Rosie O’Donnel recently chatted with shock jock Howard Stern on Sirius XM Radio.

She dished about her not so fabulous relationship with her wife lately, Oprah Winfrey and Oprah’s BFF Gail. And oh yeah… that she thought her and Angelina Jolie almost hooked up once.

Was this wishful thinking on Rosie’s part? Or wishful thinking on Jolie’s part? Or just creepy Howard Stern with his usual everyday thoughts? *snicker*

First, about Oprah….
Both Rosie and Howard say they think that Oprah and BFF Gail are closer than they are letting people know.

From EOnline:

As for her thoughts on Oprah’s relationship with her BFF, Rosie and Howard think there may be some sparks.

“I don’t know that she and Gayle are necessarily doing each other,” Rosie said, “but I think they are the emotional equivalent of…”

“A gay couple,” the radio man finished.

“When they did that road trip, that’s as gay as it gets, and I don’t mean it to be an insult either,” Rosie explained. “I’m just saying, listen, if you ask me, that’s the couple.”

Doesn’t Howard imagine ALL women that have a relationship with another women of any kind in bed together? I can’t stand the man and he skeeves me out to no end. I bet his palms are always sweaty. EWWWW!

As far as Rosie thinking that Oprah and Gail are a couple? 
I just think her bringing up Oprah and Gail was ridiculous and a real yawn fest.
Although Gail would have been a BIG improvement over Stedman! (I always considered him Mr Excitement)

Don’t get me wrong, I am not defending Oprah the Scientology cult sympathizer in any way. Even though everyone is eternally grateful to Oprah for having Cruise on her show, which led to the famous career end phrase “jumping the couch”.

Hey Tom! How’s That Scientology Going For You Lately?

So if you are keeping score, I find Howard Stern, Rosie AND Oprah all repulsive. Oh yeah Cruise too. All for different reasons. And none of those reasons have anything to do with sex.

So what about Oprah’s BFF Gail? I don’t think I have EVER thought of that women before in my life in any capacity what so ever. I find her as about exciting as a fence post. Although again, she still would have been a better pick than Stedman.
FYI…when Stedman and billionaire gal pal Oprah finally ended their 21 year old fling, he received $250 mil for his “years of ridicule and you better keep your mouth shut” severance package. Wonder what Oprah’s gal pal Gail will get? *snicker*

So where does Angelina Jolie come into this picture?

Well….
Rosie told Howard that she talked to Angelina on the phone a couple of times way back when.
Ohhhhhh! That’s where she got the idea that they were going to hook up. Who could blame her? WHAT?

Some more help from EOnline… Rosie said,

“She gave me her phone number,” Rosie said. “We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that. There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through.”

Fear got the best of Rosie and she wasn’t able to seal the deal.

“I was a little afraid of her,” she said. “She’s scary in a sexual kind of way. I have dreams about her a lot still.”

Dinner plans too? WOW! Now wonder Rosie thought that there may have been a little somethin’- somethin’ going on between them.
Are you freakin’ kidding me?

First off, I have to mention, that I find Angelina Jolie ALSO repulsive, and again, it has nothing to do with who she did, who she almost did, or who she is doing now. Which of course is Brad Pitt, who I can’t stand either since he hooked up with “Angelina -Jimmy- Deana”. My nickname for her because of her huge plumped up sausage-like lips. You know…. Jimmy Dean sausage?

And secondly…. who gives a rats ass?
Really. Sounds like Rosie is doing a little “shock jocking” herself to get some attention.
And does anyone really want to hear about Rosie’s….  ahem….”wet dreams?”

I think many people think that there is no way in hell that Rosie could have scored with Jolie and that Jolie is way out of Rosie’s league. You know because everyone thinks Jolie is Ms. Wonderful and her beauty is simply breath taking? *ROLLS EYES*

But remember when Jolie kissed her brother on the lips on camera way back when? That was WAY too long of a kiss for any one’s comfort. How about her fling with Billy Bob Thorton? (ick)
I really wouldn’t have been surprised one iota if she did actually hook up with Rosie back then. Nor would I have cared. Hell, I wouldn’t care now!

But of course times have really changed now for Jolie. She thinks that when she poops it should be bottled as perfume. And I would imagine that Jolie would think that Rosie is not worthy of having scary sex time with her now. Besides, Jolie is saving it all for BRADLEY. *puke*

I think it’s moronic that Rosie thought that a few phone calls and a dinner date than never happened was some sort of prelude to jumping in the sack with Jolie or anyone for that matter.

So a word of caution people……
If you are not into Rosie that way…. I wouldn’t talk to her on the phone. And whatever you do, don’t make any dinner plans with her. Because it will obviously be perceived as steamy foreplay and undoubtedly an invitation for sexy time.

Unless of course, you want to hit that…..

Where’s The Camel Toe Police When You Need Them?

His Highness Ian Halperin has a knack for meeting the A-List crowd. Today, while attempting to get out of town, Halperin stopped into a shoe shop in Manhattan and ran into Madonna’s stylist who was having some final alterations made on her outfit for a special appearance at the Roseland Ballroom in NYC tonight.

According to Halperin, the stylist was having work done to a pair of tall, white Everlast boots with flat heels, which looked like boxing shoes. Sounds zexy!!!

The stylist stated Madonna was doing a 6 song set Roseland for free. They also stated Madonna’s been working 15-hour days, focused non-stop on promoting her new album Hard Candy, and doesn’t miss a beat. The only think Madonna had been missing is her hubby Guy Ritchie, who hasn’t been seen with the Material Girl in weeks.

His Highness said this about the the hardest working woman in showbusiness:

“One thing I guarantee is Madonna’s Hard Candy is going to turn into hard cash. What amazes me is she’s working as hard as on this album, as if it were the first record she’s ever made. That’s real dedication.”

From Halperin’s front, he was featured on the syndicated Bulldog radio show yesterday morning, and will be doing an appearance on the Jay Thomas show on Sirius’ Howard 101 channel this Friday. Jay’s show is the featured program on Friday when the Howard Stern show broadcast taped best-ofs. Be sure to tune in and congrats to His Highness.

I wonder though, when is Ian going to reappear on Howard’s show? Surely that would make some compelling radio!

Not to beat a dead horse, but the whole Artie Lange flare-up this morning continues.

Today Sirius played the Howard Stern Show from April 7 all day, instead of this morning’s live show featuring co-host Artie Lange having a major meltdown, including a physical attack, after his assistant Teddy pissed him off. After listening to the audio of the fight I can see why Howard might censor this.

Artie is unhinged, Artie needs help. I still, after listening to this nasty, angry, filthy, dismissive and condescending diatribe, still like Artie. You know why? Because it’s not Artie attacking Teddy, it’s Artie’s addiction, depression, anxiety and self-loathing attacking Teddy. Teddy for his part is a mooch, a leech and exceptionally unqualified to handle a job dealing with creative types who have emotional problems. Few people are. But Teddy shouldn’t be borrowing money from his boss, seriously, that’s really low class and tacky. Artie may be difficult to work for, but he’s obviously a generous guy. Artie also seems to be having trouble distancing himself from his blue-collar beginnings and seems to think he has to surround himself by low-rent pieces of crap who are always hitting him up for dough. He’s like the Britney Spears of radio.

Artie shouldn’t have attacked Teddy physically, that was crossing a line, but Teddy is an ass for constantly sucking off of Artie.

Bottom line, Artie needs anger management, rehab, and to re-evaluate his priorities in this business. Howard needs to decide if having someone that volatile on his show is worth the risk. Robin needs to stop dropping the JC bombs, though I love her and she’s the only sane person on the show. Fred get’s major props for flying under the radar for years, YEARS I TELL YOU.

On some level, this is great radio because it’s REAL. And in this world of fake “reality” TV the reality of how we really interact with one another is refreshing. Ultimately, Howard pulled this show because he cares about Artie and while it goes against all he believes in, in the end, Howard does what Howard wants. This is why Howard for years stated he would never get married again, including never marrying Beth O., yet, what’s Howard doing? Marrying Beth. Why? Because he loves her and that means more to him than looking like a hypocrite. For this, Howard gets my respect.