This is the best video I could find of Jennifer Aniston and Jack Black presenting the award for the Best Animated Film at last night’s 81st Oscars. Proving that we as a public are still fascinated by the Brangelina vs. Jennifer Aniston saga, the show presenters panned to Jolie during the presentation. Both tacky and totally expected (and required).

Jennifer looked nervous and tore the hell out that envelope and she did stumble a bit at the beginning of the presentation, but hey, she got up there, got through it and didn’t blow a gasket.

For Angelina’s part, she put her best fake smile on and you know she was shooting pity daggers at poor Jennifer. Both women looked gorgeous, although Jen’s hair was frizzy and Angelina wore jewelry that resembled something you’d win in a gumball machine.

Who won that showdown? Mostly a draw, although Jennifer gets props for going out there in front of her ex-husband and his mistress, merely feet away in front of the whole world. Ask Debbie Reynolds how she’d feel doing to same in front of Elizabeth Taylor and Eddie Fisher.

I know it’s a shameless case of schadenfreude for me to feel a sense of pleasure that neither Angelina or Brad won an Oscar, but for those who don’t think that Hollywood pays attention to shady behavior and refuses to reward it, think again. Why do you think Tom Cruise has never won an Oscar? Shady cults are frowned on too.

Red Carpet

Tim Gunn embraces his inner and outer gay in ways that make me very uncomfortable.

Sarah Jessica Parker and hubby Matthew Broderick looked weak together. Maybe those rumors of a breakup are true. Weird chemistry.

Who told Miley Cyrus this was the Prom. That dress is really…well I am sure Jessica McClintock is thrilled her 1988 prom wear is making a comeback.

Brad Pitt looked amused, his date, some chick name Angelina Jolie looked very stuck up. Ugly earrings too I might add.

Kate Winslet, always wonderful.

Meryl Streep looks thin and lovely, 15-time nominee is a living legend. She’s accompanied by her daughter, who looks like she hasn’t mastered the art of speech yet.

Mickey Rourke is rocking his infamous pimp-tux chic look. I hope he wins, because it’s only fair.

The Opening, Hugh Jackman Dance, Sings and has a gay old time!

Hugh isn’t just the sexiest man alive, he’s also possibly the nicest. I loved his Barbara Walters pre-Oscar interview. Can’t wait to see the Wolverine flick.

The multi-talented Hugh does a hilarious dance number honoring the films nominated for Best Picture, including a little number with Best Actress nominee Anne Hathaway. I love her, I hope she wins.

Best Supporting Actress goes to Penelope Cruz (the only Cruz whose still making decent films) for her role in Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

OOOOhhhhh, here’s Jenny Aniston and Jack Black presenting for Best Animated film. I wonder what she’s thinking having to stand up there in front of her NEMESIS Angie, who’s sitting with the ex-husband who dumped her for his co-star and has since started their own multi-national army. I bet she wants to slap the sh*t out of her. Oh wait, that’s what I was thinking. Jenny’s probably thinking, “why do I date douchebags?” Oh no they didn’t, they just panned to Angelina Jolie and Brad. TACKY. Angie was laughing by the way. I can’t wait until she loses

Why yes, I am bitter, thank you very much.

Another uncomfortable moment, with Seth Rogan and James Franco doing a little scene from Milk. Oh no, did he just staple Seth’s face? WTF?

It’s James, Seth and some old dude Janusz Kaminski are presenting for Live Action Short Film. I thought it was for best foreign film, but fortunately my nine-year old was paying better attention and corrected me. Sheesh, everyone’s a friggin editor.

Best Supporting Actor coming up.

Wall-E wins Best Animated Film. Great choice, great film

Ben Stiller makes fun of the Unarapper, Joaquin Phoenix while presenting with Natalie Portman. Sad and not funny.

Jessica Biel, WTF? Why is she up there? She’s presenting and boring the hell out of everyone talking about gadgets and stuff. She should be showing off her hot BF JT. She looks like she forget to finish dressing.

Oh another dance number with Jack and Beyonce. Hmmm….not sure how I feel about this. A little Mamma Mia and not enough Rock n’ Roll. Oh well, gotta love Hugh, not so much Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens. So that’s why they were there.

Best Supporting Oscar winners Kevin Kline, Joel Gray, Alan Arkin, Cuba Gooding, Jr.and the crazy Christopher Walken are all up to honor the nominees, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Josh Brolin, Robert Downey, Jr., and Heath Ledger. RDJ was really hilarious in Tropic Thunder I must say.

There’s man-whore John Mayer with Jennifer Aniston.

Oh it’s creepy Christopher Walken toasting Michael Shannon, whom I’ve never heard of. The still handsome Kevin Kline honoring the late Heath Ledger, drum roll please. Who will win?????

HEATH WINS!!! And his creepy dad is up there with his mother and sister. Hoorah for Heath, I wish Matilda and Michelle had accepted instead, or at least been invited. Kind of tacky.

Not a dry eye in the house. Not one. Poor Heath. Good speech from his sneaky dad, his mother and sister are quite lovely and seemed proud. Mentioned Matilda, thank goodness.

Oh no, here’s Bill Maher pimping his documentary while presenting for Best Documentary. Man OnWire, wins the Oscar. I look forward to seeing this, btw, about the French guy, Philippe Petit who walked between the Twin Towers back in ‘74 on a tightrope. Nervy to say the least.

Will Smith is coming up next.

The Fresh Prince is talking about action movies, he’s done a few of those. Outstanding visual effects, The Curious Case of Sweeping the Oscars is once again nominated. I hope Iron Man wins, DAMN. Like I said, the Curious Case of the Benjamins Wins again. Ugh, there will be no living with Brangelina after this. Fingers crossed that Mickey Rourke sweeps up the stage with Brad Pitts smuggy stache.

Uh oh, Fresh Prince had a little case of the mush mouth! But he’s still lovable. Oscar goes to Dark Knight for Sound Editing. Yeehaa!

Sound Mixing Oscar, sheesh, that Curious Case of Herpes just keeps slapping me in the face. Maybe Slumdog will get one this time. Ohh, I was right, Slum Dog busts out a win. Take that Curious Buttons!

I love the Indian Tuxedo, smoking hot! Although he looks like a train ticket taker.

Yes, Will Smith is still gracing us with his hotness, something about Hugh doing lines backstage. Just kidding.

Film Editing Oscar goes to…Slumdog Millionaire. Rock on Subcontinent. Way to show Hollywood how it’s done.

What? Eddie Murphy, damn. Was Chris Rock busy or something? Oh geez, Jerry Lewis won an award, I sure hope he’s not there to give a speech, I don’t have all night, plus my ears can’t take the crazy. Ok, Jerry’s kids deserve to be honored. Oh no, he’s there poor guy looks old. I hope this is on a delay. He’s been stricken by the Dick Clark disease. Alright, I’ll stop, it’s not like getting old is contagious. Right? Congrats Jerry. Short and sweet.

The Jackman is back. Best Musical Score coming up. Slumdog rakes another one!!!

Why is Zac Efron up there? Lowered standards I guess.

Best Original Song montage, John Legend’s singing a song from Wall-E I think. Hey, I am not getting paid for this.

More jaunty numbers from Slumdog Millionaire, how festive.

Alicia Keys or a mannequin? You decide.

Slumdog wins again, damn, they almost look embarrassed.

Best Foreign Film coming up, Liam Neeson and Freida Pinto presenting. Departures from Japan wins. Director is awesome and vaaay vaaay appy. I am not being mean, I loved his speech, hope you will be back too dude.

God save the Queen…Latifah! Uh oh, it’s the tribute to the dead. Sad Oh how we will miss Paul Newman *sigh*

Best Director goes to Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire. WOW, they are slamming.

Only Best Actor, Actress and Film to go.

Best Actress tributes, Sophia Loren’s hand on her hip is irritating me. This is Meryl Streep you are talking about, can be a little more humble please. Perhaps it’s her age, she’s holding her hip in place. Oh, here we go with Angelina Jolie, it’s fitting from one ice princess (Nicole Kidman) to another. Please let Anne win..

And the Oscar goes to Kate Winslet. Finally, she gets the win after being shut out so many times this season. Good for her! Time to see Angie’s sucking on sour grapes face, boo hoo, cry me a river. Kate just told Meryl to suck it up. Damn, good luck topping that Mickey!

Here we go, Best Actor. Michael Douglas, looking an awful lot like dad Kurt. Robert DeNiro toasting Sean Penn, who could win, but has already won, so it would be nice if they spread it around a bit. Boy, Sean’s come a long way since Spicoli. Adrian Brody tells us we should all know who Richard Jenkins is. We probably should, if he wins, we certainly will It’s Anthony Hopkins giving lipservice to Bradley Pitt. Hmmm…based on the clapping, apparently famous people love Brad too. Ghandi, er I mean Ben Kingsley paying tribute to legend Mickey Rourke. Don’t like Mickey, go see Angel Heart.

Fingers crossed, Loki’s watching from heaven. It’s an UPSET, SEAN PENN WINS AGAIN. DAMN! Well, that’s too bad for Mickey. Oh well, least Brad didn’t win. Sheesh, Sean is still a crazy bastard. Gotta love him for calling the Academy a bunch of commie homo lovers.

Only Best Picture awaits.

The winner of the 2009 Academy Award for Best Picture goes to Slumdog Millionaire.

It’s all over but the crying. Great job Hugh and congrats to all the winners. Peace out!

What do you do with a trophy when the winner is no longer around to accept it? That’s just the dilemma the Academy Awards is facing this Sunday when the Best Supporting Role is announced. The late, great Heath Ledger (we finally saw him in The Dark Knight – a creepy and amazing performance) is up for the award, but since his death last January, this has been a nagging question for all involved.

Heath, who died from an accidental overdose of prescription meds, was NOT married, and therefore the normal procedure of giving a posthumous award to one’s spouse won’t work. The next step is to give the golden statue to the winner’s oldest child. Ok, but Heath’s oldest and only child, Matilda Rose, is just three years old. Minor glitch right? But wait there’s a catch. A contract must be signed and while Matilda may be as brilliant as her mum and dad some day, she’s simply too young to sign. Here’s more from Yahoo:

Academy tradition calls for a posthumous statuette to go to the spouse, or, if there is no living spouse, to the oldest child. Ledger wasn’t married, and Matilda is his only child .

Yet because she is only 3, Matilda is legally unable to sign the winner’s agreement — a contract required of all nominees that says the recipient will not resell his or her Oscar without first offering it back to the academy for $1. The agreement is the academy’s way of limiting what might otherwise be a lively secondary market in Oscars.

“From our point of view, somebody has to sign the winner’s agreement, and a 3-year-old can’t do that,” says Davis. “Nor can a parent sign any kind of legal document that obligates a child to do something once they turn 18. I didn’t know that before we looked into it, but it’s a good law.”

After conversations with Williams and with Ledger’s family in Australia, the academy hit on a solution: “In the event that Heath Ledger should be selected as the supporting actor recipient, the statuette will be held in trust for his daughter by her mother, Michelle Williams , until Matilda reaches the age of 18,” says Davis. “At that point, she may execute what we call an heir’s agreement and keep the statuette forever — or, if she chooses not to do that, it will return to us.”

In other words, the Oscar statuette can spend the next 15 years with Matilda, but her mother, who has signed the academy’s agreement, will be the legal custodian. When Matilda is old enough, she can claim ownership by signing the agreement. If she does so, she’ll become the official owner and will be legally bound not to sell her Oscar; if she opts not to sign, the statuette will revert to the academy without any payment.

As for who would accept the award, that — like many other aspects of the ceremony — is a matter that show producers Laurence Mark and Bill Condon are keeping under wraps. Davis will only say that tradition calls for a posthumous Oscar to be accepted either by a close relative or “an artist who was close to the nominee, and who can speak credibly for him or her.”

There’s little doubt Matilda, under the watchful eye of her protective mother, will sign the contract and keep her dad’s statue safely secure, IF he wins. And chances are good he will, with experts and the public giving him an 83% chance of picking up the Oscar. Here are the nominees for Best Supporting Actor: Josh Brolin – Milk, Robert Downey Jr. – Tropic Thunder, Heath Ledger – The Dark Knight, Michael Shannon – Revolutionary Road, Philip Seymour Hoffman – Doubt

While this Oscar dilemma may be temporarily resolved, we still don’t know who will actually accept on behalf of Ledger should he win. I’d put my guesses on Michelle or someone closely affiliated with the film, maybe even Christian Bale (a long shot, especially after his recently revealed F-bomb tirade) or perhaps director Christopher Nolan. At this point, your guess is as good as mine.

Glosslip plans to do some live-blogging this Sunday of the Oscars, stay tuned for more info.

The reviews for The Dark Night are coming in, and the reviews for Heath Ledger’s performance are overwhelmingly positive.  Some people even say that his portrayal of The Joker could very well win an Oscar:

Critics have described the performance as ’spellbinding’ and say it is his best ever.

The Dark Knight received the rave reviews after critics were shown a preview of the new blockbuster at the weekend.

The Australian actor died of an overdose in his New York apartment soon after shooting the film, in January this year. [...]

Heath was nominated for an Oscar following his performance in Brokeback Mountain in 2006 but missed out on the award to Philip Seymour Hoffman.

In Rolling Stone magazine, critic Emmanuel Levy described Heath in his Dark Knight role: ‘ can only speak superlatives of Ledger, who is mad-crazy-blazing brilliant as the Joker.

‘It’s typical of Ledger’s total commitment to films as diverse as Brokeback Mountain and I’m Not There that he does nothing out of vanity or the need to be liked.

‘If there’s a movement to get him the first posthumous Oscar since Peter Finch won for 1976’s Network, sign me up.’

Now, I’m going to say something, at the risk of being totally skewered.  I agree that Heath was an extremely talented actor and he probably deserved more accolades for his talent than he received during his short life.  But there are a lot of other talented actors out there who deserve the same thing.  I haven’t really heard much buzz on who might be nominated, but there’s no doubt that the Oscar field will be packed with talent…people just as talented, or perhaps more so, than Heath.

Don’t get me wrong, I mean no disrespect.  I haven’t seen the trailer, but if Heath’s portrayal truly deserves to win then I sincerely hope it does.  From everything I’ve read, it’s the best of the Batman movies thus far, and Heath’s performance is a huge part of making it so.  But I don’t want him to win because it was his last completed role and because of sympathy or sentimentality…I want him to win because he deserved it, because anything else would cheapen his memory.

(On another note, does that picture give anyone else the total creeps?)

According to some French actress who won an Oscar, the 9/11 attacks were just the United States wanting to destroy a couple of big buildings that were simply too expensive:

Referring to the two passenger jets being flown into the Twin Towers, [Marion] Cotillard said:

“We see other towers of the same kind being hit by planes. Are they burned? They [sic] was a tower, I believe it was in Spain, which burnt for 24 hours. It never collapsed. None of these towers collapsed. And there [in New York], in a few minutes, the whole thing collapsed.”

She added that the towers, planned in the early Sixties, were an outdated “money-sucker” that would have cost more to modernise than to rebuild altogether, which is why they were destroyed.

She said: “It was a money-sucker because they were finished, it seems to me, by 1973, and to re-cable all that, to bring up-to-date all the technology and everything, it was a lot more expensive, that work, than destroying them.”

She also doesn’t believe a man walked on the moon, although I include that more as a sad attempt at comic relief:

She said: “Did a man really walk on the Moon? I saw plenty of documentaries on it, and I really wondered. And in any case I don’t believe all they tell me, that’s for sure.”

Okay, Marion.  I get that we shouldn’t swallow every line of bull that comes down the pike and that you’re a quirky revolutionary thinker who thinks on a level above the rest of us peons (heretofore to be known as “Citizens Of The Real World”), so here’s a cookie.

I suppose the almost 3000 people killed that day were just “collateral damage”.  The attacks on the Pentagon and the downed plane in Pennsylvania, reportedly on its way to another attack site, were both red herrings designed to take the focus off the demolition of the Twin Towers.  The widespread panic, air pollution, injuries, and aftershocks in New York were just because the planes didn’t hit the buildings at the optimum angle for a clean implosion.  The firefighters and first responders who were injured and killed attempting to rescue those trapped in the buildings should have stayed out of a demo site.  All the people, including children, on the four airplanes involved were expendable and needed to be on the planes to give the impression that these were just routine flights.  I suppose one could say that the towers collapsed in “minutes”, because Tower 2 stood for 56 minutes before falling and Tower 1 stood for 102 minutes.  Nearby buildings that were damaged in the attacks, such as the other WTC buildings and St. Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church?  Well, maybe they needed to be torn down too, and it was just gravy that they happened to be damaged.

I’m not gullible.  I know that there are many things about the attacks that horrible day which have yet to be explained, and there are many things we will never know.  I understand that we shouldn’t believe everything we hear, and not all is as it seems when it comes to politics and those involved in making it digestible.  Many, many mistakes were made both during and after the attacks, mistakes with long-term ramifications.  But for some actress to tell us that the planes full of innocent passengers flew into the towers because the buildings were outdated and needed to be torn down is at best stupid, and at worst…stupid.  She, of course, knows how the buildings properly should have burnt and fallen because she recieved her engineering degree at acting school…the same school that graduated Sean Penn with a degree in economics and Angelina Jolie with a diploma in world affairs.

Her insinuation that the towers were a “money-sucker” and it would be cheaper to fly planes into them in a form of demolition-via-aircraft are ironically laughable in the knowledge that the economy of Lower Manhattan was devastated after the planes flew into the buildings.  This doesn’t even include the effect the attacks had on the economy of New York as a whole, not to mention New Jersey and Washington.  She also hasn’t taken into account that the attacks and the ensuing aftermath have already cost New York almost $95 billion dollars, the Pentagon around $500 million dollars, and the incalculable cost it has taken on the lives and psyches both of those who lost loved ones and those who survived.

All that to tear down two buildings in a cost-effective manner.

The actress later insisted that it was all a misunderstanding, and that her remarks should in no way affect her acting career, in particular the new movie she’s making with Johnny Depp:

Her Paris-based lawyer Vincent Tolesano said: “Marion never intended to contest nor question the attacks of September 11, 2001, and regrets the way old remarks have been taken out of context.”

The apology coincided with Cotillard preparing to fly to Chicago next week to start filming Public Enemies with Johnny Depp – a movie that was set to become the first big money spinner for the previously unknown actresses .

In fact Cotillard, a green activist for Greenpeace, had used an interview with the French channel Paris Première to make her views abundantly clear.

Speaking on the cinema discussion programme Paris Dernière in February 2007, Cotillard had said: “I think we’re lied to about a number of things”, even claiming the Americans had destroyed the Twin Towers themselves because the were an outdated “money sucker”.

Expanding her conspiracy theory, Cotillard said it would been “a lot more expensive” to rebuild the towers “which is why they were destroyed”, with the loss of thousands of American lives.

Never intended to question the attacks?  Remarks taken out of context?  It’s amazing how people can backpedal when millions of dollars are at stake.  Lives, however, apparently are expendable.  If you don’t like it here, then go make your little movies somewhere else.

Her ignorant words and arrogant attitude are an insult to all those who perished, survived, and overcame those horrific attacks.  Yet another reason why actors shouldn’t be involved in politics…they need to stick to what they know best, which is pretending to be something they are not and living in alternate realities.

Oh wait.

This is exactly what I was alluding to in my earlier post about the inherent snobbery which goes into the selection process of the Academy Awards. Character actors are often ignored for their great performances for what can only be what Academy voters deem as a lack of versatility, or even popularity by the masses. If the people voted for whom they deemed to have given the best performance, I am sure the outcome would be different more often than not.

Actor Brad Renfro appeared in 21 films before his tragic death on January 15, from a heroin overdose. Brad was 25 at the time of his death, and his recent life had been marred by substance abuse problems, including an arrest in 2005 for attempting to purchase heroin. This however, does not diminish his talent or his previous work, which garnered him critical acclaim at the time. His first role was in the blockbuster The Client, a film adaptation of a book by John Grisham. (I love his books btw)

He also starred alongside the likes of Brad Pitt, Dustin Hoffman, Robert de Niro and Kevin Bacon in Sleepers, and with Scarlett Johannson in the indie classic Ghost World. In 1995, he won Hollywood Reporter’s “Young Star” award, and was voted nominated in the People’s “Best 30 Under 30.”

My point is, while Brad had derailed his career at the end, he was hardly a nobody and was certainly someone people in the industry respected for having talent and potential. They didn’t ignore Heath Ledger who died because of an accidental overdose, but of course, he’d been nominated for an award.

The Academy has released a statement to Us Magazine, stating:

“It was really an editing decision because we can’t fit everyone in,” a rep for the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences tells Usmagazine.com. “There was no specific reason.”

That’s some BS right there. Heath Died AFTER Brad, and how hard would it have been to stick Brad’s picture in there? Seriously, this industry takes these young people, throws them into a world of excess, practically plies them with drugs, sucks them of their soul and then discards them like yesterday’s trash.

Tell me Academy, how about you edit this, you buttlicks!

Right before the Oscars aired last night, we watched a Barbara Walters special which featured actor Harrison Ford. Harrison was discussing his long and distinguished career with Walters, with some sneak peeks at the new Indiana Jones movie. Harrison, 65, has never won an Oscar. He was nominated once for his role in the 1985 film Witness, but lost to William Hurt who won for Kiss of the Spider Woman.

It seemed inconceivable that an actor as revered and talented as Harrison Ford had never won an Oscar. Ford’s certainly not short on monetary success, having starred in huge blockbuster films like the Star Wars triology, all the Indiana Jones films, as well as cult faves like Blade Runner and American Graffiti, but alas the gold statue has eluded him.

When you consider Ford’s age, and dwindling opportunity for roles which might garner Academy Award attention, the chances at this point of him winning an Oscar are slim. That seems an incredibly harsh reality. And dare I say, unfair.

This brings me to Johnny Depp, an actor who has been through many ups and downs in his career, but in the last few years has been on a real high. Essentially, through his own inimitable style, Johnny carried a somewhat off-the-wall Disney film, (based on a popular ride at Disneyland) and turned the film Pirates of the Caribbean into a HUGE financial enterprise. His depiction of Captain Jack, an 18th century metro-sexual pirate of questionable morals, was incredibly brilliant. But then again, Johnny Depp is an amazing character actor. I can imagine anyone else playing a modern day Willy Wonka, or any of the other quirky roles he is best known for.

Depp’s collaboration with director Tim Burton has created some great films, including Edward Scissorhands, Ed Wood, Sleepy Hollow, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Corpse Bride and his latest Sweeney Todd. One of my personal favorites is his portrayal of Gilbert Grape from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. Johnny has been nominated for three Academy Awards, J.M. Barrie (author of Peter Pan) in Finding Neverland, Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of The Caribbean, and his latest role as Sweeney Todd, the murderous barber looking for revenge in the film Sweeney Todd.

This year’s winner for Best Actor was Daniel Day-Lewis in There Will Be Blood, a brilliant actor certainly, but one who’s already been honored by the Academy. My first thought when Daniel won (besides who the hell dressed he and his wife?) was “Why not Johnny, or Viggo Mortenson for that matter, I mean let’s not get greedy there Daniel.” Of course, this response was utterly inappropriate and without any real merit or objective basis, but still. It kind of raised my hackles when I thought back to poor old Harrison Ford and his year-after-year snubs, his age, what’s left of his opportunities to win an Oscar and how bad I’d feel to have lived my life working hard, doing brilliant work and never fully actualizing my dream of winning the highest achievement in achievement.

Demoralizing to say the least. Of course Johnny Depp, Viggo Mortenson and another favorite of mine, Leonardo Di Caprio (his portrayal of Howard Hughes in The Aviator is one of the finest ever) are young enough to have numerous opportunities to play roles which will hopefully showcase their talent, and it their lucky, win an Oscar.

But then again, with guys like Daniel Day-Lewis (2 Academy Awards), Jack Nicholson (3 Academy Awards), Tom Hanks* (2 Academy Awards) and Denzel Washington* (2 Academy Awards) hoarding all the golden statues, they may end up like Harrison Ford, looking back over their lives and wondering what they might have done differently.

Not sure what the answer to this conundrum is, but surely, like with all honors, there’s some politics and snobbery going on. And dammit, I don’t like it one bit. Spread the love Academy, give some others a chance.

(Both of these are favorite actors of mine, so I am NOT picking on them for anything other than multiple wins)

I’ll let you in on a little secret:  I generally hate awards shows.  I think they’re overdone glitzfests designed to show off people’s egos.  Having said that, I am glad the Oscars went on with the show this year, if only for tradition’s sake (the writer’s strike would have seriously hurt the ceremony, with no scripted banter and actors refusing to cross picket lines), and I do like to see people rewarded for their hard work.   But sorry, I don’t make my viewing choices based on who won what, and I couldn’t care less who wore what designer gown.

Having gotten all that out of the way, here are some of the winners at last night’s Academy Awards:

Best Motion Picture: “No Country for Old Men.”

Lead Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis, “There Will Be Blood.”

Lead Actress: Marion Cotillard, “La Vie en Rose.”

Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem, “No Country for Old Men.”

Supporting Actress: Tilda Swinton, “Michael Clayton.”

Director: Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, “No Country for Old Men.”

Foreign Language Film: “The Counterfeiters,” Austria.

Adapted Screenplay: Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, “No Country for Old Men.”

Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody, “Juno.”

Animated Feature Film: “Ratatouille.”

Art Direction: “Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street.”

Cinematography: “There Will Be Blood.”

Sound Mixing: “The Bourne Ultimatum.”

Sound Editing: “The Bourne Ultimatum.”

Original Score: “Atonement,” Dario Marianelli.

Original Song: “Falling Slowly” from “Once,” Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova.

Costume: “Elizabeth: The Golden Age.”

Documentary Feature: “Taxi to the Dark Side.”

Documentary Short Subject: “Freeheld.”

Film Editing: “The Bourne Ultimatum.”

Makeup: “La Vie en Rose.”

Animated Short Film: “Peter & the Wolf.”

Live Action Short Film: “Le Mozart des Pickpockets (`The Mozart of Pickpockets’).”

Visual Effects: “The Golden Compass.”

That’s because everyone’s favorite nottie, Paris Hilton, has been banned from the Oscars.

Yep, you read it correctly…Paris has been given the old heave-ho by Academy Awards organizers and told that she’s not wanted there…mainly because her latest film The Hottie and the Nottie totally tanked at the box office, bringing in about $25,000 (or $225 per theater showing it).  I mean, how far down on the level of bad do you have to descend to be completely and utterly snubbed by the very people who are as close to your peers as you’ll ever have?

The Daily Star said it best, I can’t possibly put it any better than this, and I’m not even going to try:

Paris Hilton’s fairy godmother has furnished her with a £2million [$3.9M USD] outfit for the Oscars.

But the wonky-eyed Cinderella won’t be going to the ball.

The blonde irritant, 27, has been leaking her eyes all over ugly sister Nicky, 24, after being refused a chance to get her publicity fix at the swish ceremony next Sunday.

Ever the presumptuous and stingy carbuncle, Paris blagged a bum-clenchingly expensive dress and diam-onds from designer Kira Plastinina.

But her latest movie The Hottie And The Nottie has been voted the worst in history by users of film bible IMDB. So organisers of the ceremony have pointed out that giving her an invite would be like sending Jim Davidson a VIP ticket to a Gay Pride party.

Our man in the pumpkin said: “She cried hot, salty tears when she was banned from the Oscars.

“She’s desperate to be taken seriously as an actress and hoped she would be able to network with the film bods.”

Unfortunately, Paris’s greatest screen glory was in night-vision in her infamous 2004 grumble flick 1 Night In Paris which she made with her equally wooden ex Rick Salomon, 40. Rather gallingly for Paris, she actually had to do real work to promote her latest offering to the silver screen, which sees her push the boundaries of character acting as the “Hottie”.

A gossiping mouse squeaked: “She’s tempted to go to the parties afterwards, but might wear her trademark brunette wig to save her dignity.”

So if any Prince Charmings find a glass slipper by Chateau Marmont sniff the OdorEater for traces of Paris.

PWNED!

After a strike that lasted longer than most thought it would, writers laid down their picket signs and once again picked up their keyboards, to the delight of television audiences everywhere:

More than 92 percent of the Writers Guild of America members who cast ballots Tuesday in Los Angeles and New York voted to end their work stoppage over residuals for writing in the digital age, including new media and the Internet. The new deal is for three years.

“The strike is over. Our membership has voted, and writers can go back to work,” said Patric Verrone, president of the WGA’s West chapter.

While the new deal does not give the writers everything that they had asked for, it is a better deal than what they had previously:

Verrone said the WGA achieved two of three goals through negotiations with the studios.

The first goal relates to writers’ “jurisdiction” in new media, Verrone said, meaning that any content written by guild members specifically for new media, such as the Internet or cell phones, will be covered by their contract.

The second goal relates to reuse of content in new media, Verrone said.

The agreement bases payment for reuses on a distributor’s gross formula for residuals, “so that when they get paid, we get paid,” he said.

It is the “first time in our history that a new delivery system pays on a residual formula superior to the prior existing system,” Verrone said.

The third goal, which Verrone said the guild did not achieve, was to shore up writers’ shares of the revenue from animation and reality television.

“Giving up animation and reality was a heartbreaking thing for me personally,” he said. “But it was more important that we make a deal that benefited the membership, the town as a whole, that got people back to work and that solved the biggest problems in new media.”

Well, maybe next time.

The new deal also means that workers who were affected by the strike, but not directly involved in it, can go back to work as well…people like makeup artists, hairdressers, set designers, camera operators, and the person who operates the Teleprompter.  It was my belief that the studios held out so long because they believed that by creating collateral damage (the non-striking workers affected by the strike), writers would feel pressured to cave in and go back to work.  It does seem to have worked somewhat, as the strike drug on for months, workers were fired or laid off, and the WGA eventually did have to concede on one of their points.

This also means that the Oscars can now go on as planned, with scripted banter and A-list stars.  Had the strike continued, many stars said they would not cross the picket lines out of solidarity, and the planners would be forced to rely on either improvised jokes or letting Jon Stewart write his own material for the hours-long telecast.  And actors who have waited a lifetime for an award can now rest assured that the show will go on.

Of course, some late-night shows went back on the air before the end of the strike, so that the jobs of their crews could be salvaged (a precedent set by none other than the late, great Johnny Carson during the 1988 writer’s strike), and some shows negotiated deals with their writers independent of the greater strike.

But don’t set up your Tivos just yet…it will take about four weeks to get new episodes of comedies back on the air, and six to eight weeks to get drama episodes aired.