GlossLip, Celebrity Gossip From Our Lips To Yours

12/19/2008 (10:50 am)

The Movie Machine Continues To Ruin “My Fair Lady”

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It isn’t enough that the very idea of remaking the classic movie musical My Fair Lady wasn’t laughed out of the room when it was suggested.  They weren’t content to have Kiera Knightley star as Eliza Doolittle, when the only thing she brings to the part is Audrey Hepburn’s willowy figure.  Nope…now they’re looking to possibly cast Worst Bond Girl Daniel Craig as ‘enry ‘iggins:

Daniel Craig is top of a list of actors being considered to follow Rex Harrison as Professor Henry Higgins in a new big screen version of My Fair Lady, which will star Keira Knightley as Eliza Doolittle.

No approach has been made, and certainly no decision will be reached about the identity of exactly who will play Higgins until a director has been hired. But Craig is highly favoured.

Theatre-trained Craig will have no trouble learning how to carry a tune.

I mean, he took very well to running across rooftops in Casino Royale, and he’s dashingly rugged in the forthcoming World War II movie drama, Defiance.

All very handy playing an elocution expert.

‘Seriously, though, he’s a real man and you’ll be able to believe that he really cares for Eliza,’ a friend, intimate to the thinking of the film’s producers Cameron Mackintosh and Duncan Kenworthy, told me.

Oh please.  Spare me.

Why does the Movie Machine feel like they have to ruin every good classic movie ever made?  Seriously.  They obviously can’t think up new ideas any more so they have to resort to pathetic remakes of classics with actors who aren’t anywhere near the caliber of the originals.  Truly disgusting.  My daughter had a fit when she heard “that stupid girl from the pirate movies” was going to play her favorite Cockney flower girl.  Even my son thought it was bad casting, and if you get that from a teenage boy then you’re making a mistake somewhere.

I mean, some remakes are okay, even improvements on the originals.  But a classic like My Fair Lady?  Why mess with it?

While they’re at it, why not just remake The Sound Of Music with Angelina Jolie as Maria and Brad Pitt as Captain Georg von Trapp?  It sounds as plausible as any of the other asinine ideas coming out of the movie studios.  Plus, they come with an almost pre-assembled child cast.

Posted by k
Filed under: Big Sloppy Mess, Keira Knightley, Movies, You Can't Fix Stupid, epic fail

09/26/2008 (10:11 am)

Johnny Depp Wants To Play Cowboys And Indians…And Mad Hatters And Pirates, Too

Johnny Depp is going to be one busy, busy guy for the next few years, and he’s going to have to make more room on his shelf for all the hats (no pun intended) he’s going to have to wear.  News is that he’s signed on to play both Tonto and the Mad Hatter in two Disney films:

Stepping into the iconic role of the Mad Hatter, Depp joins previously announced 18-year-old newcomer Mia Wasikowska, who has been chosen to play Alice. The 3-D “Alice in Wonderland” will reunite one of the most successful director-actor duos of the last few decades for the seventh time; Depp has previously collaborated with Burton on everything from “Edward Scissorhands” to “Sweeney Todd.”

[...] Depp will hit the screen opposite an unnamed kemo sabe for a 21st century re-imagining of “The Lone Ranger,” as previously announced by super-producer Bruckheimer. For a brief period of time, some news outlets believed that Depp would be playing the heroic cowboy — but this morning, the actor’s reps insisted that he’d been cast as the Ranger’s long-suffering, fiercely loyal Native American sidekick, Tonto. Depp, who has said in interviews that he has some Cherokee and Navajo in his blood, previously portrayed an American Indian in the 1997 film “The Brave.”

Plus, as announced Thursday morning, he will reprise his famous (and possibly his favorite) role as Captain Jack Sparrow in the popular Pirates franchise:

According to “Variety,” Depp has signed on for a fourth “Pirates of the Caribbean” film, returning to the franchise that has earned a combined $2.6 billion at the box office. Although he previously hinted that he’d be open to setting sail again in his most iconic role, it is largely believed that it will be a solo journey, as “Pirates” co-stars [Orlando] Bloom and Keira Knightley have insisted they’re finished with the franchise. Last year’s “At World’s End” concluded with Sparrow setting sail for the Fountain of Youth, likely hinting at the adventure soon to come.

Ah, too big for their britches now, are they?  Now that they’ve got a taste of celebrity, they want to move on from the vehicle that made them famous?  Too good to make another little pirate movie now?  Oh well, let ‘em go.  Neither Orlando nor Keira will ever be as big as Johnny Depp, mainly because they aren’t as nice.  They also don’t realize that you dance with the one who brung ya.

Johnny doesn’t need the money that Captain Jack Sparrow can bring in and he’s got more fame than you can shake a cutlass at.  He does it because he loves the role, plain and simple.  Isn’t that one of the best things a person can accomplish…find something they love and can afford to keep doing?

Posted by k
Filed under: Disney Machine, Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Movies, Orlando Bloom

06/06/2008 (2:17 pm)

Keira Knightley To Remake “My Fair Lady”? G’aaawwwn!

Is nothing sacred? Keira Knightley is reportedly in talks to redo the Lerner and Lowe classic musical My Fair Lady:

Keira Knightley is in talks to follow in the footsteps of Audrey Hepburn and star in a remake of My Fair Lady. The 23-year-old will star as Eliza Doolittle, the humble cockney flower girl who makes good in Edwardian high society.

Producers will keep the story rooted in 1912 London and are in talks with actors to star opposite Knightley as Doolittle’s upper-crust tutor, Henry Higgins. [...]

Now I have unequivocal proof that Hollywood has indeed run out of ideas.

I mean, I realize that My Fair Lady is just a retelling of George Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion, and that ol’ George swiped the basis of his story from Greek mythology, and who knows where those crazy Greeks got the story from. Plus, there’s been about a bazillion other movies, plays, and television shows loosely based on the general story, such as Trading Places, Pretty Woman, and She’s All That.

But we aren’t talking about a general retelling of the story using different settings and different characters…we’re talking about an entire remake of My Fair Lady! Sacrilege! Heresy! Blasphemy! Look, Keira, I’m sure you make a lovely pirate and all, but come on. You’ve already butchered Pride and Prejudice (everybody knows the A&E miniseries was the best and truest adaptation ever) and now you’re wanting to tackle a beloved movie classic?

Why can’t Hollywood just leave the classics alone? Can’t people simply appreciate greatness? Must they try to ingest it and vomit it back up?

Well I’m dashed!

Posted by k
Filed under: Keira Knightley, Movies, Sacrilege