Joss Stone And Nelly? Nelly, Please Back Away Slowly Before You Catch Something
Joss Stone is not top on my list of musicians. She seems quite contrived, she tries too hard, she’s not Janis Joplin and last, but not least, she apparently uses her feminine wiles in exchange for hit songs. So right off the bat, she gets a thumbs down and a wet raspberry from me. So it was with great sadness I heard that hotass mo, rapper Nelly is dating this “alleged” musical depository.
See Nelly and I have a special relationship. He writes hip-hop/rap music that a rhythm-less white person like myself can enjoy and appreciate, he takes his shirt off for gratuitous shots of his most sexy bod and in general, he seems like a really nice sort of guy. Nelly’s sister, Jackie died of leukemia in 2005, despite Nelly’s greatest efforts to find bone marrow donors to save her life through a foundation he set up, “Jes Us For Jackie“. Nelly and sister were close and her death hit him really hard.
Perhaps in his extended grief, he has lost his mind, because according to HolyMoly (via Dlisted), Nelly has been dating Joss Stone.
Here’s more from HolyMoly!:
Soul singer Joss, affectionally known to some as, ‘will f*ck for tracks’ Stone, is reportedly dating rapper Nelly. Joss, who was recently rumoured to have offered more than just her voice to producer Mark Ronson, (which he later denied) has apparently been on a number of dates with the man responsible for ‘Hot in Herre.’
Joss had previously joked (although she doesn’t look like she has much of a sense of humour) that she may become a lesbian because of the trouble she was having finding a man. But surely a woman would find her just as annoying.
Joss had said:
“Every girl my age wants to be in a relationship. I haven’t had one in two years. I think I’ll have to turn lesbian.”
But that was before Nelly came along, the lucky sod. A source said:
“Joss and Nelly have been out on a few dates together. It’s early days but we haven’t seen Joss this happy in quite a long time. It’s great she has met someone as successful as she is and who understands the pressures being a performer can put on your life.”
And also the pressure of not being as successful as you once were.
The source continued:
“And it helps that he is hot too - he is just her type.”
Well, he is in the music industry after all…
Look, anyone with the skillz to make her not look like a grasping for straws attention-ho she is, is her type. If she wants to bump nasties with Mark Ronson, Justin Timberlake and Tiny Tim, hey it’s all good, but back away from the Nelly little Miss Skanky-pants, I called dibs. And here’s a little something to savor, including some Tim McGraw for k 
Sidenote: I wonder if Mark Ronson was referring to another soul singer named AMY WINEHOUSE. Although I would think he would have said “twitchy, crack-weaved cracksinger” instead of “boring, bland soul chick”. Those two did have a bit of a falling out over the Bond theme song a while back. And Amy’s known for falling down on penises other than her Blaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkeeeeeeee!
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