Only At Walmart Can You Dress Anyway You Want, And Slap Other People’s Kids
Save Money – Live Worse, ALWAYS.
Two top stories on CNN right now feature the greatest place to buy the crappiest of crap in crapdom. Don’t get me wrong, I am forced to spend my stimulus checks at Walmart too, but I am not happy about it. Over the years, after discovering how sub-par many of the products are and how much of the merchandise comes from China (virtually 90% based on my expert analysis) I have been going to Target more and more. Plus, Target has a better level of customers. Think I am being a snob – read this:
“People of Wal-Mart,” a gag started by two 20-something brothers and their buddy to share crazy pictures with their friends, has gone viral. Promoted largely on sites like Digg and Funny or Die — and linked ad nauseam on Facebook and Twitter — the site picked up enough traffic to crash its servers on Wednesday.
“I’m still baffled — I really am,” said Andrew Kipple, 23, one of the creators of the site, who said his team was frantically working Wednesday to add enough server space to handle the surge in traffic.
Photos on the site, sent in by viewers all over the United States, frequently feature overweight people wearing tight clothes, bizarre hairstyles (with versions of the short-in-front, long-in-back “mullet” leading the pack) and fashion crimes ranging from furry leg warmers to miniskirts that leave absolutely nothing to the imagination.
So what inspired these two brothers to take their keen observation of the cultural phenomenon to the web? Hot messes of course:
Andrew and his brother Adam, 25, said they thought of the site after a visit to a South Carolina Wal-Mart where they saw a woman they believed to be a stripper, wearing an obscene T-shirt and leading a toddler in a harness. Around the next corner was a man with a beard reminiscent of the rock band ZZ Top.
“It’s kind of like the light bulb went off,” Andrew said. “We get the e-mails already from people who are like, ‘Why didn’t I think of this?’ We just happened to be fortunate enough to have the ability to actually follow through on it.”
While not every Walmart is as culturally rich in inappropriate attire and poorly executed hairstyles, the ones in the rural/and or southern parts of the country seem to attract an inordinate number of misfits. Cheap, poorly made goods in a consumer obsessed society is bound to have side effects and there’s no good reason we shouldn’t poke fun at these folks, many of whom live in very secluded little segments of this great country. Despite the internet’s ubiquity, there are still people who think a mullet, a wife beater and white socks and dress shoes is a fashion “do.”
So, VIVA WALMART!
Now, the bad Walmart News.
According to CNN, 61-year old Roger Stephens slapped a crying 2-year old after threatening the mother with this gem, “If you don’t shut the baby up, I will shut her up for you.”
Extra CLASSSSS-Y!
I understand the urge to want a screaming kid to “Shut IT” but that does NOT mean you can walk around slapping stranger’s kids. Not OK dude!
CNN on this not-so-shocking Walmart incident:
Roger Stephens, 61, was arrested Monday and charged with first-degree cruelty to children. An incident report obtained from police in Gwinnett County indicated Stephens did not know the 2-year-old girl he stands accused of hitting.
The confrontation happened shortly before noon at the Walmart in Stone Mountain, a suburb of Atlanta.
According to the arresting officer, the child’s mother said her daughter was crying as they walked down one of the aisles.
…Police said he hit her four or five times. “See, I told you I would shut her up,” the suspect allegedly told the mother.
Authorities described “slight redness” to the toddler’s face. Before he was arrested, Stephens apologized to the mother for striking the girl, the incident report said.
It’s inconceivable that a perfect stranger would think it was appropriate to hit someone else’s child. I can tell you with 100% certainty I would have f*cked that guy up if he touched one of my kids. Granted if my child was acting up I would have whispered in their ear in my most menacing voice, “Shut yer piehole before I rip your arm out and beat you with your own bloody stump.” Hey, don’t judge, I learned that from MY mom.
This is clearly a Walmart thing. Save money, dress funny — slap stranger’s kids!
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Classic…..yeah it’s a good thing that idiot wasn’t shopping in your hood! wheet!
Comment by Lori — September 3, 2009 @ 6:18 pm
Great article D!
Bargains or not, I refuse to shop at Walmart at all, I just can’t.
I loved clicking through the Walmart pics those guys put up, they were a hoot! Ugly America at it’s best!
There have been many times I would have loved to see a misbehaved kid get escorted out of a place, I would never think of hitting someone elses kid. This guy was off his rocker.
I don’t beleive in hitting kids myself in the first place. It never works, it only teaches kids it’s ok to hit someone. I was hit as a child, and it did NOTHING.
It did however make me feel degraded and it hurt a whole lot. But it never taught me a lesson as you can see…I still have a big mouth! tee-hee
Comment by Queen — September 3, 2009 @ 6:41 pm
What I can’t figure out is how he got in 4 or 5 slaps? Srsly, my size 7 would have been buried in his ass long before he got to slap #2. Was this mom too busy checking out the new line of Miley Cyrus clothes to notice her kid was being attacked?
Comment by glp — September 4, 2009 @ 8:09 am
Honestly can’t say I disagree. Considering that ppl let their kids run away and destroy the store half the time I think if the parents don’t control the kids the rest of the public does have to right to. I do think I would have slapped the mother though. The kid didn’t know better, the mom should (but might not).
Comment by Sole — September 9, 2009 @ 6:21 pm
What a JACKASS!All that uneducated 9th grade dropout had to do was go to another section of the store, until ethier the mother and child left,or the kid had quieted down.
As a possible consequence of his inability to control his temper,he could face a civil suit.At 61 years of age, you’de think that he would know better. If he is sued,and gets a civil judgement against him,and his wages could be garnished.So instead of that money going into his retirement or 401K,his money will be paying for that toddler’s college education.
So when he shops at “Wally World” in the future,the high point of his week will be trying to decide which flavor of “Alpo Helper” to purchase,and I don’t mean for his hounds ethier.
Comment by Redneck H8TR — October 23, 2009 @ 1:43 pm