My theory on Hollywood and the Entertainment Industry is that these two fake entities are a parallel to the experiences of junior high school: full of dicks, nerds, dweebies, geeks, freaks and kids who think they are popular.

So it shouldn’t surprise anyone that a dick and a freak are having a little pissing contest to see who is the biggest f-tard. In this case, I think the dick wins.

Allow me to illuminate you. Apparently, Hello-Kitty fetishist Mariah Carey started a fight with Mr. Headcase Eminem. At some point these two were rubbing their fuzzy nubs on each other, but that crab-infested coupling went sour, and now, instead of ignoring each other like any normal 36 and 39-year old should, they have decided to channel their inner 14-year old.

From the Examiner:

The love triangle between Eminem, Mariah Carey, and Nick Cannon has taken another turn. Eminem released a diss track aimed at the newlyweds titled The Warning.

The Warning is essentially Eminem demanding that the couple stop taking shots at the Detroit MC. Maybe Eminem’s memory has been affected by his many years of drug addiction, because he’s fired unwarranted shots at Carey for the last seven years.

With the release of Eminem’s Relapse, he took another shot at Carey and her husband prompting the couple to respond. On Bagpipes from Baghdad Slim Shady raps, “Nick Cannon you [expletive], I wish you luck with the [expletive] whore/Every minute there’s a sucker born.”

Cannon said in his blog, “So, Miss Marshall, I’m going to make you wish you never spoke my name and regret the ungodly things you said about my wife. This is going to be fun! It’s however you want it! Just remember, you did this to yourself! Your legacy has now been tainted from this day forth! You will now be known as the rapper who lost to corny-ass Nick Cannon!”

Carey then released the video and song for Obsessed mocking Eminem. Carey sang, “Why you so obsessed with me?/Lying that you’re sexin’ me/It’s clear that you’re upset with me.”

Eminem responded by releasing his most inspired song in years,The Warning. Eminem rhymes, “It’s a warning shot ‘fore I blow up your whole spot/Call my bluff and I’ll release [everything] I got.”

This battle clearly ranks as one of the all time corniest battles in rap history. Will Nick Cannon even respond to the The Warning? Stay tuned.

So, I listened to “The Warning” (cue two eye-rolls and a withering side-eye) and not only is NOT catchy, a serious no-no in my book of snarky comebacks, but it goes WAY beyond what is okay. It’s pretty damn repulsive, which, pretty much describes Eminem when he is sucking…something he’s done A LOT lately.

Artistically speaking, I’d prefer to listen to Eminem ANYDAY over Mariah Carey. I actually dig some of Eminem’s music a lot (just ask my iPod), but what I don’t dig is immaturity played out for all the world to see. Like all constants in the universe, I expect grown men and women to possess a level of maturity that reflects their age, and this lame-ass bullshit sets a very bad example to the world at large.

In essence, Eminem has not only made baby Jesus cry (and probably Mariah and Nick) with this adolescent drivel, but he’s helping the terrorists win. And that’s just UNAMERICAN.

Em you get a thumbs down on this one, in fact, if you are trying to prove you don’t have feelings for Mariah I’d say you just got an F, for fail. Next time why don’t you just pull her pigtails and push her into the dirt and spare us the drama.

That said, ball’s in your court Mimi.

Update: For those who have standards in their musical listening tastes and don’t want to listen to Mr. Mathers (Miss Mathers to you) dope track, Heckler Spray hilariously breaks this hissy-fit down for you:

It all stems from the relationship that Eminem and Mariah Carey had back in 2001, during one of the brief windows where Mariah wasn’t having a mental breakdown and Eminem wasn’t busy divorcing and remarrying his wife. Eminem referred to the relationship in his song Bagpipes From Baghdad, which we haven’t heard because it’s got the words ‘bagpipes’ and ‘Baghdad’ in the title and therefore probably sounds like a goat having its diaphragm pummelled.

But anyway, whatever Eminem said in the song, it was enough to make Mariah Carey dress up as a man and call Eminem a liar in her new song, entitled Obsessed. And this, somewhat inevitably, has caused Eminem to write another song about Mariah Carey, The Warning, in which he variously:

* Threatens to release a number of intimate phonecalls and photographs from their time together

* Describes an encounter where he accidentally ejaculated onto Mariah Carey’s stomach

* Calls Mariah Carey an ‘alcoholic’, a ‘liar’ and a ‘whore’

* Inevitably opens the door for Mariah Carey to release yet another song about Eminem – possibly accompanied by a video where she’s dressed up as a monkey or a unicorn or something – that goes on and on and on and on and on and forces Emimen to write yet another poxy bloody song about her.

Cripes, each day I scour the tabloid rags and read about these emotionally stunted celebrities and their foolish antics and I just scratch my head (dandruff perhaps?). Hollywood is sincerely, just a more glamorous version of high school and isn’t that just really, really sad?

Ultimately it’s boring, repetitive and stupid, which is why I don’t post as much as most other celeb sites, because frankly, these people, ahem, bore the sh*t out of me. Sure, I want to comment on why Lindsay Lohan can’t keep her snatch covered (even when she seems to be sporting some kind of venereal sore), or why Heidi and Spencer are the two biggest twats on the planet, or why Jennifer Aniston can’t seem to wrangle a decent man, or whatever dumb stuff these tabloids come up with, but I guess I am just too lazy to force myself to pretend it’s worth writing about.

But then, sometimes, you come across such flagrant assholishness that even a jaded, professional tabloid-hound like me can’t it pass up. This is one of those stories.

Ashlee Simpson, little sis of fatty-bo-batty Jessica Simpson, is married to that fruity-ish fellow from Fall Out Boy, Pete Wentz. Don’t ask me how these two became an item, except it has something to do with “selling out,” “being inauthentic” and “downright sucking” but alas, they formed a union and then spawned a little fameling named Bronx Mowgli. Why yes, that is the dumbest baby name ever. No offense Bronx, but your name is lame.

Apparently, before Ashlee (Ashhole, or Asslee as she’s affectionately known) hooked up with Pete, he dated that little lass best known as Dawn Summers from Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Michelle Trachtenberg.

I have nothing against Michelle, as she keeps her crotch covered and her face out of the tabloids — that’s golden for me. But even her presumed innocence couldn’t keep Hollyweird from tainting her with its foul stain. More from the SF Chronicle:

Ashlee Simpson has apologized to her husband’s ex-girlfriend Michelle Trachtenberg after launching a vicious verbal attack on the actress at a party in Los Angeles on Monday night.

The singer/actress attended the DJ Hero party at L.A.’s Wiltern Theater with her husband Pete Wentz, and the couple was seated close to the “Gossip Girl” star, who dated the Fall Out Boy rocker before his marriage.

The pop star is reported to have been furious about the slip-up, with a source telling celebrity blogger Perez Hilton, “She (Simpson) was staring directly at Michelle and starting hurling insults at her. Pete looked mortified.”

Partygoers then allegedly restrained Simpson when the scrap escalated.

And now a spokesperson for the star has issued a statement about the incident, insisting Simpson has since made peace with Trachtenberg and apologized for her behavior.

The rep tells America’s OK! magazine, “It was just a misunderstanding. Ashlee has since apologized to Michelle and they remain on good terms.

What the SF article doesn’t mention is a classy quote from Ashlee on the night in question. After taunting and harassing poor Michelle all night, she put the icing on the cake with this gem:

“I hope you know, the whole time you were dating Pete, I was fucking him!”

Holy Grow The Eff Up Dumbass! What the hell kind of self-esteemed challenged dipshit says crap like this? It’s not like Michelle WAS with Pete AFTER Ashlee and had stolen the little troll from her. And more importantly, and certainly more SIGNIFICANTLY, who fights over a guy like Pete Wentz? Methinks Ashlee has some major inferiority issues to overcome and I’d strongly suggest she get that nonsense worked out before she gives birth to any more children.

Now before you call me bitter, old, mean and cranky (which I am) this isn’t the first time Asslee’s let the drink get the best of her. I offer exhibit A.)

While I do feel cheap and dirty talking about this immature incident, I would like to point out that this further illustrates to the world, that by putting these poptarts on a pedestal, we’re only encouraging their already anti-social traits.

Ashlee, just because you apologized doesn’t mean we forgive you, you best lay off the sauce, no one likes a rude drunk.

And as for you Pete Wentz, in the infamous words of Andy Stizter in the 40-Year Old Virgin (at the 3:21 mark): “You should keep your ho on a leash…Bitch’s running wild man!”

News broke yesterday about famed celebrity biographer Andrew Morton’s new book subject, Angelina Jolie. While we had sources confirm this to us a while back, Glosslip is like the Fort Knox of secrets and we keep ours close to the vest.

Andrew Morton, who made headlines in 2008 with his controversial unauthorized Tom Cruise biography, is embarking on what might be the biggest challenge in his literary career. And that’s saying something, considering Morton is the man behind the Princess Diana story, telling of her private pain as Princess of Wales, as well as having made a permanent enemy of Madonna by revealing her many controlling ways and exposing the behind the scenes secrets of Presidential mistress Monica Lewinsky. Morton has secured his place in the best-seller hall of fame with his series of thoughtfully researched (and unauthorized) biographies.

We were able to track down the reclusive writer and get a statement on this new book (which we CAN’T WAIT to read). When I asked Morton why he chose the relatively young, but attention-getting Jolie, Morton had this to say:

“AJ is one of the most fascinating women on the planet. Hers has been an extraordinary journey and it is an extraordinary story. I am looking forward to telling it.”

Short and sweet, but concise. Angelina, already known for her wild behavior, strange relationships and humanitarian work, became an international celebrity sensation when she was linked to mega star Brad Pitt (when he was still married!)

There has been endless speculation and fascination surrounding Jolie’s role in the demise of one of Hollywood’s golden couples, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, who divorced in 2005 coincidentally, after Pitt and Jolie teamed up to work on the hit movie, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

Here’s more on the new project and Morton from the Telegraph:

Miss Jolie’s colourful life will provide plenty of material. Twice divorced, she has had a long-running feud with actor father Jon Voight and has adopted a string of children.

Professionally, she has risen to become one of Hollywood’s leading actresses, starring in films including Lara Croft Tomb Raider, A Mighty Heart, The Good Shepherd and Changeling. It was on the set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith that she met her now partner, Brad Pitt, with whom she has adopted several children.

The couple are also famed for their humanitarian work in the world’s trouble spots and Miss Jolie is a UNHCR Goodwill Ambassador.

Mr Morton’s unauthorised book about the star will reportedly be produced by US publishing giant St. Martin’s Press next winter.

His previous work includes the 1992 exposé Diana, Her True Story, for which the Princess of Wales was later revealed to have been the main source.

More recently, a biography of Tom Cruise brought legal threats after Morton suggested the Top Gun star had tailored his life to helping further the cause of the Church of Scientology and had become its de-facto second-in-command.

Mr Cruise has vehemently denied Morton’s allegations

There is zero doubt that Morton will shed some much needed light into many of the untruths spread by Angelina Jolie’s PR machine and we should expect to find some secrets revealed about her and Brad’s intimate relationship, most especially, when it REALLY began and how far they were both willing to go to protect their reputations, while deftly throwing Brad’s ex, Jennifer Aniston under the bus!

Stay tuned for more on this book!

WHORE PIT VIPERS!!!

When the Apprentice first aired, I was mildly interested and watched it for a while. I liked the challenge of putting myself in the contestant’s shoes and would try to figure out my plan of assault on the tasks given by “The Donald”.  *cringe* We’ll get to him later.

I lost interest in the show, when it turned into Celebrity Apprentice. In the beginning, I thought “Oh! this will be interesting!” But eh, it wasn’t. It was more about what celebrity had the best connections or BFF’s who can contribute the most money. The celebrities were often paired with Olympic gold medal winners or sports figures, and just recently, a champion poker player. And although these people may be well know in their own circles, they didn’t possess the networking connections that some of the stars had, and so I thought the whole thing was kind of dumb. 

A perfect example was during last season’s show, when Stephen Baldwin called his bro Alec to come down and fork over a few thou for Stephen’s team. Where’s the competition and sportsmanship in that? I preferred it when the regular people had to duke it out and not be able to pick up a phone for help. It made the challenge much harder to achieve, and of course, most didn’t have the egos that these stars have — with the exception of the still un-famous (or should I say infamous) Omarosa. Ick!

“Celebrity Apprentice” turned the show into nothing more than a ”PR for the star” show, with one redeeming quality of a charity benefiting in the end from the winner.

NBC has signed “The Apprentice” for another season starting next spring, and I won’t be tuning in then either. But there one was thing that happened during this season’s “Celebrity Apprentice” which really piqued my interest. I caught a clip on E! Online of  this season’s star contestants, Melissa Rivers (who I always felt looked like the love child of Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, no offense Steven) AND her Siamese-twin mom Joan Rivers having total hissy fits.

The mother/daughter duo became incensed when Melissa was fired by the Donald. I have to admit, I find so much enjoyment out of watching a good train wreck every now and then. It always makes me feel better about me and my own family. Especially when it involves two people that already make my skin crawl.  So I watched the whole four minute clip and it was without a doubt, four minutes of some of the best  “Bitchdom” I have seen in a while.

Melissa turned into a giant BITCH BALL. (a lovely term my family uses on me when I am being…well…a bitch ball) And, not surprisingly, Joan didn’t fair any better. Now, this is going to get ugly, so if you are “Rivers” fans, you may want to leave. Buh-bye!

The mother-daughter duo from hell obviously agreed to be on the show together. Natch, because everyone knows they are welded at the hip. Initially, I was surprised Joan could tear herself away from QVC, where she is the queen of hawking her overpriced gawd-awful JUNK jewelry, sunglasses, handbags AND makeup. Every time I am flipping through the channels, there’s Joan telling Juanita in Oklahoma how stunning she will look in her “On Trend Must Have Tailored Strap Watch”.

So why would Joan agree to be on “Celebrity Apprentice” and miss those golden opportunities to whore herself on QVC?  Free promotion of course!!

Joan has a line of jewelry, appropriately titled ” Board Room Collection” to hock and what better place to hock it.  QVC ’s website shamelessly lists the air times for “Celebrity Apprentice” and you can also vote on which necklace Joan should wear on the show! I kid you not.

PA-LEASE PEOPLE GET A LIFE! 

So there’s that PR I was telling you about. After all, doesn’t everyone want to wear giant plastic hoops with rhinestones to a board meeting? (And if anyone reading this buys anything from the Board Room Collection, I want 10%  Joan…hey! it only fair! )

I remember way back when Joan and Melissa used to do the commentary from the red carpet. I unfortunately caught an episode once, and it was one of the most sickening displays of nepotism that I have ever had the displeasure of seeing.  They would trash what stars were wearing, and Melissa would be embarrassed to death by her mother’s babbling. Especially after Mumsy had a few nips.  I found it hysterical that these beeyotches had the audacity to poo poo what people were wearing, especially when they don’t have a lick of fashion sense themselves. 

Surely I am not the only one who has noticed that both of their faces have morphed into scary leprechauns with stiff smiles.  Careful ladies, don’t smile too hard, you may just pop a stitch! Joan’s doctor must be one crazy wealthy man with a swimming pool full of botox! Everybody in the pool!

I know Joan jokes about all the face lifts shes had, which IMO has definitely began as an addiction, but one more face-lift for her, and she will be sporting her “hoo-ha” as a goatee on her chin. 

The "Morphing" Begins

So, back to the hissyfits.

But wait, there’s more…

Well, well, well. It seems Mrs. Kate Gosselin can’t control EVERYTHING in her life, despite her valiant efforts. The angry mom from popular TLC show, “Jon and Kate Plus Eight”, has yet another reason to rip her hubby Jon a new one.

Just last week Glosslip’s Queen wrote about TLC renewing the reality show for another season, (Season 5) which follows the family of 10, including sextuplets around as they live their busy, but indulgent lives. Kate, who is a frequent target on parenting blogs for her over-the-top bitchiness, has been out promoting her latest book, while hubby Jon, seems to have been out chatting up the ladies. Here’s the scoop:

Jon & Kate Plus 8 dad Jon Gosselin is admitting he “showed poor judgment” by leaving a bar at 2 a.m. with a mystery woman and without his wedding band — while his wife Kate was across the country promoting a book.

“Like most people, I have male and female friends, and I’m not going to end my friendships just because I’m on TV,” the dad of 8 tells Extra. “However, being out with them late at night showed poor judgment on my part.”

“What makes me sick is that my careless behavior has put my family in this uncomfortable position,” he continues. “My family is the most important thing in my life and it kills me that these allegations have hurt them.”

A clubgoer tells the newest issue of Us Weekly that Jon “could barely walk” after spending nearly three hours with a mystery woman he referred to as “babe.” After being spotted by photographers, the two hastily sped off in a car without turning on the headlights.

Jon told Us in an emailed statement that he went to Legends Lounge — near the $1.3 million family home in Wernersville, Pennsylvania — that night to “speak to the owner. A friend of mine wanted to check out my car, so I let her drive it to her car.”

But this isn’t the first time Jon has seemingly strayed.

In February, the 32-year-old was spotted flirting with — and even attempting to kiss — coeds at Juniata College, multiple students confirm to Us Weekly. (He denied any wrongdoing.) He told one coed “he was getting divorced.” In the May Ladies Home Journal, he says, “I always thought I would be, like, 54 years old and marry a 19-year-old or something.”

Poor judgment eh? Well, a part of me can’t help but gloat about these two attention-whores being hoisted by their own petards. Not to overload on the cliches, but if you live by the sword, then you die by the sword. It’s a bit difficult for me to believe that Jon and Kate think they can manipulate the media and the masses for a hefty profit by pimping our their kids and marriage, and then be shocked when they are caught acting like fools.

It wouldn’t surprise me if this were all a publicity stunt orchestrated by Kate herself to drum up attention for their new season. As we reported, it is alleged the Gosselin’s make $25k per episode of their show, not to mention the book royalties, endorsement deals and freebies. There is NOTHING Kate wouldn’t do to increase her bottom line, including pimp out her husband for publicity.

Then again, if he really is stepping out on Kate, who could blame him. Based on the show’s “reality”, Jon is treated to the worst kind of henpecking and abuse at the hands of his wife and family.

Truth or publicity stunt? What do you think? I am sure this blog is ALL over it

Papa Knowles, who is also Beyonce’s main PR pimp, was livid his money-making machine was being disparaged in the media yesterday after an alleged tape aired on the Howard Stern show of Beyonce singing like a wounded animal. Mathew Knowles gave a statement on the matter, which TMZ now admits was a hoax (nice job losers)!

In a fiery statement to TMZ, Mathew Knowles, who’s also Bey’s manager, says his daughter was set up. It’s one of the best statements we’ve ever gotten.

“If no one took the time to look at the biggest Inauguration in the history of America then shame on them.

If no one took the time to listen to Beyonce sing ‘America the Beautiful’ and ‘At Last’ at the Neighborhood Ball for the first dance of President Obama and the First Lady, and they question Beyonce’s vocal ability, they’ve gotta be an idiot.

At 12 years into her career, the last thing someone should be questioning is her vocal ability.

That would be like questioning if Kobe Bryant could shoot a jump shot. The vocals were obviously altered.”

So there you have it, the good news is Beyonce CAN sing. The bad, she’s still married to Jay-Z.

This is the best video I could find of Jennifer Aniston and Jack Black presenting the award for the Best Animated Film at last night’s 81st Oscars. Proving that we as a public are still fascinated by the Brangelina vs. Jennifer Aniston saga, the show presenters panned to Jolie during the presentation. Both tacky and totally expected (and required).

Jennifer looked nervous and tore the hell out that envelope and she did stumble a bit at the beginning of the presentation, but hey, she got up there, got through it and didn’t blow a gasket.

For Angelina’s part, she put her best fake smile on and you know she was shooting pity daggers at poor Jennifer. Both women looked gorgeous, although Jen’s hair was frizzy and Angelina wore jewelry that resembled something you’d win in a gumball machine.

Who won that showdown? Mostly a draw, although Jennifer gets props for going out there in front of her ex-husband and his mistress, merely feet away in front of the whole world. Ask Debbie Reynolds how she’d feel doing to same in front of Elizabeth Taylor and Eddie Fisher.

I know it’s a shameless case of schadenfreude for me to feel a sense of pleasure that neither Angelina or Brad won an Oscar, but for those who don’t think that Hollywood pays attention to shady behavior and refuses to reward it, think again. Why do you think Tom Cruise has never won an Oscar? Shady cults are frowned on too.

Although I swore off Krispy Kremes for life some time ago, this does NOT mean I don’t appreciate their mouth-watering goodness. When I lived in Virginia, oh so many years ago, I was a stone’s throw away from a Krispy Kreme and you could set your clock to the wafting of confection goodness pouring out their bakery when a fresh batch of donuts came off the line. Honestly, when I think of home spun American patriotism and what is right in this country, I think of Krispy Kreme. Well, maybe not, but I sure don’t think of abortions either.

Apparently, a pro-life group (I guess that makes me pro-death) is all up in arms about a goodwill campaign launched by the donut makers to celebrate the inauguration of our 44th president. Sadly, the Krispy Kreme execs picked what has turned out to be a poor “choice” of words (pun intended!).

Here’s more about this sugary tempest in a teapot:

Krispy Kreme is giving away a free donut to every customer tomorrow, in honor of Obama’s inauguration and to celebrate “freedom of choice.” Naturally this is liberal-speak for “ABORTION DONUT,” so the American Life League is now protesting Krispy Kreme and condemning their free donut day. How cheery.

Here’s the actual press release from Krispy Kreme:

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc. (NYSE: KKD) is honoring American’s sense of pride and freedom of choice on Inauguration Day, by offering a free doughnut of choice to every customer on this historic day, Jan. 20. By doing so, participating Krispy Kreme stores nationwide are making an oath to tasty goodies — just another reminder of how oh-so-sweet “free” can be.

“Krispy Kreme is taking the inaugural festivities nationwide,” said Ron Rupocinski, executive chef for Krispy Kreme. “We’re inviting our fans in cities across the country, including Washington, D.C., to commemorate this historic day with a favorite American treat.”

The Inauguration Day promotional offer is good for one doughnut of choice per customer on Jan. 20. No purchase is necessary. “

And of course what did the American Life League have to say about this offensive offer of sweet, sweet evil:

President-elect Barack Obama promises to be the most virulently pro-abortion president in history. Millions more children will be endangered by his radical abortion agenda. Celebrating his inauguration with ‘Freedom of Choice’ doughnuts – only two days before the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision to decriminalize abortion – is not only extremely tacky, it’s disrespectful and insensitive and makes a mockery of a national tragedy.

Actually what I heard was that President Obama is going to personally be administering abortions (especially those pesky late-term ones) from the Oval Office. Talk the talk, walk the walk, that’s how he rolls.

If this is the beginning of the kind of madness the far-right is going to be distracting us with for the next four years, I might as well mark my spot in the bread line. Honestly, don’t we have bigger issues than worrying about a bunch of whackadoodles false perceptions about a company who wants to give out a tasty treat?

Now, as for the American Dental Association, they might have some issues with this!

p.s. I wonder if you can use a Krispy Kreme donut as some form of birth control. Like if you squint a bit, it looks like some kind of prophylactic device I saw in health class like 50 years ago. hmm…maybe there is something to this.

Rumors keep circulating that Elisabeth Hasselbeck maybe leaving The View. I don’t watch The View, but I do enjoy the beatdowns which take place on the show. All the women on there have a tendency to put their feet in their mouths pretty often. I suppose that’s the nature of a show airing different people’s opinions. And while I have no love for Hasselcrack’s limited world-view or shallow soundbite driven thoughts on weighty matters, I don’t envy her either. It’s got to really suck being the sole conservative voice on a show clearly outnumbered with liberal ideology.

Who would like those odds? To Elisabeth’s credit, she does take a stand and tries very hard to get her point across, and it’s important in a democracy that many voices be heard from the various viewpoints out there, I just wish she’d find a more tolerable tact in which to express her opinion. She’s either glowering, twitching or having meltdowns whenever anyone dares question her “facts” or viewpoint, and this really doesn’t help her make a strong argument.

I truly wish a charismatic female leader would emerge who embodies intelligence, wisdom, diplomacy and grace – with a sprinkling of fierceness – for my daughter and other females to look up to. Hillary didn’t seem to have it, Sarah Palin gets failing marks and the rest of these talking heads are difficult to watch. Is there anyone out there who can fill the void?

By all means, show yourself WOMAN!

According to an article on Yahoo News, serial baby-adopter and homewrecker, Angelina Jolie has checked into a hospital in Nice, France to give birth to her twins. Angie, and partner Brad, already have four children, Maddox, 6, Pax, 4, Zahara, 3, Shiloh, 2.

A spokesperson for the hospital claims Angie’s admittance to the maternity wing of the hospital was planned.

Since this is a still developing story, stay tuned for a full-eclipse of the sun and multiple rainbows to break out around the world as a indication that Angie and Brad have added two little bundles to their growing brood.

Good luck Angie, we here at Glosslip hope you and your babies are healthy and well. We also hope you are close to filling that gaping void in your life and the karmic hole you created by breaking up a marriage, so that perhaps now you will finally have enough distractions from your internal guilt to be at peace.

Why yes, I did say that. Ok, let the Brangeloonies loose!