Rosie O’Donnel recently chatted with shock jock Howard Stern on Sirius XM Radio.

She dished about her not so fabulous relationship with her wife lately, Oprah Winfrey and Oprah’s BFF Gail. And oh yeah… that she thought her and Angelina Jolie almost hooked up once.

Was this wishful thinking on Rosie’s part? Or wishful thinking on Jolie’s part? Or just creepy Howard Stern with his usual everyday thoughts? *snicker*

First, about Oprah….
Both Rosie and Howard say they think that Oprah and BFF Gail are closer than they are letting people know.

From EOnline:

As for her thoughts on Oprah’s relationship with her BFF, Rosie and Howard think there may be some sparks.

“I don’t know that she and Gayle are necessarily doing each other,” Rosie said, “but I think they are the emotional equivalent of…”

“A gay couple,” the radio man finished.

“When they did that road trip, that’s as gay as it gets, and I don’t mean it to be an insult either,” Rosie explained. “I’m just saying, listen, if you ask me, that’s the couple.”

Doesn’t Howard imagine ALL women that have a relationship with another women of any kind in bed together? I can’t stand the man and he skeeves me out to no end. I bet his palms are always sweaty. EWWWW!

As far as Rosie thinking that Oprah and Gail are a couple? 
I just think her bringing up Oprah and Gail was ridiculous and a real yawn fest.
Although Gail would have been a BIG improvement over Stedman! (I always considered him Mr Excitement)

Don’t get me wrong, I am not defending Oprah the Scientology cult sympathizer in any way. Even though everyone is eternally grateful to Oprah for having Cruise on her show, which led to the famous career end phrase “jumping the couch”.

Hey Tom! How’s That Scientology Going For You Lately?

So if you are keeping score, I find Howard Stern, Rosie AND Oprah all repulsive. Oh yeah Cruise too. All for different reasons. And none of those reasons have anything to do with sex.

So what about Oprah’s BFF Gail? I don’t think I have EVER thought of that women before in my life in any capacity what so ever. I find her as about exciting as a fence post. Although again, she still would have been a better pick than Stedman.
FYI…when Stedman and billionaire gal pal Oprah finally ended their 21 year old fling, he received $250 mil for his “years of ridicule and you better keep your mouth shut” severance package. Wonder what Oprah’s gal pal Gail will get? *snicker*

So where does Angelina Jolie come into this picture?

Well….
Rosie told Howard that she talked to Angelina on the phone a couple of times way back when.
Ohhhhhh! That’s where she got the idea that they were going to hook up. Who could blame her? WHAT?

Some more help from EOnline… Rosie said,

“She gave me her phone number,” Rosie said. “We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that. There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through.”

Fear got the best of Rosie and she wasn’t able to seal the deal.

“I was a little afraid of her,” she said. “She’s scary in a sexual kind of way. I have dreams about her a lot still.”

Dinner plans too? WOW! Now wonder Rosie thought that there may have been a little somethin’- somethin’ going on between them.
Are you freakin’ kidding me?

First off, I have to mention, that I find Angelina Jolie ALSO repulsive, and again, it has nothing to do with who she did, who she almost did, or who she is doing now. Which of course is Brad Pitt, who I can’t stand either since he hooked up with “Angelina -Jimmy- Deana”. My nickname for her because of her huge plumped up sausage-like lips. You know…. Jimmy Dean sausage?

And secondly…. who gives a rats ass?
Really. Sounds like Rosie is doing a little “shock jocking” herself to get some attention.
And does anyone really want to hear about Rosie’s….  ahem….”wet dreams?”

I think many people think that there is no way in hell that Rosie could have scored with Jolie and that Jolie is way out of Rosie’s league. You know because everyone thinks Jolie is Ms. Wonderful and her beauty is simply breath taking? *ROLLS EYES*

But remember when Jolie kissed her brother on the lips on camera way back when? That was WAY too long of a kiss for any one’s comfort. How about her fling with Billy Bob Thorton? (ick)
I really wouldn’t have been surprised one iota if she did actually hook up with Rosie back then. Nor would I have cared. Hell, I wouldn’t care now!

But of course times have really changed now for Jolie. She thinks that when she poops it should be bottled as perfume. And I would imagine that Jolie would think that Rosie is not worthy of having scary sex time with her now. Besides, Jolie is saving it all for BRADLEY. *puke*

I think it’s moronic that Rosie thought that a few phone calls and a dinner date than never happened was some sort of prelude to jumping in the sack with Jolie or anyone for that matter.

So a word of caution people……
If you are not into Rosie that way…. I wouldn’t talk to her on the phone. And whatever you do, don’t make any dinner plans with her. Because it will obviously be perceived as steamy foreplay and undoubtedly an invitation for sexy time.

Unless of course, you want to hit that…..

Where’s The Camel Toe Police When You Need Them?

Oh Bradley, Bradley, Bradley! I knew you were an enormous dumb-dumb, but I had no idea you were THAT dumb. Didn’t your main ho Angie tell your to keep your best kept secrets…well…secret?

Brad, dad to the world’s largest growing child army, has been doing press for his new movie Inglourious Basterds and told Bill Maher during an appearance on his show about how he gave up toking the sweetleaf when he started reproducing with the succubus known as Angelina Jolie. The fact that Brad was/is a pothead is hardly a shock to anyone…it’s like one of the most well-known facts in all of Hollywood, right behind Lindsay Lohan being a cokehead and Paris Hilton having a CDC condemned vagina. Below is the interview where he tells Bill he’s stopped smoking pot for his kids:

But Brad apparently wasn’t counting on his good pal and the director on his latest film, Quentin Tarantino, to rat him out as a lie-teller during an interview with Howard Stern. Oh, this delicious piece of irony tastes sweeter than the blood of virgins Madonna bathes in nightly. You can listen to Quentin talk about how Brad busted out a brick o’ hash here. Yes, hash. You know, that stuff Afghan farmers grow and that politicians tell us in contributing to the war and bloodshed in poor Middle-Eastern countries. The same countries where Angie visits as a Goodwill Ambassador and preaches about the suffering of their people. One has to wonder how Brad and Angie plan to help these undeveloped and war-torn countries turn their pot crops into vegetable crops while they continue to create demand to the suppliers. It’s a double-edged sword isn’t Brad, to be both self-righteous and self-serving at the time same time.

I am not saying I disagree with Brad about legalizing marijuana or that he and Angie aren’t trying to do humanitarian things. I guess my point is DON’T be a fricken hypocrite and act like you are somehow above “doing illegal drugs” now that you are a dad, when clearly, Brad’s puffing on the good stuff. If you really want to “legalize” marijuana, admit you smoke and attest to its virtues. Why make suggestions that smoking pot and raising kids can’t go hand in hand, when clearly YOU ARE DOING JUST THAT?

Somewhere in all of this is a lesson about being honest to yourself and your public. For me personally, I always knew Brad was a terrible liar, but now the whole world knows. Don’t worry though, I am sure he’s getting his punishments from Angie, one leather strap-on session at a time.

WTF has happened to Brad Pitt?

TMZ  reported that Brad’s bike broke down and one of the paps was kind enough to offer him a ride to a meeting he was late for.

It was all caught on vid.

While the pap was driving Brad to his meeting, he tried to make casual conversation with Brad and asks him to say hello to the camera. Brad does say hello, but when the driver asks him what happened to his bike, Brad says:

“No. It’s not an interview man.”

Well excccuuuuuseeee me! Dumb ass Brad didn’t realize the cameras where still rolling in the car and keeps telling the driver it’s not an interview over and over and says he’ll walk to his meeting. If Brad would have just made small talk and appreciated their help like any other normal human being, this story would have been about how cool of a guy Brad was. But NO.

Brad, who really should now change his name to Bradley, was too busy being late for his meeting and obviously too big of a star now to talk to the lowly paps who were kind enough to give him a ride and get him to his meeting on time. So it looks like Karma caught up with Bradley, for all the world to see.

He acted like a total ungrateful pompous prick, and now everybody knows it.  Yeah, that’s right, I said it. And Bradley….what is up with your giant sunglasses? Hello? Fashion Police! They remind me of the huge sunglasses that little old ladies wear. Did Angelina pick those out for you?

Bradley’s pompous behavior is a far cry from when normal Brad dressed up in a monkey suit with the gang from Jackass
and filmed Night Monkey 2 a few years back. I guess he didn’t mind being filmed in a monkey suit while jumping into garbage pails. Brad went skateboarding, jumping into trash cans and causing total mayhem and had a blast doing it.

Click this link, it’s WAY worth a look if you haven’t seen it. It shows a younger, more down to earth and playful Brad Pitt.

I am not saying that stars should be jumping into trash cans in monkey suits. But some  stars need to remember that they are not God’s gift. I’ll take the old Brad Pitt any day. I used to think he was pretty dreamy in some of his movies. But now that he is known as Brangelina, he just makes me nauseated. And don’t get me started on wifey-poo. *wretch*

It looks like BRADLEY is the real JACKASS these days.  And oh yeah… thanks a lot Angelina!

Mr. and Mrs. Smug

Feel free to file this under COMPLETE AND UTTER FABRICATED BULLSH*T, but we’ll play along just for fun.

According to the National Enquirer, who, like a blind squirrel, occasionally gets a nut, the golden couple of Hollyweird have “officially” split. It’s all over but the crying (or in my case, the laughing until I piss myself.) Here’s more from the veracity-filled horses’ mouth:

After months of behind-the-scenes battles, it’s finally over between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Hollywood’s most glamorous power couple – who never married despite having six children – have grown tired of trying to gloss over their problems following five tumultuous years together, say sources.

Brad and Angelina are going their separate ways with the hope of reuniting in the future if they can repair their volatile relationship, disclosed an insider.

“They will make it official. It looks like Brad will be shooting two movies in California and in the Amazon, while Angelina is retreating to their French chateau with the rest of the family.

“It’s an official split.”

If the strong-willed couple can’t find a way to get back together, sources say the breakup could turn into an ugly court battle over their $200 million fortune and the custody of their six children.

The deciding moment for the pair came when they had strained words with each other while in Cannes, France, for the screening of Brad’s new movie Inglourious Basterds.

They put on a romantic show in front of the media, but Angie, 34, and Brad, 45, become frosty as soon as the spotlight was off, say friends.

A jealous Angelina was said to be incensed over the attention Brad was getting from other women, having argued recently over Brad’s continued contact with ex-wife Jennifer Aniston.

“Brad and Angelina will make appearances together from time to time, and he’ll meet up with the kids when he can. But make no mistake, this is a major split,” disclosed the insider.

As amusing as it would be to see those two smug-sacks filled with misery over their happy home being busted up, the truth is, this whole story reads like a libel loopholed mess. From the “jealous” Angelina to Brad’s supposed contact with ex-wife Jennifer Aniston, there’s nothing worth believing. But, let’s pretend it’s true.

First off, since the two have never been married and therefore have nothing legally binding them, why on earth would they have to divide their $200 million dollar fortune? I’d actually be interested in knowing how they enter into these lease agreements they have on the various places they rent all around the world, as well as, where the supposed “charitable donations” they’ve given from having their own child army photographed has gone.

Two things you need to consider when speculating about Brad and Angelina and their effed up relationship: Angelina is a media control freak and Brad has the intelligence of a starfish. A pink starfish that lives under a rock to be exact. So there’s very little chance that Angelina’s going to allow a cheesy media outlet like the National Enquirer break the news of her split with her baby-daddy.

But rest assured, some day, these two buttplugs will split and when they do, it will be a free for all orgasmpalooza for the tabloids. And yes, we will be front and center, with buttered popcorn, ready to relish in all it’s delightful and well-deserved karmic goodness.

Nice try NE, but this gets a big fat F for fail.

WTF? Who is this guy and what is his problem? Two words: Bitch Slap.

Man dumps his wife of five years for a home-wrecking slut, then proceeds to throw ex-wife under the bus repeatedly, whores his six kids for tabloids and then has the nerve to walk around like some kind of pompous ass because he throws a bone to some charities, never mind the fact that his carbon footprint would make Sasquatch jealous, with all his jetsetting and mansion living. Maybe some shiz-for-brains fall for his phoneybaloney “humanitarian” schtick, but consider me underwhelmed.

Blech, I’ll take Hugh Jackman and Tom Hanks anyday over this fake ass bitch.

News broke yesterday about famed celebrity biographer Andrew Morton’s new book subject, Angelina Jolie. While we had sources confirm this to us a while back, Glosslip is like the Fort Knox of secrets and we keep ours close to the vest.

Andrew Morton, who made headlines in 2008 with his controversial unauthorized Tom Cruise biography, is embarking on what might be the biggest challenge in his literary career. And that’s saying something, considering Morton is the man behind the Princess Diana story, telling of her private pain as Princess of Wales, as well as having made a permanent enemy of Madonna by revealing her many controlling ways and exposing the behind the scenes secrets of Presidential mistress Monica Lewinsky. Morton has secured his place in the best-seller hall of fame with his series of thoughtfully researched (and unauthorized) biographies.

We were able to track down the reclusive writer and get a statement on this new book (which we CAN’T WAIT to read). When I asked Morton why he chose the relatively young, but attention-getting Jolie, Morton had this to say:

“AJ is one of the most fascinating women on the planet. Hers has been an extraordinary journey and it is an extraordinary story. I am looking forward to telling it.”

Short and sweet, but concise. Angelina, already known for her wild behavior, strange relationships and humanitarian work, became an international celebrity sensation when she was linked to mega star Brad Pitt (when he was still married!)

There has been endless speculation and fascination surrounding Jolie’s role in the demise of one of Hollywood’s golden couples, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, who divorced in 2005 coincidentally, after Pitt and Jolie teamed up to work on the hit movie, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

Here’s more on the new project and Morton from the Telegraph:

Miss Jolie’s colourful life will provide plenty of material. Twice divorced, she has had a long-running feud with actor father Jon Voight and has adopted a string of children.

Professionally, she has risen to become one of Hollywood’s leading actresses, starring in films including Lara Croft Tomb Raider, A Mighty Heart, The Good Shepherd and Changeling. It was on the set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith that she met her now partner, Brad Pitt, with whom she has adopted several children.

The couple are also famed for their humanitarian work in the world’s trouble spots and Miss Jolie is a UNHCR Goodwill Ambassador.

Mr Morton’s unauthorised book about the star will reportedly be produced by US publishing giant St. Martin’s Press next winter.

His previous work includes the 1992 exposé Diana, Her True Story, for which the Princess of Wales was later revealed to have been the main source.

More recently, a biography of Tom Cruise brought legal threats after Morton suggested the Top Gun star had tailored his life to helping further the cause of the Church of Scientology and had become its de-facto second-in-command.

Mr Cruise has vehemently denied Morton’s allegations

There is zero doubt that Morton will shed some much needed light into many of the untruths spread by Angelina Jolie’s PR machine and we should expect to find some secrets revealed about her and Brad’s intimate relationship, most especially, when it REALLY began and how far they were both willing to go to protect their reputations, while deftly throwing Brad’s ex, Jennifer Aniston under the bus!

Stay tuned for more on this book!

This is the best video I could find of Jennifer Aniston and Jack Black presenting the award for the Best Animated Film at last night’s 81st Oscars. Proving that we as a public are still fascinated by the Brangelina vs. Jennifer Aniston saga, the show presenters panned to Jolie during the presentation. Both tacky and totally expected (and required).

Jennifer looked nervous and tore the hell out that envelope and she did stumble a bit at the beginning of the presentation, but hey, she got up there, got through it and didn’t blow a gasket.

For Angelina’s part, she put her best fake smile on and you know she was shooting pity daggers at poor Jennifer. Both women looked gorgeous, although Jen’s hair was frizzy and Angelina wore jewelry that resembled something you’d win in a gumball machine.

Who won that showdown? Mostly a draw, although Jennifer gets props for going out there in front of her ex-husband and his mistress, merely feet away in front of the whole world. Ask Debbie Reynolds how she’d feel doing to same in front of Elizabeth Taylor and Eddie Fisher.

I know it’s a shameless case of schadenfreude for me to feel a sense of pleasure that neither Angelina or Brad won an Oscar, but for those who don’t think that Hollywood pays attention to shady behavior and refuses to reward it, think again. Why do you think Tom Cruise has never won an Oscar? Shady cults are frowned on too.

I seriously spit out my tea when I read this story.  No, really.  I’m typing really fast because I’m sure my laptop is going to short out any second from my Darjeeling spray.

After a Golden Globes party (btw, he and Santa Angelina totally blew off Ryan Seacrest before the show because they were in such a hurry to get inside and get the humiliation over with), Bradley was called names and had his little state trooper stache mocked by a woman who had clearly imbibed too much (but whose eyesight and taste was obviously unaffected):

The Hollywood hunk, who has umpteen best looking man in the world titles to his name, was at HBO’s party after the Golden Globes when he was confronted by the cheeky woman.

A source at the Beverly Hills Hilton said: ‘Brad was enjoying a cocktail and chatting with friends at party when this woman, who was clearly drunk, approached him. She went on and on about how the aging make-up in The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button made him look ‘ugly as a dog’.’

In the movie, Brad plays a man who ages backwards, and spends much of the film with prosthetics on his face to make him look older.

The source continued: ‘Brad listened politely and explained that the make-up was essential to telling the story properly. The woman finally piped down for a moment, then looked closely at Brad’s face.

‘She then said, ‘And you should definitely shave that goatee because it looks just horrible’, before marching off. Brad’s buddies cracked up laughing.’

What do you say to that except give that woman a medal!

Yeah yeah yeah…I get it, he had to wear special makeup and stuff on his face for his latest movie because of the whole aging thing, whatevs.  This is not a super attractive man, folks, I don’t care what any of you think.  If this is your thing, great.  More power to you.  I prefer my men to look like men, not like sissymary little pretty boys who look like they would spend more time in the bathroom getting ready and using more product to do it than I would.

And I’m sorry…the stache has to go.  He looks like he ought to be asking you for your license and registration.

Remember a while back when Brad Pitt was spouting about how his kids don’t want material goods because he doesn’t let them watch TV aimed at kids?

The kids don’t ask for big gifts for the reason that they don’t see a lot of the American cartoon television, which is packed with all those manipulative commercials for big toys that look so fantastic.

When they do see that stuff is when they start asking for the toys, so we figure if they don’t see them they won’t know they’re there.

Well la-de-flippin-da.  My kids asked for toys they saw on TV too.  I said no.  That was the end of that.  Ta-dah!

(It does bring up this question, however…how much money did the sales of Kung Fu Panda merchandise, which includes toys, make for Brad and Angelina?  For that matter, what about Tomb Raider?  During which shows do those ads air?  “Oh, my kids don’t ask for material goods, but since you allow your kids to rot their brains out with commercial children’s television, won’t you go support our child-hoarding lifestyle by buying a few of my live-in-lover’s action figures which are advertised during those children’s programming?  Kthx!”)

But I do have to wonder if the Jolie-Pitt brood ask for Pringles?  Anybody remember this little ad?  Wonder during which shows this pitch for Pringles was shown?  (I prefer the Sour Cream and Onion flavor, myself.)

big hattip and a can of potato crisps to Deceiver

I realize that sometimes famous people score lucrative endorsement deals as an easy way to supplement their “meager” incomes, but the above commercial, which may or may not be for a cellphone, or a camera, or both…well it takes the cake. Besides looking like a little boy toucher with that atrocious mustache (what they can’t outfit him with a prosthetic mustache for his current film?), this commercial is off the charts stupid. No, I am not Japanese (at least I think it’s Japanese) but seriously, does the man have no standards? Even the quirky Japanese must be cringing at this crap.

Celebs will DO ANYTHING for money. Whores, total whores. Let’s hope all of that money is being donated to charity, because what teeny tiny respect that remained reserved for him is now gone.