In all seriousness, don’t let this happen to you. Regardless of who you vote for on Nov. 4, don’t be a lazy mothereffer, get out there and vote. Don’t let (insert your name here) = LOSER!

I wish I could lay claim to having found this, but fellow BC-er, music editor and the biggest Bruce Springsteen fan ever to walk this earth, Glen Boyd did.

(To make your own video, go here.)

Sexy Times Can Make You Fat

I really, really, REALLY, wanted to avoid this topic. While it is just BEGGING to be picked apart for all of the inherent hypocrisies, (for example Gov. Palin is a staunch believer in teaching abstinence-only in schools - but apparently not at home) I did promise not to be a part of the finger-pointing brigade, but I can’t keep my concerns quiet.

Unless you’ve been hiding from endangered polar bears in an Alaskan cave, then you are certainly aware of the controversy surrounding Alaska Governor Sarah Palin who is now the GOP VP nominee. Palin announced earlier this week that her eldest daughter, Bristol, is five months pregnant and will keep her baby and wed the baby’s father, Levi Johnston. Ok, that’s reasonable. Unplanned babies happen to even the best (or in the case of the Spears) the worst of families. It really isn’t my place to judge their decision, although I do have some concerns about how her family dealt with the realities of conception BEFORE they were put in that position. Palin has stated that “Christian values” are at the core of her belief system, so it’s only fair to point out the obvious. Isn’t it a no-no to have sex before marriage? I am not judging, just asking.

So, if this difficult family matter wasn’t enough, we now have celebs adding their two cents into the matter.

Sadly, celebrities and politics intertwine more than they should, but when I heard that Jamie Lynn Spears and her mother Lynne Spears have reached out to the Palin family in their time of need, I thought, “Oh gee, just what the McCain/Palin campaign needs….the Spears factor.”

So why in heaven’s name do we need the train wreck of Jamie Lynn Spears, a Nickelodeon teen star whose popular show “Zoey 101″ geared towards tweens, throwing her clown nose into this ten-ring circus for? Here’s the scoop:

Teenage mom Jamie Lynn Spears has sent troubled Alaskan 17-year-old Bristol Palin a baby gift package following the scandal surrounding her pregnancy.

Spears, who revealed she was pregnant last Christmas — when she was just 16 — feels a kinship to Palin, the daughter of Republican Vice Presidential hopeful Sarah Palin, and decided to show her support by sending designer baby burpcloths.

The Palin family confirmed reports their eldest daughter Sarah was pregnant shortly after the Alaskan governor was picked as Senator John McCain’s running mate in the upcoming presidential election.

“Access Hollywood” has revealed Jamie Lynn’s mother Lynne Spears called Los Angeles baby boutique Petit Tresor on her daughter’s behalf to order a small gift.

A store insider explains Lynne and Jamie Lynn wanted to send a gift worth under $100 to Bristol, and chose a collection of Plain Mary white burp cloths with pink writing.

The note attached to the gift read, “Dear Bristol, Hang in there … xoxo, Jamie Lynn.”

First of all, if I were a famous person, I’d stop buying stuff from Petit Tresor. They are nosy busy-bodies who can’t keep their snooty-mouths shut. Secondly, can we as a country stop glamorizing this teen unwed mother crap? Please? I am begging you. As a mother of two small kids and two grown step-kids this is NOT the impression I want to send to my children. Parenting is a very difficult job regardless of income and status. Children require tons of time, effort and patience. They get sick, they need infinite love and guidance and most of all, they really need the maturity that comes with age and experience.

While I am not suggesting there aren’t many success stories of single, unwed mothers, or teen mothers who are forced to marry their baby-daddies due to political pressure, the odds are stacked against them.

Children who are in high school should be focusing on their education and their future, not raising unplanned babies. But of course, I believe in a little thing called teaching abstinence to teens, REINFORCING those values at home, and as a necessary back up, providing them hands-on sex-education that includes information about reliable contraception.

Heck they even had that stuff back in the stone age when I was a teen. Sheesh, who would have thought a social liberal would end up having more conservative values than Christian evangelicals?

Shia LeBeouf, actor, dumbass, poor choice maker

Sunday morning, around 2:45 am, Shia LeBeouf made a poor choice (a term I use with my kids). Although in actuality, the poor choice began when he decided to get behind the wheel after drinking WAY too much, minor details folks.

Back to 2:45 am. This is apparently when Shia and his unidentified female passenger, were struck by another vehicle which caused his truck to roll over on its roof. While Shia’s passenger and the other drive sustained minor injuries, Shia had to be admitted to the hospital to have surgery on his hand, but only after he was arrested on misdemeanor DUI charges. Shia is extremely lucky the other parties’ injuries were minor, or he would have been charged with a felony DUI, and subjected to more severe punishment. From the CNN report:

LaBeouf was trying to make a left turn at a West Hollywood intersection around 3 a.m. when his pickup collided with another vehicle, rolling the truck over, Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Sgt. Scott Wolf said.

“It was immediately apparent to officers responding on the scene that LaBeouf was intoxicated and he was subsequently placed under arrest,” Wolf said.

Wolf said LaBeouf was booked then released for misdemeanor DUI. The 22-year-old actor was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and was being treated for injuries to his left hand and a knee, as well as a minor head injury, Wolf said.

Shia’s spokesperson released this statement:

“Attorneys for Mr. LaBeouf confirm that an automobile accident involving an additional party occurred early morning in Los Angeles on July 27, 2008. Shia is currently recovering from extensive hand surgery with plans to return to work on the set of ‘Transformers 2′ within one month. No further comment will be issued at this time.”

Shia, 22, who had been enjoying his box office success starring opposite Harrison Ford in the Indiana Jones 4 film, is no stranger to trouble, but this is his worst incident thus far. Shia has previously been cited for smoking in a non-smoking area in Burbank and for unlawful trespassing at a Chicago Walgreens. Both charges were dropped, which is NOT likely to happen with his current DUI charges. Shia also had a video surface recently showing him drunk and encouraging a friend to punch him, which included the use of gay slur. Clearly the kid has a drinking problem.

Shia now joins a growing club of Hollywood’s less than stellar stars who’ve been busted for drinking and driving, proving that this group is too stupid to learn from the mistakes of others. I find it especially galling that these stars get themselves into this kind of trouble because unlike us regular folks, they have handlers, assistants and loads of cash to keep them from making poor choices. Why not call a cab, why not call your assistant to pick you up? Why not hire a limo for the evening if you know you will be drinking too much.

Shia, I have defended you in the past. I have declared you one of the good ones, who was a bit on the edge, but smart enough to make decent decisions about your life. You have a history of drug dependency in your family and I would think you’d take that into consideration when make life choices. I am not going to tell you I am surprised you were busted, but I will tell you you’ve lost a fan. You could have killed someone, an innocent person, because you showed no regard for the safety of others. For your sake, I hope they throw the book at you so you will learn a valuable lesson.

Now do me a favor, don’t show up in the police blotter ever again, and I may forgive you some day.

Dumbass.

Media personality and talk show host Michael Savage is known for being a bit of a loose cannon (read:douchebag). It’s his job to make controversial statements, offend the masses and be somewhat of a fire-starter in order to drum up ratings. This however, does not give him the right to ignore facts, medical professionals, historical data and general perceptions of reality.

Savage, whose show appears on the TalkRadioNetwork has mostly conservative views and is listed as the third most popular conservative radio host in the country. Savage is also a major homophobe and was fired from MSNBC for making some very insensitive comments to caller who was pranking the host. Who had the last laugh there?!

So what’s Micahel Savage done now? Oh, not much, just bash a bunch of physiologically challenged children and their parents. Savage, had the audacity to call autism a “fraud, a racket” as well as stating the following about the children diagnosed with autism and the parents of these afflicted children:

“Now the illness du jour is autism,” Savage said. “You know what autism is? I’ll tell you what autism is. In 99 percent of the cases, it’s a brat who hasn’t been told to cut the act out. That’s what autism is.”

“What do you mean they scream and they’re silent?” Savage added. “They don’t have a father around to tell them, ‘Don’t act like a moron. You’ll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don’t sit there crying and screaming, idiot.’ ”

Now you don’t have to be a bleeding heart liberal or even a person with 3rd grade education to see the issue with the above statement from Savage. Clearly the guy is an ignorant, unread, unsophisticated, lazy-ass rabble-rouser. Having witnessed children with autism first hand and the parents who are desperate to try and help these children, it floors me that someone would make such a statement.

When you compare a “normal” kid’s behavior, to a child with autism, the differences are marked and disconcerting. Autistic children are hyper-sensitive to a variety of outside influences such as noise, smell, light, as well as, foods, textures and the moods of others. Handling these children so as to ease their emotions and sensitivities requires a lot of love, patience and hand-ons parenting.

I am all for disciplining one’s children, but there’s a huge difference between behavioral issues with “normal” kids and those with bona fide emotional issues stemming from a disability. I have tremendous respect for parents of children who must dig deep for reserves of understanding and compassion for the special needs of their kids.

So, essentially, because Michael Savage spends his time looking down on anyone and everyone whom he deems beneath him and raging on them through jaded eyes of ignorance, he has essentially cast doubt into the minds of millions of listeners of his show of the existence of a very real illness and the inherent struggles and difficulties of dealing with children with autism.

Great job Michael, what’s next? Punching a litter of kittens, slapping babies for pooping, spitting on Alzheimer’s patients? How about you shut yer cakehole assface and do some research before you go spouting off a the mouth. Go to the library, volunteer at a children’s hospital, feed the needy, do something useful you cancer on society.

For more on autism, go here. It’s real and it can be heartbreaking for anyone who knows a child who suffers.