Apparently Brooke Hogan can’t apply her own suntan oil, so she has daddy Hulk do it for her.  I take it they didn’t read my post the other day about the dangers of being fair and getting too much sun.  Oh yeah, and this is just creepy to look at.

Very few photos make me literally jump with surprise and fright, but these did.

Apparently Brooke got over her feelings of betrayal that her daddy was boinking her best friend…

They seem to be doing pretty well at playing happy families, although perhaps they should have taken this scene indoors.

What else can I say about these?  I need to go wash out my eyes with some Mercurochrome or something.

You know, when I first read this, it reminded me of manipulators who take someone emotionally weaker than they are and work on that, telling them that their family and friends don’t care any more, that the manipulator is the only one who TRULY cares.  I could be wrong, but then again…?

[Sam] Lutfi said of [Britney’s] family, “They have an agenda. Their agenda is jealously because they don’t fit in. I do. They see her three times a year.”

Britney was by the phone during Lutfi’s conversation with [Harvey] Levin [owner of TMZ]. Lutfi claimed he did not force Britney to buy a car, asking Brit, “Did I force you to buy a car.” In a heavy southern accent she responded, “No.” He continued, “Do I ever bug you.” She replied, “We argue.”

Is anyone else totally creeped out by that?  It’s like the manipulator and his prisoner…he brings her up out of her box to stand there and parrot monosyllabic answers while he does all the talking.

But what else is interesting about this little tidbit is this line:

Lutfi said there was no intervention last night, but then said Britney’s family “barged in.” For the record, the family is staging an intervention and Lutfi has been kept in the dark.

Um…HELLO?  Isn’t an “intervention” supposed to be a surprise thing?  It sounds like the only one surprised is Osmarmy because everybody else on the planet knows about it.  Way to keep it on the down-low, folks.

And like I said yesterday, I don’t think “intervention” is quite the correct term here…what are they going to say to her, if she doesn’t get help they’ll never speak to her again?  They barely speak to her now.  Or that they’ll withdrawal monetary support?  Um, she’s the one supporting them.  Perhaps they’ll not let her see her kids?  The court tried that, it didn’t work.  They aren’t planning an intervention…an argument, perhaps, or a strong talking-to, or a finger-waggle with a “no no no”, but not an intervention.

In other Brit news, she took delivery of a new Mercedes-Benz yesterday.  Yes, another one.  And apparently she went shopping for it in the middle of her, um, intervention:

As TMZ first reported, the family is staging an intervention so Britney can get help for her bipolar disorder. Family sources say they are furious at Lutfi, claiming he pushed Brit into going to B.H. Mercedes today to buy a new car — in the middle of the effort to save her.

And just what did she buy?  A black, two-seater, SLK 350 Mercedes-Benz, for which she paid $55,000.  Cash.  Paid in full.  What, no place for child seats?  Then she went out driving in it later that night, only to get lost and have to ask one of her pap friends to help.

That’s right, folks…all you who shelled out fifteen bucks for her CDs are co-conspirators with Osmarmy.  She used your money to buy a car that’s worth more than many people’s houses, possibly more than the houses of the very people who have supported her by buying her products.  That’s the money she uses to blow her life away, while her kids grow up with no mother.

Can I tie this very irrational decision to my theory on the effects of her menstrual cycle to her possible bipolar symptoms?

This is quite possibly the most frightening video of Brit I’ve seen yet.  I like what Michael from dlisted had to say about it:

Brit’s relationship with the paps is so f*cking strange. She’s standing there like a little girl and they are saying sh*t like “ooooh, it’s ok Britney…it’s ok…don’t be scared” while snapping away. It’s like they are petting her head and slapping her in the face at the same time.

(video language NSFW)

UPDATE:  TMZ is reporting that Brit is getting some medical help for her mental health issues, which apparently have been confirmed as bipolarity.  However, she is having the typical problem of taking her meds for a while, feeling better, and then stopping them:

Britney has seen doctors who have been referred by other doctors, plus doctors who have been referred by celebrities Britney knows, and doctors referred by her lawyers, family and friends. We’re told the process has been excruciating for her, partly because her disease is severe.

Sources tell slightly different stories about the efficacy of the medication. A friend says when Britney takes her medicine she is like “a different person — normal and sweet.” But she takes her meds for a while and then feels as if she can live without it — so she stops taking them — and her condition quickly deteriorates. But a professional tells TMZ flatly, “The medication just isn’t working.”

That same professional tells TMZ, “She’s really trying. Whether it works — we’ll have to see.” That person also says it’s extremely frustrating when the media shows video of Britney out on the town acting crazy, adding, “She has a disease. Sometimes when you see her she’s in the middle of an episode. It’s like mocking someone with Down syndrome.”

UPDATE#2:  You simply must see this video.  At some point she turns her shirt completely around and wears it backwards (you don’t see it on tape but it’s obvious).  And check out Osmarmy’s eyeroll.

WHERE IS HER MOTHER???

UPDATE #3:  According to X17 (I really hate that site, but sometimes it’s the only place to go for info, true or not), Brit has been up for over 60 hours.  It would seem this is the manic phase.

According to Janet Charlton, Hugh Hefner and one of his…um…well, Holly Madison visited a fertility clinic in hopes of continuing the Hefner bloodline:

Holly has been rhapsodizing about motherhood for the last two seasons on the show and she brings it up every chance she gets. Hef was against it at first, but eventually he started to weaken to the idea (keep in mind this would be his THIRD family) because Holly was so desperate to be a mother. Recently, Holly and Hef were seen in the waiting room of a Beverly Hills gynecologist who specializes in in vitro fertilization.

Okay.  I’m about to get controversial, so hold on to your shorts.

I’m not saying Holly shouldn’t have a chance to be a mother (although my views on celeb parenthood are pretty well-known by now…have a kid, drop out of sight for eighteen years and raise them out of the limelight so as not to screw them up too badly with the Hollyweird lifestyle coughbritneylindsayparis…you can always screw them up with your own special brand of crazazy, though, people with no money OR silicone chesticles have been doing that for years, where there’s a will there’s a way), but there are thousands of children waiting to be adopted who need good homes.  Now, I realize I’m equating “good homes” and “Playboy mansion”, but just because she’s a silicone-filled airheaded bottle-blonde poptart doesn’t mean she wouldn’t be a good mom.  And I know the adoption process can be lengthy, difficult, and expensive, but what else does she do with her days?  Put that money of Hef’s to good use for a change and adopt a child or two or three who really need good homes.

And I don’t think dad would be a hands-on type of father….I can’t see him getting up at 2 AM for diaper changes or having a mini tea party or taking Junior outside for a game of catch, so the kid might be safe from his influence.  Besides, how much longer is Hef going to be around, anyway?  She’d better be ready to be a single parent.

Listen to me.  Like any kid she comes into contact with is going to have any sort of normal upbringing.  Lesson for all you young things…one day you’ll want to reproduce, so live your life in such a way that you don’t have to run and hide the evidence when your kid asks you what you do for a living….listen to me again.  Like she would be embarrassed.  I’m going back to the real world now.

This whole Britney thing just gets weirder and weirder.  Let’s recap:  Last night, she had employees open Kitson at 1:30 in the morning so that she could drop $10,000 on merchandise (I was going to say that’s a lot of clothes, but when hoodies are $95, I guess that’s about one and a half shopping bags).  Four paparazzi were arrested after chasing her the other night and driving very erratically through the streets of LA.  She told police one of them tried to run her off the road, but could not identify who (so where was Anon Brazilianwax or Osama bin Loopy?  Can’t this girl afford a driver?  Or is that part of Anon’s master plan?).  And now, “sources” are saying that Brit suffers from multiple personality disorder:

We’re told the whole British accent thing — well, it’s more than an accent. Britney has multiple personalities, including, as people in her life call it, “the British girl.” We’re told when Spears loses the British personality, she has absolutely no idea what she did during the time she assumed that personality.

Sources say Brit has a number of other identities, where she becomes “the weepy girl, the diva, the incoherent girl,” and on and on.

Sources say Britney had become the British girl the day she didn’t show for her deposition and has no recollection of it.

Hmm.  I have a bit of a problem believing this one.  If she truly has no memory of the deposition, surely someone (lawyers, Anon, housekeeper, somebody) has mentioned it.  She checks the internet every day for photos of herself, so surely she’s seen pictures of herself at the courthouse and read articles about it.  And the problems in the brain that cause multiple personalities don’t just spring up overnight, they are years in the making, although a new personality can suddenly pop up with no prior warning.

However, I can also see the argument for this, as it definitely does seem at times as though we see a different Brit every day, sometimes even two or three different Brits in the course of a day.  However however, this could just be something as easily explained as PMS or hormonal swings or blood sugar imbalances.  After all, many of us wake up feeling and acting one way, but as the day goes on our behavior and actions change.  Speaking in a British accent isn’t necessarily indicative of a mental issue.  And it’s easy to cite “sources”…I can say that “sources” told me I had a McDonald’s burger for supper tonight, but that don’t necessarily make it so (I actually had mushroom and spinach pizza, although I have had a McDonald’s burger in the past, dun dun dunnnn).  But but again…when one pieces together the events of the past year or so in Brit’s life, one does come to realize that she definitely has a mental disorder of some kind.

I know that some will say that Britney is perfectly sane and that this is all a ruse to get people to either feel sorry for her, or for her to emotionally manipulate the masses.  However, I don’t agree with that one…while I do think that she sometimes does work the media to her advantage or to pull what she considers a joke on the public (as is now believed to be behind the pregnancy test purchase the other day), I truly do believe that she is mentally ill.  Even she should know, in her right mind, that being taken away strapped to a gurney wouldn’t be helpful to her child custody case.

Let’s just stop for a minute and say that this multiple personality thing is true.  IF it is so, then that means Anon, Osmarma bin Loopy, Cuzin Alli, her parents, her family, are all letting her go on and on without stopping her or attempting to get her help…especially those who are closest to her on a daily basis, which at this point are Anon and Smarmy, who appear to be the wall (either known or unknown to Brit) between she and her family.  If Anon is making zexytime with her, while refusing to get her help and at the same time selling his “exclusive” pics to Finalpixx, that’s reprehensible beyond belief.  I realize that having an adult committed to a mental facility is a tortuous, difficult, and arduous process, but somebody needs to attempt it before this girl self-destructs.

So, Mythbusters, let’s mark this one as plausible, but not practical.  In other words, I need more information.

And how close is she to hopping that train to Anna Nicoleville?  The Associated Press already has an obituary ready to go, a distinction usually reserved for the sick and aged.  Well, they got the sick part right.

UPDATE:  Uh, yeah, I’d say Brit definitely is not pregnant.  That, or she doesn’t have very good aim with the ketchup.  You can see the pictures here.  (warning…NSFW and rather gross)

At the top of my Christmas list in BLACK BOLD LETTERS is: MORE PICTURES OF BRITNEY SPEARS’ ASS. And just in time and right on schedule, I got my wish. I also wished for bleach and forks to gouge my eyes out after viewing said pics, but Santa wasn’t feeling all that generous I guess. I think he’s had it with the attention whores of fame.

So here you go, pics of Britney showing her best feature, which just so happens to be a far site better than her face these days. Nothing like have your face bloated from Starbucks frappes, prescription drugs, heavy doses of Nyquil and whatever other crap Brit shoves in her gaping maw. This new lifestyle has done wonders for her skin. She’s a real beauty that Britney.

Pics courtesy of Dlisted, Wenn.

To celebrate D’s return from Vegas, here is a little photo, just for you!

Here is JT, celebrating his manboobage with the folks by a Sydney pool.

He seems to have lost his box, however.

I’m going to admit that I barely know who these guys are (Brody is the son of perpetually surprised Olympian Bruce Jenner), so go ahead and laugh at me now.  Apparently, that’s Brody on the left and Frankie on the right.

I just wanted to say that perhaps the wrong guy dressed up as Batman.

I’m not even going to bother writing a post for this.  The clip speaks for itself.

Now, if you don’t mind, after watching this I have an appointment to get a shot.  I don’t know what kind, but it is the sort that should remove any sort of infectious disease I may have contracted from watching this clip.  And I also need a shower.  An hour-long, steaming hot shower, and I’m going to scrub with steel wool and Barkeeper’s Friend until my skin bleeds.  And then I’m going to rub antibacterial gel all over myself.  Yes, friends, after watching this I do feel just that dirty.

If I have any energy left, I may gouge out my eyes, because I never want to see this again.

You’ve been warned.

IMAGE REMOVED PER REQUEST - TO SEE IMAGE GO HERE

The above photo shows a very beautiful story of a mother giving her child what G*d intended for babies, breastmilk. We here at Glosslip applaud Maggie and her daughter Ramona for engaging in the ages old practice of breastfeeding. Not only is this one of the most natural acts of bonding between and mother and child, but the health benefits are endless. We only ask that Maggie show a tiny bit of decorum, as we don’t want her to taint the process with needless exhibitionism.

Trust us when we tell you, Maggie would be hard pressed to find a bigger breastfeeding advocate than us. As someone who breastfed both of her kids until they were like 15, we know the value of breastmilk and how superior it is to the poison that is formula. (Just kidding, they were 3, but formula really does suck in comparison.)

Anyway, as a card-carrying member of the nipple nazi brigade, I salute you Maggie, but do us all a favor, keep the girls covered up. It really is freaky to see someone else’s breasts while out and about doing your errands. Sheesh, ever heard of a blanket?

That said, this is perhpas the most flattering photo I have ever seen of her. Maybe she should show her breasts more often.

Thanks to the pervs as Splash.