Everyone has their own taste when it comes to music.

What may be considered music to one’s ears, may be considered simply torturous to others. Just because I feel that Michael Bolton sounds like a cat getting skinned alive, and that his music is some sort of cruel joke to all of mankind, doesn’t mean that some other tone deaf person has to agree with me.

One thing is for certain, whether it is the sweet voice of Bonnie Raitt or the overrated raspy voice of Bruce who stepped in it Springsteen… if it is played at decibels to make you feel that your ears are going to bleed and it is played over and over… it can be quite torturous no matter who it is.

Everyone is aware that the prisoners at Gitmo (Guantánamo Bay) were needlessly tortured by water boarding along with other degrading and unspeakable acts. 

One of the methods used was music played repeatedly and at ear piercing levels. The songs used and some of the artists who made that music are not too happy to say the least. How would you feel if one of your songs was used to torture someone? I am sure you would be horrified.

Well, Michael Stipe of REM, along with twenty or so other artists have aired their disgust, and have banned together and formed Close Gitmo Now.   

A little info on Gitmo first, before we get into which performers are saying Gitmo has to go.

Gitmo has held nearly 800 detainees in it’s history. An alarming majority of those detainees were never charged, nor went to trial. Only THREE of those detainees have ever been convicted of a crime.To keep Gitmo open is costing tax payers MILLIONS.

So what did the spokesman for the CIA say when it came to using music as torture?
He said nuh-uh.

George Little, a CIA spokesman said:

“music was used only for security, rather than “punitive purposes”

And in a 2005 CIA document, it stated,

“loud music or white noise was needed “to mask sound and prevent communication among detainees”

So what tunes and artists made it to the Gitmo “top 20″?

According to the National Security Archive, they used anything from the Meow Mix jingle, to the Barney theme song. They used such artists as Marylin Manson to Britney Spears. Although the Meow Mix jingle and the Barney theme song both make me cringe and is enough to drive anyone buggy, at ANY volume… I wonder if the Meow Mix or the Barney people have a problem with the fact their music was used at Gitmo? I haven’t heard anything from either of them and I have to say, if they don’t have a problem with it, then I have a problem with them.

Why would they use the Meow Mix jingle and the Barney theme if it was just “to mask sound and prevent communication among detainees”?
And why were detainees subjected to “variable light patterns” while this music was played? Is the CIA going to say they wanted to have a disco effect for the detainees? Although it really wouldn’t surprise me in the least.

If the CIA claims are true, then why didn’t they just use classical music at non dangerous levels without light patterns? The term liar liar pants on fire comes to mind.

Another little pesky factor besides the CIA not having the permission of the artists to use their music, is the fact that the artist’s music was used as an interrogation tool.

So which artists are pissed and saying close Gitmo now ?
Bonnie Raitt, Jackson Brown, REM, Pearl Jam, Roseanne Cash just to name a few.

Bonnie Raitt and Jackson Brown

Roseanne Cash recently appeared on The Daily Show with John Stewart to tell everyone about the petition they have created which people can sign at www.closegitmonow.org

The BBC recently reported:

REM call for Guantanamo closure

Rock bands including Pearl Jam and REM have joined a coalition of musicians to support the US president’s efforts to close the Guantanamo Bay prison.

The National Campaign to Close Guantanamo, which also includes former military officers, launched on Tuesday.

Many of the artists who have signed up are angry that their music was used as an interrogation tool in the jail.

But CIA spokesman George Little said music was used only for security, rather than “punitive purposes”.

In a statement, REM said: “We have spent the past 30 years supporting causes related to peace and justice. To now learn that some of our friends’ music may have been used as part of the torture tactics without their consent or knowledge, is horrific. It’s anti-American, period.”

Other artists to sign up to the coalition include Jackson Browne, Steve Earle, Roseanne Cash, Billy Bragg, Bonnie Raitt and Rage Against The Machine.

On behalf of the campaign, the National Security Archive in Washington is filing a Freedom of Information Act request seeking classified records that detail the use of loud music as an interrogation device.

‘Terrify and punish’

A report published in November 2008 by the Senate Armed Services Committee report, has already made several references to the technique.

In one case interrogators played records to “stress” a prisoner, Mohamedou Ould Slahi, who believed music was forbidden.

In 2003, he was questioned while being “exposed to variable lighting patterns” and repeated plays of a song called Let the Bodies Hit the Floor by the band Drowning Pool.

Jayne Huckerby, from New York University’s Center for Human Rights and Global Justice, said loud music was also played at clandestine prisons run by the CIA.

Following an early information request, Ms Huckerby received a CIA document dated December 2005 in which the agency explained that the use of loud music or white noise was needed “to mask sound and prevent communication among detainees”.

She argued that such sounds were not a “benign security tool,” but a way “to humiliate, terrify, punish, disorient and deprive detainees of sleep, in violation of international law”.

According to the National Security Archive, tracks by AC/DC, Britney Spears, the Bee Gees and Marilyn Manson were used at Guantanamo.

The Meow mix cat food jingle, the Barney theme song and an assortment of Sesame Street tunes also were played into detainees’ cells.

But the CIA insisted any music was played “at levels far below a live rock band”.

And Major Diana Haynie, a spokeswoman for Joint Task Force Guantanamo, said loud music has not been used with detainees since the fall of 2003.

Barack Obama pledged to close the Guantanamo detention camp by January, but Republican opposition in Congress has made fulfilling that promise look less likely.

 

So one of the reasons that Gitmo remains open is due to Republican opposition?
Although I am certianly not surprised by this…. WHY ARE THEY OPPOSED?
What reasons could the Republicans have to want to keep Gitmo going?

The NY Times stated that the estimated annual cost to operate Guantánamo Bay is anywhere from $90 million to $118 million. There are 226 detainees left at Gitmo. That is a cost of $400.000 to $520.000 per detainee. To incarcerate a prisoner in a supermax prison would be $75,000 in the US. Is anyone paying attention to this simple math? Get the facts

At a time when the US is in such an economic mess due to the carnage that was left behind by the lovely Bush administration, perhaps the millions of dollars spent on keeping Gitmo open can be used elsewhere? Ya think?

Now before our comment section turns into a shouting match between Republicans and Democrats…..
and people telling me to get my facts straight, (I only report what is out there) remember that this article is about how horrible it was to use an artist’s music to torture people AND the fact that their music was used without their consent. Not to mention what it costs to keep Gitmo going.

So if you have a comment about Close Gitmo Now or the musicians who started the petition, then that is fine. But if you want to argue about what Obama has done or not done to clean up Bush’s mess that he left behind, or the BS spin and scare tactics that the Republicans are using when it comes to the health care plan, (you know who you are, you silly teabaggers) OR if you are a Michael Bolton fan, then please go argue elsewhere. *SNICKER*

Can’t We All Just Get Along?

Rosie O’Donnel recently chatted with shock jock Howard Stern on Sirius XM Radio.

She dished about her not so fabulous relationship with her wife lately, Oprah Winfrey and Oprah’s BFF Gail. And oh yeah… that she thought her and Angelina Jolie almost hooked up once.

Was this wishful thinking on Rosie’s part? Or wishful thinking on Jolie’s part? Or just creepy Howard Stern with his usual everyday thoughts? *snicker*

First, about Oprah….
Both Rosie and Howard say they think that Oprah and BFF Gail are closer than they are letting people know.

From EOnline:

As for her thoughts on Oprah’s relationship with her BFF, Rosie and Howard think there may be some sparks.

“I don’t know that she and Gayle are necessarily doing each other,” Rosie said, “but I think they are the emotional equivalent of…”

“A gay couple,” the radio man finished.

“When they did that road trip, that’s as gay as it gets, and I don’t mean it to be an insult either,” Rosie explained. “I’m just saying, listen, if you ask me, that’s the couple.”

Doesn’t Howard imagine ALL women that have a relationship with another women of any kind in bed together? I can’t stand the man and he skeeves me out to no end. I bet his palms are always sweaty. EWWWW!

As far as Rosie thinking that Oprah and Gail are a couple? 
I just think her bringing up Oprah and Gail was ridiculous and a real yawn fest.
Although Gail would have been a BIG improvement over Stedman! (I always considered him Mr Excitement)

Don’t get me wrong, I am not defending Oprah the Scientology cult sympathizer in any way. Even though everyone is eternally grateful to Oprah for having Cruise on her show, which led to the famous career end phrase “jumping the couch”.

Hey Tom! How’s That Scientology Going For You Lately?

So if you are keeping score, I find Howard Stern, Rosie AND Oprah all repulsive. Oh yeah Cruise too. All for different reasons. And none of those reasons have anything to do with sex.

So what about Oprah’s BFF Gail? I don’t think I have EVER thought of that women before in my life in any capacity what so ever. I find her as about exciting as a fence post. Although again, she still would have been a better pick than Stedman.
FYI…when Stedman and billionaire gal pal Oprah finally ended their 21 year old fling, he received $250 mil for his “years of ridicule and you better keep your mouth shut” severance package. Wonder what Oprah’s gal pal Gail will get? *snicker*

So where does Angelina Jolie come into this picture?

Well….
Rosie told Howard that she talked to Angelina on the phone a couple of times way back when.
Ohhhhhh! That’s where she got the idea that they were going to hook up. Who could blame her? WHAT?

Some more help from EOnline… Rosie said,

“She gave me her phone number,” Rosie said. “We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that. There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through.”

Fear got the best of Rosie and she wasn’t able to seal the deal.

“I was a little afraid of her,” she said. “She’s scary in a sexual kind of way. I have dreams about her a lot still.”

Dinner plans too? WOW! Now wonder Rosie thought that there may have been a little somethin’- somethin’ going on between them.
Are you freakin’ kidding me?

First off, I have to mention, that I find Angelina Jolie ALSO repulsive, and again, it has nothing to do with who she did, who she almost did, or who she is doing now. Which of course is Brad Pitt, who I can’t stand either since he hooked up with “Angelina -Jimmy- Deana”. My nickname for her because of her huge plumped up sausage-like lips. You know…. Jimmy Dean sausage?

And secondly…. who gives a rats ass?
Really. Sounds like Rosie is doing a little “shock jocking” herself to get some attention.
And does anyone really want to hear about Rosie’s….  ahem….”wet dreams?”

I think many people think that there is no way in hell that Rosie could have scored with Jolie and that Jolie is way out of Rosie’s league. You know because everyone thinks Jolie is Ms. Wonderful and her beauty is simply breath taking? *ROLLS EYES*

But remember when Jolie kissed her brother on the lips on camera way back when? That was WAY too long of a kiss for any one’s comfort. How about her fling with Billy Bob Thorton? (ick)
I really wouldn’t have been surprised one iota if she did actually hook up with Rosie back then. Nor would I have cared. Hell, I wouldn’t care now!

But of course times have really changed now for Jolie. She thinks that when she poops it should be bottled as perfume. And I would imagine that Jolie would think that Rosie is not worthy of having scary sex time with her now. Besides, Jolie is saving it all for BRADLEY. *puke*

I think it’s moronic that Rosie thought that a few phone calls and a dinner date than never happened was some sort of prelude to jumping in the sack with Jolie or anyone for that matter.

So a word of caution people……
If you are not into Rosie that way…. I wouldn’t talk to her on the phone. And whatever you do, don’t make any dinner plans with her. Because it will obviously be perceived as steamy foreplay and undoubtedly an invitation for sexy time.

Unless of course, you want to hit that…..

Where’s The Camel Toe Police When You Need Them?

Seriously people. Has everyone lost their damn minds?
The AMA Awards (American Music Awards) recently announced the nominees for 2009, and Michael Jackson is up for FIVE awards. When I read this news, I actually thought it was some sort of spoof.

But no, Jackson was nominated for Best Artist, Best Male Artist, Best Album, Best R&B Male Artist and Best R&B Album.

I just can’t sit back and watch this stupidity unfold without asking WTF?
This may be the only time I will ever stand up for Lady Gaga.

The AMA Awards are actually based on sales and radio data from Nielsen. And for the last three years, fans were able to vote for the winners on AMA’s website.

So although Jackson’s album “Number Ones” is selling like hot cakes now,*shakes head*, it was RECORDED BACK IN 2003.
SIX YEARS AGO.
So why the HELL was it eligible for a nomination? And how is this fair to the other artists?
It’s not.

A tribute to Jackson at the AMA Awards would have been more than enough. Even although I am sick to death of ”Jackson mania” and do not understand the worship that this man is receiving. It just blows my mind that people have such short memories.

If you think the award nominations are insane, hold on to your sequined glove, because just when I thought it couldn’t possibly get any more ridiculous, I happen to see a petition online, for Michael Jackson to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. I kid you not.

Here is a snippet from the petition, and it is one of the funniest things I have read in a long time and I have bolded the parts I find most hilarious.

Dear Norwegian Nobel Committee,

We the undersigned, would like to nominate legendary performing artist and global humanitarian Michael Jackson for the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize. He was and will continue to be one of the most famous, and influential men on earth. Michael’s message for humankind has always been rooted in compassion, and kindness. He has succeeded a lifelong dedication to the well being of humanity. Moving beyond all political, social, and economic borders Michael Jackson consistently spread a positive message of global unity, healing, and love.

Wait…. I have to get off the floor, I was laughing too hard.
I know I always say this, but I swear, you can’t make this crap up.
Surprisingly, there are over 45,000 + people supporting this petition. *pinching myself*

Yes Jackson has helped some people over the years. Ok.
But the Nobel Peace Prize?
He doesn’t exactly have the best reputation. *snicker*
Remember?

Remember that tiny little court case where he showed up in his PJ’s?
You know, the one where they let him go even though the evidence was a mountain high? *grumble*

So back to the most ridiculous AMA Awards in the history of the AMA.

A truthful snipette LA Times:

Michael Jackson’s “Number Ones” will compete for favorite album in the pop/rock field against Lady Gaga’s “The Fame” and Taylor Swift’s “Fearless.”

Both of the latter have a decent shot at being represented at the upcoming Grammy Awards, but the latter won’t feature any albums from Jackson.

That’s because his “Number Ones” was released back in 2003. What’s more, the album is simply a greatest hits compilation, featuring only a pair of songs actually released this decade. Regardless of retail impact, a 2009 award show should be restricted to albums actually recorded within its recent history. At last check, Jackson has already won plenty of American Music Award trophies for the songs on “Number Ones,” including an artist of the century accolade in 2002.
A segment or two honoring Jackson would have been a better way to recognize the King of Pop’s contributions to music. The MTV Video Music Awards opened with a tribute to the star, and the 2010 Grammy Awards will surely feature some sort of Jackson memorial. Yet giving the artist posthumous awards, especially when said artist hasn’t released an album of new material since 2001, seems an unfair slight to today’s current crop of pop stars.

 

Yes! Exactly!
Thank you LA Times!

I think it is a damn shame that other artists are going up against someone that recorded an album SIX YEARS AGO, and who won’t be present to accept, because of a little minor detail that can not be rectified. What is it again? Oh yeah.. HE IS DEAD.

Further more, do people think that Jackson would have been nominated if he was still alive?
HELL NO!
Under these circumstances, and besides that other little thing about Jackson…. what was it again? Oh yes… the fact that he was an alleged child molester, who admitted on camera  to sharing his bed with young boys…
I think if he wins ANY one of these awards, it will show just how insane people really are and I may have to donate some money to NASA so they can continue working on an alternative planet for me to move to. (certainly not the moon, Jackson was already there too)

 Now you can bash me all you want in the comment section, because I know that all the Michael Jackson blind sheep without memories will be out in droves praising their fallen King.
So go ahead…bash away.

But keep in mind that these nominations for Jackson are simply NOT FAIR to the other artists, besides the fact that is beyond RIDICULOUS.

Yes the man was talented. We get it, I would never dispute that. But enough is enough!
Give the other artists the chance they deserve.

If Jackson ends up winning any awards, the best thing the Jackson estate could do, is to not accept it and pass up the award (s) to the most deserving artist. At least that would show some class.

If you were one of the artists that busted their tails to get where they are today and then lost to someone who would have not won if they were alive, whose album was recorded SIX YEARS AGO, and again that little minor detail of them being DEAD, how would you feel?
How would YOU feel if the shoe was on the other foot?
Or in this case…. the glove on the other hand?

Will Ferrell, Thomas Lennon (Lt. Jim Dangle on Reno 911), and Don Faison (Kirk from Scrubs) and a host of other celebs got together to convey their message against the super rich health care executives by starring in this Public Service Announcement (spoof video) which was listed on Funny Or Die. 

It was sponsored by MoveOn.Org which started out in 1988 as an email group and blossomed, well, more like exploded. As of 2009, MoveOn has a membership of 5.2 million, with 20 full-time and 20 part-time staffers. Not too shabby!
Wikipedia says MoveOn.Org is:

An American non-profit progressive, liberal public policy advocacy group and political action committee which has raised millions of dollars for candidates of the Democratic Party in the United States. Formed in response to the impeachment of President Bill Clinton,it has been cited in some accounts as a factor which helped propel the Democratic Party to power in the 2006 midterm elections.

This video received two million views in two days! It’s funny stuff!

Examiner.com wrote:

Celebrity PSA video about Obama’s health insurance plan gets 2 million views in 2 days.
With celebrities like Will Ferrell, John Hamm and Donald Faison opening the video with a “Something terrible is happening” chant.

“Health insurance executives are getting a bad rap,” Will Ferrell explains, dead pan.

“We need to remember who the real victims are,” Donald Faison, best known for his role in Clueless, says.

John Hamm fades into the viral video in black and white and explains: “Health insurance executives.”

A variety of stars then go on to explain in fits of sarcasm that if their little boy falls off his bike, he should pay for it himself and stop whining.

The US is in a complete tug of war over the skyrocketing health care costs and Obama’s plans to fix it. This video is a refreshing and funny look at just how wrong it is to keep padding the pockets of these health insurance companies.

I wish there were more PSA announcements that would show just how ridiculous it is to not support a total change in the health care system. 

Obama may not have all the answers right now. Hell, he has been in office for less than a year, and I am not saying everything he does will go right, but people are expecting miracles right off the bat in a very short time. They seem to have a very short memory of the mess that was left behind. The US citizens’ impatience totally boggles my mind. 

My wish is for Democrats and Republicans to ban together and fix what has been so wrong for so long.
Oh to dream…

Save Money – Live Worse, ALWAYS.

Two top stories on CNN right now feature the greatest place to buy the crappiest of crap in crapdom. Don’t get me wrong, I am forced to spend my stimulus checks at Walmart too, but I am not happy about it. Over the years, after discovering how sub-par many of the products are and how much of the merchandise comes from China (virtually 90% based on my expert analysis) I have been going to Target more and more. Plus, Target has a better level of customers. Think I am being a snob – read this:

“People of Wal-Mart,” a gag started by two 20-something brothers and their buddy to share crazy pictures with their friends, has gone viral. Promoted largely on sites like Digg and Funny or Die — and linked ad nauseam on Facebook and Twitter — the site picked up enough traffic to crash its servers on Wednesday.

“I’m still baffled — I really am,” said Andrew Kipple, 23, one of the creators of the site, who said his team was frantically working Wednesday to add enough server space to handle the surge in traffic.

Photos on the site, sent in by viewers all over the United States, frequently feature overweight people wearing tight clothes, bizarre hairstyles (with versions of the short-in-front, long-in-back “mullet” leading the pack) and fashion crimes ranging from furry leg warmers to miniskirts that leave absolutely nothing to the imagination.

So what inspired these two brothers to take their keen observation of the cultural phenomenon to the web? Hot messes of course:

Andrew and his brother Adam, 25, said they thought of the site after a visit to a South Carolina Wal-Mart where they saw a woman they believed to be a stripper, wearing an obscene T-shirt and leading a toddler in a harness. Around the next corner was a man with a beard reminiscent of the rock band ZZ Top.

“It’s kind of like the light bulb went off,” Andrew said. “We get the e-mails already from people who are like, ‘Why didn’t I think of this?’ We just happened to be fortunate enough to have the ability to actually follow through on it.”

While not every Walmart is as culturally rich in inappropriate attire and poorly executed hairstyles, the ones in the rural/and or southern parts of the country seem to attract an inordinate number of misfits. Cheap, poorly made goods in a consumer obsessed society is bound to have side effects and there’s no good reason we shouldn’t poke fun at these folks, many of whom live in very secluded little segments of this great country. Despite the internet’s ubiquity, there are still people who think a mullet, a wife beater and white socks and dress shoes is a fashion “do.”

So, VIVA WALMART!

Now, the bad Walmart News.

But wait, there’s more…

This is a perfect example of what it’s like talking to a Scientologist when they are on the defensive, which these days is like, always. I believe this man is also in the Sea Org, giving him a special designation of “crazy” for signing their billion year contract – with NO stock options.

Apparently this video was removed due to pressure from the “Church” but Gawker linked to a mirror copy. If this doesn’t give you the willies, then you are made of sterner stuff than I am. Also, I found the roadside traffic a little unnerving, I kept waiting for something disastrous to happen. You know, Scientologists are particularly “incident-prone.” Or is that “accident-prone?”

The unraveling has begun, their organization is completely obsessed with Anonymous. Nice job, faceless protesters, keep up the pressure.

Above is video of Disney’s “Hannah Montana” star Miley Cyrus performing at Fox’s 2009 Teen Choice Awards. Why yes, that is a stripper pole on an ice cream cart. Nothing says wholesome like combining skeevy strip-tease tools and child-hood sweets — it’s like a dream conjured up in the mind of perverts.

Miley’s image is a disaster for Disney and for Miley. Sure she may be worth millions now (let’s hope she invests wisely) but ask any former teen star how hard it is to transition from teen star to adult star and most would have harrowing tales to tell. Lindsay, Britney, Mischa and Vanessa Hudgens (on the heels of a more nude photos leaked) certainly could fill us all in on that challenge, and then some. It’s not impossible to do it, but you need to have a team of caring, moral and ethical people around you in order to survive with your dignity intact.

For Miley, it’s been one disaster after another. First it was the risque photos leaked to the media, then the botched Vanity Fair photo shoot, not to mention the catty YouTube videos poking fun at fellow Disney star Selena Gomez, and of course, the racial insensitivity. One would think whoever does PR for Miley might try a little harder. And this latest effort, is NOT what I would call “trying harder.”

Miley Cyrus is reviled in our home and my 9-year old daughter came to this conclusion on her own. It’s only a matter of time until Miley’s string of poor choices finally catch up with her within the entire tween demographic. It always does.

I understand that I am in a unique position from most parents, I see ALL of Miley’s missteps, and therefore I am much more astute at figuring out this young girl is a TRAINWRECK waiting to happen. Clearly, Miley and her camp are on the Britney Spears roadmap to fame: whore them out early and often. Not only does this brand Miley for the next generation of consumers, but it also helps sexualize her long before she is even fully mature. Everyone knows sex sells, and Miley’s parents and handlers are no exception.

I know I am not the only one who thinks this is both sick, perverse and twisted. Most of my fellow moms have banned Miley from their household, and the trend is growing. Isn’t it bad enough Miley has middle-aged men stalking her? You’d think that would be a wake-up call to her parents. This isn’t the norm, this is the exception. There are plenty of young, talented women who are famous, who DON’T have a negative image to overcome. These young women have managed to avoid the cliched pitfalls of Hollywood, simply because they chose a personal set of standards, modesty and dare I say,personal safety, over a fistful of dollars.

It may be a common refrain, but it bears repeating: why do we continue to sexualize our children before they have even gained enough life experience to understand their OWN sexuality?

The blame isn’t solely Miley’s, who by all accounts, is still a child. There is plenty to go around, namely her parents Tish and Billy Ray, who clearly have been blinded by the millions to be gained by pimping out their daughter at an early age. Clearly, these two are too stupid to have learned anything from the Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan fiascos — how many young girls must we trash before we change our ways?

My daughter, hardly unique in her maturity and level of sophistication, saw through the Miley machine pretty quickly. When she walks through Wal-Mart and makes gagging sounds at all the garish displays of Miley merchandise, or the revealing photos on the nightly news, it’s not hard to put it all together. This isn’t genuine, real or lasting. Miley is a fabrication of Hollywood, and while some kids may be blinded by fan worship, many others see through the ruse, and in time Miley’s facade and slick production won’t translate to her maturing fan base.

When a 9-year old says “Miley makes me uncomfortable. Why is she posing almost nude Mom?” then you KNOW something is wrong.

Makes me glad we skipped the Teen Choice Awards, I sure don’t feel ready to explain the stripper pole to my kids.

I tend to ignore people like Mischa Barton because they are so cluelessly unaware of the world’s perception of them, that it makes it a severe waste of time pointing out the obvious. Sadly, even Mischa has made herself impossible to ignore.

A bit of Mischa history. Barton was a model and sometimes actress, best known for her role on the “O.C.”, a fairly popular show going back a few years. Mischa is also known for hanging with the other Hollywood messes Lindsay Lohan, the reformed Nicole Ritchie and her herp-infected pal Paris Hilton. Even these skanks knew better than to keep hanging out with Mischa, as her life began to spiral out of control.

Many a blind item has been devoted to Barton’s coke habits, possible meth addiction and alcoholic endeavors. It seems Mischa’s successes in life revolve around her love-life — when that fails, she fails. When she dated Cisco Adler she kept herself mostly together, but since then, she’s had a string of failed relationships and her struggles to maintain stability have become quite public, including a DUI, numerous reports of drug and alcohol binges, as well as a stalled career.

In the last two weeks Mischa has been forced to come to terms with her out of control behavior, landing her Cedars Sinai Hospital under a 5150 – which is essentially a mandatory hold placed a person who is deemed a danger to themselves, or possibly others. Reports have stated that after a 3-day drug binge (possibly on cocaine) Mischa flipped out and called the police with threats of suicide.

Now, a video has surfaced of Mischa doing an interview for Handbag TV, after a recent opening at Harrod’s in London. Homegirl is a certified mess. Being an “older” person, I have some familiarity with people “under the influence” but I have never seen someone this obviously whacked out on something. Her eyes pupils are HUGE, she can’t stand still, she’s fidgeting, staring off into space and what the EFF is with her voice? Honestly, she looks TERRIBLE and this should be a huge wake-up call to Mischa and those around her.

What Was And What Should Never Be

I may be an old fuddy duddy, but where are the responsible people in these young starlets lives and why aren’t they looking out for them? Mischa’s sister Hania tried to commit suicide in 2008 and has been seen looking completely out of it also – WTF? If I had two kids that lost, I would definitely be doing something. Shame on her parents, shame on her friends, shame on her handlers.

Mischa, when you make people like Lindsay Lohan worried for you and telling you that you need help — YOU NEED HELP!

Let’s get on this already.

As if marrying the world’s angriest mother who dons rotting roadkill on her head wasn’t bad enough, he’s now traded in Kate for something, far, far worse. How is that even possible?

Most of you are probably painfully aware that Jon and Kate, of the popular TLC show, “Jon and Kate Plus 8″ have filed for divorce and are now living separate lives. Which, considering the level of bitterness and contempt these two have for each other, is clearly a good thing.

In a strange turn of events, Jon has gone from being the underdog in this story of love turned sour, to being universally despised. Despite having suffered endless ridicule and derision from Kate ranging to complaints he breathes to loudly, to being publicly dressed down for speaking up during interviews, Jon has turned a well-spring of sympathy into a chorus of eye-rolls, and tsk, tsks. Why you ask? See below:

This here is Jon’s new girlfriend, the 22-year old daughter of his wife’s plastic surgeon, Hailey Glassman, and yes, that is a mugshot. Extra CLASSY! Hailey, in her bid to become famous by hooking up with a “reality star” seems to have forgotten that the fame sword cuts both ways. Now reports have surfaced from ALL over the place about her twisted past, which includes arrests for drug possession to tales of drunken and out of control exploits. And of course, the requisite video of Hailey smoking pot has now popped up all over the internet.

Jon recently set up house in NYC, in a two-bedroom apartment, clearly not enough space to accommodate his 8 children. Then there were the photos and reports all over the tabs last week while he was in France with his new GF, supposedly in talks with Ed Hardy designer Christian Audigier about a children’s clothing line. WTF? Though reports differ about why exactly these two misfits were actually hanging out, one thing is for sure, Ed Hardy wear looks stupid on EVERYONE. More on the fracked-up match up from the LATimes:

Audigier agreed to fly Gosselin and someone named “Hailey” — described to them as his “stylist” and whom we can only guess is one and the same as current gal pal Hailey Glassman — to visit him in St. Tropez last week to talk it through.

“Christian thinks he’s a nice guy, and they both love motorcycles, so they hit it off,” the representative said. “That’s all there is to report. There isn’t anything beyond that at this time.”

In the meantime, we’re trying to digest the most recent rumors — that Jon Gosselin popped the question to Glassman on that very same trip to St. Tropez. If that turns out to be true, can you imagine a better made-for-reality-TV tableaux than Audigier as best man and the bride-to-be in an Ed Hardy wedding gown?

We hate to admit it, but even we’d tune in for that.

Cheese on Rice, how is Hailey Glassman a “stylist” and in what universe is Jon considered “stylish?” I am baffled as to how so many extraordinarily plain and boring people somehow become “celebrities” simply because they are foolish enough to allow the public into their private lives. I’ll take the fortune, you can keep the fame.

Needless to say, Kate is quite content to sit back and let Jon make a complete ass out of himself in his post-divorce mid-life crisis. Isn’t 32 a little young to be going through this whole cheesy phase? Whatever the case may be, according to Radar Online, Kate’s already designated a label for the new “lady” in Jon’s life, and as they so eloquently stated, it rhymes with “bore”.

For once, Kate and I agree on something.

The always fresh, sober and clean Amy Winehouse has returned to the scene of many of her crimes after spending a whopping 6 months on the island of St. Lucia. I’d like to say that the island air has cured her of her many debilitating addictions, but it’s a little too early to celebrate.

Wino, 25, was back in England to face assault charges and is supposed to be working on a new album. From The Sun:

The Back to Black singer flew into London from St Lucia, after a six month break, and burst into tears as soon as she hit British soil.

She looked healthier than when she left, with a clearer complexion and a light tan and, despite her red eyes, her spokesman said she was “really happy to be back and can’t wait to catch up with family and friends.”

The 25-year-old decided to return 10 days ahead of a court appearance on an assault charge,

She is accused of assaulting Sherene Flash after last September’s Berkeley Ball and will appear at Westminster Magistrates Court on July 23.

The troubled star is also set to go straight back to work on a new album amid reports that her record company, Island Records, have lost patience and rejected several newly penned songs.

The singer ditched her signature crackhive for a more subtle do, and looks cleaner and healthier than she has in a while, but don’t let that fool you. Unlike say Hollywood’s finest cokewhores Lindsay and Mischa, Wino is a REAL crackhead and has committed herself to the pipe.

If I sound harsh, it’s with good reason — tough love is needed in this case.

Amy public battle with a serious addiction to drugs has continued for almost two years now, and despite being caught on tape smoking crack, and bragging about taking other drugs, Wino’s problems persist. Don’t let the lack of grime fool you.

She has yet to pull off a decent performance. Each time she stages a mini comeback, in ends in disaster. Her parents have administered their own version of tough love, what I like to call: waiting til she dies and collecting a fat paycheck.

I will never understand how a parent could give up so quickly on their child, as Amy’s have. Say what you want about Britney Spears dad Jamie, he stepped up and took charge. Britney may hate him for his controlling ways, but no one can deny she’s kept her nose clean during this comeback tour. The man has my respect, regardless of his true intentions (re: $$$$$). Look at it this way: Britney’s two boys have their mom back, something that seemed like distant possibility just a year ago.

St. Lucia wasn’t the “clean up your act” vacation folks has hoped for Amy. She merely traded in her addiction to deadly drugs, for other addictions, like booze and pot. I am not against people having fun and getting their party on, but someone like Amy doesn’t have an off switch like most of us do. There are people out who just can’t help themselves, and Amy is a real, bona fide drug addict who has two options for her future, a ugly drug-related death or a sober-only life.

Amy is a talented woman, but this whole pursuit of the “live hard and leave a rotten corpse life” ala Keith Moon style isn’t going to secure her place in rock n’ roll history. Amy seems to live under the warped perception that only pain, delusion and heartache drives her talent. Billie Holiday is NOT impressed.

Amy, dying for your art is so last century.