What’s That I Hear? Trouble Knocking Once Again?

It wasn’t too long ago, that we reported that David Hasselhoff aka The Hoff  had once again fell off the wagon.

Who can forget Hoff in a drunken stupor laying on the floor eating a hamburger and his daughter Taylor filming the whole thing. In the  sad video, you can hear his daughter pleading with him and asking him to promise her that he will stop drinking.

Well I guess her wishes are trashed once again. As Hoff got totally trashed at Simon Cowell’s b-day bash recently.
He was SO trashed, that Hoff tried to punch his assistant because his assistant called for help. Hoff missed the assistant, and punched a doctor by mistake. He was then locked up in the hotel basement until the ambulance arrived.
Bravo Hoff! Way to go!

So I guess when he means don’t hassle the Hoff, you best not hassle the Hoff!

Eonline reported:

America’s Got Talent judge David Hasselhoff clearly has a talent…for bad publicity, if nothing else. According to reports, the Baywatch bruiser and popular-in-Germany crooner had too much to drink and slugged the doctor at his London hotel after returning from Simon Cowell’s birthday bash.

The semi reliable New York Post and the oft-dubious U.K. Sun report that Hasselhoff was actually trying to slug his assistant for calling the doctor. According to a source close to the actor, “David was furious and lashed out at him—but he mistakenly hit the doctor.”

The source added that, “David is very hard to handle when he drinks, often very emotional and aggressive. On this occasion he…was becoming a real pain to the staff.”

Hasselhoff reportedly had to be locked in the hotel basement until an ambulance arrived, according to the Sun. He was later taken to London’s Capio Nightingale Hospital, where he reportedly spent two nights in a private room before being released yesterday.
Stay tuned.

“Stay tuned” for what?
There have been SO many reports of Hoff crawling back into that bottle. He was denied boarding a plane at London’s Heathrow airport a while back because he was so lit. Of course his reps denied he was drunk.

He was recently hospitalized because he was found dizzy and unstable. His reps again denied he was drinking and said that the rumors were “complete fabrications” and that Hoff was taking anti nausea drugs for recovering alcoholics.
Uh… sorry, I am not buying it.

To continually hear that Hoff is not getting any better is just sad. Hoff has a huge following, especially in Germany and I am sure his fans are rooting for him to kick that bottle to the curb.

There are also many Knight Rider fans out there. Too bad Kitt wasn’t around to tell Hoff to knock it off. Maybe he would listen to Kitt. Nothing else has worked.

I always thought Hoff was a big goofball, but of course I still wish him the best. He has two beautiful daughters who need him to be a responsible father. Or at least awake at the very least.
But so far, he continues to jump off the wagon.

So back to his recent escapade…

The superficial, another source wrote:

The bender began at the weekend when the US actor joined about 400 A-listers at X Factor supremo Simon Cowell’s posh birthday party. He got smashed and was escorted out of a side door and back to the hotel.
A source close to the star said: “David is very hard to handle when he drinks, often very emotional and aggressive. On this occasion he became so drunk he wet his hotel bed – ruining two mattresses – and was becoming a real pain for staff. His assistant Joe Townley was so concerned he called out a doctor. David was furious and lashed out at him – but mistakenly hit the doctor.
“They decided they had no option but to lock him in the basement until an ambulance arrived.”

Well Hoff is definitely off my holiday party guest list this year. *snicker*

But seriously, Hoff’s reps can’t keep lying for him. It becomes more than obvious that he has not stopped drinking. You can only cry wolf so many times.

Hey Hoff, once again….
Please get your sh*t together. Climb back on that wagon, there is plenty of room.
If not for yourself, then at least do it for your two beautiful daughters.

Wake Up Courtney! Time To Go To Court!

Courtney Love.
Just the name conjures up the feeling of Ewww.

Courtney has her knickers in a bunch (when are they not in a bunch?) over the way Activision used ex hubby Kurt Cobain’s image in Guitar Hero 5.

The agreement was to supposedly have Cobain sing only two songs in the game, which of couse incuded “Smells Like Teen Spirit“.  But Cobain’s character in the game is an unlockable character.

Cobain Ala Activision

For all you non gamers out there, an unlockable character means the gamer can make the image do other things. Like sing other performer’s songs.

So Love and former Nirvana band mates, David Grohl and Krist Novoselic, were not too tickled when they found out that Cobain is singing songs by Jon Bon Jovi and Bush in the game. (the band Bush that is, not Dubya, although that would be a riot)

Ex Nirvana band members were quoted about their dismay:

“While we were aware of Kurt’s image being used with two Nirvana songs, we didn’t know players have the ability to unlock the character,” they said.
“This feature allows the character to be used with any kind of song the layer wants. We urge Activision to do the right thing in ‘re-locking’ Kurt’s character so that this won’t continue in the future.”

Courtney called the avatar “vile” and “necrophilic” and Twittered:

” This Guitar Hero shit is breach of contract. I think Kurt would despise this game alone let alone this avatar.. We are going to sue the shit out of Activison”

When it comes to vile and necrophilic. Ms Love takes the cake.
We all know how vile she can be. And someone would have to be into necrophilia to be attracted to her these days.

As of late, Love has been looking mighty bad. The recent photo below, shows her beyond scrawny and way up there on the “Ewwww” scale.

Love Looking Like Death Warmed Over

 
I think it’s pretty cool that Activision agreed to include Cobain in their game at all. Love and ex band members should be thankful that Activision is keeping his memory and Nirvana’s music alive.

The ex band members are asking Activision to come up with a patch, so Cobain’s character stays locked. Fair enough, but a computer geek friend told me it can’t be done once the game is out. Don’t know if this is totally correct.

Love has her lawyer, Keith A. Finch on the case and he seems to think she indeed has a case.

Finch said,
“Activision was not given an unbridled right to use Kurt Cobain’s name and likeness. As for Cobain, his journals suggest that he’d be less than pleased about a game that shows him belting out “You Give Love A Bad Name”.
Writing about Bon Jovi in the late 1980’s, he issued a one word review: Evil.”

Well, I am not a fan of Bon Jovi myself, but I think the word evil to describe them is a bit silly and over the top. I am sure if Cobain was still alive today, I think his opinion would have matured a bit.

Besides, Nirvana was nothing to write home about. Nirvana themselves weren’t some ultra fabulous band. They were nothing more than a 90’s garage grunge band that literally “stepped in it”. And don’t even get me started on Love’s band “Hole”.

But hey, that’s my taste. Obviously if Nirvana sold over twenty-five million albums in the US, and over fifty million worldwide, they were very much admired.

But why some people continue to think that Cobain was some sort of iconic rock God is beyond me. He was a junkie who had a very short career, a raspy nothing voice and he had an average band. He met Love in 1990, they got married in 1992, and Cobain shot himself in 1994. (supposed self inflicted gun shot wound)
Many people blame Love for Cobain’s untimely demise. I guess we will never actually know the truth.

If you are driving around Aberdeen, Washington, you will see a sign which reads, “Welcome To Aberdeen Come As You Are”, which was purchased by the Kurt Cobain Memorial Committee back in 2004 as a tribute to Cobain. If you are not famaliar with Nirvana’s music… “Come As You Are” is of course one of their songs.

Let’s also not forget that Love and Cobain had a daughter, Francis Bean. I am sure her life has been far from enchanted due to her father’s death and her whacked out mother. 

So back to the lawsuit…
Ms. Love is not a stranger to lawsuits by any means. That is, people suing HER of course.

She was recently sued this past May by American Express for not paying $350,000 in charges. (gee I thought my card was bad)

Contactmusic.com wrote:

COURTNEY LOVE is facing a legal battle with American Express over the credit card company’s claims she has racked up more than $350,000 (£233,000) in unpaid charges.
The firm filed suit against Love in the U.S. District Court on Wednesday (27May09), demanding the rocker pay off the staggering debt on her Gold card.

The former Hole frontwoman had her plastic privileges suspended after she “failed and refused” to clear the balance, according to the lawsuit.
Love has been continuously struggling with her finances in recent years – it emerged in April (09) she had hired a team of private investigators to reclaim the millions of dollars she alleged were stolen from her late husband Kurt Cobain’s estate.
And just last year (08), Love was sued for $1 million (£667,000) by London & Co., an accounting firm which charged the star had failed to pay them profits from the sale of Cobain’s share of the Nirvana publishing catalogue.
A spokesperson for Love was unavailable for comment as WENN went to press.

 
Well, isn’t that interesting? She has two huge companies suing her.
Doesn’t stop there…
She also is being sued by her former body guard for $60,000.

TMZ wrote:

It costs a lot of money to keep the world safe from Courtney Love – her former bodyguards say she stiffed them out of $60,000 this year.

Screen International Security Services filed a lawsuit today in L.A. County Superior Court, claiming they provided “security services, in connection with the protection of Love, her family members, and her property” between April and August of this year.

SISS says Love never paid a penny for services rendered — totaling $58,222.50 — and are suing for the full amount plus interest.

Love’s attorney just sent us the following statement:

“This lawsuit should be placed in the Wikipedia page next to chutzpah. It has no merit and is based on a private security company’s attempt to fleece a celebrity.

SISS is claiming it is owed money for providing around the clock security for Ms. Cobain and her daughter at the St. Ives home for a period of time she and her daughter were NOT living at that home but were living at the Chateau Marmont. SISS has no written agreement with Ms Cobain to support their claim and on its face it is ludicrous.”

SISS was paid a substantial sum for the “service” it provided while they were living at that home. Despite knowing that Ms. Cobain and her daughter had moved out of the home they continued to provide security to an empty home by having someone sit in a car all day eating a ham sandwich while the Cobains were residing miles away!!!

AND her snarkiness doesn’t end there.
In 2007, Love was also quoted as saying,

 “I’m going to have a Christie’s auction,” to hock the bulk of Cobain’s belongings with a portion going to charity.”

I don’t know if this auction ever took place, I couldn’t find anything else about it.”

So do you think Love is really upset over this whole Guitar Hero thang? Or is she looking for some quick cash in all the wrong places? (see what I did there?)

Her lawsuit with Activision is starting to “smell like ”GLEAN” spirit to me”. *snicker*

Seems to me, that she has been living off Kurt’s fame and money for years, and doesn’t plan on stopping.
The lyrics from her song, “Celebrity” say it all.
“Use Once and Destroy“.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am all for performers getting credit where credit is due. And if there is a huge copyright issue, then it should be dealt with.

I think Cobain being included in Guitar Hero 5 was a compliment and an honor to both Cobain and the remaining members of Nirvana. And now Cobain will be forever immortalized in the gaming world. If gamers want to be more respectful, I guess they can always choose for Cobain to only sing the two songs by Nirvana. Easy solution. Those who don’t care, will have him wailing Bon Jovi.

As far as Courtney Love?  
What about your daughter Francis Bean Courtney? 
Doesn’t she deserve better?
Clean up your act and grow up woman.
And for God’s sakes, wash your hands and clean those damn fingernails!

Love’s Fingernails Looks Like She Clawed Her Way Out Of A “Hole”

Father and Daughter, plus something extra, extra icky!

I wasn’t going to touch this story with a latex glove and a ten foot pole, but on second thought, I think it begs to be addressed.

Apparently, recovering drug addict and sometimes actress Mackenzie Phillips has revealed in her new book that she consensually engaged in an incestuous relationship with her father, John Phillips of the Mamas and the Papas.

Why she couldn’t have taken that little nugget to the grave with her is something we may never know, but I for one could have lived the rest of my life NOT knowing this, proving that Mackenzie is crazier and more effed up than previously thought.

More from CNN:

Phillips, the 49-year-old former child star and daughter of the Mamas and the Papas founder John Phillips, says she had sex with her father the night before she was to marry Jeff Sessler, a member of the Rolling Stones entourage, in 1979, according to People.com.

“On the eve of my wedding, my father showed up, determined to stop it,” writes Phillips, who was 19 at the time and a heavy drug user, according to People.com. “I had tons of pills, and Dad had tons of everything too. Eventually I passed out on Dad’s bed.”

Phillips, best known as Julie Cooper on the sitcom “One Day at a Time,” says the sexual relationship became consensual as her life began to spiral out of control.

During her time on the hit CBS comedy, which ran from 1975 to 1984, she battled drug addiction and underwent drug rehabilitation. She later was fired from the show in 1980 because of her drug abuse.

Eventually, she and her father went to rehab together and she later toured with him in a band called the New Mamas and the Papas, according to People.com.

“I was a fragment of a person, and my secret isolated me,” she writes, according to People.com. “One night Dad said, ‘We could just run away to a country where no one would look down on us. There are countries where this is an accepted practice. Maybe Fiji.’ ”

Phillips will reportedly unleash the secret she has kept to herself for 31 years in an interview on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” scheduled to air Wednesday. Phillips’ book, “High on Arrival,” comes out the same day.

Phillips has led a troubled life that has included substance abuse and a 2008 arrest at Los Angeles International Airport on suspicion of cocaine and heroin possession.

She later pleaded guilty to one count of cocaine possession and was ordered to a drug rehab program.

The interview features Phillips discussing the time she spent hiding in her home, compulsively purchasing items from a television shopping channel as well as the events surrounding her arrest.

In a promotional clip for “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” Phillips also says her father shot her up with drugs. John Phillips, who died in 2001, had a well-documented drug problem and was convicted of drug trafficking in 1981. He told many stories of his drug abuse in his memoir, “Papa John.”

Mackenzie Phillips also tells Winfrey about an encounter she purportedly had with rock ‘n’ roll legend Mick Jagger.

Look I am all for people trying to educate the public into matters of child abuse, which would certainly include incest, but this is beyond the boundaries of taste and decorum. I honestly can’t think of one good reason Mackenzie would have for sharing this with the public except as a desperate effort to sell her book using salacious and sensationalistic private details to garner interest.

I am offended and grossed out even having to ponder all of this. There is NOTHING good that can come from this knowledge, NOTHING. There are people in this world (a large number of them in Hollywood) who are so morally depraved they are beyond reason. While I feel sorry for her for having a debilitating drug problem, under no circumstances does that excuse her for allowing this to continue. 19-years old is an adult and she should have known better, and for this type of illegal and immoral relationship to carry on for another decade…cripes, WTF is wrong with her?

This may be the most powerful anti-drug PSA ever!

Now excuse me, I have to go hose myself down in bleach, I have a bad case of the grosses.

Well, well looks like Bobby Brown has packed on the pounds. Bobby
and his double chin will be sweating it out on “Celebrity Fit Club” scheduled to air in 2010.

According to TMZ, he will be joined by cast members from “High School Musical”, “Baywatch” and “The Practice,” which will include Shar Jackson, Nicole Eggert, Tanisha Thomas, Casey Stroh, and Michael Badalucco. Is this the best Celebrity Fit Club can come up with?

I wonder if Bobby, who has always been tough to handle (to say the least) will succumb to the grueling boot camp and all the rules of “Celebrity Fit Club.” Many “stars” *cough* before him, like for instance Dustin (a-hole) Diamond aka “Screech” of “Saved By The Bell” fame, did not fair too well and had too much of an attitude to be on the show and ended up leaving.

Bobby’s track record of being an abusive crack smoking husband 
married to Whitney Houston (although she is not innocent by any means) certainly has crushed his popularity over the years.

Bobby better decide if he still wants to use his “My Prerogative” attitude or man up and stay on the show.

I happen to catch Bobby on D.L. Hughley’s show one night, and he sang My Prerogative, (it WAS a kick ass dance song) or I should say, he attempted to sing it. It was SO bad, it was painful to hear. His years of drug abuse, alcoholism and cigarettes really reeked havoc on his voice. It was totally shot. Don’t get me wrong, I do not have one smidgen of sympathy for this man.

His years or partying, abuse and just being an all around IDIOT have really caught up to him.

A Young Bobby Brown Back In  The Day

It's anyone's bet whether or not Brown will show up on "Celebrity Fit Club." The man can not seem to stay out of trouble. After all... he has been juggling living at two different homes over the years. *snicker*

But then again, ”reality” tv shows have to film their shows way in advance, so maybe this show has already wrapped?  Who knows. I just may have to tune into Celebrity Fit Club this time around, just to see Bobby sweating his butt off and being told what to do.

Will Whitney be at home watching with a big tub of popcorn? I only hope she will be tickled silly over getting to see a little pay back 
served up to Brown, rather than her cheering him on, because I never want to see Whitney, or anyone for that matter, looking like this again.

Crack is Definitely Whack!

To be fair, Bobby wasn’t all to blame for their insane relationship. It takes two to tango don’t forget. (geez! I sound like my Dad)
They were total partners in crime. And she should have left long ago. And of course Brown has always said that he never did cocaine before Whitney came along. HIS WORDS. Yeah ok.

I just know that I saw Whitney go from a vibrant and beautiful singer to an abused and skinny drug abuser after the two of them hooked up.

Their reality show they did together, “Being Bobby Brown” was short lived and a disaster, and Whitney ended up paying a huge price for standing by her man.

Now I was never a Whitney Houston fan, “I Will Always Love You,” has always pierced my brain, but she does have a beautiful voice. Even though her music is not my style, I do hope her recovery continues and that “The Voice” is able to get more of it back.

Her recent appearance singing on “Good Morning America” in Central Park and her talk with Oprah had her fans out in droves. Houston’s interview with Oprah was a far cry from her raspy voiced  interview with Diane Sawyer on Prime Time  (part 1) back in 2002, which is where her infamous “crack Is whack” quote came from. It was beyond obvious that she was in much denial, and very defensive. And Here is Part 2 of the interview, where she talks about her past missed appearances, drugs and actual footage of their marriage to Brown along with their 800 guests in her $40,000 wedding gown. 

In that interview, Whitney and Bobby were already married for 10 years and at that time she said she didn’t want to let go of Brown. I am just glad, as well as her fans, she finally did let go of him.
Bobby ends up joining the interview later on and denied he ever hit her and he said he was diagnosed as being bi-polar and denied all other drug use except smoking pot. *snicker* (Here are parts 3, 4, and 5 of that  2002 interview  if you are interested.)

Whitney’s recent interview with Oprah was like night and day in comparison to the interview with Diane Sawyer back in 2002. She looked like Whitney again. Finally Whitney came clean about the drug abuse, Bobby’s physical abuse and his infidelity and how her mother saved her life with an intervention and valiantly had Whitney removed from her house and forced her into rehab. Thank you Mom!

Her recent performance on GMA in Central Park definitely showed how much her voice has suffered from years of ”partying” and it was quite obvious that she wasn’t able to sing all the parts of the song and she seemed quite winded.

Rumors have it that ABC “digitally sweetened” her songs as reported by Gawker. But  it didn’t matter to her fans one iota, who seemed very elated to see her and were there to support her. Whitney is very fortunate that so many of her fans have never left her side.

Now back to Bobby…

Bobby’s fans? He has never had anywhere near as many as Whitney to begin with, and the ones he had, I think have totally given up on him for the most part. Partly because he has dropped out of the music scene long ago and because people blamed Bobby for ruining Whitney’s life. 

The man has always been his own demise. So your guess is as good as mine as to what the future will hold for him. My gut feeling is that he isn’t done abusing himself or others and he may stay clean for a while, but I don’t know how long that will last.

He is destined for a meeting with karma somewhere down the line, and he’s the only one who can change that.

Yep! George Michael is at it again! He was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence and smashed his car.
Little did George know that back in the day when he named his group Wham, that it would come to mean the sound his car makes every time he plows into something. Don’t forget in 2006, he was found slumped over the steering wheel of his car in London. And months prior, he hit three parked cars in a parking lot. George blamed the episode on being a terrible driver. Umkay…. George.
etonline reported:

Music star George Michael was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence after being involved in a car crash in England, says the BBC.

The news agency says the 46-year-old singer’s Land Rover and another vehicle collided, and police say Michael was arrested at the scene of the incident. After being held for five hours and questioned, he was released from police custody without charge.

In 2007, Michael pleaded guilty to driving under the influence of drugs and consequently wasn’t allowed to drive for two years, says the BBC.

He was held for five hours and released without charge? WTF?
Who the hell keeps giving this guy back his car keys? Once again, another case of famous people getting preferential treatment?
YES! When is this going to stop? When he plows into a car full of kids?
I guess the message from his vintage Wham video where he sports a ”Choose Life” shirt kind of contradicts his life style today?
Oh irony! Your table is waiting!

So if the law will not do anything about George’s drunken “car-capades,” then I hold them responsible too.
Hey law officials! 
You are the ones who should let George Choose Life  by taking his car keys away and demand some jail time and rehab. You should wake up before you let George Michael go-go anywhere else before he hurts someone!

I wish I was kidding as I write this story, but sadly Ryan O’neal just keeps inventing new ways to make people dislike him even more. He tells Vanity Fair that he is a “hopeless father” and he wished he was kinder to Farah. Ummm sorry, it’s too little and too late. We are all aware of O’Neal’s parenting skills (I use the term lightly) in the last couple of decades.  O’Neal has made quite a name for himself, and that name is not a kind one.You would think that Farah’s death would have humbled him a bit, but his latest interview reveals that some things never change.

Contributing editor, Leslie Bennets, of Vanity Fair interviewed O’Neal for their upcoming September issue. There are also excerpts from ONeal’s other family members as well. It is packed with plenty of O’Neal’s short comings. Gems like son Griffith, who tells of his father giving him cocaine when he was only eleven years old. Isn’t that such a nice father-son activity? I can just imagine what took place… It probably wasn’t ”hey Griffith you want to go pass the baseball in the yard?” It was probably more like ”hey Griff, you want to do a couple of lines man?” Dysfunctional family is a mild term. And when Leslie asked O’Neal about daughter Tatum’s autobiography, he hit the ceiling and said:

“She wrote a book–bitch! How dare she throw our laundry in the street for money!… She didn’t call after Farrah’s show. She’ll have to explain that.”

Tatum’s response:

He has every right to be angry about the book; no parent wants to hear their kid saying shitty things about them… But what I wrote in the book was true. I’ve got a battle with drugs, but I’m a strong, independent person, and I fight for myself, and my father and I butt heads. When I was 16 years old, he and Farrah moved in together, and after that I saw my dad periodically, and that took a long time for me to get over. Would I do that to my kids? No, but I don’t think Farrah was responsible for that. I truly thought Farrah was inspirational and beautiful and kind. Anyway, it’s past; I’ve moved on. I’m older now, and I forgive him.”

Aye-aye aye! What a train wreck. So you may be asking yourself, where does the title of this article come in? At Farrah’s funeral of course. Oh yes, apparently O’Neal hit on his own daughter at Farah’s funeral. WTF? Although O’Neal palms it off as merely not recognizing his own daughter (which was true according to Tatum), but what makes his behavior normal? Hitting on someone at your ex’s funeral?  Or ANY funeral for that matter?

Right after he had put Farah’s casket into the hearse, he hits on a woman and asks her for a drink and if she has a car? Geez! talk about being a complete and utter slimeball. O’Neal explains the situation, and says he was trying to be “funny”. Funny? In the words of the infamous and beloved Jackie Gleason… “Well Hardy… Har-Har”
Sadly daughter Tatum didn’t seem that shocked by it either, I guess over the years nothing about Tatum’s Dad would surprise her these days.

Here is O’Neal’s explanation of the “pick up” at the funeral and Tatum’s reply which was quoted in the Huffington Post:

“I had just put the casket in the hearse and I was watching it drive away when a beautiful blonde woman comes up and embraces me,” Ryan told me. “I said to her, ‘You have a drink on you? You have a car?’ She said, ‘Daddy, it’s me–Tatum!’ I was just trying to be funny with a strange Swedish woman, and it’s my daughter. It’s so sick.”

And what did Tatum have to say?:

“That’s our relationship in a nutshell,” Tatum said when I asked her about it. “You make of it what you will.” She sighed. “It had been a few years since we’d seen each other, and he was always a ladies’ man, a bon vivant.”

A “bon vivant?” Oh Tatum you are way TOO kind. I would of been utterly disgusted and probably would have given him a big giant shove and told him where to go. The relationship he has with Tatum is so sad. One of my all time favorite movies is Paper Moon. If you haven’t seen it, it is SO worth the view. Paper Moon starred O’Neal as Tatum’s father “Mose” and a very young, brilliant and talented Tatum who played his daughter “Addie”.

The two were magic on the screen together. Although Tatum stole the entire movie in my opinion. There was one scene in the movie where O’Neal talks about having scruples, and Mose says to Addie:

“I got scruples too, you know. You know what that is? Scruples?

Addie’s reply: “No, I don’t know what it is, but if you got ‘em, it’s a sure bet they belong to somebody else”

So I guess O’Neal’s scruples have been long lost over the years. I never liked Ryan O’Neal after I learned of his dysfunctional behavior, his drinking and drugging and basically him being a piss poor excuse for a dad. But his latest interview REALLY cinched it. I am puzzled as to why he would want to bury his reputation even further. Perhaps he wants to come clean. Again, too little too late, and I think people will be further disgusted. Sorry Farah, I know he showed up for you in your final days, but where was he when you and your family needed him most? I hate to sound so cliche, but in O’Neal’s case, I think Joni Mitchell said it best:

“Don’t it always seem to go, you don’t know what you got till it’s gone”

Sadly…if O’Neal’s other son Redmond doesn’t get the help he needs and get off drugs, and his Dad continues to alienate other family members while he continues with his bouts of drinking and drugging, then that’s the tune that O’Neal will be singing. Your time to grow up and fly right is way overdue O’Neal. Strap on a pair and man up buddy!

Cripes, each day I scour the tabloid rags and read about these emotionally stunted celebrities and their foolish antics and I just scratch my head (dandruff perhaps?). Hollywood is sincerely, just a more glamorous version of high school and isn’t that just really, really sad?

Ultimately it’s boring, repetitive and stupid, which is why I don’t post as much as most other celeb sites, because frankly, these people, ahem, bore the sh*t out of me. Sure, I want to comment on why Lindsay Lohan can’t keep her snatch covered (even when she seems to be sporting some kind of venereal sore), or why Heidi and Spencer are the two biggest twats on the planet, or why Jennifer Aniston can’t seem to wrangle a decent man, or whatever dumb stuff these tabloids come up with, but I guess I am just too lazy to force myself to pretend it’s worth writing about.

But then, sometimes, you come across such flagrant assholishness that even a jaded, professional tabloid-hound like me can’t it pass up. This is one of those stories.

Ashlee Simpson, little sis of fatty-bo-batty Jessica Simpson, is married to that fruity-ish fellow from Fall Out Boy, Pete Wentz. Don’t ask me how these two became an item, except it has something to do with “selling out,” “being inauthentic” and “downright sucking” but alas, they formed a union and then spawned a little fameling named Bronx Mowgli. Why yes, that is the dumbest baby name ever. No offense Bronx, but your name is lame.

Apparently, before Ashlee (Ashhole, or Asslee as she’s affectionately known) hooked up with Pete, he dated that little lass best known as Dawn Summers from Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Michelle Trachtenberg.

I have nothing against Michelle, as she keeps her crotch covered and her face out of the tabloids — that’s golden for me. But even her presumed innocence couldn’t keep Hollyweird from tainting her with its foul stain. More from the SF Chronicle:

Ashlee Simpson has apologized to her husband’s ex-girlfriend Michelle Trachtenberg after launching a vicious verbal attack on the actress at a party in Los Angeles on Monday night.

The singer/actress attended the DJ Hero party at L.A.’s Wiltern Theater with her husband Pete Wentz, and the couple was seated close to the “Gossip Girl” star, who dated the Fall Out Boy rocker before his marriage.

The pop star is reported to have been furious about the slip-up, with a source telling celebrity blogger Perez Hilton, “She (Simpson) was staring directly at Michelle and starting hurling insults at her. Pete looked mortified.”

Partygoers then allegedly restrained Simpson when the scrap escalated.

And now a spokesperson for the star has issued a statement about the incident, insisting Simpson has since made peace with Trachtenberg and apologized for her behavior.

The rep tells America’s OK! magazine, “It was just a misunderstanding. Ashlee has since apologized to Michelle and they remain on good terms.

What the SF article doesn’t mention is a classy quote from Ashlee on the night in question. After taunting and harassing poor Michelle all night, she put the icing on the cake with this gem:

“I hope you know, the whole time you were dating Pete, I was fucking him!”

Holy Grow The Eff Up Dumbass! What the hell kind of self-esteemed challenged dipshit says crap like this? It’s not like Michelle WAS with Pete AFTER Ashlee and had stolen the little troll from her. And more importantly, and certainly more SIGNIFICANTLY, who fights over a guy like Pete Wentz? Methinks Ashlee has some major inferiority issues to overcome and I’d strongly suggest she get that nonsense worked out before she gives birth to any more children.

Now before you call me bitter, old, mean and cranky (which I am) this isn’t the first time Asslee’s let the drink get the best of her. I offer exhibit A.)

While I do feel cheap and dirty talking about this immature incident, I would like to point out that this further illustrates to the world, that by putting these poptarts on a pedestal, we’re only encouraging their already anti-social traits.

Ashlee, just because you apologized doesn’t mean we forgive you, you best lay off the sauce, no one likes a rude drunk.

And as for you Pete Wentz, in the infamous words of Andy Stizter in the 40-Year Old Virgin (at the 3:21 mark): “You should keep your ho on a leash…Bitch’s running wild man!”

The Hoff Struts His Stuff

David Hasselhoff, now 56, is best known for his 80’s roles on TV action show, “Baywatch” (or Babewatch as it’s affectionately known) and “Knight Rider.” David, back in his heyday could be seen  strutting his stuff on the beach with bikini-clad bimbos like Pamela Anderson, or chatting with his futuristic car KITT, who helped him fight crime and solve mysteries These days though, life’s handed “the Hoff” some rotten lemons and the Hoffster’s not making lemonade.

First a little background on Hoff. (And since he has done just about everything but run for president, I can’t possibly do the man’s career justice with this tiny article).

He starred on the daytime soap,” The Young and The Restless,” and even had some top ten songs. One did particularly well in Germany in 1989 and it was called “Looking for Freedom”, which coincided with the fall of the Berlin Wall. 

The Hollywood Walk of Fame bares his star and in 2006, he was a celebrity judge on “America’s Got Talent.” Hasselhoff also wrote a book called  Making Waves, which was released in the UK and has starred in a myriad of films, TV shows, plays and the list goes on and on. In fact, check out his IMDB listing for all the details on his career. Essentially, it is safe to say that Hoff has done just about everything and he has millions of devoted fans to show for it.

Also on the credit side for “The Hoff” are his two beautiful daughters, Taylor-Ann, 19 as of today (happy b-day Taylor) and 16-year old Hayley. In 2006, he filed for divorce due to “irreconcilable differences” and now he shares joint custody of his kids with his ex-wife, Pamela Bach.  That seems to be where the trouble started and Hoff really started “Making Waves” in the news over the past couple of years with his ongoing love affair with the “sauce”. 

Based on news reports and tabloid coverage, David’s life began to unravel publicly after he was allegedly kicked out of the All England Club at Wimbledon and later was again allegedly denied boarding on British Airways at Heathrow, because he was too intoxicated. I use the word allegedly so often, because his spokespeople have denied ALL these allegations, including David himself claiming he “doesn’t drink anymore.”

Unfortunately for David, far more evidence has shown him to be climbing in and out of the bottle enough times to make us question the veracity of that statement, including a damaging (and pitiful) video taken by his own children in an effort to help him get the treatment he obviously needs.

The latest bad PR to hit Hasselhoff had him “allegedly” hospitalized with alcohol poisoning on May 3rd. This out-of-control drinking binge (which supposedly had him registered with a blood alcohol content of .39) merely supports the infamous drunken video filmed by daughter Taylor-Ann which hit YouTube at breakneck speed in 2007. The fallout from this video caused a major media blitz and visitation woes for the Hoff with his daughters. I will get to the video later…

Daily News’ Issie Lapowsky writes:

David Hasselhoff’s hospitalization after a night of drinking has descended into an (alleged) he said-she said battle.

Early reports stated that the former “Baywatch” hunk, who has suffered from alcohol abuse, was found unconscious on Saturday night with a .39 blood alcohol level. The Hoff was foaming at the mouth – a sign of alcohol poisoning – when his daughter Hayley discovered him and rushed him to the hospital, according to RadarOnline.com.

But the actor’s lawyers tells TMZ the story has been exaggerated, blaming Hasselhoff’s ex-wife Pamela Bach for the drama which, he says, is “in violation of the court’s order precluding contacting the media regarding her ex husband.”

Hasselhoff’s rep says the star had been drinking when he got in an argument with Hayley. He had also been feeling ill, his flack says, and reportedly walked himself to his car and was driven to the hospital.

Hasselhoff was released from the hospital on Monday, and, according to his spokeswoman, is “fine and well and happy.” His lawyers later released a statement to “Extra,” saying the actor was “disturbed and saddened by the fact that a certain individual is disseminating grossly inaccurate stories about him to the press for ulterior motives.”

Hasselhoff raised eyebrows in 2007 when a video of the actor drunkenly eating a cheeseburger leaked online. The video was shot by his daughter, who begged him off-camera to stop drinking.

Hasselhoff’s lawyer has reportedly vowed to take Bach to court over the story.

Too bad Hoff didn’t have his side kick car KITT with him. I am sure the soothing voice of William Daniels (the voice behind KITT which is now available on GPS, seriously) would have made sure that Hoff tossed his keys and put down the booze.

On a more serious note….. let’s talk about that infamous and wholly unflattering video which I have watched for myself.

The entire scene was beyond repulsive. Witnessing a once dignified “Hoff” eating a cheeseburger off the floor in his Vegas hotel room, in a state of undress and utterly incoherent is sad enough (I don’t think I can look at a burger from Wendy’s ever again) but even more disturbing is the fact that his daughter Taylor-Ann was playing nurse maid while filming her father in state no child should ever witness their parents in.  Taylor, forced to take on the role of parent is telling her father:
“Dad you need to promise me your not going to get alcohol tonight.” She continued to warn him that he will lose his job (he was playing the part of Roger De Bristo in the Vegas production of The Producers) if the doctor finds any alcohol in his system the next morning.  She goes on to say that if he continued to drink, she would not talk to him anymore and she would disown him, because it wasn’t fair to her or the family. Out of the mouths of babes!

Even stranger (and perhaps sadder) is Taylor filmed her dad supposedly because he asked her to. He wanted to see what he looked like when he falls off the wagon, and what a fall it was. But I guess either the video didn’t have enough impact on the Hoff, or he is not having luck with fighting his demons.

Children of alcoholics endure so much pain and suffering. It’s a tragedy when children switch roles and play the parent to their alcoholic parents.  It makes them grow up too quickly in an ugly unstable environment while robbing them of their childhood. The scars never go away, and can manifest years later.

Back in 2006, Hayley was involved in a tabloid story of her own when news leaked out that her father David had called 911 to report a suicide attempt by his daughter. Conflicting reports later followed stating this was all a big misunderstanding and Hayley has merely been scratched by a cat, with her dad overreacting.

Former Baywatch star Hasselhoff, 54, made a frantic call to police saying his daughter had “cut herself”, it was reported.

A spokeswoman for the Los Angeles Police Department said yesterday that officers had been called to an attempted suicide involving Hayley.

She said the case was being handled by the mental evaluation unit, as is common in suicide attempts. But last night a spokeswoman for Hasselhoff denied it was a suicide attempt, insisting Hayley was scratched by a cat at her mother’s home.

She said Hasselhoff had contacted the police after his other daughter, Taylor-Ann, 16, called him on his mobile, as he was boarding a flight, to say Hayley was bleeding.

The spokeswoman said the wound was superficial and Hayley was now back at the home of her mother, Pamela Bach, in San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles.

Unfortunately, with so much drama surrounding this family, the truth is hard to discern, but forgive us for being skeptical and thinking this may have been a cry for help considering what these kids have been through already in their young lives.

For years, I always thought of Hasselhoff as kind of an icky “dude“, a sort of Wayne Newton kind of icky. But now he has turned into a different kind of icky, it is now a sad, pathetic icky.  Sorry Hoff fans, just being honest.

It’s a pity that David continues down this path of despair. Alcoholism is a sickness and a daily battle for certain. After a divorce, a career spiral from mega stardom, his private “unpretty” life broadcast on YouTube, followed up by a brutal custody battle, numerous rehab visits and your eldest child attempting to commit suicide, it is obvious that Hoff has seen much better days. I certainly hope he finally gets the help he needs. I am sure his family and fans are rooting for him.

Actor and anti-Semetic, Mel Gibson, got a nice Easter gift from his wife Robyn, who has decided to stop putting up with his on-going and drawn out mid-life crises.

Gibson made international headlines in July of 2006, after he was arrested for drunk driving. When cops picked him up in Malibu, his arrest quickly spiraled out-of-control, with Gibson hurling religious and racial epithets, and violently resisting arrest. Here’s more on that incident.

According to news reports, Gibson and his wife have grown estranged since that incident and recent photos of the Gibson, 53, with another woman certainly didn’t help matters. As far as I know, it isn’t very Catholicicky either. Some additional details about their divorce proceedings:

Sources tell us there is no prenuptial agreement — they were married in 1980, before Mel Gibson amassed a fortune estimated at $900 million back in 2006. Under the laws of California, community property — which includes earnings — is divided 50/50.

The Gibsons have 7 children, but only one — Tom, who turns 10 tomorrow — is a minor. In Robyn’s legal papers, filed this morning in L.A. County Superior Court, she seeks joint physical and legal custody of Tom.

Robyn is also asking for spousal support and attorneys fees.

Robyn lists the date of separation as “to be determined.” This is important, because earnings generally cease to be community property when the couple separates. There could be a skirmish over this. We’re told the couple grew increasingly apart over the last few years, especially since Mel’s drunk driving arrest in 2006.

There have been reports that Mel has been involved with another woman, which the actor denies, but we’re told the reasons for the divorce go beyond any third party.

If there is a fight, Robyn is in good hands — she’s repped by disso-queen Laura Wasser, who has handled divorces for the likes of Angelina Jolie, Britney Spears and Stevie Wonder.

The soon to be exes issued a joint statement about the news:

“Throughout our marriage and separation we have always strived to maintain the privacy and integrity of our family and will continue to do so.”

I doubt very many people who know the “real” Mel Gibson are surprised, the guy is a complete mess and in recent year’s his inability to control the crazy, drunken disaster which lurks within, has become evident.

I used to LOVE Mel Gibson back in the 80’s. The Mad Max series were some of my favorite films and he was really great in a number of other lesser known films like The River (with Sissy Spacek) and Tim, Gallipoli. Mel, like many troubled but talented stars, seems to stray from one extreme to other in their behavior. Gibson has stated on numerous occasions that he has battled alcoholism most of his adult life and in 2002 stated in an interview that he suffers from manic depression.

While I feel sorry for anyone afflicted with this type of mental condition, Mel has to take responsibility for his actions, regardless of what else is going on in his life. I hope he treats Robyn, his soon to be ex and mother of his 7 children, with the same respect and gratitude he has spoken of towards her over the years, because it sure seems like she’s put up with A LOT.

It’s award season and you know what that means? Crazy has-been, never-was actress Sean Young will be appearing drunk and disorderly at a theater near you. I like how when she’s asked about working with Harrison Ford, she says “Nah, he’s getting a bit old.” Yeah there’s that… and he’s still making hit films while you Sean Young, crazy Cat Woman wannabe, are getting younger and more elegant. You gotta love a crazy who can’t handle their “drank”.

Relatively speaking, this was a major improvement for Sean, who made a complete ass out of herself at last year’s Director’s Guild Awards when she drunkenly harassed director Julian Schnabel during his acceptance speech. Here’s what an observer had to say about the poor behavior (via Variety):

Being in the room was an odd experience to say the least. I’m sure you have heard by now the drama of the show….

An extremely drunk Sean Young heckled Julian Schnabel the moment he walked on stage to accept his medallion. She was quickly 86′d by security and tried to throw a punch at those ejecting her from the venue. She really ruined Julian’s moment and it was kind of sad. He looked into the audience and said “Who said that?” She blurted out something else unintelligible and then he said “Perhaps you’d like to finish my speech,” said “thank you very much” and started to step away from the podium. He came back, of course, but it seemed he was visibly pissed and upset by the interruption. Sort of sad, actually. It’s like you get this big moment where you’re one of the 5 directors honored in a year and then some drunk ass wipe in the audience ruins a lifetime moment for you.

I couldn’t find any video showing Sean being a butt, but here’s the video of Schnabel responding to her outburst:

Nothing like a sophisticated evening, complete with tuxes, classical piano, famous people and some mouthy broad who can’t keep her drunk in check. That little display forced Ms. Young into rehab, which these days has become more of a vacation than an attempt to address your addictions, as is witnessed in the recent video of Sean.

My favorite Sean Young film is Stripes, not really her film, but hey she was in it and it’s my favorite comedy. Sean claims all she needs is good luck, but what she really needs is to focus on drinking less and stifling her inner crazy. If Britney can do it, so can Sean.