According to an article on Yahoo News, serial baby-adopter and homewrecker, Angelina Jolie has checked into a hospital in Nice, France to give birth to her twins. Angie, and partner Brad, already have four children, Maddox, 6, Pax, 4, Zahara, 3, Shiloh, 2.

A spokesperson for the hospital claims Angie’s admittance to the maternity wing of the hospital was planned.

Since this is a still developing story, stay tuned for a full-eclipse of the sun and multiple rainbows to break out around the world as a indication that Angie and Brad have added two little bundles to their growing brood.

Good luck Angie, we here at Glosslip hope you and your babies are healthy and well. We also hope you are close to filling that gaping void in your life and the karmic hole you created by breaking up a marriage, so that perhaps now you will finally have enough distractions from your internal guilt to be at peace.

Why yes, I did say that. Ok, let the Brangeloonies loose!

I wonder if she turned to Benji before she left the house and asked, “Honey, do I look fat in this?”

Could it be?  No…surely not!  Life couldn’t be that cruel…right?  Right?  We haven’t seen Paris for a while and she never does anything without a reason…so…?

Hey…ain’t sayin’, just sayin’.

Angelina Jolie had to confirm that yes, it’s twins, after co-star Jack Black “accidentally” spilled the organically grown beans…and then other co-star Dustin Hoffman “accidentally” let slip her due date:

First, Jolie’s Kung Fu Panda costar Jack Black spilled the beans and confirmed that Jolie and partner Brad Pitt are expecting twins. Now fellow costar Dustin Hoffman has revealed her due date!

The big day? Today show reporter Natalie Morales revealed on Thursday’s program that Hoffman told her the babies were due Aug. 19.

The new arrivals will be the fifth and sixth children for the Jolie and Pitt. The family currently consists of Maddox, 6, Pax, 4, Zahara, 3, and Shiloh, who turns 2 this month.

Accidentally my foot.  She probably promised to adopt both Dustin and Jack if they’d help “accidentally” leak the news.

Angelina says that she doesnt feel like “most women” when it comes to pregnancy…you know, because she’s so much better and more spiritually in tune with herself than us regular folk:

“I’m very happy,” said Jolie, 33, according to Today. “Unlike most women, I love being pregnant. [It makes] you feel like more like a woman than you’ve ever felt. You just feel like everything about your body is there for your baby.”

During the on-air interview, Jolie said that she would “possibly” stay in France for the births, and that she and Pitt preferred not to disclose the sex of the babies.

Hey, I didn’t mind being pregnant.  Pregnancy was actually very nice, despite being sick all the time.  And getting that way was fun, but the baby-coming-out part…well, not so much.  “Unlike most women”?  You mean, like those of us who don’t have the money to travel to a new country every month and who are forced to keep their children in one place until they are grown, thus providing a sense of security and stability and continunity in their young lives?

I’ve taken a lot of stick from people who say I hate on Brangelina or that I’m jealous somehow of them and their life.  Let me say…whatever.  I’m not hating on them for having a bunch of kids or for having a bunch of money or for traveling the world.  But she has shown time and again that she is a bit obsessive when it comes to this particular area of her life and that while she professes to love her kids, she has no idea what terms like “stability” mean.  I know people with lots of kids (five or more) who totally make it work, and who had children for the right reasons, and I know people with lots of kids who are not making it work and who had kids for the wrong reasons, and I believe Angelina is adding to her family for the wrong reasons.

But despite saying after Shiloh was born that she would find a spot, stay home and raise the kids, she’s been off trotting the globe making movies.  She’s dragged those kids all over the world, instead of keeping them in one place to give them structure and continuity in their lives.  Poor little Maddox had to quit his school in NYC after Angelina decided to uproot the family once again.  And even though she’s pregnant with what will make her fifth and sixth children, she’s not ruled out adding to the brood.

Look, I have no doubt that she loves her children.  But much like animal hoarding, this obsessive preoccupation with “saving” children and hoarding as many as she can isn’t about care, but control.  Angelina seems to have well-documented control issues, and this manifests itself in her everyday life and this need to adopt children.  Once the children get older, I’ll be interested to see just how well they like their globetrotting lifestyle then.  Her lifestyle is not child-centered, but adult-centered, and the children just happen to live in it.

I’m NOT against adoption, but if she’s that set on adopting then there are babies right here in the USA who need homes.  Or would she not be able to swoop in and take them away as easily here?

Beautiful control freak.  She may love her kids, but love alone isn’t enough.

Regardless, I wish her a safe pregnancy and healthy babies.  I’m not a total jerk, y’know.

Here we see Katie Holmes, husband Tom Cruise, and daughter Suri at David Beckham’s soccer game on Saturday.  They were there with Tom’s daughter Isabella and the three Beckham boys.

I ain’t sayin’, I’m just sayin’.

Time to take a break from the CoS. Glosslip reported Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum (Ashlee Simpson and Fall Out Boy bassist, Pete Wentz) are not only engaged, but also pregnant. We expressed both our disgust at the poor example they are setting for their fans (it’s not like birth control isn’t available in Hollywood) and the fact that they are disgusting attention whores.

Apparently, since her appearance in SNL, when she showed her lip-sync skills were lacking, Ashlee has spent her time getting knocked up, not working on her vocals.

Don’t shoot the messenger, I’m just keepin’ it real.

Sorry there’s been a bit of lag in celeb reporting lately…I took Good Friday off and then, over the weekend, the flu hit.  I managed to avoid it for almost the whole flu season, but it finally found me.  I’m still a bit shaky and wobbly and icky and bedheaded and feverish, but I’ll try to get some new stuff up for your reading and voyeuristic pleasure.  Keep watching, it’ll be between periods of laying in bed and moaning. </shameless plea for sympathy>

So speaking of beds, moaning, and nasty viruses that turn your body into a disease-riddled shell of its former self…the annulment of Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon’s marriage came through:

The marriage was annulled on grounds of fraud. Initially, when Pam filed legal papers back in December, she was asking for a straight divorce. But on February 22, documents were filed asking for an annulment, citing fraud.

Sources tell TMZ both Rick and Pam privately stipulated to fraud — that Pam promised Rick they would have children together. As we reported, Pam was pregnant at the time the couple separated. Shortly after the separation, we learned Pam was no longer pregnant. Subsequently both Rick and Pam filed annulment papers.

Oh yeah, those famous disappearing babies of Pam’s.  As I recall, she tried this with Kid Rock, too…calling him when she was in Canada filming Blonde and Blonder with Denise Richards (boycott!) saying she was having a miscarriage, and when he skipped his basketball game (floor seats for the Lakers, mind you) and rushed to be at her side, she was partying without a care in the world.

And I love the way they say she was “no longer pregnant”.  So, was she never pregnant to start with, or was she pregnant and made a little visit to a clinic?  I’m voting for the former, although the latter wouldn’t surprise me.  Hey, Pam, you can count to fourteen, right?  And Rick…they’re called condoms, use ‘em.

You gotta love Hollywood.  An annulment.  It’s like it never happened…except for those of us in the blogosphere.  We do not forget.  Expect us.

(oh wait, that’s a completely different category)

 

Jamie Lynn Spears (not dad Jamie nor mom Lynne…seriously, don’t they have baby books down there in Louisiana?) has completed another step of her education (she already passed Sex Ed) and passed her GED:

The 16-year-old pregnant star of Zoey 101 was seen studying for the exam last month and has expressed interest in attending Louisiana State University.

“I haven’t thought anything about what I might study,” she has said. “I’ll have to look more into that. But if I went anywhere, I think it would be fun to go to LSU.”

Hey, y’all, can you get me a dorm room with a nursery?  Because there’s this baby…

Oh wait, she’s going to give the baby to her mom to raise.  Becuase her mom did such a good job with her and her sister, don’t you know.

And it seems she’s having some, um, issues with being pregnant:

Various internet news websites report that the Zoey 101 star is in serious denial about her delicate state and, rather worryingly, is also having severe body-image issues.

Jamie Lynn’s state of mind is said to have got so bad, her mother, Lynne, supposedly jetted across the country to be by her side after Jamie screamed at her down the phone, saying: “I’m not pregnant!”

So far gone is Spears’ denial, she’s said to be “trying to go about her life as she always did,” says an insider. “She still hangs out until late at night and eats junk food.” [...]

The craziest and lamest tidbit of all has to be the claim that a friend supposedly joked at a party that he liked Jamie Lynn’s “sexy new curves” - ’twas a compliment that sent Spears into a spin as she snapped back, “Shut up!”

Star magazine reports that Spears then turned to a female companion and said, “I hate my body!”

“Jamie Lynn is having severe body image issues,” adds the insider. “For the past few years, she’s been this cute little TV star. Now she sees herself ballooning - and she can’t handle it.”

Um…HELLO?  Welcome to reality, Jamie Lynn.  This is what happens when little girls try to grow up too fast.  Unfortunately, it seems (from everything I’ve read) that she’s not quite ready for motherhood, since it’s been said she’s basically handing off the baby to her mother once it is born.  Gotta resume the fun life!

Seriously, I applaud her on getting her GED (which, I think, is more than her sister has…correct me if I’m wrong).  But it’s clear she still has the mindset of a typical 16-year-old.  I’m not saying at all that you can’t be a single mom and go to college (lots of women have successfully done it, and without the money that Jamie Lynn has to hire nannies and support and pay for tuition without having to work too).  But I am saying that she will have a baby, and I hope she doesn’t just dump Little Jamie Junior off on meemaw and run off to party.  It seems that she just doesn’t realize how much of a life-changing event having a baby can be…of course, she is only sixteen, which unfortunately is old enough to have adult sex but too young to comprehend the consequences.

Time to pay the piper.  But I’m sure she can do that with the millions she’ll get from the exclusive baby photo deal I’m sure her so-called mother has in the works.

Well, it seems Brad’s boys were up to the task, as Angie is once again with child. Though the couple has not made an official statement confirming they are pregnant, suffice it to say, the proverbial cat is out of the bag. There are other rumors she’s having twins.

Remind me to NOT drink the water in Hollywood. Seriously, are they growing a damn celeb army or something?

Here’s the handsome couple at the 2008 Film Independent’s Spirit Awards from earlier today. More pics after the jump.

But wait, there’s more…

Or at least the photographic representations of them.

News today is that JLo has finally checked into that suite at North Shore University Hospital (you know, the suite specially outfitted for her, with a brown leather couch and furnishings untouched by the blood or amniotic fluid of the little people otherwise known as the “non-famous”) to deliver her babies, widely reported to be twins, and it seems that staffers on that floor are all in a tizzy because, well, it’s JLo, and apparently she used to be somebody.

“Sources” also say that she’s sold the first public photos of the little tykes for $6M, to be split between People and OK!, who will distribute the pics in their international magazines.  And finally, the babes will snooze in style in nurseries which cost over $120K to outfit in high style, including chandeliers and 18-karat trim.  In three homes, nonetheless.

Okay, I gotta stop.  Huh?  First of all, what makes Jennifer Lopez so special that she gets a special, unsullied room and nobody else is allowed to touch it?  It’s a hospital, I’m sure they clean the delivery rooms extremely well between birthings.  Had the room been used even the day before, I’m sure it would have been sanitized in time for Jennifer’s arrival.  Yeah, the argument could be made that a room needed to be kept ready for whenever she went into labor, and I’m sure there needs to be things taken into account such as security measures and privacy.  But still…she couldn’t use the room as it was, it had to be specially outfitted just for her?  She’ll be in the standard issue hospital bed anyway, I don’t see what difference it makes.  And I’m sure they have more than one room which could have accommodated her.  What makes JLo and her babies so much more special than any other mother who comes in to give birth?  And will she change her mind and have a silent birth after all?

And all that money, for nurseries for babies who’s eyes can’t even focus properly?  What is that about?  I’m not against having nice things, but why not donate some of that money to mothers who NEED it?  Last time I checked, babies eat, sleep, and poop…sometimes all at once, many times not in a neat and orderly fashion.  What does any baby need with nurseries that have gold trim and chandeliers?  Sounds more to me like indulging the egos of the parents.  I wish I could be a little fly on the wall (yeah, like she’d allow a fly) when those babies spit up or get runny diapers all over their expensive sheets.  I’m not trying to be mean, just pointing out that babies will poop on anything, from $116 organic blankets to $5 polarfleece from Wal-Mart.  And no matter the price of the materials, baby poopy stains, stinks, and generally makes a mess.

And lastly…$6M for baby photos?  Of what?  Little wrinkly babies?  Let’s face it, newborns pretty much look the same.  They may have different color skin depending on their ethnicity, but they’re usually wrinkled little monkey-looking things.  Hey, I’ve had two babies, and while I thought they were the most beautiful babies in the world (and they were…I dare JLo to produce babies as beautiful as mine), the truth is that they were also little wrinkly, red-faced, slobbering lumps.  You know why?  Because they’re BABIES.  This practice of doling out small fortunes to celebs who are already full of themselves just for some baby snapshots is the most greedy, ridiculous thing I’ve seen yet (and I’m not just talking about JLo and Marc here).

Can’t Marc Anthony do something with her?  He’s never said anything (he’s probably too scared) but I’d hope he’d be embarrassed by his wife’s ostentationess.

But, having said all that, I do wish her a good delivery and healthy babies.  I just wish she’d grow up and live in the real world, not Jenniferland.

I’ll personally give $100 of my hard-earned money (and to me, that’s a huge amount) to the charity of choice of any celebrity who will come out of their house to greet the assembled paparazzi throng (behind a gate or fence, of course), ask if they’d like to see the baby, and then bring out Junior for photos.  They can stand at a reasonable distance for a few minutes (again, probably behind a gate or fence…gotta have a barrier between the paps and the baby), and then go inside.  Or they can snap a picture of Little Missy, print off a bunch of snapshot-sized prints, and go hand them to the press outside.  No big money, no huge fanfare, and it wouldn’t look like they’re greedily selling their kids for cash that they don’t need anyway.

I’ll start holding my breath now.

 

Just when I do a post saying that Brit seems to be more together than in recent months, she goes and pulls something like this.  From flashing her nethers to the bad weave, it was vintage Britney when she went out for sushi last night.

But here’s my question…is the bump under her tight dress due to home cookin’?  Or…home cookin’ of a different kind?

What do you think?  Bad posture…weird camera angle…strange shadow…or bump?  She was toting around her ciggies last night, but then she’s never let a little thing like a possible (or definite) fetus stop her from that.

I don’t know.  The past several days she’s been photographed in jeans, which is what I would wear if I were at the beginning of my cycle.  It’s only been the past day or two that she’s been pictured in dresses, minus underwears.  So maybe it’s nothing more than gas.  I only mention it because of the custody hearing today, and the undisputed fact that the last thing Britney needs right now is to be pregnant.

There’s a hearing in the custody case later today.  We’ll keep you posted if there’s any news.