Apparently, over fifty years of refuted clinical scientific data means nothing when you are a celebrity. Clearly having a healthy baby means nothing to certain celebs either.

An article in the New York Post states a very pregnant Nicole Richie has been seen smoking on at least two occasions. Of course we can only imagine what she does when people aren’t around to catch her in the act. Ts, tsk, I really had hoped she’d have better sense. Then again, she’s probably prepping her body for that post-baby weight-loss diet of ciggies and diet Red Bull. You can never be too thin, too rich or too stupid in Hollywood.

Cindy Adams says:

MOMMY-to-be Nicole Richie. 3:30 p.m. Pony tail, black jeans, waistcoat. Exits DaSilvano with one young girl, one middle-age lady. On the sidewalk, after checking who’s at which outdoor tables, she lights up. They jump into a waiting black Caddy Escalade, Nicole into the front seat. Still smoking.

Three days later, 7:30 p.m., Nobu. For somebody who doesn’t eat, she sure frequents lots of restaurants. She’s there with the baby in the bun’s father. They leave. Outside she lights up again.

Now, two cigarettes doesn’t necessarily equal a premature baby, a baby with asthma, an underweight baby or any other host of issues that smoking while pregnant can cause. But it doesn’t help either. I won’t get into the various degrees of how gross and unhealthy smoking is for an adult, because by now, we all know the dangers of smoking.

But to expose your unborn child to any needless toxins shows a real lack of maternal instincts, a vast degree of selfishness and absolutely ZERO discipline.

Whatever, chances were pretty good her baby is already at a major disadvantage anyway, just look at the parents.

 

For years, Kate Moss and Pete Doherty were on again, off again, on again, off again.  They rocked together, drugged together, did horrible videos together, and generally screwed up each others lives whether they were a couple or not.  Stints in rehab, threats of jail, overdoses, nothing could keep these two apart.

Until recently.  Kate, tired of the drama, took up with another guy, rocker Jamie Hince, and Pete trotted down the road to rehab, a path worn bare by his continual and repeated trips there.  Now, there is news that Pete is clean and has become engaged to his new bird, model Irina Lazareanu.

Thing is, they became engaged only after model Kate announced her own “engagement” to her new man.  [cue dramatic music]

But wait, there’s more…

It’s been so long since we had a fresh dose of the world’s dumbest celebutard, but lest ye think she has been curing cancer or solving the world’s energy crisis, rest assured, she hasn’t. In fact, Paris has been doing what Paris does best, selling her essence in the form of consumable goods — in this case more perfume.

This time, her eau de twatlett is called “Can-Can.” Probably because it’s good for clearing the air when you’ve stunk up the can. Seriously, who names a fragrance after something that’s also referred to as a toilet. I can hear it now….

Passerby: “Paris what is that smell?”

Paris: “Oh, you like that, it’s my new fragrance Can-Can”

Passerby: “Your new what?”

Paris: “My new fragrance, it’s called Can-Can. Do you like it?”

Passerby: “Well, if you were going for “truck-stop bathroom after an obese trucker just released his morning constitutional of huevos rancheros with extra jalapenos and cheese” yeah, I like it. It will always remind me of you. You and a hot porta-potty at Lollapalooza!”

Paris: “That’s hot!”

Paris claims to have been inspired by Moulin Rouge, which is appropriate because when I think of Paris, I think of garish strippers, tramps and trollops whoring it up in France. Sort of like the behind-the-scenes photo shoot featured above.

Also, what’s with Paris’ voice? Are her tranny hormones acting up, because she can’t seem to keep in character.

Source - The always in character Dlisted.

Rapper Foxy Brown, who was sentenced to one year in the slammer for violating her probation on charges related to an assault on two manicurists back in 2003, is now stating that she is NOT pregnant, despite a courtroom proclamation to the contrary.

Foxy’s (aka Inga Marchand) rep released a statement. From the article:

In August, defense lawyers told the court that Brown was three months pregnant. But in a statement released Wednesday, her manager, Chaz Williams, said: “And to the pregnancy rumors, this is the official statement: She is not pregnant.”

Well, well, well, isn’t that SPECIAL. Foxy and her crack team of lawyers (yes, they’re on crack) must have cooked up that scam when they saw how well Nicole Richie was treated when revelations of her impeding pregnancy were revealed. The only difference is Nicole doesn’t go around ripping out weaves and busting acrylics on people’s faces. Judges can over look personal indiscretions and victimless crimes — but they generally frown upon violent outbursts that keep occurring. Foxy’s most recent fray occurred last month in Brooklyn, when she hit a women with her cell phone during an argument over the volume of music coming from Foxy’s vehicle.

You might recall that Foxy was also arrested earlier this year for a another fight which broke out in Florida at a beauty supply store. Girlfriend has some issues I’d say.

Worry not rap fans, Foxy isn’t letting this little set back keep her down. In addition to revelations of her non-existent pregnancy (no explanation given, and none needed) Foxy’s record label have announced that despite her lock-down, Foxy has a new album and it will be released while she’s in the slammer.

Brown herself didn’t address the issue of pregnancy in her statement about her new album, “Brooklyn’s Don Diva,” which is set for release Nov. 20. Her new single, “Don’t Surrender,” will be released to radio stations Thursday, Giovanna Melchiorre, a representative for the independent Koch Records, said.

Foxy released an uplifting statement about her incarceration:

“This is just a temporary situation,” Brown said in a statement. “I made my bed and have no problem lying in it. My will is steady. What doesn’t kill me will only make me stronger.”

Is Foxy channeling her inner Kanye? It only makes sense, considering her manager chose to channel his inner Outkast with this statment:

Before Friday’s hearing began, Brown asked Criminal Court Judge Melissa Jackson for a second chance and promised to straighten out her life. But Jackson didn’t budge.

“I’m not going to give you any more chances,” she told Brown.

Williams downplayed the ruling.

“I’m sorry Miss Jackson, we’re not impressed, and definitely not stopping musically,” he said.

I love when supposed professional people use humor to diffuse a situation. It’s so…well, professional.

Anyway, Foxy’s got some serious street cred. Unlike many of her male contemporaries, Foxy’s actually living the dream of ghetto life. She’s like some kind of hood hero. A crazy, unhinged, violent hero!

Well, we know she’s had a lot of practice, so the end result shouldn’t be all that hard for the heiress/ex-con/celebutard to achieve. All she has to remember is to tell the doctor she’s in for a checkup, rather than her routine removal service. Wow, that was mean even for me. Too bad it’s true.

Yes, according to an interview in the Elle (UK), Paris is ready to spawn. Here’s the quote from the saucy tartlet:

“I want kids next year, so I’ve got to get my body ready.”

Another source close to Hilton had this to say about her desire to birth:

“Paris told me, ‘I want lots of babies and a more simple life away from the celebrity spotlight. I did a lot of soul-searching about my partying and then I heard Nicole was pregnant and I decided it’s time for me to grow up and take responsibility - and the best way to do that is to become a mother.’ “

So Paris has equated motherhood with growing up? Who can blame her, look what wonders it’s done for Britney Spears. Clearly, Paris is just jealous about all the attention and special treatment that Nicole Richie has gotten since announcing that she was too stupid to use birth control.

These dumbasses make me want to vomit. Cripes, you just know it’s only a matter of time before Lindsay Lohan’s gonna be popping out some crackheaded kids from her infected womb. Don’t get me wrong, procreation is a fabulous thing, but not for people with raging cases of herpetitis who treat sex like its some kind of cure-all for the itching and burning that’s slowly eating their vaginas away.

I’m not sure what planet these hos have been living on, but there are some things that don’t mix with parenting, like say: coke, heroin, cigarettes, alcohol, crack and infected wangs. That’s just to name a few, and sadly, “a few” is not a term that one could use in reference to the number of sperm donors, lines of coke and orgies any of these “ladies” have dabbled in.

Motherhood doesn’t make you grown up, it just makes you fat and irritable. If these chicks could just be patient, eventually menopause will do the same thing and they wouldn’t have to change one diaper!

 

That’s right folks, Lindsay Lohan, fresh out of her 45-day stay in rehab was busted last night for speeding, driving while under the influence of alcohol AND she will likely be charged with conveyance, as she was found with cocaine on her person after she was taken into custody.

According to various sources AND of course TMZ, Lohan was arrested in Santa Monica in the early hours of Tuesday morning. Police received a tip of a car chasing another car and it appears it was Lindsay, intoxicated and coked out, doing the chasing. Here’s a list of the possible charges:

Lindsay Lohan was popped for possession of cocaine, driving under the influence, transporting a narcotic into a custodial facility and driving on a suspended license. Sources say her blood alcohol level was between .12 and .13, well over the .08 legal limit.

Cops tell TMZ cocaine was found in her pants pocket.

Lindsay’s bail was set at 25K and she has since been released. This is Lindsay’s 2nd DUI and arrest in the past 3 months. She turned herself over to police just this past week for charges stemming from her May 31 crash and 1st DUI. Lindsay will likely do jail time considering the felonies she is facing for the narcotics possession. As for the SCRAM unit she was voluntarily wearing to detect alcohol in her system, well, needless to say that was NOT a deterent. The same could be said for her stay in rehab. Rehab is a real joke I’d say.

Okay, so like Wow! Just friggin’ holy mothereffing WOW!!! Could Lindsay Lohan be any more stupid, reckless, ignorant and pathetic? Wait, don’t answer that question, it was rhetorical. I want to feel sorry for her, I really do. Her mother is possibly the worst mother on record in the history of the human species. Her dad? Well, at least he’s tried to reach out to her, albeit WAY TOO late. And those around her, what kind of bloodsucking vampires must they be? Truly vile and truly evil.

Lindsay will not make it to her 22nd birthday. That’s not a predicition, that is a foregone conclusion. I dare HER to prove me wrong.

G*ddamn this crap is getting old.

John Stamos is a straight up wackadoodle. While doing some promotional tours in the land down under for his show ER, John, who was officially stated as suffering from “exhaustion” and “jet lag” went off the deep end on a morning show called “Mornings With Kerr Ann,” which came after a previous meltdown during an interview with the Daily Telegraph’s Steven Downie. Afterwards, Mr. Downie suggested, er, implied, er made mention about his ‘odd behavior’ in an article.

I don’t see what the big deal is, isn’t everyone in Hollywood a sloppy, old slut on junk? Whatever the case, Mr. Stamos (or Blackie as I remember from back in the GH days) has been sent home to get some “rest.”

Cripes give the guy a break. When I flew to Australia, after boarding 5 different planes to get there I acted a little weird too. If I remember correctly at customs when they asked if I had an food or liquids to declare, I whipped out my engorged breasts and fired off a couple of warning shots to the uniformed officials and then I dropped my pants and suggested they check down under ‘cuz I couldn’t remember what I was packing.

That’s how we roll in the U.S. ya jackholes.

These two crackheads (which is NOT a euphemism) have recorded a new video of the two of them attempting some kind of duet,doing the same song, but now while wearing some clothes they stole from George Harrison’s corpse.

Pete’s fiddling on the guitar and Kate’s like an ugly bird sitting on his shoulder whistling and cursing. That said, of all the couples in the world, these two are the most genuine and in love, because to tell you the truth, only love (and street-grade drugs) could keep these two together. Kate’s a complete mess and I’ve seen dumpsters AND homeless gentlemen with better hygiene than Pete.

So kids, if you are watching this, let this be a lesson to you. Crack is whack and unless you want to keep singing the same sorry tune looking like a couple of toothless back alley semen receptacles, you best just lay off the pipe.

News Of the World, the fine folks who brought us pictures of Lindsay Lohan snorting lines of coke in the loo, has now obtained some frightening pics of Lilo playing with knives.

Lindsay, who entered rehab at Malibu Promises last week, is seen holding a knife to a friend’s throat and also putting a knife in her own mouth. Never one to avoid a photo op, Lindsay appears quite out of it in these pictures taken at a house party four months ago. This once again proves that Lindsay’s first visit to rehab was NOT successful, much like her efforts to find trustworthy and good-hearted friends. Lindsay must have been coked-out-of this-universe to allow such candid shots of herself to be taken.

I must say, Ms. Lohan has made some outrageously stellar choices in friends. And when I say “friend” in Lindsay’s case what I mean is: people who would drug you, rape you, steal your wallet, hump your corpse, run over your dog, stab your grandmother, mooch your drugs, spit in your beer, leave you stranded, let your wear something that makes you look fat, screw your boyfriend, and possibly take unflattering and incriminating photos of you while you’re high on illegal substances. Real pals, that’s what I’m saying.

Lindsay, when you get out of rehab (if you get out) here’s a definition of a friend. Write this down, refer to it often, and make a mental note, for this information will serve you well in life.

A Friend is someone who looks out for you, who holds your secrets in confidence, who has your back when needed and who tells you the truth, not just what you want to hear. A friend is someone who would tell you if the guy you liked hit on them, rather than making out with them. A friend is someone who might take a silly photo of you, but also let’s you watch them delete it. A true friend is someone you can have fun with WHILE NOT fried out of your mind.

And ultimately Lindsay, a friend is someone who you choose, not who fate has chosen for you. A real friend doesn’t want anything from you, they don’t care about how much money you have or what you can do for them, they just care about you.

I think it’s safe to say that you don’t have any of these in your life, so how about you dump all these other a-holes and start all over? Your mom is not your friend, btw, that’s not her job. If she isn’t doing her job, you should fire her ass too.

Also, one last thing, in order to have a true friend, you need to be a true friend. Perhaps start with yourself and then work your way up to others, ‘cuz if you don’t like yourself, how can anyone else like you.

No need to thank me Lindsay, I’m just telling you what any person who actually cared about you should have told you long ago.

Everything you wanted to know about Phil Spector, but were too afraid to ask - Radar Online

And if that wasn’t enough of the murderous rock producer, check here, here and here. - Blogcritics.org

A long, and informative list of the shortest marriages in Hollywood - Superstar Couples

Why Natalie Portman is possibly the only young actress worth liking these days - Pop On The Pop

American Idol, the new breeding ground for talent, er trollops - IDLYITW

Some of the funniest celeb gossip around, seriously, go get your fill - CelebNewsWire

And now, for something completely different, LXTV - LXTV