I’ll admit, I haven’t watched American Idol on a regular basis since Ruben won (he was my pick).  I kind of half-heartedly watched when Fantasia won (it was too obvious), and since then I’ve given up on the show.  But even when I was tuning in, it seemed like Paula Abdul sometimes wasn’t watching the same show as the rest of us…indeed, there were times we weren’t sure just what it was she was watching.  And her own special brand of crazazy continues, when she became entirely too confused on air:

On a night when “American Idol” switched up the judges’ format by making them hold their appraisals until every contestant had a turn, Abdul offered feedback Tuesday for two songs by Jason Castro — except that he’d only sung one.

Unlike the usual format, in which each “Idol” performance is judged immediately, Abdul, Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell were made to take notes, then offer individual critiques in rapid succession at the end of each round. The reason, Seacrest explained, was because “this show is so tight.”

So after each of the final five contestants sang one Neil Diamond song, Jackson zipped through his appraisals, offering a few terse words for each before kicking it to a visibly flustered Abdul.

“Oh gosh, we’ve never had to write these things down … fast enough,” she began, shuffling through her notecards. “Jason, first song, I loved hearing your lower register, which we never really hear, um … .”

And that’s where it started going off the rails.

“The second song, I felt like your usual charm wasn’t — it was missing for me. It kind of left me a little empty.”

Indeed.

All six people on stage, including Seacrest, stared blankly (except Syesha Mercado, who wore the furrowed brow of mystification).

“The two songs,” she continued, “made me feel like you’re not fighting hard enough to get into the top four.”

After a smattering of nervous crowd laughter, Jackson finally broke the tension.

“That was just on the first song,” he said sheepishly, pointing up to Castro. “Just on the first one.”

Simon Cowell closed his eyes and shook his head, and began to guffaw as Abdul’s confusion mounted.

“Oh my god, I thought you — I thought you sang twice!” she said.

She explained that she got confused by looking ahead at the notes for David Cook. […]

Even Cowell gathered himself to help patch up the moment, patting Abdul on the shoulder and asking, as if to speed things along, “Paula, who was your favorite?”

Her reply: Cook (the same contestant whose performance she supposedly noted as having left her “empty”). […]

Abdul told “Entertainment Tonight” after the show that she was thrown for a loop when producers apprised the judges of the change “in the dark” at the last minute.

“This was officially the strangest show we’ve ever done,” Cowell said at the conclusion of the telecast, “but I like that. It’s kind of a bit chaotic tonight.”

Hmm.  Okay, I can understand being flustered when somebody changes up the format on you at the last minute, but come on…aren’t these people supposed to be professionals?  Don’t they have experience in television?  Aren’t there producers, directors, people to make sure hosts do what they are supposed to do?  This isn’t Paula’s first season on AI, it isn’t like she’s never done this before.  It isn’t too hard to watch and know whether or not people sing one song or two.  And she had Randy to pave the way for her, all she had to do was listen to him and imitate what he did.  Is it just me, or are there entirely too many “odd” events that happen to Paula?

Randy and Simon didn’t seem to have problems with the new format, but I guess Paula did.  Oh well, just add it to the list of Very Weird Events in the career of Paula Abdul.

Sorry for the short notice.

We are super-excited to announce there will be a special segment of Glosslip Radio today at 3:00pm EST. Eric Olsen, publisher of Blogcritics.org will be co-hosting with me today to interview country singing sensation and American Idol Season 3 (in ‘04) runner-up Diana DeGarmo live today on BlogTalkRadio.com. Diana will be on the show to promote her involvement in a worthy cause, and if Glosslip is about anything, it’s worthy causes. Here’s more on what Diana’s up to:

We are very excited to be helping CMT One Country, the pro-social initiative for the cable network CMT, promote Global Youth Service Day. CMT One Country and Youth Service America have joined forces for the second year in a row to help motivate youth in America to participate in Global Youth Service Day on April 25- 27, the largest volunteering event in the world. Recording artist Diana DeGarmo of CMT’s GONE COUNTRY, will be the honorary spokesperson for Global Youth Service Day, speaking publicly on behalf of the event on radio, television and print opportunities. Events kick-off Friday, April 25 and run through Sunday, April 27.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SHOW:

CALL IN NUMBER: 646-478-0139

You know, before I saw the above video of “American Idol” hopeful Danny Noriega I already didn’t like him. Not because he’s a total flaming fruitcake of nonsense, because hey, it takes all kinds to make up the rainbow of life. Nope what I didn’t like about Danny, besides the fact he’s way prettier than I am, is that he’s such a little snotbag sh*t.

The way he rolls his eyes, pours it on for the camera, oozes pettiness and hostility, it’s all the things about today’s teenagers that I despise. His angst is completely insincere. We get it Danny, you are here, you’re queer, you want us to get used to it.

You aren’t the first gay teenager America’s ever seen. You aren’t even the first gay American Idol we’ve ever seen (Hello? Clay Aiken anyone?). Clearly, regardless of the opportunity you’ve been given to perform on the most watched singing talent show in the world, you are obviously pissed off about something in your life. Despite the fact, you are talented, attractive, charismatic and live in a world where you can be as openly “out” there as you want and for the most part, people accept you, you still can’t seem to spare us the drama and immaturity of your flippant insolence.

Also, how dare you crap on Santa and Christmas? This shows me how overly indulgent your parents must have been. They clearly should have spanked you more.

Danny, if you were my son, I’d wash your filthy mouth out with soap. Then I’d put a pretty little pink bow in your hair, some pick lipstick on your pouty little mouth and send you to your room.

Huh?

It wasn’t Brit-At-The-VMA’s level, but it certainly wasn’t all that exciting.  Where was the crazazy?

You could barely hear her singing (and it isn’t my TV, I have the Surround Sound going).  I couldn’t understand any of the lyrics except “Dance like there’s no tomorrow!”  You could tell she was lip-synching (I realize she wouldn’t be singing live, but she could have faked it better).  The dancing was energetic but dull.  And I was just waiting on that microphone stand to hit her in the head.

Plus, what was dancing peepaw Randy Jackson doing?  He was totally doing the white boy dance!  Come on, dawg, put your back into it!

Can’t wait to hear what Simon has to say about it.

Two words:  Bo ring.

Okay, back to my hot wings.  At least they got some spice to them.

UPDATE:  In contrast, Alicia Keys is totally bringin’ it!

Paula Abdul hasn’t performed (unless you call her blubbering and awkward giggling on American Idol a performance) for over a decade, yet for some inexplicable reason ($$$$) the organizers of the Super Bowl have decided to offer Paula a chance to perform for the much coveted half-time show.

The same half-time show performers like Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson (remember them? boob flash anyone) Paul McCartney, and Prince have performed at in recent years. Yes, it’s a totally natural progression to go from Prince to Paula Abdul. Why not? If we can have Britney headline the VMA’s, why not have Paula ruin, er perform at the Super Bowl.

It wouldn’t be so bad if Paula were performing/lipsyncing her well-produced hits like “Straight Up,” “Forever Your Girl,” “Cold-Hearted Snake,” or “Rush Rush” for that matter. But no, just like all crazy and self-inflated artist-types, she’s going to play a new song which a. no one knows and b.) no one wants to hear, rather than a hit that would have people dancing in mutual recognition and nostalgic camaraderie.

TMZ has a clip of the new single, “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow” which sounds like a watered down, less than stellar version of a Nelly Furtado song, and was produced by none other than her AI co-host/judge Randy Jackson. To add to the nepotism and Hollywood circle jerk, Ryan Seacrest played a clip of the single on his show. You can hear it here.

I do not understand why music artists refuse to play what audiences want to hear. When I go see Van Morrison I want to hear “Brown-Eyed Girl” not some obscure single he did with the Chieftains back in 1988. No offense to The Chieftains.

Excuse my ire, I’m having a little episode. Paging Dr. Phil, Dr. Phil we need you stat!

There was a time when Paula Adbul was the craziest person in Hollywood. That special time is over and her brand of pill-popping crazy has been eclipsed by the spectacularly unhinged Britney Spears.

But, hey, who couldn’t use a little palate cleanser about right now? I need something to wash out the taste of stale cigarettes, sugary Frappuccinos and Adderal from my mouth.

So, just in time for Fox’s American Idol’s new season, which premiers Jan.15 & 16, we have word our little Paula had full-scale Chernobyl-style meltdown at LAX recently. Here’s the report from the brilliant Radar Online:

Paula Abdul, the braying, oft-drunk judge of landmark cultural institution American Idol, caused quite the scene at LAX over the holidays, according to a source. Says a tipster who saw her in the Continental Airlines terminal: “She had an insane nervous breakdown that lasted 10 minutes. One minute she was hyperventilating and on the verge of passing out; the next she was yelling into her cell phone in this deep, rage-filled Poltergeist voice. She kept screaming three names over and over—Michael, Sidney, and Leslie. Everyone was staring at her, but she didn’t care.”

I have to tell you something. When you bring out the “Poltergeist voice” and you aren’t talking to your kids about why there’s human feces all over their bedroom wall, then you have some REAL problems. Although my voice is a more “Excorcist voice” and has been known to cause stirrings in the bowels of Satan himself, but whatevs, get your crazy on Paula.

And if you are the Michael, Sidney and Leslie in question, you better hope your health insurance is paid up, because all that’s left at this point are the reports of your broken and mutilated bodies being found in some ditch somewhere. DO NOT MESS WITH THE CRAZIES!

Trouble is striking our young female celebrities from the A-List to the D-List. As the nation is gripped with the latest crisis to strike popstar Britney Spears, it would be easy to forget a troubled runner-up on America’s favorite pastime, Fox’s American Idol.

Jessica Sierra, a contestant on Season Four of AI is no stranger to trouble with the law. Sierra’s first brush with the law occurred at a Florida bar when she got into an argument with a fellow patron and threw a glass at his head, which required stitches. While being processed, police found cocaine in Jessica’s purse and she was then charged with possession. Jessica had been placed on a year-long probation in that case, and was already signed up for a reality series hosted by Dr. Drew Pinsky (of Lovelines fame) called Celebrity Rehab for none other than, Vh1.

Within two weeks of being placed on probation, Jessica once again found herself in trouble back in Florida. This time she was thrown out of a club for being drunken and disorderly only to try and fight her way back in. Police were called, and the now infamous encounter occurred which she not only struck a police officer, but vomited in their cruiser and offered sex in exchange for them freeing her, as well as, hurling some ethnic slurs. Needless to say, this did not sit well with the judge and Jessica has been sitting in a Florida jail since her Dec. 1 arrest.

During her incarceration a couple other pieces of bad news have popped up, including Jessica revealing she is pregnant, as well as, a sex tape has been made public. Honestly, it’s kind of hard not to feel sorry for someone when they have this much going against them. Her father, Joseph Sierra summed it up pretty well:

“She’s in jail and she’s pregnant, you know. What else can go wrong?”

Fortunately, there is at least one person in Jessica’s corner, Dr. Drew Pinsky. Dr. Pinksy, the host and mentor for those booked on his new celeb reality show, flew to Florida to testify and plead on behalf of Jessica for the judge to allow her to be sent to an extended stay in rehab over what would be a difficult jail sentence while pregnant. The judge in the case, Daniel Perry, reluctantly agreed, though with a cautionary warning:

“I don’t want her getting interviewed. I don’t want her on TV. I’m over that,” Judge Perry also issued Jessica a direct warning, “Either you finish it on your first try or you are going to prison. Stay out of Ybor City.”

Judge Perry also extended her probation to three years to begin after her year-long rehab stint. Sheesh, let’s hope she shapes up for the sake of her baby.

So much news to cover and so little time to cover it. So, in the interest of the space-time continuum, here’s a little round up for you from the Celeb Weekend Blotter.

Britney Spears never fails to entertain, or disappoint for that matter. This past weekend, the ratted-weave mistress of the fame-induced psychosis had an impromptu birthday celebration while attending a private party at the Scandinavian Style Mansion Saturday night. Britney, who turned 26 at the stroke of midnight was attending an event hosted by Sharon Stone to help promote Scandinavian brands. What, like Ikea? I love that store!

Brit, accompanied by her ubiquitous pals Alli Sims and Osama “Sam” Lufti, was presented with a small cake and they all sang to the disheveled pop star who was enjoying all the attention. That is, until PARIS HILTON showed up. Paris, never one to make a quiet entrance took all her clothes off and stood there hogging all the paps fawning, picture snapping. No, she didn’t but I bet you weren’t shocked to read that were you? So, the big story here is Britney, turned a private party into her own birthday bash and then, showing a tremendously amount of magnanimity allowed Paris to party with her later at the Four Seasons until the wee hours of Sunday, despite stealing Brit’s thunder.

Baby steps people. Now that Brit’s 26, perhaps she will start exhibiting the maturity level of a 4-year old? Her first acquired skill: sharing. Oh, and did we mention Brit had the boys the next day? Nothing like violating that 12-hour drinking ban the court order. A hung-over Mommy is better than no Mommy. I guess. (oh and maybe it’s just me, but Brit looks like a sped student in that top pic)

But wait, there’s more…

Remember Kelli Pickler? She a contestant on American Idol and people were drawn to her because of her sweet southern girl charm. Kelli’s daddy was in prison and her biological mother gave her up when she was just two-years-old. She was raised mostly by her grandparents in North Carolina. She really does come across as sweet and appealing.

Ryan Seacrest used to poke fun at her “naivete” while she was a contestant on AI Season 5. I had always assumed her “dumb” hillbilly shtick was just that, a shtick, but apparently she is either perfected it for comedic effect, or is kind of dumb.

That said, my first guess was that Budapest was the capital of Czech Republic, but somehow I knew that wasn’t right, because then what would that make Prague? Anyways, just in case y’all didn’t know, Europe is NOT a country and Budapest is NOT the capital of France, which is a country. But you guys already knew that. Sadly, Kelli didn’t.

Courtesy of Perez Hilton who “pooped his pants three or four times, unexpectedly, unwillingly, unhappily and so traumatically that he remembers each instance to this day.”

I know this is kind of old news, in a way, but there are a few new things I’ve discovered which shed light on Britney, her performance at the VMA’s, and her life in general, that I thought might help piece together the puzzle.

Before the VMA’s, Britney Spears and Criss Angel were seen everywhere together.  Eating cozy meals, coming out of restaurants, driving in cars, going into hotel rooms, staying in hotel rooms…and staying…and staying….well, you get the idea.  The air was rife with rumors of Criss and Britney, sittin’ in a tree…or maybe that was just the stench of Paris Hilton for Men and Curious.  Then, suddenly, the night of the performance, he was nowhere to be found, and hasn’t been seen with the Britster since.  Well, Criss decided to clear the air about Britney, himself, and that disastrous VMA performance:

“We were supposed to do a creation of stuff that we worked on and it took a lot of dedication and work to do the things that we wanted to do,” Criss, on the set of his new NBC series Phenomenon, recalls exclusively to OK! about Britney’s planned VMA performance. “Unfortunately for me, she didn’t really want to put forth that type of effort.”

Criss, who has also been romantically linked to stars Cameron Diaz and Minnie Driver tells OK! that he just wanted what was best for Britney. “Basically I said, ‘Don’t worry about me. Do what you want to do. This is a big opportunity for you to do the VMAs, so if you don’t feel it, go with something else.’ And she chose to go with something else.”

As for reports that their backstage differences had ruined their friendship, Criss tells OK!, “We’re still friends and everything’s cool.”

Which is of course why he hasn’t been seen with Britney since.

But in doing some digging for this post, I found a few tidbits about Brit’s weekend in Vegas that surprised me.  They came from Robin Leach’s Vegas Luxe Life website, and shed some interesting light on Brit and her lifestyle.

But wait, there’s more…