According to a press release, MySpace star Tila Tequila is in the development process of a pilot for a series on VH1. Tequila, best known for having more MySpace friends than any other human being in the universe, has made a name for herself as being a little bit raunchy and little bit rock n’ roll. Kind of like Marie Osmond on meth.

While we haven’t been given any specifics about the premise of the show, Tequila says this about what to expect:

“This show will be unlike anything anyone has seen on television before. I want to push the envelope as far as I can.”

If pushing the envelope means wearing as little as possible and posing in positions that show as much as possible of her nethers and breasts, then expect her to push the envelope right up your posterior. I would expect nothing less from a gal who is best known for being on the “cover and/or featured in numerous magazines–such as Time, Maxim, and Rolling Stone’s ‘Hot Issue’ — for being the most ‘friended’ person on the social networking site MySpace.com.”

Tequila also released a single called “I Love U” with producer Lil’ Jon, which has only had any real success on the iTunes video chart, but is reportedly the first video to give you an STD in your eyes just from watching it. Okay, not really. But it did leave me with a burning sensation. I can’t wait for her new show, it’s gonna be totally rad!! And excruciatingly painful.

Here’s a snippet of Tila’s new single (after the jump,) “I Love U” which is reportedly a slam to ex-boyfriend Jared Leto, the girl who sings for 30 Seconds To Mars. Feast your ears, but cover your eyes so the STDs don’t getcha! NSFW or eyes.

These are what I call the days of milk and honey. 

Just look at Jared!  Look at that?  Christ, I haven’t seen anything that sexy since I was in high school and the entire science club had to strip down due to an acid spill in the lab department.  Seriously those bastards were HOT!! I mean on fire! They had lesions on their skin and third degrees burns.  It was a real mess.

So yeah, Jared Leto was doing some kind of method acting wherein he plumped himself up to play John Lennon assassin Mark Chapman in the upcoming film Chapter 27.  Just Jared has the photo pictures from a shoot for Purple magazine.  And I must say, JT’s got nothing on Jared.  If that isn’t bringing sexy back, then sexy is just a four letter word for “My eyes….it burns….you’re killing my soul.”

And as for Vince Vaughn, I am just beaten down, saddened by this state of affairs.  My main squeeze Vince looks like he just got over a case of food poisoning and was still stricken with some kind of intestinal issues.  Although, with rumors of he and Paris Hilton flirting with each other at the International Poker Convention this past weekend, it’s entirely possible that he has contracted herpes of the face.

That’s what a ten mile radius of Paris Hilton will do.  She’s like some kind of biblical plague, laying waste to all living things in her path.  We should sell her to North Korea.  Hell, better yet, just give her away.  Like a token of our love.  “Here North Korea, don’t say we never gave you anything, you ungrateful bitches.”

P.S. For those of you who think that Vince Vaughn was never hot I offer you exhibit A.