For those of you who don’t know who Katie Price is, she’s somewhat of a celebrity in Britain.  Just what she’s famous for isn’t quite clear, other than having breastesses the size of watermelons (she recently had them reduced), wearing enough makeup to cover every face in La Cage aux Follies, and marrying Peter Andre, whom she met in the jungle while filming I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here!

She also has had some television shows and written a kids’ book or two and I don’t really care enough to research this further, because it isn’t important.  What is important, however, that during a visit to Los Angeles to get the veneers on her teeth touched up (what, they don’t have dentists in London?  Oh wait…nevermind), she took her daughter, Princess Tiáamii (yes, that is her name) out for a shopping trip.  Oh, and while she was out, she managed to infect everywhere she went with chickenpox, because that’s what her daughter is sick with:

Despite medical recommendations to keep a chicken pox sufferer at home, the glamour model brought the nine-month-old baby for a day out in Beverly Hills - and her spotty appearance certainly caused a stir.

Katie Price, 29, and husband Peter Andre, 35, flew into Los Angeles with their three children Princess; Harvey, five; and Junior, two; on Friday.

The couple are filming and promoting their reality TV show, which has recently been snapped up by U.S. network E!.

During their three weeks Stateside, Katie says she hopes to take the children to Disneyland and fix her veneers at a cosmetic dental surgery.

Arriving at LAX airport, Katie admitted Princess had caught the virus from older brother Junior.

She said: “She’s covered in chicken pox. How typical.

“She’ll be alright. Junior’s just had them.”

On Sunday, the couple left Harvey and Junior with the nanny to show ailing Princess the sights of Beverly Hills.

With their reality TV crew and a horde of paparazzi following their every move, the publicity-loving pair brought ailing Princess for lunch at celebrity hangout The Ivy.

Seated outside on Robertson Boulevard in the warm LA sun, the couple kept the photographers entertained with public displays of affection in between mouthfuls.

After lunch, the pair moved on down the road to trendy boutique Kitson, where Katie spent hundreds of dollars on clothes for her children.

When poor Princess appeared to be growing ever more uncomfortable from her illness, the pair decided to bring her to a clinic in Encino, before being redirected to the Children’s Hospital in nearby Hollywood.

The couple were swiftly seen by a specialist, who prescribed Princess with medication.

Did I mention that she took the poor little girl out shopping the day before as well?  Just what a toddler with chickenpox wants to do, go to Abercrombie & Fitch.

Here’s the deal:  Chickenpox is highly contagious.  People who are sick with it are supposed to stay home until all the spots are crusted over.  In fact, you can infect others up to two days before you even know you have it yourself.  You don’t have to have contact with the infected person to catch it. You are definitely not supposed to come into contact with a pregnant woman, especially in the first 28 weeks of gestation, because of serious risks to the unborn baby.  All that, and people with chickenpox are generally achy, itchy, and miserable.  When my kids had them, the last thing they wanted to do was go shopping…the first thing they wanted to do was lay on the couch and sleep.

Well, we can just add this to the list of Bad Parenting Decisions that Katie has made.  She’s already suing a former nanny for alleging that Katie is a bad mother who, among other things, never spends time with her kids unless they are in front of a camera and who has been investigated for a scalding incident involving her oldest son Harvey (he is blind and disabled).

Yeah, I guess she and her husband did take their daughter to the doctor, but only after a day of shopping, eating at a notorious paparazzi hangout, and mugging for the cameras.  Hey, you have to take care of the important business first, before you can be bothered with little details like a sick child.

It should also be noted here that the cameras following Katie and Peter around are from E!, the network that is also bringing you the Denise Richards reality show.  You know, the mom who pimps out her daughters for fame and cash, even though their father attempted to stop it in court.  Maybe Denise and Katie could get together and trade tips on how to properly whore your kids out to the highest bidder.

Do us all a favor, Katie, and keep your kids at home while they’re sick.  Oh, and go down to the local clinic and take a free class or two on How To Properly Be A Parent.

UPDATE:  Just found this photo of little Princess having a great time at the Ivy, enjoying her lunch and making life sweeter for those who sought an overpriced lunch in a sophisticated atmosphere at a swanky upscale restaurant.

And yeah, Katie did know that her daughter had chickenpox on the flight from London:

Arriving at LAX airport, Katie admitted Princess had caught the virus from older brother Junior.

She said: “She’s covered in chicken pox. How typical.

“She’ll be alright. Junior’s just had them.”

So let’s review:

• Katie knew her daughter had chickenpox.
• Katie knew her daughter would get them, since her son had just had them (if you are the parent of more than one child, you know that what one gets, the rest eventually get).
• Katie exposed passengers on a transatlantic flight to chickenpox.
• Katie took her daughter out shopping and eating, in full view of E!’s cameras, before bothering to get her any sort of medical attention.

Oh yeah.  Mom Of The Year candidate here!

Time to take a break from the CoS. Glosslip reported Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum (Ashlee Simpson and Fall Out Boy bassist, Pete Wentz) are not only engaged, but also pregnant. We expressed both our disgust at the poor example they are setting for their fans (it’s not like birth control isn’t available in Hollywood) and the fact that they are disgusting attention whores.

Apparently, since her appearance in SNL, when she showed her lip-sync skills were lacking, Ashlee has spent her time getting knocked up, not working on her vocals.

Don’t shoot the messenger, I’m just keepin’ it real.

Our favorite dirty crackhead, Babyshambles frontman, and Amy Winehouse’s male doppleganger, Pete Doherty has been arrested and jailed for failing to show up on time for hearings related to his probation on drugs charges.

Doherty had been given a suspended jail sentence for possession of drugs and driving illegally in October last year. His supervision order required him to make regular visits to court for progress reports, as well as take part in a drug rehabilitation programme. He was threatened with up to four months in jail if he broke the law during this period.

Do crackheads even own watches? And honestly, what do they expect a reprobate like Doherty to do? Not indulge in illicit drugs? Not be too cracked out to show up on time? Man, for every Lindsay Lohan we have here in the states, there’s like ten Pete Dohertys over in the UK. God Save The QUEEN!

The worse news in all this, besides Pete’s cat going into crack withdrawals while he’s is lockdown, is he may miss a show at the Royal Albert Hall on April 26. So, how many holes does it take to fill that place anyway?

Fortunately, Pete’s label has his back and issued this statement to fans who bought tickets to the April 26th show:

Parlophone, explained the solo show will be postponed but it “is due to be rescheduled and all tickets will be valid for the new date once it has been announced. Peter was very much looking forward to the show and would like to offer his sincerest apologies to all his fans and all those concerned”.

There should be disclaimers on all tickets sold to Pete and Amy shows which stipulate there’s only a 10% chance they will actually show up, and .0005% they won’t be to jacked to play.

True story, when I was in NY a couple of weeks ago interviewing Andrew Morton, there were these doormen at his hotel (The Bowery) who wore these Pete Doherty top hats. They had these Charles Dickensesque red overcoats and looked straight out of Oliver Twist. As I was waiting for a cab I said, to the really tall one, “Has anyone ever said you look like Pete Doherty, after a nap, rehab and industrial strength scrub?” And just as you’d expect, he said in an authentic British accent, “Yeah, it’s the top hat!” Well, it certainly wasn’t the nicotine stained fingers (this guy was cute!). He shared an Amy Winehouse encounter he had when he was back home in London, but since it didn’t involve crack or BLAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEE, why bother.

Denise Richards refuses to talk about her weight in front of her girls for fear it will set a bad example for them:

“I’ll never talk about weight around them,” the actress tells Shape magazine in its May issue. “And they’ll never hear me say, ‘Mommy’s feeling fat today.’ That kind of attitude just makes young girls grow up to be dissatisfied with their bodies.”

Instead, Richards says she tries to set an active example for her girls, Sam, 4, and Lola, 2.

“Working out is part of my life, not just an I-have-to-get-ready-for-a-photo-shoot thing,” she tells the magazine. “I exercise almost every day. The girls usually play in the workout room with me, so they’re learning by example.”

However, she has no problems whatsoever warping their psyches by pimping them out on her new reality TV show, using them to get ratings (and ultimately money in her pocket).

While I agree that we should present healthy body images to our daughters, and not constantly talk about how dissatisfied we are with this or that about ourselves, whoring out toddlers for the sole purpose of putting money in your own pocket probably isn’t the best thing for them either.  After all, these little girls are not of an age where they can consent to ruin their lives on their own.  Guess that’s where momma has to step in.

Remember…contact E!, tell them how disappointed you are that they are choosing to air this show, and boycott!

Well, not sure if everyone in America wants to be a Pepper, but Dr Pepper sure wants to see Axl Rose release the long-awaited (and awaited and awaited) “Chinese Democracy” this year…so much so that the soft drink giant is offering a free can of Dr Pepper to every man, woman, and child in America (excluding Slash and Buckethead) if Axl releases his album in 2008:

Many have tried, but so far nobody has been able to pry the decade-in-the-works Guns N’ Roses album “Chinese Democracy” from the hands of lone remaining original member Axl Rose.

Now, Dr Pepper thinks it’s up to the challenge. The soft drink company says it will give a free can of Dr Pepper to “everyone in America” (excluding ex-Guns members Slash and Buckethead) if “Chinese Democracy” arrives anytime during the calendar year 2008. […]

“Chinese Democracy” was most recently scheduled for release in March 2007, but promptly vanished from the schedule without a new date being set. Rose said at the time that all the recording had been completed, but there were some “scheduling difficulties.”

It will be the first album of fresh Guns N’ Roses material since the 1991 sets “Use Your Illusion I” and “Use Your Illusion II.” Rose has reportedly burned through $13 million in recording expenses for “Chinese Democracy,” and also burned his bridges with the bandmates who helped him turn Guns into one of the biggest rock groups in the world by the early 1990s.

Now there’s motivation if I ever saw it!

Axl, for his part, doesn’t seem to be as thirsty as other people are:

We are surprised and very happy to have the support of Dr Pepper with our album “Chinese Democracy,” as for us, this came totally out of the blue. If there is any involvement with this promotion by our record company or others, we are unaware of such at this time. And as some of Buckethead’s performances are on our album, I’ll share my Dr Pepper with him.

Could somebody please fetch the diva a manicurist, I think he has a hangnail and it’s making him a cranky-pants.

Here’s a thought…why not just have Axl buy us all a Dr Pepper and skip the album release altogether.  It isn’t like G&R are, oh, what’s the word I’m looking for…relevant? Did it suddenly become 1987 again when I wasn’t looking? I stopped caring about G&R (outside of “Sweet Child o’ Mine”) about the time I stopped bleaching my hair like Cyndi Lauper’s. (don’t ask)

Besides, it looks like Miss Thang has been spending a little too much time with Mr. Plastic Surgeon and Miss Hair Oh-No-You-Dinnt. I mean, look at the guy. What happened?

Scuze me. I need to step out to the corner mart for a moment.

I drink Dr Pepper, don’t you know
It’s the original taste that I love so
And the taste is making Peppers
Everywhere I go…

I’m a Pepper
He’s a Pepper
She’s a Pepper
We’re a Pepper
Wouldn’t you like to be a Pepper, too?

Be a Pepper, drink Dr Pepper…

When will these people learn?  (Probably never, because if they did we’d all be out of business.)  Richie Sambora, lead guitarist for Bon Jovi and two-time rehabber, was busted for DUI:

Law enforcement sources tell us the Bon Jovi guitarist was pulled over by the Laguna Beach PD just before 11:00 PM last night. Cops say they observed him driving erratically in a black Hummer and pulled him over. He failed numerous field sobriety tests and was detained for DUI.

At the station, a cooperative Sambora opted to take a blood test rather than blow into a breathalyzer. Laguna Beach PD tells TMZ there’s no indication of drugs.

But the hits just keep coming…there was a mysterious woman and not one, but two juveniles in the vehicle, one of which was Richie’s daughter with Heather Locklear, Ava:

Richie Sambora was busted for DUI with his 10-year-old daughter Ava in the car, along with another juvenile and another adult — a woman. If Sambora was driving drunk, he could be charged with endangering the two kids.

Police sources tell us Sambora has not been charged with endangerment but the Laguna Beach P.D. is “actively investigating.”

And, police sources say, after Sambora was busted, the cops called Heather Locklear, Ava’s mom. We’re told Heather authorized the woman in the car to drive her daughter home.

It never ceases to amaze me how the rich and famous can continuously, repeatedly, and so thoroughly screw up their lives.  Why do we have all these celebs being popped for DUI, when they can, oh, I don’t know…AFFORD A DRIVER???  If nothing else, the woman in the vehicle should have refused to get in with those two girls as long as Richie was behind the wheel.  It’s called “being a responsible adult,” and these people might try it sometime.  I hope they bust her too, for just being stupid enough to get in the vehicle.

It sounds like he needs some more time in rehab.  Richie, dude, get help.  Drinking and driving is no joke.  Maybe the third time will be a charm, but keep trying until it works.

If he needs help, I sincerely hope he gets it, because we definitely do not need any more stories like this.

Oh, in case you’d forgotten, Richie left Heather Locklear, Ava’s mommy, for her then-BFF, Denise “Someone’s tampered wit da bawwwwwwmb” Richards.  That woman sullies everything she gets her hands on!  She’s poison, I tell you, poison!  (don’t forget the boycott!)

It’s times like this I’m glad I grew up poor.  It was just a matter of time before somebody decided to hold the so-called parents of Nick Hogan Bollea Whatever accountable for both their actions and his.  The Grazianos, family of Nick’s passenger John Graziano, have officially sued the Hogans:

The suit, filed in Pinellas County Circuit Court, alleges that each of the defendants — Terry Bollea, a.k.a. Hulk Hogan, Linda Bollea, Nick Bollea and Daniel Jacobs [the other driver] – were negligent in the acts leading up to Graziano’s injury last summer.

The suit will seek damages in the millions, said attorney George Tragos, but the exact amount is not known because it remains unclear how expensive Graziano’s care will be. Tragos said the former Marine’s medical bills already exceed $1 million.

The crash left Graziano, an Iraq war veteran, in critical condition.

John Graziano remains in the hospital:

Lawyers today said that a portion of Graziano’s frontal lobe had to be removed because of the crash. He is in a “semi-conscious” state and responds to certain stimuli like heat and touch, lawyers said.

The proceeds from the suit would go into a trust for Graziano’s longterm care.

So much for Hulk Hogan’s words after the accident:

“[Nick’s] going to be okay. John’s going to be okay, and if things keep going the way they’re going…Nick and I are going to walk John right out of that hospital,” he said.

But wait, there’s more…

If you are an Ethan Hawke fan, I recommend you close your browser now, because this won’t be pretty.

Ehthan Hawke and his children’s nanny, Ryan Shawhughes (who’s now pregnant with his child) have been shacking up for a while now, and some (most, actually ALL) people are sure he was dipping into the help, well before the ink was dry on his divorce with ex-wife Uma Thurman.

This, after reported rumors of his marriage being ruined by an alleged affair with aspiring model Jen Perzow. Ethan denies the rumors, but Uma’s alluded to there being some kind of infidelity in the marriage and has said in interviews that her divorce was an “excrucitating” process. Thurman has also said she and Hawke do NOT get along, despite having two children from their union.

So with this history presented, we have a new story where Ethan behaved in a horrific manner recently, ON STAGE, and said some unspeakable things about his ex. Here are the details from New York Magazine’s Savannah Ashour:

Out of nowhere, actor Ethan Hawke hopped up onstage, strapped on an acoustic guitar and bared his soul to the audience. “Someone I know wrote this song while shooting a movie in Paris during his divorce,” he said. We, along with the rest of the audience, gasped. He was totally talking about himself, and more important, Uma Thurman!

Wait, but didn’t they get divorced seventeen years ago? Who cares, we said to ourselves, because by the way, Ethan looks good. He proceeded to sing a ditty that included lyrics about “not caring if [he] ever saw New York again,” “the lawyers,” and — most telling — “my wife.” Uma! “My wife hates me,” he sang, adding something about how she would call him a prick, how he longed to send for his children, tralalala singing stuff. We were intoxicated, both with beverages and with memories of Dead Poets Society. And then! “My wife is a big fat beast,” he sang. We gasped, along with the rest of the audience. He called Uma fat! In public! Sheepishly, Hawke broke his musicianly stride: “Yeah, I was very upset at the time.” And still is, we suspect.

Where to begin? Yes, Ethan your wife hates you, and yes you are a prick, and a very small, shallow, unfaithful, stupid, ignorant and clearly very immature pointy headed prick. If you really longed for your kids maybe you should conduct yourself in a more respectable manner than screwing anything that stops long enough for you to hump it, like some nobody model and the woman who was supposed to be baby-sitting your kids, not schtooping you.

Also, not sure what universe you live in Ethan, but Uma has never, ever, not once been a “big fat beast.” An uber-tall, lanky, unique looking woman yes, but a big fat beast? I think not. We’re all sorry you are short Ethan, and lack the foresight in not anticipating your ex-wife ’s less than stellar reaction to you cheating on her, but seriously, STFU!

We get it, it sucks to be you, Ethan. A craggy-faced, hardened, has-been who got his nanny pregnant and thus must deal with the consequences, but don’t take it out on Uma.

You better hope Uma doesn’t use one of her Kill Bill moves on you and crack you the nuts, forever giving you that pained expression you wear in all your pictures since she dumped your cheating ass.

Sore loser.

You would have thought experience would be the best teacher, but perhaps not.  According to the National Enquirer (yeah, I know, ugh), Little Miss Stickyfingers Girl was in a predicament when she was interrupted with makeup that she hadn’t paid for:

Now in a new incident, according to America’s National Enquirer magazine, the Girl Interrupted star recently set off the security alarm at Hollywood CVC Pharmacy after making several purchases.

According to the publication, when she left the store, she set off an alarm that drew the attention of a security guard.

A store employee is quoted as saying: “Winona had a bag of stuff, but she set off the theft alarm when she left the store.

“When a security guard stopped her, he found make-up she had not paid for.”

And when she was asked about the make-up, Winona answered: “I don’t know how that happened.”

The store employee added: “We took unpaid items back and she left the store.”

Yeah, that’s what they all say.  I don’t know how the Cadbury Egg that I ate earlier got into my stomach, either.

As you may recall, Winona went through a trial back in 2002, when she was convicted of swiping $6000 worth of merchandise from Saks Fifth Avenue.  She was put on three years’ probation and had to perform 480 hours of community service.

She’s lucky they let her go, although the store may have a policy where shoplifted items under a certain dollar amount are not prosecuted (I don’t know if that is the case, I am just guessing).  Regardless, this news certainly won’t help her already lackluster career.

The above photo is from her latest movie, The Ten, where she is playing a character who falls for, and has sex with, a ventriloquist’s dummy.  Yes, a puppet.  Yes, I’m serious.  No, the working title was not Pinocchio Pokes Pittsburgh.

For all of you who praised Nick Hogan Bollea Whatever and his family for visiting John Graziano in the hospital, where he lays in a coma after the horrific auto accident caused by Nick, I offer Exhibit A…the Graziano family, who are sick and tired of the Hogan family using their son as a publicity stunt:

Linda, Brooke and Nick Bollea are no longer welcome at the hospital bedside of John Graziano.

That’s because the trio went to the hospital on Valentine’s Day with gifts, and images of their arrival showed up on celebrity news Web sites, the Graziano family’s attorneys said Wednesday.

“We believe that it was a total (public relations) stunt,” said attorney Kimberley Kohn.

Dang…don’t these people ever wear just normal jeans and t-shirts?  Is that what people wear to the hospital nowdays?  “Oh, this stuff?  Yeah, we totally dress like this to sit around the house and run errands.  It certainly isn’t for a photo op.  High heels are so comfy to shop in and wear on slick hospital floors!”

It seems that when the Hogan trio went to visit John, laden down with goofy presents that he wouldn’t see (after all, the man is in a coma…while he might be able to hear and feel touches, he certainly isn’t looking around) and chocolates that he wouldn’t be eating, photos of their “good deed” ended up on various celeb websites.  The feeling is that this bunch needs all the good press it can get, seeing as how daddy Hulk can’t keep it in his pants, mom Linda is coming across as a terrible mother, and Brooke and Nick are…well, Brooke and Nick.  Do I really have to explain that one?

This news is far removed from the original statements released by the Grazianos at the time of the accident:

“My son John has been very close to the Bollea family for over six years,” she wrote. “They are like extended family. Since day one of this nightmare, they have been with us physically, emotionally, mentally and financially.”

She added that Hulk, his wife, Linda, and Nick have been with the family at the hospital every day praying for John’s recovery and offering food and support.

“They came and faced our family and friends not knowing what response they would get,” said Graziano.

It seems that the family has finally had enough of the Hogans, just like the rest of the world:

Whether a lawsuit will be filed in the wreck is a question of when, not if, the family’s attorneys said. The family faces “astronomical” costs to care for Graziano in the future, attorneys said.