Can you imagine two more insufferable jackasses than Lindsay Lohan and Jude Law? Oh yeah, I suppose Paris Hilton and Gene Simmons, or Russell Crowe and Courtney Love? Perhaps even my racist Uncle Lou and his homophobe wife Judy. But that’s pretty much it.

Yep, two sluts like Jude Law and Lindsay Lohan shouldn’t be allowed to even share the same air, let alone swapping DNA, but alas, my idea of world peace and tranquility is not shared by the chaotic theory of hook-ups that is Hollywood.

Page Six reports that while Lindsay was in NYC this past weekend “she called Jude at 1 in the morning and met him at The Box, and the next night she joined he and his pals Sean Penn and Tim Robbins at The Box again.” A witness observed them “adoring each other’s company.” Lindsay’s rep Leslie Zelnick had no comment, and Law’s rep Simon Hall said, “We don’t comment on our client’s personal life.”

So is The Box some kind of euphemism for Lindsay’s vagina? Because I have to tell you, that’s not even subtle. I mean she might as well have called him and said “Hey Jude my vagina has a vacancy at approximately 1 am and I can fit you in. I can also fit in the LA Lakers, the Dallas Cowboys and the entire cast of Grey’s Anatomy, but the fire department said I would exceed my maxium occupancy and they’d have to shut ‘er down. Can I pencil you in?”

And would any of that deter Jude? Hells no, he’s slept with Sienna Miller and let’s face it, there are turnpikes with less mileage.

While I try really, REALLY hard to hide my disdain for certain celebrities, I just have to say that I hope the STD that emerges from this unholy union is enough to disintegrate their genitalia leaving them with burnt craters in their nether regions.

For images of Lindsay and Jude’s box and peeper pre-explosion click over. But prepare to laugh until you cry.