UPDATE:  CRAP CRAP CRAP.  Why did he have to turn out to be a Scientologist???  I am seriously ticked off.

I suppose I need to do a search every time I write a story about a celeb to see if they belong to the CoS or not.

However, I won’t delete the article because the essence of it is truth.

YES!  A celebrity who isn’t accepting money for shots of their baby.  Usher, who posed for FREE with his son for the upcoming cover of Essence magazine, said there’s no way he’d pimp out his kid for cash:

FINALLY, there’s one celebrity who refuses to cash in on parenthood by selling baby pictures to a magazine. “In no way would I ever pimp out my child for money,” Usher told Page Six.

The pop singer - upset by rumors he was trying to sell photos of his infant son, Usher Raymond V, and eager to defend his wife, Tameka, and his upcoming album, “Here I Stand” - wants to set the record straight.

“I am livid that people talk about my child,” Usher told us. In fact, he has posed - for free - with his son for an “incredible” Father’s Day cover for Essence magazine.

“What makes you a man more than being a father to your child? I recognize I gave anonymity away when I became an artist, but to have people try to paint a horrible picture of what’s so beautiful - it’s obvious someone is trying to stop something so beautiful.”

Now there is a celebrity who’s ideas I can totally get behind.  What he said about anonymity is so true…Usher chose this lifestyle, as so many celebs do, but their kids don’t choose it.  Seriously, he could teach people like Jennifer Lopez and Christina Aguilera and Nicole Richie and Denise Richards and all the other so-called “stars” who whore out their kids for dough a thing or two.

And true…even though Brangelina donated the money they got for the pics of Shiloh to charity (and probably will do the same with shots of the pending baby), the offer of money was still made and they still took it.  Donating the money isn’t wrong…being offered millions of dollars for a shot of a BABY is wrong.  What makes these magazine editors think that a shot of a celeb baby is more important than shots of any other baby in the world, that they have to offer millions of dollars for it?

Oh yeah, the gullibility of the public to swallow any pablum they decide to shove at us and to feed the egos of the celebrities.  What was I thinkin’?

[images removed...People was not happy] 

Or even as much as the dearly deceased Anna Nicole Smith’s.  While Anna’s babydaddy took home a cool $1.7M for photos of the wonky-eyed Dannielynn (don’t be hatin’ on me, she’s adorable, and the eye can be fixed) and Jennifer Lopez and hubby Marc Anthony have reportedly pocketed an embarrassing $6M for photos of their twins, Christina has allegedly had to be content with a paltry $1.5M and no boost in sales of the magazine which paid it:

After giving birth to her son, Max, Christina Aguilera threw a tantrum, according to a source close to the pop star, and fired her day-to-day manager, one of her assistants and her publicity firm BWR.

Christina was quite possibly peeved that the photos of her son did nothing to improve the newsstand sales of the People magazine. Maybe she was jealous that she only pocketed $1.5 million for the tot shots — less than the $1.7 million paid for photos of Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter Dannielynn.

Regardless, X-tina went bananas. “She went crazy,” says an astonished source. While BWR also reps J.Lo, the source said, the firm wasn’t part of the team that secured Friday’s $6 million payout for photos of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony’s twins.

I can tell you why sales of People didn’t skyrocket when Christina’s photo was on the cover…it’s because we don’t care.  Zing!

Not only that, but babymama Nicole Richie is also said to be unhappy that nobody wants to pay top dollar for pictures of little Harlow, who by this point has outgrown her prime photo-selling newborn stage and is getting a bit long in the gum for picture-shopping:

New mom Nicole Richie is also showing symptoms of PPP [postpartum panic], but she is sparing her beleaguered publicists at BWR, placing all the pressure on her longtime manager Benny Medina to find her the biggest possible baby-pix payday.

A source close to the action said Richie is acting “cheap” and trying to wring every cent she can out of the deal.

Okay.  Let’s get something straight here.  I had the cutest newborns ever birthed, and you so-called starlets will just have to settle for second best.

But seriously.  I reiterate my statement that I will personally donate $100 to the charity of choice (even something as frivolous as the “Save The Manolos Foundation”) of any celebrity who comes outside, asks the assembled press if they’d like a shot of the baby, and then come outside and stand for a few minutes with said baby (probably best behind a fence, definitely best with a bodyguard or two) so that some photos can be taken.  Or if they will use the digital camera to snap some candid photos of Junior, run off some copies on the computer, and pass them out to the pap horde assembled outside.  No muss, no fuss, no fanfare, no zillion-dollar payouts, and most importantly…no pimping of the child to mass media.

What are these people going to do with that money, anyway?  Is Christina planning on opening an inner-city mother and child wellness center?  Will Nicole donate her money (all of it) to the Richie-Madden Children’s Foundation?  Will any other pregnant starlet donate all their money to any charitable organization…without press and fanfare, without even letting anyone know that they got paid to begin with?

After all, a newborn is a newborn is a newborn.  Some have more hair than others, some have lighter skin and some have darker skin, some are chubbier and some are leaner, but basically…they all look the same.  Little wrinkly things with floppy necks that drool and poop and sleep.  Look at that photo of Christina and baby Max.  Sure, Max is a cutie, but the photo is all about Christina, with her perfectly coiffed hair, Photoshopped skin, and come-hither gaze.  If it wasn’t, then she would look like the rest of us when we posed with our newborns for pics…with baggy, bloodshot eyes, spotty skin, no makeup, hair that hasn’t been washed since before we went into labor, an old comfy bathrobe tossed on over a nursing gown with two big wet spots on the front, and a big goofy smile on our face because we have the most precious thing in the world in our hands.

Certain starlets would do well to remember that you can’t put a price on a baby.

 

Finally…singer Christina Aguilera has confirmed the obvious, that she’s in the club:

In an interview with Glamour magazine, the 26-year-old singer-songwriter, who has sold more than 30 million albums worldwide, says that she intends to be a working mom who’ll “balance” caring for her child and tending to her career, reports the BBC.

“I want to get it right,” she is quoted as saying.

Describing the reaction of the father-to-be – Aguilera’s husband, music executive Jordan Bratman, 30 – she says, “He’s thrilled! He’s just great.”

Um…HELLO? 

Well, it’s about time.  But, at least she has been going around wearing clothes that don’t hide the pregnancy, even though she didn’t confirm it until now…unlike a certain Latina singer we all know, who lately seems to be getting her clothing made at Georgia Tent and Awning.

See, that makes a certain amount of sense.  She didn’t hide it, she just didn’t talk about it.  But off with the head of anyone who dares mention the word “pregnant” in a certain someone else’s earshot!

Congratulations to mom and dad, and we hope for a healthy baby!