Look Edward! You Can Suck On That Rabbit Over There!

Ok all you Twilight freaks out there. Now you can have Bella and Edward to play with in your home!
Well, not exactly. Barbie has jumped on the Twilight movie merchandise band wagon and they have just introduced Edward Cullen and Bella Swan Barbie dolls. Edward Cullen is Barbie’s first vampire doll, complete with shiny skin. No mention if the doll actually has fangs or not. *snicker*

Twilight, which was released last year, was pretty much bashed by movie critics and people who read the book. But it was uber popular with the yougin’s. It raked in $383,489,834. world wide and won several awards. It won the Teen Choice Awards, Young Artist Awards, MTV Movie Awards and  Bravo’s A-List Awards. Granted all the awards lean towards the youngsters, but hey isn’t that were all the money is? Right Hanna Montana?
You can buy Twilight posters, clothing,a soundtrack,key chains,jewlery,t-shirts,back packs,messenger bags,pillow cases, etc… and now of course… Barbie dolls.

People reported:

If Twilight-inspired greeting cards and clothing weren’t enough to satisfy fan-pires’ desires, now they can add Edward
Cullen and Bella Swan Barbie Dolls to their collections! As a tribute to the on-screen lovers, Barbie has created a set of dolls modeled after Robert Pattinson’s Edward Cullen and Kristen Stewart’s Bella Swan. Featuring Robert’s strong jawline and vampire-glow and Kristen’s long brunette hair and innocent face, the dolls are almost an exact replica of the stars. Looks like Bella’s wish for immortality is finally coming true! The Twilight Barbies, $25 each, will be available starting November 1, 2009 — just in time for the release of New Moon.

Where did this mania begin? With a book by author Stephenie Meyer.The book became a best seller. Many people thought the book was ten times better than the movie. But I think that consensus was from a crowd that was a tad older and from those who read the book first before seeing the movie. And rightly so. The movie was just not that good.Young gals think Robert Pattison is the cat’s meow, and they didnt’ really care if the movie did not receive the critic’s nod.
With the movie sequel ”New Moon” coming out  soon, I am sure movie producers will have a bigger budget to work with this time around and the Twilight stars will be staying on the top of the heap once again in popularity polls among young teens.

Of course the mystique and sexiness of vampires has been around a long time. One of my all time favorite movies was simply called Dracula and starred a very young Frank Langella and seasoned actor, Laurence Olivier. (you just have to get over Langella’s late 70’s poofy hair in this movie) This was the first movie to bring sexy to Dracula in my opinion.

Langella was quoted as saying:

‘It was like being Elvis Presley for two years. It was like being a rock star”

The movie came out in 1979 and it was well filmed, frightening and steamy. The underground scenes in this movie were totally gruesome and the end of the movie was simply incredible. I won’t spoil it for you. If you haven’t seen it, walk don’t run and rent it. Or I guess it’s download or “click to order” these days. This movie also has one of my favorite lines in the whole world.
Dracula says:

“If at any time my company does not please you…you would have only yourself to blame”

Wow talk about cocky! You can see the original “fuzzy” trailer with Langella as Dracula on YouTube, along with other countless clips from the original movie. Keep in mind the trailer does not do the movie ANY justice at all.  And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Christopher Lee  in Dracula Has Risen From The Grave.  NOT at all sexy, but totally creep and the ending is classic.

I was always afraid of Dracula when I was young. The Dracula movies from way back were ultra creepy and I always had nightmares. From the early Bella Lugosi movie to Christopher Lee, they always scared the crap out of me. But then later in the 70’s, they made Dracula sexy. And in the same year decided to also give Dracula a sense of humor, in the movie Love At First Bite. That film’s tagline was: “Your favorite pain in the neck is about to bite your funny bone!” Egad, they would never get away with that corny stuff today.

But then Dracula took a second seat to just plain vampires. More edgier and creepier vampire movies sprouted up in the 1980’s like The Lost Boys which was about a gang of fighting teenage vampires. Sounds silly, but it was it was pretty freaking scary. Then on to Anne Rice’s Interview With A Vampire, which became a cult classic in 1994 and brought back creepy to vampires once again, and this movie even featured a child vampire. And let’s not forget the whole Goth culture of kids that sprouted up and really got into the whole vampire thang.

But today, producers thought that vampires needed an update. So in Twilight, vampires were not only going to high school, but also going to the prom. They frolicked around during the day in the meadow and perched in trees. But creatures going to highschool is not a new concept. Let’s not forget the corny movie Teen Wolf  which starred Michael J. Fox. He wasn’t a vampire, but a werewolf. And he was quite popular in school I might add. *snicker*

Twilight also put a bit of a spin on their leading vampire. Edward only drinks animal blood. That way his love interest Bella, would remain mortal and not be ”vampirized“. Perhaps Bella’s wish to become immortal will happen in the upcoming movie(s). After all, vampires are once again… back in. And back in a BIG way. With all the merchandising  that goes for movies these days, you can buy anything under the sun. (or should I say moon). I am really  surprised that Burger King didn’t come out with “Twilight Burgers” yet. I guess there’s always the next movie! 

So back to vampire Barbie dolls. I wonder if Edward comes with a mirror, some garlic, a cross and wooden stake?  Nah.. that’s the old vampire image. It’s more likely that if these Barbie dolls came with any accessories, they would probably come with a mini mp3 player and a skateboard.
After all Edward is forever 17 years old.

Yes Barbie has come a long way. Barbie Corvettes and Barbie Dream Houses are totally out, and Ken has been replaced by a hunky vampire.
And now I feel officially old.
What’s next ? Vampire baby dolls in Osh Kosh overalls? Oh wait….

What a great day, I get to mention Amy, crack AND vagina in the same sentence. Actually, if you think about it, can you even mention Amy WITHOUT mentioning crack? Not lately.

Last week, stories emerged stating Amy Winehouse was offered $2 million dollars to perform at a private concert for Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich. Why? Because when you have billions of dollars, sometimes it’s fun to gamble with it, and these days, expecting perpetual crackhead Amy Winehouse to show up on time and perform anything other than a circus act with three rings, is some serious odds NOT in your favor.

Rush and Malloy have the scoopage:

Winehouse took the bait [$2 mill]. She can use the cash, according to British reports, which claim she’s been paying veteran inmates at a British jail to look after her husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, while he awaits his assault trial.)

Tattooed Amy managed to get on a plane in London. But, a source tells us, when she arrived in Moscow “she was in no condition to appear.”

Word is party organizers talked about finding a replacement to sing, but felt there wasn’t enough time.

Winehouse was due to take the stage at 10:30 p.m. at The Garage, the gallery of Abramovich’s 25-year-old love interest, Dasha Zhukova. The singer’s handlers “spent two hours trying to pull her together,” says the insider.

Around 12:30 a.m., Winehouse finally appeared, wobbling onto the stage down a red carpet lined with red lights, which guided her like a damaged aircraft down a runway.

Between restorative sips of Coke, Winehouse puffed on cigarettes, flung her lighter into the audience and tugged on her little dress, revealing to stageside fans that she wasn’t wearing underwear.

“I heard that her singing was a little sloppy,” says the source, who caught up with the gallery crowd later at The Most, the hot Moscow club where the after-party was held. “But she still put on a terrific show.”

If someone wanted to pay me $2 million to show up, caterwaul for a hour or so and flash my vagina, count me in. Except the vagina part, the caterwauling though, that’s a given. I can’t imagine, given Amy’s recent history of poor performances, Mr. Abramovich was expecting a genuine performance from Winehouse.

Also, just a side note, did she really have to go commando? If her weave and face look that messy and untidy, can you imagine what the parts we DON’T see look like?

*shudders*

You learn something new every day!

In his documentary An Inconvenient Truth, Al Gore made the decision to not use actual footage of collapsing ice shelves in Antartica, but instead to use special-effects shots created for the movie The Day After Tomorrow:

Al Gore’s “traveling global warming show,” the award-winning documentary “An Inconvenient Truth,” includes a long flyover shot of majestic Antarctic ice shelves. But this shot was first seen in the 2004 blockbuster “The Day After Tomorrow.” Sculpted from Styrofoam and later scanned into a computer, the ice shelf “flyover” looks real.

Karen Goulekas, the special effects supervisor for “The Day After Tomorrow” said the shot is a digital image. She was glad Al Gore used it in the documentary since “It is one hell of a shot.” Both movies use the shot to convincingly portray global warming, but it is left to the audience to decide if this created image can both entertain and educate us about our changing planet.

Wait, what was that again?  Styrofoam?

Well, it’s fake but accurate, you might say. “Just because Big Al manipulated my emotions with spectacular Hollywood fakery doesn’t mean we’re not ALL GONNA DIE FROM GLOBAL WARMING!!!” If you really believe that, there’s no point in arguing with you. But you’ll have to forgive me for laughing at the look on your face when you find out what the effects guys used to make all those “glaciers”:

Sculpted from Styrofoam and later scanned into a computer, the ice shelf “flyover” looks real.

That’s right, Styrofoam! You know, the evil, evil stuff that’s being banned all over the place because it’s destroying the environment. Wonder what the studio did with it when they were done with their dumb movie? Five hundred years from now, will the last few survivors of the human race stumble upon those beautifully sculpted glaciers, completely intact, in some forgotten landfill?

Uhm…mmmmkay.  I ain’t sayin’, I’m just sayin’.

hattip Deceiver

Valkyrie Still, or OSA meeting? You decide.

Tom Cruise has been quiet lately, a little too quiet for a guy with a movie to release.

Cruise’s WWII film, Valkyrie, has been delayed once more – this news broke almost two weeks ago. The media cited MGM excuses related to the film not wanting to compete with other major film releases. Here’s the details from Huffington Post:

Tom Cruise’s World War II thriller “Valkyrie” has pushed back its release date to 2009, the second postponement for a production that has endured its share of headaches.

The MGM release has been moved from October 3 to February 13, coinciding with the U.S. Presidents Day holiday weekend. Last December, it was pulled from its original July 4 holiday weekend berth where it would have competed with the Angelina Jolie thriller “Wanted.”

“When an opening became available for President’s Day Weekend, we seized the opportunity,” said MGM distribution president Clark Woods, referring to Universal’s recent decision to pull “The Wolf Man” out of that slot and into April 3.

“Valkyrie” is the true story of a German officer, played by Cruise, who tried to assassinate Hitler. The German government initially banned the production from shooting on location at the Berlin site where the plot was hatched and the conspirators executed. It later changed its mind after months of national debate that focused in part on Cruise’s Scientology beliefs.

This is not the only scandal that has plagued this film, Yahoo News has more background to this doomed project:

The German government initially banned the production from shooting on location at the Berlin site where the plot was hatched and the conspirators executed. It later changed its mind after months of national debate that focused in part on Cruise’s Scientology beliefs.

Some of the footage shot at the site was later damaged during processing, requiring re-shoots. Last August, 10 extras were injured when they fell off the back of a truck during shooting in Berlin.

The movie is being produced by MGM’s United Artists banner, which Cruise runs with business partner Paula Wagner. UA’s debut release under the new regime, the Cruise vehicle “Lions for Lambs,” bombed at the box office last November.

Tom Cruise, like the Church of Scientology he shills for, can’t catch a break. While the mainstream media continues to tip-toe and pussy-foot around the “real” story, those of us who’ve followed the internet movement of anti-Scientology sentiment fronted by Anonymous realize Valkyrie is poised to be the staging ground of massive failure. The film itself is not the issue (although it looks pretty tepid), but rather the studio execs (likely pressured by the CoS) do not want to create the tremendous opportunity for Anonymous to stage world-wide headline making press. Nothing like chants at a red carpet event to cause an uproar — or worse — at movie theaters around the world. The mind boggles at the possibilities.

There’s intel in the pipeline something big is going to blow for the Church of Scientology. While I can’t confirm these reports, suffice it to say, CoS infiltration into Hollywood’s darkest corners have lost their grip. Those willing to protect the CoS interests and their “celeb” stable have grown weary and with all all the pressure of Anonymous and the Old Guard of anti-CoS leaders, the public is starting to get wind that something is rotten in the land of LaLa.

I predict big-time players in Hollywood who have a beef with the CoS will follow their conscience and refuse to “play the game” with David Miscavige and “blow the lid” off of the CoS.

This is critical mass time Anonymous, your strategy, your diligence and your courage to go up against an organization which is run more like an international crime syndicate, than a religious group, has come to fruition. Glosslip predicts Valkyrie will never be released as they keep waiting and waiting for Anonymous to go away.

Silly cult, tricks are for kids.

Tech problems plagued the exciting premiere for Ian Halperin’s new documentary, “His Highness Hollywood,” including the live radio show I did for Blog Talk Radio on Glosslip Radio.

Fortunately, I videoed the interview and so the parts that were cut off during the radio show were captured live. I will be posting a review of the premiere, which includes appearances by Andrew Morton, a tampered with projector (dun.dun.DUN), Blogcritics Theatre Editor Jon Sobel and many great moments.

Second part is on it’s way. Stay tuned for full review tomorrow.

Update – Second part up now.

Also, BIG PROPS to k for not only carrying the site and doing the Shaun Daily show all by her sick self while I out of town, but she did so all while suffering from the flu AND she also saved the day at the last minute and helped me out with a technical issue.

Glosslip would NOT exist without k, so my eternal gratitude is offered for her excellence.

There’s a new monster movie coming out in January by Lost creator JJ Abrams called Cloverfield. Using viral marketing and annoying secretiveness they have generated an absurd amount of interest. Except for me, I don’t really care. The best Godzilla movies were made long ago and no amount of cgi is going to change that. The film is set in New York and mimics the 9/11 terrorist attacks New Yorkers endured, including insulting scenes of the Statue of Liberty being raped by a big skyscraper sized gila monster. I am against raping large historic figures, even those given to us by those cheese-eating Francophiles.

Anyways, many a rumor has been generated about what kind of monster will eat NY in this new movie, as Abrams has hinted his inspiration came after visiting Japan and seeing a Godzilla-type creature with his son. Who knows if any of that is true. But, after doing some extensive and exhaustive investigation I have discovered what I think might be the monster. There is very little warning I can give you for what you are about to witness and I am sorry for those with weak hearts who may be stricken by sudden heart failure, but rest assured, this is only a photo and there is no real danger from the monster known as Brooke Hogan.

Sadly, just moments after this photo was taken, the innocent human standing next to Brooke was eaten. Remember, Hollywood is a dangerous place.

 

It just goes to show that, for once, pretty pretty shiny shiny loses out to style and substance.  Yessssssssss!

Britney Spears, who’s latest CD “Blackout” is on sale at major retailers and music stores everywhere, has been beaten to #1 in the Billboard Top 100 by the Eagles, who’s current double CD “Long Road Out Of Eden” is available only at Wal-Mart.  Yes, that’s right…by confining their CD sales exclusively to one retailer and their website, the Eagles, who’s CD features their first original work in twenty-eight years, have whupped up on Brit, who’s album has to settle for #2 on both the Billboard charts and Nielson Soundscan.

The change comes about because Billboard has decided to allow sales numbers from music sold only at one retailer instead of mass market.  Wal-Mart shared their data with Billboard, and a star is born:

Early SoundScan numbers have the Eagles taking the top perch on The Billboard 200 with 711,000 copies sold, with most sales moved by Wal-Mart and Sam’s Club stores. For now, the only other U.S. outlets carrying “Eden” are walmart.com, where both physical copies and downloads are sold, and the Eagles’ own Web site.

“Eden” became available at the mass-market chain Oct. 30. Aside from two compilations, this is the Eagles’ first album since the mostly live “Hell Freezes Over,” which led The Billboard 200 for two weeks in 1994.

Britney Spears’ new Jive album, “Blackout,” which would have been No. 1 had the Eagles’ data not been reported, will open at No. 2 with first-week sales of 290,000 copies.

All that work Britney’s music team put into producing, mixing, tweaking, and dragging her Frapp behind into the studio, all the time and money thrown at it, all the electronic twiddling and computerized machinations, were not enough to secure the top spot for Brit.  Turns out a bunch of old guys, who’s band has been around since before Brit was born, who have arguably put out some of the best music ever heard, and who (gasp) actually play their own instruments and sing without the aid of computers, beat her…and beat her by a considerable margin.  By my calculations, they sold 421,000 more copies in the first week…and that’s nothing to sneeze at.

I can tell you why…the Eagles may not dance and writhe around (and let’s face it…who wants to see Don Henley or Glenn Frey flailing about in a spangly bra and hot pants?), but they sing live in concert, they play their own instruments, they have mad songwriting skills, and about a gazillion multi-platinum albums (Their Greatest Hits 1971-1975 went platinum twenty-nine times!).  Genuine musicality and unparallelled singing wins over a circus freak show…whodathunkit?

Welcome to the Hotel TheyStillGotItfornia!

 

If you haven’t seen Helen Mirren’s award-winning performance as Queen Elizabeth II in the movie, The Queen, go rent it now and watch it.  Right now.  Go ahead.  I’ll wait.

The five Corgis in the film, named Poppy, Anna, Alice, Oliver, and Megan (I believe only four were shown at a time), were awarded Top Dog honors at London’s inaugural Top Dog Film Festival:

“I know one should avoid acting with animals and children,” Mirren said. “But these little chaps were a pleasure to work with and deserve all the plaudits for their fine performances.”

The five Corgis, who were the monarch’s pets in the movie, were rewarded Sunday with a gong at London’s inaugural Fido Film Awards, which are part of the British Film Institute’s London Film Festival.

“The inaugural Fidos are a first in more ways than one: dogs have truly come in from the cold,” said Toby Rose, the event’s organizer. “Dogs take up considerable minutes of film time, but they never get a nod. Nodding to dogs is the way to go.”

The canine quintet’s success at the Fidos takes the tally of awards won by the movie to 59. In real life, Queen Elizabeth II has owned more than 30 Corgis during her 55-year reign.

The little dogs steal a couple of scenes in this movie with their unabashed cuteness.  But where are the awards for the Labs who were featured in hunting/stalking scenes at Balmoral?  Well, perhaps they were just stock.

Really, you should see this movie.  I rented this and Elizabeth I (also featuring Mirren) one weekend and had a royal good time.  Elizabeth I was a bit factually off, but an enjoyable movie nonetheless.  And besides, The Queen introduced me to the adorableness that is Michael Sheen.

Rush and Malloy are reporting that Jake Gyllenhaal is slated to reprise the role of  DC comic superhero Captain Marvel of “Shazam!” fame, from the popular 70’s kid’s show of the same name.  This Captain Marvel is not to be confused with Marvel Comics “Captain Marvel.”  Due to copyright and trademark issues, DC Comics can’t market under the Captain Marvel name, so Shazam and Captain Marvel have become synonmous in the DC world.

If true, Gyllenhaal will be reprising the role of Captain Marvel for New Line, whose alter-ego is radio reporter Billy Batson. Billy, a young man, would obtain his super powers from the wizard Shazam, which would transform him through a bolt of lightening into an adult with the powers of six legendary figures. How cool is that?!

The article states that New Line is ready to spend $200 million on the film and director Peter Segal hopes to quickly “nab” Gyllenhaal before Sam Raimi does for the continued adventures of Spider-Man.  There is speculation that Maguire is ready to retire his role in the Spider-Man movies, despite his oddly huge popularity playing the webbed hero.  Maybe he’s just sick of looking at the Kikster.  He wouldn’t be alone.

Come to think of it, didn’t Jake once date Kirsten Dunst?  Very interesting.  Moving on…
But wait, there’s more…