Such A Cutey

Poor Jessica Simpson. Her dog Daisy was nabbed by a coyote right in front of her eyes. What a terrible thing to have to witness.
Frantically she went on Twitter to see if anyone has seen her beloved Daisy.
Eonline reported:

The dingo coyote took her baby!

Jessica Simpson is holding out hope that her most faithful of companions, her 5-year-old maltipoo, Daisy, will have a safe return after she witnessed a four-legged predator snatch her beloved dog.

“My heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our eyes,” Simpson tweeted yesterday evening. “HORROR! We are searching. Hoping. Please help!”

Along with the tweet, the distraught Simpson, who received Daisy as a surprise gift onstage from her ex-husband, Nick Lachey, a half-decade ago, posted an online flyer with a picture of the MIA pooch; the words “I miss my mommy”; an email address for people or, presumably, literate coyotes to write with information; and the promise of a reward for the canine’s safe return.

Dog-speed, Daisy.

I sincerely hope that the email she posted doesn’t get abused by people just wanting to say hey! or gives her false hope and lies about seeing her dog. If someone says they have her dog, let’s hope she has the smarts (rolls eyes) to bring enough people with her for protection to go check it out. Or have someone else check it out for her. Of course people can always bring a similar looking dog to her for the chance of meeting her. Sorry to be so paranoid, but there’s are a lot of sick people out there, and there are also many over zealous fans.

And speaking of sick people, I have already read several comments that people have left on articles and blogs around the internet and they are above and beyond cruel. Here is just one lovely part of a comment I found by a lovely person:
“knowing Joe Simpson and his idiot daughter, I wouldn’t put it past either of them to make this story up to get attention for Jessica”

That comment was tame compared to some of the ones I read. We all know how hurtful people can be in the comment sections! Right?

Now I am not a fan of Jessica Simpson myself, and never was, and I know she has a reputation for not being the sharpest tool in the box, but this isn’t the time to ridicule someone that has just lost a dear friend.

Yes, many non-famous people have lost their pets and it isn’t in the tabloids, we all know this. But hey, if you were famous, it would be. And even though eveyrone knows the chances of finding Daisy are slim to none because of the circumstances, she is desperate and heart broken. So I feel compelled to say, hey! back off douche bags!

So back to coyotes. I live in an area that looks like we would never see coyotes, but yet a few months ago, a coyote went through a neighbor’s yard only five houses down from me and her small children where in the backyard playing and thought it was a dog. And more and more are being seen in the adjacent streets.

Coyotes are very stealth like and fast. There have been many reports of coyotes attacking children in many states. They have also been attacking cats in our neighborhood too. The more and more areas get developed, the more coyotes search farther for food.

So word of caution people…
Keep an eye on your kids and your pets. Keep your dog on a leash. If you have a cat, keep it indoors, and make the sacrifice and get a damn litter box. It is worth it if you love your cat. There is nothing safe for cats outside anyways. There’s not only fleas, ticks, worms, animals with rabies, other cats, the chance of being hit by a car, and now being carried off by a coyote. Besides, if you take away all the other potential dangers of an outside cat, your vet bills may end up being a lot cheaper for you with an indoor cat. 

Just use your noggins people if you love your pets. Help them to live a long and happy life!

And to Jessica, sorry about your baby.

We try not to acknowledge fame drop-out Jessica Simpson too often, it merely encourages her, and honestly, encouragement is the LAST thing she needs. But alas, sometimes Jess’ ability to draw unwanted attention to herself goes above and beyond, and even we can’t look the other way.

So, what did Jessica Simpson do besides wear that unfortunate ensemble, which also included a pair of “mom” jeans? Well, she spouted off at the mouth about her equally moronic boyfriend, Dallas Cowboy quarterback Tony Romo, whose career has taken a nosedive since she came into his life. Like we’ve said before, Jessica is an albatross, a bad omen, a curse upon the land. Oh, and she’s now relegated to singing at chili cookoffs (to be fair, there were 30,000 people there).

First the ensemble. Jessica is a pretty girl, there’s no doubt, but she’s also what Judd Nelson as John Bender from the great film The Breakfast Club would call a “Claire.” When Claire (played by the original firecrotch, Molly Ringwald) says, “I’m not fat,” Bender explains, “Well not at present, but I can see you really pushing maximum density. See I’m not sure if you know this, but there are two kinds of fat people: there’s fat people that were born to be fat, and there’s fat people that were once thin but became fat… so when you look at ‘em you can sorta see that thin person inside. You see, you’re gonna get married, you’re gonna squeeze out a few puppies and then, uh…”

Yeah, so that describes Jessica, and I have found through empirical research that the more she blabs about her current love interest (for now, Tony Romo) the fatter she gets. Now, I have no problem if Jessica Simpson wants to be all puffy and bloated, that’s her business. But if she is going to get up on stage and sing at a chili cookoff wearing that redonkulous outfit, well then it becomes MY business.

But wait, there’s more…

Who rocks your world?

No, I’m not being mean.  All I’m sayin’ is lay off the Restalyne before somebody gets hurt.

thx to BOYCOTT BOLT

And the saga continues…it would seem that Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson’s on-again/off-again/on-again romance is back on, but only if Papa Joe stays completely off the playing field:

”He did agree to go to [sister Ashlee's] wedding — keeping his promise to Jessica,” Romo’s Eastern Illinois alum chum told me. ”But he made it super-clear that if they were to give it another go, her dad had to seriously back off.”

Joe Simpson has long been seen as an overbearing presence, as he managed both his daughters’ careers. While clearly successful, Simpson has earned a reputation as being a guy extremely difficult with whom to work.

My source says Romo has told Jessica their renewed relationship is ”a trial thing,” dependent on Daddy Joe ”leaving them alone” and stifling his tendency to tell Romo how to run his life, career and endorsement deals.

It’s no secret that many people think Joe Simpson is a seriously creepy guy.  But come on…Tony Romo didn’t get to where he is in the NFL by being stupid in his business dealings.  I’m sure he has ‘people’ on his payroll who help him with his career decisions and endorsement deals…he doesn’t need unsolicited advice from a guy who looks and acts like a smarmy used car salesman.

I can’t say as I blame Tony…there’s nothing worse than a meddling busybody trying to worm their way into your life by continually telling you the “best” way to do things and meddling in your personal life.  It’s like that loud uncle at the Thanksgiving table who just doesn’t know when to shut up about your line of work, and who goes on and on until you want to shove his face in the sweet potatoes.

Ashlee, Jessica, a word of advice…ditch Papa Joe as your manager.  Now.  Before he sends your careers (and your personal relationships) totally down the toilet.  Jessica, if you were happy with Tony outside of your father’s interference, then you should think about that, because keeping daddy as a manager will be small comfort when you grow old alone.

Amid some pretty solid news that Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson are definitely splitzville, comes this report that Tony honored his promise to squire Jess to her sister’s wedding…after being “reminded” by her father Joe:

After multiple sources told Us this week that Tony Romo, and Jessica Simpson, had split. The Dallas Cowboys quarterback arrived at Simpson’s parents’ Encino house shortly before noon today as the family prepared for Ashlee’s backyard wedding.

As Usmagazine reported on Friday, Joe Simpson personally called Romo and asked him to attend the wedding, as Jessica’s date, in order to support the family. Jessica will be Ashlee’s maid of honor.

What kind of dad calls up his daughter’s ex to “support the family”?  I mean, I’d think he would want people there who WANT to be around, not who have to be “asked”.  And what is this “support the family” biz?  It sounds like they’re preparing for a funeral, not a wedding.  Come on, Joe, it isn’t a fiscal crisis, just your knocked-up daughter’s shotgun wedding.  I’m telling you, these Simpsons just ooze class!

Makes me wonder just what sort of dirt Papa Joe has on Tony.  I don’t think Tony did this just to be nice.  You just gotta wonder if Jessica told daddy something that was supposed to be kept secret, or if she saw something she wasn’t supposed to, or if that whole incident in Vegas was more than it seemed on the surface.  Or maybe he had Tony sign one of those billion year contacts like Scientology makes you sign when you join Sea Org.  I ain’t sayin’, I’m just sayin’.

Don’t drink the punch, Tony!

Do ya think?

I said that one even before this story came out, but since it’s in the Chicago Sun-Times I guess it’s now official.  Because, you know, they have “sources” while I just have good, old-fashioned deductive reasoning.  Seems that Tony got fed up with not just dorkager extraordinaire Joe Simpson but the paparazzi horde that swarms around Jessica every time she farts rainbows:

The Cowboy apparently explained he had ”really had it” with being a constant target of the paparazzi and the celebrity press in general, and feels this particular romantic relationship was distracting him from his football career.

In addition, Romo’s friend said the talented QB has been put off by the intrusive style of Joe Simpson, who’s been ”not only telling Jessica every move to make, but now has begun to offer unsolicited advice to Tony on his career, endorsement opportunities and things that have nothing to do with him dating Jessica.”

Wait, I was wrong…the farts smell like desperation, and men can smell that a mile away, even when we think they are SBD:

Furthermore, Romo reportedly was very upset by Simpson’s interview in Glamour magazine where she referred to Romo as her ”future husband” and other on-the-record interviews she has given, saying she wants Romo to be the father to her children.

Oh yeah, that air biscuit is gonna hang around long after Jessica has cut up her pink #9 jersey in a fit of hormone-fueled tearful rage.

Desperation…the new scent by Jessica Simpson, on sale now in purse-size atomizers and gallon jugs at a fine Wal-Mart near you.

Jessica, a word of advice…ditch Daddy.  Now.  Before he sends your life and career farther down the dumper than it already is.  And, um, obvious needy is obvious.  I ain’t sayin’, I’m just sayin’.

Robin Leach (yes, that Robin Leach) has some interesting dirt on what went on between blonde singer Jessica Simpson and QB Tony Romo this past weekend.  Apparently, they were in Vegas when a weekend that started out beautifully, with parties and breakfast in bed, suddenly turned very ugly:

It began when Jessica, Tony and the players all hit the Peacock Lounge for high limit blackjack. Jessica was said to have won $5,000 and then they retired to their penthouse while the others went onto the Body English nightclub. The couple even spent some time tanning in the sunshine rays at the new $8 million makeover pool at the Hard Rock while watching the NFL draft on their private cabana HD TV screens. At some point, however, allegedly Tony, who was rumored to be paid a $15,000 appearance fee at Body English took the money and went gambling. My spywitnesses tell me that by the time he was finished he’d lost a fortune and I swear to you I was told that the figure could have run as high as a whopping $2.5 million. Whatever the staggering loss totaled it immediately put a damper on their fun weekend. I’m reliably told Hard Rock officials offered to pay Jessica a bonus $25,000 if she’d co-host at Body English the second night with Tony.

Allegedly a livid Jessica refused because she’s paid far more for personal appearances and the fun weekend had suddenly turned into a commercial gig. Also she was said to be “angry beyond words” over his gambling and the large loss. Insiders told me that one thing led to another and they wound up in a “furious fight.” I was then told that instead of turning up together for a third day of “fun in the sun” at DMX’s party for the re-opening of the Rehab summer pool they both left town unexpectedly.

That pop you just heard was Joe Simpson’s head exploding.  Twice.

Forget Jessica (and the heart attack this news is sure to give her father).  I’m wondering if Tony needs a personal assistant, because anyone who can drop that kind of cheddar and still be rich…well, either he should hire me as a PA or I need to learn to throw a football.

I guess only time will tell if the rumor of their going their separate ways is true or not.  Expect a denial from Jessica’s camp any moment now.  But Robin has proven to have excellent “sources”, so…?

I wonder if they had caek in their suite?

And then you have these two morons.

Let’s compare and contrast my post yesterday about the low-key, classy wedding thrown by Eli Manning and his long-time girlfriend, and the white trash, hillbilly affair that Tony Romo’s birthday bash turned into.

Yes, Jessica Simpson threw boyfriend Tony a party, and the affair disintegrated into a caek-slurping mess:

 The PDA-packed bash took place Saturday night at Suite, a lounge in Dallas, where “she sang him ‘Happy Birthday,’” Kyle Kearbey of DMagazine.com, the Web site for Dallas’ D Magazine, tells Usmagazine.com.

The two really seemed to enjoy the cake, which was in the shape of a Dallas Cowboys star and had Romo’s No. 9 jersey number on it.

“They were kissing with lots of messy cake!” adds Kearbey. “Jessica had cake all over her hands and was licking her thumbs.”

I’m sorry…I’m not a prude or an old fogey, but this is really just gross.  Is she trying to be sexy or something?  Is acting like a baby with their first birthday cake sexy?  I’m not adverse to having fun with one’s food, but if Jessica and Tony want to play like this with their caek then they should keep that stuff in the privacy of a room with plastic sheets and walls that you can hose off.  When I see people out in public acting like this, I want to remind them that the world at large isn’t there to be their audience.

Perhaps, just maybe, it would have been a little bit acceptable had they rented a private room for their party, but they were out in a public place.  Geez, nobody wants to see things like this.  It reminds me of toddlers who smush food all over their faces just to see what sort of reaction they will get.

There’s fun, and then there’s just stupidity.  Let’s guess which category this one falls into.

For more photos (if you can stomach it), go here.

Or something like that.

Apparently, sleeping in tents and bunks is good enough for our brave men and women serving in the Armed Forces, but for Jessica Simpson, not so much:

Jessica Simpson is headlining the Operation MySpace concert in Kuwait Monday, but industry insiders are wondering how Simpson is going to pull off making her performance look like a gift to the troops given how little time she’s spending with them and the exorbitant expense required to shuttle Simpson overseas and back to the U.S.

According to a source close to the Simpson camp, a private plane carrying Simpson and her entourage — which includes dad Joe, hairstylist Ken Paves, her personal assistant and a stylist — left L.A. and was due in Kuwait the evening of March 9. Total cost for the plane was approximately $150,000.

Someone will be picking up the tab for accommodations as well, even though it’s been touted that Simpson will be forgoing her standard hotel suite to spend the night living like the troops in a bunk. The source close to Simpson predicts that any time spent in a bunk will last no longer than the time it takes for a photo.

“Jessica doesn’t sleep in tents or bunks the night before a concert. She needs to give a good performance — there’s no way Joe will want The Pussycat Dolls (who are also performing as part of the same show) to upstage his daughter. He’ll have her sleeping in a proper bed in the right environment.”

Other expenses include her stylist and makeup artist (who both charge approximately $6,000 per day), and Paves, whose day rate is a whopping $10,000, according to the Simpson source.

“This isn’t a charity show. The people around Jessica aren’t donating their time or cutting their rates as if this was Jess’s charity Operation Smile. Someone is picking up the tab, and it’s not going to be Jessica.”

When the concert is over, Simpson has about three hours for quality time with the troops before her plane takes off again. “Literally, she’s going to sing ‘These Boots Are Made for Walking,’ and she’s going to be walking herself right back onto that plane,” said the source.

“The decision for her to do this doesn’t make sense,” said the source. “Her album is not ready for promoting, she risks being upstaged by the Pussycat Dolls and there’s no way to come out of this without looking like a financial drain on the project.” (MySpace and Simpson’s reps decline to comment on who is covering costs.)

What, girlfriend can’t put on her own hair and makeup?  This isn’t a movie or a red carpet appearance, it’s a concert for the troops.  And is Jessica Simpson really the best we can do?  Haven’t the troops suffered enough already?

I realize that celebs do have certain special needs that Joe Schmoe The Ragpicker doesn’t have, especially as far as security.  But come on…a brush, a hair dryer, and some mousse don’t cost that much, and every first-grader can comb their own hair and apply a product to their lips.

I am all for entertaining the troops, but I am not at all for people using that to promote themselves and engage in diva behavior.  And Jessica hasn’t done anything in years that hasn’t been all about her.  Instead of wasting all that money, at least some of it could be donated to charities who help the soldiers and their families.  Better yet, donate it all, and let Jessica stay at home.  But wait…would she get any press out of that?

Face it, sistah…you’re no Marilyn, who went to Korea while on her honeymoon to Joe DiMaggio and performed ten shows in four days, swooping in while hanging out of a helicopter, singing to the troops in the freezing cold, and getting sick in the process:

February 16, 1954: Marilyn arrives in Korea. Her entrance is magnificent. Anticipating the Playboy-bunny scene in Apocalypse Now, she asks the helicopter pilot to swoop down over the troops in the field so she can wave to them. Lying on the helicopter floor, Marilyn extends her upper torso fully outside the bay (a pair of hefty enlisted men holding her legs) as the chopper repeatedly strafes the front.

The star, who has never before played to a live audience, has pulled together an act out of numbers from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes and How to Marry a Millionaire. In her posthumous memoir, My Story, Monroe describes waiting in the wings before her first performance and hearing the roar of the crowd drown out the music. An agitated officer rushes her out on stage, afraid that the audience will riot. At the last of Monroe’s ten performances (during which she entertains some 100,000 troops) the troops do riot. Forced to wait for hours in subzero cold, some 6,000 members of the 45th (”Thunderbird”) Division stomp down the barriers and throw rocks to clear the stage for Marilyn. The next morning she returns to wish them goodbye, but instead of sayonara uses eleewah, Korean for “Come here,” and precipitates another mad stampede. Marilyn left Korea with a mild case of pneumonia, but told Jennings that her work there had been her “greatest experience with any kind of audience,” “the best thing” that had ever happened to her.

 

(I do know that there were many, many other entertainers who went overseas and endured harsh conditions to bring our brave troops some joy, but Marilyn was the first one to come to mind when thinking of someone for a compare/contrast.  Face it, it wouldn’t have been as effective had I chosen Bob Hope.  And he didn’t look nearly as good in a dress.)

 

So instead of taking snaps and executing quarterback sneaks at the Super Bowl, this weekend Tony Romo was reduced to carrying around Jessica’s wig.

I started to feel sorry for the guy, but then I remembered he makes more money in one game than I make in five years, so I got over it pretty quick.

Hope that trip to Mexico was worth it!