Nick Bollea (I’m not going to call him Nick Hogan in this article, since that isn’t his real name) was in court today and the judge handed down sentencing:

Nick Hogan threw himself at the mercy of the judge today in Clearwater, FL in his felony reckless driving case — and he got just a lil’ bit. Hogan was sentenced to eight months in jail, five years’ probation and 500 hours community service, and the judge yanked his license for three years.

The judge also said no drinking for three years…and he also pointed out that not only is Nick underage but he will still be so once the three years is up.  He is also to spend one full day in “some positive framework” every month.  Not quite sure what that means, but it can’t be a bad thing.

But wait, there’s more…

Was it as far back as January that the infamous Crack Amy video was released?  It seems that the authorities in the UK have been laboriously poring over the footage since then, desperately searching for any clues which might show that Amy was doing drugs, and they found enough tenuous evidence to bring her in on charges.  She had an appointment at a police station where she was arrested:

The arrest is a result of a video of the 24-yearold star that became public in January.

In the 19-minute film she is seen smoking crack cocaine and talking about taking Valium while appearing dazed and disorientated.

The star was originally questioned under caution in February and was due to return for further interview in June.

That date was then brought forward and she was asked to go to Limehouse police station in East London yesterday.

This is the latest in a series of incidents between Miss Winehouse and the police.

The Grammy Award winner went voluntarily to Holborn police station just ten days ago to answer charges of common assault.

She was arrested for allegedly attacking a man while on a drunken night out in Camden.

So let’s see…in the past ten days, she’s been arrested twice, once for assault and once for Class A drugs, and they let her out on bail?  While in the meantime her husband rots away in jail (where he’s been since November) for beating up a guy who was going to testify against him and then trying to pay him off?  He’s a notorious druggie and they didn’t even bust him on drugs charges!

The nineteen-minute vid, which showed Amy Winehouse lighting up and talking about drugs, was on a memory stick on which there had been a deleted video of Peaches Geldof buying drugs.  Police were able to use a program to recover the deleted information.  (Welcome to the twentieth century, guys…I’ve used a program that I found for free which does the same thing.)

The police released her on bail and she was out again last night, with the beehive on and a scarf with a “Blake” pin attached to it wrapped around her head.  Of course, it was just a couple of days ago that she had that same scarf wrapped around her breasts in a makeshift bikini top.  But hey, what’s a little  boob sweat between friends?  She was talking to the paps and discussing getting a new tattoo.  Because that’s just what she needs…more body ink.  I say this time she gets a tramp stamp with an arrow that says, “If found, please return to owner.”

It remains to be seen whether they can make these charges against Amy stick.  You know, since they have such a lack of real evidence that she even does drugs.  I’ll bet this all turns out to be a big misunderstanding…she drank too much Mountain Dew, she was on a sugar rush and caffeine high, they’ll all have a big laugh about it, and everyone will walk away happy.

Oh wait, that was a different serial philanderer and liar.  My bad…they all run together after a while.

Roger Clemens is steadfastly denying that not only did he not take steroids and performance-enhancing drugs:

“I know that many people want to know what I have to say about the recent articles in the media,” Clemens, who has raised his four children with his wife, Debbie, in the Katy and Memorial areas, said in a statement to the Houston Chronicle. “Even though these articles contain many false accusations and mistakes, I need to say that I have made mistakes in my personal life for which I am sorry. I have apologized to my family and apologize to my fans. Like everyone, I have flaws. I have sometimes made choices which have not been right.”

While not admitting to any specific mistakes, Clemens did remain adamant that he never used steroids or HGH. He has been fighting to clear his name since Dec. 13, when he was implicated in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in the report former Sen. George Mitchell prepared for Major League Baseball.

“I believe my personal life has nothing to do with the accusations of steroid and HGH use,” he said in the statement. “I have already made clear that I did not use them.”

…but that he also did not have an improper relationship with country singer Mindy McCready:

“Now, I have been accused of having an improper relationship with a 15-year-old girl. Nothing could be further from the truth. This relationship has been twisted and distorted far beyond reality. It is just one of many, many accusations that are utterly false.”

McCready, however, told the Daily News that she “cannot refute anything in the story” about her relationship with Clemens.

…along with other (admittedly legal) women:

The Daily News also reported that Clemens had extramarital relationships with two other women, including the former wife of pro golfer John Daly.

Clemens is adamant that he won’t confess just so the scrutiny will go away.

“I realize that many people want me to simply confess and apologize for the conduct that I have been accused of, but I cannot confess to, nor apologize for, things I did not do,” he said. “I have apologized to my family for my mistakes. And having offered this apology to the public, I would ask that you let me and my family deal with these matters in private.”

Like I said before, had he just kept both his big mouth shut and his Rocket in his pants, this story about Mindy McCready might not have ever hit the press.  It seems that if she would have wanted to publicize it, she would have done so by now, and outside of one statement to the press when the story broke she has remained silent on the subject.  But because he filed a defamation of character suit against his former trainer, it all came out, and Roger has only himself to blame for it.  Yes, it might have come out anyway, but he could have then apologized and at least not looked like a lying hypocrite (yeah, as if he would have the humility to apologize).

Yes, we all make mistakes, and yes, we all have things in our pasts that we are embarrassed about and ashamed of.  But if you’re in the public eye, you need to make double sure that you’re not presenting yourself to the world as one thing, when you’re really another, because you will be found out.  Millions of dollars, a possible stint in the pokey, and his family are at stake, all because Roger Clemens is too arrogant to realize just what is going on.

I’m starting to think that if I ever wanted to do something like hoover up a line of coke or go all crazazy on somebody, I’d need to move to London to do it, because they seem to be pretty lenient on stuff like that over there.  Witness Amy Winehouse, fresh off a night in jail, who was let go after the face-punching/headbutting incident with a frowny look and a stern finger-waggle:

Winehouse was questioned about a street brawl in which she allegedly attacked two men in the early hours of Wednesday.

But when she originally arrived at the station, such was her state that a doctor deemed her “unfit to be interviewed”.

Her spokeswoman said today: “Amy Winehouse was questioned this morning at a London police station in connection to an incident in Camden in the early hours of April 23, 2008.

“She admitted to a common assault by slapping a man with an open hand and accepted a caution.

“Amy was fully co-operative with inquiries and apologised for the incident.

“She thanked the police for their professional handling of the matter. There will be no further action taken.

“Amy is looking forward to continuing her work on new music in the studio.”

“Unfit to be interviewed”?  What they probably meant was she was stoned off her face and had to have some time to detox that stuff out of her system a bit.

But on the news that husband Blake Incarcerated-Druggie has a new blonde woman in his life, Amy herself has picked up a new man:

Janis Winehouse told the Sunday Mirror: “I’d spoken to Alex [Haynes] a couple of times over the phone, but this was the first time I’d actually met him.

“He’s a lovely boy - gentle and sweet. He really looked after Amy popping out to buy cigarettes, papers, anything she wanted.

“He works for her manager so their relationship was professional to begin with but if they’ve made something of it, I’m thrilled.

“Blake has sent her down the wrong path - drugs and self-harm. She needs a man she can depend on, who can look after her.

“I’m praying Alex is that man.”

Oh…one of her family members finally emerges from the shadows to speak?

Look, I like Amy as much as the next person, but I also realize that no man is going to help Amy.  If Amy wants to be drug-free and clean, then Amy has to make that decision for herself.  Yes, having supportive people around you does help (isn’t that what one’s family is supposed to do?), but ultimately you have to make the decision to be clean because you want to be clean…just like you made the decision to take drugs in the first place.  I’ve no doubt Blake was a negative influence on Amy, but she’s the one who made the decision.

Oh well.  It’s always been Amy’s dad who has had to step forward and take charge.  He may have made mistakes in his life, but at least he has made attempts to help her (and I hope he is doing so now behind the scenes).  Her mom has usually sat in the background, wringing her hands and making pithy statements while Mitch has stepped in and done something:

Little wonder her father, Mitch, who remains devoted to his daughter but increasingly frustrated, is said to be “at the end of his tether”.

Together with some of her older, loyal friends, and Amy’s record company, Island Records, he is even considering mounting another drastic intervention and forcing Amy to rehab - or more pertinently back to rehab, as she has already been there on a number of occasions.

And what about, oh, I don’t know…this little thing called a marriage?  Couldn’t these two knuckleheads at least make an attempt at a divorce before they start picking up replacements?  And when’s she getting that “Blake’s” tattoo removed from her chest?  One more thing…you gotta wonder what it is about this guy.  Why take up with Amy now, if he’s so clean-cut?  Maybe he’s been assigned as her minder.

It’s pretty sad when the voice of reason in all this turns out to come from none other than Keith Richards, himself no stranger to the vices of drugs and alcohol:

Perhaps the best advice comes from a hell-raiser of a much older vintage, Rolling Stone Keith Richards, who has expressed concern for her future. 

“She isn’t going to be around long unless she sorts herself out pretty quick,” he has remarked. “She needs to get smart.”

UPDATE:  Amy has been arrested and is currently in custody.

Maybe, if what I’m reading on the internets is true.  She’s in big trouble for headbutting one man and punching another in the face while on a drug and booze-fueled frenzy, and word is the police are gonna come after her:

The troubled singer, 24, is expected to be arrested this afternoon after a 38-year-old man told police in Kentish Town she had allegedly assaulted him in Chalk Farm Road, Camden.

Winehouse, dressed in a Lacoste t-shirt and mini skirt, was driven from her Camden in a state of distress, with her make-up smeared across her face. [..]

The Met inquiry began after it was reported that Winehouse assaulted two people outside a bar early on Wednesday.

She faces up to six months in jail if convicted of assault.

But wait, there’s more…

Well, I didn’t see this one coming. I thought, like so many celebs, he’d get a slap on the wrist, but actor Wesley Snipes is facing three years in the pokey for tax evasion despite many famous friends attempting to intervene on his behalf:

The Blade star, 45, was sentenced Thursday to three years behind bars as his punishment for failing to file his tax returns, U.S. District Judge William Terrell Hodges announced in an Ocala, Fla., courtroom.

The actor sat stone-faced – and some people in the courtroom gasped – when the sentence was read. “I’m very sorry for my mistakes and errors. I apologize to my family, the court and the community,” Snipes said as his wife looked on. “I’ve asked the court to show me mercy and the opportunity to make things right.”

In February, a federal jury convicted Snipes of three counts of failing to file a tax return (from 1999 through 2001). Thursday he received 12 months for each count. Prosecutors say the actor owes a total of $41 million in taxes, of which he paid $5 at the sentencing. […]

In February, Snipes, an Orlando native, was acquitted on the more serious charges of conspiracy to defraud the government and filing a false claim for a $7 million refund – both felonies – as well as three similar counts of failure to file returns for the years 2002, 2003 and 2004.

The prosecution, seeking to make an example of Snipes, had requested the maximum: three years in prison and a fine of at least $5 million. […]

The defense, on the other hand, sought probation rather than prison time. “Wesley Snipes is not a dangerous man who needs to be imprisoned to protect the public,” Snipes’ attorney said in his sentencing memo.

“He is contrite, promises that he will never again break the law, and respectfully asks the court to consider not just the jury verdict but also all the good that he has done in his life.”

Oh man, don’t screw with the IRS. They will castrate you, d00d.

I have to agree, though, that they seem to be wanting to make an example of Wesley. I mean, while the charges are serious, and he should absolutely be made to pay what he owes, three years in prison seems to be a little much. In this day and age when we have drug dealers and rapists being freed early because of overcrowding in our jails, do we really want to stick a guy in there for three years because of something like this?

I mean, come on. Richie Sambora drives drunk with two underage children in his vehicle, and all he got was three years’ probation, three months of classes, and made to pay some fines.

But wait, there’s more…

Maybe they will let Amy and husband Blake Incarcerated-Druggie share a cell.

Yes, Amy Winehouse has really put her foot in it this time. She’s facing arrest after a booze-fueled attack on two men:

The junkie singer, 24, is to be quizzed by police after claims she HEADBUTTED a Good Samaritan who hailed her a cab outside a bar.

Rehab star Amy, said to have PUNCHED a second victim in the face, sank to a horrific new low while high on Class A drugs.

Onlookers told how the married singer also SNOGGED a mystery fella at a nightspot and shocked punters by overturning tables and drinks.

She was later seen smoking drugs in the street, walked into a lamppost, and riled a cabbie by paying only HALF her promised fare home.

It all started earlier in the night, when Amy and friends started drinking at home before heading out to a pub. While there, she punched a musician in the face who refused to give up his spot at a pool table for her. She played her game and returned home, only to come back out later and visit another pub:

But wait, there’s more…

I had this in my possession thanks to the wonderful largess of a fabulous person, but was unable to parse it out into the increments needed to upload onto YouTube. By the grace of Yahweh, someone did the hard work for me. Behold ladies and gentlemen, all the glory of David Miscavige celebrating the greatest triumph of the Church of Scientology (besides recruiting Tom Cruise as its mascot) in their epic victory of litigious endeavors ever attempted: winning tax exempt status.

It’s long, but certainly telling. Also, here’s a complete transcript of the event, including color commentary.

Parts 2 - 5 after the jump:

But wait, there’s more…

Rehabbing singer Amy Winehouse was caught out grabbing some takeaway from KFC with a drawn-on black tear under her eye.  Those in the know (which is pretty much anyone who reads news and who knows who Amy is) say it is a reaction to the news that hubby Blake Shine’er-Silver got hold of some bad drugs in the big house:

She emerged from her Camden home with her bodyguard, to pick up a take away from Kentucky Fried Chicken on the day it was reported that husband Blake nearly died after overdosing on heroin in prison.

Today he was said to be recovering in Pentonville Prison’s hospital block, after guards found him in his cell writhing in pain, and violently vomiting.

Prison officers later discovered that the drug was a toxic hybrid of heroin and other potent chemicals.

As our intrepid Dawn first reported on Sunday, Blake is reportedly upset that while he sits and rots away in jail, wife Amy is not only rehabbing and cleaning up her party-animal act, but she has been seen out partying and shopping with another Blake, an American artist who is squeaky-clean…even though she dedicated her Grammys to Bad Blake and gave him a shout-out twice in her set:

Blake was apparently fearful for his relationship amid rumours that the Grammys five-award winner has been enjoying herself with American photographer and artist, Blake Wood.

Fielder-Civil sent the singer a romantic Valentine’s hamper gift from his prison cell, following reports she had grown close to Wood, who has been dubbed “Good Blake”.

For her part, Amy has told friends that their relationship is platonic, and that Good Blake is actually homosexual.  The gays always make the best shopping buddies, don’t they, girls?

Amy.  Honey.  Come here a second.  I know that you are infatuated with Bad Blake, and he’s your husband and all that rot.  But listen to me a second…he’s a bloodsucking leech, a millstone round your neck, and he will do nothing but drag you down further and further into a drug-fueled descent to Hell.  I know it’s hard to let go of what you believe is such a romantic notion, and believing that the two of you are some sort of star-cross’d lovers, and it’s the two of you against the world, but trust me…crap like that only happens in plays, bad movies, and sugary love songs.  This is real life.

Let’s take a look at the comparisons…husband in jail, you NOT in jail.  Husband a unrepentant drug addict…you NOT on drugs and in rehab.  Husband poor and never works…you NOT on the dole of somebody else.  Husband’s life going down the dumper…your life NOT going down but your star is rising.  Husband a no-talent, no ambition, gagged-with-the-ugly-stick, knuckle-dragging monosyllabic troglodyte…well, you get the idea.  Just think about it, okay?

And if you’re worried about dumping him while he’s incarcerated, and how it will look, don’t worry…it will look GREAT, and we’ll all stand up and cheer.

I would like to know what this is in her nose…it could just be nose in her nose, but then again…I hope not.

Girlfriend is looking FIERCE!

Amy stepped out of her rehab facility for a short time to go visit husband Blake Whatever-Whatever in jail.  She’s been let out on short day trips before, most recently to be questioned over that infamous drug tape:

The visit follows a difficult day for Winehouse – she was questioned by police yesterday in connection with a video which allegedly showed her smoking crack cocaine.

Last month footage shown in a national newspaper appeared to show the troubled singer inhaling fumes from a crack pipe after a 19-minute drugs binge in which she snorted ecstasy and cocaine and admitted to downing six Valium. […]

A Scotland Yard spokesman said officers from Tower Hamlets had interviewed a 24-year-old woman in connection with an allegation of unlawful possession of a controlled drug.

He said she was not arrested, but was interviewed under caution and inquiries were continuing.

And she’s also applied for a visa to the United States, presumably to attend the Grammys this Sunday:

On February 4 the singer took a break from her treatment to apply for a US visa so she could attend the Grammys in Los Angeles on February 10, where she is nominated for six awards.

Regarding her attendance at the ceremony, the source added: “It depends on what the doctors decide. They will do what’s best for Amy’s recovery.”

The application process will not be simple due to her drugs record. Last October she was arrested and fined in Norway for possession of cannabis.

Like I said before, I think the only way that she could attend the Grammys is if she had somebody with her 24/7, from the time she leaves the rehab facility to the time she returns to it.  I just don’t think she is capable yet of managing a thing like this on her own.  She’s not been in rehab that long, and although she looks a thousand times better than she did, I’m not sure her addiction is kicked yet.  You don’t develop these problems overnight, and it will take more than a couple weeks to learn how to deal with what is a lifetime decision to stay clean.

Regardless, I wish her all the best in her continued recovery, and if she keeps making progress like this then there’s hope after all.