It’s hump day and what’s been going on in the world of celebrity gossip lately?
Same old crap and some new crap.

Lindsey Lohan went to court and partied the night before and the night after her court hearing. Yawn!
But wait… she said she’s afraid her Dad may kidnap her now. Uh.. again yawn. Wake me up when she does something new.

What’s also up?
Not Balloon Boy!  That news is SO rampant, that I am already tired of it. But it looks like reality has caught up with the Heenes. Honestly, I caught these loons on Wife Swap a while back and the father was a hot headed, delusional wacko, who thinks the sun rises and sets by him. I thought this man was questionable way back then, but you can’t always tell, with the way “reality” shows edit their shows. But now we know for sure. Yep! My gut instinct was totally spot on.

Now I think his wife is either abused and doesn’t know enough to get away and agrees with everything her idiot husband does regardless, or she actually agrees with everything her hubby does and also thinks you should raise your children by dragging them to twister romps and pulling them out of school and allowing them to trash talk to whomever they want. Either scenario is SAD. 
Oh! Have you seen their video on YouTube? I can’t understand what the hell they are singing about, but it looks pretty darn questionable. Future Beastie Boys ya think?

I wonder if wifey-poo will throw hubby under the bus, when it comes down to their day in court? Get out the popcorn! And as far as reality fame goes? Heenes… you got it now! Yah happy?

And more people who get under my skin…
Elisabeth Hasselbeck is back on The View. (oh joy) 
I guess little Ms. Perfect sent out some not so perfect baby pictures of her baby AND a guest appearance of her nipple to her friends and family by mistake. HA HA HA! This story brought me so much joy.

On to other idiots…
Rod Blagojevich (again NOT a celebrity), WILL appear on Celebrity Apprentice, yet another reason not to watch Trump’s show ever again.

And even more idiots…
Stephanie Pratt was busted for DUI. I wonder what bible thumper sista -in-law Heidi Montag will have to say about this? Maybe Heidi can get Stephen Baldwin to baptize Stephanie for her. ‘Cause we all know just how beneficial it was for Heidi. Praise Jesus!

And on to the King  and Queen of idiots…
Jon Gosselin is still hated by the majority of America. Well wait a minute…I stand corrected. Octomom, Nadya Suleman told Radar Online she thought Jon Gosselin was hot and has a crush on him. Ummm… hot?Perhaps Nadya needs her eyes checked and should pick up a paper every once in a while. Oh that’s right, she has 14 children, who has time?

But sorry Octomon, Jon was too busy getting his sexy on in a fancy cab with gal pal Hailey Glassman.
Hey Jon, you sure you want to pass this up? Could be a new show fer yah!
How about “John +Nadya +14+ 8 = The Earth Spinning Off It’s Axis”?

Well not if TLC has anything to say about it! They are already suing Jon for breech of contract, of course.
And he also has been ordered to pay back $180,00.00 back to his account with Kate. Kate ALSO has been ordered to pay some money back too. Seems like Karma has been rearing it’s ugly head with those two.

And speaking of Octomom, the Doc that implanted the SIX embryos (one split into two) into Octomom has been booted from the practice where he was employed for not following the rules. But of course he is still allowed to practice. Who knows what he will do now that he is on his own. I smell another reality show?
I can hear the promo now…
“Meet Dr. Eggo! He’s serving them sunny side up, so you too can have your very own reality show and start exploiting your very own litter of children in no time! Hey! Let Go Of My Eggo!”

Seriously, have you seen the latest clip of Octomon and her brood with all those kids crying? It makes me want to pull my hair out.

Speaking of child exploitation, Kate Gosselin tells Vanity Fair she ”feels like a prisoner” of her own fame and that the kids are starting to act out. STARTING to act out? Wow, if seeing Maddy in previous shows was only the start of her bitchdom, I woudn’t want to see her now. That child is not a force to be reckoned with! And please Kate…  let me get out the violin….you were being interviewed by VANITY FAIR and getting paid for it. Prisoner my ass!

On to more phony things….
Miss California, Carrie Prejean is being sued for her her boobs! K2 Productions (which directs the California USA pageant ) is asking Carrie for $5,200 back. I guess they paid for her boob job. K2 says it’s not about the money, and the money will go to charity. I doubt if will want the implants back. *snicker*

Speaking of cash….
Nicholas Cage is in a heap of debt. Cage is suing his former manager Samuel Levin for $20 million. Levin allegedly screwed with Cage’s money and Cage says that his manager is the one responsible for his current debt headache. Word of advice Nick…. don’t wait seven years before you check up on hired help that handles all your dough.

And on to big sloppy messes…
Anna Nicole Smith is back in the news again. Well, the court case of her doctors and Howard Stern that is.
In court, Larry Birkhead told a scathing account of Anna’s drug use while she was pregnant. 

Maurice Brighthaupt, former bodyguard of Anna, claims he saw Howard Stern, and Dr. Eroshevich injecting Anna with needles. He also said he saw Anna injecting herself. Why did this guy wait so long with this information? Supposedly Dr. Eroshevich was the bodyguard’s friend, as well as Stern. Sorry! No excuse.

Supposedly Anna Nicole was drinking pedialyte out of a baby bottle and laying in her own feces when found. Why was she ever brought to Florida in this condition? Now I know Anna was a complete mess with drugs, but when someone is that addicted to drugs and that incapacitated, she should have received help from the people around her, especially her doctors and those closest to her. Not checking into a Florida hotel. Stern was not present at her death, he was busy seeing a man about boat.

The IRS is also in play with Anna Nicole these days, and have filed a $125,112.86 tax lien on the estate of Vickie Lynn Marshall. So much for resting in Peace. Geez, what a mess.

And some weirdness in the news…
Marge Simpson is on the cover of Playboy’s October issue. Sorry, I didn’t find it at all amusing and I refuse to show a picture of it.
In fact I poo poo Playboy for advertising the Simpsons.

Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson, Scientologist extraordinaire, donated TEN MILLLION DOLLARS to Scientology in May of 2008. Anyone that supports the Simpsons in any way is inadvertently giving money to Scientology down the line. Why would Cartwright give the money to her children, when she would rather hand it over to Scientology? Gotta keep everything KSW! (Keep Scientology Working) Right Nancy? Hope she wakes up some day.

Speaking of naughty pictures.
Levi Johnston (former husband of Bristol Palin) will be posing for Playgirl and has been in the gym bulking up for his upcoming saucy shots. I also caught him on a commercial for Wonderful Pistachio nuts. Yes, the man who will soon be showing his nuts was hawking nuts on TV. The commercial shows him with an immense bodyguard and Levi is eating a few nuts and the tag line says “Now Levi Johnston does it with protection”
I kid you not. See the commercial for yourself!
Wow! Talking about pissing Palin off! Yeehaw!

But wait it gets better….
Levi was interviewed by Vanity Fair. The name of the article is “Me and Mrs. Palin”.

Levi dishes about Palin and her lack of parenting, her bad moods, Todd flipping out and Levi was quoted as saying,

“I thought, Was this woman—who, at home, would literally say things that did not make sense—really running for vice president?”

You go Levi! I have a new respect for the boy. *snicker*

Then we move on to more puzzling things…
The court case of John Travolta.
Readers are probably wondering why I haven’t reported on this case as of yet. The testimonies in the court case were changing on a such a daily basis with so much “he said/she said” garbage going on, and with changing stories, that if I wrote about what was happening as it happened, I would have had to edit the story every single day.

I will be covering this story when and if I feel that some sort of conclusion of sorts has been made. I will say that this case has been one big puzzle of unanswered questions on BOTH sides.

And speaking of The Travoltas moving on …
Both Kelly and John attended the IAS (International Association of Scientologists)
Scientology 25th Anniversary at Scientology’s St. Hill Org in England.
Sadly, it looks like John will not be leaving this cult any time soon.

Tom Cruise, Katie and Suri were also in attendance. Poor Katie and Suri.

Scientology wanted people to believe that 4,000 people were in attendance at their event. ROTFL!
That number is just classic Scientology spin in which they are so famous for. They usually have to fly and bus tons of people in, as well as dressing up their Sea Orgers members to fill in the seats so it will look full. Reason for this? So their IAS PR photo will look like they are still successful to their members. It’s an old smoke and mirrors trick of Scientology, so they can continue to deceive their members. Lovely, isn’t it?

The IAS is nothing more than members donating money to Scientology. (which the majority goes straight to cult leader David Miscavige) In return for their donation, they get a discount on courses, auditing and such. Which is not a discount at all since they are donating money. Duh!

Cruise and Travoilta have donated millions and millions of dolllars to Scientology. Exactly what Scientology does with all that money as fas as “helping” to “clear the planet”  is a mystery. The money goes to buy more buildings that stand idle, make Miscavige richer and pay for all their pending court cases, lawyers and Sci goons. Oh! and I almost forgot, they have to pay their Sea Org slave labor members about .25 cents an hour.

US Magazine reported on the 25th Anniversary and quoted Cruise about the Scientology protestors outside the event:

Later, during a reception, Cruise was overheard chatting with another American man about the protesters outside the venue. “They’re squirrels,” Cruise said angrily, according to a witness. “Stuck in an electronic incident. It makes me so angry!”

“Protesters are squirrels stuck in an electronic incident?”
Oh Tom, you certainly are one brainwashed mofo.
A ”squirrel” in scio-speak, means someone that messes or changes the tech of dead cult founder L. Ron Hubbard. Aka “squirreling the tech”. And “stuck in an electronic incident” is more scio babble from Hubbard’s work.

I wonder if Cruise actually said this though? Personally, I think if anything he would of called the protesters SP’s (suppressive people) not squirrels. And I think the “stuck in an electronic incident” line may have been borrowed from a video of another wacky Scientologist named George, which we reported on recently. Many duplicate videos of Scientologist George (who is an OTVIII, the highest that you can get on Scientology’s Bridge) showed up on YouTube and showed just how brainwashed Scientologists become the longer they stay in. The video is totally unscripted and SAD.

Cruise is supposedly an OTVII on The Bridge To Nowhere.

One more level to go Tom until you reach the tippety top to the Bridge of Total Freedom!
Yippee!
Good luck with that Tom! Wait till you see what OTVIII is all about!
SO worth the millions and millions of dollars that you blew. *snicker*

And now for something completely different and funny….
I was watching TV the other night, and there was a brief teaser for Season 6 of the steamy Nip /Tuck show, which started on Oct 14th. I thought I was seeing things, when I saw Mario Lopez completely decked out in black lingerie complete with a garter belt and black stockings. But no, I looked it up and yep it was none other than A. C. Slater (his name on Saved By The Bell) in drag!

Mario played Dr. Mike Hamoui on the series and he was seen in a steamy shower scene in a previous episode. Damn! I am going to have to start watching that show! Kudos for Mario for having the balls of steel for donning the less than flattering get up.

And even though Mario is one huge piece of eye candy…
sorry, this outfit just doesn’t cut it for me Mario. *snicker*

I’ll take Johnny Depp please!
Is that the way the clients of California Cryobank sperm bank order their baby makers?

Apparently the California Cryobank has come up with the idea of matching up their sperm donors with famous celebrity faces. Are they genius entrepreneurs helping their clients make a tough decision of who they should pick as their baby daddy? Or are they just trying to make more money than other sperm banks by claiming their donors are celebrity look alikes? Or both?

How does this sperm bank match their donor’s faces with celebrities? With high tech face-recognition? Nope!
Employees of Cryobank sit around a table and put the donor’s pictures up on a screen and argue which celebrity looks like that donor the most. When they come to a consensus, they add that information to the donor’s file, and then the donor’s name goes into a huge data bank. Clients can then search the data base for a donor by which celebrity they want their child to look like.

Although clients are not allowed to see the donor’s ACTUAL picture by law, clients can  search for a potential donor by picking out a celebrity name.

Too superficial?
How will the general public weigh in on this?

I wonder if someone will pass up a donor with a better IQ, for a donor that looks like Mario Lopez? I also wonder if people out there will pick a celebrity look alike in hopes on trying to cash in on their offspring down the line, especially if their child ends up as a dead ringer of a celebrity.

Hey Kate Gosselin, this has your name all over it! Only eight kids? What’s the big deal? The Duggars have you beat by a landslide! It can be your new show! “Kate Plus Eight Plus Elvis!”
And remember Kate, there is a plus side besides the new show…which ever donor you pick… he can’t take money out of your bank account! 

Now I have seen just about every way there is to make a buck in the ol’ USA, and a lot of it ain’t too pretty. And there are some wackos out there who may try to claim that their child is the child of an actual celebrity. I wouldn’t put it past them. Far fetched? Perhaps.

But take the case  of a women trying to collect millions from Keanu Reeves. She is claiming that he is the father of at least one of her four adult children.  *snicker*
Even though Reeves took a DNA test to prove that he wasn’t the father, and he also said he never met the women, she still isn’t backing off. 
What did Reeves have to say about this whole ordeal? 
Rest assured, he didn’t say, ”eeeeeexcellent!” *snicker*

Of course Cryobank does have a disclaimer to cover their butts in this overly litigious world:

“No celebrity is meant as an exact match for any donor, nor should you assume that your future children will look like any celebrity listed.”

NBC’s Today Show covered the sperm bank story, and on this video, you can see the employees sitting around a table with the donor’s picture on a screen and trying to figure out who the donors most resemble. Man, where do I sign up for this cream puff gig?

Scott Brown, communication manager of the California Cryobank said to NBC TODAY,

“It’s not that our donors look like celebrities, it’s that celebrities look like our donors,”

Oh! I see what he did there…. he is SO crafty!

You can also pick a young or older version of the celebrity too. Perhaps you would like a young Sean Connery as OO7, or the older more sophisticated Sean Connery. The choice is yours!

There are MANY stars as well as athletes listed in their data base. And let’s not forget musicians and the less than famous celebs. You can pick from Eddie Van Halen to Jackass reality star Stev-O!
I kid you not, he is on the list.
Wow, seriously…if anyone picks the Steve-O look alike, I am afraid I just don’t understand, unless he is a nuclear physicist.

 
So are there people out there opposed to this celebrity look alike baby daddy factory? YES.

Some snippets from NBC’s TODAY,

The program has its share of critics, especially in the bioethics world. University of Albany professor Bonnie Steinbock bashed California Cryobank’s celebrity-match program on CNN, saying, “There’s something strange about a culture that has stratified rigid types of beauty where everyone looks alike; now they’re trying to create children through who the actor of the moment is.”

Brown’s defense:

Not so, says Brown. While the process may seem superficial, it is actually extremely helpful in guiding prospective parents through a stressful and often confusing time, he asserts.

“Seem superficial”?
Some people would argue that it is superficial. But don’t people have the right to choose which donor they want for whatever reason, since they are the ones paying for it? And what if it does help the client make their choice?

Take the opinion of a perspective Mom who was trying to pick a donor:

“I’m flipping through the catalog with a friend of mine, feeling like I was about to recruit a basketball team, because it was just all stats.” And while she whittled down her list, the Cryobank couldn’t show her a picture of the donor — but it could tell her one of her finalists resembled Freddie Prinze Jr.
“For me, that clinched it right then and there,” she said. “I’ve always found him attractive!”

Freddie Prinze Jr.? Really? That clinched it for her? To each their own.

So matching a face to a donor may actually make some clients feel more at ease about who they pick, or actually help them to decide who to pick. I hope people have the good sense to pick donors with good qualities, rather than picking a donor because they like Orlando Bloom.
But then again, this is the land of the SUPER DUPER superficial, so nothing would surprise me.

I wonder if Cryobank’s business will be booming?

I can see it now…
Mothers with their kids are at the playground and one mother says to another,
“wow your little boy really looks like Leonardo DiCaprio! Any relation?” 

The proud Mom says, “Well no, it was donor #09756-QL5, we were really big fans of the movie Titanic, so that’s why we went with him”.

I guess if there is one guy who is a real dead ringer of a handsome celebrity, he will be in big demand and asked to come back quite often. There can be a panic at Cryobank if they run out!  What happens then?

It may go something like this:

“OMG! We are fresh out of the Ryan Reynolds look alike! Get 9087-K490L on the phone stat! Tell him we have some new vids and magazines! Yeah I know he has been in twice a day for the past month and he’s a bit tender… Chain him down again if you have to, until he puts out. We are in the baby making business people!”

MORE???

I guess in the long run it can become quite a lucrative and fun “job” if you are a celebrity look alike donor. What guy wouldn’t want this gig? At $50- $75 a pop, I am surprised that there is a job shortage for men in the US! Hell, they ain’t getting paid for doing it at home!

Tough luck for all you donors out there who look like Gary Busey (sorry Gary) or OJ Simpson. (not sorry OJ)

I imagine their “stuff” wouldn’t have too many takers and is probably passed up for the gloopus of a more hunkier looking celebrity look alike.

But things may not work out exactly the way you have planned. Even though you picked out your favorite celeb look alike, don’t forget there is a 50/50 chance that your child may be a girl and you may end up with a pretty scary looking child! And I am more than sure that Cryobank does not issue refunds for fuglies.

Very Scary Indeed!

I bet some clients just won’t really care if the donor they picked has only two brain cells….
Just as long as their celebrity knock off looks good in a tux!

Ok, first off…
Let me get this out of my system.

HA HA HA HA HA HA…ohhhhh…. HA HA HA HA HA!
*Wipes Eyes*
Sigh… Ok I’m better now.

Now I am not going to hold back, so if you are a Gosselin lover, (are there any left?) then you have been warned!

Kate Gosselin has recently stated that she would work at McDonald’s if she had to. Bitch PA-LEASE!

Hurry Kate! Your Turn To Switch On The Fryolator!

How can she have the audacity to say that she would work at McDonald’s? Now let me get this straight Kate, when you are busy doling out fries and burgers, who will be home taking care of your kids, dumb ass?

I caught TMZ on TV last night and they said it was going on day TWO that the nanny has picked up your kids at their school bus stop for crying out loud. Is anyone buying this crap? Does she think she can hire nannies to care for her kids while she is out slinging hash? Give me a break!

Or is this going to be her next reality show? “Kate Plus Ate” *snicker*

Everyone knows darn well that Ms. Gosselin wouldn’t be caught dead working at a McDonald’s. I am sure she thinks that working at McDonald’s would be a total subservient job. Can you imagine working with her? McDonald’s my ass!

But Oh dear!
What is Kate to do now that Jon no longer wants to do the show any more? It’s YOUR fault that you pissed away all your money, or you let Jon piss away all of the money. Who ever is to blame, it doesn’t really matter now, does it? The fact of the matter is, over two hundred THOUSAND dollars is now gone. What about your EIGHT children?

Looks like the Gosselins should have thought this through a LONG ago. But no, they were too busy getting “famous”.

US Magazine reported:

Could Kate Gosselin soon be asking if you want fries with that?

The mom of eight, 34, called into The View Monday to say she’d take a job at McDonald’s to support her kids if it came down to it. (A few hours earlier, she appeared on the Today show.)

Finding alternate work may be necessary now that Jon has halted production on her TLC reality show and left her with just $1,346 (down from $231,000) in a shared bank account, she said.

“We’re on temporary holding right now. A lot of this stuff is out of my control,” she said. “I can tell you that my kids are upset that it’s on hold, that the opportunities that they did have. For example, they’re supposed to be in New York. We were supposed to come up this weekend and see the Statue of Liberty and they don’t understand why we can’t do that now. So for myself and the kids, I’m hoping it goes on for the opportunities as well as, obviously, the financial. I mean, essentially, it’s my job, and I’m hoping to continue working.”

And if it doesn’t?

“I do know that no matter what, I know within myself that if I have to work at McDonald’s, I will do what it takes to provide for my kids, period,” she said.
Former co-host Lisa Ling, who was guest hosting the show Monday, challenged Kate’s desire to keep her kids on TV as they grapple with their parents’ split.

“My parents got a divorce. I can’t even imagine any of it being on television,” Ling said. “I don’t see what the problem is with stopping the show or taking the kids off the show for a period of time until things can get resolved…There have got to be other ways to make money than putting your kids on television.”

Your kids can’t go to the Statue of Liberty now Kate? Wahhhhhh. Maybe you should have thought of that before you two blew over $200 grand. 

But wait, hold on here…you got a free tummy tuck, but nobody would pay your way for Lady Liberty? What’s the matter Kate? Not networking enough? You didn’t tell the paps or the rags that you wanted to go to NY with your little money makers?

I am sure the National Enquirer would have paid you pretty well for that photo op! 

I can see the headlines of the Enquirer now..

“Kate Gosselin Begs For Spare Change Outside The Statue Of Liberty So She Can Afford To Send Her Kids To The Top!” *snicker*

Or is it that your popularity is dwindling and people see you and Jon for the total idiots you are?  Perhaps you two are no longer a hot commodity any more? *crosses fingers*

Sorry Kate, I do not have one smidgen of sympathy for you. Or you either Jon. You whored out your kids for cash and fame, and you were too big for your own britches. You acted like a total beeyotch and now you want everyone to feel sorry for you. You made money off your books, appearances and that horrible show, and now it’s all gone. Tsk Tsk.

I only feel sorry for your kids. You forced them into appearing on TV and did not care about their emotional well being. They have total idiots for parents who put themselves first and made horrendously BAD choices.

Taking those kids off the show is the best thing you can do for them right now. Let them be kids and have a normal life if that is at all possible. And Maddy can stand to use some serious anger management courses already.

But I am sure we have not seen the last of your kids. You will be pushing your kids into TV commercials or acting lessons so you can continue to live off them. Have to keep that dough flowing in! Right?

So Kate…and this goes for you too Jon, if you are hurting for cash (I find that hard to believe) you both are getting what you deserve.
I guess Maddy can always sue you two when she gets older. *snicker*

It’s a damn shame that your poor kids got caught up in the middle of your train wreck.

The word is out.
Michelle Dugger of the reality show 18 Kids and Counting will be giving birth to her 19th child this March. The new baby will be joining Joshua, Jana, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jedidiah, Jeremiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, Jennifer,and Jordyn.

The Duggers have been married since 1984. That means with number 19 on the way, she will have given birth to 19 kids in 25 years.

Ok, I’m sorry when does it start to get gross? Michelle, the human pinata has already had three C sections. Her belly must be like a ziploc bag.

MSNBC reported that she was surprised when she found out she was pregnant. After all, she had just given birth to a baby girl only eight months prior. She sure is quite the Fertile Myrtle. I wonder what is in the water out there in Arkansas?
Hey Michelle! You must have been absent from school the day the girls had the talk about their changing bodies.

Of course there is a reason behind Michelle’s disregard for her body and her poor kids who have to take care of all the other kids. It’s called Quiverfull. Not too many people are familiar with this Christian movement. They believe that one should be fruitful and multiply and believe that every child is a gift from Providence.
And from Wiki:

“The Christian quiverfull movement derives its name from Psalm 127:3-5, where many children are metaphorically referred to as a quiver full of arrows.”

Yeah ok… having that many children is from way back when parents needed children to work on the farms. This is 2009 Duggers.

People have the right to believe in what they want as long as it doesn’t  harm anyone, and I know they also has the right to have as many children as they want as long as they can care for them, but sorry, having 19 children is utterly ridiculous in this day and age.

It also reminds me of something…

Are the Duggers yet another family that will be exploiting their kids for the fame and fortune of reality TV? Jon and Kate Plus 8 comes to mind.
Although Michelle Dugger is not at all like Kate Gosselin as far as being materialistic or having Kate’s cheery disposition *snicker* but she isn’t any brighter either.

Gee, I wonder if Kate is a tad worried that The Duggers will be taking over the lime light in child exploitation. Well you know Kate, you can always have a few more! Cha-ching!

I happen to catch a bit of one of the Duggger shows and I couldn’t watch it. They were preparing to go on some sort of bus trip, and between the packing, the bathroom stops and everything else in between, it just made me cringe and shake my head. Although the kids seem surprisingly very well behaved compared to some reality show kids, *ahem*
It seemed like a total hardship on the Dugger kids who have to use the “buddy system” and constantly care for the rest of the Dugger brood. When do these kids get to be kids instead of being instant parents? They are all home schooled on top of it. Talk about sibling rivalry and wanting to get the hell out of the house!

Although some will argue that home schooling is the only way to go, I think kids miss out on a lot of social interaction and activities that you don’t get with home schooling. Yes I know they are on a show, and probably see lots of other people, and they mosey into town and do play with some other kids, but what about having BFFs? I cherish my childhood friends, and some of  my fondest memories are of school. I still keep in touch with many people I went to school with. You would think that the Duggers would want their children to have these precious memories too. Obviously not.
Perhaps Jim Bob is forming his own little cult?
 
And what about Michelle?

Doesn’t she want a break? Yeah I know it takes two to tango, and it is ultimately her final say as to whether or not she wants to go through with any more pregnancies. But is she being prodded? (ok, I know what you were thinking there, snicker) 
Is Jim Bob or anyone else putting dollar signs in her eyes? Well I guess either way, if she come out with a tell-all book, she will be raking in the dough. 

She already maintains a blog on TLC’s website. I guess having a bevy of built in baby sitters does have its advantages? I did check out her blog. She says she is exhausted and she had this to say about her current pregnancy:

“I thought we might be done. I was a little sad about it, but I just accepted it was a stage of my life and perhaps God felt my family was complete.I told Jim Bob right away, and he was so excited, he couldn’t hold it in. We told the children right then, and they were excited, too.”

A LITTLE  sad? I would have ripped my freakin’ hair out. And Jim Bob (yes that’s his real name, honest) was excited was he? If it was Jim Bob that had to go through labor, I think the Dugger family member count would have been about four, and would have stayed at four, including himself and Michelle.

On a more serious note. What about the dangers associated with having this many pregnancies?
According to CafeMom, getting pregnant repeatedly can have some huge and nasty repercussions.
Not to mention that the possibility of having a child with mental or physical problems greatly increases.

They asked three nurses and this is part of what they said:

Medically speaking, with each pregnancy, you have an increased risk for postpartum bleeding because your uterus doesn’t want to contract down to normal size. It’s been stretched for so long and so often, it tries to be stubborn. Another risk is for the bladder to prolapse, meaning it drops downward and can come out of the vaginal canal. To fix it, they have a new procedure that’s fairly easy, but a lot of GYNs don’t like to do it until  you are done having babies.

Just lovely.
Well let’s just hope Michelle’s bladder doesn’t fall out of her “hoo ha” on the show. But I am sure the ratings would be killer, won’t they?
I can just hear the preview for the upcoming show… Tune in next week  when all “h”-”e” double hockey sticks breaks out when Michelle’s bladder falls in the batch of homemade soap! Oh the hilarity!

Michelle, you can be done now. Honest you can. I doubt your kids feel that they need another child to care for. Don’t start thinking that 20 is a nice round number, I think your quiver is quite full. God won’t be mad if you stop now. *snicker*

Really, when is Michelle and Sir Hump-a-lot, Jim Bob going to put a cork in it? Or when will Jim Bob have a couple of snips? Which seems MORE than fair to Michelle, wouldn’t you say?

The Duggers are not only on TLC, they have a book under their belts called The Duggers: 20 And Counting and I am sure there will be more to follow. Jim Bob is a former state legislator, and is involved in a number of businesses, including commercial real estate. So even though having a huge family like the Duggers would be financially devastating for most, they supposedly make ends meet. I am sure TLC is making it a lot easier for them financially, if not helping them to survive. Of course the Duggers plan on going forward with yet another season. But what happens when their audience goes away, and TLC no longer finds them bankable? Will their quiver be finally full then?

Speaking of TLC, you have to love TLC, huh?
They have some real quality shows. *snicker* From Toddlers & Tiaras to I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant. Hey Michelle maybe you can be on that show too!

TLC is known as the “Learning Channel.”
I am sorry, what are we learning here again? How to have a litter of children? Or how to put a pair of flippers (fake teeth) on your child and dress them up in a hooker outfit with big hair and caked on make up and watch them bump and grind to I’m A Little Teacup?
People pa-lease!

I guess TLC is always on the look out for more children and families to exploit.Yeah I know, it’s the parents that choose to do the shows. But how many of these yahoos are being tantalized by the reality show dream of getting their little ones on TV and banking in on them?

Of course TLC would have LOVED the Vassilyev family.
Nobody can compete with the first wife of Feodor Vassilyev of Shuyu Russia. She bore 69 children between 1725 and 1765. She had 16 pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets, and four sets of quadruplets.

Now your talking! Too bad TV wasn’t around back in the 1700’s, this family could have been reality show gold.
They could have called the show “The Hump-a lots!”
Oh wait… that’s the Duggers.

Hey Now! Knock it off!
Will someone please turn a hose on these two? Geez!

One Biotch Replaced By Another

What’s wrong with The View?
It’s bad enough that they continue to have Ms.Thing, Elisabeth Hasselbeck on their show, who’s right wing, closed minded, bible thumping, anti gay rants have set me through the roof on several occasions, but to bring D-lister bozo, Kate Goselin on the show?
 
Gee… which idiotic biotch makes me feel like biting a tire more? Hasselbeck or Gosselin? It’s definitely a toss up. 

Hasselbeck has had MANY heated arguments with several panelists on The View over the years. Go Rosie!

One tiff involved Hasselbeck and Whoopi going at it over Hillary Clinton’s suggestion of having the US Government give each child a $5,000 saving bond at birth, and Hasselbeck’s reply was,

“it would lead to fewer abortions due to women wanting to keep the money”.

Sheer brilliance at its best!

Thankfully, Bush is out of the picture as well as Palin and John McCain, “The Maverick”, so we don’t have to hear Hasselbeck defending those morons. But that will be replaced by Kate Gosselin’s bitchdom. I hope Whoopi or Behar rips her a new one.

Kate Gosselin AND spineless ex-hubby Jon’s claim to fame was pimping out their kids for the almighty dollar. And don’t get me started on her hair which looks like she backed into a weed wacker. Is The View rewarding her for her bitchiness and kid pimping by hiring her for the show? Yes I believe they are.

Yeah, I know it’s all about the ratings, and I am sure they will have people tuning in so they can maybe catch a couple of cat fights between Behar and Kate for the couple of days she will be on, but I just dont agree with rewarding this person with MORE paid air time. Does she need more money to pay for yet another nanny to care for HER eight children while she’s off doing all these appearances? Does she have another phony crap book coming out? ”Multiple Bles8ings” indeed!

It’s bad enough that Kate was asked to be at the Marie Shriver’s Annual Woman’s Conference this October. Is this a wise candidate to attend this conference?

Well don’t forget Shriver did invite Scientology cultists Kelly Preston and John Travolta. But it has just been announced that they have since backed out and will not be attending due to it being too soon after their son Jett’s death.

I can’t decide whether Scientology would be glad or happy about this current announcement. Of course going public with grief if you are a Scientologists is a big no-no and VERY low on their Tone Scale. (0.5 out of 40). But maybe not talking about it is better in the eyes of the cult? Or perhaps by backing out and saying they are still healing is showing proof that Scientology’s tech and auditing simply don’t work? Well we all know what Scientology’s defense would be to their tech not working… they would say it’s John and Kelly’s fault and they “pulled it in”. Sad but true.
People Magazine reported that Kelly’s comment was:

 ”It is with my sincere apologies that I must pull out from speaking at the conference. I am sorry, but I truly believed that I could do it. Otherwise I never would have said that I could. But I am still deeply in the process of healing, and it’s just too soon.”

And what about Kate being asked to be Shriver’s Conference?  She is famous now for being a reality show bitch, and using her children to rake in the dough. Is Kate going to talk about how tough it is to go through a divorce when she in fact was a big  part of the problem? Let’s not forget that Shriver asked Kate to be on the forum because her daughters were fans of Jon and Kate Plus 8. I wonder if her daughters are still fans now, and if Shriver regrets inviting her? Nice move Shriver!

So between Kate Gosselin and Kelly Preston being asked to do the conference, I think Shriver must be losing her damn mind.

What gems of knowledge can Kate Gosselin offer to this Conference that would be worth a damn? Is she going to dare tell people how hard it is to raise her children? Even though she has nannies, maids and more help than you can shake a stick at? Why not invite a single mother trying to raise her kids and make ends meet who is on welfare to speak at the Conference? Not THAT is a real struggle. I am sure someone in that position would have a lot more advice to lend about coping with life.

I digress…
So back to The View. Perhaps Hasselbeck is not only busy making babies, (how many tots will this holy roller be pumping out?) but maybe she is also busy defending allegations of plagiarism in an upcoming lawsuit. You see she wrote a book (she suffers from celiac disease) a while back called The G-Diet, but Susan Hasset claims that Hassselbeck plagiarized her book, which was written a year earlier. Oh I can’t wait to see the outcome of this one. Hasselbeck’s daddy is a lawyer too, so will Dad be helping her out of this jam?

A snipette from US Magazine on Gosselin’s apperance :

The reality TV mom of eight will occupying the seat of regular co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who is out on maternity leave after giving birth to her third child, Isaiah, earlier this month.

The View has a lot of nerve asking the likes of Kate to fill in and I refuse to lists the dates she is going to be on. I can think of a lot of better suited candidates to fill in. Although I don’t consider their recent pick of having the Blagojevichs on the show a smart move either, to say the least. I am not going to open that can of (alleged) corrupt worms!

The thought of them paying Kate Gosselin who some people think is guilty of child abuse for what she put her kids through, to sit and chat about current events, is despicable. And paying the Blagojevichs? Totally maddening. Who’s next? Scott Peterson? How about OJ? Talk about ratings!
Sometimes you have to put ratings aside and decide you are not going to further slime ball’s careers.

At the very least, I guess some ”Viewers” will get a breather from Hasselbeck’s idiotic, whiny babbling for a bit. 
So to the prodcers of The View… SHAME ON YOU!

Before Kate left Jon I almost felt sorry for him. Yes I did call him a spineless man in a previous article, but I always felt that Kate was such a controlling total bee-yotch, perhaps Jon was kind of like a battered husband. Well I am changing my tune now.

As of late Jon has been see sucking down cocktails in the French Riviera on a yacht with girlfriend Hailey to discuss a clothing line with designer Christain Audigier. It has been reported that Jon is also now seeing tabloid reporter Kate Major. Oh the irony! Jon dating a tabloid reporter. That is like Tom Cruise dating a psychiatrist.

The real piece of comedic fodder here, is John’s recent trip to the Hamptons. Where people who talk with clenched teeth complain how hard it is to find a decent maid as they check their watches to be sure they don’t miss their tee off time at the Maidstone.

OK Magazine has the full story.

I guess Jon Goselin  has been hanging with Michael Lohan. So I guess he felt if he showed up at the Mercedes-Benz Polo Challenge in Bridgehampton, that he can jump into a conversation with someone and rub elbows with some of Hampton’s humdingers of elite. But after his fourth circle around the tent dressed in his J. Crew clothes (how gauche) and flip flops, the heckles and laughter began to ensue, and he hightailed it out of there.

Oh Jon, really? The Mercedes Polo challenge? Talk about being out of your league. Don’t you know if you put lipstick on a pig, it’s still a pig?

It seems Jon got a taste of stardom and is now tying to hob knob with the droll and snoity. Perhaps Jon should give the Hogans a call. They seem to be more Jon’s speed. Maybe he can date Brooke if he can get rid of rapper boyfriend “Stack$“. Shouldn’t  be too difficult…John can just dangle something shiny in front of him.That should do it. Then with Stack$ out of the way, Jon and Brooke can start a whole new reality show! Maybe call it “Jon and Brooke Chill In South Beach“. Then they can go up to the Hamptons and pick out a polo pony. Awwww. 

Gee I sure hope TLC doesn’t read this. I don’t want to give them any more stupid ideas. We have enough to contend with shows like Toddlers in Tiaras, What Not To Wearand that other show….. ummm what was it called again? *snicker*

July has been an agonizing month here on Planet Celebrity. So many deaths, so much weirdness — it’s all too much to digest. Thankfully we have the growing consistency of douchery from Jon Gosselin, absent father to eight young children, to help us find stable ground in which to catch our breath.

Just last week we discussed Jon’s recent foray into the single world, when he decided to risk what’s left of penis with 22-year old professional attention whore, Hailey Glassman. On the heels of that debacle, there comes allegations he’s been dipping into the tabloid cess-pool, and stepping out with a Star Magazine reporter, whose since quit her job due to “conflicts of interest.”

But none of that comes close to his recent gutter-dwelling move, which has Jon revealing to the entire world, which includes SICKOS and PERVERTS, that his wife may be hiding over $100,000 in the family home.

Holy breakins and home invasions! What the hell would possess a supposed caring and nurturing father to divulge this information (true or not) to the public at large? I may not have a degree in propulsion engineering, but I know a dumbass when I see one. A criminally negligent one at that!

Here’s the breakdown from the latest f-tard move from the “paternal” Gosselin, after a new report from Life and Style magazine. From Just Jared:

Since splitting from wife Kate, Jon’s been pretty open with his money. “Kate controlled the money for the longest time in their relationship,” a close friend of Jon’s tells Life & Style. “Now I don’t think he’s worried about money at all. He’s taking a bunch of us to Las Vegas at the end of August. It’s going to be wild!”

Jon is also convinced Kate is hiding major sums of cash from him — and he’s determined to find it. “Jon is sure Kate’s keeping money from him, more than a million dollars,” an insider reveals. “He thinks some of the money she’s made from her books and tours has been put someplace where he can’t access it. Jon says he found out Kate had been hiding about $100,000 in cash in the house…. It’s turned into an all-out war over money. Jon says Kate’s books and speaking engagements were based on their children and their relationship, so he rightfully deserves a cut.”

Um, no he doesn’t. There are a lot of things Jon deserves, (like a swift boot to the nards) but money from Kate’s books and her speaking engagements ISN’T one of them.

It’s painful to have to defend Kate Gosselin, because surely if anyone is a C U next Tuesday, it’s her, but when your douchery starts spilling over on to your kids, then that’s when it’s time to call a d-bag a d-bag.

Nothing like advertising your wife is hiding $100,000 in your family home to bring out the law-breakers. These days, people will bust your cap for the quarters in your ashtray, so it’s probably a good idea to keep your friggin’ mouth shut about where your money is, especially if you have 8 defenseless kids and rabid possum in your crib.

On a sidenote, Kate gets major props for keeping her piehole shut throughout this entire tabloid frenzy. You and I both know, Kate goes home, screams into her pillow and has sweaty, fretful dreams of kicking Jon’s silly ass 15 ways to Sunday when she reads this crap. Kate deserves a good lay and some cold Bartles and Jaymes for keeping it together recently!

Hell, even I dream of twisting Jon’s sack until it turns purple.

As if marrying the world’s angriest mother who dons rotting roadkill on her head wasn’t bad enough, he’s now traded in Kate for something, far, far worse. How is that even possible?

Most of you are probably painfully aware that Jon and Kate, of the popular TLC show, “Jon and Kate Plus 8″ have filed for divorce and are now living separate lives. Which, considering the level of bitterness and contempt these two have for each other, is clearly a good thing.

In a strange turn of events, Jon has gone from being the underdog in this story of love turned sour, to being universally despised. Despite having suffered endless ridicule and derision from Kate ranging to complaints he breathes to loudly, to being publicly dressed down for speaking up during interviews, Jon has turned a well-spring of sympathy into a chorus of eye-rolls, and tsk, tsks. Why you ask? See below:

This here is Jon’s new girlfriend, the 22-year old daughter of his wife’s plastic surgeon, Hailey Glassman, and yes, that is a mugshot. Extra CLASSY! Hailey, in her bid to become famous by hooking up with a “reality star” seems to have forgotten that the fame sword cuts both ways. Now reports have surfaced from ALL over the place about her twisted past, which includes arrests for drug possession to tales of drunken and out of control exploits. And of course, the requisite video of Hailey smoking pot has now popped up all over the internet.

Jon recently set up house in NYC, in a two-bedroom apartment, clearly not enough space to accommodate his 8 children. Then there were the photos and reports all over the tabs last week while he was in France with his new GF, supposedly in talks with Ed Hardy designer Christian Audigier about a children’s clothing line. WTF? Though reports differ about why exactly these two misfits were actually hanging out, one thing is for sure, Ed Hardy wear looks stupid on EVERYONE. More on the fracked-up match up from the LATimes:

Audigier agreed to fly Gosselin and someone named “Hailey” — described to them as his “stylist” and whom we can only guess is one and the same as current gal pal Hailey Glassman — to visit him in St. Tropez last week to talk it through.

“Christian thinks he’s a nice guy, and they both love motorcycles, so they hit it off,” the representative said. “That’s all there is to report. There isn’t anything beyond that at this time.”

In the meantime, we’re trying to digest the most recent rumors — that Jon Gosselin popped the question to Glassman on that very same trip to St. Tropez. If that turns out to be true, can you imagine a better made-for-reality-TV tableaux than Audigier as best man and the bride-to-be in an Ed Hardy wedding gown?

We hate to admit it, but even we’d tune in for that.

Cheese on Rice, how is Hailey Glassman a “stylist” and in what universe is Jon considered “stylish?” I am baffled as to how so many extraordinarily plain and boring people somehow become “celebrities” simply because they are foolish enough to allow the public into their private lives. I’ll take the fortune, you can keep the fame.

Needless to say, Kate is quite content to sit back and let Jon make a complete ass out of himself in his post-divorce mid-life crisis. Isn’t 32 a little young to be going through this whole cheesy phase? Whatever the case may be, according to Radar Online, Kate’s already designated a label for the new “lady” in Jon’s life, and as they so eloquently stated, it rhymes with “bore”.

For once, Kate and I agree on something.

Maria Shriver, wife of Arnold Schwarzenegger, who I have always referred to as Skeletor, is having her annual Women’s Conference in Long Beach Ca. this October.

She has asked John Travolta and Kelly Preston to attend the conference and participate in a panel entitled “Grief & Resilience”.  The panel will also include Elizabeth Edwards and Susan St. James, who’ve all lost teenage sons in tragic accidents. This is the first interview that Travolta and Preston have agreed todo since the death of their son this past December. It was recently reported that Travolta was too distraught to promote his latest movie, so perhaps this conference will help them come to terms with their son’s death a bit.

I am not going to get into my personal views which are shared by many about the death of their 16-year old son Jett. Let’s just say the circumstances surrounding his death are beyond questionable and it left many very important questions unanswered. Most especially, that their Scientology beliefs have a lot to do with unscientific unproven methods which they used in the treatment of Jett’s condition while he was alive and their stance on psychiatric drugs.

Some of the unanswered questions are, why would they hire two untrained men to care for their special needs son, why weren’t these two people questioned or interviewed yet, what was the reason they flew to the Bahamas to have a sixty person party when their son was having grand mal seizures, and why was there such a the quickie autopsy? There are many other unanswered questions surrounding their son’s death, but these are top on MY list.

Travolta did admit that his son was autistic in a police report, even though he previously said that his son had Kawasaki Syndrome. But according to the National Enquirer, this past June, he told the police his son was autistic:

 ”On Monday 29 December 2008 I travelled to Grand Bahama Island. I was accompanied by my wife Kelly Preston, my son Jett Travolta, my daughter Ella Travolta, Eli Wheaton, Jeff Kathrein and others. We stayed at town houses at Old Bahama bay, Grand Bahama. My son Jett suffered from a seizure disorder and he was autistic.

So perhaps someday, if Scientology loosens its death-like grip on its members, all these questions will be answered. Back in 2007, Travolta and Preston were also present at a fund raiser for Narconon Hawaii. Hawaii is Preston’s native home. Narconon is a front group of Scientology as well as and the CCHR (The Citizens Commission On Human Rights), which they both highly support. Sadly, there are many Scientology front groups in which unsuspecting people have given donations to, due to the fact that they had no idea that these groups had Scientology ties. Unfortunately cities and towns who have not done their homework have funded these front group’s programs and continue to fund them with their tax payer’s dollars!

Front groups such as Criminon, Drug Free Marshalls and Second Chance  have all received financial help from tax payer’s money.

Kirstey Alley and Kelly Preston on Right at Psychiatry Protest

The CCHR does not believe that mental illness is a disease and they believe that all aspects of psychiatry are evil and destructive. They are against psychiatric drugs, and launch huge campaigns against the two. But there are many more disturbing facts within this organization. The CCHR has a department called The Office of Special Affairs aka OSA, whose main job is to dig up dirt on critics and psychiatrists and pry into and expose their personal lives and they use illegal means to obtain the information. Their big enemies are psychiatrists, Scientology critics and of course all aspects of the media. They have a Fair Game policy, which is very much alive and in use today — and carried out ruthlessly. Many victims of Fair Game have been brought forward in court, and more will continue.
Scientology Founder L. Ron Hubbard wrote:

 ”A person may be deprived of property or injured by any means by any Scientologist without any discipline of the Scientologist. May be tricked, sued or lied to or destroyed” October 1967 Policy Letter (HCOPL 18 Oct 67 Issue IV, Penalties for Lower Conditions.

Scientology members believe that psychiatry is responsible for the holocaust. They actually have a traveling exhibit called Psychiatry Industry of Death. I kid you not. If you are in the California area, you can go visit the permanant exhibit there. But word of caution, don’t bring the kids. It is not the kind of exhibit you would want young children to see, with all their morbid displays and holocaust pictures. 

From Within The CCHR Exhibit.

Now this upcoming Women’s Conference interview with Travolta and Preston must have Scientology a tad nervous to say the least. Usually all questions are known before hand when it comes to any Scientologist agreeing to an interview. Scientology likes to keep a complete handle on what will be asked and what the answers will be. All as part of the control they have over their members ability to speak freely.

A snippet from the Associate Press said:

“Shriver said she will interview Preston as part of a panel on grief, along with Elizabeth Edwards and actress Susan Saint James, whose teenage sons were killed in accidents. The panel will be the only session not broadcast on the Internet.

“All three of them lost sons. All are at different stages of the grief,” Shriver said.

Although it is doubtful that Scientology will be discussed at all in their interview, I would think the fact that they are talking openly about their continued grief for their son would be a red flag to Scientology. Why? Because Scientology’s beliefs on human emotions, are far from what other people believe in. While most people, doctors, and psychiatrists would agree that grieving is necessary in order to help the healing process begin after a loved one has passed, Scientology looks at grieving as a weakness, and should be handled and audited out on their e-meter, which is nothing more than a lie detector. Cult followers have been convinced that this lie detector can audit out any problems you may have. You may ask how is this possible? Simple. IT’S NOT. But cult followers are willing to fork over hundreds of thousands of dollars for hours and hours of continual auditing simply because they were convinced that this “machine” is one of the answers to all their problems. 

Emeter AKA "The Cans"

So what are Scientology’s views on death? Scientology believes that a person only ”drops their meat body”, and that a person can come back in many different lives several times.  (A little something that Hubbard stole from Buddhism). Scientology has never made a big deal of death, and tries to suppress the normal emotions associated with it. I would imagine that Scientology sent “handlers” to Travolta and Preston right after Jett’s death, to try to keep the PR at a minimum, and to curtail their grief as much as possible. Grieving is a normal emotion and greatly needed (to a certain extent) in order to get on with your life after a tragedy. But grieving to Scientology is a big no-no. Why?

But wait, there’s more…

I watched this video of Kate Gosselin and crew (courtesy of my blogcrush, Michael K at Dlisted.com) and I just can’t believe what C you next Tuesday Kate is to her kids. Hate on your husband if you want, but if your kid needs some water, give the kid some damn water. And WTF is with her drinking it right in front of her daughter and refusing the child some H2O? I just can’t understand how the hell people can watch this woman and think she’s some kind of hero to mothers of the world.

Kate is a straight up, relentless biznatch who should be publicly ridiculed and berated for her inability to show love and nurturing to her cash cow brood. Kate, you suck douchenozzles.