For every light side, there is a dark side.  Just after writing about Nicole Kidman possibly deciding to give away her baby photos for free (like every other mom), I read that actress Jessica Alba gave in and decided to whore out her little brown baby for the Almighty Dollar after all:

TMZ has learned Honor Marie Warren, celebuspawn of Jessica Alba and hubby Cash Warren, is now $1.5 million richer thanks to OK! Magazine.

We’re hearing the two-part deal consists of pictures of the baby now, and one other “event” — Christmas, Thanksgiving, vacation, etc. Our spy said Jessica initially turned down the offers of several weekly mags, not wanting to sell, but eventually caved.

Isn’t that lovely.  It just warms the heart to see people getting rich(er) off the photographs of their own flesh and blood.  I’m sure Jessica and Cash are so hurting for money that they had no choice but to pimp out their kid.

Seriously.  How many times do I have to say it?  It’s a baby, just like any other baby in the world.  Some babies may be plump and some not so much, some may have lighter skin and some have darker skin, some may have hair and some may be bald, but for the most part babies look alike.  Little wrinkly people.  Babies are cute, but what makes celeb babies more cute than anyone else’s?  Or is it just the public’s continual fascination with all things celebrity?

Jessica had better put that money in the bank.  Once she’s no longer the hot thing (you know, when the body begins to succumb to age), she’ll no longer have a career.

The much-maligned tabloid darling Jessica Alba, 27, finally gave birth to her first child this week, daughter Honor Marie Warren, with long-time boyfriend Cash Warren, 31, whom she met on the set of Fantastic Four in 2004. The couple married a couple of weeks ago, just in the nick of time I’d say. Congrats on both fronts!

Jessica claimed recently they wouldn’t be selling pictures of their baby to the major print tabs, but it seems that statement was less than true. MSNBC’s the Scoop, has the scoop:

Jessica Alba, who gave birth to a girl on June 7, doesn’t seem to have plans to sell photos of little Honor Marie Warren — at least not yet. “I haven’t really gotten any (offers) — not that I’m aware of. You have to understand, everything that is written is kind of bull,” Alba told the New York Daily News.

Several magazine insiders say Alba’s claim about the offers is not true. In fact, the insiders say offers were made to Alba, that she was kept in the loop and that some talks are still in progress.

The insiders cite Us Weekly, OK! magazine and People as the weeklies most likely to score a deal. “She is part of the talks, I don’t know why she’d go out and say that,” said one insider.

Alba’s rep, Brad Cafarelli, clears up some of the confusion, saying, “While several publications have expressed interest in photos, Jessica and Cash have not entertained any specific offers, nor was it something they wished to commit to before the baby was born.”

I love Hollywood. Seriously, if it weren’t full of so many phonies, liars, cheats and sneaks my job would be a drag! Luckily, there’s something about being a detached-from-reality famewhore that makes people’s brains sort of sluggish.

I loved that last paragraph quoting Alba’s flack and how he “clears up some of the confusion,” ‘cuz you know, we’re all really stupid. Personally, if you want to sell pics of your “brown” baby to the tabs, just go for it you miserable grouch (”brown” is the term Jessica used, when she stated she hoped she’d have a brown baby and not some “white” baby, most likely because she has a horrible reputation for being less than proud of her latin heritage). It’s her kid, if she wants to profit off of it, it’s her business, but don’t go around lying about it, or trying to spin it, or worse yet, perhaps imply those who do sell pics are somehow beneath you.

Ugh, some celebs are too stupid to see how absolutely ridiculous and pathetic they come across. If I did PR for famous people (something I think I’d be great at IMHO) I’d have said, “Look, nannies, silk diapers, mink jumpers and Jaguar strollers don’t pay for themselves. If some dumbass wants to spend $3.50 to see pics of my client’s spawn, then who are we to deny them their joy. Now piss off jackass.”

See, simple, honest and direct. Just the way I like it I’m available, will work for beer.

Must be something in the water out in LA. because those freaks can’t seem to stop with all the baby-making. K will not be happy to hear another celeb if foisting yet another innocent child into the heinous world of fame. I for one love when the crazies procreate. It makes for even more craziness. Nothing pushes you further over the edge like having kids, so keep going you sex machines.

People is reporting actress Jessica Alba and her long-time boyfriend Cash Warren are due in late spring/early summer. From the article:

“I can confirm that Jessica and Cash are expecting a baby in late spring, early summer,” says rep Brad Cafarelli.

Alba, 26, has dated Warren, 28, since the fall of 2004 after they met on the set of The Fantastic Four, on which Warren was a director’s assistant.

The couple have been seen being affectionate together in Los Angeles in recent days, shopping for mattresses last Saturday and attending a Lakers game, where they were spotted kissing Sunday.

Well, congrats to the happy couple. Welcome to the terror of parenthood. You can kiss your affectionate kissing goodbye. It’s all over but the crying and the crapping.