This is the best video I could find of Jennifer Aniston and Jack Black presenting the award for the Best Animated Film at last night’s 81st Oscars. Proving that we as a public are still fascinated by the Brangelina vs. Jennifer Aniston saga, the show presenters panned to Jolie during the presentation. Both tacky and totally expected (and required).

Jennifer looked nervous and tore the hell out that envelope and she did stumble a bit at the beginning of the presentation, but hey, she got up there, got through it and didn’t blow a gasket.

For Angelina’s part, she put her best fake smile on and you know she was shooting pity daggers at poor Jennifer. Both women looked gorgeous, although Jen’s hair was frizzy and Angelina wore jewelry that resembled something you’d win in a gumball machine.

Who won that showdown? Mostly a draw, although Jennifer gets props for going out there in front of her ex-husband and his mistress, merely feet away in front of the whole world. Ask Debbie Reynolds how she’d feel doing to same in front of Elizabeth Taylor and Eddie Fisher.

I know it’s a shameless case of schadenfreude for me to feel a sense of pleasure that neither Angelina or Brad won an Oscar, but for those who don’t think that Hollywood pays attention to shady behavior and refuses to reward it, think again. Why do you think Tom Cruise has never won an Oscar? Shady cults are frowned on too.

I guess the pressure of continually lying to the press and his fans got to be too much for Brad Pitt…on the heels of partner Angelina Jolie telling the world that yes, indeed, they did fall in love on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith (after spending entirely too much energy denying the obvious), he has now said that yep, it happened pretty much when we all thought it did:

Rumours swirled around Pitt and Jolie while they were filming Mr & Mrs Smith in May 2004 – seven months before he split from the former Friends star.

In the new issue of Rolling Stone magazine, Pitt reiterates Jolie’s recent confession that they fell in love while making the movie.

After being asked why the action film is his favourite film, he explained: ‘Because you know… six kids. Because I fell in love.’

Well, some might say you fell in heat, Brad, but whatever floats your little boat.

His admission comes a couple of months after Angelina Jolie totally decided to stick the knife farther into Jennifer Aniston told the NYT that she looked forward to the day she could show her kids just when she and pseudo-daddy fell in luv:

Nonetheless, she said, she looks forward to the day when she can put “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” in the DVD player for the children; “not a lot of people get to see a movie where their parents fell in love.”

So now we have confirmation from both parties involved.  Let’s recap the timeline:

• Mr. and Mrs. Smith started filming in January 2004 and continued off and on until October 2004.
• Jennifer Aniston and Brad formally separated on January 7, 2005, and she filed for divorce in March 2005.
• As of January 2004, the beginning of filming for Brad and Angelina, Jennifer and Brad were still together, although the marriage was rocky during 2004.
• Brad and Jen were still married during the filming of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and were not even separated (although I would also like to point out that separated is still married).

Now, just what is it that both Angie and Brad have said in the past about adultery and such?  Angie has said that she has never been able to watch Coming Home because her father supposedly had an affair during it:

Angelina also spoke about her Father, Jon Voight, with whom she has been estranged for quite some time. Jolie had this to say about her dad, “We don’t really have a relationship, but we’re in contact. And wish each other well. I think we’ve realized there’s been too much discussion. Him discussing me publicly. I’ve had to comment on him. I think it’s best that, if we try to have any relationship in the future, we do it quietly.”

Angelina also said she had never been able to view her father’s oscar-winning performance in Coming Home.

“Because that was when my father left my mom, and the woman who he cheated on her with is in the film,” Jolie says.

Guess that one won’t be going in the DVD player for her kids any time soon.  However, Angie again has her timeline a bit wonky, because Angelina was born in 1975, her parents separated in 1976, the movie was filmed sometime between 1976 and 1977, when this supposed affair took place, and was released in 1978…you do the math.

Oh wait, what else has she said?

Curry: You have said, “To be intimate with a married man, when my own father cheated on my mother, is not something I could forgive. I could not look at myself in the morning, if I did that.”

Jolie: Yeah, that’s right.

Curry: That says a lot.

Jolie: Yeah, well, I wouldn’t be attracted to a man who would cheat on his wife.

And Brad has flat denied any rumors that the relationship began during the movie:

There was no mistaking the onscreen chemistry, but for the first time Brad Pitt has publicly refuted long-standing rumours he cheated on his former wife Jennifer Aniston with Angelina Jolie while filming Mr and Mrs Smith.

In a new interview with US talk show host Larry King, the actor hit back at suggestions he began the high profile relationship before his marriage was over.

He insisted to the presenter: “Well, that [romance] came after Larry. That came after.”

Brad first met his now partner on the set of action film in 2004, and within months, his marriage to America’s Sweetheart Jennifer was over.

Whew.  Now…what does Jennifer have to say about all this?  Not much…which is a refreshing change from Angelina’s babbling on and on about how magical she and Brad’s relationship is.  Jennifer has pretty much taken the high road, but recently she’s made a comment or two about how things stand:

In a barbed remark, the actress joked that she goes on holiday with Jolie and Brad Pitt on weekends.

‘The funny thing is that people don’t realise we all go away to the Hamptons on the weekends,’ she told the magazine [GQ].

‘No. But can you imagine? That’d be hysterical,’ and making a reference to the couple’s children, she added: ‘I’ve got Zahara on my hip, and Knox….’

She also spoke about how she is still in touch with Pitt.

‘We don’t not talk,’ she said. ‘When there’s something to congratulate or celebrate, there’s always an exchange. But there’s no charge on it.’

And asked if she talks to Jolie, she retorted: ‘No, Nuh-uh.’

I’m sure that people are going to make me out to be a Jennifer fan, and trust me…I’m not.  I find her cloying and puerile, I think she has horrible taste in men, and I don’t think she’s all that great an actress.  But she has been remarkably mature in this whole fiasco…more mature than child-hoarding Angelina, with her quicksand-like mommy parts, and Bradley, who seems to suffer from a form of environmental dependence syndrome…in this case we might call it relationship dependence syndrome.  He mirrors the strongest personality in his life, most of the time whichever woman is in his bed, which in this case is Angelina.  He likes what she likes because she’s the dominant personality.  Anybody remember Gwyneth Paltrow?

This might be a controversial statement to make, but I’d be much less likely to rag on Brad and Angie if they’d just come out with the truth to start with.  I’m an adult, and while I don’t agree with it I realize things happen.  But they could have waited until there was an official divorce before starting to move ahead with a relationship, instead of pursuing it while Brad and Jen were still married (and yes…separated is still married).  They probably wouldn’t have stayed married even if Angelina hadn’t come a-calling, but at this point we’ll never know for sure.  Serial homewrecker Angelina could have held back until the papers were signed, instead of actively pursuing Brad during the movie.  Brad could have realized he was being led around by the, uh, emotions, and taken a few steps back.  But no…typical of those who don’t realize, or care, what they do to others, they wanted what they wanted when they wanted it and how they wanted it and if you don’t like it then two fingers up to you.  That, I believe, is the basis of the animosity towards Brad and Angelina.

Aren’t we all ready to move on from the Brad, Angelina, Jennifer saga? Clearly Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie, and Jennifer Aniston are not. So here we go again.

As we reported two days ago, Jennifer Aniston is quoted in the December issue of Vogue as saying she thought her ex-husband’s current girlfriend and mother to his six kids, Angelina Jolie, was “really uncool” for revealing she and Pitt fell in love while the were filming Mr. and Mrs. Smith. To recap, Mr. and Mrs. Smith was filmed in 2004 while Pitt was still married to Aniston.

Up until now, Aniston has maintained a pretty low profile about the split and has had virtually nothing to say about Jolie, despite the obvious. And the obvious in this case is Brad Pitt cheated on his wife with Angelina Jolie. BAM! BOOM! I said it and I am NOT taking it back. We can all (that means you Brangeloonies) stop pretending it didn’t happen, or that it wasn’t wrong or that Angelina Jolie’s womb isn’t a magical vortex of the holy trinity.

So, for the last three years, Jennifer Aniston has had to overcome a divorce, move on with her life and keep her head high, despite the endless and unrelenting adoration heaped on her ex-husband and his paramour. Has she done a good job? Yeah, I think so. Sure her movies have sucked bigtime, but it’s not like she became a raging drunk or had sex with Sasquatch or anything. She’s done what she always does, dates jerks, looks good in a bikini. And more than anything, she’s kept her mouth shut. WAY more than I would have. Honestly, I would have walked straight up to Angelina, punched her in the throat, kicked her in the ass, and likely, hurled some less than savory utterances. But hey, I like to keep it classy.

Why did Jennifer break her dignified silence?

Because Angelina Jolie just had to keep rubbing Aniston’s nose in her saintly doo-doo. “Oh look at me Jennifer, I can breed like an unspayed cat, steal your hubby, make great films and command a rabid loyal following of mentally disturbed loons, top that Rachel.”

Well, I guess Aniston had enough, and said eff that and made one brief comment about what a tasteless wretch Jolie is, and Brad now has to come to Jolie’s defense, because wherever you lay your DNA is home.

Here’s the low-down:

One would have to assume Pitt’s irritation was due to Aniston’s comment that it was ”uncool” Jolie came clean about falling in love with her married co-star in ”Mr. and Mrs. Smith.”

But still, it was Pitt who cheated on Aniston — leading to a horribly public split that was clearly humiliating for the popular actress.

Another source, close to Jolie, said Wednesday that Pitt and Jolie were ”totally thrown” by Aniston’s Vogue interview, thinking she had already ”moved on … and wouldn’t want to reopen this old wound.”

At any rate, Aniston’s spokesman is not commenting on the alleged Pitt call to Aniston, simply e-mailing, ”That’s personal information. … That really is no one’s business.”

Yep, that’s right. It’s no one’s business that Jennifer Aniston finally put Angelina Jolie in her place. Not sure about you, but I’d like to close this chapter and move on. Angie, next move is yours. I’ll offer you the same advice I give my kids when they get out of hand: zip it, lock it, put it in your pocket.

Angelina Jolie recently sat for an interview in which she possibly revealed more than she wanted to…or maybe not, since I get the feeling that nothing she does or say that concerns the press is by accident.  For one, she says she plans on staying home with her brood of kids for a full year (yes, a full year!) after she gets done with her next two movies (the movie Edwin A. Salt, after Tom Cruise ”passed” on it, and the sequel to Kung Fu Panda):

She has taken all of 2008 off from filmmaking and has only one movie lined up — the spy thriller “Edwin A. Salt,” which will begin production in February and which, in an indication of her box office clout in action films, was reconceived for her after Tom Cruise dropped out.

In addition she will reprise her vocal performance as Tigress in the sequel to this summer’s “Kung Fu Panda” — the only one of her roughly three dozen movies that any of her children have seen. “It’s a big hit in the house,” she said. “Jack Black is like De Niro to the kids.”

After that, she said, she’ll stay home for another full year, and she expects acting to play a diminishing role in her life as time goes by.

Wherever home is, that is.  Since they are constantly jetting off to here or there or somewheres else, who knows where home is?  Kids need stability and continuity, but not in Angelina’s world.

Also, she worries about what effect her past indiscretions might have on her kids, particularly Maddox, who is now old enough to navigate teh interwebs:

She worries about the day that Maddox, who is now old enough to use the Internet, will “look up my name and see some kind of sexy pictures or read a story about himself that isn’t true. There’s a lot we’re going to have to explain to them about how public their family is.”

I know we all have things in our past that we’d rather die than have our kids find out about, but come on…she has lived most of her adult life in the spotlight.  Maybe she should have thought about stuff like this ten years ago, huh?

Or, possibly she should have thought about that as soon as about four years ago.  Speaking of past indiscretions, here’s the real shocker.  In case you were wondering just when Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt fell in love, here’s your answer:

Nonetheless, she said, she looks forward to the day when she can put “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” in the DVD player for the children; “not a lot of people get to see a movie where their parents fell in love.”

O rly.  Imagine that.  Mr. and Mrs. Smith started filming in January 2004.  Jennifer Aniston and Brad formally separated on January 7, 2005, and she filed for divorce in March 2005.  As of January 2004, the beginning of filming for Brad and Angelina, Jennifer and Brad were still together, although by all reports the marriage was rocky during 2004.  Still, the fact remains that Brad and Jen were still married during the filming of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and were not even separated (although I would also like to point out that separated is still married).

And now I’d like to revisit a couple little things Angelina and Brad have mewled in the past about her father, cheating, just what sort of man Anges is attracted to, and just when Brad says the whole thing started.  For one, Angelina has said that she has never been able to watch a little movie called Coming Home, because that was when her father supposedly cheated on her mother:

Angelina also spoke about her Father, Jon Voight, with whom she has been estranged for quite some time. Jolie had this to say about her dad, “We don’t really have a relationship, but we’re in contact. And wish each other well. I think we’ve realized there’s been too much discussion. Him discussing me publicly. I’ve had to comment on him. I think it’s best that, if we try to have any relationship in the future, we do it quietly.”

Angelina also said she had never been able to view her father’s oscar-winning performance in Coming Home.

“Because that was when my father left my mom, and the woman who he cheated on her with is in the film,” Jolie says.

That’s been disputed (Angelina was born in 1975, her parents separated in 1976, the movie was filmed sometime between 1976 and 1977, when this supposed affair took place, and was released in 1978…you do the math), but it doesn’t stop Anges from believing it.

Brad, in the past, has had this to say about when the relationship with Anges started:

There was no mistaking the onscreen chemistry, but for the first time Brad Pitt has publicly refuted long-standing rumours he cheated on his former wife Jennifer Aniston with Angelina Jolie while filming Mr and Mrs Smith.

In a new interview with US talk show host Larry King, the actor hit back at suggestions he began the high profile relationship before his marriage was over.

He insisted to the presenter: “Well, that [romance] came after Larry. That came after.”

Brad first met his now partner on the set of action film in 2004, and within months, his marriage to America’s Sweetheart Jennifer was over.

And she had this to say about chasing after a married man:

Curry: You have said, “To be intimate with a married man, when my own father cheated on my mother, is not something I could forgive. I could not look at myself in the morning, if I did that.”

Jolie: Yeah, that’s right.

Curry: That says a lot.

Jolie: Yeah, well, I wouldn’t be attracted to a man who would cheat on his wife.

O rly.

I think my work here is done.

Hey Jen, did I ever tell you your body is a wonderland?

Ya know, sometimes you think you know a person, and then they go and do something all kinds of DUMB and you have to scratch your head and say “Wow, who the *bleep* are you?”

And then there’s Jennifer Aniston, the tabloid’s own favorite punching bag. Remember when Jen was America’s sweetheart? She was everyone’s favorite “Friend”, her hairstyles inspired their own sub-culture and she even married the hottest eligible bachelor on the planet. Good times, good times.

Well, for Jen anyway.

Nowadays though, Ms. Aniston is still single, hated by millions of Brangeloonies who for some reason hate her simply for having the temerity to be married to Brad Pitt first, and just can’t seem to get her life quite back on track. I sometimes wonder if she is punishing herself for something.

Media outlets are reporting Jennifer and ex-boyfriend (the same ex who publicly announced HE dumped HER) John Mayer are reportedly spending time together, including some canoodling and “lingering kisses” during a flight from NYC to LA, after they’d had some private dates during her visit to NYC.

Here’s more detail from Star Magazine:

After splitting up two months ago, Jennifer Aniston flew to New York to rekindle her romance with John Mayer.

She’s been trying to mend her hurting heart with a string of hotties since they split, but now Jen has patched things up with John.

After sending a barrage of romantic email, John’s persistence has paid off. The actress jetted to New York, where the pair fanned the flames of their renewed romance with intimate sushi dinners at John’s Soho apartment and a very cozy Italian feast at Manhattan’s chic Il Mulino restaurant.

“At first Jennifer was afraid to respond to John’s messages because she was afraid he’d break her heart again,” says an insider. “The emails were especially poetic — like love songs. He said he’d never stop loving her and he’s been very, very persuasive.”

Jen had already scheduled a trip to the Big Apple to film a promotional video for her new perfume, Star has learned exclusively. But business quickly turned to pleasure.

“She could have been in and out of New York City but she lingered on to be with John,” the insider continues.

And yesterday, the couple flew to Los Angeles together. They were openly affectionate, touching each other and even sharing a kiss.

Why would Jennifer hook up with John Mayer, especially after he unloaded this gem after their last break-up?

“I ended a relationship because there was no lying. I ended a relationship to be alone because I don’t want to waste somebody’s time if something’s not right. I don’t waste people’s time. I don’t do the taper. I guarantee you there’s 20 percent of the people on the street right now who are in a relationship they wish they could get out of but they don’t know how. And I’m going to be honest on the way in to my relationships and I’m going to be honest on the way out of my relationships.”

“I’m sorry that the story’s not interesting. But it’s about time that somebody stands up for that girl and I think she’s great.”

Yep, that John Mayer, he’s one chivalrous dude. Sticking up for your ex-gf by telling the world YOU dumped HER is like, the greatest act of gallantry since Sir Lancelot saved Guinevere. Yeah, it’s just like that.

Anyway, this whole story, if true, smells funny. Funny, as in, Jen’s PR people trying to distract us from the glorious Angelina Jolie breastfeeding on the cover of W Magazine. The W article is supposed to be a private look at Angie, Brad and brood, with Brad behind the camera taking “candid” photos of his family. Truly amazing photos, and the only thing missing is Angie’s ethereal wings and golden halo. Seriously, if I didn’t write about celebs, this whole scenario would be vomitus, but alas, I must do my duty.

Let’s just say John did worm his way back into Jen’s good graces, and this isn’t some kind of publicity stunt on both of their parts (she does have a film to promote, and this is Hollywood), then WTF is Jennifer Aniston thinking? Of all the cads in LaLa land for Jennifer to fall victim to, does she really need a second dose of what John “All Your Bodies Are My Wonderland” Mayer has to offer?

Are there high doses of lead in the L.A. water supply? Sheesh, some people fail more epically than others.

Well, not really, but close.  On October 24th, the planets and stars all converge and will orchestrate the simultaneous release of three movies.  First, the Angelina/Jennifer battle:

Jolie’s drama Changeling and Aniston’s romantic comedy He’s Just Not That Into You are both scheduled to be released October 24, Usmagazine.com has confirmed. (Changeling will be out in limited release before going wide October 31.)

Jolie — who earns $12-15 million a movie — is already generating Oscar buzz for her role a mother whose son is kidnapped (”her performance hits home,” a Variety critic wrote).

Meanwhile, Aniston — who rakes in an estimated $8 million a movie — plays Ben Affleck’s love interest in the adaptation of the best-selling relationship book.

And then we’ll let Zac Efron into the ring, because his movie High School Musical 3: Senior Year will be released on the same day.  I know, I know…cover your ears now!

So who will come out on top?  Angelina does appeal to certain people, but she’s much less successful branching out from her bad girl or vixen roles, while it seems more people relate to Jennifer as the girl-next-door.  However, I think Zac might just be the sleeper here, because you can never underestimate the spending power of a tweenage girl, ten of her bff’s, and their daddies credit cards.

Me?  I won’t be watching any of those movies.  I’m a movie exec’s worst nightmare…none of them appeal to me. 

Whoever was in charge of scheduling this little party might find him/herself out of a job on Sunday, if the Battle Of The Century erupts on Saturday.  Yes, Hollywood’s weirdest triangle–Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, and Jennifer Aniston–is fixing to converge in one spot for one night only:

Angie and baby-daddy Brad Pitt are on the host committee of The Night Before—a charity event held the evening prior to the Academy Awards—but Brad’s ex-wife, Aniston, is also a hostesses with the mostest. If all parties show it cold be the climax to a colossal confrontation that began three years ago when Brad left Jen in 2005 claiming it had nothing to do with Mr. & Mrs. Smith co-star, spent the next several months denying he had any relationship with his Mr. & Mrs. Smith co-star, then proceeded to publicly, kiss, cuddle and raise half the world’s children with his Mr. & Mrs. Smith co-star. The two women have yet to meet since—yummy!

Well, well, well.  I wonder just how many Rolaids ol’ Brad has consumed since learning of this little date on his calendar.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not on Team Aniston, Team Jolie, or Team Pitt.  I think they’re all overpaid, narcissistic, self-important blowhards.  Between Angelina’s compulsion to adopt more children than most people give birth to in a lifetime (and apparently producing more of her own biological ones as well) and her conviction that she’s the only one who can save the world, Brad’s wishy-washy approach to life, marriage, his ex-wife, and his commitment vows, and Jennifer’s inability to move on already from a two-timing, lying, hit-with-the-ugly-stick loser (and I’m not talking about Vince Vaughn), they could all disappear into the background and I wouldn’t cry.

But wait…the Battle Of The Century may not happen after all:

The annual pre-Oscars party is being held this year on Saturday, February 23, at the pool at the Beverly Hills Hotel, and three of the event’s hosts are none other than Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston. The event planner tells PageSix.com that all of the hosts have committed to hosting the fundraiser. However, don’t get too excited for the girls to finally throw down over Brad because Jen’s rep tells PageSix.com that she might not be able to attend.

Although her rep confirmed that Jen, who is currently filming Traveling in Vancouver, is on the host committee, the former Friends star “doesn’t know if her production schedule will allow her to attend.” Looks like we will have to wait and see what Jen — sorry, what her production schedule — decides.

Oh, come on, Jennifer.  You’ve played the “poor jilted woman” long enough.  You stay in a mindset, you start to believe it.  Stop wasting your time pining after a man who thought so little of your relationship that he succumbed to She Who Must Not Be Named’s magic vajayjay.  And if you really want a child bad enough, there are many children waiting to be adopted who would love a good home.

And Brad/Angelina?  Yeah.  Stop with the kids, already.  You have enough now.  Whatever Angelina is attempting to bandaid, she needs to work out some other way besides amassing a brood of children.  Oh, and tell Angelina she needs to stay home and actually take care of those kids.  But who am I?  I believe that if a celeb has a kid, they need to drop out of sight for eighteen years.

Not that it would be such a bad thing in this case.

As has now been plastered all over the blogosphere, Mrs. Jane Pitt (Brad’s mom) paid a visit to her ex-daughter-in-law Jennifer Aniston. The two had a cozy two-hour visit this past Sunday and are said to still speak on the phone frequently and visit with each other when they can.

While that in itself isn’t terribly strange, it certainly can’t make Brad’s current girlfriend and mother of his biological daughter, Angelina Jolie very happy.

What’s strange about this continued closeness is the lack of grandchildren to keep Jennifer and Jane tied to one another. Clearly, their bond is one that is genuine and unmarred by Jennifer and Brad’s divorce. It’s also not a stretch to assume that The Pitts feel a sense of betrayal towards Brad and Angelina for how Jennifer was treated. You can love your children and still find their behavior disappointing and unacceptable.

While we can’t know for sure how Jane Pitt justifies her relationship with her former daughter-in-law to the mother of her grandchild(ren), I have ZERO doubt that there is tension between Jane and Angelina – and definitely some unstated animosity.

I would also be willing to bet that Jane and Jennifer remain close not only because they love each other, but also to torture Angie and Brad, which in my cosmic world of karmic justice is completely fair and absolutely acceptable.

You can’t have your cake and eat it too Angie.

Photos and scoopage: Celebrity Babylon