happy about getting new brothers and sisters. “No, because Mommy’s going to be more stressed.” Uh… yeah, not quite the Brady Brunch.
Comment by Brooke — February 21, 2009 @ 12:00 am
I think it would be a different story If she were the average single mom. Normally there would be a father protesting and taking the woman to court for custody. That’s what happened with Britney Spears. But in this instance it is the public making the outcry, not anyone that could actually lay claim to the children.
Comment by spamber — February 21, 2009 @ 10:48 am
[...] few days ago, I wrote a long article basically saying that the sins of the mother should not affect the children…that the Suleman [...]
Pingback by GlossLip » Octomom Vs. Octograndma: Nadya Suleman Lashes Out At Her Own Mother In Interview — February 24, 2009 @ 4:09 pm
[...] few days ago, I wrote a long article basically saying that the sins of the mother should not affect the children…that the Suleman [...]
Pingback by Celebrity Blog | Babelogs | Celebrity Gossip » Blog Archive » Octomom Vs. Octograndma: Nadya Suleman Lashes Out At Her Own Mother In Interview — February 25, 2009 @ 1:40 am
I think you people should not put her down this is what we do when you see someone one else with a problem you have to talk about thier problem give this girl a break don’t send death threats or be cruel to her, I have children of my own and I would love to help in any way I can if I could move there to hepl her out I will and she has to ask for help here give the girl credit for making the sacrifice of having children
Good luck to Nayda and if I could help out anyway contact me judes_publication@sympatico.ca
maybe I could live there as a nanny and help you out as well.
Comment by Jude — February 27, 2009 @ 5:47 pm
What the Octomom case does is magnify the damage caused by having children out-of-wedlock. Many women choose to just screw up one kid by getting pregnant without getting married. The more kids a woman has without a husband, the worse things get.
I know several families with more than 10 kids. They do just fine. Of course, they all got married and then went and had their babies. The octuplets issue is just a red herring. The real problem is when women choose to gratify their own desire to have children without considering the economic and emotional needs of the child(ren).
Comment by Momma — February 28, 2009 @ 11:51 pm
[...] stick by my original suggestion that this family receive immediate, intensive help; that the children be placed in some [...]
Pingback by GlossLip » Octomom Nadya Suleman’s Latest Publicist Quits In Lieu Of The Fact That She’s “Nuts” — March 9, 2009 @ 9:46 am
[...] stick by my original suggestion that this family receive immediate, intensive help; that the children be placed in some [...]
Pingback by Celebrity Blog | Babelogs | Celebrity Gossip » Blog Archive » Octomom Nadya Suleman’s Latest Publicist Quits In Light Of The Fact That She’s “Nuts” — March 9, 2009 @ 7:25 pm
[...] stick by my original suggestion that this family receive immediate, intensive help; that the children be placed in some [...]
Pingback by Celebrity Blog | Babelogs | Celebrity Gossip » Blog Archive » Octomom Nadya Suleman’s Latest Publicist Quits In Lieu Of The Fact That She’s “Nuts” — March 9, 2009 @ 7:25 pm
[...] stick by my original suggestion that this family receive immediate, intensive help; that the children be placed in some [...]
Pingback by Celebrity Blog | Babelogs | Celebrity Gossip » Blog Archive » Octomom Nadya Suleman’s Latest Publicist Quits In Light Of The Fact That She’s “Nuts†— March 10, 2009 @ 12:23 am
[...] if you remember right, I suggested that someone outside the family oversee any financial donations to the octuplets. Great minds and [...]
Pingback by GlossLip » Nadya Suleman Accepts Offer Of Help From Angels In Waiting; But Just Who Is More In Need Of It? — March 12, 2009 @ 11:12 am
[...] if you remember right, I suggested that someone outside the family oversee any financial donations to the octuplets. Great minds and [...]
Pingback by Celebrity Blog | Babelogs | Celebrity Gossip » Blog Archive » Nadya Suleman Accepts Offer Of Help From Angels In Waiting; But Just Who Is More In Need Of It? — March 12, 2009 @ 8:45 pm
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