I apologize to GlossLip readers (and to poor Dawn, who was forced to cover in my absence)…I had a bit of a family thing last week.  But, as they say, I’m baaaaaaaaack…and it’s nice to see things haven’t changed in the wide weird world of entertainment.  For example, Amy Winehouse’s father is once again talking to the media, chronicling his daughter’s recent attempts to clean up her act:

“She’s covered in nicotine patches,” Mitch told Radio 5 Live today.

“The only thing that can go into her lungs are fresh air. She faces a stark choice - either she sticks to it or she won’t sing again.

“She’s eating like a horse - she’s 16 pounds heavier than the last time she was in hospital.

“There will be a decision on whether she can sing at Glastonbury.

“She understands she has to change. All she wants to do now is to sing,” he added.

This comes on the heels of the news that Amy has emphysema:

Yesterday Mitch told of how his world-famous daughter could be forced to wear a permanent oxygen mask to survive if she doesn’t follow medical advice.

“To think this could be my beautiful 24-year-old daughter’s life is preposterous. But if drugs mean more to her than breathing properly, then so be it.

“But the doctors have told her if she goes back to smoking drugs it won’t just ruin her voice, it will kill her,” he said.

Winehouse collapsed at her North London home last week and was taken for tests at a London hospital by her father.

And daddy Mitch has some strong words for Amy’s friends pals mates leeches:

“I’m saying to those drug dealers, and they know who they are, if they are supplying crack to Amy, then they’ve got to take responsibility. I don’t want her hanging out with her mates like Pete Doherty either,” he said.

Finally, hubby Blake Incarcerated-Druggie once again has some conflicting words for Amy (considering he’s alternately been seen blowing kisses to a blonde, wanting to divorce Amy, and offering to stand by her):

He revealed that the singer’s 26-year-old husband Blake Fielder-Civil – who is awaiting sentence after pleading guilty to GBH and conspiring to pervert justice -  has vowed to come off drugs and has been calling her every day “to help her stay strong”.

“Blake apologised to me for getting Amy into drugs and says he’s going to try and put it right.

“Blake was clean when I saw him but he’s told me he wants to go into rehab. We’ve organised it so that as soon as he’s out, that happens.

“He wants to go from zero to hero. It’s very hard for him being in prison, but at least he’s been trying,” he said.

From reading the article, it seems that Amy is still in the hospital, being observed by nurses 24 hours a day.  That’s great…quite frankly, that’s what needed to happen to Amy months ago, perhaps even a year or more ago.  For all this talk of her doing an outpatient program to try and kick her drug habit, I personally think that approach won’t work…doing it that way puts her too much in the “real world” and around her druggie enabling friends.

Personally, I think she needs to go away…away to a drug and alcohol rehab center far from London and the temptations found there.  She needs to get in an intensive treatment program and step out of the spotlight for a good, long while.  Talking about concert dates and such should be completely stopped,  because her career is second to getting her health back and the drug lifestyle gone.  Once she gets totally clean and sober, then she can resume performing, but right now 100% of her attention needs to be on getting clean and getting well.

I have asthma and I know the difficulties any sort of breathing problem can cause in one’s life.  I wish Amy all the best.  But her family is going to have to step it up if they hope to save her.

Amy Winehouse needs to stop already with the over-the-top, up-in-my-grill drama. I just can’t keep up — this is summer folks, unlike these crazy toofless crackheads, I have a life to lead.

So on to what our favorite whackadoodle’s been up to. It seems Amy’s delinquent hubby Blaaaaaaaaakkkkkkeeeee (who’s in jail on charges of ‘gross bodily harm’ and then subsequent attempted witness bribery charges) took some rather risque photos and videos prior to his incarceration of he and wifey Amy and those videos/photos were “stolen” by a “friend” and are now in the hands of my all-time favorite news site News Of The World. From the article:

As the camera pans back we see a coffee table in front of Amy. On it are SIX cigarette lighters and what appears to be HEROIN on a foil—a typical druggie scene set for “chasing the dragon” by heating the drug from below then inhaling the smoke through a tube.

This new evidence comes as Britain’s top cop Sir Ian Blair has called for celebrity junkies caught on camera to be put on trial.

He spoke out after police let off a string of big names filmed apparently snorting cocaine, injecting heroin or smoking crack.

Sir Ian said: “My position is that a sensible jury would not expect people to be sniffing talcum powder.”

One of the new dossier of Amy pictures shows her in a smart flat surrounded by all the familiar junkie paraphernalia.

On a table in front of the snarling star is a home-made crack pipe fashioned from a small brown bottle. Silver foil—used for heating deadly rocks of crack cocaine—is strewn about. Amy, who has a worrying history of self-harm, is clearly seen with a mystery cut on her left hand.

A further section of video, shot in the bamboo-papered den, reveals the disturbing relationship Amy and Blake have.

Oh, the sad, rich, irony of it all. Perhaps the worst of all this footage is that of Amy and a friend singing a lovely diddy (after Blake egged them on and promised to not be taping them) with every manner of racial slur, and then there’s video of Amy in a drug den surrounded by all sort of drugs (as described in the above quote,) plus NOTW alleges to owning video of Amy performing oral sex on Blake, as well as, an rather uninspired hand-related sexual act on Blake — all of course videotaped. I am not sure who’s more depraved, Blake for doing it, or Amy for putting herself in that position.

If you wish to torment yourself, the videos and pictures can be found here.

In other Blake/Amy news, reports have come out that Blake has pleaded guilty to the charges pending against him for beating up a bartender and then attempting to bribe the witness to change his testimony. Blake faces up to ten years, and will be sentenced at a different hearing. Oh man, can this story get any more perverse and sad?

Amy truly is not long for this world unless someone who gives a crap about her steps in. I read reports that her label has quietly backed out of any future dealings with her, and honestly, who can blame them? At some point, the responsibility to get your shizzle together is yours and yours alone.

Amy, it’s been fun while it lasted, too bad you chose the obvious road for doomed artists rather than the one less traveled road. If only you’d a wait a couple more years, you too could join the ‘27′ club with all the other idiots who destroyed their talent AND their lives before reaching the rip old age of 30.

Seriously.  I didn’t think that was Amy until I read the article.

On the heels of a disastrous performance in Portugal, where she showed up an hour late for her set and stumbled and slurred her way through her songs, Amy Winehouse turned up at her husband’s hearing to offer support:

The troubled star sat in the front row of the public gallery as Snaresbrook Crown Court, east London, and smiled lovingly at Blake Fielder-Civil, who smiled back at her from the dock. [...]

When the judge, David Radford, was giving his ruling on a point of legal argument, she looked at her husband and inclined her head questioningly towards the judge.

She was led into court by an usher, and sat alone in the front row of the gallery, twice moving to different seats. [...]

Winehouse left the court after 80 minutes, with legal arguments still continuing.

Outside the court, she was asked: “How’s Blake looking?” She replied: “As gorgeous as f ***. You seen him before?”

Uh, yeah, we’ve seen him.  Not sure that the description applies, but whatever teases your beehive.

Not only did Amy show up with skin that would make a perfect “before” example for a skin cream, but onstage in Portugal she showed off what the UK press calls a “love bite” (read: hickey) on her neck, under her chin.  I can’t tell but I assume it was still there when she went to the hearing, since they don’t go away that fast (especially one that size).  Now that, right there, spells class and sophistication.  Wonder if she’ll be able to pass it off as a curling iron burn?  She looked well turned-out earlier in the day, she must have cried or sweated some of her makeup off.

Here’s the deal…Amy is on her way down.  She’s taking her talents and smoking them away.  Her record company (read: pimp daddies) will squeeze every last bit of money they can out of her, and then they’ll drop her so fast she won’t know what happened.  It’s happened before with bigger stars than Amy, and if she thinks it won’t happen to her then she’s more deluded than we think.

Between the hickey, the scabby skin, the cut-up arms, the zoned-out performances, and the dirty fingertips…does she think we’re that stupid?  The drugs are only making her fool herself, the rest of us (who aren’t busy loving her to death) can see what is going on.

She can still pull herself away from the abyss, I think she can do it, but she’s got to want to do it for herself and nobody else and for no other reason than she wants to be clean.  Plus, the scabby skin worries me…I’m sure it has to do with the drugs she continues to pump into her body, but people with cutting problems often will pick at existing sores until they become worse than they started out.  I sincerely hope she can get it together and go away to rehab for a long time…but it’ll take a miracle at this point.  I’m not here to make fun of her, I want her to get help.  She needs it.

After showing up one hour late (likely trying to sober up) Amy apologized to the crowd of 90,000 fans at the Rock in Rio concert in Portugal on Friday.

This video from the concert represents all that’s wrong with Amy. She’s destroyed her voice with drugs, her mind is addled and gone, her dancing is embarrassing and the light that used to shine from within has almost completely gone out. She is a shadow of her former self, and is now the butt of all jokes.

I can’t even make fun of her anymore, she’s beyond hope and clearly no one is going to step in and save this girl.

How they let her on stage in that condition is beyond me, but someone’s responsible and should be ashamed of themselves for allowing to Amy to perform in such a terrible state.

Depressing.

I know I am not going to do an Amy Winehouse story any justice, but k’s busy solving world hunger and such, so I will give it my best shot. According to reports, that crazy British crackhead Amy Winehouse is taking her weave on the road to Israel in hopes of finding a cure for her own special brand of crazy.

The Sun is reporting on Amy’s latest efforts to clean up her act:

AMY WINEHOUSE will fly to Israel in a bid to beat her drug addiction, according to the chairman of the country’s Anti-Drug Authority.

Eliezer Cohen says the Ivor Novello Award winning singer will undergo a “very short, intensive and effective treatment” costing 6,400.

He told the Jewish Chronicle: “Amy’s people spoke to a renowned Israeli institution and an Israeli professor who conducts a very special and effective method.

�She has requested to come to him to do this method, since it’s a method that is suitable for her.”

Andre Waismann, who will treat Amy, said: “All of my patients are discharged healthy and no longer dependent.

There is a misunderstanding about drug addiction. People think it is a social and psychological problem, but it’s a neurological problem.

Whether it’s Amy Winehouse or anyone else, it is a privilege to be able to treat anyone who is opiate-dependent, and allow them to live a normal life.”

Amy was celebrating her Ivor win last night – despite turning up halfway through the ceremony and missing the presentation.

There’s no misunderstanding about drug addiction in Amy’s case. She surrounds herself with enablers and yes-people who will happily supply her with all the drugs she wants to feed her addiction, in exchange for being able to glom on to her “glamorous lifestyle.” Unlike in Britney Spears case, where her father seized upon the opportunity to take the necessary steps to help his daughter, clearly Amy’s dad Mitch has ZERO control or influence over his daughter, and ultimately refuses to do the hard things required to keep her from destroying her life. I fully understand she’s an adult, but a parent does whatever they can to keep their child from harm’s way, even a crazy, whackadoodle like Amy Winehouse.

To show you just how far gone Amy’s mentality is, she gave up an opportunity to do the theme song for the next James Bond film with producer/writer/DJ extraordinaire Mark Ronson (whose sister Samantha, also a DJ, is smooching Lindsay Lohan these days — see right). Rumor has it the project is now going to Beyonce WHO is not a crackhead, but isn’t even 1/10 as talented as Amy.

Nothing pisses me off more than a tremendously talented artist who wastes their gifts by doing drugs. Please Amy, get your crap in one bag already, if Britney Spears can get it together, so can you!

Yes, here we have media darling and all-around classy broad Amy Winehouse, looking grateful for her privileged life and fan support as she picked up some bouquets of flowers outside her home.  They were placed there by admirers to help celebrate she and Blake’s first anniversary.

Blake, however, could not mark the special day with his beloved (at least, not with Amy).  He’s too busy sacrificing himself for true love.  After all, nothing says “I want to be together forever” like beating a guy up and spending your wedding anniversary in the hoosegow.

24-year-old Amy celebrated by going to watch Pete Doherty play in a celebrity soccer tournament for charity.  Oh, and later she totally got hammered and wandered the streets eating fish-n-chips and hollering for “BLAAAAAAAAKE!”  Yeah, so I totally made that last part up.  But with the Amy news lately, I guarantee you I’m not far off the mark.

(I know.  It all just writes itself, doesn’t it?)

UPDATE:  Looky here…it’s just after midnight ET, and see what I found?  My crystal ball was right again (or was it just my common sense):

Troubled singer Amy Winehouse marked her first wedding anniversary to Blake Fielder-Civil with a lonely fish and chip supper after visiting her husband in prison.

I read this last night, but I was so infuriated by the news that I had to wait until today to write about it.  It seems that even though having continual evidence flaunted in their faces, and even though they have her on video smoking crack, police have decided NOT to press any drug charges against Amy Winehouse, who promptly went out on the town to celebrate with fellow junkie Pete Doherty:

Singer Amy, who is supposed to be writing songs with Pete, was no doubt keen to celebrate, after being splashed across a tabloid newspaper in pictures which appeared to show her smoking crack cocaine from a makeshift pipe on January 22, she has escaped charge..

She was also shown apparently snorting Ecstasy and cocaine and admitting taking six Valium tablets.

The newspaper passed video footage of the episode to the Metropolitan Police. [...]

Police said last night that Winehouse, 24, will not face charges over video footage which appeared to show her smoking crack cocaine.

She was arrested last week and questioned about the film for nine hours, but police today confirmed that no action would be taken against her.

The Crown Prosecution Service said: “The footage did not establish whether the substances were illegal drugs and, in the absence of any forensic opportunity or reliable evidence from a witness, we could not establish to the high proof required in a criminal court that they were controlled drugs.”

A statement from Miss Winehouse’s spokesman read: “She was questioned by police last week and released on unconditional bail.

“They have now concluded their inquiries and no charges will be brought.

“Amy is pleased to be able to move on and concentrate on music and particularly looks forward to seeing her fans again at eagerly awaited festival performances this summer.”

I can totally understand.  I have a bubble pipe that looks exactly like Amy’s crack pipe.  People are constantly getting them confused and they are surprised when I start blowing bubbles instead of smoke.  I love bubbles!

But wait, there’s more…

Was it as far back as January that the infamous Crack Amy video was released?  It seems that the authorities in the UK have been laboriously poring over the footage since then, desperately searching for any clues which might show that Amy was doing drugs, and they found enough tenuous evidence to bring her in on charges.  She had an appointment at a police station where she was arrested:

The arrest is a result of a video of the 24-yearold star that became public in January.

In the 19-minute film she is seen smoking crack cocaine and talking about taking Valium while appearing dazed and disorientated.

The star was originally questioned under caution in February and was due to return for further interview in June.

That date was then brought forward and she was asked to go to Limehouse police station in East London yesterday.

This is the latest in a series of incidents between Miss Winehouse and the police.

The Grammy Award winner went voluntarily to Holborn police station just ten days ago to answer charges of common assault.

She was arrested for allegedly attacking a man while on a drunken night out in Camden.

So let’s see…in the past ten days, she’s been arrested twice, once for assault and once for Class A drugs, and they let her out on bail?  While in the meantime her husband rots away in jail (where he’s been since November) for beating up a guy who was going to testify against him and then trying to pay him off?  He’s a notorious druggie and they didn’t even bust him on drugs charges!

The nineteen-minute vid, which showed Amy Winehouse lighting up and talking about drugs, was on a memory stick on which there had been a deleted video of Peaches Geldof buying drugs.  Police were able to use a program to recover the deleted information.  (Welcome to the twentieth century, guys…I’ve used a program that I found for free which does the same thing.)

The police released her on bail and she was out again last night, with the beehive on and a scarf with a “Blake” pin attached to it wrapped around her head.  Of course, it was just a couple of days ago that she had that same scarf wrapped around her breasts in a makeshift bikini top.  But hey, what’s a little  boob sweat between friends?  She was talking to the paps and discussing getting a new tattoo.  Because that’s just what she needs…more body ink.  I say this time she gets a tramp stamp with an arrow that says, “If found, please return to owner.”

It remains to be seen whether they can make these charges against Amy stick.  You know, since they have such a lack of real evidence that she even does drugs.  I’ll bet this all turns out to be a big misunderstanding…she drank too much Mountain Dew, she was on a sugar rush and caffeine high, they’ll all have a big laugh about it, and everyone will walk away happy.

Can’t the UK get anything right concerning these stars and their drug habits?

Serial druggie Pete Doherty was released from prison after serving a pittance of his original sentence, waving a piece of paper saying that he passed his drug test while locked up:

But Pete Doherty’s precious piece of paper proved only that he had passed a drugs test while in prison.

He seemed delighted to have it as he left just 29 days into a 14-week sentence, declaring he wanted to “keep it together and work on my music”.

The 29-year-old singer, who has been repeatedly arrested in possession of crack cocaine and heroin, was finally jailed last month for breaching his probation.

But yet again the law smiled on Doherty by setting him free early.

He emerged from Wormwood Scrubs in West London at 7.10am yesterday in a suit, tie, what appeared to be rosary beads and surprisingly shiny shoes.

Smoking a cigarette, he said he was looking forward to having a drink and seeing his pet cats.

Don’t let him near those animals…he gives them drugs!

So let’s get this right…he was supposed to serve over three months, and he ended up being in for fourteen days?  Who does this guy know?

Seriously…what is up with the courts over there in the Old Country?  Every time I turn around, people like Pete and Amy Winehouse are committing crimes like buying and taking drugs and headbutting people, yet they get let off with a slap on the wrist and a finger-waggle and a “No no no” from the authorities.  This guy has been arrested multiple times for drugs, yet they keep letting him go.  Even after he promises that he’s going to do better and get clean, he still relapses and they still slap him on the wrist and they still let him go.

He and Amy both need to go away for about a year and get totally clean and sober.  Of course, with the leniency of the court system over there, what’s the motivation?  They know they aren’t really going to be punished, so why bother?

Yet…Blake Incarcerated-Druggie beats up a guy and is STILL in jail, where he has been since November.  Yes, he deserves to be punished…yes, he threatened a guy with more beatdowns…yes, he offered the guy money if he’d shut up and go away…yes, Blake is a drug addict.  But is he any worse of a drug addict than Pete?  Is what he’s done that much worse than Pete continually flaunting the legal system in Britain by constantly and flagrantly taking drugs and violating his probation?

I’m definitely no fan of Blake, but the hypocrisy of the UK court system is astonishing.  Pete will probably put his certificate in a nice glass frame and then hoover up a line off it.

And according to sometimes pal Mark Ronson, she is no longer recording any music, because she isn’t fit to work (cue my shocked face):

The singer has been recording with Mark in his studios in Henley, Oxforshire, but the plug has now been well and truly pulled on the project.

The pair fell out amid Amy saying the song was “rubbish” and Mark cancelling the sessions, claiming she is not fit to record music.

Mark, who confirmed the split yesterday, told The Sun: “We did work on it but we never finished it. I don’t think it will happen unless by some miracle it gets recorded and someone sings on it.

“I’m not sure Amy is ready to work on music yet.”

Well, I’m sure there is no shortage of famous musicians who are queuing up to record the theme to Quantum Of Solace.  Of course, I couldn’t care less…the Bond franchise is dead to me after what they did to Pierce.  You hear me?  Dead to me!  Dead, I tell you!

Okay, anyway.  I don’t have the space (or the patience) to link to every article we’ve done concerning Amy’s woes, so please check out our full coverage here.