I wasn’t going to write about this, since I hate doing stories that are blatant rumor and innuendo, but I’ve seen this now on several different sites so I’m wondering just what’s up.  Apparently, Madonna, who is reported to be thisclose to a split from hubby Guy Ritchie, and Alex Rodriguez, of the NY Yankees, have possibly been engaged in a little after-hours batting practice:

A ringless and grim-faced Ritchie, 39, arrived in New York City from London yesterday after several weeks apart from his family. A source tells Us that the $28-million-a-year Rodriguez, 32, has made numerous solo nighttime visits to Madonna, 49, at her spacious home and would sneak out “as late as midnight.” Says the source, “All the doormen are talking.”

Rodriguez attended Madonna’s April 30 NYC concert; the singer sat in his seats at a Yankees game on June 22 (it was the first time she ever was photographed at a Yankees game). Her son Rocco, 7, also sported Yankees gear on June 25 while playing in Central Park.

And not only that, but he was seen there shortly after his wife popped out another addition to the family:

New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez was at Madonna’s Central Park West apartment in New York City shortly after his wife gave birth to their second daughter, Usmagazine.com has learned.

One source tells Us that Rodriguez, 32, visited the singer, 49, possibly as early as the night after his wife gave birth.

Yet another reason for me to not like either of them.

In the meantime, hubby Guy (remember him?) arrived in NYC to reportedly try and salvage what is left of his marriage, after being away from his family for several weeks:

Ritchie arrived in New York yesterday  in what is believed to be an 11th hour effort to salvage his marriage.

Neither Madonna nor the Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels director have been seen wearing their wedding rings in recent weeks.

I mean, come on…as much as I hate divorces and what it does to people and families, I realize sometimes it is inevitable.  But can’t Madonna wait until the divorce is over before she cuckolds her long-suffering husband?  I mean, he has basically kowtowed to her every desire, and she still doesn’t have enough respect for him to wait until they at least file.  Allegedly.  Ain’t sayin’, just sayin’.

I need a shower now.  I feel dirty.

I wonder if she turned to Benji before she left the house and asked, “Honey, do I look fat in this?”

Could it be?  No…surely not!  Life couldn’t be that cruel…right?  Right?  We haven’t seen Paris for a while and she never does anything without a reason…so…?

Hey…ain’t sayin’, just sayin’.

According to “sources”, American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken’s boys do work, and he’s gonna be a daddy.  Oh, and the mom?  A 50-year-old record producer friend of Clay’s:

Here’s what we know. Multiple sources tell us the mother is Jaymes Foster, a record producer and Clay’s best friend. He lives at her home when he’s in L.A.

We’re told 50-year-old Foster, who produced several Aiken CDs, is due in August. She’s the sister of record mogul David Foster. She divorced a few years back and has no kids. Aiken is 29.

We’re told Foster was artificially inseminated. But Clay is a lot more than sperm — we’re told he will have an active role in raising the child.

Uh.  Okayyyyy…

I really don’t have much to add to this story, except to wonder if he and Larry Birkhead will be getting their kids together for “playdates”.  Ain’t sayin’, just sayin’.

And you simply must see this photo over at dlisted.  It really, really makes you wonder about some people.  Yes, they are “mom jeans” personified.

A few months ago, actress Kirsten Dunst checked herself into Cirque Lodge (the former treatment center of model patient Lindsay Lohan) for what many assumed was treatment for alcoholism.  She’s been well-known to have problems with alcohol, enough for the tabloid press to give her the unfortunate nickname “Kirsten Drunkst”, and she’s been known to dabble in drugs.  Well, she’s now saying that she wasn’t in there for a problem with drinking, but for treatment for depression:

“I didn’t go to Cirque Lodge for alcohol abuse or drug abuse,” the actress, 26, tells E! in a new interview. “I went there for depression.”

She says “it was a good six months before I decided to go away.

“I was struggling, and I had the opportunity to go somewhere and take care of myself,” she continues. “I was fortunate to have the resources to do it. My friends and family thought it was a good idea, too. But I didn’t know where to go. My doctor recommended Cirque Lodge.”

There’s just one problem with this admission…you can’t get into Cirque Lodge unless you have an addiction that you want to control.

From their own website, they talk about drug and alcohol rehab here:

Cirque Lodge is an accredited addiction treatment center located in Sundance Utah. We are one of the nation’s most exclusive drug treatment centers providing services for alcohol and drug rehab. We were named by Town and Country magazine as one of the top drug and substance abuse treatment facilities. Individuals or families needing immediate addiction treatment, drug rehab or alcohol rehab should call us at 1-877-997-3422. We are known for providing effective drug and alcohol treatment for individuals and families suffering from the disease of alcoholism or drug addiction.

Cirque Lodge, Sundance Utah is a private world-class residential drug rehab and addiction treatment facility. Our alcohol rehabilitation and drug rehab program is offered in a private mountain setting. Cirque Lodge derives its name from the beautiful glacier-carved Cascade Cirque high in the Wasatch Range of the Rocky Mountains.

And here:

Cirque Lodge is a private drug rehab program and is not contracted with any government agencies.

And here:

Treatment for addiction should not be a one size fits all program. It takes a number of programs and therapy types to provide the answer. Addiction is not something that can be miraculously cured, so avoid drug rehab programs that tell you such. Addiction treatment takes time and a conscious effort from the individual to be achieved. At Cirque Lodge, our drug rehab program is based on the 12-step modality created by Alcoholics Anonymous. The 12-step method functions as a good basis for continuing focus after leaving rehab.

And here:

Cirque Lodge drug rehab center, located in the mountains of Sundance UT, provides the ultimate in effective alcohol rehab and private drug treatment. Our exclusive mountain facility offers the privacy and attention to detail found only in the finest treatment centers in the world. At Cirque Lodge, we develop an individualized treatment model that will meet the needs of each resident in our treatment center. Our drug treatment program focuses on helping people struggling with alcohol abuse as well as drugs. For the best drug rehab facility available, Cirque Lodge is the choice of professionals throughout the world. Call us today for a free consultation and review. Recovery begins with the first step, and that step is a phone call to one of our experienced and caring staff members. Call 1-877-99-REHAB today.

And from their admission guidelines page:

Treatment:
Drug Addictions, Alcohol Addictions and other Substance Abuse issues

Basically, while I found tons of information relating to drug and alcohol abuse, I found nothing that said they treat depression on its own, just as it relates to drug and alcohol abuse and as part of treatment for those addictions.  It would appear that the first criteria to be met for admission is drug or alcohol abuse.

Look, I’m not ragging on Kirsten, or anyone else who struggles with either drugs, alcohol, or depression.  If you are someone who is having a problem with depression, there is no shame whatsoever in going to a medical professional for treatment, counseling, and/or medical intervention.  Likewise, if you find yourself struggling with an addiction, there is absolutely no shame in going to a treatment center and receiving help for that addiction.

But there is a problem when someone checks themselves into a clinic specifically for addictions, and then claims it was for depression.  One of the first rules of any sort of treatment is admitting you have a problem and being honest with yourself, whether that be about addiction or depression or whatever.  There seems to be the implication here that treatment for depression is somehow more “accepted” and less stigmatizing than treatment for addiction, and it appears on the surface that Kirsten isn’t exactly being honest with the public.  She may have indeed recieved some depression therapy in Cirque, but by their own admission statement you cannot be admitted for depression alone.  I ain’t sayin’, I’m just sayin’.

No, it’s probably none of our business what she checked in there for…but since Kirsten has felt the need to make this announcement, it has now become part of the public domain to be commented on.  Had she not said anything, I would not have said anything either.  It is unfortunate that there is still this stigma around receiving treatment for addiction, when individuals attempting to put their lives back together should be supported.

I sincerely wish Kirsten all the best, and I hope she can emerge from this a better and happier person, whatever it is she is dealing with.  It just seems to me that she needs to be honest with herself, before that can ever happen.

TMZ has released some more recordings of daddy Terry Bollea, aka Hulk Hogan, talking to son Nick while he’s cooling his heels in the pokey, and wow…I don’t know what the Hulkster’s been smokin’, but it must be gooooood stuff.

The snippet starts out talking about what I assume is a new tattoo Nick is thinking of getting:

NICK:  So, I’m, I dunno…should I get “grateful” and “awareness” under my wrist and then put “family first” on top?

TERRY:  You should get “grateful” and “awareness” right where I have it.

NICK:  Yeah, that’s where I’m gonna put it, but “family first”…should I put that underneath “grateful” and “awareness”, cause I’m afraid that if you look at the wrist from underneath it’ll say “grateful family” and the other one’ll say “awareness first”.

TERRY:  [bleeped]

So I guess Nick found something to think about in jail…what sort of lame, inane tattoo to get.  Better than thinking about what he did to screw up his life and that of John Graziano, which is such a downer, man.  Really heavy stuff.

Speaking of downers and heavy, Hulk then gets all like wow…all he needs is some blacklight:

TERRY:  All right…you ready for some heavy stuff, or you wanna keep talkin’?

NICK:  Yeah, yeah, gimme some heavy stuff, big dog.

TERRY:  All right.  Y’know that vibe, that, uh, you were on, y’know?

NICK:  Yeah.

TERRY:  That present, aware, that whole vibe you get yourself on?

NICK:  Mmm-hmm.

TERRY:  That’s, that’s just like a temporary vibe, y’know, that’s like you’re evading all those low vibes of worry and doubt and fear but you’re, before you became present, you know how you’re always worried and doubtful and fearful and all that?

NICK:  Mmm-hmm.

TERRY:  Where that’s your normal state?  Well, all of a sudden, that temporary high vibe that you get–

NICK:  Yeah.

TERRY:  That’s just a glimpse of your next stage, where you’re gonna be all the time.

NICK:  Yeah.

TERRY:  Y’know what I mean?  God is tellin’ ya that high vibe you felt when you woke up this morning and said you’re still livein’ [not a typo:  rhymes with “jivin’”]?  That’s who you really are and that’s where you’re gonna go.

NICK:  [bleeped]  God gave me a glimpse of being present, because that’s where He wants me to live all the time?

TERRY:  Right.

NICK:  Um…when…

TERRY:  And the more present you stay, the more you’re gonna…that glimpse is gonna  become your reality, y’knowwhutImean?

NICK:  Mmm-hmm.

TERRY:  Pretty soon you’re gonna live in that vibe all the time, and then once you get on that vibe all the time your dad’s gonna hit you with a bunch of other crazy sh*t and raise your level again.

NICK:  [laughs]

TERRY:  Y’know?  I’m, I’m, I’ll Bible-thump ya to death if you don’t watch out.  Dude, I’ll sit, I’ll sit across from ya and Bible-thump you for hours.

NICK:  I wanna do it every single day.

TERRY:  Dude, I got Jennifer over here to my apartment, and I used to sit her down for seven or eight hours at a time and read to her.

NICK:  [bleeped]

TERRY:  Be aware of where you are.  Become really present.  Look around.  Just don’t look, like I say, “Just don’t hear me, listen,” all right?  When you look around, just don’t look, y’know, don’t see the lights, see the shapes, the colors, be aware of the silence, the silent presence of each thing, be aware that the space around a thing…there may be a chair in the room, but there’s more space in the room than there is an object, y’know what I mean?

NICK:  Mmm-hmm.

TERRY:  Because, like, for every sound, the sound comes and goes, but it disappears into that huge emptiness…just think of how big emptiness is compared to a 747.  The 747 flies in the emptiness that’s twenty trillion billion times bigger than the plane.

NICK:  Mmm-hmm.

TERRY:  Is that too crazy for me to lay atcha?

NICK:  No, no.

TERRY:  Listen to the silence underneath the sounds.  The sound comes and goes but the silence is always there.  Touch something, anything, and feel it, acknowledge it as being, as a being in the now.

I would respectfully suggest that Terry spend a little more time actually reading the Bible, and not just thumping it.  Ain’t sayin’, just sayin’.

But wait, there’s more…

Amid some pretty solid news that Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson are definitely splitzville, comes this report that Tony honored his promise to squire Jess to her sister’s wedding…after being “reminded” by her father Joe:

After multiple sources told Us this week that Tony Romo, and Jessica Simpson, had split. The Dallas Cowboys quarterback arrived at Simpson’s parents’ Encino house shortly before noon today as the family prepared for Ashlee’s backyard wedding.

As Usmagazine reported on Friday, Joe Simpson personally called Romo and asked him to attend the wedding, as Jessica’s date, in order to support the family. Jessica will be Ashlee’s maid of honor.

What kind of dad calls up his daughter’s ex to “support the family”?  I mean, I’d think he would want people there who WANT to be around, not who have to be “asked”.  And what is this “support the family” biz?  It sounds like they’re preparing for a funeral, not a wedding.  Come on, Joe, it isn’t a fiscal crisis, just your knocked-up daughter’s shotgun wedding.  I’m telling you, these Simpsons just ooze class!

Makes me wonder just what sort of dirt Papa Joe has on Tony.  I don’t think Tony did this just to be nice.  You just gotta wonder if Jessica told daddy something that was supposed to be kept secret, or if she saw something she wasn’t supposed to, or if that whole incident in Vegas was more than it seemed on the surface.  Or maybe he had Tony sign one of those billion year contacts like Scientology makes you sign when you join Sea Org.  I ain’t sayin’, I’m just sayin’.

Don’t drink the punch, Tony!

Do ya think?

I said that one even before this story came out, but since it’s in the Chicago Sun-Times I guess it’s now official.  Because, you know, they have “sources” while I just have good, old-fashioned deductive reasoning.  Seems that Tony got fed up with not just dorkager extraordinaire Joe Simpson but the paparazzi horde that swarms around Jessica every time she farts rainbows:

The Cowboy apparently explained he had ”really had it” with being a constant target of the paparazzi and the celebrity press in general, and feels this particular romantic relationship was distracting him from his football career.

In addition, Romo’s friend said the talented QB has been put off by the intrusive style of Joe Simpson, who’s been ”not only telling Jessica every move to make, but now has begun to offer unsolicited advice to Tony on his career, endorsement opportunities and things that have nothing to do with him dating Jessica.”

Wait, I was wrong…the farts smell like desperation, and men can smell that a mile away, even when we think they are SBD:

Furthermore, Romo reportedly was very upset by Simpson’s interview in Glamour magazine where she referred to Romo as her ”future husband” and other on-the-record interviews she has given, saying she wants Romo to be the father to her children.

Oh yeah, that air biscuit is gonna hang around long after Jessica has cut up her pink #9 jersey in a fit of hormone-fueled tearful rage.

Desperation…the new scent by Jessica Simpson, on sale now in purse-size atomizers and gallon jugs at a fine Wal-Mart near you.

Jessica, a word of advice…ditch Daddy.  Now.  Before he sends your life and career farther down the dumper than it already is.  And, um, obvious needy is obvious.  I ain’t sayin’, I’m just sayin’.