And no, we’re not talking about acting in a movie or a television series, but on the basketball court:

The actress admits it’s tough watching her husband play for the San Antonio Spurs – because she never knows when he’s really hurt, and when he’s acting. She says, “Sometimes he acts to get the flagrant foul or, to sell the foul more, he’ll throw himself on the floor and really play it up more than what it is. “I really don’t know what the difference is so I’m like, ‘Stop laying on the ground if you’re not hurt. Just get up!’ He’s like, ‘Honey, I have to stay on the ground sometimes.’ “But I get really nervous, it’s nail biting.”

I can’t even type I’m laughing so hard.  Nothing like turning your wife loose with an interviewer.  I can just see her hollering at courtside:  “Oh honeybuns, are you really hurt this time or are you just faking again?  Hey, you big poopyhead, stop trying to take the ball away from Tony, it’s his turn to play with it!”

AHAHA HAHAHA AAAAHAHAHA…I need to lie down.

Those pops you just heard are Tony Parker’s teammates heads exploding.  Twice.

A star basketball player on a world champion NBA team. A model slash actress on trashy prime time drama. Even eHarmony would have to agree that’s a perfect match. But even though the actress portrays a bride-to-be who threatens to call off her wedding, there’s no way her actual wedding, would … no … oh no!

Could it be? Oh no, the wedding of San Antonio Spurs’ point guard Tony Parker and Desperate Housewives minx Eva Longoria isn’t going to … wait, never mind.

On Monday, X17Online.com was “hearing rumors that Eva Longoria and Tony Parker have called off their wedding!” Since they cited no source, they’re probably the ones who started it. Or are lazy. Consequently, Longoria’s publicist Liza Anderson has fervently asserted that the wedding is still on, that they’re excited for the day, and that love is a battlefield. Actually, no. That last one was Pat Benatar. But the other two, those were the publicist.

So, you probably have no idea how this rumor — we’re gonna quash it right now, because you don’t call off a wedding if you’re a celebrity. You fake it for a year then split up, citing “irreconcilable differences.” Duh. — began. However, I’m fully aware of what happened. You see, Longoria’s Desperate Housewives character, Gabrielle Marquez, was marrying the local mayor incumbent in the season finale. But in a smattering of hurt feelings and high-intensity scriptwriting, Gabrielle, like, omigod, called the wedding off. But then she, like, totally made up all kissy with her soon-to-be second husband. Phew.

But, I didn’t, um, watch the season finale of Desperate Housewives on Sunday. Nor did I ever. I … read it. Somewhere. Now, please look into this light.

But the editor of X17Online probably heard the summary of the show, and heard “Yeah, then Eva Longoria called the wedding off.” And because the editor was busy watching the Yankees/Mets game on Sunday night, he was only half paying attention, because he saw the part where the grounds crew member unrolled the batting practice tarp, only to find a live cat napping in the middle of the roll. So he heard, “Longoria’s wedding is off?” thinking they were discussing the real one. And he doesn’t know what’s going on in Desperate Housewives, because no guy in his right mind would watch that crappy show.

At least that’s what I heard happened.

Matt Sussman is the editor of BC Sports. So if you like sports, you might be compelled to visit and such.