Dear Little Suri,

Well, well you are such a big girl now. The big #2! I bet your parents are so proud of you. All around the world we’ve watch you grow into a beautiful, little, young lady and we watch with such interest. Your daddy is a very big movie star and your mommy is a charming young woman. I’ve read in some places that your mom and dad don’t agree on what your future should be. Sometimes parents do that. But don’t worry, because I know for certain your mom and dad love you more than anything in the world.

Despite all the things you might see and hear in your world, those of us on the outside care about you and I have a special wish just for you. I wish that when you grow up you are blessed with an uncommonly insightful mind which uses logic and reason to make choices which in your heart you know are right. I wish for your mommy to be strong and courageous and help your father see that some things are not as they seem, and maybe he should look deep inside himself for the true answer to the mysteries in life he seeks but has yet to find. Maybe through you, he will find this.

I think your dad really loves your mother, how could he not; she’s warm, sweet and a good mommy.

Suri, I must be honest with you though, I think your dad is confused and is mixed up with people who don’t care about him for the right reasons and have used him for their own purposes.

Your dad needs lots of hugs and kisses from you, Connor and Isabella. Don’t forget your mom too, give her lots of hugs and kisses too.

I will keep hoping and praying for you Suri. I will pray for your mom and dad too.

Happy Birthday!
XOXOXO

GLOSSLIP

Denise Richards refuses to talk about her weight in front of her girls for fear it will set a bad example for them:

“I’ll never talk about weight around them,” the actress tells Shape magazine in its May issue. “And they’ll never hear me say, ‘Mommy’s feeling fat today.’ That kind of attitude just makes young girls grow up to be dissatisfied with their bodies.”

Instead, Richards says she tries to set an active example for her girls, Sam, 4, and Lola, 2.

“Working out is part of my life, not just an I-have-to-get-ready-for-a-photo-shoot thing,” she tells the magazine. “I exercise almost every day. The girls usually play in the workout room with me, so they’re learning by example.”

However, she has no problems whatsoever warping their psyches by pimping them out on her new reality TV show, using them to get ratings (and ultimately money in her pocket).

While I agree that we should present healthy body images to our daughters, and not constantly talk about how dissatisfied we are with this or that about ourselves, whoring out toddlers for the sole purpose of putting money in your own pocket probably isn’t the best thing for them either.  After all, these little girls are not of an age where they can consent to ruin their lives on their own.  Guess that’s where momma has to step in.

Remember…contact E!, tell them how disappointed you are that they are choosing to air this show, and boycott!

Part 2 in the series of Glosslip’s interview with Andrew Morton we discuss the disintegration of Tom Cruise’s marriage to Nicole Kidman and what influence Scientology has had on Nicole’s disconnection and separation from her children, Isabella, age 16 and Connor, age 13.

Andrew discussed PTSSP Rundown, a course teen Scientologists are given to during their adolescence which in cases of divorce or separation from parents can in effect cause “disconnect” to take place. Andrew suggests what will happen with Nicole’s children, and what we’ve already witnessed happening to their relationship when Tom left Nicole and she parted ways with Scientology.

It’s times like this I’m glad I grew up poor.  It was just a matter of time before somebody decided to hold the so-called parents of Nick Hogan Bollea Whatever accountable for both their actions and his.  The Grazianos, family of Nick’s passenger John Graziano, have officially sued the Hogans:

The suit, filed in Pinellas County Circuit Court, alleges that each of the defendants — Terry Bollea, a.k.a. Hulk Hogan, Linda Bollea, Nick Bollea and Daniel Jacobs [the other driver] – were negligent in the acts leading up to Graziano’s injury last summer.

The suit will seek damages in the millions, said attorney George Tragos, but the exact amount is not known because it remains unclear how expensive Graziano’s care will be. Tragos said the former Marine’s medical bills already exceed $1 million.

The crash left Graziano, an Iraq war veteran, in critical condition.

John Graziano remains in the hospital:

Lawyers today said that a portion of Graziano’s frontal lobe had to be removed because of the crash. He is in a “semi-conscious” state and responds to certain stimuli like heat and touch, lawyers said.

The proceeds from the suit would go into a trust for Graziano’s longterm care.

So much for Hulk Hogan’s words after the accident:

“[Nick’s] going to be okay. John’s going to be okay, and if things keep going the way they’re going…Nick and I are going to walk John right out of that hospital,” he said.

But wait, there’s more…

Give that man an award for Most Obvious Statement This Decade.

Peepaw Martin Sheen is none too happy that his granddaughters are being pimped out by former daughter-in-law Denise “Someone’s tampered wit da bawwwwmb” Richards for her new reality series:

The veteran actor has hit out at the actress’s decision to include his granddaughters in her new reality TV show, branding the move “a mistake”.

Denise, 37, who has been locked in a bitter feud with Charlie since their marriage crumbled in 2006, is opening up her home to film the series for America’s E! network. […]

According to the New York Post’s gossip column Page Six, The West Wing’s Sheen said: “We were hoping they wouldn’t be exposed to that. It’s unfortunate. But she’s of a mind where it’s important to her.

“Maybe she has to get involved with something to realise how big a mistake it is.”

He’s a bit crazazy himself, but he does have a point.  Daddy Charlie Sheen took Denise (voted the Worst Bond Girl) to court last year attempting to stop his daughters’ involvement, but incredibly the judge agreed with Denise and allowed filming to continue.

Charlie has a good idea:

The Two And A Half Men star Charlie, who is now engaged to Brooke Mueller, said last month: “I think we should all just boycott the damn thing.”

I’m no big fan of the man-slut, but he has a point.  If nobody watches, then there is no reason for a show.

Therefore, I propose this:  Don’t just boycott the show, boycott the whole network.  E! has a large network of shows watched by a large number of people.  If people stop watching, maybe it will send a message that we, as a viewing public, do not appreciate having innocent young children (who have no say in the matter) pimped out for public consumption.  Denise is doing this for one reason only…to pad her bank account.

Write, email, call E! and tell them that this will not stand.  These little girls didn’t sign a contract and they didn’t agree to any of this.  They are little children who do not understand the scope of what is actually going on here.  They are two and three years old…how can they make an informed decision?  The only things they should be making a decision about concerning television are whether to watch Sesame Street or Disney Princesses.

Yes, I know that there are many stupid reality shows on E!, but they mostly feature adults who are old enough to consent to what they are doing (well, Keeping Up With The Kardashians has a 9 and 11-year-old, and I don’t agree with that, but there is a big difference between a toddler and a tweenager, and this particular post is about toddlers…I’ll get to the Kardashians another time).  These two little girls have no say.

So far, this link is all I can find for online contact (the “Contact Us” link just takes you to a null page, and the other “Contact Us” link I found opens a page but nothing is on it).  I did find these addresses and phone numbers:

E! Entertainment Television
5750 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90036

Phone:  323-954-2400
Fax:  323-954-2661

Be respectful, be decent, be literate and intelligent, do NOT be stupid or threatening, but be firm in stating that as long as there is a show featuring toddlers who do not have a say in the matter, you will not be tuning in to E!.  Join me!

After almost a year, comedian Eddie Murphy has still not seen his newest offspring:

[Lawyer Gloria] Allred didn’t comment on the Enquirer’s report that a source close to Eddie claims he and Mel only slept with each other three times during their relationship, or that she told him she was on birth control. However, the powerhouse attorney exclusively told us that regardless of the couple’s past, “I think it’s sad and inexcusable that Mr. Murphy chooses to punish his baby by refusing to visit her or be involved emotionally or in person in her life. It’s shocking that he continues to refuse to be involved with his daughter and that he has intentionally missed the precious first year of her innocent life.”

Oh ugh.  Gloria Allred.  I really can’t stand that woman.  Can she shut up now?  No, it isn’t sad, it’s probably the best thing for that little girl.

A few months ago, Mel B was apparently fighting depression because of Eddie’s refusal to visit his daughter:

Spice Girl Melanie Brown is battling depression because ex-boyfriend Eddie Murphy is refusing to visit their daughter, Angel.

Scary Spice’s lawyer Gloria Allred reveals the singer is desperate for 6-month-old Angel to have a father figure in her life — but the actor reportedly wants to play no part in her upbringing.

It would seem the plan from Eddie’s point of view is to wait until the baby is older and see her then, although that is a convenient way of putting it off indefinitely:

Although Eddie accepts that Angel is his daughter, he has said that he won’t see the little girl, because he doesn’t want to set eyes on Mel.

A source said: “He says he will have to wait until Angel is older before he can get to know her without any interference from her mother.”

Secrets behind the couple’s doomed three-month fling have been revealed in legal papers in which Eddie, 46, states that Mel allegedly asked him for a $9million (£4.5million) house, plus living expenses for 18 years in exchange for her silence while she was pregnant.

But Eddie baulked at the demands and it is claimed he has since refused to see the baby and the Spice Girl.

You know…Mel B needs to just realize that Donkey has absolutely no interest in anything other than himself.  He is not going to be visiting his daughter any time soon, if ever, and the sooner she can come to terms with that the better off both she and her daughter will be.

Eddie doesn’t seem like the sort of role model one would want for one’s daughter, but then again maybe that thought should have occurred to Scary Spice before they did the nasty.  Eddie, for his part, has always claimed that Mel tricked him into getting her pregnant.  But the last time I checked, we are responsible for ourselves, and there’s no reason for Eddie not to have taken birth control matters into his own, um, hands.

Of course, we do have to take into account that the blood was not flowing to his brain, so he obviously wasn’t thinking straight.  Wait…does that explain his whole personality?

However, Mel isn’t exempt from her share of the blame here.  We obviously don’t know the details of the birth control situation (and it all boils down to he-said/she-said anyway), but the last time I checked it takes two to tango, and if there were any questions about it then the answer to sex would have had to be a no.  Plus, if she did indeed try to take him to the cleaners over this, and if she did purposefully get pregnant just to take his money (how last century), then she needs her own reality check, and I ain’t talking about one you get from a TV show.  I’m not so sure she did the latter, but I don’t have much of a problem believing the former.

So basically, you’ve got two people who don’t seem to have their priorities straight, fighting about a baby.  If I were Angel, I’d ask Gloria to get me a new set of parents altogether, these two are malfunctioning.

Mel, a little advice.  It is better to have no father in your child’s life than a bad one.  A reluctant and hostile father, angry at the mother, can be one of the worst influences on a child that there can be.  Find a good father figure for your daughter (um, hello, perhaps your husband…if you thought enough about him to marry him, then you should believe is is good father material, right?), let him take over that role, and move on with your life.  It would be the best thing you could ever do for her.

Well, it seems Brad’s boys were up to the task, as Angie is once again with child. Though the couple has not made an official statement confirming they are pregnant, suffice it to say, the proverbial cat is out of the bag. There are other rumors she’s having twins.

Remind me to NOT drink the water in Hollywood. Seriously, are they growing a damn celeb army or something?

Here’s the handsome couple at the 2008 Film Independent’s Spirit Awards from earlier today. More pics after the jump.

But wait, there’s more…

Several websites are reporting that Britney Spears might get some visitation with her sons very soon.  Page Six is reporting:

Kevin Federline has agreed to let her meet with Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1, under the close supervision of a psychiatrist and her dad, Jamie.

According to an insider, it had been Jamie’s “sole focus” to get his daughter’s visitation rights back.

PageSix.com reported on Wednesday that Britney’s family and K-Fed were eager to make arrangements for her to spend time with her boys. She hasn’t seen the children since she was hospitalized at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in L.A. on a 72-hour psychiatric hold on January 3.

And, according to People:

Britney Spears will be allowed to visit her children “soon, very soon,” after lawyers hammered out a structured visitation arrangement, Kevin Federline’s attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan tells PEOPLE.

Kaplan confirmed Friday that he and his partner Jim Simon spent two days working with Spears’s legal team. Under the terms of the agreement, details of which Kaplan would not disclose, Jayden, 1, and Preston, 2, will once again enjoy “participation of their mother in their lives,” Kaplan says.

“We’re pleased that … the process of reinstating the children’s mother as a participant in their lives can commence,” said Kaplan.

Lastly, TMZ is saying:

We broke the story that lawyers for both sides have agreed to visitation in a therapeutic setting. Now we’ve learned the specifics. The kids can visit with momma, provided Jamie Spears and her psychiatrist are present. There are other strings, but at a minimum Jamie and the shrink are required.

We’re told both sides are impressed that Jamie has stabilized Britney and the whirlwind surrounding her crazy life, and that’s a core reason why a deal was struck.

Sources say Britney will begin seeing her kids again imminently.

FINALLY.  Some good news to report about Britney.  She must be making progress with her medication and therapy for this to happen.  I know she’s not been as prominent as she was, and the 3AM trips to Rite-Aid seem to have stopped, so HOPEFULLY she’ll see that the quieter, less crazy, less hectic lifestyle is what it is going to take to get to see her kids.  Perhaps that will be enough of an incentive for her to continue with her medication and therapy.

Or at least the photographic representations of them.

News today is that JLo has finally checked into that suite at North Shore University Hospital (you know, the suite specially outfitted for her, with a brown leather couch and furnishings untouched by the blood or amniotic fluid of the little people otherwise known as the “non-famous”) to deliver her babies, widely reported to be twins, and it seems that staffers on that floor are all in a tizzy because, well, it’s JLo, and apparently she used to be somebody.

“Sources” also say that she’s sold the first public photos of the little tykes for $6M, to be split between People and OK!, who will distribute the pics in their international magazines.  And finally, the babes will snooze in style in nurseries which cost over $120K to outfit in high style, including chandeliers and 18-karat trim.  In three homes, nonetheless.

Okay, I gotta stop.  Huh?  First of all, what makes Jennifer Lopez so special that she gets a special, unsullied room and nobody else is allowed to touch it?  It’s a hospital, I’m sure they clean the delivery rooms extremely well between birthings.  Had the room been used even the day before, I’m sure it would have been sanitized in time for Jennifer’s arrival.  Yeah, the argument could be made that a room needed to be kept ready for whenever she went into labor, and I’m sure there needs to be things taken into account such as security measures and privacy.  But still…she couldn’t use the room as it was, it had to be specially outfitted just for her?  She’ll be in the standard issue hospital bed anyway, I don’t see what difference it makes.  And I’m sure they have more than one room which could have accommodated her.  What makes JLo and her babies so much more special than any other mother who comes in to give birth?  And will she change her mind and have a silent birth after all?

And all that money, for nurseries for babies who’s eyes can’t even focus properly?  What is that about?  I’m not against having nice things, but why not donate some of that money to mothers who NEED it?  Last time I checked, babies eat, sleep, and poop…sometimes all at once, many times not in a neat and orderly fashion.  What does any baby need with nurseries that have gold trim and chandeliers?  Sounds more to me like indulging the egos of the parents.  I wish I could be a little fly on the wall (yeah, like she’d allow a fly) when those babies spit up or get runny diapers all over their expensive sheets.  I’m not trying to be mean, just pointing out that babies will poop on anything, from $116 organic blankets to $5 polarfleece from Wal-Mart.  And no matter the price of the materials, baby poopy stains, stinks, and generally makes a mess.

And lastly…$6M for baby photos?  Of what?  Little wrinkly babies?  Let’s face it, newborns pretty much look the same.  They may have different color skin depending on their ethnicity, but they’re usually wrinkled little monkey-looking things.  Hey, I’ve had two babies, and while I thought they were the most beautiful babies in the world (and they were…I dare JLo to produce babies as beautiful as mine), the truth is that they were also little wrinkly, red-faced, slobbering lumps.  You know why?  Because they’re BABIES.  This practice of doling out small fortunes to celebs who are already full of themselves just for some baby snapshots is the most greedy, ridiculous thing I’ve seen yet (and I’m not just talking about JLo and Marc here).

Can’t Marc Anthony do something with her?  He’s never said anything (he’s probably too scared) but I’d hope he’d be embarrassed by his wife’s ostentationess.

But, having said all that, I do wish her a good delivery and healthy babies.  I just wish she’d grow up and live in the real world, not Jenniferland.

I’ll personally give $100 of my hard-earned money (and to me, that’s a huge amount) to the charity of choice of any celebrity who will come out of their house to greet the assembled paparazzi throng (behind a gate or fence, of course), ask if they’d like to see the baby, and then bring out Junior for photos.  They can stand at a reasonable distance for a few minutes (again, probably behind a gate or fence…gotta have a barrier between the paps and the baby), and then go inside.  Or they can snap a picture of Little Missy, print off a bunch of snapshot-sized prints, and go hand them to the press outside.  No big money, no huge fanfare, and it wouldn’t look like they’re greedily selling their kids for cash that they don’t need anyway.

I’ll start holding my breath now.

Apparently Paris Hilton did not teach her little brother Barron anything when she spent some time in the pokey last year, because Barron was just popped for DUI:

TMZ has learned 18-year-old Barron Hilton, Paris’ little brother, was arrested for DUI in Malibu at 8:30 AM this morning!

Cops tell TMZ he was driving a black Mercedes on Pacific Coast Highway with a passenger — not one of his sisters– when he was pulled over at a 76 gas station.

He’s been booked and is being held on $5000 bail…or, as it is known to the Hiltons, walking-around money.

Apparently, Barron snuck out last night and didn’t tell anyone.  His family didn’t know who he was with or where he was.  It seems wherever he was, he ended up at a 76 station, where he bumped one of the workers at the pumps.  No word on any injuries, but I have a feeling a gas station worker just hit the injury lottery.

Police say he blew a .14, nearly twice the legal limit in California for those under 21.  If you’re under 21, any BAC is considered legally drunk.  Way to overachieve!

According to Page Six, it took six cops to take him away.

Srsly.  His parents must be so proud of their children.  But what do you expect, when you grow up like this:

Hilton observers all have their favorite story about Kathy’s curious lack of appropriateness. For former Daily News gossip columnist Lloyd Grove, it was this: “When Paris went on Saturday Night Live after the release of her sex tape, in 2003, she did this bit with Jimmy Fallon where he wasn’t allowed to discuss the sex scandal, but he asked her all these double-entendre questions about ‘the Paris Hilton [Hotel],’ like ‘Is it hard to get into the Paris Hilton?,’ ‘I may need to go in the back entrance,’ ‘I’d love to have my balls held by the Paris Hilton,’ etc., etc. And wouldn’t you know, Kathy and Rick were there with their two young boys. Afterwards, Kathy was saying, ‘Wasn’t your sister great? Wasn’t she funny?’—and these two boys, who were barely teenagers, had to listen to this whole thing about their sister being in a porn tape.… It was just so awful.”

UPDATE:  According to TMZ, Barron was driving erratically at the time he pulled into the 76 station, and two guys in a Nissan took away his keys:

Fernando (he did not want to give his last name), who works at the 76 station on Pacific Coast Highway and Corral Canyon, tells TMZ he was working as the cashier, taking inventory of the pumps when he saw Barron’s car driving the wrong way on PCH. Fernando and Paul, a mechanic at the station, say they saw a grey Nissan pickup with two guys inside following Barron’s Mercedes. Fernando and Paul say Barron pulled into their station and began driving wildly in circles.

Fernando says he was standing at one of the pumps when Barron’s car struck his leg. Fernando says the impact threw him over the pump and caused bruises.

Fernando adds when Barron came to a stop, the two guys in a Nissan jumped out and grabbed the keys in Barron’s car, so he couldn’t continue driving. Fernando says the two guys told him that Barron hit their car earlier, and Fernando saw a dent on the left side of the Nissan.

According to a Sheriff’s Department press release, a female in Barron’s car may have been driving at the time of the collision, and then Barron took the wheel.

Apparently the mysterious female went with the Mercedes when it was towed.

Hopefully somebody will teach this kid a lesson so he doesn’t turn into another Nick Hogan.

UPDATE #2:  WOAH…could Paris actually have acquired some maturity over the past year or so?  Little brother Barron called her to bail him out of jail and she REFUSED:

Sources tell TMZ Barron Hilton called his sister Paris right after he got busted for DUI this morning, pleading with her to bail him out. Paris said no.

We’re told Paris rejected her brother’s request, telling her 18-year-old brother, “You’re going to learn your lesson.” TMZ also knows Paris was “very upset and very disappointed in him.” For the record, Paris was 25 when she was busted for DUI.

In other news, my feet just got incredibly cold.  I need to check, I think something just froze.

UPDATE #3:  Page Six is saying that Barron was busted with a fake driver’s license, which quadrupled his bail to $20,000.  After mom and dad refused to bail him out (where was this tough love for Paris…she got tears and protestations of unfair play), some of his buddies got together and did it.