Well, it seems Brad’s boys were up to the task, as Angie is once again with child. Though the couple has not made an official statement confirming they are pregnant, suffice it to say, the proverbial cat is out of the bag. There are other rumors she’s having twins.

Remind me to NOT drink the water in Hollywood. Seriously, are they growing a damn celeb army or something?

Here’s the handsome couple at the 2008 Film Independent’s Spirit Awards from earlier today. More pics after the jump.

But wait, there’s more…

Or at least the photographic representations of them.

News today is that JLo has finally checked into that suite at North Shore University Hospital (you know, the suite specially outfitted for her, with a brown leather couch and furnishings untouched by the blood or amniotic fluid of the little people otherwise known as the “non-famous”) to deliver her babies, widely reported to be twins, and it seems that staffers on that floor are all in a tizzy because, well, it’s JLo, and apparently she used to be somebody.

“Sources” also say that she’s sold the first public photos of the little tykes for $6M, to be split between People and OK!, who will distribute the pics in their international magazines.  And finally, the babes will snooze in style in nurseries which cost over $120K to outfit in high style, including chandeliers and 18-karat trim.  In three homes, nonetheless.

Okay, I gotta stop.  Huh?  First of all, what makes Jennifer Lopez so special that she gets a special, unsullied room and nobody else is allowed to touch it?  It’s a hospital, I’m sure they clean the delivery rooms extremely well between birthings.  Had the room been used even the day before, I’m sure it would have been sanitized in time for Jennifer’s arrival.  Yeah, the argument could be made that a room needed to be kept ready for whenever she went into labor, and I’m sure there needs to be things taken into account such as security measures and privacy.  But still…she couldn’t use the room as it was, it had to be specially outfitted just for her?  She’ll be in the standard issue hospital bed anyway, I don’t see what difference it makes.  And I’m sure they have more than one room which could have accommodated her.  What makes JLo and her babies so much more special than any other mother who comes in to give birth?  And will she change her mind and have a silent birth after all?

And all that money, for nurseries for babies who’s eyes can’t even focus properly?  What is that about?  I’m not against having nice things, but why not donate some of that money to mothers who NEED it?  Last time I checked, babies eat, sleep, and poop…sometimes all at once, many times not in a neat and orderly fashion.  What does any baby need with nurseries that have gold trim and chandeliers?  Sounds more to me like indulging the egos of the parents.  I wish I could be a little fly on the wall (yeah, like she’d allow a fly) when those babies spit up or get runny diapers all over their expensive sheets.  I’m not trying to be mean, just pointing out that babies will poop on anything, from $116 organic blankets to $5 polarfleece from Wal-Mart.  And no matter the price of the materials, baby poopy stains, stinks, and generally makes a mess.

And lastly…$6M for baby photos?  Of what?  Little wrinkly babies?  Let’s face it, newborns pretty much look the same.  They may have different color skin depending on their ethnicity, but they’re usually wrinkled little monkey-looking things.  Hey, I’ve had two babies, and while I thought they were the most beautiful babies in the world (and they were…I dare JLo to produce babies as beautiful as mine), the truth is that they were also little wrinkly, red-faced, slobbering lumps.  You know why?  Because they’re BABIES.  This practice of doling out small fortunes to celebs who are already full of themselves just for some baby snapshots is the most greedy, ridiculous thing I’ve seen yet (and I’m not just talking about JLo and Marc here).

Can’t Marc Anthony do something with her?  He’s never said anything (he’s probably too scared) but I’d hope he’d be embarrassed by his wife’s ostentationess.

But, having said all that, I do wish her a good delivery and healthy babies.  I just wish she’d grow up and live in the real world, not Jenniferland.

I’ll personally give $100 of my hard-earned money (and to me, that’s a huge amount) to the charity of choice of any celebrity who will come out of their house to greet the assembled paparazzi throng (behind a gate or fence, of course), ask if they’d like to see the baby, and then bring out Junior for photos.  They can stand at a reasonable distance for a few minutes (again, probably behind a gate or fence…gotta have a barrier between the paps and the baby), and then go inside.  Or they can snap a picture of Little Missy, print off a bunch of snapshot-sized prints, and go hand them to the press outside.  No big money, no huge fanfare, and it wouldn’t look like they’re greedily selling their kids for cash that they don’t need anyway.

I’ll start holding my breath now.

 

Just when I do a post saying that Brit seems to be more together than in recent months, she goes and pulls something like this.  From flashing her nethers to the bad weave, it was vintage Britney when she went out for sushi last night.

But here’s my question…is the bump under her tight dress due to home cookin’?  Or…home cookin’ of a different kind?

What do you think?  Bad posture…weird camera angle…strange shadow…or bump?  She was toting around her ciggies last night, but then she’s never let a little thing like a possible (or definite) fetus stop her from that.

I don’t know.  The past several days she’s been photographed in jeans, which is what I would wear if I were at the beginning of my cycle.  It’s only been the past day or two that she’s been pictured in dresses, minus underwears.  So maybe it’s nothing more than gas.  I only mention it because of the custody hearing today, and the undisputed fact that the last thing Britney needs right now is to be pregnant.

There’s a hearing in the custody case later today.  We’ll keep you posted if there’s any news.

Leave it to La Vida Lopez to look glam and fashionable during the late stages of pregnancy with twins.  Jennifer says that she doesn’t dress down, even at home:

And while most moms-to-be stick to comfort wear, the always-glam Jennifer says sweats are not an option. “People make fun of me because when I do have them over to my house I do have a dress on,” she laughs. “I don’t like the way the sweats look with the extra weight. I like to feel good about myself even at home.” And while the singer won’t be able to wear any of Marchesa’s red carpet confections anytime soon, she does have her eye on a few special looks. But, Lopez admits “Right now the best thing I can do for myself, for my body is to keep resting which is not easy for me. I like keeping busy and it is very hard because if they say ‘be off your feet for four hours a day’, I’m like ‘oh, God!’ It’s hard.”

Well, okay…I can understand wanting to feel good about oneself, and if she doesn’t want to wear sweats or something like that in the privacy of her own home, then fine and dandy.  I mean, that’s not my personal cup of tea, because to my way of thinking any excuse for sweats is a good one, but whatever she is into, you know?

But I do want to take issue with those shoes.  Lately, pretty much every pregnant woman I’ve seen in fashion shots or pap photos has been wearing ridiculously high heels while in the late stages of pregnancy, and I personally think it’s ridiculous.  Stilettos and high heels throw off your balance, put undue pressure on parts of your feet that aren’t made for it, contort the feet into positions they weren’t made for, put a strain on your legs and back, and cause an unnatural walk.  Throw in the back-straining effects of pregnancy (in J-Lo’s case, with twins), the fact that being pregnant throws off your center of balance, add the very real threat of falling and possibly hurting oneself and the unborn child, and I think the case can be made that high heels and pregnancy do not go together.

Don’t get me wrong.  I like that pregnant women don’t walk around any more looking like tents in unfashionable clothes emblazoned with teddy bears and accompanied by stretch pants.  Being pregnant doesn’t mean your sense of style and wanting to feel womanly, even sexy, goes out the window.  But there’s a fine line between looking fashionable and being safe, and I’m sorry…stilettos and high heels are not safe for pregnant women.  Plus, if the doctor is telling her to be off her feet for four hours a day, he’s got a reason…I don’t think high heels are part of what the doctor ordered.  Don’t put fashion before safety, Jennifer.  Healthy babies are more important than looking fashionable.  She already looks amazing, she doesn’t need dangerous shoes.

 

I’ll admit I have only the vaguest idea of who Joel Madden is (sorry, I don’t listen to whatever music it is he plays), but I do know that he’s shacking up with Nicole Richie, and that they recently had a baby girl, the adorably-if-unwieldy-named Harlow Winter Kate Madden.  He recently rhapsodized about love and life and babies on his blog:

I swear it’s so hard to leave during the day, but always so rewarding to come home to the little family. I’ve always been a guy who loves to love.Probably one of the things that define me outside of my work is LOVE. I had no idea what love even was until Harlow came along.

Me and her mother feel like the luckiest two people alive right now. This time in our life has been amazing. We both look at our little girl every single moment everyday and know there is nothing we wouldn’t do to protect her and her perfect little innocence. It seems like you turn on the tv, or get online and its all bad news.

We dont want her to know any of that yet. I actually never want her to know any of the pain and suffering we see out in the world everyday,  or how harsh people can be as a result of it. Having this baby has really made me realize we all start out that way, then somewhere along the way something happens and people go one way or the other. But all started out sweet and innocent just like my little daughter. The world could really make you bitter if you let it, but thats where music, and art come in to save the day.

You’ve got to surround yourself with the things you love. The whole point to DCMA and this site is a bunch of us friends doing what we love, surrounding ourselves with positivity. I want my kid to grow up around that.

Well, okay, Joel.  I’ll accept that there’s just been a new baby come into your life, and it’s always wonderful to welcome a new, wanted, loved little life into the world.  So, as a seasoned veteran of the parenting wars, let me give you a little advice, okay?  It’s offered with the best of intentions, really.

First of all, if you want to protect her innocence, the first thing you need to do is get out of the Hollyweird, crazy, fakery-driven lifestyle that you and Nicole are smack in the middle of.  I applaud the fact that you quit smoking to protect the health of mama and baby, but there are more dangerous things to worry about than second-hand smoke.  Find a quiet place to live, preferably far from the glittering lights.  Keep Harlow out of the public eye as much as possible, and give her a chance to live a relatively normal life (as much as is possible with two famous parents).

Next, you’re going to have to realize that as much as you want to, you can’t protect her from knowing about the bad things that go on in the world.  In fact, as she gets older, it opens up opportunities for you to talk about how there are bad things that happen, but here’s how to appropriately handle it when they do, and here’s how to keep them from happening or how to keep her from participating in them herself.  Trying to shield her from all bad news will just bring up a child who has a warped view of the world, and when she finally does step out on her own she will be totally lost.  Music and art are nice, but it’s entirely too hippie-child to think they can “save the day”.  I’m a musician and artist myself, but even I know that, at best, they just make the day bearable.

Finally, keep Paris Hilton away from her.  I’m serious.  There’s nothing good Paris could possibly offer her, except to serve as an example of what NOT to do or what NOT to grow up to be like.  Seriously, look at Paris and think, “Will that be Harlow in sixteen years?”

That should be enough right there to scare you into a private cabin surrounded by razor wire on 100 acres in the middle of Wyoming.

According to Janet Charlton, Hugh Hefner and one of his…um…well, Holly Madison visited a fertility clinic in hopes of continuing the Hefner bloodline:

Holly has been rhapsodizing about motherhood for the last two seasons on the show and she brings it up every chance she gets. Hef was against it at first, but eventually he started to weaken to the idea (keep in mind this would be his THIRD family) because Holly was so desperate to be a mother. Recently, Holly and Hef were seen in the waiting room of a Beverly Hills gynecologist who specializes in in vitro fertilization.

Okay.  I’m about to get controversial, so hold on to your shorts.

I’m not saying Holly shouldn’t have a chance to be a mother (although my views on celeb parenthood are pretty well-known by now…have a kid, drop out of sight for eighteen years and raise them out of the limelight so as not to screw them up too badly with the Hollyweird lifestyle coughbritneylindsayparis…you can always screw them up with your own special brand of crazazy, though, people with no money OR silicone chesticles have been doing that for years, where there’s a will there’s a way), but there are thousands of children waiting to be adopted who need good homes.  Now, I realize I’m equating “good homes” and “Playboy mansion”, but just because she’s a silicone-filled airheaded bottle-blonde poptart doesn’t mean she wouldn’t be a good mom.  And I know the adoption process can be lengthy, difficult, and expensive, but what else does she do with her days?  Put that money of Hef’s to good use for a change and adopt a child or two or three who really need good homes.

And I don’t think dad would be a hands-on type of father….I can’t see him getting up at 2 AM for diaper changes or having a mini tea party or taking Junior outside for a game of catch, so the kid might be safe from his influence.  Besides, how much longer is Hef going to be around, anyway?  She’d better be ready to be a single parent.

Listen to me.  Like any kid she comes into contact with is going to have any sort of normal upbringing.  Lesson for all you young things…one day you’ll want to reproduce, so live your life in such a way that you don’t have to run and hide the evidence when your kid asks you what you do for a living….listen to me again.  Like she would be embarrassed.  I’m going back to the real world now.

George Clooney is said to have uttered the following when asked what he thought about Nicole Kidman’s pregnancy announcement yesterday while attending the Critics Choice Awards, his response:

“At least she is older than 16.”

One can only assume this was an apparent dig at Jamie Lynn Spears, who is also pregnant, but at the ripe, old age of 16. Apparently, not all of Hollywood thinks being unmarried, under 18 and pregnant is a good thing.

But wait, there’s more…

Is that a little baby bump? Awwww….

Nicole Kidman finally came clean about being pregnant, and most certainly was forced to confirm her pregnancy while major outlets were reporting what she only now admitted: she and her husband, country singer Keith Urban, are expecting their first biological child. She has two adopted children from her marriage to Tom Cruise.

Kidman denied earlier reports over the holidays of her maternal state, but after reports of her dropping out of filming her latest project (very unlike her) she did confirm the joyeous news.

The actress’ publicist, Wendy Day, just released the following statement:

“Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban confirmed today that they are expecting a baby. The couple are thrilled.”

I have absolutely nothing mean or snarky to say about Nicole Kidman. She can Botox until her heart’s content, because honestly, who the hell wants to look old. I also applaud her acting skills. Not to mention now is as good a time as any for her to take a break, her latest movies have bombed and perhaps having her own little bundle of joy will re-energize her spirit and bring her some much needed happiness.

Congratulations Keith and Nicole. We are very happy for you!

Yes, you read that right. According to sources close to the family, Casey Aldridge, the father to Jamie Lynn’s unborn child has nothing to offer. Other than his DNA, which he cheerfully offered her a few weeks back.

From the Life& Style story (ALWAYS, ALWAYS believe the tabloids):

“Jamie Lynn and Casey are NOT together. They’ve broken up numerous times, but he was her first and she kept taking him back,” says the insider.

“They’re not dating now. He’s really got nothing to offer this baby. He’s a kid himself. They have no plans to get married.”

“At this point, Jamie Lynn has asked her mom — and not Casey — to be in the delivery room with her.”

A rep for Jamie Lynn was not immediately available for comment.

So this little innocent baby is set to be born to an under-age minor who has described the pregnancy as a “shock,” and now has to grow up with the knowledge its parents didn’t plan him, its father has nothing to offer, its aunt is a f*cking lunatic addicted to Venti frappes, its grandma is perhaps the worst celeb mom on the planet, its uncle is a failed rapping wanksta, and its two little cousins were voted most likely to wear dentures before reaching the age of ten.

Isn’t this a bit much for a little tot to bear at such a tender age?

Well, look at it this way, if our Savior survived being born in a stable to an unwed mother and was able to grow up and become a hailed success story, even little unnamed, unplanned Spears baby #3 has the slimmest of hopes.

I am rooting for you little fetus. Just remember, where there is hope, there is opportunity.

Doesn’t anyone believe in marriage anymore? First Jamie Lynn, now Lily Allen.

I don’t have the energy to get into this story and to be honest, it’s not that surprising. All celebs are apparently too busy to use birth control or get married, or stop being stupid. The Sun is reporting singer Lily Allen is pregnant with her boyfriend of four months, Ed Simmons baby. Ed is one of the two guys from The Chemical Brothers. I like the Chemical Brothers. I like Lily Allen.

I also like people to not have kids until they are married and when they do have kids, to not be complete idiots. I hope Lily has given up drinking and smoking. Not a requirement by any means, just a suggestion. But don’t listen to me, you do what you want. What do I know? I waited to get married to have kids, and look at me. On top of the world!

Congrats you two knuckleheads.