It’s been a while since we’ve discussed our favorite other addict, Lindsay Lohan. You may recall 2007 was a less than stellar year for Lindsay, as she released BOMB after BOMB at the box office, picking up like five Razzie awards for her thriller “I Know Who Killed Me,” oh yeah, and she went to rehab three times and was busted twice for cocaine possession and driving under the influence.

But wait, there’s more…

Rehabbing singer Amy Winehouse was caught out grabbing some takeaway from KFC with a drawn-on black tear under her eye.  Those in the know (which is pretty much anyone who reads news and who knows who Amy is) say it is a reaction to the news that hubby Blake Shine’er-Silver got hold of some bad drugs in the big house:

She emerged from her Camden home with her bodyguard, to pick up a take away from Kentucky Fried Chicken on the day it was reported that husband Blake nearly died after overdosing on heroin in prison.

Today he was said to be recovering in Pentonville Prison’s hospital block, after guards found him in his cell writhing in pain, and violently vomiting.

Prison officers later discovered that the drug was a toxic hybrid of heroin and other potent chemicals.

As our intrepid Dawn first reported on Sunday, Blake is reportedly upset that while he sits and rots away in jail, wife Amy is not only rehabbing and cleaning up her party-animal act, but she has been seen out partying and shopping with another Blake, an American artist who is squeaky-clean…even though she dedicated her Grammys to Bad Blake and gave him a shout-out twice in her set:

Blake was apparently fearful for his relationship amid rumours that the Grammys five-award winner has been enjoying herself with American photographer and artist, Blake Wood.

Fielder-Civil sent the singer a romantic Valentine’s hamper gift from his prison cell, following reports she had grown close to Wood, who has been dubbed “Good Blake”.

For her part, Amy has told friends that their relationship is platonic, and that Good Blake is actually homosexual.  The gays always make the best shopping buddies, don’t they, girls?

Amy.  Honey.  Come here a second.  I know that you are infatuated with Bad Blake, and he’s your husband and all that rot.  But listen to me a second…he’s a bloodsucking leech, a millstone round your neck, and he will do nothing but drag you down further and further into a drug-fueled descent to Hell.  I know it’s hard to let go of what you believe is such a romantic notion, and believing that the two of you are some sort of star-cross’d lovers, and it’s the two of you against the world, but trust me…crap like that only happens in plays, bad movies, and sugary love songs.  This is real life.

Let’s take a look at the comparisons…husband in jail, you NOT in jail.  Husband a unrepentant drug addict…you NOT on drugs and in rehab.  Husband poor and never works…you NOT on the dole of somebody else.  Husband’s life going down the dumper…your life NOT going down but your star is rising.  Husband a no-talent, no ambition, gagged-with-the-ugly-stick, knuckle-dragging monosyllabic troglodyte…well, you get the idea.  Just think about it, okay?

And if you’re worried about dumping him while he’s incarcerated, and how it will look, don’t worry…it will look GREAT, and we’ll all stand up and cheer.

I would like to know what this is in her nose…it could just be nose in her nose, but then again…I hope not.

Oh, the saga never ends, does it?  After I typed what was probably the shortest Brit post I’ve personally ever done, this news goes and hits the internets.  It would seem that Britney feels that she’s being held against her will, and isn’t allowed to do the things that make her life worth living:

In the documents obtained by TMZ, attorney Jon Eardley claims Britney’s rights have been snatched away from her and she has been cut off from life as she knows it.

Eardley claims, “It is doubtful that Ms. Spears can receive equal protection and a fair trial or hearing in the custody proceedings because of the intense media scrutiny of what would normally be private aspects of a person’s life.” It appears Eardley wants an injunction issued in federal court, asking the judge for the power to protect Brit in the custody case as well.

The documents allege “the deprivation of her civil liberties by the conservator is so severe as to interfere with the effectiveness of the scheduled medications that are covered by the Food, Drug and Cosmetics Act.” This appears to be an attempt to get the Federal court to accept jurisdiction.

However, some see it as introducing this thing called “normality” to Britney’s chaos-filled life:

The singer’s father has been overseeing her well-being and her $100-million fortune since Feb. 1, when Los Angeles Superior Court Commissioner Reva Goetz named him and Andrew Wallet temporary co-conservators – giving them the right to employ bodyguards who control her actions and restrict her visitors.

Since then, they seem to have kept the pop princess on a tight leash, forcing Britney to keep an uncharacteristically low profile (no appearance of her pink wig, no overnight stays at the Four Seasons). Although she has been spending much time holed up at her Summit house, she was recently spotted shopping with her mom, Lynne, and has been making regular trips to the Millennium Dance Complex.

And apparently, Britney does not want:

While Spears has been on her best behavior, sources say she’s been text-messaging friends from inside the house, complaining that she’s bored.

“She’s getting proper medical care and has professional security. The chaos has been removed from the situation,” says one legal insider[.]

But wait, there’s more…

For those of you who haven’t seen it, here is what Lynne Spears told the police and her allegations against Osmegma bin Leechy.  Warning, some of it is guaranteed to tick you off:

But wait, there’s more…

I would love to come in here one morning, sit at the computer, pull up various websites, and see that Britney had a “normal” night the night before…had a nice supper, was home at a decent hour, watched some television, went to bed, had a good night’s sleep.  But I don’t think that’s going to be happening any time soon.

I saw this going on before I went to bed, but I thought I’d give it until this morning to calm down a bit before I reported anything, and there still may be yet more happening today.  Apparently Britney had somewhat of an emotional night…I hesitate to say she had an emotional breakdown, though.  So here’s what we’ve gleaned thus far:

But wait, there’s more…

I had an epiphany of sorts this week. A strange mixture of revulsion and pity swept over me as I pictured Britney in her hyper-sexualized, manic-driven, deranged state complying with her new “boyfriend” Adnan Ghalib’s sexual advances.

As far as I am concerned, Britney is INCAPABLE of making rational, sane and healthy decisions about her life right now. This is not to say she isn’t manipulating the media, behaving in a willfully bratty and selfish way, but those random acts of defiance should not be confused with the sanity the rest of us count on to make appropriate decisions about our lives.

My assertion is Britney is being sexually abused by anyone who chooses to engage in relations with her at this time, this ESPECIALLY includes her new boyfriend - who I will take a step further and state, if Adnan IS in fact engaging in intercourse with Britney, it is NOT consensual and could qualify as rape.

I realize this is a strong statement, but please allow me to explain.

But wait, there’s more…

This whole Britney thing just gets weirder and weirder.  Let’s recap:  Last night, she had employees open Kitson at 1:30 in the morning so that she could drop $10,000 on merchandise (I was going to say that’s a lot of clothes, but when hoodies are $95, I guess that’s about one and a half shopping bags).  Four paparazzi were arrested after chasing her the other night and driving very erratically through the streets of LA.  She told police one of them tried to run her off the road, but could not identify who (so where was Anon Brazilianwax or Osama bin Loopy?  Can’t this girl afford a driver?  Or is that part of Anon’s master plan?).  And now, “sources” are saying that Brit suffers from multiple personality disorder:

We’re told the whole British accent thing — well, it’s more than an accent. Britney has multiple personalities, including, as people in her life call it, “the British girl.” We’re told when Spears loses the British personality, she has absolutely no idea what she did during the time she assumed that personality.

Sources say Brit has a number of other identities, where she becomes “the weepy girl, the diva, the incoherent girl,” and on and on.

Sources say Britney had become the British girl the day she didn’t show for her deposition and has no recollection of it.

Hmm.  I have a bit of a problem believing this one.  If she truly has no memory of the deposition, surely someone (lawyers, Anon, housekeeper, somebody) has mentioned it.  She checks the internet every day for photos of herself, so surely she’s seen pictures of herself at the courthouse and read articles about it.  And the problems in the brain that cause multiple personalities don’t just spring up overnight, they are years in the making, although a new personality can suddenly pop up with no prior warning.

However, I can also see the argument for this, as it definitely does seem at times as though we see a different Brit every day, sometimes even two or three different Brits in the course of a day.  However however, this could just be something as easily explained as PMS or hormonal swings or blood sugar imbalances.  After all, many of us wake up feeling and acting one way, but as the day goes on our behavior and actions change.  Speaking in a British accent isn’t necessarily indicative of a mental issue.  And it’s easy to cite “sources”…I can say that “sources” told me I had a McDonald’s burger for supper tonight, but that don’t necessarily make it so (I actually had mushroom and spinach pizza, although I have had a McDonald’s burger in the past, dun dun dunnnn).  But but again…when one pieces together the events of the past year or so in Brit’s life, one does come to realize that she definitely has a mental disorder of some kind.

I know that some will say that Britney is perfectly sane and that this is all a ruse to get people to either feel sorry for her, or for her to emotionally manipulate the masses.  However, I don’t agree with that one…while I do think that she sometimes does work the media to her advantage or to pull what she considers a joke on the public (as is now believed to be behind the pregnancy test purchase the other day), I truly do believe that she is mentally ill.  Even she should know, in her right mind, that being taken away strapped to a gurney wouldn’t be helpful to her child custody case.

Let’s just stop for a minute and say that this multiple personality thing is true.  IF it is so, then that means Anon, Osmarma bin Loopy, Cuzin Alli, her parents, her family, are all letting her go on and on without stopping her or attempting to get her help…especially those who are closest to her on a daily basis, which at this point are Anon and Smarmy, who appear to be the wall (either known or unknown to Brit) between she and her family.  If Anon is making zexytime with her, while refusing to get her help and at the same time selling his “exclusive” pics to Finalpixx, that’s reprehensible beyond belief.  I realize that having an adult committed to a mental facility is a tortuous, difficult, and arduous process, but somebody needs to attempt it before this girl self-destructs.

So, Mythbusters, let’s mark this one as plausible, but not practical.  In other words, I need more information.

And how close is she to hopping that train to Anna Nicoleville?  The Associated Press already has an obituary ready to go, a distinction usually reserved for the sick and aged.  Well, they got the sick part right.

UPDATE:  Uh, yeah, I’d say Brit definitely is not pregnant.  That, or she doesn’t have very good aim with the ketchup.  You can see the pictures here.  (warning…NSFW and rather gross)

Where’s my Shocked crayon, because that’s what you’re going to have to color me.  I’m just shocked, I tell ya!

No, apparently Pam and her third hubby, Rick Salomon, couldn’t make it work, despite giving it a whopping seventy-two days of effort:

According to court documents first obtained by CelebTV.com, the former Playboy Playmate has filed for divorce against her husband of just over two months.

On Dec. 14, Anderson filed a claim for dissolution of marriage, citing irreconcilable differences.

Anderson, 40, and Salomon, 39, a longtime pal, tied the knot on Oct. 6 at the Mirage Hotel Las Vegas. It was the third marriage for both.

Another Hollywood photo op publicity stunt pathetic attempt at grabbing headlines marriage bites the dust.  Such a good example for their children, are these wonderful, exlemplary parents.  It really shows the kids the meaning of compromise, working through one’s differences, and making absolutely sure one wants to make this level of commitment.  I aspire one day to be just like Pam.

Well, without the hepatitis, of course.

That’s probably what sunk the marriage…their respective diseases didn’t get along.

EDITED TO ADD:  According to the NY Daily News, Pam posted a note on her website that says they are “working things out”.  Who knows what’s going on in Pammy’s head?  All I know is that this is twice now she’s married and filed for divorce in a fast hurry.  Whether she goes through with it remains to be seen, but she seems to view her marriages as disposable as a used lipstick.

You’d think that Lindsay would be grabbing her little sister Ali and running away from Dina as fast as she possibly can.  But in little sis Ali, we see that Dina has learned from her mistakes…the mistake being not turning her daughters into sex symbols at an early, early age, as opposed to just an early age.  You want to get those old men drooling over your daughters as soon as possible.

So here is Lindsay, age 13:

And here is Ali, at almost 14:

I’m just sayin’.  It kind of writes itself, doesn’t it?  I simply post the pictures.

Junkie rocker Pete Doherty was on hand to offer support to Amy Winehouse as her husband, Blake Whatever-Whatever, made his first appearance in court:

Amy, accompanied by her father Mitch, stood at the back of the court next to the glass dividing the public gallery and the dock throughout the hearing.

Wearing a black top and grey pencil skirt –and sporting her trademark beehive - she blew Fielder-Civil kisses and repeatedly mouthed “I love you” when her husband turned around and smiled at her.

But as District Judge John Perkins ruled her husband must stay in custody, she suddenly looked distraught and momentarily turned her head away from the courtroom.

Blake was arrested Thursday night during an investigation of an apparent scheme to cause “grievous bodily harm”, or GBH (not the drug, like I first thought…well, you know, you think of Blake, drugs just pop into your mind) against a witness who was to testify against him in an upcoming trial.

He apparently has been moved to a jailhouse medical unit, after some sort of breakdown:

A close family member said: “The unit has a TV and is more relaxed than a normal cell, which is meant to help calm him down.”

Fielder-Civil will be assessed today to decide when to move him back to the main wing.

A prison source - who insisted he was not under suicide watch - said: “He is in the unit for his own safety. We want to keep an eye on him. It is also a precaution because he could experience trouble from fellow inmates.”

During his first phonecall to his family, Fielder-Civil wept as he told how he was pining for his pop star wife. The friend added: “Yes, he is crying non-stop, but he’s crying for Amy.

“He’s more concerned about her than for his own safety. He misses her terribly.”

Hmm.  Sounds a lot like drug withdrawals to me.  Of course, this comes from the Mirror, so take it for what it’s worth…but the Mirror is the paper who broke the story to start with and was instrumental in taping the encounter that led to his arrest.

Apparently, Blake and some of his pals roughed up a barkeeper who was going to testify against them in an upcoming trial.  He was then offered upwards of $400,000 US to keep quiet and back out of his testimony, and say it was all his idea.  They were filmed discussing the plot, and how to pay the witness (with Amy’s money, of course…I doubt if Blake makes $400,000):

Earlier detectives had been tipped off by the Mirror to an astonishing alleged plot to halt a trial in which Fielder-Civil and pal Michael Brown are accused of assaulting a barman causing GBH with intent. It is claimed £200,000 would have been paid to alleged victim James King to withdraw his police statement.

He would also be flown out of the country before the hearing in the hope that the case against Fielder-Civil, 25, and Brown - due on on Monday - would eventually collapse.

As part of our investigation King, who needed metal plates fitted in his face, was filmed withdrawing his allegations about the assault.

Amy was not filmed at meetings observed by the Mirror and there is no evidence to suggest she was involved in the alleged plot.

But police, who raided her home yesterday in an attempt to gather evidence of the claimed plot, will wish to see whether she can help.

You can read the whole sordid story at that link.  Suffice it to say it isn’t quite James Bond stuff.

I know that Amy must be distraught at this turn of events, but it is my feeling that Blake is a master manipulator.  He has threatened suicide and bodily harm to himself if Amy didn’t do as he wished,  and you can tell by her body language that she is totally under his thumb.  He seems to be able to twist her however he wants, and I’m sure the combination of drugs and Amy’s admitted low self-esteem do not help matters any.

I certainly hope that her family can use this time to get her clean.  She is a wonderful talent, wasting away before our eyes because of this.  Yes, she has her own problems, and she needs to be an adult and face up to her responsibilities in getting her life to this point.  But she and Blake have a parasitic relationship, and there’s no way for either of them to get clean while the other is around.

And is Pete Doherty really the person Amy needs supporting her?  He recently had his own relapse into drugs, and is supposed to be in rehab himself.  Amy needs the support of pals who aren’t junkies around her right now.