Did you know that if you pull your hair back super tight that it stretches the skin around the eyes and forehead…sort of like Botox without the needles and numb muscles?  Oldest trick in the book.  Especially handy for nursing mothers who don’t want foreign substances injected into their face.

Somewhere, a drag queen is crying because J-Lo beat him up and stole his makeup kit.

I’m going to admit right off that these are very cute babies.  Max looks like his daddy and Emme looks like her mommy.  But then…most babies are cute, even without a six million dollar price tag.

Yes, the new People magazine is out, and guess who is on the cover:

This week’s issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday, features 12 pages of new photos of the pop star with husband Marc Anthony and their 1-month-old bundles of joy inside their Long Island home and nursery.

The happy new parents spoke candidly to PEOPLE about the pregnancy, addressing everything from Jennifer’s weight gain to rumors of infertility. For all the details, pick up the new issue, on newsstands Friday.

And guess what?  The babies…look like everyday, run-of-the-mill, normal babies.  You can see airbrushed photos of Jennifer in the $120,000 nursery, of Jennifer holding the babies, and of Jennifer gazing lovingly at Marc as he holds the babies.  People magazine has been counting down to this on their website with the expectancy of a lunar launch.  I guess they need to get their money’s worth out of this little deal.

But here’s what I propose:  I say that we don’t buy the magazine.  $6M for airbrushed photographs of J-Lo, in which the twins just so happen to appear, is ridiculous.  Jennifer and Marc do not need this money.  They have more money than they know what to do with, and that is one thing that keeps them distant from reality.  As I said yesterday, I have no problem with celebs splurging on whatever they like…when they then turn around and give back to others less fortunate.  But by all accounts this $6M is going straight into their bank account, instead of being used, for example, to help those mothers and children who are less fortunate.

People could have offered to donate that money to a reputable charity in J-Lo and Marc’s name, instead of giving it to greedy celebrities who will undoubtedly use it to purchase yet more gilded trim for the nursery.  This is simply a publicity stunt for Jennifer…it’s to stroke the egos of the parents, it has nothing to do with the babies.  I don’t doubt that she loves her babies very much, but let’s not fool ourselves into thinking that she wanted to share this moment with fifty million of her closest friends.

So, sorry…you do what you want, but I won’t be spending one red cent to buy a People magazine.  I don’t even really want to link to them in this story, but I guess I have to.  Regardless, they are cute, and I hope they live long and healthy lives.

If this photo is any indication, poor Marc Anthony is taking on the brunt of the baby-tending duties:

Jennifer, 38, was smiling and radiant and appeared to have lost most of her baby weight already while 39-year-old Marc, who became a dad for the fourth and fifth time with the twins, appeared a little tired and run down.

But his rumpled looks cannot have been helped by the late nights, and the demands required with raising twins.

New father Marc Anthony is so hands-on with the babies, that the star and her staff have nicknamed him the “Burp Whisperer.”

Singer Marc is so smitten with newborns Max and Emme, he has apparently been volunteering to change their nappies and tend to them day and night.

Marc told a US newspaper: “I’m so excited. I’m so hands-on with them that the household developed a nickname for me. They call me the Burp Whisperer.”

Poor guy.  Let the man take a nap now and then!

Not so sure about that comment that J-Lo has lost her baby weight, though.  No way she’s lost that much weight in such a short time.  She looks fine, but let’s not get too carried away…that leg looks kind of beefy!

Now, I’m not picking on her, because she looks good, I’m just saying that it’s a bit ludicrous to have such pressure to return to pre-pregnancy form so soon after delivery.  Stars get too worked up about losing their baby weight as soon as the kid(s) pop out.  Relax, enjoy your new babies, and don’t take everything so seriously.

According to People, Jennifer Lopez has registered at baby boutique Petit Tresor, and she has a wish list of things for her little bebés gemelos as long as her jewel-encrusted, impeccably manicured arm:

Following in the footsteps of Nicole Richie and Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Lopez called upon the experts at Hollywood favorite baby boutique Petit Tresor. The new mom opened a lengthy registry and had owners Nina and Sam help her design fabulous nurseries for the arrival of her twins! So what’s in store for the twins? J.Lo will keep her new baby boy wrapped in a cashmere cardigan, hat and bootie pants from Baby Cz, $279 and, of course, a matching pink set, $279, for the new fashionista of the family. The two newest members of the Anthony-Lopez clan will also have a set of Plain Mary’s Hunk and Babe onesies, $169. For the nursery, the twins will dream away in Chelsea Sleigh cribs, $1390 each while Mom and Dad relax in Glam Gliders $1,420 each. And when they need changing, the twins will have a Clara changing table, $1780. And why give up gorgeous handbags just because diapers are involved? Check out Jennifer’s Italian leather and snake skin trim Mia Bossi diaper bag, $1250.

[for the record, I didn’t find a Mia Bossi leather diaper bag at the site, but I did find this Italian leather and snakeskin trim bag, $1250]

Um…HELLO?  You have got to be kidding me.  Cashmere sweaters, $170 onesies, $1400 baby cribs, leather and snakeskin diaper bags?  You can get onesies at Wal-Mart, five in a pack for nine bucks.  At Target, you can get a really pretty sleigh bed for less than $400, and that’s one of the most expensive ones offered there.  And when I left the hospital, they gave me a free diaper bag, and they even filled it with goodies.  Granted, it wasn’t Italian leather, but it looked kind of like fabric and it cleaned up really easily when the poopy diapers leaked.

And that’s one of my points.  These. Are. BABIES.  What do babies do?  They eat, sleep, cry, poop, pee, spit up, and generally lay around like lumps while making as large a mess as possible from such a tiny little creature.  They can go through several outfits a day when they’re really little, what with spit up and runny yellow diapers, and it gets worse when they get to be toddlers and start feeding themselves (or wanting to, anyway) and running around the house finding all sorts of things to get into.  What is the point of dressing the tots in $300 outfits when they are going to puke all over them?  It sounds to me like it’s the parents showing off the size of their egos.  After all, stuff like that just plays to the egos of the parents…the baby could care less if it is wearing a onesie from a ritzy boutique or one from Wal-Mart.

And here’s another point.  If Jennifer’s friends really wanted to be so “helpful”, then they should save their money and definitely NOT buy Jennifer and Marc anything.  After all, these two have enough money to go buy their own baby clothes and furnishings (maybe they could use some of that $6M they’re getting from whoring out their kids to People).  It’s a waste and an abomination.

I say, instead of spending $300 on a cashmere set, their friends should take that same $300 (or any other amount they’d spend on overpriced baby bling gifts for Jennifer and Marc the babies) and donate it to a shelter for abused and battered women and children, or to a children’s charity, or to a home for abandoned infants and children.  It would go to much better use than giving it to a greedy, narcissistic, egotistical, out-of-touch-with-reality diva.

And that goes for all the other greedy celebutard parents as well.

It seems that Jennifer Lopez said goodbye to stretch marks and hello to peach-pit tummy (any woman who has given birth knows what I’m talking about); she and hubby Marc Anthony welcomed a boy and a girl early Friday morning:

The babies were born early Friday in Long Island, N.Y. The girl was born at 12:12 a.m. and weighed 5 lbs. 7 oz., and the boy followed at 12:23 a.m., weighing 6 lbs.

“Jennifer and Marc are delighted, thrilled and over the moon,” Lopez’s manager Simon Fields tells PEOPLE exclusively.

They’re the first children for Lopez, 38, and the fourth and fifth for Anthony, 39. The couple celebrated the impending births with a baby shower in New York on Jan. 19. “They were just beaming the entire time,” said one partygoer.

It would seem the pregnancy is confirmed. 

Congratulations to the proud parents!  Now, why not scrap that $6M photo deal that just makes you look like greedy moneygrubbers, eager to pimp out those little babies to the highest bidder?  Or at least donate it to a worthy children’s charity on the block?

Or at least the photographic representations of them.

News today is that JLo has finally checked into that suite at North Shore University Hospital (you know, the suite specially outfitted for her, with a brown leather couch and furnishings untouched by the blood or amniotic fluid of the little people otherwise known as the “non-famous”) to deliver her babies, widely reported to be twins, and it seems that staffers on that floor are all in a tizzy because, well, it’s JLo, and apparently she used to be somebody.

“Sources” also say that she’s sold the first public photos of the little tykes for $6M, to be split between People and OK!, who will distribute the pics in their international magazines.  And finally, the babes will snooze in style in nurseries which cost over $120K to outfit in high style, including chandeliers and 18-karat trim.  In three homes, nonetheless.

Okay, I gotta stop.  Huh?  First of all, what makes Jennifer Lopez so special that she gets a special, unsullied room and nobody else is allowed to touch it?  It’s a hospital, I’m sure they clean the delivery rooms extremely well between birthings.  Had the room been used even the day before, I’m sure it would have been sanitized in time for Jennifer’s arrival.  Yeah, the argument could be made that a room needed to be kept ready for whenever she went into labor, and I’m sure there needs to be things taken into account such as security measures and privacy.  But still…she couldn’t use the room as it was, it had to be specially outfitted just for her?  She’ll be in the standard issue hospital bed anyway, I don’t see what difference it makes.  And I’m sure they have more than one room which could have accommodated her.  What makes JLo and her babies so much more special than any other mother who comes in to give birth?  And will she change her mind and have a silent birth after all?

And all that money, for nurseries for babies who’s eyes can’t even focus properly?  What is that about?  I’m not against having nice things, but why not donate some of that money to mothers who NEED it?  Last time I checked, babies eat, sleep, and poop…sometimes all at once, many times not in a neat and orderly fashion.  What does any baby need with nurseries that have gold trim and chandeliers?  Sounds more to me like indulging the egos of the parents.  I wish I could be a little fly on the wall (yeah, like she’d allow a fly) when those babies spit up or get runny diapers all over their expensive sheets.  I’m not trying to be mean, just pointing out that babies will poop on anything, from $116 organic blankets to $5 polarfleece from Wal-Mart.  And no matter the price of the materials, baby poopy stains, stinks, and generally makes a mess.

And lastly…$6M for baby photos?  Of what?  Little wrinkly babies?  Let’s face it, newborns pretty much look the same.  They may have different color skin depending on their ethnicity, but they’re usually wrinkled little monkey-looking things.  Hey, I’ve had two babies, and while I thought they were the most beautiful babies in the world (and they were…I dare JLo to produce babies as beautiful as mine), the truth is that they were also little wrinkly, red-faced, slobbering lumps.  You know why?  Because they’re BABIES.  This practice of doling out small fortunes to celebs who are already full of themselves just for some baby snapshots is the most greedy, ridiculous thing I’ve seen yet (and I’m not just talking about JLo and Marc here).

Can’t Marc Anthony do something with her?  He’s never said anything (he’s probably too scared) but I’d hope he’d be embarrassed by his wife’s ostentationess.

But, having said all that, I do wish her a good delivery and healthy babies.  I just wish she’d grow up and live in the real world, not Jenniferland.

I’ll personally give $100 of my hard-earned money (and to me, that’s a huge amount) to the charity of choice of any celebrity who will come out of their house to greet the assembled paparazzi throng (behind a gate or fence, of course), ask if they’d like to see the baby, and then bring out Junior for photos.  They can stand at a reasonable distance for a few minutes (again, probably behind a gate or fence…gotta have a barrier between the paps and the baby), and then go inside.  Or they can snap a picture of Little Missy, print off a bunch of snapshot-sized prints, and go hand them to the press outside.  No big money, no huge fanfare, and it wouldn’t look like they’re greedily selling their kids for cash that they don’t need anyway.

I’ll start holding my breath now.

Leave it to La Vida Lopez to look glam and fashionable during the late stages of pregnancy with twins.  Jennifer says that she doesn’t dress down, even at home:

And while most moms-to-be stick to comfort wear, the always-glam Jennifer says sweats are not an option. “People make fun of me because when I do have them over to my house I do have a dress on,” she laughs. “I don’t like the way the sweats look with the extra weight. I like to feel good about myself even at home.” And while the singer won’t be able to wear any of Marchesa’s red carpet confections anytime soon, she does have her eye on a few special looks. But, Lopez admits “Right now the best thing I can do for myself, for my body is to keep resting which is not easy for me. I like keeping busy and it is very hard because if they say ‘be off your feet for four hours a day’, I’m like ‘oh, God!’ It’s hard.”

Well, okay…I can understand wanting to feel good about oneself, and if she doesn’t want to wear sweats or something like that in the privacy of her own home, then fine and dandy.  I mean, that’s not my personal cup of tea, because to my way of thinking any excuse for sweats is a good one, but whatever she is into, you know?

But I do want to take issue with those shoes.  Lately, pretty much every pregnant woman I’ve seen in fashion shots or pap photos has been wearing ridiculously high heels while in the late stages of pregnancy, and I personally think it’s ridiculous.  Stilettos and high heels throw off your balance, put undue pressure on parts of your feet that aren’t made for it, contort the feet into positions they weren’t made for, put a strain on your legs and back, and cause an unnatural walk.  Throw in the back-straining effects of pregnancy (in J-Lo’s case, with twins), the fact that being pregnant throws off your center of balance, add the very real threat of falling and possibly hurting oneself and the unborn child, and I think the case can be made that high heels and pregnancy do not go together.

Don’t get me wrong.  I like that pregnant women don’t walk around any more looking like tents in unfashionable clothes emblazoned with teddy bears and accompanied by stretch pants.  Being pregnant doesn’t mean your sense of style and wanting to feel womanly, even sexy, goes out the window.  But there’s a fine line between looking fashionable and being safe, and I’m sorry…stilettos and high heels are not safe for pregnant women.  Plus, if the doctor is telling her to be off her feet for four hours a day, he’s got a reason…I don’t think high heels are part of what the doctor ordered.  Don’t put fashion before safety, Jennifer.  Healthy babies are more important than looking fashionable.  She already looks amazing, she doesn’t need dangerous shoes.

Jennifer Lopez waited until the last show of her US tour to admit to us her addiction to pepperoni pizzas with extra anchovies, washed down with chocolate milkshakes and Twix candy bars.  Hence, her recent weight gain.  She says she’s “going away for a while” to detox and run on a treadmill wearing a Hefty bag.

No…she must have read my last post (I’m taking full credit), because she finally admitted to the worst-kept secret in the biz called show, that she and husband Marc Anthony are expecting:

“Marc and I are expecting a baby!” the glowing singer announced to a shocked audience.

Just as surprised? Husband (and fellow tour headliner) Marc Anthony, who shrugged his shoulders, caressed his wife’s stomach, then leaned over and kissed her belly. “I didn’t know she was going to talk,” he told the crowd.

“The whole arena went insane,” says one concert-goer. “It was awesome!”

Lopez thanked the audience for the applause and said, “We are happy, too.” She then turned sideways to reveal her profile and show off her very noticeable bump. She also playfully stuck out her tongue. […]

“This is a special time in our lives,” Lopez said from the Florida stage. “And we waited until the last show to tell you.”

Um…HELLO?  But I’m glad she at least finally admitted it.  I don’t get the reason for all the secrecy anyway.  I understand one’s expectations of privacy, and the desire to wait until everything is hopefully okay with the pregnancy…but when you’re in the public eye you really can’t hide something like this, not for long anyway.  Hopefully now that the tour is over, she will stay home and rest.  I said at the beginning that this tour wasn’t the thing to go on when one is pregnant anyway….maybe now things will slow way down.  Then she can sit at home and be a diva to Marc while lining up exclusive photo spreads with the new addition.

Best wishes to the happy couple, and we wish her a safe pregnancy and a happy, healthy baby…or two!

Jenny is the block!

She needs to just admit that she’s pregnant already.  Such behavior isn’t endearing her to anyone.  To continually get divaish if someone even mentions it and to forbid even breathing the word “pregnant” around her…well, it all speaks for itself.

I wonder if she’ll admit it once the baby (or babies) is born?  Or will she walk around with it in her arms going, “Baby?  What baby?  I don’t know what you’re talking about.  I’m fine, thank you.”

And who dresses like this to go to a baseball game?  Seriously!

Maybe she’s in charge of groundskeeping for the baseball diamond if it rains.

Ever wonder what your favorite celebrity wears for Halloween?  Wonder no more, we here at GlossLip have scoured the world searching for your favorite star trick-or-treater!  See who gets the good candy after the jump!

But wait, there’s more…