VS.

The only thing more unsavory than writing about celebs, is writing about sites who write about celebs. It’s a well known fact (at least to us) that Glosslip thinks Gawker is force-fed on over-priced wine and cheap pate. Just because they own a thesaurus, this has somehow given them the impression they are cooler than the rest of us “hacks.” The reality is, their parading themselves around like the school valedictorian is just a sham to cover up for the fact, that they like all of us in this business, want to be the slutty cheerleader who gets to toss off the quarterback. It’s a blog eat blog world.

Some background to this sissy-fight. TMZ, the brain-child of Harvey Levin did something tasteless yesterday, and this got Gawker all in a tizzy. The original post has been edited, but according to Gawker, TMZ reported American Idol finalist Elliot Yamin’s mother died, and they used the opportunity to make a tasteless joke. Gawker says:

“They made fun of someone’s dead mother. In a piece posted yesterday afternoon they wrote: “The mother of ‘American Idol’ contestant Elliott Yamin died last night in Richmond, Va. She was 65.

 Claudette Yamin had been hospitalized over the weekend…
Yamin finished in 3rd place in 2006 on ‘Idol,’ behind Katharine McPhee and Taylor Hicks — who, like Mrs. Yamin, will never be heard from again.” Commenters were upset in their usual thoughtful, Socratic way and TMZ eventually acknowledged the thoughtless remarks toward the end of the day. Mind you I say “acknowledged,” not “apologized for.”

Yep, that’s tacky. Then again, this is tabloid journalism, decorum is a rarity. Gawker postulates on why they are in fact BETTER than TMZ:

You know what’s funny about TMZ? No, I’m… uh, I’m actually asking. The site is so screechy and repugnant that I always have to click away before I can remember to look for anything remotely amusing. The way they eagerly roll around in pop shit and gleefully smear it everywhere, because it’s so campy and naughty, reminds me of the dumb queens from high school and their haggish friends who would shriek and think they were hysterical because they said “cum dumpster.” I can find nothing entertaining or redeeming in any of the site’s content. It’s all just base and poorly written and arbitrarily amoral. I’m just as complicit in the whole awful celebrity-industrial complex as they are, but good god let’s try to have a little style while we ruin people’s lives, eh? Shut this thing down, please. Oh, and the wretched TV show too. There is no reason to see and hear Harvey Levin and his army of smug little shits every goddamn day.

They easily could have reported the debased incident and left it at that, then again, Gawker really is the tattle-tailing type. When I picture Gawker in my head, (really a collective of writers) I picture the class suck-up who does extra-credit to boost their already weighted 4.25 GPA to cover up for the fact they masturbate constantly to pictures of Hillary Clinton (old school style). You just know they were the kid the teacher put in charge when she left the room, and while everyone else was drawing penises and boobs on the chalkboard, they were taking detailed notes to hand in assuring detentions for everyone. Lulzkillers, that’s Gawker.

Maybe it’s a NY vs. LA thing, but there’s something very ironic and sort of sad when a site which prides itself on being some sort of intellectual standard for “tabloid” journalism starts wagging its finger at the trouble-makers.

Not only is Gawker not qualitatively different from TMZ, both shoving and pushing to bring you their own brand of tawdriness, but with Gawker you are forced to swallow the stagnant air of pretentiousness they blanket their reporting with.

At least TMZ doesn’t pretend to be something more than they are: a greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray. Whereas Gawker thinks if you dress it up with sprig of parsley you suddenly have yourself a picnic al fresco.

Hey, does that make Glosslip a palette cleanser?

Sorry there’s been a bit of lag in celeb reporting lately…I took Good Friday off and then, over the weekend, the flu hit.  I managed to avoid it for almost the whole flu season, but it finally found me.  I’m still a bit shaky and wobbly and icky and bedheaded and feverish, but I’ll try to get some new stuff up for your reading and voyeuristic pleasure.  Keep watching, it’ll be between periods of laying in bed and moaning. </shameless plea for sympathy>

So speaking of beds, moaning, and nasty viruses that turn your body into a disease-riddled shell of its former self…the annulment of Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon’s marriage came through:

The marriage was annulled on grounds of fraud. Initially, when Pam filed legal papers back in December, she was asking for a straight divorce. But on February 22, documents were filed asking for an annulment, citing fraud.

Sources tell TMZ both Rick and Pam privately stipulated to fraud — that Pam promised Rick they would have children together. As we reported, Pam was pregnant at the time the couple separated. Shortly after the separation, we learned Pam was no longer pregnant. Subsequently both Rick and Pam filed annulment papers.

Oh yeah, those famous disappearing babies of Pam’s.  As I recall, she tried this with Kid Rock, too…calling him when she was in Canada filming Blonde and Blonder with Denise Richards (boycott!) saying she was having a miscarriage, and when he skipped his basketball game (floor seats for the Lakers, mind you) and rushed to be at her side, she was partying without a care in the world.

And I love the way they say she was “no longer pregnant”.  So, was she never pregnant to start with, or was she pregnant and made a little visit to a clinic?  I’m voting for the former, although the latter wouldn’t surprise me.  Hey, Pam, you can count to fourteen, right?  And Rick…they’re called condoms, use ‘em.

You gotta love Hollywood.  An annulment.  It’s like it never happened…except for those of us in the blogosphere.  We do not forget.  Expect us.

(oh wait, that’s a completely different category)

If you are an Ethan Hawke fan, I recommend you close your browser now, because this won’t be pretty.

Ehthan Hawke and his children’s nanny, Ryan Shawhughes (who’s now pregnant with his child) have been shacking up for a while now, and some (most, actually ALL) people are sure he was dipping into the help, well before the ink was dry on his divorce with ex-wife Uma Thurman.

This, after reported rumors of his marriage being ruined by an alleged affair with aspiring model Jen Perzow. Ethan denies the rumors, but Uma’s alluded to there being some kind of infidelity in the marriage and has said in interviews that her divorce was an “excrucitating” process. Thurman has also said she and Hawke do NOT get along, despite having two children from their union.

So with this history presented, we have a new story where Ethan behaved in a horrific manner recently, ON STAGE, and said some unspeakable things about his ex. Here are the details from New York Magazine’s Savannah Ashour:

Out of nowhere, actor Ethan Hawke hopped up onstage, strapped on an acoustic guitar and bared his soul to the audience. “Someone I know wrote this song while shooting a movie in Paris during his divorce,” he said. We, along with the rest of the audience, gasped. He was totally talking about himself, and more important, Uma Thurman!

Wait, but didn’t they get divorced seventeen years ago? Who cares, we said to ourselves, because by the way, Ethan looks good. He proceeded to sing a ditty that included lyrics about “not caring if [he] ever saw New York again,” “the lawyers,” and — most telling — “my wife.” Uma! “My wife hates me,” he sang, adding something about how she would call him a prick, how he longed to send for his children, tralalala singing stuff. We were intoxicated, both with beverages and with memories of Dead Poets Society. And then! “My wife is a big fat beast,” he sang. We gasped, along with the rest of the audience. He called Uma fat! In public! Sheepishly, Hawke broke his musicianly stride: “Yeah, I was very upset at the time.” And still is, we suspect.

Where to begin? Yes, Ethan your wife hates you, and yes you are a prick, and a very small, shallow, unfaithful, stupid, ignorant and clearly very immature pointy headed prick. If you really longed for your kids maybe you should conduct yourself in a more respectable manner than screwing anything that stops long enough for you to hump it, like some nobody model and the woman who was supposed to be baby-sitting your kids, not schtooping you.

Also, not sure what universe you live in Ethan, but Uma has never, ever, not once been a “big fat beast.” An uber-tall, lanky, unique looking woman yes, but a big fat beast? I think not. We’re all sorry you are short Ethan, and lack the foresight in not anticipating your ex-wife ’s less than stellar reaction to you cheating on her, but seriously, STFU!

We get it, it sucks to be you, Ethan. A craggy-faced, hardened, has-been who got his nanny pregnant and thus must deal with the consequences, but don’t take it out on Uma.

You better hope Uma doesn’t use one of her Kill Bill moves on you and crack you the nuts, forever giving you that pained expression you wear in all your pictures since she dumped your cheating ass.

Sore loser.

Amy Winehouse has been spotted out and about in recent days with a mysterious lump on her face and a funky rash on her cheek.  Her spokesman has said she has impetigo, but many aren’t convinced.  Some people have speculated that she’s returned to her past druggie lifestyle, and caused her own problem by possibly falling into something:

Expert and broadcaster Dr Hilary Jones told the News of the World: “I think the most likely explanation is a direct blow, either accidental or deliberate. A skin complaint wouldn’t cause swelling.

“It could be she’s walked into a door or fallen over—which is very likely with her drug habit.”

But a spokesman for Amy insisted this was not the case.

He said: “Amy has been diagnosed with impetigo which she’s been told can be highly contagious.

“Because of that she’s been put on antibiotics and may have to stay home alone for the next few days.”

Impetigo is an infection of the skin caused by a bacteria which causes a blistered crusty rash. But it does not cause swelling.

I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on teh internets, but I will say this…when my son was little, he had a nasty case of impetigo, and while it did get scabby and nasty it never swelled up, not even a little.  I also had occasion to observe a case of impetigo last winter on a teenage friend, and again while it was scabby it was not swollen.

However, a new story has emerged that states something far more gross than falling into a wall:

The troubled star was with pals when she was asked THREE TIMES by staff to put out her Marlboro Light because of the smoking ban.

As she received her final warning, Amy stared straight into the waitress’s eyes and pushed the burning tip of the fag into her own face.

A source at the diner said: “She hardly flinched because she was so high. The whole place was open-mouthed in horror.”

Amy tried to conceal the wound with foundation — but it has now apparently become infected, causing the swelling on her cheek.

While this report is from The Sun (the Brit’s version of the National Enquirer), it can explain the swelling.  The type of facial infections which create a pocket of infection–from skin, teeth, gums, cysts, etc–can cause the face to swell up fairly quickly, since the skin on our face is not as thick as the rest of our body, plus it usually doesn’t have the layer of fat covering it that the skin elsewhere on our body does.  Add Amy’s attempts to cover the problem with makeup, and you’ve now introduced germs…if she has been picking at it, that will definitely make things worse.  And falling into a wall or onto something will cause bruising and possibly bleeding and/or swelling, but won’t cause a rash or burn blisters.  Of course, a tooth or gum abcess will also cause swelling, but not the rash.  Whatever it is, it isn’t ordinary.

And if you look closely at the first photo above, she seems to have a sore nose…which could be drugs, could be from falling, could be lighting.  But it’s not the first time Amy has been spotted in recent weeks with something strange in her nose.

Also, The Sun is saying that Blake Incarcerated-Junkie isn’t doing so hot either:

He ended up in the medical wing this weekend after slashing at a tattoo of Amy on his arm with a razor blade when she failed to show up and support him in court on Friday.

The junkie has been described by fellow lags as “a hollow shell” after he refused to use shower rooms or talk to other prisoners.

Instead he sits in his cell and slashes his arms.

Blake — awaiting trial for assault and perverting justice — has also failed a third drugs test since he was remanded to jail, and could face a separate court case for his habit inside the nick.

A prison source said: “Blake is in a serious mess.

“His self harming is worse then ever — he is cut to ribbons but carries on gashing his arms with razor blades. He won’t talk to most other prisoners now because he gets threatened and hassled for money, so he sits in his cell either cutting himself or doing whatever drugs he can get.”

“He’s not coping with prison life.”

It seemed strange to us that prisoners who self-harm are given access to blades in their cells, but the source confirmed lags are allowed safety razors — which they then snap to expose the blade.

Yeah…giving prisoners razors to shave with probably isn’t such a good idea.  Maybe they should make Blake grow a beard.  Hope all that dope and high living was worth it, buddy. 

I said back when they released her just before the Grammys that I didn’t think she’d spent enough time in inpatient rehab (at that point, about two weeks), and it appears that outpatient treatment hasn’t done her any good.  Cleaning up for an event in your life is never a good idea…once the event has come and gone, you no longer have a reason to stay clean.  You have to make the decision to clean up for yourself, and any events that come along are gravy.  Amy has not yet reached that point.  I sincerely hope she does before it’s too late.

At this rate, she’ll be back in rehab before long…or not with us for long.

Posh looks like she smells something really bad in that circle of friends.  The abbreviated Spice Girls tour came to an emotional end last night in Toronto as Mel C, Mel B, Geri, Emma, and Victoria bid farewell to their fans:

The Spice Girls ended their much-hyped reunion tour in emotional scenes, with groups members hugging and kissing at their final show in Toronto last night.

The tour ground to a premature halt following their performance in the north American city, amid speculation that the fivesome were at war again, and had suffered flagging ticket sales.

It was an emotional farewell, with Emma Bunton, Victoria Beckham, Melanie Brown, Geri Mel C gathering at the end for a group hug and individual embraces throughout the show.

When the tour was announced, the girls said they would be traveling to five continents, but they seem to have only made it to two.  They’re blaming family commitments for the premature ending and pulling out of going to Sydney, Beijing, Cape Town, and Buenos Aires:

A spokesman for the band insisted the dates could be fulfilled at a later stage and the women had not ruled out reuniting again.

Victoria Beckham said: “We have children who need to go back to school and we have always said our families are our priorities, so we want to thank all of our fans.

“Sorry we didn’t get to see everybody. We had a great time.”  

You know, I’ve been wondering about that…obviously the babies are pretty portable and they don’t have much of a schedule, but what about the older kids?  I know Posh’s kids are old enough to be in school, and so is Scary’s oldest daughter.  Do they just yank the kids out of school to go jetting around the world, or do they bring tutors?

But there are other, less publicized reasons as well.  From the start this reunion has been plagued with rumors of infighting between the girls.  For their final concert in Toronto, they all flew in separately and it was rumored that they were all staying in different hotels.  Mel C wants to return to her solo career (she was the most reluctant of the girls to reunite, mainly because she is the one with the most to lose).  And Posh wants to get back to designing whatever it is that she designs.

I personally think it’s rather ironic that Posh is the one who said she wanted to show her boys that “mummy” used to be a pop star, a famous person in her own right, and then at the height of the tour basically said, “Oh, you know that pop star thing?  Yeah, I’m so not that any more.  I design clothes now.  I’ve moved on.”

My opinion on why they quit?  I think they found out it was just too hard.  Let’s face it, these are women in their thirties now.  While that isn’t old by any stretch, all of them except Mel C now have children and families to look after…and just traveling from one spot to another is hard enough with kids, let alone taking them on a tour.  And as all of us who are of a “certain age” know, even if you’re in the best of shape, as you get older your body doesn’t quite want to do the things it did when it was ten years younger.  The last time these “girls” were on tour, they were single young twentysomethings with no kids, commitments, or bunions.  I think they looked at the past with rose-coloured glasses…but then got a rude awakening.

Oh, and they made enough money.  Time to call it a show!  Bye, everyone!  Tip your waitresses!  Drive safely!

According to reports, A&E has wisely decided to bring back Duane “Dog The Bounty Hunter” Chapman to the network.

Last fall, Chapman was involved in a scandal surrounding a surreptitiously recorded conversation he had with his son Tucker about his current girlfriend, an African American woman. In the tape, Chapman hurls many invectives at his son and makes racial slurs about the girlfriend. Tucker then sold those conversations to a tabloid, creating controversy about whether the Dog was a closet racist.

The ensuing flap caused A&E to suspend the show indefinitely, but since that time, Chapman has made grand efforts within the African American community to apologize and heal any wounds caused by his poor judgment. Many fans, both black and white, came forward defending Chapman and stated ultimately this was a private matter between father and son, and should never have been made public.

From TMZ:

A network official confirms to TMZ that the show is going back into production, but they’ve not yet set a premiere date. As of now, they’re gearing up — big time — in Hawaii and production will begin ASAP. Makeup artists and camera crews have been hired, and houses and cars have been rented, all for the return of the show.

A&E had suspended production on “Dog the Bounty Hunter” indefinitely after a recording surfaced featuring Chapman making racial slurs. Chapman immediately began a tour of forgiveness, working with CORE and other groups to promote racial equality. We’re told network execs were “very pleased” with Dog’s attempt to make amends and his reaching out to members of the African American community.

A&E isn’t just making this decision out of the goodness of their hearts either. The show was insanely popular for the network, here and internationally — airing in over 20 countries.

I for one am glad to see the Dog back in action. We at Glosslip defended him immediately after the incident, while denouncing the use of racial stereotypes and hurtful slurs. Our perspective was that Dog was a man of the streets and using these terms were part of his makeup, but that his actions were not that of a man with deep-seated racial biases. Unlike say Imus, whose a bigoted idiot and meant what he said.

Glad to see A&E came to their senses. Dog, may I suggest you use this opportunity to show some decorum and allow your true nature to shine through. Just my humble opinion.

For those of you who haven’t seen it, here is what Lynne Spears told the police and her allegations against Osmegma bin Leechy.  Warning, some of it is guaranteed to tick you off:

But wait, there’s more…

I would love to come in here one morning, sit at the computer, pull up various websites, and see that Britney had a “normal” night the night before…had a nice supper, was home at a decent hour, watched some television, went to bed, had a good night’s sleep.  But I don’t think that’s going to be happening any time soon.

I saw this going on before I went to bed, but I thought I’d give it until this morning to calm down a bit before I reported anything, and there still may be yet more happening today.  Apparently Britney had somewhat of an emotional night…I hesitate to say she had an emotional breakdown, though.  So here’s what we’ve gleaned thus far:

But wait, there’s more…

I don’t normally talk about John Mayer, his blog, which big-titted starlet he’s boinking or any other manner of inconsequential nonsense. This is a serious blog, not some frivolous site where we scrawl little penises next to people’s mouths. Plus, I am not good at Photoshop.

Anyway, I saw this story and had to respond because I think it’s really sweet John felt compelled to stick up for his former paramour Jessica Simpson, as she continues to her reign of cursing all whom she comes in contact with until they wise up and move on. Then somehow, their career’s soar. Weird.

As we all know, the Dallas Cowboys lost their bid for the Super Bowl title when they were beaten by the NY Giants. It is likely the Cowboys would have lost anyway, because these things happen, but as it stands, their quarterback Tony Romo is dating Jessica Simpson and they’ve been on a losing streak since she showed up and Sunday was no different.

Cowboy fans and Texas people alike have maligned the poor girl and John spoke up on her behalf on his blog:

But wait, there’s more…

Photographer Dani Brubaker sold candid shots of Britney and her sons Sean and Jayden to OK! magazine, while at the same time providing these tidbits of information about the troubled pop star:

“She was very loving,” Brubaker recalls. “She told me she loved her children and that they are her life.” And far from being the neglectful parent some would portray her as, the photographer tells OK! that Brit was “very attentive” to the needs of her sons.

As for the 26-year-old singer’s reaction to the shots of her with her sons, Brubaker reveals, “I’m told that when she saw the photographs she literally cried for over an hour and stared at them all night long.”

And a “friend” of Britney’s (notice how these “friends” always have such big mouths?) reveals these details about how Britney feels about her boys, fame, and just why she does what she does:

So if merely looking at photos of her children has Britney in tears, that would explain why, according to a friend of the singer, the young mom is “inconsolable” right now as the chance of her winning the custody battle for her children looks increasingly slim. “Those boys are her everything, and she’s said repeatedly that life isn’t worth living if she can’t have her babies with her,” says the friend.

The friend adds that Britney would say goodbye to the music business to look after her boys. “The only reason she’s doing this is because she wants them to look up to her onstage and be like, ‘That’s my mama,’ and be proud of her. She’d put her life before them and die for Jayden and Preston. They’re her whole world.”

Reveals the friend, ““Britney has always said, ‘I would die for my boys if that’s what it took to prove I loved them. I’d do anything for them.’ ”

Well, that’s all puppies and sunshine and striped candy, but let’s not be so melodramatic, shall we?  Nobody is asking you to die for your boys, Brit.  You should be more worried about living for them.

But wait, there’s more…