Angelina Jolie had to confirm that yes, it’s twins, after co-star Jack Black “accidentally” spilled the organically grown beans…and then other co-star Dustin Hoffman “accidentally” let slip her due date:

First, Jolie’s Kung Fu Panda costar Jack Black spilled the beans and confirmed that Jolie and partner Brad Pitt are expecting twins. Now fellow costar Dustin Hoffman has revealed her due date!

The big day? Today show reporter Natalie Morales revealed on Thursday’s program that Hoffman told her the babies were due Aug. 19.

The new arrivals will be the fifth and sixth children for the Jolie and Pitt. The family currently consists of Maddox, 6, Pax, 4, Zahara, 3, and Shiloh, who turns 2 this month.

Accidentally my foot.  She probably promised to adopt both Dustin and Jack if they’d help “accidentally” leak the news.

Angelina says that she doesnt feel like “most women” when it comes to pregnancy…you know, because she’s so much better and more spiritually in tune with herself than us regular folk:

“I’m very happy,” said Jolie, 33, according to Today. “Unlike most women, I love being pregnant. [It makes] you feel like more like a woman than you’ve ever felt. You just feel like everything about your body is there for your baby.”

During the on-air interview, Jolie said that she would “possibly” stay in France for the births, and that she and Pitt preferred not to disclose the sex of the babies.

Hey, I didn’t mind being pregnant.  Pregnancy was actually very nice, despite being sick all the time.  And getting that way was fun, but the baby-coming-out part…well, not so much.  “Unlike most women”?  You mean, like those of us who don’t have the money to travel to a new country every month and who are forced to keep their children in one place until they are grown, thus providing a sense of security and stability and continunity in their young lives?

I’ve taken a lot of stick from people who say I hate on Brangelina or that I’m jealous somehow of them and their life.  Let me say…whatever.  I’m not hating on them for having a bunch of kids or for having a bunch of money or for traveling the world.  But she has shown time and again that she is a bit obsessive when it comes to this particular area of her life and that while she professes to love her kids, she has no idea what terms like “stability” mean.  I know people with lots of kids (five or more) who totally make it work, and who had children for the right reasons, and I know people with lots of kids who are not making it work and who had kids for the wrong reasons, and I believe Angelina is adding to her family for the wrong reasons.

But despite saying after Shiloh was born that she would find a spot, stay home and raise the kids, she’s been off trotting the globe making movies.  She’s dragged those kids all over the world, instead of keeping them in one place to give them structure and continuity in their lives.  Poor little Maddox had to quit his school in NYC after Angelina decided to uproot the family once again.  And even though she’s pregnant with what will make her fifth and sixth children, she’s not ruled out adding to the brood.

Look, I have no doubt that she loves her children.  But much like animal hoarding, this obsessive preoccupation with “saving” children and hoarding as many as she can isn’t about care, but control.  Angelina seems to have well-documented control issues, and this manifests itself in her everyday life and this need to adopt children.  Once the children get older, I’ll be interested to see just how well they like their globetrotting lifestyle then.  Her lifestyle is not child-centered, but adult-centered, and the children just happen to live in it.

I’m NOT against adoption, but if she’s that set on adopting then there are babies right here in the USA who need homes.  Or would she not be able to swoop in and take them away as easily here?

Beautiful control freak.  She may love her kids, but love alone isn’t enough.

Regardless, I wish her a safe pregnancy and healthy babies.  I’m not a total jerk, y’know.

UPDATE:  CRAP CRAP CRAP.  Why did he have to turn out to be a Scientologist???  I am seriously ticked off.

I suppose I need to do a search every time I write a story about a celeb to see if they belong to the CoS or not.

However, I won’t delete the article because the essence of it is truth.

YES!  A celebrity who isn’t accepting money for shots of their baby.  Usher, who posed for FREE with his son for the upcoming cover of Essence magazine, said there’s no way he’d pimp out his kid for cash:

FINALLY, there’s one celebrity who refuses to cash in on parenthood by selling baby pictures to a magazine. “In no way would I ever pimp out my child for money,” Usher told Page Six.

The pop singer - upset by rumors he was trying to sell photos of his infant son, Usher Raymond V, and eager to defend his wife, Tameka, and his upcoming album, “Here I Stand” - wants to set the record straight.

“I am livid that people talk about my child,” Usher told us. In fact, he has posed - for free - with his son for an “incredible” Father’s Day cover for Essence magazine.

“What makes you a man more than being a father to your child? I recognize I gave anonymity away when I became an artist, but to have people try to paint a horrible picture of what’s so beautiful - it’s obvious someone is trying to stop something so beautiful.”

Now there is a celebrity who’s ideas I can totally get behind.  What he said about anonymity is so true…Usher chose this lifestyle, as so many celebs do, but their kids don’t choose it.  Seriously, he could teach people like Jennifer Lopez and Christina Aguilera and Nicole Richie and Denise Richards and all the other so-called “stars” who whore out their kids for dough a thing or two.

And true…even though Brangelina donated the money they got for the pics of Shiloh to charity (and probably will do the same with shots of the pending baby), the offer of money was still made and they still took it.  Donating the money isn’t wrong…being offered millions of dollars for a shot of a BABY is wrong.  What makes these magazine editors think that a shot of a celeb baby is more important than shots of any other baby in the world, that they have to offer millions of dollars for it?

Oh yeah, the gullibility of the public to swallow any pablum they decide to shove at us and to feed the egos of the celebrities.  What was I thinkin’?

Well, it seems Brad’s boys were up to the task, as Angie is once again with child. Though the couple has not made an official statement confirming they are pregnant, suffice it to say, the proverbial cat is out of the bag. There are other rumors she’s having twins.

Remind me to NOT drink the water in Hollywood. Seriously, are they growing a damn celeb army or something?

Here’s the handsome couple at the 2008 Film Independent’s Spirit Awards from earlier today. More pics after the jump.

But wait, there’s more…

Whoever was in charge of scheduling this little party might find him/herself out of a job on Sunday, if the Battle Of The Century erupts on Saturday.  Yes, Hollywood’s weirdest triangle–Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, and Jennifer Aniston–is fixing to converge in one spot for one night only:

Angie and baby-daddy Brad Pitt are on the host committee of The Night Before—a charity event held the evening prior to the Academy Awards—but Brad’s ex-wife, Aniston, is also a hostesses with the mostest. If all parties show it cold be the climax to a colossal confrontation that began three years ago when Brad left Jen in 2005 claiming it had nothing to do with Mr. & Mrs. Smith co-star, spent the next several months denying he had any relationship with his Mr. & Mrs. Smith co-star, then proceeded to publicly, kiss, cuddle and raise half the world’s children with his Mr. & Mrs. Smith co-star. The two women have yet to meet since—yummy!

Well, well, well.  I wonder just how many Rolaids ol’ Brad has consumed since learning of this little date on his calendar.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not on Team Aniston, Team Jolie, or Team Pitt.  I think they’re all overpaid, narcissistic, self-important blowhards.  Between Angelina’s compulsion to adopt more children than most people give birth to in a lifetime (and apparently producing more of her own biological ones as well) and her conviction that she’s the only one who can save the world, Brad’s wishy-washy approach to life, marriage, his ex-wife, and his commitment vows, and Jennifer’s inability to move on already from a two-timing, lying, hit-with-the-ugly-stick loser (and I’m not talking about Vince Vaughn), they could all disappear into the background and I wouldn’t cry.

But wait…the Battle Of The Century may not happen after all:

The annual pre-Oscars party is being held this year on Saturday, February 23, at the pool at the Beverly Hills Hotel, and three of the event’s hosts are none other than Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston. The event planner tells PageSix.com that all of the hosts have committed to hosting the fundraiser. However, don’t get too excited for the girls to finally throw down over Brad because Jen’s rep tells PageSix.com that she might not be able to attend.

Although her rep confirmed that Jen, who is currently filming Traveling in Vancouver, is on the host committee, the former Friends star “doesn’t know if her production schedule will allow her to attend.” Looks like we will have to wait and see what Jen — sorry, what her production schedule — decides.

Oh, come on, Jennifer.  You’ve played the “poor jilted woman” long enough.  You stay in a mindset, you start to believe it.  Stop wasting your time pining after a man who thought so little of your relationship that he succumbed to She Who Must Not Be Named’s magic vajayjay.  And if you really want a child bad enough, there are many children waiting to be adopted who would love a good home.

And Brad/Angelina?  Yeah.  Stop with the kids, already.  You have enough now.  Whatever Angelina is attempting to bandaid, she needs to work out some other way besides amassing a brood of children.  Oh, and tell Angelina she needs to stay home and actually take care of those kids.  But who am I?  I believe that if a celeb has a kid, they need to drop out of sight for eighteen years.

Not that it would be such a bad thing in this case.

Angelina Jolie is in Baghdad today. Normally when you think “breath of fresh air” you don’t think of Baghdad, but after being oversaturated by Britney 24/7 (because she’s always awake, dontcha know), someone doing something good somewhere counts as a breath of fresh air in my book.Angie, sans Brad and the brood, is in Iraq to shed light on the refugee situation in the war-torn country. She is there to see firsthand, the plight of the around 2 million “very very vulnerable” people in Iraq. According to UN numbers, 58 percent of those are under the age of 12. None are being chased by paparazzi. None are hanging out at Starbucks, or going to the drugstore at 3am. Almost all of them, I’d be willing to bet, would welcome a stay in a mental ward. Or a nice clean room somewhere, anywhere but there.

We’ve all been sucked into the chaos that is Britney, and I’d go as far as to say that Brit, her bad weave, and even worse choices of boyfriends, has been a welcome distraction from things like Iraq. Or the upcoming election. Or the mortgage crisis. Or the recession.

Thankfully, Angelina is here to remind us to that people in different parts of the world have more important things to think about than what crazy stunt Britney is going to pull today, or who’s in rehab now. Of course, even with such an admirable humanitarian agenda, she couldn’t fully escape the Hollywood rumor mill, since CNN’s Arwa Damon did ask about the baby rumors. True to form, Angie replied “Oh don’t. Stop it. Stay true to your tradition. You’re CNN. Don’t do it!”

Granted, war and refugees are not the most pleasant things to think about, but after two straight weeks of all Britney all the time, it is, at least for me, a welcome change — a breath of fresh air.

Above post submitted by guest poster “B”

Brad Pitt, the irrepressible do-gooder, was recently interviewed by CNN’s resident dinosaur, Larry King. Brad was discussing his recent humanitarian efforts in the 9th Ward of New Orleans. He is heading up a group which will be building 150 homes in the area after it was devastated by Hurricane Katrina in 2005.

Larry, who strikes me as more than a little senile, snuck in a zinger on Brad, when he asked a question about Brad getting emotionally involved with current girlfriend Angelina Jolie, while he was still married to ex-wife Jennifer Aniston. Above is video of the interview, including his snappy response to Larry. My question is, how stupid does Brad Pitt think we are?

Real, real stupid I guess.

Globe-trotting Angelina Jolie has gone to the corners of the world to highlight the plight of people in impoverished areas.  Just recently her travels took her to Western Sudan, just a stone’s throw away from her adopted daughter Zahara’s homeland of Ethiopia…and her natural mother.

What’s that, you say?  You thought little Zahara was an AIDS orphan, who’s mother died of the disease?  Well, think again, because her mother is alive in Ethiopia, and she is a bit puzzled as to why the world was told that she was dead:

The Mail on Sunday has discovered that not only is Zahara’s mother, Mentewab Dawit Lebiso, alive and well, but that the man who arranged Zahara’s adoption has been waging a campaign of threats and intimidation against her family.

When rumours surfaced last week in America that all was not as it appeared with the paperwork, the American headquarters of the international adoption agency Wide Horizons For Children initially insisted that Zahara’s mother was dead. And yet in Ethiopia, the man who brought Zahara to the agency knows Mentewab is alive and has been attempting to shut her up.

To make a long story short, Zahara was the product of an attack and rape in 2004, while her birth mother Mentewab was living at her grandmother’s house.  Her family disowned her when her pregnancy became obvious, and after the baby was born Mentewab and her mother lived with her uncle in a small, three-room hut with mud floors.  Times were tough as the young mother struggled to work while her mother looked after the baby.

Finally, things came to a head when the uncle asked them to move out.  Faced with a financial crisis and no food to feed her crying baby, in desperation and fear the young mother ran away and left the baby behind.  The grandmother had no money and helplessly watched as the baby got thinner and thinner.  Finally, after she became convinced the baby was near death’s door, she took her to the Kebele (the local council), told them her daughter had ran away, and asked them to please take the baby before she died.  She had to bring three witnesses to prove that the mother did in fact run away, and they all signed papers stating so.

A local man, Girma Degu, whom the grandmother had already been introduced to, agreed to take the baby to an orphanage.  He also agreed to bring her back for a visit, to send photos of her progress, and to introduce the grandmother to the family who would adopt the baby.  He followed through on none of these promises, and later when he told the grandmother that the baby had been adopted he warned her not to say anything to the journalists who would be coming around, other than to lie and say Zahara was not her granddaughter.

But wait, there’s more…

Jimmy Choos?  Manolo Blahniks?  Christian Louboutins?  Doesn’t matter.  They’re shoes.  Their sole purpose (pardon the pun) is to keep your feet off the hard ground, and (if you’re lucky) to keep your tootsies comfy.

Yet, even paying a zillion dollars for a pair of shoes won’t keep you from stepping in something you shouldn’t.

Yes, that’s Angelina Jolie with Brad Pitt at the London premiere of Beowulf.  And yes, that’s gum on her shoe.  Did it dry there?  Did they ruin the heel trying to scrape it off?

And this is why I wear crocs.

In an interview with Cosmo magazine (UK edition) actress and humanitarian Angelina Jolie goes on the defensive about her “bad girl” reputation.

Angelina Jolie is stunned by her man-eating reputation, insisting she has only ever slept with four men. The star claims she has only had sex with current partner Brad Pitt, former husbands Billy-Bob Thornton and Johnny Lee Miller and one other nameless man.

She tells Britain’s Cosmopolitan magazine, “It was never true. I had only slept with four men in my life - and I married two of them.”

While some may question the veracity of these statements, I choose to take them at face-value. But only if you do the math.

Statistics show that most people deflate the number of people they’ve slept with by a factor of 4, so that means she’s really slept with 16 men. But you also need to factor into the equation that people in Hollywood lie at a rate of 50%. Which in simpler terms, means they lie 50% of the time. So if we split the difference with Angelina and assume that this time she might be telling the truth, that means there is a 25% chance she is lying and so we must multiply the 16 men she’s slept with by .25%, which brings the number up to 20. Plus, there’s the additional factor that in Hollywood everyone’s slept with everyone, so for every one person you’ve slept with, you’ve really slept with approximately 500.

To further complicate matters, we must take into account Angelina’s past history of falsehoods and her pattern of truth-telling. Angelina claims to have not begun a relationship with Brad Pitt until he ended his marriage with Jennifer Aniston. But recently, Brad Pitt revealed that he went to Jennifer Aniston while the two were still a couple and asked her how she wanted to handle his “outside influence” with Angelina Jolie. While I am no relationship expert, I think it’s safe to assume that Brad was well aware of his attraction and compatibility with Angelina Jolie well before announcing to his wife of four years that he wanted out of his marriage so he could pursue a new relationship with Angelina.

Of course, this means that Angie and Brad were at an intimate enough level in their relationship for Brad to know he was no longer in love with his wife, and was in fact in love with Angie. In summary, Angie lied about having begun a relationship with Brad BEFORE he had ended his then current relationship with wife Jennifer Aniston.

Assuming you are still with me in all this complicated abstract algebra, what we know must resort to some very intense mathmatic theorems and so you will have to excuse me for a moment whilst I work this up on my chalkboard.

Ok, so if you multiply 20 by 10 and take the squareroot of that number which is then multiplied by a factor 50, carry the 4 and then divide that by 7…………

A ha, I have figure for you: 10000.

Yes that seems about right, Angelina Jolie has actually slept with 10,000 men, give or take a couple (this isn’t an exact science here folks). Wow, somehow that number seems spot on and just about what I’d expect out of the most beautiful, kind-hearted slut in the world.

Sweet mother of mercy, Angelina Jolie isn’t just a she-devil in the sack, she’s also a money-grubbing hellcat.

According to an article in the New York Daily News, Angelina was overheard speaking to a ‘tall, muscular male’ about her and her partner, Brad Pitt’s, divergent financial viewpoints. A source claims to have heard Ms. Jolie say the following while enjoying a glass of wine at the bar of the Waldorf Astoria in New York on Sept. 5:

“I won’t talk to Brad about this because you know how he is financially, which is stupid,” she said. “Someone has to make the big decisions, though. He’ll put money into things — but it’s bizarre! It doesn’t always make sense to me.”

“The reality is, we’re not a company together. Things should be separate. I think you know I make my own financial decisions. Brad knows there are times he should just be quiet and look pretty.”

And so what can you say about that? Brad’s never been known for being a “real man of genius.” In fact, some might call him a dim-bulb. I for one, applaud Angelina’s heartless, cold and calculating scheming. Why should the father of her adopted children and a sometimes sperm donor be privvy to the financial empire she is planning to build without his knowledge. I mean, you heard Angie, Brad’s ‘finacially stupid.’

I mean other than making close to $175 million dollars in the last twelve years, clearly the guys a real money loser. Especially when you compare it to Angelina’s $59 million. I mean I can see her concern, particularly when you think about how she spends her cash:

“Save one-third, live on one-third and give away one-third.”

According to my calculations that means she’s worth about $17 million. And what of Brad’s investments and spending habits? Hmmm…his production company Plan B (the one he started with ex-wife Jennifer Aniston) produced Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, with the film grossing $473 million worldwide. Not bad for a day’s work. But then again, he also produced A Mighty Heart and allowed Angelina to play the lead instead of ex-wife Aniston, who was slated for the role, and that only grossed $9 million in the US. So, I can see what Angelina’s saying about Brad and him putting “money into things - but it’s bizarre.”

Clearly, Angie is the money wizard in this team, and by wizard I mean opportunistic beeyotch.