Demi Moore recently posed for the cover of W magazine.
WHY? Does anyone care?

What the hell is she wearing? This metallic swimsuit toga with epilettes reminds of something out of the movie Mad Max. Who picked out this silly frock?
And talk about smoke and mirrors! Her photo must of had to jump through hoops to achieve the more than obvious photo shop and airbrush -a-rama. If her name was not on the cover, I wouldn’t have known it was her.

There comes a time when someone should just accept that they are getting older, and stop trying to nip and tuck their way back to their youth. When everyone knows your age and they see little evidence of any aging, people just think it’s ridiculous and fake.

Although of course Demi, (make sure you pronounce it De-MEE, ick) completely denies that she has ever had any plastic surgery. Yeah, OK De-MEE. *laughs holding sides*

To make everyone really roll their eyes even more…
Apparently, Ms. Brat Pack has just announced that she would like to be called a puma rather than a cougar.

Bitch please… you are forty seven years old. Pumas are women in their thirties dating older men. Your barking up the wrong tree Ms. Hot Flash!

I never cared for Demi Moore. 
She is not that talented and completely full of herself. Top that off with her early interest in Scientology… and that really sealed the deal for me. Thank you Bruce Willis who had the common sense to put his foot down and say no to his kids being raised as Scientologists. Bravo Bruce!

But of course on the other hand, she is seen everywhere with that silly red Kabala string around her wrist. I guess they photo shopped it out of the pictures? 
Kutcher and her also got married by a Kabalah minister or whatever the heck. Silly celebutards. *Rolls eyes*

So on to her MUCH younger and prettier half, Ashton Kutcher.
Women are still crazy over him, and I think he was once perceived as a likable fun loving character. But now I think everyone just looks at him and thinks he is pretty much whipped by Demi and has lost totally his mojo. woo pah!

It seems that Ashton doesn’t do much of anything any more, except those stupid camera commercials. Not that he was some great big talent before. He has his Punk’d show and some crappy movies he did. But what does he do now? Or have I missed something major?

Same goes for Demi. What has she done lately? Would anyone take the risk and hire her for one of their movies? That seems very doubtful.

One thing that Demi has been busy doing, is biding her time by tweetin’ on Twitter. She loves to tweet about guess who? Ashton of course. All about their ooey gooey romance. Made me throw up a little. 

Yeah ok, we get it Demi, you landed yourself a young one with a pretty face. WE KNOW. Now what?

Eonline wrote:

Demi Moore is on the cover of December’s W wearing a festive holiday getup. The reigning Queen of Twitter talks about (what else?) being a cougar and how great Ashton Kutcher is. Feels like we’ve heard this all before from the actress, but let’s do it anyway.

While everyone considers Demi to be the O.G. cougar, she doesn’t see it that way.

“I’m certainly not the first person to be in a relationship with a younger man, but somehow I was plucked out as a bit of a poster girl,” she says.

“I don’t know why that is. But I just kind of step back sometimes and say, ‘There is some reason, and what is it that I have to share in a positive way?’ I’d prefer to be called a puma.”

(”Puma” is already used to describe women in their 30s who go for younger men, so 47-year-old Demi doesn’t really fall into that category. But she thinks “she came up with the new designation,” so maybe it’s best to let her go on believing that?)

Now about her 31-year-old husband. She loves him. A lot.

“The most overwhelming part of meeting someone that you already felt you had such a deep and old connection with is that your feelings are greater than the time you’ve had to actually be with one another. Now we’ve had the physical time together. The love he has for me makes me a better person by giving me the courage to take risks. I can fail and have someone who loves me just the same. I never knew it was quite possible.”

If she’s not gushing about her hubby on Twitter, she’s gotta gush somewhere. Now let’s wrap this up with a photo of Demi looking like she’s ready to join the next round of Dancing With the Stars. (That’ll happen at some point, right?)

So what about that dress that E is talking about?
Here it is below.

Hey Demi! The ’80’s called they want their dress back!
And what is that thing on her thumb? A grey bandage? Or am I seeing that wrong?

Such an awful pose she struck with that boney chicken wing of an arm sticking out. Why would W magazine and Demi approve of that picture? Were the other pictures to pick from that much worse? Hard to imagine.

Back to the inigma of their relationship.
I wonder if Demi’s cub (Ashton) will still be into making love to a 65 year old saber tooth when he turns a meer 49 years old?

Hey Demi, I hope you’re up for a hoo-ha rejuvenation? Or have you already had one? Well by the time you hit 65, you will be in need of yet another hoo-haw hoist anyways, because gravity is not kind.

Ashton was and still is considered quite the looker. I doubt he will ever have a shortage of women who want to jump his bones. He’s only 31 years old and has his whole life ahead of him. The older he gets… the better the young ones are going to start to look to him. It’s usually the way it goes. Sorry, fact of life. Get over it.

And don’t start with the “if Demi was a man, it would be more accepted” BS.
It goes both ways.

I have a friend who married a MUCH older man. They have a huge age difference. She did NOT marry him for money, he didn’t have any money. She still loves him of course, but the more he ages, the more his personality is changing, and he wants to do less and less. He is pretty content with just sitting around and watching TV when he is not working and of course that is normal for many. She jokes about him being a senior citizen, but I know it’s really starting to bother her. And no my friend is not shallow. I think when they got married, she convinced herself that his age wouldn’t be an issue. But now that he is in his sixties and he is changing his ways, she wishes for the younger man she married. It happens.

But maybe Ashton will feel differently.
Maybe he will stay with Demi, even when her ta-tas go completely south for the second time and she has to keep dying her pubes, so the rug will match the drapes. (ok, now I am grossing myself out) 

Hey Demi! I wouldn’t hire any cute young things as maids to hang around the house, if you catch my drift. And I think it would be a little tough to see Ashton smooching it up with a younger gal in a movie. Which has already happened. And as much as Demi acts like she is secure about their relationship, there’s bound to be insecurities. Especially when some of the girls are twenty years younger than her. It’s normal.

And what if Ashton wants to be a baby daddy? What if he wants his own kids? That has to weigh heavy on Demi too, especially that her baby making years are over. I know he considers Demi’s kids as his own, but it’s not the same as having your own child. He may be filled with a lot of regret when he gets a little older for not having one of his own.

Ashton still has PLENTY of time left for that. But Demi? Nope! She is done. I guess they can always hire a surrogate. But again, not the same.

Only time will tell if this puma cougar can hold on to her cub.
Who knows… maybe Demi will leave Ashton for a younger cub!

Not sure how many lives out of nine that Demi the puma cougar has already used.
I am just telling it like it is.

FYI… In the animal kingdom….
Cougars and pumas (and mountain lions) are all one in the same.
But don’t tell Demi that… she will then want to be called a kitten. MEOW!

It’s hump day and what’s been going on in the world of celebrity gossip lately?
Same old crap and some new crap.

Lindsey Lohan went to court and partied the night before and the night after her court hearing. Yawn!
But wait… she said she’s afraid her Dad may kidnap her now. Uh.. again yawn. Wake me up when she does something new.

What’s also up?
Not Balloon Boy!  That news is SO rampant, that I am already tired of it. But it looks like reality has caught up with the Heenes. Honestly, I caught these loons on Wife Swap a while back and the father was a hot headed, delusional wacko, who thinks the sun rises and sets by him. I thought this man was questionable way back then, but you can’t always tell, with the way “reality” shows edit their shows. But now we know for sure. Yep! My gut instinct was totally spot on.

Now I think his wife is either abused and doesn’t know enough to get away and agrees with everything her idiot husband does regardless, or she actually agrees with everything her hubby does and also thinks you should raise your children by dragging them to twister romps and pulling them out of school and allowing them to trash talk to whomever they want. Either scenario is SAD. 
Oh! Have you seen their video on YouTube? I can’t understand what the hell they are singing about, but it looks pretty darn questionable. Future Beastie Boys ya think?

I wonder if wifey-poo will throw hubby under the bus, when it comes down to their day in court? Get out the popcorn! And as far as reality fame goes? Heenes… you got it now! Yah happy?

And more people who get under my skin…
Elisabeth Hasselbeck is back on The View. (oh joy) 
I guess little Ms. Perfect sent out some not so perfect baby pictures of her baby AND a guest appearance of her nipple to her friends and family by mistake. HA HA HA! This story brought me so much joy.

On to other idiots…
Rod Blagojevich (again NOT a celebrity), WILL appear on Celebrity Apprentice, yet another reason not to watch Trump’s show ever again.

And even more idiots…
Stephanie Pratt was busted for DUI. I wonder what bible thumper sista -in-law Heidi Montag will have to say about this? Maybe Heidi can get Stephen Baldwin to baptize Stephanie for her. ‘Cause we all know just how beneficial it was for Heidi. Praise Jesus!

And on to the King  and Queen of idiots…
Jon Gosselin is still hated by the majority of America. Well wait a minute…I stand corrected. Octomom, Nadya Suleman told Radar Online she thought Jon Gosselin was hot and has a crush on him. Ummm… hot?Perhaps Nadya needs her eyes checked and should pick up a paper every once in a while. Oh that’s right, she has 14 children, who has time?

But sorry Octomon, Jon was too busy getting his sexy on in a fancy cab with gal pal Hailey Glassman.
Hey Jon, you sure you want to pass this up? Could be a new show fer yah!
How about “John +Nadya +14+ 8 = The Earth Spinning Off It’s Axis”?

Well not if TLC has anything to say about it! They are already suing Jon for breech of contract, of course.
And he also has been ordered to pay back $180,00.00 back to his account with Kate. Kate ALSO has been ordered to pay some money back too. Seems like Karma has been rearing it’s ugly head with those two.

And speaking of Octomom, the Doc that implanted the SIX embryos (one split into two) into Octomom has been booted from the practice where he was employed for not following the rules. But of course he is still allowed to practice. Who knows what he will do now that he is on his own. I smell another reality show?
I can hear the promo now…
“Meet Dr. Eggo! He’s serving them sunny side up, so you too can have your very own reality show and start exploiting your very own litter of children in no time! Hey! Let Go Of My Eggo!”

Seriously, have you seen the latest clip of Octomon and her brood with all those kids crying? It makes me want to pull my hair out.

Speaking of child exploitation, Kate Gosselin tells Vanity Fair she ”feels like a prisoner” of her own fame and that the kids are starting to act out. STARTING to act out? Wow, if seeing Maddy in previous shows was only the start of her bitchdom, I woudn’t want to see her now. That child is not a force to be reckoned with! And please Kate…  let me get out the violin….you were being interviewed by VANITY FAIR and getting paid for it. Prisoner my ass!

On to more phony things….
Miss California, Carrie Prejean is being sued for her her boobs! K2 Productions (which directs the California USA pageant ) is asking Carrie for $5,200 back. I guess they paid for her boob job. K2 says it’s not about the money, and the money will go to charity. I doubt if will want the implants back. *snicker*

Speaking of cash….
Nicholas Cage is in a heap of debt. Cage is suing his former manager Samuel Levin for $20 million. Levin allegedly screwed with Cage’s money and Cage says that his manager is the one responsible for his current debt headache. Word of advice Nick…. don’t wait seven years before you check up on hired help that handles all your dough.

And on to big sloppy messes…
Anna Nicole Smith is back in the news again. Well, the court case of her doctors and Howard Stern that is.
In court, Larry Birkhead told a scathing account of Anna’s drug use while she was pregnant. 

Maurice Brighthaupt, former bodyguard of Anna, claims he saw Howard Stern, and Dr. Eroshevich injecting Anna with needles. He also said he saw Anna injecting herself. Why did this guy wait so long with this information? Supposedly Dr. Eroshevich was the bodyguard’s friend, as well as Stern. Sorry! No excuse.

Supposedly Anna Nicole was drinking pedialyte out of a baby bottle and laying in her own feces when found. Why was she ever brought to Florida in this condition? Now I know Anna was a complete mess with drugs, but when someone is that addicted to drugs and that incapacitated, she should have received help from the people around her, especially her doctors and those closest to her. Not checking into a Florida hotel. Stern was not present at her death, he was busy seeing a man about boat.

The IRS is also in play with Anna Nicole these days, and have filed a $125,112.86 tax lien on the estate of Vickie Lynn Marshall. So much for resting in Peace. Geez, what a mess.

And some weirdness in the news…
Marge Simpson is on the cover of Playboy’s October issue. Sorry, I didn’t find it at all amusing and I refuse to show a picture of it.
In fact I poo poo Playboy for advertising the Simpsons.

Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson, Scientologist extraordinaire, donated TEN MILLLION DOLLARS to Scientology in May of 2008. Anyone that supports the Simpsons in any way is inadvertently giving money to Scientology down the line. Why would Cartwright give the money to her children, when she would rather hand it over to Scientology? Gotta keep everything KSW! (Keep Scientology Working) Right Nancy? Hope she wakes up some day.

Speaking of naughty pictures.
Levi Johnston (former husband of Bristol Palin) will be posing for Playgirl and has been in the gym bulking up for his upcoming saucy shots. I also caught him on a commercial for Wonderful Pistachio nuts. Yes, the man who will soon be showing his nuts was hawking nuts on TV. The commercial shows him with an immense bodyguard and Levi is eating a few nuts and the tag line says “Now Levi Johnston does it with protection”
I kid you not. See the commercial for yourself!
Wow! Talking about pissing Palin off! Yeehaw!

But wait it gets better….
Levi was interviewed by Vanity Fair. The name of the article is “Me and Mrs. Palin”.

Levi dishes about Palin and her lack of parenting, her bad moods, Todd flipping out and Levi was quoted as saying,

“I thought, Was this woman—who, at home, would literally say things that did not make sense—really running for vice president?”

You go Levi! I have a new respect for the boy. *snicker*

Then we move on to more puzzling things…
The court case of John Travolta.
Readers are probably wondering why I haven’t reported on this case as of yet. The testimonies in the court case were changing on a such a daily basis with so much “he said/she said” garbage going on, and with changing stories, that if I wrote about what was happening as it happened, I would have had to edit the story every single day.

I will be covering this story when and if I feel that some sort of conclusion of sorts has been made. I will say that this case has been one big puzzle of unanswered questions on BOTH sides.

And speaking of The Travoltas moving on …
Both Kelly and John attended the IAS (International Association of Scientologists)
Scientology 25th Anniversary at Scientology’s St. Hill Org in England.
Sadly, it looks like John will not be leaving this cult any time soon.

Tom Cruise, Katie and Suri were also in attendance. Poor Katie and Suri.

Scientology wanted people to believe that 4,000 people were in attendance at their event. ROTFL!
That number is just classic Scientology spin in which they are so famous for. They usually have to fly and bus tons of people in, as well as dressing up their Sea Orgers members to fill in the seats so it will look full. Reason for this? So their IAS PR photo will look like they are still successful to their members. It’s an old smoke and mirrors trick of Scientology, so they can continue to deceive their members. Lovely, isn’t it?

The IAS is nothing more than members donating money to Scientology. (which the majority goes straight to cult leader David Miscavige) In return for their donation, they get a discount on courses, auditing and such. Which is not a discount at all since they are donating money. Duh!

Cruise and Travoilta have donated millions and millions of dolllars to Scientology. Exactly what Scientology does with all that money as fas as “helping” to “clear the planet”  is a mystery. The money goes to buy more buildings that stand idle, make Miscavige richer and pay for all their pending court cases, lawyers and Sci goons. Oh! and I almost forgot, they have to pay their Sea Org slave labor members about .25 cents an hour.

US Magazine reported on the 25th Anniversary and quoted Cruise about the Scientology protestors outside the event:

Later, during a reception, Cruise was overheard chatting with another American man about the protesters outside the venue. “They’re squirrels,” Cruise said angrily, according to a witness. “Stuck in an electronic incident. It makes me so angry!”

“Protesters are squirrels stuck in an electronic incident?”
Oh Tom, you certainly are one brainwashed mofo.
A ”squirrel” in scio-speak, means someone that messes or changes the tech of dead cult founder L. Ron Hubbard. Aka “squirreling the tech”. And “stuck in an electronic incident” is more scio babble from Hubbard’s work.

I wonder if Cruise actually said this though? Personally, I think if anything he would of called the protesters SP’s (suppressive people) not squirrels. And I think the “stuck in an electronic incident” line may have been borrowed from a video of another wacky Scientologist named George, which we reported on recently. Many duplicate videos of Scientologist George (who is an OTVIII, the highest that you can get on Scientology’s Bridge) showed up on YouTube and showed just how brainwashed Scientologists become the longer they stay in. The video is totally unscripted and SAD.

Cruise is supposedly an OTVII on The Bridge To Nowhere.

One more level to go Tom until you reach the tippety top to the Bridge of Total Freedom!
Yippee!
Good luck with that Tom! Wait till you see what OTVIII is all about!
SO worth the millions and millions of dollars that you blew. *snicker*

And now for something completely different and funny….
I was watching TV the other night, and there was a brief teaser for Season 6 of the steamy Nip /Tuck show, which started on Oct 14th. I thought I was seeing things, when I saw Mario Lopez completely decked out in black lingerie complete with a garter belt and black stockings. But no, I looked it up and yep it was none other than A. C. Slater (his name on Saved By The Bell) in drag!

Mario played Dr. Mike Hamoui on the series and he was seen in a steamy shower scene in a previous episode. Damn! I am going to have to start watching that show! Kudos for Mario for having the balls of steel for donning the less than flattering get up.

And even though Mario is one huge piece of eye candy…
sorry, this outfit just doesn’t cut it for me Mario. *snicker*

Looks like Spencer and Heidi have put a hold on their honeymoonin’.

Spencer Pratt aka Speidi (hate conjoined names with a passion) was interviewed by Pop Wrap of the NY  Post, and happened to mention that he hasn’t been gettin’ any from his wifey-poo because he is a fraid of her becoming pregnant. He is preventing Heidi’s dream of becoming a mother by refusing her sex. Oh Spencer, you are a side splitter!

He says that Heidi has him ”debating whether to cut off his nuts”. Considering there isn’t much to cut off in the first place Spence, I am sure there are many people standing in line who would be willing to do that for you.

Apparently, Spencer is mortified of Heidi going off birth control and not telling him about it. Hmmm, what’s that Heidi? Birth control? What would Jesus have to say about that?

Spencer also says that sex really isn’t a fact in their marriage. Wow, at their age, (or any age for that matter) I find that pretty sad and funny at the same time. Maybe they just totally bore each other to death in bed. Or perhaps they may be distracted by a mirror in the room and can’t stop looking at their reflections.

I guess Spencer and Heidi haven’t considered ALL the other alternatives they can do to get their groove on without doing the dastardly missionary position nasty. Perhaps you two should rent a couple of videos or buy a book or two?

But on the other hand.. maybe it’s a good thing that they are not reproducing. Speidi offspring is a frightening notion. After all, what will they do when their baby gets more attention then them? Oh the inhumanity!

At any rate, for the life of me, I don’t see how discussing their sex life, or should I say the lack of their sex life is very complimentary to their already failing careers. It makes Spence look like more of a wuss, and the admittance of Heidi’s birth control use, makes them look like the phony Christians they truly are.

People wrote:

There are many things most people would rather not dwell upon when considering the facts behind the marriage between Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, perhaps the most reviled pairing in reality TV.

Thank God sex isn’t really a fact in their marriage, according to Pratt.

Speaking to the New York Post”’s PopWrap on Tuesday, Pratt, 26, says that he’s tried to prevent Montag, 23, from realizing her dreams of becoming a young mother – by refusing her sex.

“I’m not even kidding, my wife – OK, I’m gonna get crass here – but we’re barely having sex because I’m scared that she’s gonna have a baby,” he says. “That’s the level our marriage is on right now. I’m not even kidding – my wife has me debating cutting off my nuts.”
Hidden Fear
Behind his abstinence is his fear that Montag might go off her birth control without telling him, he says.

“She’s not the kind of person who would lie – she would just walk away and not answer the question,” he says. “So yes, I’m very concerned. Our sex life has dramatically changed recently.”

Pratt, who hints that he’d like to go on a double-date with President Barack and Michelle Obama to “share the spotlight,” and bashes frequent Speidi mocker Joel McHale, host of The Soup, as “a struggling wannabe actor just clowning on reality stars,” also gets in a dig at Lauren Conrad – whom he claims quit the MTV reality show only as a ruse to get more money.

“She quit The Hills because Speidi was getting more famous than her. So she quit thinking the show would end, but she was wrong. Her ego ruined her life and her career,” he says. “I pray for her every day and we’d all love for her to come back to The Hills when she realizes her move didn’t work.”

Pratt says he wants to go on a double date with Obama? *laughs holding sides*

Gee, what would that conversation be like over dinner? Would love to be a fly on the wall during that outing.
Maybe the double date would go something like this….

Obama: “So Spencer, why are you famous again? And why did I agree to this double date?” (as Michelle ducks into the bathroom for the 3rd time since they sat down to dinner, to avoid talking to Heidi.

Spencer answers Obama: “Uh… excuse me? I was on I Am A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here dude!”

Heidi corrects Spencer and says, “WE were on the show“.

Obama says, “is that the show that you two left early and Heidi was crying all the time?”

Heidi interupts and starts to cry and whine… ”Yeah but… they were SO unfair! And there was icky bugs and stuff. And I was the only awesome person on the whole show! And if it wasn’t for Jesus, I would have left even earlier than holding out for those four torturing days. Thank God Baldwn baptized me on show”

Spencer chimes in “ahem! WE we the most awesome people on that show. We totally ruled dude.”

Spencer then asks Obama, “Well then, how about The Hills? Have you seen how awesome we were on The Hills?”

Obama, annoyed, realizing what losers they are….looks at his watch and says, “NO“.
 
Michelle comes back to the table and Obama gives the hint to Michelle for them to leave by shifting his eyes back and forth towards the door.

Spencer  says,  “you never heard of the Hills? Dude! that’s like SO impossible.”

Obama stands up and says, “well we really should be going, I have an important meeting tomorrow”

Spencer says, “ok cool man, you must be really busy with all the President dude stuff and all. Maybe we can do this again some time”The Obamas pretend not to hear Spencer as they hurry out the door.

Spencer proudly sits back and says ”Man, they totally loved us.”

And Heidi says, “Totally”

Spencer grabs Heidi’s leg, winks and says, “come on…. let’s get out of here and do some serious dry humping. Which I am totally rad at.”

Heidi says “Totally“.
End scene.

*Sigh*
I digress…
So back to not having sex and their dwindling careers….

Spencer and Heidi can always live off Heidi’s line of whore bag clothes called Heidiwood. (if they are still selling that is) I find the name Heidiwood for her fashion line totally ironic now.

Maybe they should change the title to “Speidi-Blue-Balls” and feature bedazzled chastity belts. Awesome!

Word of advice Speidi… Save your money dudes. I think your future careers will involve Heidi eventually doing a commercial for tampons. And down the line you both may be asking if people want paper or plastic.

Or perhaps you two can do a Christian public service video on abstinence? I can just imagine what it would sound like…. 
Spencer would say, “Just don’t do it dudes, you end up with babies and junk”
And then Heidi would say, “Besides sex can be SO icky! Yuck!”

I say if you want some really big bucks there’s always the all mighty sex tape leak that you two can fall back on. A comedy sex video that is. *snicker*

Oh wait….that’s  right… you ain’t gettin’ any.

Speidi Off To Dry Hump Like….Ummm, Errr…Rabbits?

Looks like Tawny Kitaen just can’t stay out of trouble.

Tawny aka Julie “Tawny” Kitaen starred in Bachelor Party with Tom Hanks back in 1984. She was also in a movie that she is probably not too proud of called The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik-Yak  aka Gwendoline in 1985 and then a horror flick, Witchboard in 1986.
Gwendoline was about:

” a 1985 erotic adventure based on a French comic strip. Stowing away on a China-bound freighter to search for her long-lost father, virginal Gwendoline (Kitaen) ends up in the clutches of randy sailors — till a daring adventurer (Brent Huff) saves her. Heading upriver to find Gwen’s dad, they soon crosses paths with the female warriors of the Yik Yak tribe.”

Wow! How she was able to get any work after that movie is pretty amazing. 

Tawny is most famous for her romp atop the hood of a jag in a video for Whitesnake. For all you youngins’ out there… Whitesnake was a big hair rock band back in the 1980’s.

The video she starred in was for their song “Here I Go Again” sung by her ex HUSBAND, lead singer. David Coverdale. (ick… sorry, he always grossed me out)
For a blast from the past, click here to watch a fuzzy version of her friskyvideo that guys are stil talking about today.

Her marriage to Coverdale only lasted a few years. And six years later in 1997, she married St. Louis Cardinals pitcher, Chuck Finley. They had two children Wynter and Raine.

Earlier Picture Of Much Happier Times

But trouble came knocking again when Tawny was arrested for beating Finely with one of her stiletto heels while he was driving and she was on the passenger seat.  MEOW!
Yeah, I know all the guys out there are probably thinking that sounds crazy sexy and hot. But sorry guys, it’s just crazy. And that little tiff could have killed the both of them.

Needless to say, three days later and not surprisingly, Finely filed for a divorce, which ended their five year marriage. And it’s also when the custody battle started for their kids.

Tawny continued her spiral down with continuing her addiction to drugs and alcohol. She starred in the sixth edition of Surreal Life and I remember watching that show. She really came off as quite the whack job. It was evident that she was high as a kite on that show. (well to me anyways)

She continued her reality show career on a stint with Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. I also watched this show.

Tawny with Dr. Drew

She was totally different on this show compared to her behavior on the Surreal Life. I thought she was doing pretty good, by the end of the show and she also “graduated”. (of course we all know to take these shows with a grain of salt and that the reality part of these shows is pretty slim)

On VH1’s Celebrity Rehab website , it read:

 Tawny thanked fellow rehabbers for giving her hope, and friendship, something she really hasn’t had in the past.

I wonder what ex husband Finely thought about that statement?

Tawny then went on to an outpatient program in Newport Beach, so that she can be close to her family. Sure glad that she didn’t pick to go Scientology’s phony Narconon program and I hope she never does. Why am I mentioning Scientology? Because Scientology pounced on another rehabber from the show, Jeff Conoway when he left the show early.

Thanks to fellow Grease star, John Travolta. Travolta gave Conoway a whole library of Scientology books and the service of a Scientology ”auditor” who visited Conoway almost every day. Out of the pan and into the fire I say. Shame on Travolta for getting Conoway mixed up in the cult. Just utterly sickening.

Even though Conoway may have been tricked into thinking that Scientology actually helped him kick his addiction, their success rate for helping drug addiction through their Purification Rundown is actually like 6%. Not the trumped up numbers they lie about.

I haven’t heard anything further on Conoway and Scientology. I hope he dumped them like a lead balloon and finds some REAL help and without the cameras rolling this time.

Let’s hope the Scientology vultures keep their mitts off Tawny, as she would be the perfect candidate with her rocky past, her fragile state of mind and her addictions. Which to Scientology…Tawny would be “fresh meat” and prime for the picking.

So what is going on with Tawny now?
Well that brings us up to her latest escapade of getting pulled over for alleged  *snicker* DUI.

Eonline wrote:

Better get Dr. Drew on the phone.

Celebrity Rehab alum Tawny Kitaen was taken into custody Saturday afternoon near John Wayne Airport in Santa Ana, Calif., on suspicion of driving under the influence.

The 48-year-old former actress/reality star allegedly “made contact with officers after operating a vehicle while under the influence,” according to Sgt. Shontel Sherwood of the Newport Beach Police Department.

Kitaen, who has also appeared on VH1’s The Surreal Life, was busted in 2006 on drug possession charges, after police found 15 grams of cocaine in her San Juan Capistrano apartment.

The Whitesnake music video babe struck a plea deal with prosecutors in which they agreed to drop the felony drug charges after she completed a drug treatment program.

Geez Tawny!
Two failed marriages, drug addiction, alcohol problems, busted for felony drug possession and two rehab failures. Yikes! Aren’t you done yet?

So I wasn’t too surprised when I saw that the LA Times reported this past March that she put up her house up for sale in Newport Beach with an asking price is $3.45 million. *shakes head*

Egad Tawny!
Get your sh*t together! You have two kids!
You have obviously ignored several GIANT wake up calls.
Save what’s left of your life and got off that roller coaster before you become a statistic.

If not for you, then do it for your two kids who deserve to have their Mom be there for them.

Recently, Juliette Lewis was interviewed by Craig Ferguson on The Late Late Show. What the hell is wrong with her? Really? Yeah, I know she has always been wacky, but she sounds totally out of her mind now more than ever.

I was surprised that Craig Ferguson even had her as a guest on the show and that she agreed to go on the show to begin with, especially since he has been mocking Scientology pretty heavily for quite a while now. But as usual, I would imagine because Lewis is a celebrity (I use the term lightly), that she is out of the loop as far as what is going on in the real world. Particularly if its anything anti-Scientology.

I believe that Ferguson was mocking her during the whole interview and she was too dumb to realize it. After all, Ferguson did do a parody of the famous Tom Cruise Scientology video, and seems to enjoy being snide at Scientology’s expense.

Lewis was being interviewed for her new CD called Terra Incognita. Rolling Stone gave it 2 1/2 stars. I think they were being a bit generous, okay, A LOT generous.

Not surprising to me was the fact that Terra Incognita is also the name of an article written in 1949 by Scientology cult founder L. Ron Hubbard and published in The Explorers Journal. The title of the piece was “Terra Incognita: The Mind”

Not terribly shocking, when you consider the fact Lewis is a raging Scientologist and sadly was born into it. Shame on Lewis’ parents.
Her Scientology records, shows that she went “clear” in 1997, and she has been quite the busy gal at the Celebrity Cente, spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on courses and auditing. 

Her Scientology records also show she did the dangerous Purification Rundown in 1993. Juliette has also been on the Scientology cruise ship the Freewinds twice. Which means she has been exposed to asbestos twice, since it wasn’t until April 2008 when the Freewinds was shut down by the Curacao Drydock Company due to the blue asbestos on board. I also doubt Juliette knows how much of a polluter the operators of the Freewinds are.

Although she supposedly legally emancipated from her parents at age 14, I still say shame on her parents for getting her into Scientology.

Her Mom is Glenis Batley, a graphic designer and her Dad is, actor Geoffrey Lewis. He is also listed as a “clear” in the Scientology database. He is in a band called Celestial Navigations with fellow Scientologist Geoff Levin (whom he met at the Celebrity Center) Celestial Navigations is a band which started out in the late 60’s and began touring again a couple of years ago.

The band uses story telling. together with music and is way, WAY out there. I did a quickie look around their MySpace page and website and knew immediately I fell into a L. Ron Hubbard Scientology blackhole. So a word of caution, if you hear that Celestial Navigations is performing or doing a “benefit”, please know that the proceeds from your ticket purchase may just end up in Scientology’s pockets down the line.

Scientology artists sneak things into songs all the time. Several of Beck’s songs and titles have Scientology references — which all sucked. As we mentioned in a previous article, Beck did a “benefit” concert and did not tell his fans that the proceeds were going to a Scientology front group called Educating Children International. Slick move Beck.

So back to Juliette on The Late Show…

She was babbling on about being inspired by pixie dust and magic, and said:

“You know, the kind that lives in your imagination”.

Of course we know Juliette.

She goes on about her outfit, (which by the way I have to give her credit for those fabulous boots) and how she doesn’t wear animal fur (good girl) and explains that her outfit has feathers on it, not fur, and that when birds drop their feathers, you can pick them up and then put them in your clothes.  I do that all the time myself. You should see my pigeon sweater. Ick!

They discussed her new CD,  and the CD cover, which pictures her pulling a bull by a red rope. She says it was a vision that came to her and that it was a metaphor for so many things. Emphasis on the BULL Juliette.

So what has Juliette said about her band “The Licks” in the past:

“Disillusionment, joy and pain, the contrast of sound… heaven and earth, really groovy big-bottom bass and drums and then very atmospheric mercurial guitars. I was trying to get my sonic soul poured out on record. It’s like heaven in a vat of lava that’s about to explode.”

Ummmm yeah. Well I have heard the Licks and I do agree on one thing she said. The word pain. They are very painful to watch. Speaking of painful. If you didn’t catch her singing (I use the term VERY lightly)  ”I Will Survive” with Eve at a Detroit night club prepare to cringe. Click Here. 

This is the kind of crap that makes me nuts. With all the people trying to make it in the music industry today, along comes doofus Juliette Lewis and the Licks, who simply can’t sing a lick, or play for that matter, yet, they are getting gigs. Just sickening.

Juliette did announce on the show that her band was no longer going to be called The Licks, as one of the “band” members is going in another direction. Smart move dude.

As the interview continues, Lewis mentions sky diving out of nowhere. Do you think she is possibly suffers from ADD? It would make sense. Although of course any mental problems she may have do not exist in Scientology land.

Call me crazy, but I think this interview may have hurt the few sales she would have had for her CD? Of course that’s not counting all the Scientologists who are told to buy more than one copy. (suckers)

You just have to simply watch the clip of The Late Show yourself, so you can see exactly what I am talking about. Click here and be horrified.

To complete the torture, Lewis also performed a song on the show.
WHY? I hate to keep repeating myself… but again, there are so many talented people out there who will never get the chance to make it, and here’s Juliette Lewis stinking up the stage. Click here and be disappointed.

Between her former drug problems, alcohol use and Scientology helping her to further screw up what little brain cells she has left, Lewis sounds like she is on her way to a padded room. When talking about her CD she said,

 ”That’s where she wants to go sonically and physically and lyrically and all those things”.

How proud do you think Scientology is over an interview like this? If you look at the celebrity members that Scientology brags about, (you know, every “church” does that) it’s not looking too good for them.

You have Tom Cruise, who is crashing and burning, Will (I am not a Scientologist) Smith and Jada, who just opened a Scientology school, Kirstie Alley whose weight and current nuttiness has not been the best advertisement, then on to Lisa Marie Presley who has had a wacky past and is being sued by her maid, Isaac Hayes who died on a treadmill with a heart condition, and John Travolta who continues to suffer over the death of his son Jett and just may walk away from them completely (fingers crossed). Of course we can’t forget to mention the crazy sauce that is, Jenna Elfman who was quoted as saying:

 ”Aids is not a disease, it’s a state of mind”

So what have all these Scientology celebrities proven? That they have been totally duped by a cult and obviously Scientology doesn’t work AT ALL. They all seem to be getting wackier and wackier, and if anything, Scientology proves to be a real career adjuster — and not in a good way.

I hope some day these stars snap out of it and leave this crazy cult that turns their heads into jello. But if they decide to stay in, I hope they continue with their nutty behavior and shenanigans which work like kryptonite against joining Scientology.

Kudos to you, Juliette, for the lovely interview with Craig! Keep on doing exactly what you are doing. We need all the help we can get to show how much Scientology is exactly what it is…BULLSHIT!

All Celebrities? Who Do You Recognize?

VH1 has just announced its newest motley crew of rehabbers who will embarrass themselves in the upcoming Season 3 of “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew Pinksy.”

Dr. Drew is a board certified internist and an addiction medicine specialist who holds the hands of these troubled celebs. Sounds like a pretty crappy job if you ask me.

For those of you who not familiar with “Celebrity Rehab,” it’s a reality show for stars with various addiction problems. These troubled “stars” agree to enter a rehab center in Pasadena Ca. for treatment under the care of Dr. Drew and a staff of former addicts.

Dr. Drew is previously famous for his Los Angeles radio show, “Loveline,” and also a show on MTV called Sex With Mom And Dad. But the last couple of years, Dr. Drew has been hit with the reality show bug and will be joining Celebrity Rehab for its third season. Dr. Pinksy is also involved in another reality show called “Sober House.” This spin-off show is for graduates of “Celebrity Rehab” who go into a communal home after “graduation” and try to make it on their own with some supervision, rules, chores and curfews.

In the past, Celebrity Rehab has had such guests as Steven Adler, ex drummer of Guns N’ Roses, Rod Stewart’s son Sean, ex female wrestler Chyna, actors Gary Busey and Jeff Conaway, as well as several other assorted Z-listers.

For the life of me, I can’t understand why anyone would agree to do this show. Do these stars really want to put another nail in the coffin of their already embattled careers by advertising their drug and alcohol problems? Or perhaps they are they looking to revamp their careers? I hate to use the term has beens, but these stars have not been in the limelight for quite some time, and some of them I wouldn’t consider stars at all.

For example, last season, when the show featured Rod Stewart’s son Sean and ballerina turned porn gal/failed politician/adult toy store owner Mary Carey. Seriously, how are these people considered “stars” by any stretch of the imagination. Reality television really is the first sign of the end of times. You read it hear first.

As sad as all this may seem, it gets worse and VH1 seems to be really scraping the bottom of the barrel for Season 3.
Do people really consider some of these people stars? Who’s next on deck for Season 4? Madonna’s plumber?

According to VH1:

VH1 has once again partnered with Dr. Drew Pinsky for a third season of the hit reality series Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. The series, consisting of eight one-hour episodes, is slated to premiere in early 2010.

Similar to the first two cycles, the third season of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew will follow the real-life experiences of celebrity patients undergoing detoxification and treatment at the Pasadena Recovery Center. The show will follow Mackenzie Phillips (One Day At A Time), Heidi Fleiss, Dennis Rodman, Mindy McCready (country music singer), Lisa D’Amato (America’s Next Top Model), Mike Starr (Alice in Chains), Kari Ann Peniche (ex-Miss United States Teen) and Joey Kovar (Real World Hollywood).

The series will chronicle the patients’ intensive 21-day program with both group and one-on-one therapy and non-traditional therapies like art and music. Returning to the show to help Dr. Drew are drug counselor Bob Forrest and resident technician Shelly Sprague who have each spent years on both sides of the rehab fence. Dr. Drew is also bringing in some additional prominent physicians to help him give the patients supplementary one-on-one care.

Uhhhh, I thought this show was called CELEBRITY Rehab? Heidi Fleiss, the ex Hollywood Madame? What is she famous for? Being a whore-peddler and a tax evader?

Back in 2008, Heidi was charged with driving without a license, possession of dangerous drugs without a prescription, under the influence of a controlled substance and driving under the influence of a controlled substance. Which foiled her plans to open the first wind powered brothel.  FOR WOMEN! That’s right… a spa combo brothel for women to get pampered in EVERY way possible. I kid you not.

And here I thought I could go to this 60-acre stud farm when it opened to make a full and DETAILED report. *wink, wink*

But in the end, Heidi said she has decided against it:

“I don’t want to work so hard…and deal with all the nonsense in the sex business” 

Oh well, that was one story I was really looking forward too. Maybe she will have a change of heart on Celebrity Rehab and find it too difficult to deal with. Or maybe she can turn the rehab center into a brothel during her short stay.

Fleiss has always given me the heebie geebies. What is up with her lips anyways? Another plastic surgery gone WAY wrong? Or too much tonsil teasing? Yes I said it, your heard me. Now please excuse me while I go bathe in Purell.

Eeeewwww

As for the rest of the cast…..Lisa D’Amato? WHO? Kari Peniche? WHO? Joey Kovar? WHO? WHO? WHO?

At least we all know Mackenzie Phillips from her early role in American Graffiti, then on to the sitcom “One Day At A Time,” where it was reported she had drug problems even way back then.  Mackenzie is the love child of the late John Phillips of the Mamas and the Pappas and half sister to Scientologist Bijoux Phillips. (blech!) I guess we can all be thankful Bijoux hasn’t managed to get McKenzie into that dern cult. Let’s hope it stays that way.

Then there’s Dennis Rodman. He was just recently on the “Apprentice” where he apparently made a complete ass out of himself with his drinking problem. So perhaps Dr. Drew can talk some sense into him. Let’s hope he keeps his wedding dress at home this time? On a sidenote: Rodman in a wedding gown and full make up and wig shoots down the claim that every bride is beautiful.

Work It Girl

So back to reality…well sort of. Just how much or these “reality shows” are in fact reality?

But wait, there’s more…

Delusional attention whores have to get their start somewhere and there’s no place better than straight off the John Mayer Peen Ride of fame-whoring. Above is a video featuring the alleged “new” girlfriend (now ex of course) of singer/songwriter John Mayer, who as we know, had an on and off relationship with actress Jennifer Aniston.

Well, as is often the case with karma, it’s a bitch. Scheana Marie is giving John Mayer a dose of his own medicine. In the above video Scheana talks about how she met John, what she likes about John, what she and John do together, what kind of underwear John likes (ok, I made up that last one) and so on and so forth. In essence she just put the final nail in her dead-end relationship coffin by doing the one thing famous people hate when hooking up with the non-famous: she blabbed about it.

It’s only fair though, because John Mayer used Jennifer Aniston (and vice versa it seems) to raise his fame-level and then went on to blab about their relationship in every form possible, including TMZ impromptu interviews, on his blog, in the tabloids and of course, on his Twitter page. Dude has a major case of logorrhea and pretty much deserves to have some dimwitted blabbermouth talking to anyone who will listen all about their special pillow-talk times to the world.

Dumb whores, both of them. Welcome to irrelevance Scheana, your 15 minutes are up.

This has my blood boiling.  Not much makes me this angry, but violence against a child, animal, or an elderly person does.

Some actor guy named Joseph Petcka (anybody ever heard of him before now?) killed his girlfriend’s cat and claimed self-defense:

A man accused of slaughtering his girlfriend’s cat was so obsessed with the tiny tabby that he wrote about it in his diary, the tearful woman testified yesterday at his bizarre feline-bludgeoning trial.

In the weeks before lay-about actor Joseph Petcka admittedly kicked cat Norman to death, he was already oddly fixated with earning the skittish orange and white cat’s affection, Lisa Altobelli told a Manhattan jury. [...]

Petcka loved his successful girlfriend, writing her love poems and tenderly drawing her portrait. But Altobelli saw the relationship as “casual,” she told jurors, even as she lavished her love on Norman. She let the cat sleep at the foot of her bed, and called him “my little buddy,” and “my little fluffball.”

Norman, as well, wasn’t feeling the love for the boyfriend.

“When Joe would come into the room, he would start hissing,” Altobelli told jurors. “He was visibly terrified,” she said of Norman. “He would run to the other side of the apartment.”

That should have been the first sign right there to get this sorry sack of fetid fecal matter outta her life.  Animals are excellent at gauging people, I have found.  And he wrote about the cat in his diary?  Did it have a tiny little lock and gold embossed letters that said “My Diary” on the front?  Was it pink with little yellow daisies?  I thought men kept journals, not “diaries”.

After incidents such as coming home to find the cat wet and shivering and her “boyfriend” offering no explanation, things came to a head:

Things spun wildly out of control on the last day of their six-week affair, March 27, 2007, Altobelli testified.

Petcka ransacked her liquor cabinet, guzzling whiskey, wine and cider.

He threatened to put Norman in the microwave and nuke him, insisting the cat had bit him on the hand.

Altobelli then left, hoping Petcka would cool down.

She knew something was terribly wrong, she told jurors, when she returned home at 5 a.m. and Norman didn’t come running to the door. The cat’s food, fur and feces were everywhere, she said.

She found Norman’s body in his “special spot,” she said – the space under her bedside nightstand where he hid when scared.

“He was dead,” she said, sobbing. “I put my hand there and he was just cold and stiff. I pulled him out.” Then she stopped, unable to continue.

Hell would have frozen over before I would have left my beloved pet alone with a drunken mouthbreather who threatened to put it in the microwave.  Either pet and I would have left together or jerkface would have found himself on his sorry behind outside on the sidewalk.  Anybody who threatens to microwave my cat is going to be feasting on their own microwaved testicles.  However, I’m not going to beat up this girl any more than I am sure she already is doing to herself.  I feel for anyone who has to go through something like this, but she certainly showed poor judgement…I’m sure she knows that now, though.

But now we have another NY Post writer chiming in on the subject…Andrea Peyser writes that the little eight-pound kitty “deserved every blow”:

THE stupid cat had it coming.

Forgive me, all you animal- rights nuts, you freaky lovers of things furry, fierce and woefully incontinent. I’ve got something to say to all assorted people who’ve got nothing better to do with their days than stick their noses in another man’s litter box.

The dead cat at the center of a whacked-out catricide trial now eating up precious court time and tax dollars in downtown Manhattan is no innocent wittle victim.

Norman the Cat, who was pummeled to death last year at the age of 8 by an inarguably hot, allegedly drunk, former Met minor leaguer and bit-part actor named Joseph Petcka, had serious issues.

The first of which may have been his name.

Owner Lisa Altobelli testified yesterday that she named Norman after the zhlubby character Norm from “Cheers” – “my favorite show.” Norman Bates sounds more accurate.

No one likes to see a little frisky drowning in a pool of his own blood. Well, not many.

But Petcka had grown tragically fixated on the idea of getting along with the pet pussy that Altobelli called “my little buddy.” He wrote in his diary that he’d made “progress” getting the pea-brained flea bag to allow Petcka to pet him.

Early on March 27, 2007, Altobelli testified, Petcka had too much to drink. She said he chanted, in a weird, sing-songy voice, “Nor-man. Nor-man!”

So Altobelli did what anyone overly attached to a neurotic hairball would do when danger was afoot: She left Petcka alone in her apartment with her beloved cat.

Hours later, Altobelli returned. She found the puss under a table.

“He was cold,” she said, crying crocodile tears and hanging her head petulantly.

Petcka claims the thing sank his teeth into his hand. So he had to violently knock him away.

Innocent victim? Or kitty provocateur?

Why can’t we just ask Petcka to clean a few hundred litter boxes, and end this fiasco?

Well, I’ve got something to say to you, you arrogant, snotty, egotistical, contemptible, odious, sorry excuse for a so-called journalist…there’s no way in the world that a loving pet ever “deserves” to be bludgeoned to death.  Even if the kitty were to bite someone, that is no excuse for a grown man to kill it, especially not in such a horrific manner.  Let’s see…eight pound cat against grown athletic adult man.  Seem like a fair fight to you?  Can you even imagine the sort of fury one would have to work up to bludgeon a cat to death?

Not to mention that violence against pets is often directly linked to violence against people…someone who abuses animals is much more likely to also abuse people.  What if this had not been a cat, but a child?  Would Little Miss Kitty-Hater be so likely to defend this jerk then?  Replace ”cat” in the original story above with “toddler” or “child” and see what story you can come up with.  Would she have been so quick to label him a hunk then?

(Oh, and this isn’t the only article she’s done on the subject…here’s one where she talks about the trial, and here’s one where she gets orgasmic about what a hunk this guy is.)

Here’s a few stats on the relationship between violence against pets and against people:

Even if a spouse has never been violent towards YOU, it’s vital that you take even the threat of violence against a pet seriously – not only for the pet’s safety, but for your own as well. Tons of research has been done on the issue of animal abuse and the relation to child abuse and spouse battering and the facts are in: threats or actions against your pet are a very strong indicator that violence is on the way for you or your children.

Of 50 shelters surveyed about women and children escaping from domestic violence, 85% said that women in their shelter talked about pet abuse, 63% of children talked about pet abuse, and 83% said that they had observed the coexistence of domestic violence and pet abuse. [...]

Further research indicates that 70% to 75% of women reporting domestic violence also reported that their partner had threatened and/or actually hurt or killed one or more of their pets. Actual (as distinct from threatened) harm to pets represented the majority (57%) of reports.

Chances are, if someone says they are going to hurt your pet, they will…just like if they say they are going to hurt you, they will.  At the first sign of threatening behavior towards her cat, this woman should have thrown this guy out on his brains.

Look, I have two cats, littermates, and they don’t always behave like angels.  One in particular is very sensitive to changes in emotional atmosphere, and if my husband or either of my kids is arguing with me, he is very likely to sit and ‘holler’ at us (in kittyese, of course), and sometimes he has even smacked or tried to bite the other person, but only in the heat of the moment.  Otherwise, he is a very loving cat.  He thinks of me as his momma, so in his little kitty brain I guess he is protecting me, even though these people are people he lives with and loves on every other occasion.  There are tactics I can use if I feel either kitty is getting out of hand to bring them back into line that calms them down, but neither cat will put up with anyone being “mean” to me.  Perhaps Norman had picked up on this guy’s personality and was trying to warn his owner, using the only communication that he had at his disposal, that this jerk was a loser.  Our pets communicate with us, we just don’t always recognize it.

I am an animal lover.  I bottlefed my cats when they were orphaned at three weeks old.  I ran into a burning house, saved one cat, and had to help the firefighters pick through the dark, wet, smoldering ashes to find the other cat (alive and well, albeit wet and dirty, thank God).  If you love your animals as much as I do, let the NYP know this will not be tolerated.

I don’t normally do this, but if this sorry excuse for a woman is going to advocate violence against animals then I feel there is no other choice.  I urge you to write the NYP and demand that Ms. Peyser be removed from her duties at the NYP, such as they are, at least temporarily.  If she can’t grasp that a person being violent to an animal is not only a horrible thing in and of itself, but a sign of worse things to come, then she needs to keep her sorry opinions to herself.

According to the NY Post’s own TOS regarding their forums:

You agree that you will not submit Messages to Forums that:

• are unlawful, threatening, obscene, vulgar, pornographic, profane or indecent including any communication that constitutes (or encourages conduct that would constitute) a criminal offense, gives rise to civil liability or otherwise violates any local, state, national or international law; [...]

NYP reserves the right to immediately terminate your use of, or access to, this Site at any time if NYP decides at its sole discretion that you have breached this Agreement or any relevant law, rule or regulation or you have engaged in conduct that NYP considers to be inappropriate or unacceptable

I realize columnists are not posting in forums, but why have one set of guidelines for one area and not for another?  If someone in the forums made a post like that, it would be removed…so why allow it from a columnist?  I urge you to contact the NYP…but by all means, be respectful, do not threaten, do not do or say anything stupid, do not act like a jerk yourself, behave appropriately, but let them know this is outrageous:

Online Editorial and News: Erle Norton

Letters to the Editor: letters@nypost.com

Editorials, Columnists: letters@nypost.com

New York Post
1211 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10036-8790
(212) 930-8000

Disclaimer:  No, I do not advocate nor do I wish actual physical harm to come to Mr. Petcka or Ms. Peyser.  I was just using colorful language to express my complete, utter, and total disgust of their revolting behavior.  And I was holding back.

Worst Bond Girl Denise Richards has a new reality show to promote, and let me tell you something, E! is getting their money’s worth outta her.  Between she and fellow mom-pimp Dina Lohan, they’re getting the most publicity they’ve had since the ANS show was taken off.

Denise is making the talk show rounds and has appeared on several this week, but the one that interests me the most is the interview she did with the Today show’s Matt Lauer.  Supposedly on the morning chatfest to promote her new show, she once again took the opportunity to take several swipes at ex Charlie Sheen, which thus far seems to be her modus operandi:

Denise Richards insisted Wednesday she never asked for her ex-husband Charlie Sheen’s sperm, despite a document released exclusively to NBC News by Sheen containing a purported e-mail that Sheen claims proves she asked him in April 2007 to father a third child via artificial insemination.

“The e-mail’s not legitimate. It’s a doctored e-mail,” Richards told TODAY’s Matt Lauer Wednesday. She said that the message, which Sheen says Richards wrote to his current fiancée, Brooke Mueller, represents another attempt by the actor to discredit her.

Oh, Denise, about that show you’re doing?

Richards told Lauer that the document is simply not true. At the time, she said, she was caring for her mother, Joni, who had terminal cancer that would take her life in December 2007. The actress was also raising the two young girls she had by Sheen. The last thing she wanted was another baby.

“I was taking care of my dying mom. That’s what the public doesn’t understand,” Richards said. “I was raising my little girls. They’re young; they need me. My mother was the closest person to me. She was dying.”

Richards said that if she had wanted another child, she wouldn’t have asked for Sheen’s sperm, noting she was dating Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora at the time. “If I wanted anybody’s sperm, I would have asked for Richie’s,” she told Lauer.

Uh, yeah, but don’t you have a new television show to promote?

She said that the perception that she made [many] accusations [against Sheen] publicly is wrong. She made the statements in court filings that she had hoped would remain private, she said.

“The one thing I will clear up a lot of people don’t understand — I filed a declaration with the court. I never went on different shows and blasted my husband and aired our dirty laundry,” she said. “This is a private, embarrassing, personal matter.”

Hmm, yeah…private and personal. Gotcha. E!, show, ringing any bells?

Richards told Lauer that even that battle has been misrepresented by Sheen. She said that initially, he agreed to allow her to have Sam and Lola on the reality show, but in return for his consent, he asked for increased custody of the children.

“Charlie wanted me to agree to custody changes in our situation,” she said, addressing the issue for the first time. “I didn’t want to change the custody arrangement.”

Okay, never mind.

But wait, there’s more…

 

And crazazy baby daddy Charlie Sheen is not too happy about it.  Apparently Denise (whom I’ve personally never forgiven for screwing up The World Is Not Enough) is trying to get a reality show together and wants to use her 2- and 3-year-old daughters in it.  Charlie, understandably, is irate and the whole circus is headed to court today:

According to sources, Sheen is irate over the show’s intent to feature his and Richards’ two daughters, 3-year old Sam and 2-year old Lola.

“This goes against everything Sheen believes in… and he feels it’s exploitative of the children for the mother’s own vanity and greed,” a source close to Sheen reveals to Extra.

Charlie has to give his consent for anything like this to happen, and so far he has refused to do so.  Denise is going to court and try to get Charlie’s power as their father revoked in this matter so she can move forward without his permission.

Charlie Sheen isn’t one of my favorite individuals, but then neither is Denise Richards.  I can still hear her flappy lips…”Thumone’s tampered wit da baaaaawm!”  But she’s sinking to a whole new low with this one.  What sort of mom puts her toddlers on television in a reality show?  This is just a shameless, transparent, greedy grab for money by Denise, using her daughters as bait.  It isn’t like reality shows are real, anyway, and this sort of intrusion in her daughter’s lives could cause painful and lasting problems that could stay with them all their lives.  Whoring out her daughters for public consumption at this tender age is reprehensible and amoral.

And what makes her think the court will be sympathetic to a request like this?  If I were the judge in this case, I’d throw things at Denise and laugh.  Then I’d give Charlie a medal for putting up with her special brand of crazazy.  I’d kick him in the butt too, just for good measure, because I’m sure he deserves one.  But then I’d shake his hand for being the better parent in this case.

These poor little girls don’t know enough to make decisions like this on their own yet, so they depend on their parents to make the right decisions for them.  Unfortunately, they got stuck with these two, but at least their father is attempting to do the right thing this time.  I’m with Charlie on this one and I hope he kicks Denise’s butt right where it hurts, in the wallet area.

UPDATE:  Apparently some judges in Hollywood are stupider than others.  TMZ is saying that Denise can film her little reality show “with restrictions”.  We don’t know what those restrictions are, but we can assume that none of it involves things like “using brains” and “demonstrating care and concern as a parent” and “not emotionally pimping one’s daughters for fun and profit”.  Denise is reportedly happy, and if I were a betting person I’d say that Charlie is home punching holes in cement walls and chewing railroad spikes into halfpenny nails.

Just rename them Britney and Lindsay now and get it over with.