While we’ve all been distracted with the drama surrounding Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan took the opportunity to break her new found sobriety with some swigs of champagne — straight from the bottle. Classy!

Video has emerged of little Lilo in Italy sucking down some booze on New Year’s Eve, despite two visits to rehab in 2007, and one for an extended stay after her second DUI and cocaine possession.

According to the report, Lindsay called her “sober coach” and got “back on track.” That’s great and I wish her well, but surely this can’t bode well for her on-going legal issues. Isn’t she on probation for her two previous DUI’s and drug charges?

When you think about this whole situation it’s really quite sad. Clearly Lindsay suffers from a strong and debilitating addiction. Why else would she put herself, her freedom and career in such jeopardy for a couple of swigs of alcohol.

You can even see it briefly on her face in the video above. A brief realization sweeps across her face, almost a flash of shame, or at least an acknowledgment of her poor choice.

All this happened at the same time she was being criticized for behaving like a wanton slut, hooking up with three different men (though apparently only sleeping with one).

It’s quite obvious Lindsay has not completely won her battle with her demons and 2008 will hold struggles for her also.

Man, these girls are just too stubborn to learn. Although in Lindsay’s case, she at least has the excuse of being young — but even that won’t last forever.

I can not express how disappointed, yet in awe, I am of Lindsay Lohan.

It is not easy finding nice things to say about her. Yet, I dug deep, deep, deep within my greatest reserves of goodwill and largess and said she had “talent” and was far less useless than say a whore like Paris Hilton, or that crazy loon Britney Spears. This was a real gesture of my own magnanimity, and how does this trollop repay me? By making ME look like an ass.

Yes, it is all about me.

Anyway, Lindsay was in Italy over the weekend to accept some kind of made-up award at the Capri Film Festival. She was joined by that little cheerleader from Heroes Hayden Pantyhose and while there, it seems Lindsay found herself some hot Italian sausages.

Now before I go any further, I have to share some insider information with you. Italian men (men from Italy) will hump a dead cat. No really, that’s how they roll. They are testosterone laden freaks who harass women on the street in packs or as individuals. Old Italian men, or little Italian boys — they are all the same, driven to sex up anything female. That said, I like Italian men and their indiscriminate need to try and mate with anyone. To them, Lindsay must have seemed like some kind of goddess from the land of horny sluts, open to their salacious advances and turning none away, regardless of inappropriate levels of body hair or stomach fat.

Ok, back to the story. Lindsay hooked up (or at least kissed) Italian waiter Alessandro Di Nunzio on Friday night, an then on Saturday actor Eduardo Costa, an older gentlemen whom she flirted and kissed, only to move on to Dario Faiella, yet another actor. She must have found what she was looking for in Faiella, as he got the grand prize. And likely, an STD.

Lindsay is pictured above with Faiella in what appears to be an awkward and most likely embarrassing post-coitus moment.

There are other rumors Lindsay spent somewhere near $700 on liquor over the weekend, and well, that may explain her amorous endeavors.

I am not sure whether to chastise her, or give her high fives for single-handedly redefining the feminist movement. I think a compromise is in order.

WooHoo Lindsay, way to go, you brazen, cheap harlot!!!! SLUT. IT. UP!!!

With 2008 just around the corner, we must find an appropriate way to wrap up 2007’s top celeb stories. Oh boy, and what a year it was. 2007, or “The Year of the Dimwitted Bimbos” as I like to call it, saw the death of one icon, and the re/afterbirth of another icon.

In between Anna Nicole Smith’s death and Britney Spears mental disintegrate we have Paris Hilton going to jail, Lindsay Lohan crashing and burning with dual attempts at rehab, several celeb DUI’s and of course, to round out the year in celebrity nonsensical behavior, we have Britney Spears kid sister Jamie Lynn Spears announcing she is not only pregnant at 16, but she’s keeping her baby!

Papa don’t preach, because that’s my job.

Join Confessions of a Fanboy’s Josh Hathaway, and with any luck, Blogcritics Eric Olsen as we assail, discuss this year’s top celeb stories!

There’s a very good reason celebs don’t, and more IMPORTANTLY, shouldn’t date non-famous people. Especially non-famous, immature, thumb-sucking douchebags with dumb names like Riley Giles: non-famous people have nothing to lose and will they sell you out.

Lindsay Lohan has been absent from the hallowed pages of Glosslip lately. My strict personal code of ethics forces me to leave out otherwise likely celeb candidates from my sardonic wit while they seek to recover from their addictive antics, but in this case, since I am defending the honor of our little Lindsay, it’s ok.

Lindsay’s rehab boyfriend (sort of like a rebound boyfriend, but lamer) Riley Giles has wasted no time in making a quick buck by selling, not just his tawdry story of Lindsay’s “sexual” addiction, but also personal photos he took while they dated.

The two met while Lindsay sought treatment at rehab facility Cirque Lodge in Utah. Riley was there seeking treatment for drug addiction, and Lindsay entered the program after her much publicized arrest for DUI, and possession of cocaine in July. This was Lindsay’s second arrest in less than two months and her situation was becoming very grim.

Riley, showing vasts amounts of class and personal decorum, sold his story to News Of The World, wherein he described Lindsay trading her drug and alcohol addiction for a sex addiction. In reality it sounded more like a pathetic junior high turd bragging to his friends about his manhood, when in reality he probably failed to maintain an erection and finished the race too early. If you must read second-rate fiction, his cheesy story is here.

Now it seems, Riley wants to cash in on some photos he took while they dated (for like 1 whole month, WOW!), and as he crosses his fingers hoping Lindsay doesn’t sue his gutter-dwelling ass, Riley gets to enjoy his extended and undeserved 15 minutes of fame.

Let this be a lesson to you celebs, don’t date commoners. Commoners aren’t mentally equipped to handle fame and will sell you out 9 out of 10 times. See, they have nothing to lose, whereas you famous person, do. You have your reputation, your fragile and precarious privacy and ultimately your dignity.

Lindsay, one last pear of wisdom I wish to bestow on you. Unlike many of your peers, you my dear, possess some actual talent. You do not have to cave into your low-self esteem and mistreat your body, mind and soul to find the love and elation you desperately seek. Refocus yourself, and apply your boundless passion for shopping (and maybe sex) to be the best at your craft.

Also, please don’t ever flash your firecrotch again. It makes it difficult to defend you, and honestly, that job is difficult enough.

You’d think that Lindsay would be grabbing her little sister Ali and running away from Dina as fast as she possibly can.  But in little sis Ali, we see that Dina has learned from her mistakes…the mistake being not turning her daughters into sex symbols at an early, early age, as opposed to just an early age.  You want to get those old men drooling over your daughters as soon as possible.

So here is Lindsay, age 13:

And here is Ali, at almost 14:

I’m just sayin’.  It kind of writes itself, doesn’t it?  I simply post the pictures.

 

In the latest educated statement from the Queen of Disassociated Reality, Dina Lohan just can’t understand why her daughter needed to go to rehab after her arrest earlier this year, while college students busted for DUI aren’t going to rehab as well:

Having just moved out of her conspicuous West Hollywood condo (where her neighbors included Cher, Elton John and Joan Collins), and into the Beverly Hills Hotel, little Ms. [Lindsay] Lohan is, as her mother put it, “amazing! She’s such a normal girl. Stupid! [She] got behind the wheel, got a D.U.I., stupid! But Lindsay’s not, like, they blew it out of complete proportion. [She] had to go to three rehabs! Like, if you’re in college and you get a D.U.I., you don’t go to rehab. It’s just ridiculous!”

Why didn’t I think of that?  I can totally see her point.  Stupid college students, studying to become doctors and psychiatrists and scientists and teachers, they have no idea what the world is really like.  Of course, perhaps Lindsay wouldn’t have needed her last stint in rehab had the aptly-named Promises and Wonderland centers delivered the goods, instead of turning into thirty-day vacations and spa retreats, but after all, I’m sure Lindsay needed a break from all that work she was putting into clubbing and partying.  (And, of course, Promises did such wonders for Britney, I don’t know why in the world both girls had relapses.)

It isn’t like anyone forced Lindsay to enter rehab at any point, she did so on her own, but I’m sure it was a nice breather for her.  Maybe it took three rehabs to get her to that truly relaxed state…you know, the one you get into when you stop pumping your body full of toxins and illegal substances, washing them down with fermented beverages, and start living a healthy life instead.

But wait, there’s more…

 

Monkey see, monkey do.  Brit got her lips did, and now Lindsay is the latest celeb to jump on the lip enhancement bandwagon.

She is seen here leaving Il Sole last night, showing off both her spectacular case of trout pout and her Day-Glo orange Press-On Tan.  What do you think?  It seems to be very orangey right above her newly enhanced Cupid’s Bow…not a good look on anyone, much less an attractive girl like Lindsay.  I wish she’d let her hair go back dark, too.

In other Lindsay news, she is no longer hosting the New Year’s party at Pure in Las Vegas.  The company seems determined to have her host something at some point, however:

…it appears the club plan to force Lohan to honour her contract, as PURE said “they will both wait for a day” when she can host an event for the company, perhaps even “another year from now.”

Maybe she could host a Bait and Tackle show. 

She seems determined to hold on to her sobriety.  Good for her…she seems to be really making an effort.  Now, if we could just keep her away from the oranges…

In related news, I’m going to start calling this guy K-Giles.  Or R-Fed.  I haven’t decided yet. 

UPDATE:  I think I’m going with R-Fed.  Whaddya think?

Ohhh…it’s gettin’ good now.  I’m not even kidding.

Lindsay Lohan’s new guy, Riley Giles, and his ex-girlfriend, Bree Tierney, are slinging the poo at each other on MySpace, and it ain’t pretty.  Apparently they both are accusing each other of leaking secrets to the media, of lies and counter-lies and counter-counter-lies and possibly even a few dining-room-table-lies.  And it’s all on MySpace, the high school prom of the internets.

Here’s a selection from one of the more scintillating discussions:

From: Riley

Date: 17/10/2007

peoples chasin you down? you serious? nobody knew about u until u ran to the media! our engagement was NEVER official, just somethin we talked about, idk wut to do im just so mad over this whole situation, was that you spreadin my mugshot all ovea the internet as well? REALLY low. u WERE my rock. i thought things were gonna change but u had to go and ruin it, im not starstruck by anyomne, you just dont get it AT all. karam DOES suck, i just dont get why your talkin to everyone, its no ones business but OURS. we needa have a chat, SERIOUSLY 1 on 1, god knows who ur gonna sell this f****n message to

From: breezkie

Date: Oct 17, 2007 11:02 PM

i didnt run my mouth they found me! they knew about nicole and everything i dont know how theyed get her name. our names are repoted as our last address and they knew who i was so they came to me to find me like 5 diff mags i have a lawyer now cause of all this shit theyre attackin me holmes. i agree we need to have a 1 on 1 talk, yah know some closure r whatever. it can be totally private i wont let any one know. same would have to go for you though! You down?

Fascinating.  It’s like a James Bond story, all mystery and intrigue and villans and sex.  I’m jsut waiting for the super-fantastical fight scene, with all sorts of special effects and stuff blowing up and stuff.  Riley seems like the type who would like that.  Oh yeah, and his ex and his current in bikinis, with flamethrowers.  You know he’s waiting for that!  And don’t you love how they’re all urban?  That’s becasue lily-white people in Utah are all yo up in da hood ya no holmes.  (yeah, well that stunk, probably because I’m lily white too)  If you were trying to make yourself look more moronic, you succeeded. Yay for you!

I tried reading it on MySpace, but Bree has set hers to private and Riley has removed his blog.  Basically, if you read through the comments, most of the guys are just happy that he’s banging “freckle t*ts”, a few of them are saying that it is either Bree or Riley’s friends who are leaking secrets to the media, and some of them seem to be lost.

This can’t turn out well.  You know, I really want Lindsay to succeed, but I have a feeling she’s going to have to dump this loser to do it.  And I have a question….do these people not realize that MySpace is pretty much public?  It isn’t like private email!  Um, HELLO?

So, basically, somebody is lying.  Bree, Riley, Lindsay, The National Enquirer, someone.  Somebody isn’t telling the whole truth here, and I won’t rest until I find out who…….wait, are those chocolate chip cookies?

(thanks to Michael at dlisted, who would never sell my MySpace chats)

Lindsay, bless her little sober-living heart, can still work the “hooker chic” like nobody’s business. She is wearing those boots like a ten-cent whore and she looks AWESOME. And by awesome I mean, rested, totally sober, still deeply insecure and desperately seeking the approval of men. Which may explain why she chose to hook-up with drug addict snowboarder Riley Van Giles, who just so happened to have a fiancee.

Well, at least that’s what a woman named Breanna Tierney is telling the National Enquirer.

The 21-year-old star — who checked into the Cirque Lodge facility in late July after being arrested for DUI and cocaine possession — began a steamy affair with fellow patient Riley, charges Breanna.

“Riley went into rehab to get his life together and in the process meets Lindsay and ruins my life…”I loved Riley and Lindsay stole him. I met her at a meeting while they were still patients at Cirque, and I just knew something was up.

“She came into the meeting with Riley, and she comes over and sits next to me, being overly nice. She was complimenting me on my hair and trying to be my friend. It didn’t seem sincere at all.

“A few days later, I get a text message from Riley telling me he wanted to ‘take a break.’ I knew instantly it was because of Lindsay.”

Breanna, 22, goes on to say she had been there for Riley as he struggled with addiction as well as a string of arrests for various felonies including; possession of a controlled substance by misrepresentation, fraud, DUI, and prescription forgery. Bree also states that Riley proposed to her three years ago, but unfortunately it didn’t count because he gave her a cheap-ass cubic zirconium engagement ring. From her harrowing tale:

“I’ve stuck by Riley through the good and the bad. We lived together for three years and planned on being together forever. But when he finally confessed to me that he had sex with Lindsay in one of the stairwells at Cirque — that was it, we were done.

Lindsay has no morals and needs some serious help — besides drug rehab — for all her other problems.”

Besides his drinking and drugging, Breanna had overlooked other signs that her “Mr. Right” was “Mr. Wrong.” She was stunned to discover Riley had given her a fake diamond engagement ring. “I went to get it repaired because some of the diamonds fell out,” she recalled. “I wanted to scream when the jeweler told me the stones were cheap cubic zirconias.”

Breanna with Riley, the fake engagement ring giver

If you ask me, Breanna should send Lindsay a “thank you” note and wash her hands of the matter and move on. Any POC guy who gives you a fake diamond ring is NOT worth fighting over and should be kicked to curb unceremoniously.

And honestly do you really want some guy whose been with Lilo? That’s damaged goods, that is.

Is Lindsay’s taste in men still as questionable after rehab as it was before?  Don’t they have a twelve-step program to help you deal with how not to break up other’s relationships?  I don’t know, but reports have surfaced that Lindsay’s new man, Riley Giles, just might be a two-timing douchebag:

Lindsay Lohan may be done with drugs and drink, but she’s sure not done with scandal! Us Magazine is reporting that Lindsay’s not-so-secret rehab boyfriend Riley Giles left his fiancee for the embattled actress - and even made the poor girl find out about it via the tabloids! “Riley just stopped calling Bree [Tierney, Giles' former fiancee] and never told her about Lindsay,” the magazine quotes the fiancee’s mom as saying. “She found out by seeing photos. It destroyed her.”

But then again, it might just be a woman scorned:

“We started out as friends,” explains Lindsay, who sat down for an exclusive interview with In Touch in Utah. “We met about two months ago while doing activities at Cirque. We both enjoyed rock climbing,” she says. Their romance started slowly, says Lindsay, 21. “We waited until we were both out of treatment because it made more sense.”

Riley, 25, a professional snowboarder who is remaining in Utah, had been dating a girl named Bree Tierney when he met Lindsay, but he denies that Lindsay caused their split. “I broke up with Bree a week before I started dating Lindsay,” he told In Touch. “We had dated for almost two years, but it’s not like we were engaged or anything.”

Of course, to most women, if you’ve been dating for two years, she’s already got the lavish wedding planned out, her ovulation charted for the next ten years to space out the kids, which job you’re going to grow old prematurely at, which house you’re going to grow distant from each other in, and which minivan you’ll be buying shortly after you get back from the honeymoon.

But who knows…maybe he did give his former flame the impression that they would someday get hitched.  It wouldn’t be the first time a man said something to a girl that he didn’t quite mean (but maybe meant at the time, when the blood wasn’t flowing to his brain).  And maybe they were offically engaged.  At this point, it’s speculation.

I just hope that Lindsay isn’t basing too much of her recovery on this relationship.  If it doesn’t last (and my money is on about five months from………………………..now), I hope that she’s strong enough to keep her rehabilitation going and herself clean and sober.  There’s a reason why they tell you not to get into a relationship for a year after completing rehab.

Personally, I don’t like his shoes.  I’ve never liked that floppy, untied, skater shoe look.