Seriously people. Has everyone lost their damn minds?
The AMA Awards (American Music Awards) recently announced the nominees for 2009, and Michael Jackson is up for FIVE awards. When I read this news, I actually thought it was some sort of spoof.

But no, Jackson was nominated for Best Artist, Best Male Artist, Best Album, Best R&B Male Artist and Best R&B Album.

I just can’t sit back and watch this stupidity unfold without asking WTF?
This may be the only time I will ever stand up for Lady Gaga.

The AMA Awards are actually based on sales and radio data from Nielsen. And for the last three years, fans were able to vote for the winners on AMA’s website.

So although Jackson’s album “Number Ones” is selling like hot cakes now,*shakes head*, it was RECORDED BACK IN 2003.
SIX YEARS AGO.
So why the HELL was it eligible for a nomination? And how is this fair to the other artists?
It’s not.

A tribute to Jackson at the AMA Awards would have been more than enough. Even although I am sick to death of ”Jackson mania” and do not understand the worship that this man is receiving. It just blows my mind that people have such short memories.

If you think the award nominations are insane, hold on to your sequined glove, because just when I thought it couldn’t possibly get any more ridiculous, I happen to see a petition online, for Michael Jackson to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. I kid you not.

Here is a snippet from the petition, and it is one of the funniest things I have read in a long time and I have bolded the parts I find most hilarious.

Dear Norwegian Nobel Committee,

We the undersigned, would like to nominate legendary performing artist and global humanitarian Michael Jackson for the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize. He was and will continue to be one of the most famous, and influential men on earth. Michael’s message for humankind has always been rooted in compassion, and kindness. He has succeeded a lifelong dedication to the well being of humanity. Moving beyond all political, social, and economic borders Michael Jackson consistently spread a positive message of global unity, healing, and love.

Wait…. I have to get off the floor, I was laughing too hard.
I know I always say this, but I swear, you can’t make this crap up.
Surprisingly, there are over 45,000 + people supporting this petition. *pinching myself*

Yes Jackson has helped some people over the years. Ok.
But the Nobel Peace Prize?
He doesn’t exactly have the best reputation. *snicker*
Remember?

Remember that tiny little court case where he showed up in his PJ’s?
You know, the one where they let him go even though the evidence was a mountain high? *grumble*

So back to the most ridiculous AMA Awards in the history of the AMA.

A truthful snipette LA Times:

Michael Jackson’s “Number Ones” will compete for favorite album in the pop/rock field against Lady Gaga’s “The Fame” and Taylor Swift’s “Fearless.”

Both of the latter have a decent shot at being represented at the upcoming Grammy Awards, but the latter won’t feature any albums from Jackson.

That’s because his “Number Ones” was released back in 2003. What’s more, the album is simply a greatest hits compilation, featuring only a pair of songs actually released this decade. Regardless of retail impact, a 2009 award show should be restricted to albums actually recorded within its recent history. At last check, Jackson has already won plenty of American Music Award trophies for the songs on “Number Ones,” including an artist of the century accolade in 2002.
A segment or two honoring Jackson would have been a better way to recognize the King of Pop’s contributions to music. The MTV Video Music Awards opened with a tribute to the star, and the 2010 Grammy Awards will surely feature some sort of Jackson memorial. Yet giving the artist posthumous awards, especially when said artist hasn’t released an album of new material since 2001, seems an unfair slight to today’s current crop of pop stars.

 

Yes! Exactly!
Thank you LA Times!

I think it is a damn shame that other artists are going up against someone that recorded an album SIX YEARS AGO, and who won’t be present to accept, because of a little minor detail that can not be rectified. What is it again? Oh yeah.. HE IS DEAD.

Further more, do people think that Jackson would have been nominated if he was still alive?
HELL NO!
Under these circumstances, and besides that other little thing about Jackson…. what was it again? Oh yes… the fact that he was an alleged child molester, who admitted on camera  to sharing his bed with young boys…
I think if he wins ANY one of these awards, it will show just how insane people really are and I may have to donate some money to NASA so they can continue working on an alternative planet for me to move to. (certainly not the moon, Jackson was already there too)

 Now you can bash me all you want in the comment section, because I know that all the Michael Jackson blind sheep without memories will be out in droves praising their fallen King.
So go ahead…bash away.

But keep in mind that these nominations for Jackson are simply NOT FAIR to the other artists, besides the fact that is beyond RIDICULOUS.

Yes the man was talented. We get it, I would never dispute that. But enough is enough!
Give the other artists the chance they deserve.

If Jackson ends up winning any awards, the best thing the Jackson estate could do, is to not accept it and pass up the award (s) to the most deserving artist. At least that would show some class.

If you were one of the artists that busted their tails to get where they are today and then lost to someone who would have not won if they were alive, whose album was recorded SIX YEARS AGO, and again that little minor detail of them being DEAD, how would you feel?
How would YOU feel if the shoe was on the other foot?
Or in this case…. the glove on the other hand?

Papa Knowles, who is also Beyonce’s main PR pimp, was livid his money-making machine was being disparaged in the media yesterday after an alleged tape aired on the Howard Stern show of Beyonce singing like a wounded animal. Mathew Knowles gave a statement on the matter, which TMZ now admits was a hoax (nice job losers)!

In a fiery statement to TMZ, Mathew Knowles, who’s also Bey’s manager, says his daughter was set up. It’s one of the best statements we’ve ever gotten.

“If no one took the time to look at the biggest Inauguration in the history of America then shame on them.

If no one took the time to listen to Beyonce sing ‘America the Beautiful’ and ‘At Last’ at the Neighborhood Ball for the first dance of President Obama and the First Lady, and they question Beyonce’s vocal ability, they’ve gotta be an idiot.

At 12 years into her career, the last thing someone should be questioning is her vocal ability.

That would be like questioning if Kobe Bryant could shoot a jump shot. The vocals were obviously altered.”

So there you have it, the good news is Beyonce CAN sing. The bad, she’s still married to Jay-Z.

There are no words to describe how disturbingly out of tune and tone deaf Beyonce sounds in this clip from the Howard Stern show. Howard played the live board feed from Beyonce’s performance on the Today show.

As someone who has attempted to sing in public (don’t ask) I know that if you can’t hear yourself it’s easy to go out of tune, so I don’t know what the problem was with Beyonce’s performance, but I think it’s safe to say that what we are hearing in the clip is NOT what the audience heard.

Susan Boyle may be the only human being who can actually sing, because it seems like all the major recording artists out there are lip-syncing, and their natural voices could cause severe damage to your auditory nerve endings.

(via TMZ)

I’m not sure how scientific this is, but according to a PhD student who runs the website, MusicThatMakesYouDumb.com, one’s taste in music is a direct indicator of one’s intelligence as well. The scholar came to the conclusion by comparing SAT scores and data-mining music tastes from sites like Facebook or MySpace.com. From the Telegraph.uk article:

Fans of Justin Timberlake and Jay-Z also ranked poorly in terms of IQ and lovers of rapper Lil’ Wayne were deemed least intelligent.

The study was carried out by Virgil Griffiths, a PhD student in America, who compared students’ scores in SAT exams with their favourite music acts and genres by analysing data on social networking sites.

Those who prefer indie music are most intelligent, while pop, rock and gospel fans were all ranked at the lower end of the scale.

Fans of legendary acts like Queen, The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, Frank Sinatra and Bob Marley are all around average and above when it comes to intelligence, according to Griffiths.

Radiohead, U2 and Bob Dylan all have intelligent fans, he said.

Fans of Beyonce, Timberlake and Jay-Z all tended to score below 1,000 on SAT scores, with the average being a mark of 1071 out of 1600.

Fans of Beethoven were way ahead of the rest with an average score of over 1300.

On his website, musicthatmakesyoudumb, Griffith describes the results of his study as “hilarity incarnate”.

He introduces the test by saying: “I’ve listened to artists who after listening to I thought to myself ‘Wow… loving this rubbish says a lot about someone and how much they got going on in their head’. Could one’s musical tastes say something about intelligence?”

You know that’s kind of an interesting experiment, but not entirely accurate. I know plenty of intelligent people who have the WORST taste in music and plenty of stupid people who have pretentious taste in music. That said, I agree, people who listen to Beyonce, Jay-Z and Lil’ Wayne, seem like complete dumbasses to me.

Of course, I only listen to 80’s New Wave, so I guess that makes me not only mentally challenged, but two decades behind. Oh well, ignorance is bliss!

When I saw these ads I first was speechless…but don’t worry, I’ll have enough of my voice back to rail about this on BTR Today later on.

Yes, these are ads for the House of Deréon, a clothing line created by singer Beyoncé and her mama, Tina Knowles.  According to Wikipedia:

House of Deréon is a prêt-à-porter fashion line introduced by singer Beyoncé Knowles and her mother/stylist Tina Knowles. The style and concept is inspired by three generations of women in their family, with the name “Deréon” paying tribute to Beyoncé’s grandmother, Agnèz Deréon.

Expanding the brand, Jay Z and her sister Solange Knowles launched the junior line Deréon that is geared towards younger consumers and is more reasonably priced. The tag line for Deréon is “Where the sidewalk and catwalk meet”. [...]

It is reported that Beyoncé has an active role in the House of Deréon’s design department, approving and discussing fashion designs and ideas.

First of all, what is it with all the stinkin’ acute accent marks?  I don’t like to drag out Character Map every time I try to type up an article.

I like what Pop Gumbo had to say:

Tina, we understand that you had to pimp out your daughter at a young age in order to make her a star and bring money into the home. Without that sacrifice, “bootylicious” might never have made it into the American vernacular. So for that we are truly grateful, but this boo, is a disgrace. These little girls look like whores. Why all the lipstick?

What is the next ad going to look like? Babies wearing gold metallic bikinis while five-year old boys throw Monopoly money on them.

These ads creep me out…but more importantly, they make me sick.  The top photo is the worst offender; the bottom one is just dumb in a too-much-makeup-on-a-little-kid way.  It’s bad enough that we have teenagers walking around dressed like they’re looking for their pimp, but little girls?  I’m no prude, and I don’t believe little girls should always be in ruffly dresses and hair bows, but come on…high heels on preschoolers?  They’re probably a grown-up pair, but still…what are these people thinking?  Who would buy such trash for their child?  Why would advertisers want to show children in full makeup and hairdos, looking like adults?  What’s with all the lipstick and “come hither” looks?

And the sad thing is that clothing like these are not relegated to ads.  Go to any mall on a weekday and you can see mothers with their preschoolers walking around dressed like this.  Whatever happened to kids being kids?  Being silly with mommy’s makeup and playing dress-up with grownup clothes and shoes in one’s home, during playtime, is one thing.  Taking it to the streets is something else entirely.  And that’s exactly what these little girls look like they’re getting ready to do.  Let children be children…and let children look like children.

Don’t tell me I’m a sicko who is seeing something that isn’t there…take some software, age the photographs of these girls about fifteen years, don’t change their expressions, and see what they look like.  Sexy ads.  I rest my case.

A friend of mine once told me that we can make our daughters targets or treasures.  I’ll let you decide.

Jay-Z and Beyonce have been dating for six years. They are essentially scandal free, relatively uninteresting (except Beyonce’s deplorable taste in fashion) and have been threatening to get married for the last two years. At some point, the media says “Ehh, quite crying wolf.”

What am I talking about you ask? Good question. I stumbled upon an article on Ben Widdecombe’s Gatecrasher (NYDN) where he asks: Were mags biased against Beyonce and Jay-Z?

As someone who covers celeb gossip (well, sometimes anyways) my first reaction was: no. When it comes to celebrities at the levels of Jay-Z and Beyonce (A-Listers for sure) race isn’t the issue. When all things are essentially equal, the only difference in any moderately educated and cultured person’s view is socio-economic, not race. From my perspective, race plays no part in my judgment of an individual, but a person’s values and how this effects their world view absolutely does, and sadly this is often predicated on their socio-economic standings. But this isn’t the point of the story.

Ben Widdiecomb’s article:

Are the celebrity media racist?

A top tabloid editor tells me that Jay-Z and Beyoncé’s wedding was played down by the weeklies because “African-Americans don’t sell covers.”

Of the big five celebrity glossies out midweek, only Us Weekly gave Beyoncé the top spot on the cover. Other magazines gave her second billing to the likes of Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Aniston.

“None of the magazines landed an exclusive on wedding pictures, which would have made the story bigger,” said one tabloid insider, justifying why Beyoncé was relegated to a small cover box on his magazine.

But even wedding photos make less money for black stars, says another source. “Eva Longoria can get $1 million for wedding photos, but without the expectation of cover sales, Beyoncé might have gotten as little as $250,000 if she had sold hers,” says a top editor.

Magazine publisher and black gossip pioneer Flo Anthony responds: “That sounds to me a very racist statement. Beyoncé is one of the biggest stars in the world, much bigger than Eva Longoria.”

Anthony publishes Black Noir for women, as well as Toy Box, a black parenting magazine with a celebrity focus. She said: “It is hard for African-Americans in magazines. Only a few people, like Will Smith and Halle Berry, are mainstream. Editors really still think that only blond hair and blue eyes sell magazines.”

As another tabloid source says: “We have a saying, ‘Only Oprah.’ Oprah is the only black celebrity big enough to put on our cover.”

But Us Weekly editor in chief Janice Min tells me: “Janet Jackson has been on our cover twice, for two of our best-selling issues we’ve ever had.”

Min is also the only non-Caucasian to helm a top celebrity magazine. She acknowledges there is a perception in her industry that black stars don’t sell covers, but adds: “Typically, you will hear that discussion among a group of all-white editors.”

Well, unless celebrity magazine editors represent an entirely different demographic than mainstream America, this sounds like a tempest in a teapot. Real racism exists, there is no doubt, and it is UGLY and reprehensible, but when you get to the level of celebritydom of Jay-Z and Beyonce, it’s just not applicable.

Admittedly, what may have been a factor in the lack of value for putting Jay-Z and Beyonce’s wedding on magazine covers, may have more to do with the celeb magazine consumer demographics as a whole. Flyover country (middle-America) who make up the majority of celeb magazine’s market share, are not your average listeners of rap or even R&B, which is the music Jay-Z and Beyonce predominately make. Especially Jay-Z, white kids may be buying this music, but they don’t much care about who Jay-Z does or doesn’t marry. Again, no one who buys celeb magazines care much about this “non” story.

And again, it’s not like they invited the media. They made several efforts to keep the media out.

When mainstream media starts making racist accusations where they don’t exist, it takes away from the real dangers of racism, which directly effect the poorest segments of society, not the rich A-Listers. When you boil it down, it just wasn’t breaking news – merely a foregone conclusion minus the pretty pictures.

(It looks fuchsia to me)

Now, you can take a little piece of Beyonce with you everywhere you go.  Introducing the B’Phone, a tricked-out Samsung UpStage SPH-M620 Sprint-mobile music phone, personalized by Beyonce herself:

The handset features gold-and-burgundy colors designed by Beyonce, a Beyonce-themed startup screen and the ability to download exclusive Beyonce photos, videos and a song she recorded as a child.

“When I was 10, I recorded a song called ‘632-5792′ — a phone number. It’s a little embarrassing but it’s cute. There’s a recording of that song on the phone exclusively for my fans,” Beyonce told journalists. “I wanted to make sure people got a feel for who I really am. It’s only through this phone that you can get this close to my life.”

You know, just this morning when I got up and was eating my Frankenberry cereal, I was ruminating on what was missing in my empty life, and I came to the sad conclusion that there just was not enough Beyonce in my life.  I didn’t feel close to her, I didn’t have any sort of feel for who she really was.  It was like she was a stranger to me.  I felt so….alone.

Then, as if on angel’s wings, the heavens opened and the news that I could, at last, achieve my dream came to me, and now I know that I’ll truly never be alone again.  My life has new meaning.  I can both feel close to Beyonce and give her money that I’m sure she so desperately needs.  After all, somewhere there are orphaned weaves who need the kind of home that only Beyonce can give, and now I can be a part of that.

And the best part?  They will go on sale November 4 at Wal-Mart.  As if it couldn’t get any better, along comes the best part.  Wal-Mart!  Now even the most remote corners of the world can have the gloriousness that is Beyonce in their hip pocket.  I’m sure, somewhere in Iowa, a farmer is dancing in his cornfield, secure in the knowledge that it is just a few short weeks until he can drive his tractor to Wal-Mart and get his very own B’Phone so he, too, can feel close to Beyonce.

According to Beyonce’s rep, Alan Nierob, the singer is not at risk of contracting Hep A, as Beyonce did not consume any of the food at the Sports Illustrated swimsuit event that was catered by Wolfgang Puck.  As reported earlier, an alert had been issued by the LA Health Department about possibly of contracting the disease due to an infected staff at the catering company preparing food for that event, and several others.   

Well thanks goodness.  I just don’t know what I would have done if our precious Beyonce contracted hep eating sushi and raw veggies.  That would have been awful.  Awfully cool that is.  Yes, if Beyonce contracts Hepatitis A, it will be the old fashioned way.  She’ll get it from her rap mogul boyfriend Jay-Z. 

Seriously, Beyonce Knowles is a buttplugg and her parents are a couple of jerks.  The way the whole Dreamgirls thing went down with Ms. B being all divaesque about Jennifer Hudson getting some attention.  Not to mention the way Destiny’s Child was dismantled. 

I realize that my candor may shock some of you, as I am typically so positive and even-handed about my feelings towards celebrities, but the truth is, sometimes they upset me.  I cried when I saw VH1’s Behind the Scenes – How Papa Knowles F*&!ed The Other Members of Destiny’s Child So He and His Mama Knowles Could Live High On The Hog Off of Little Princess Beyonce. And by little princess, I mean big, wide-thighed bitch.

Those docu-dramas are totally real.  And it came as no surprise to hear that Beyonce wasn’t eating sushi and raw veggies.  Homegirl looks like she lives on gumbo and cheesefries.  

Not me man, after ten days of airbrushing, I look like an Amazon warrior.  My diet of consuming men raw keeps me lean and mean.  Well, mostly just mean.