Everyone has their own taste when it comes to music.

What may be considered music to one’s ears, may be considered simply torturous to others. Just because I feel that Michael Bolton sounds like a cat getting skinned alive, and that his music is some sort of cruel joke to all of mankind, doesn’t mean that some other tone deaf person has to agree with me.

One thing is for certain, whether it is the sweet voice of Bonnie Raitt or the overrated raspy voice of Bruce who stepped in it Springsteen… if it is played at decibels to make you feel that your ears are going to bleed and it is played over and over… it can be quite torturous no matter who it is.

Everyone is aware that the prisoners at Gitmo (Guantánamo Bay) were needlessly tortured by water boarding along with other degrading and unspeakable acts. 

One of the methods used was music played repeatedly and at ear piercing levels. The songs used and some of the artists who made that music are not too happy to say the least. How would you feel if one of your songs was used to torture someone? I am sure you would be horrified.

Well, Michael Stipe of REM, along with twenty or so other artists have aired their disgust, and have banned together and formed Close Gitmo Now.   

A little info on Gitmo first, before we get into which performers are saying Gitmo has to go.

Gitmo has held nearly 800 detainees in it’s history. An alarming majority of those detainees were never charged, nor went to trial. Only THREE of those detainees have ever been convicted of a crime.To keep Gitmo open is costing tax payers MILLIONS.

So what did the spokesman for the CIA say when it came to using music as torture?
He said nuh-uh.

George Little, a CIA spokesman said:

“music was used only for security, rather than “punitive purposes”

And in a 2005 CIA document, it stated,

“loud music or white noise was needed “to mask sound and prevent communication among detainees”

So what tunes and artists made it to the Gitmo “top 20″?

According to the National Security Archive, they used anything from the Meow Mix jingle, to the Barney theme song. They used such artists as Marylin Manson to Britney Spears. Although the Meow Mix jingle and the Barney theme song both make me cringe and is enough to drive anyone buggy, at ANY volume… I wonder if the Meow Mix or the Barney people have a problem with the fact their music was used at Gitmo? I haven’t heard anything from either of them and I have to say, if they don’t have a problem with it, then I have a problem with them.

Why would they use the Meow Mix jingle and the Barney theme if it was just “to mask sound and prevent communication among detainees”?
And why were detainees subjected to “variable light patterns” while this music was played? Is the CIA going to say they wanted to have a disco effect for the detainees? Although it really wouldn’t surprise me in the least.

If the CIA claims are true, then why didn’t they just use classical music at non dangerous levels without light patterns? The term liar liar pants on fire comes to mind.

Another little pesky factor besides the CIA not having the permission of the artists to use their music, is the fact that the artist’s music was used as an interrogation tool.

So which artists are pissed and saying close Gitmo now ?
Bonnie Raitt, Jackson Brown, REM, Pearl Jam, Roseanne Cash just to name a few.

Bonnie Raitt and Jackson Brown

Roseanne Cash recently appeared on The Daily Show with John Stewart to tell everyone about the petition they have created which people can sign at www.closegitmonow.org

The BBC recently reported:

REM call for Guantanamo closure

Rock bands including Pearl Jam and REM have joined a coalition of musicians to support the US president’s efforts to close the Guantanamo Bay prison.

The National Campaign to Close Guantanamo, which also includes former military officers, launched on Tuesday.

Many of the artists who have signed up are angry that their music was used as an interrogation tool in the jail.

But CIA spokesman George Little said music was used only for security, rather than “punitive purposes”.

In a statement, REM said: “We have spent the past 30 years supporting causes related to peace and justice. To now learn that some of our friends’ music may have been used as part of the torture tactics without their consent or knowledge, is horrific. It’s anti-American, period.”

Other artists to sign up to the coalition include Jackson Browne, Steve Earle, Roseanne Cash, Billy Bragg, Bonnie Raitt and Rage Against The Machine.

On behalf of the campaign, the National Security Archive in Washington is filing a Freedom of Information Act request seeking classified records that detail the use of loud music as an interrogation device.

‘Terrify and punish’

A report published in November 2008 by the Senate Armed Services Committee report, has already made several references to the technique.

In one case interrogators played records to “stress” a prisoner, Mohamedou Ould Slahi, who believed music was forbidden.

In 2003, he was questioned while being “exposed to variable lighting patterns” and repeated plays of a song called Let the Bodies Hit the Floor by the band Drowning Pool.

Jayne Huckerby, from New York University’s Center for Human Rights and Global Justice, said loud music was also played at clandestine prisons run by the CIA.

Following an early information request, Ms Huckerby received a CIA document dated December 2005 in which the agency explained that the use of loud music or white noise was needed “to mask sound and prevent communication among detainees”.

She argued that such sounds were not a “benign security tool,” but a way “to humiliate, terrify, punish, disorient and deprive detainees of sleep, in violation of international law”.

According to the National Security Archive, tracks by AC/DC, Britney Spears, the Bee Gees and Marilyn Manson were used at Guantanamo.

The Meow mix cat food jingle, the Barney theme song and an assortment of Sesame Street tunes also were played into detainees’ cells.

But the CIA insisted any music was played “at levels far below a live rock band”.

And Major Diana Haynie, a spokeswoman for Joint Task Force Guantanamo, said loud music has not been used with detainees since the fall of 2003.

Barack Obama pledged to close the Guantanamo detention camp by January, but Republican opposition in Congress has made fulfilling that promise look less likely.

 

So one of the reasons that Gitmo remains open is due to Republican opposition?
Although I am certianly not surprised by this…. WHY ARE THEY OPPOSED?
What reasons could the Republicans have to want to keep Gitmo going?

The NY Times stated that the estimated annual cost to operate Guantánamo Bay is anywhere from $90 million to $118 million. There are 226 detainees left at Gitmo. That is a cost of $400.000 to $520.000 per detainee. To incarcerate a prisoner in a supermax prison would be $75,000 in the US. Is anyone paying attention to this simple math? Get the facts

At a time when the US is in such an economic mess due to the carnage that was left behind by the lovely Bush administration, perhaps the millions of dollars spent on keeping Gitmo open can be used elsewhere? Ya think?

Now before our comment section turns into a shouting match between Republicans and Democrats…..
and people telling me to get my facts straight, (I only report what is out there) remember that this article is about how horrible it was to use an artist’s music to torture people AND the fact that their music was used without their consent. Not to mention what it costs to keep Gitmo going.

So if you have a comment about Close Gitmo Now or the musicians who started the petition, then that is fine. But if you want to argue about what Obama has done or not done to clean up Bush’s mess that he left behind, or the BS spin and scare tactics that the Republicans are using when it comes to the health care plan, (you know who you are, you silly teabaggers) OR if you are a Michael Bolton fan, then please go argue elsewhere. *SNICKER*

Can’t We All Just Get Along?

No I am not talking about his bathroom habits or Britney.

It looks like K-Fed is a real dirty bird and may end up as a jail bird if he doesn’t pay up!

TMZ posted pictures on their website which revealed the total mess and supposed damage that K-Fed left behind when he moved out of his rental property in Tarzana Ca. Gee K-Fed, just because you lived in Tarzana, didn’t mean you had to live like Tarzan. *snicker*
 
So I guess it is a case of white trash, leaving trash. No surprise there.

Although TMZ may have exaggerated things a bit, the place did look pretty darn unsavory. Most of the pictures they posted were kind of boring though. *Yawn*
But we included the two pictures that made K-Fed look like a total slob.

Laundry Day At The Federlines?

Other pictures from TMZ were almost laughable, like a few tiles missing here and there, or paint wear on the cabinets with a few knobs missing.

There was one picture of an outdoor lamp that looks like there was a bird’s nest behind it. Not sure where they were going with that one. Did they think K-Fed built the nest? Oh that’s right, he is a dirty bird. *snicker*

Of course the mini fridge was pretty disgusting and there was a myriad of ciggy butts all over the property and a busted lamp and some chips in assorted things here and there.

So I guess collectively it must have looked pretty darn bad to the owners. So bad, that the owners are asking for over $100,000.00 in payback for repairs and back rent. Yup! K-Fed skipped out on SIX MONTHS rent. Whoopsy!

Popeater wrote:

One-time rapper Kevin Federline, aka “K-Fed,” is being asked to pay over $100,000 in unpaid rent and damages for a ransacked home, TMZ reports.

Aren’t the parents supposed to clean up after the kids? One-time rapper Kevin Federline, aka “K-Fed,” is being asked to pay over $100,000 in unpaid rent and damages for a ransacked home, TMZ reports.

K-Fed has been accused of trashing a Tarzana, California home where he lived until this past May. The owners also claim Federline disappeared unexpectedly without paying his last 6 months of rent.

The owners are demanding $110,661 in damages and unpaid accommodation. The list of what has been wrecked is as bizarre as it is exhaustive. Via TMZ:

- Cigarette butts and empty beer bottles filling the gutters,
- A broken beer dispenser on the barbecue island,
- Cracked light covers,
- Mangled light posts,
- Cracked tiles,
- Drawings on the walls,
- Dead plants and trees due to failure to upkeep,
- Unapproved conversion of a room into a studio,
- Malfunctioning dishwasher with broken baskets,
- Smoke detectors that have been dismantled,
- Oil damage on the front driveway,
- Unapproved tinting of master bathroom windows,
- Missing garage door opener,
and the pièce de résistance
- Permanent spit marks on the exterior paint! No camels were reported on site.

The letter threatens to take K-Fed to court if he refuses to pay.

Federline, 31, is a dancer, rapper, fashion model and, ahem, actor. He was married to pop princess Britney Spears for two years before their highly-publicized divorce. They were also involved in an ongoing custody battle over sons Sean Preston and Jayden James Federline. There is no word about how clean the boys’ rooms are.

“Permanent spit marks” Huh? Maybe from chewing tobacco? Does K-Fed or his buddies partake in a little pinch between the cheek and gums? (that’s chewing tobacco for all you non-rednecks) if not, does spit actually stain paint? Ewww!

And lately, K-Fed has not exactly been the picture of health either, he is really packing on the pounds as you can clearly see.

I have read rumors that he was supposed to be on the upcoming VH1 Celebrity Fit Club Season 7, but then he denied those rumors.

But guess what? Celebrity Fit Club has just confirmed it.

Can it be that K-Fed is packing on the pounds on purpose so he can have a paying gig? It certainly looks that way to me. It seems awfully ironic that a person who has always looked very svelte, suddenly packs on the pounds and then is going to be on Celebrity Fit Club. Hmmm… I smell a rat.

Of course this is all speculation on my part. But I wouldn’t put it past Sean and Jayden’s baby daddy to supersize himself for the cash. Yes of course I know that the pictures prove he is portly now, but did he graze on food just so he can get on the show?

And if so… it further proves that reality TV has little reality.

He will also be appearing with his other ex, Shar Jackson as well as perpetual loser and Whitney Houston’s ex,Bobby Brown.

Egad, “Celebrity Fit Club” will do anything for ratings. Perhaps they can bring back Dustin Diamond (I hate Screech) with K-Fed and they can duke it out in the ring together. Now your talking ratings! I don’t know who I would root for. It’s  a toss up, but a double KO would be totally SWEET!

But seriously…

It’s time to grow up KEVIN. You’re over thirty, your career *cough* is toast, and your living like a slob. Your parenting skills have become pretty questionable now, (well, I should say have worsen) since you are not paying your bills and you turned a rental property into a total sh*t hole in your wake. Not cool when there are kids involved.

So to K-Fed… time to nut up or shut up.

The economy today has had an effect on retail sales across the board. Even celebrity fragrances have been hit with tough times.  Oh the inhumanity! *snicker*

Just two years ago, Forbes reported that according to Euromonitor International, (a Chicago-based market research firm) sales  totaled $353.6 million for the top seven celeb fragrances. Geez! No wonder why so many stars have their own scents.

This year however, overall sales are down 10%. Yep, the celebrity fragrance market is just not as hot as it used to be. Perhaps people just can’t afford it. Or maybe people are wising up to the fact that celebrity fragrances are just plain silly and embarrassing to wear? Could that be the culprit?

The celebrity fragrance market unlike other fragrances are way more fickle. If a celeb was caught in a scandal and their career turned lukewarm in the public eye, it can put a big damper on the popularity of the scent. Because that’s just how silly people are. Ridiculous but true.

So which celeb’s scents are currently top sellers?
Well, P Diddy, or Sean Puffy Combs, or Sean John, or Sean Combs, or just plain Diddy (wish he would make up his freakin’ mind) had a best seller with Unforgivable  that brought in brought a whopping $74.9 million in the past. And Britney’s scents are still selling VERY well and defying all odds even with the recent slump of other celebs fragrances. Maybe Diddy’s and Britney’s stuff just smells better?

The NY Daily News reported:

Fragrance peddler Parlux France relies heavily on its celebrity branded scents and has taken a hit for it. The company produces Queen Latifah’s Queen, Jessica Simpson’s  Fancy and Fancy Love, Andy Roddick’s Andy Roddick and all of Paris Hilton’s many fragrances (Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton for Men, Heir, Heiress, Just Me, Can Can, Fairy Dust and Siren).

The company lost $4.3 million last year and $2.5 in the second quarter of this year alone.
While the prestige fragrance market as a whole is down 10% from last year, Britney Spears is one celeb who appears to be bucking the odds.

Sales of her fragrances – Fantasy Britney Spears, Britney Spears Believe, Curious Britney Spears and Curious in Control Britney Spears – rose 13% in the June quarter. Elizabeth Arden, the company behind the ageing pop tart’s perfumes, just brought out Circus Fantasy, named after her latest tour and album. Then again, she’s global.

“More than half of the sales of Britney brands were sold of outside of North America,” said an Arden company spokesman.
Also doing well are classics like Chanel’s Coco, Mademoiselle and No. 5 and Dolce and Gabbana’s Light Blue. But it remains to be seen how Forever Mariah Carey, Derek Jeter Driven Black or Sara Jessica Parker’s Lovely will fare in recessionary times.

So even if the scent is sold globally and has a huge advantage over others, it still seems more important if the star selling the perfume is currently a hot commodity. Perhaps Paris Hilton’s perfumes have taken a nose dive due to her failing popularity. I think people are just sick to death of her. I know I am.

Mariah Carey’s ” Forever”is due to hit this September because she has a new album coming out. She also has a movie coming out this November. Anyone remember her movie *cough* Glitter?  Only time will tell how long ”Forever” will be around.

With over 100 fragrances coming out each year both from stars and regular companies, the market has become flooded. The competition has become fierce for celebs to have their scent be the next big hit. So many celebs in the music industry are scheduling their fragrances to coincide with their CD releases. This can be a risky move if the album totally bombs, because then the fragrance becomes a reminder of that failed album and then in turn becomes an embarrassment to wear to most.

Some celebs fragrances have stayed around for a while, like Sarah Jessica Parker’s Lovely and Covet .  Covet debuted two years ago when her Sex In The City Movie was released. Perhaps Sex in the City’s popularity has kept it’s ratings up? (the perfume that is)

I am sorry, I just think the whole celebrity fragrance thing is so cheesy. What’s next celebrity scented candles?

Especially for the fact that these fragrances’ popularity stem from whether or not the star is hot or not. If you find a fragrance you like and it was put out by a star that everyone now thinks is washed up or has failed in the popularity poles… would you stop wearing their fragrance even if you liked it? Would you be embarrassed to say,  “oh yes I still wear Clay Aiken’s Evening In The Stable” *snicker*
But this is exactly what happens.

I am not a big fan of perfume to begin with. I can’t tell you how many times someone has walked by me and I literally choked from whatever perfume that took a bath in before they stepped out their door. Some people slather it on so heavy, that their perfume arrives before they do and stays long after they’re gone. Thank God Poison is no longer popular. That stuff used to literally kill me. It was appropriately named.

One time I actually had to change my seat on an airplane due to the women sitting next to me. She must have dumped an entire bottle of Woah! Do I Stink! all over herself. I got an immediate headache, my throat was closing up, and I couldn’t even breath. I say wearing heavy perfume should be banned on airplanes. And that goes double for any of my gal OR guy pals who want to climb in my car. Whatever happened to the oh so silly move of spraying the room and then walking into it? *snicker*

Ok, enough of my drama on perfume.
Except I have to say that I would never buy something based on a star’s popularity and I have never bought a celebrity fragrance.
I have been wearing Alyssa Ashley Musk by Houbigant for ever. It’s less than $30.00 for a good sized bottle and I have received mega compliments on it over the years. It’s all I wear AND I am proud to wear it. I am just not caught up in the whole perfume mania. You will never hear me say “oh I am wearing The Beckhams Intimately Line” (you would actually have to pay ME to wear it)  Their promo picture alone is beyond pretentious.

Look How Sexy We Are!

Speaking of which, I wonder why Beckham’s  BFF Tom Cruise hasn’t come out with an entire line of Scientology cult scents yet? I am sure he would be able to talk Scientology cult members into buying Galactic Spice, or how about KSW Cologne (their acronym for Keeping Scientology Working), OT Orchard  for the gals or perhaps a line of body splashes like Body Thetan Splash. Oh I can go on forever, the possibilites are endless.

Of course Cruise would never use those particular names because….what is the first rule about Scientology? Don’t talk about Scientology.
So maybe he would have to kick it old school and name it something like Risky Business. After all, the name Risky Business does describe any company investing in any new movie projects with Cruise now. Oh snap!
But at the very least, we all know he would be the authority on fragrances. *tee hee*

Awesome! Got My First Order!

Aaaaanyways….
If you are going to buy celebrity fragrances in the first place, than you should buy it because you like it. Don’t be like all the other sheeple who buy what’s popular because the celebrity had another hit movie or a CD release. Because if this is the way you think, then that sixty clams you once plunked down for Jaylo’s Glow *snicker* has surely been wasted. Unless you want to lie about what your wearing. Yes some people are that ridiculous.

One fragrance that has stood the test of time is the hilarious Elizabeth Taylor’s White Diamonds (of course with the much older crowd)

Sorry Liz, no dis intended, but White Diamonds always reminds me of a friend of mine whose husband bought her White Diamonds for Christmas. She hated it, but didn’t want to hurt his feelings so she acted appreciative. She left the bottle in plain site unopened, hoping he would get the hint that she never used it. But the following Christmas she received yet another bottle. We laughed are asses off. Men!

Perfume’s popularity has gone through many changes over the years. Sure the old standards like Channel No. 5 are here to stay. But the classics are a breed all their own, and cost a lot more to boot. I think celebrity fragrances have their own little group.

bellasugar posted The Top Ten Fragrances that You Loved or (Hated) in Jr High School.
 Which was a blast from the past.
They listed Jean Nate, Charlie, The Body Shop Perfume Oil, Heaven, Electric Youth,The Entire Roster of Designer Imposters, Sunflowers, Exclamation, Ck One, and Love’s Baby Soft.

The most popular fragrance when I was in school, was Patchouli Oil. And yes I wore it for quite a while, and I stil like it, but I haven’t worn it since then. So I guess I am guilty of changing fragrances for the changing times. (I also don’t want my car searched if I am pulled over) *snicker*

I also remember using  “Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific” shampoo, which was so fragrant, it killed two birds with one stone. Sure wish I can find some of that stuff today just to smell it once again.

There were plenty of fragrances that used to be popular way back when. (including the guys stuff)
Some biggies were English Leather, Old Spice, Aqua Velva After Shave, Tabu, Tigress, Shalimar, L’Eur Du Temps, Windsong, O’ de London, Rive Gauche, and the infamous Evening in Paris, just to name a VERY few.

Whoops! Almost forgot Hai Karate After Shave!
Who can forget their commericals of girls going wild?

Today it has been replaced with the more updated AXE which uses the same girls gone wild idea for their AXE “you have been warned” commercials. YouTube has many parodies of their commercials, but one of my all time favorite fragrance parodies was for a pseudo cologne, called Douche Cologne. Click here and giggle. (it’s a tad racy in one part, so if you are easily offended, you may want to pass)

It’s any one’s guess which celebrity fragrance is going to be the next big seller and if it has any staying power in today’s economy and the fickleness of the market. With over 100 fragrances coming out each year world wide, the market has become flooded. The competition has become very fierce to have that next big hit.

I am surprised others in the music industry haven’t come out with their own fragrances. Doesn’t seem to be any rocker’s fragrances . The Stone’s Brown Sugar would be a no brainer, and I am sure with all the Beatles flap lately, if they were to come out with a fragrance it just may work. It would probably have hints of Apple *tee hee*

OR how about for the younger crowd? Perhaps Green Day Garden or Blink 182 Bouquet would sell? Probably not. The target audience is not the same. But you never know. Hey I want 10% if I see any of these on the market!

Even other celebs like Donald (ick) Trump and Simon (ick) Cowell jumped on the fragrance band wagon. I guess they needed the cash?
Wonder how Donald Trump’s stuff is selling? Maybe it’s selling better than his Trump Water?

Who would ever admit to wearing Trump or Cowell’s stuff anyways?
Or maybe your more of an Antonio Banderas fan? Look he even has his hand extended on the display, as if to say (in Antonios’s accent of course) “Come… come… take a whiff of sexy” *snicker*  

Speaking of celeb fragrances that people may be (or should be) embarrased to wear…
How about Britney Spears new Circus Fantasy?

Some how the name Circus Fantasy doesn’t sound appealing to me. I know it is a reference to Britney’s album and tour, but Circus Fantasy? Really? Has Elizabeth Arden lost their damn minds?

Even the packaging looks tacky. Looks like it comes with candy circus peanuts (the worst candy ever). And at $55.00 a pop, it should come with popcorn or a candy apple at the very least.

Sorry, but a perfume with the word circus in it, reminds me of  clowns and something that would smell like elephant poop stuck to a clown’s shoe and cotton candy all in one. Others may be reminded of a sexy trapeze artist, or perhaps a day at the circus with their family? Or dancing circus dogs in little hats and tutus? Ummm…. again, I just dont’ get it.

But hey, maybe she will be laughing all the way to the bank with this one. After all her fragrance Curious was a best seller in celebrity fragrance world.

For me, the word circus makes my mind go right back to the image of CLOWNS. Scary freakin’ clowns.
And clowns have always freaked me out! *shudder*

Above is video of Disney’s “Hannah Montana” star Miley Cyrus performing at Fox’s 2009 Teen Choice Awards. Why yes, that is a stripper pole on an ice cream cart. Nothing says wholesome like combining skeevy strip-tease tools and child-hood sweets — it’s like a dream conjured up in the mind of perverts.

Miley’s image is a disaster for Disney and for Miley. Sure she may be worth millions now (let’s hope she invests wisely) but ask any former teen star how hard it is to transition from teen star to adult star and most would have harrowing tales to tell. Lindsay, Britney, Mischa and Vanessa Hudgens (on the heels of a more nude photos leaked) certainly could fill us all in on that challenge, and then some. It’s not impossible to do it, but you need to have a team of caring, moral and ethical people around you in order to survive with your dignity intact.

For Miley, it’s been one disaster after another. First it was the risque photos leaked to the media, then the botched Vanity Fair photo shoot, not to mention the catty YouTube videos poking fun at fellow Disney star Selena Gomez, and of course, the racial insensitivity. One would think whoever does PR for Miley might try a little harder. And this latest effort, is NOT what I would call “trying harder.”

Miley Cyrus is reviled in our home and my 9-year old daughter came to this conclusion on her own. It’s only a matter of time until Miley’s string of poor choices finally catch up with her within the entire tween demographic. It always does.

I understand that I am in a unique position from most parents, I see ALL of Miley’s missteps, and therefore I am much more astute at figuring out this young girl is a TRAINWRECK waiting to happen. Clearly, Miley and her camp are on the Britney Spears roadmap to fame: whore them out early and often. Not only does this brand Miley for the next generation of consumers, but it also helps sexualize her long before she is even fully mature. Everyone knows sex sells, and Miley’s parents and handlers are no exception.

I know I am not the only one who thinks this is both sick, perverse and twisted. Most of my fellow moms have banned Miley from their household, and the trend is growing. Isn’t it bad enough Miley has middle-aged men stalking her? You’d think that would be a wake-up call to her parents. This isn’t the norm, this is the exception. There are plenty of young, talented women who are famous, who DON’T have a negative image to overcome. These young women have managed to avoid the cliched pitfalls of Hollywood, simply because they chose a personal set of standards, modesty and dare I say,personal safety, over a fistful of dollars.

It may be a common refrain, but it bears repeating: why do we continue to sexualize our children before they have even gained enough life experience to understand their OWN sexuality?

The blame isn’t solely Miley’s, who by all accounts, is still a child. There is plenty to go around, namely her parents Tish and Billy Ray, who clearly have been blinded by the millions to be gained by pimping out their daughter at an early age. Clearly, these two are too stupid to have learned anything from the Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan fiascos — how many young girls must we trash before we change our ways?

My daughter, hardly unique in her maturity and level of sophistication, saw through the Miley machine pretty quickly. When she walks through Wal-Mart and makes gagging sounds at all the garish displays of Miley merchandise, or the revealing photos on the nightly news, it’s not hard to put it all together. This isn’t genuine, real or lasting. Miley is a fabrication of Hollywood, and while some kids may be blinded by fan worship, many others see through the ruse, and in time Miley’s facade and slick production won’t translate to her maturing fan base.

When a 9-year old says “Miley makes me uncomfortable. Why is she posing almost nude Mom?” then you KNOW something is wrong.

Makes me glad we skipped the Teen Choice Awards, I sure don’t feel ready to explain the stripper pole to my kids.

Scruffy pap Adnan Ghalib, Britney’s former squeeze, probably wishes he had invested in some anger management classes.

Last February, Adnan allegedly tried to hit process server Ram Moskowitz with his car when Moskowitz was trying to serve him a restraining order on Britney’s behalf. Well now, he has been slapped with a lawsuit for his little hissy-fit.

According to E! Online

The complaint, filed Monday in Los Angeles Superior Court by Ram Moskowitz, claims he was intentionally hit by the 36-year-old Ghalib’s car while waiting outside his Burbank apartment.

The process server suffered cuts, abrasions and a fractured wrist in the attack but refused medical treatment when cops arrived.

Moskowitz claims that Ghalib drove at a high rate of speed and zig-zagged across an alley while he was still on perched on the hood of Ghalib’s car. The plaintiff says he held onto the hood but eventually was thrown from the Mercedes, crashing onto the pavement and “sustaining myriad physical injuries.”

“It was a very frightening, scary incident and he’s lucky to be alive,” Moskowitz’s attorney, David Olson, told E! News Thursday. “He’s lucky and Mr. Ghalib is lucky.”

Ghalib, who has since been barred from having any contact with Spears for three years, has pleaded not guilty to felony counts of assault with a deadly weapon, battery and hit-and-run. His next court date in the criminal case is scheduled for May 4.

Moskowitz’s civil suit seeks unspecified damages for assault, battery, negligence and both intentional and negligent infliction of emotional distress. But if Ghalib, a British-raised Afghan citizen, winds up being deported, the process server might very well end up with nada.

Just this past April, Adnan turned in his gun, in compliance with the THREE YEAR restraining order filed on Britney’s behalf. Sounds like a good idea? eh?

In the video, reporters were asking Adnan why he still keeps texting Britney and how does it feel to have the cameras turned on him now. Somehow he manages to keep his mouth shut, unlike lots of dimwitted celebs we know

Let’s be frank here, this guy is NOT on the up and up. In fact, he sends a shiver up my spine, and even though it was Britney’s choice to see “Mr. Creepy” in the first place, let’s hope this is the last that Britney has to deal with him.

Britney still needs time to heal from the various mental issues she was facing during the tumultuous period of her life in which people like Adnan, and Osama bin Loopy were pulling the strings. These days, Britney seems to be in a better place and she can now hopefully get on with her kooky, sordid life.

(posted by Queen)

Well, that’s one way to keep him away from Britney.

You know, I seriously don’t like Adnan, but I wouldn’t wish this one on my worst enemy.  It seems that if Anon Brazilianwax (as he is affectionately known around these parts), if found guilty of assault charges, could be deported to Afghanistan of all places:

It’s a far cry from his glamorous lifestyle a year ago, when he was dating one of the world’s most famous women.

But the paparazzi photographer is now facing three assault charges that could earn him a seven-year jail sentence in the US or deportation to Afghanistan.

Ghalib, 36, is charged with assault with a deadly weapon, hit-and-run and battery.

The charges relate to an incident on 11 February in Los Angeles when a court official tried to serve him with a restraining order to stay away from Britney.

The restraining order was issued by the singer’s father, Jamie Spears, who has taken control of her affairs.

Ghalib allegedly tried to run over the court official – the charge of use of a deadly weapon relates to his car.

Okay, that much I understand (and covered a while back).  But just where does the deportation come in?

The photographer moved to Birmingham from Afghanistan with his family when he was five years old, and he works in the US.

But if he is listed as Afghani in the legal papers, he could be deported to the war-torn country.

‘The country of citizenship listed on the legal files is where someone convicted of a serious crime will be deported to whether they hold a green card or not,’ a source from the Los Angeles police told People News.

‘There is some confusion on his court documents over where he comes from. Some list the country as Afghanistan, but another states his nationality as British.’

Aha.  So basically it will be all his parents’ fault if he is deported.  It always comes back to the parents and how we screwed up the lives of our children!

You know, in a way that makes me nauseous, this actually kinda makes me feel sorry for the guy, for about a second and a half.  If he is deported to Afghanistan, I have a feeling that he’ll be chewed up and spit out faster than he can close the shutter on a camera.  I mean, can you see this guy on the streets of Kabul?  Living in Kandahar City?  Not sure there’s much market for paparazzi there, and he sure won’t be able to get any upskirt shots.

This might be one time when someone is actually praying for jail time.

You won’t have Michael Jackson to kick around any more!

Well, he did it…Michael Jackson, frail and tottering and acting drugged, made the announcement that he is definitely playing London one last time (I’ll still believe it when I see it):

[The] trembling, gaunt figure in front of the microphone stumbled over his words just long enough to tell everyone he loved them – before saying an emotional goodbye. [...]

‘This really is it,’ he said. ‘When I say this is it, it really means this is it.’

And just in case anyone failed to pick up on the message, he added: ‘This is the final curtain call.’

Quite whether that was worth a five-hour wait in the refrigerator temperatures of the 02 Arena was the subject of much discussion afterwards among those who had so loyally endured the queueing marathon.

What was billed as a press conference turned out to be four minutes that failed to change the world. But, don’t worry. There will doubtless be masses of hyped up non-events like this one throughout what is certain to become the Summer of Jacko. [...]

It has been 12 years since he toured, the last several of which have been shadowed by erratic behaviour, tarnished reputation and concerns over his health.

He might have been punching the air and giving victory signs yesterday but his heavily-caked face failed to mask the uncomfortable impression that here was a middle-aged man who looked and acted as if he was on painkillers.

Now, don’t forget this is in London, so you’re going to have to pony up some dough; after you pay air fare, tickets for Michael’s shows should run around $70-$106 USD (£50 and £75 UKP).

Also this week, Britney Spears kicked off her new Circus tour, with tickets going anywhere from $90-$750 a pop.  So, this beggars the question:  In this recession, when people are losing their homes and being laid off left and right and wondering just how they are going to put dinner on the table, would YOU pay that kind of money for tickets?  I think you already know my answer.

Thinking of these two also brought to mind this snippet, talking about how both Brit and Michael are horrors to work with in the recording studio:

If only Britney Spears could sing in studio the way she’s able to cash in on her All American smile she’d be much more pleasant to work with, according to one of her New York record producers. The shapelessness of her psyche during recording sessions transcends into a living recording hell. The incensed producer said Spears has the blank schizoid fever of white southern trash when it comes to laying down her vox. “She’s the only artist I’ve ever worked with where it takes at least 250 takes to record a vocal,” the producer told IUC. “If you could hear just her voice tracks on solo play you’d have to block your ears. You hear the blank tones of her annoying southern drawl. Simon Cowell would have a heart attack hearing her.”
Another pop icon the producer had stirring memories working with was Michael Jackson. “Michael was impossible to deal with from the second he stepped in my studio,” the Grammy award winning producer said. “He requested mineral water from Norway and refused to wear headphones to record his vocal. That’s the biggest nightmare to work with. Imagine, no headphones and all the background noise filtering through. It’s almost impossible to clean up in post production.”

Searching through videos, I found this little gem of Michael and Britney performing together at Madison Square Garden in 2001  (sadly, shortly before the terrorist attacks).  It shows that even as recently as 2001, Michael could still sorta-kinda bring it (even though this was basically a rehash of a previous Grammy performance) and Britney looked pretty good pre-Kevin, although all Brit does is wander back and forth across the stage and shakes her booty a little while leaving Michael to do the actual work.  It just ticks me off that they goofed with a great MJ song…you know, from back when he was actually trying.  Putting Brit’s voice on there made it toothachingly awful…at least we know Michael can sing when he wants to.

Well, y’all enjoy…I’m outta here!

So Britney Spears has finally launched her first tour since the ill-fated Onyx Hotel back in 2004, and from all accounts they rebuilt it, bigger, stronger, faster than before.  It’s got everything…clowns, a big top, Britney in various stages of undress, ninjas, Perez Hilton…wait, Perez?

A red curtain descends upon the stage. Music starts pounding — the drumbeat of the apocalypse — and keeps building, until a lone ballerina and a mime appear. The mime is clutching a piece of chain-link fence, which he begins twirling faster and faster, until it turns into a geometric square. Then three jugglers and a little person take the stage, then Shaolin monks in black robes, who do a martial-arts routine, complete with kitanas and spinning axe kicks. Then clowns come out with nunchucks. They’re followed by acrobats and gymnasts in long flowing robes, performing a routine to the music from “Kill Bill.” Then everyone — mime, clowns, jugglers, little person and monks — do a sort of samba, and then Perez Hilton shows up on the video screens to deliver a monologue while dressed as Queen Elizabeth. Then Britney appears and murders him with a crossbow.

And then the show starts. Seriously.

Apparently, the show could benefit from more songs and less spectacle:

Given the massive size of the center stage (painted to look like a target — we get it, Brit) and the non-stop visual and sonic bombast, the pop princess sometimes got swallowed up. Spark-shooting guns and rings of actual fire couldn’t save one-note songs like Do Something and Slave. Fan-favorite Toxic, however, staged mostly with sci-fi-green lighting effects and a minimalist jungle-gym contraption, succeeded because the focus was solely on the star. And her biggest early hit, …Baby One More Time, stripped away all spectacle, with just her and the dancers stalking the bare stage, and was better for it. [...]

The Circus show packs 17 song segments and every under-the-big-top cliché except Siegfried & Roy’s white tigers into a crowd-pleasing hour and 45 minutes. A comeback, certainly, and a solid one at that. But all the sex, fire and stomp-and-slither choreography can’t disguise the fact that the production needs a bigger, purely musical core (a few more songs from the current album would have helped) — and some spontaneity. It wasn’t until Spears finally called out “Thank you, New Orleans” after finishing her Womanizer encore that the crowd got a glimpse into the heart of their homegirl from Kentwood.

I won’t go into all the details of the show, except to say that it includes four parts (Circus, House of Fun, Freakshow/Peepshow and Electro Circ), includes everything from little people to acrobats to set pieces that fly around to flames to an umbrella, Britney struts around showing off her body in various stages of undress and bondage-wear, and seems to be an ADHD tribute to everything Britney.  Seriously, the first thought that hit my brain was that this seemed to be designed by a kid who didn’t take their Ritalin that day.

(I did notice in some of the photos I’ve seen that one of her outfits is a sparkly bra/corset/hotpants ensemble, which makes me wonder if that was based on what the MTV people wanted her to wear for her ill-fated Gimme More performance.  In other photos, the corset is off.)

I do think it’s hilarious that people are STILL upset that Britney doesn’t sing live at these freak shows.  Are you people serious?  Like I’ve said before, when you go see Britney, you are not going to a concert, and if you show up expecting any sort of concert, you are going to be disappointed.  It’s been proven time and time again that girl just is not a strong singer, she can barely carry a tune, she just doesn’t have the pipes (she ain’t no Tina Turner), and practically everything she does is manufactured in the studio.  No, what Britney does is perform…you are going to see a performance, not a concert.  If you lower your expectations and don’t expect any actual singing, you’ll be okay.

For an example of what I’m talking about:

And it seems that at least one other person agrees with me that what Brit does best is entertain:

Her singing was dominated by a backing track. Her moves were nothing special — defined by much strutting and stripper-like shimmying, with the minimum amount of acrobatics to prove her mettle as a dance-pop queen. Her physical form, still beautiful, didn’t take one’s breath away the way it did when she was 17.

But on Tuesday’s opening night of her “Circus” tour at the New Orleans Arena, Britney Spears, the mighty Aphrodite with the troublesome tawdry streak, nonetheless renewed her claim as one of the world’s most adept manipulators of the public interest. Powering through a 90-minute show that integrated her impetuous teen hits with the more perverse material from the albums she released after a very public breakdown that made her a constant in the tabloids, the Louisiana native flashed her famous good ol’ girl smile at the fans, mostly female, who still find her a worthy patron saint of the erotic arts. [...]

Despite that first-night stumble [she appeared to miss her cue to reappear onstage] and several numbers in which her dancing was no more than adequate, Spears can safely call this performance a success. She apparently has no interest in proving herself as a vocalist; Pink is a better acrobat and her friend Justin Timberlake is a far better dancer.

But anyone who thinks her lackluster would do well to remember what she really is: a burlesque performer, a carny’s dream born a century or so too late to be fated to ply her art upon the midway, but able to fulfill the spectacle of blond ambition now.

I still worry that she’s putting on too much, too fast, since reviews for the opener have been mixed.  I don’t think any of us want a repeat of the past few years, complete with mental breakdown and hospitalization.  I’m hoping for the best, but I’m also hoping the stress doesn’t get to her.  Let’s not forget that she’s still dealing with a mental illness and she still is under a doctor’s care for it.  I worry that the stress of a tour might be too much, but then again maybe keeping herself busy is exactly what Brit needs right now.  Plus, after paying ex Kevin $5000 a week to be there as well, she gets to take her sons with her, which I’m sure is a huge plus for her.

Lastly…some tickets were going for as much as $750 a whack.  I’m sure people are going to line up to spend their mortgage money for one night of watching Brit shimmy around a stage.  I don’t know about you, but there’s no ticket in the world worth $750 to me.  More reasonably-priced tickets went from anywhere from $95-$250, which I think is still pretty steep.  Do people actually have this kind of money to fritter away?  But I guess all this has to be paid for somehow.  Hey, magicians and stripper poles and Kevin Federline ain’t cheap, y’all.

All in all, it seems to be the same thing Brit has offered before, just packaged up in a different way with different fabrics.  Considering we’ve all seen more of Brit’s bits than we ever wanted to see over the past couple of years, the flesh-baring costumes just seem to be the same old/same old (okay, okay, we get it…you’re still sexy, Brit, put it away).  While I’m not crazy about the whore-on-wheels ensembles, girl looks great…about a zillion times better than she’s looked in quite a while now.  Despite what it may sound like, I wish her the best, I truly do; I just hope that this will all be worth it in the end.

Britney’s hairstylist was in court yesterday to give testimony against Sam Lufti, in a hearing to decide whether or not to continue the restraining orders against Osmegma and Adnan Brazilianwax:

“Someone kept calling me from a private number … he said his name was Sam,” Roberta Romero stated Wednesday. “He wanted information about Britney. He said he was on her side. I told him, ‘Leave me alone, stop calling me.’ ”

Lutfi allegedly sent Romero a series of 11 texts within a four day period, saying things like, “Please relay the truth to her. I did not do this to her,” apparently referring to Jamie Spears’s indefinite control over the singer’s life. Lutfi also allegedly texted Romero: “I’ve done everything I can to free her from this. Very close to getting her free now.” On another occasion he allegedly wrote: “I went to court to free her.” Romero says she repeatedly told Lutfi to leave her alone via text. [...]

Romero testified about an evening on Dec. 27 when she and Britney went to watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Lutfi had been sending text messages to Romero that evening, and later, the two women texted back, “Leave me the [expletive] alone.”

At some point that evening, Lutfi texted Romero, “Can you wish her a Merry Christmas for me?” At 2 a.m., the women sought help from the singer’s bodyguard, Itamar Gelbman, who also testified in court.

“[Britney] complained Sam was texting her, and that she’s scared,” Gelbman said in court. “She asked for more patrols [around the house]. She wanted me to do more, to make sure everything was locked. She couldn’t fall asleep because of [Sam's texts to Romero]. She told me to make him stop.” Gelbman says he immediately called Lutfi and told him to leave the women alone.

Lawyers for Jamie Spears said Lutfi had been subpoenaed Tuesday night for cross-examination in court. The process server taped a notice to appear on his car windshield, they said, but Lutfi failed to show up.

It seems that Britney has finally opened her eyes to the evil that is Osmegma bin Luftwaffe and told her friend to stay away from him:

Romero, who has worked as Spears’ stylist for more than a year, said the singer told her to tell Lutfi to leave them alone. Romero and Spears notified the singer’s security staff about Lutfi’s text messages.

Romero said she only spoke to Lutfi once, weeks before Spears’ security became involved. She said he was not threatening over the phone, but that the singer told her to avoid her former friend.

“She told me she’s scared of him and not to talk to him,” Romero said.

Ultimately, the judge decided to extend the restraining order to March 18 and the hearing will resume on April 1…kind of appropriate when you’re dealing with these two fools.

I thought we were done with these two buffoons, but I guess they just can’t take a hint.  Adnan has had his own run-in with the law yesterday when he turned himself in before the popo could grab him on a warrant stemming from a little incident with a Mercedes, a process server, and his front bumper.  And you’ll recall that Osmarmy bin Loopy is suing Brit’s parents for damaging his character.  Yeah.  For reals.

So let’s take a look back at Sam Lutfi and his Magical Dancing Text Messages:

But wait, there’s more…

For reals.  Osmarmy bin Loopy (wow, it’s been forever since I typed that!) is actually suing Jamie and Lynne Spears for, among other things, damaging his reputation:

Jamie and Lynne Spears have publicly blamed Lutfi for the series of emotional crises that led to the singer losing custody of her two sons to ex-husband Kevin Federline in 2007.

And now he is holding Spear’s parents responsible for damaging his reputation by allegedly leaking false information about his conduct to the press.

He has filed suit for compensation in a Los Angeles court, according to PerezHilton.com.

In a statement to the celebrity blogger, Lutfi’s lawyer Bryan Freedman says, “This lawsuit is being brought as a result of the defamation, ridicule and harassment of Sam Lutfi by Jamie Spears and Lynne Spears.

“A thorough investigation has revealed overwhelming evidence from independent witnesses, showing that Lynne Spears knowingly and maliciously publicized devastating false information about Lutfi, which destroyed his reputation, irreparably harmed his career, and subjected him to constant scorn and humiliation.”

Freedman goes on to allege Jamie and Lynne Spears are using Britney for her money, insisting the truth will all come out in court.

He adds, “At the time of the trial in this action, the jury will have an opportunity to weigh the credibility of the witnesses. In doing so, it will be faced with two threshold questions: Why would a supposedly loving mother write a tell all book about the sordid details of two of the most devastating nights of her daughter’s life and go on countless talk shows for her own profit? And why would a loving father who deems his daughter to be incompetent, thrust her into a massive world tour only to subject her to the very limelight that threatened to shatter her life, for something other than his own personal gain?

“The facts of this case will reveal Jamie and Lynne’s conduct in light of these questions. It will unequivocally explain the motivation of two people who are seemingly willing to destroy anyone and anything that gets in the way of their ability to control and profit from their daughter.”

The lawsuit comes less than a week after Britney was granted a temporary restraining order against Lutfi, his attorney Jon Eardley, and her ex-lover Adnan Ghalib.

Well, first, to sue for damaging his reputation he will have to prove he had a good reputation to damage.  Oh snap!

But wait, there’s more…