I happened to catch Lady GaGa’s new video Bad Romance
or shall I say Nemiroff’s Vodka new video?

I had to both laugh and cringe at the story behind her video and the rampant amount of product placement.

By the looks of this video, it seems like Nemiroff Vodka (which you can see about seven times in the video) is the winner of the “most shoved in your face award” hands down.

The video not not only shows the Lex Nemiroff bottles repeatedly, they show people drinking glasses of clear liquid which is supposed to insinuate drinking the vodka. They also show someone pouring it into a glass, and also forcing a glass of clear liquid down GaGa’s throat. 

Nemiroff Vodka is not only being shoved down GaGa’s throat in the video, but GaGa chose to shove it down her fan’s throats.

Then there is the story behind the video, that can be very questionable to certain audiences. Doesn’t GaGa have an awful lot of young fans? Was booze, kidnapping and sex slaves the right direction to go with this video? We will get to that in a bit.

The product placement is EVERYWHERE in this video.

In the beginning of the video, once you get past the first picture of the Nemiroff Vodka bottle, there is a group shot of the “cast” in the video and right up front on either side of GaGa is a Parrot by Starck pair of black funnel tower speakers with an iPod or iPhone perched on top on the left speaker.

Then you can see GaGa’s mesh covered finger push the button on a Parrot by Starck iPod speaker. Parrot by Starck was designed by French product designer Philippe Starck (although the real product name is “Zimku”). It is a $1,600 sound system for an iPhone or iPod.

We then move on to GaGa wearing a pair of her very own silver Lady Gaga Heartbeats head phones in the bath tub scene. These will set you back $100.00 and of course, they’re available on her website.

Then THREE times you see GaGa wearing a pair of white “Safari” sunglasses by Carrera.

And last but not least, there is the HP Envy Beats Limited Edition laptop and headphones by Monster. There is a whole row of these laptops to show the “sex slave bidding” results in the video’s story. The laptop logo was very prevalent. A real bargain at $2,500. 

Also making an appearance, was a Wii controller a couple of times which was used to bid on GaGa the sex slave by the bidding Russian mafia men. Wonder how Wii weighs in on what their controller was used for?

Now there are a few smaller product placements in the video, but they are not as visible. There are gold aluminum cans in the beginning of the video on the floor and some of the “actors” are holding them. Maybe someone knows what they are? 

There are also plastic bottles of a red “drink” on the tables which are seen several times. It also shows one the “actors” drinking one of these bottles. Looks like Vitamin Water (acai blueberry) to me, but the name is not visible. I guess they didn’t pay enough moolah for their name to be visible in the video. Funny they showed people pouring vodka, made it look like people were drinking vodka, but put no emphasis on the Vitamin Water.

They showed SO much vodka in this video, I was kind of shocked. Even though you don’t actually see the word vodka on the bottle, I still think it was a big mistake. Gaga has a lot of young fans, what kind of message does this send? In one of her earlier videos,LoveGame, it shows people drinking Campari on the subway. Again, more booze placement.

I know many other artists do this too. Rappers show a lot of crap they shouldn’t be showing when it comes to excessive behavior and demeaning women, but this video wins the award for booze placement.

This new video is definitely Lady GaGa’s style in all her wackiness and her “edgy” shenanigans. One of the things I did like about this video, was the scene with the floating crystals around her, I thought that was pretty darn cool.

Now the premise behind the video according to Wikipedia:

“Gaga is kidnapped by a group of supermodels who drug her and then sell her off to the Russian mafia for sex slavery.”

The Russian mafia? OH! That’s where the Nemirfoff Vodka ties in — their bottles state it’s a product of the Ukraine.

Lovely story for young fans, isn’t it? Hello sexual degradation…your table it waiting!

Lady GaGa believes that the opening scene with her wearing a pair of razor blade glasses “portrays a tough female spirit.”  I didn’t really pick that up from that scene.

I guess the “tough female spirit” is then squashed with the rest of the video’s story:

“Two women pull her out of a bathtub, rip her clothes off and force her to drink a glass of vodka. As the second verse begins, Gaga seductively dances for a group of men bidding on her. She straddles one of the men and performs somewhat of a lap dance on him.

Afterwards, he raises his bid and becomes the highest bidder for Gaga. When the chorus is played for the third time, Gaga is shown wearing a jacket made of a polar bear hide. She walks toward the man, who is sitting on a bed, unbuttoning his shirt. Gaga has a look of indifference on her face and removes her jacket and sunglasses.

Suddenly, the bed spontaneously combusted with the man still sitting on it. The video ends with Gaga laying beside a smoldering skeleton on top of the destroyed bed with ashes everywhere. She smokes a cigarette, while her pyrotechnic bra goes off”

The Russian Mafia Bidding Scene

Ok, I am not a fan of censorship, but again, she has MANY young fans. Between all the vodka drinking and sex-slave bidding…is this the message GaGa wanted to send? FYI.. Her website sells Lady GaGa back to school supplies.

There was a comment left on her website by a women who said her daughter loved the video so much that she watched it 100 times. Now I know it is up to the parent to police their kids, and I don’t know how old this girl was, but it’s close to impossible to watch your kids 24/7.

But wait, there’s more…

Rumors have been circulating lately about the gender or shall I say the genders of Lady GaGa. Many people thought that The Princess of Pop (yeessh) is a hermaphrodite. For those of you who do not know what a hermaphrodite is, it is a person born with both male and female genitalia.

The picture that had everyone a-buzz, is the one below. It clearly shows a “bulge” of some sort in the crotch region.

People were wondering, if this was carefully placed “package” for shock value for her career? Or a photo-shopped picture? Or is Lady (I use the term lightly) more than just a lady?

Well Lady finally came forward and put an end to the rumors and said that “she was not offended, but her beautiful vagina was very offended”.  Thank God that is cleared up, I will no longer have sleepless nights. *snicker*

Wait….what did she say? Her beautiful vagina? Who the hell talks publicly (or at all for that matter) about having a beautiful vagina? (with the exception of the Vagina Monologues)
Wow!  Talk about being totally full of themselves.

The Examiner.com reported:

Since the hermaphrodite rumors started circling around Lady Gaga back in August, the singer has kept quiet about whether or not she has both parts.

Lady Gaga reportedly told an Australian radio station, “My beautiful vagina is very offended. I’m not offended; my vagina is offended. I’m not embarrassed. I sold four million records in six months; I’m not embarrassed about anything. I think this is society’s reaction to a strong woman.”

“The idea that we equate strength with men and a penis is a symbol of male strength, you know, it is what it is. But like I said,” the dance-pop diva reiterated, “I am not offended at all, but my vagina might be a little bit upset,” she added.

The singer has been flaunting her naked body in various magazines since the rumors began, hoping to disprove that she may have both man and lady parts, but we all know what a little Photoshop can do.

What do you think? Is Lady Gaga telling the truth or just deny, deny, denying?

My reply? Who gives a damn? Sorry, I could care less what she’s packing, and besides, what’s the difference? Are people saying if GaGa was a hermaphrodite that they wouldn’t be fans any more? Why, can’t a hermaphrodite be a diva too?

This story oddly peaked my interest and I decided to look more into GaGa’s music, since I wasn’t too familiar with it, and I wanted to see what the fuss was all about. What I discovered wasn’t much. I found an ok looking gal who loves to dress in kooky outfits and writes some really lousy songs.

GaGa is going the ol’ shock diva route because she basically needs those costumes and stage performances to hide her lack of talent. Her audience needs a lot of distractions. And now that she has a following, he crappy songs wont’ matter as much.
 
Her voice and song style comes pretty close to Madonnas, although Madonna’s songs were better written. Now I am not a fan of Madonna’s either, but nobody can deny that when Madonna blew up big in the 80’s that she was at least original and her songs were much better than GaGa’s. 

I have to say, that some of GaGa’s outfits are very cool, I will at least give her that. I love the way she sometimes meshes a vintage look with wackiness and forms some pretty outrageous get-ups. BUT…is that it? Yes, that’s it.

Let’s not forget this has been done a hundred times over in the music biz, and way before she strapped on that bubble suit for the cover of Rolling Stone.

Performers have been making names for themselves via shock for years. Way back when, Liberace was one of the first shockers and was the king of outlandish outfits. He was one of the first pioneers of  “putting on the dog“.

Although Liberace’s voice was far from good, he did play a mean piano. And look at Elton John, who started out as sort of a meek country bumpkin and ended up going all Liberace on everyone, once fame came knocking on his door.

Elton was not only an elaborate dresser, but he had quite the collection of outrageous glasses, which became a signature for him. So was Elton copying Liberace? It really didn’t matter, because he can sing and play piano to boot.

There was David Bowie who dressed up as Zigggy Stardust, and Cyndi Lauper who started an entire fashion craze with her gobs of costume jewelry, and her poofy crinoline slips.

But again like Elton, this girl can sing.

Take the band Kiss for instance, who was popular in the 1970’s. They rose up in the ranks due to their alter ego wild costumes, pyrotechnics on stage and Gene Simmons spewing blood and wiggling that long snake of a tongue. It was freaky to see a band dressed like that with full face paint back  in the 1970’s, and it was very innovative. (I was never a Kiss fan though, I think their movie ruined it for me *snicker*) But they did have some talent to back up their look.

Alice Copper, another unusual performer, used to hang himself on stage complete with an entire gallows set up on stage. He also would whip bloody plastic baby dolls on stage during his Dead Babies song… but again…Cooper had the talent to rock the house.

Let’s not forget Dee Snyder in Twisted Sister, ok… never mind, we can forget that one.

(Just have to mention, and way off topic, but I think Christina Aguilera definitely stole Dee’s look when she did the video for Moulin Rouge).

And what about Boy George? He started out rather tame with Culture Club (well sort of) and then showed up in an airport one day dressed like a Geisha girl, and got more outrageous from there. But nobody can deny that the man possessed decent set of pipes on him. We won’t get into where he is today.

Back to Madonna…
But wait, there’s more…

Madonna’s Smirk Says It All

I promised myself I wouldn’t write about Madonna, ’cause she just makes me retch, but sometimes you must break your own rules in the interest of the public.

I could never stand Ms. Phony Pants, right down to the way she speaks. Despite her preposterously pretentious name, was one of six kids born in Bay City Michigan for Heaven’s sake. Her father was Italian and her Mom French Canadian, so I don’t have a clue where she came up with that lame accent — likely the same Fantasy Land she also lives in.

So as much as I try to ignore her, I couldn’t resist poking fun at her shacking up with Jesus…Jesus Luz that is. Jesus is a 22-year old Brazilian model who has been seen all over the place with Madonna including a trip to Madrid, touring the Prado Museum and the Royal Palace.

Back in March of 2009, Madonna and Jesus appeared in a steamy 46-page photo shoot in W Magazine which showed her frolicking in a hotel bed with Jesus. He has his name tattooed on his back, perhaps, just in case he forgets it. Or maybe in case Madonna forgets it. I also noticed she was wearing a cross around her neck in some of the shots. Perfect!

But hey, Madonna is a walking contradiction. Do you remember when said she didn’t want her children watching TV? I guess she forgot it was the early MTV’s videos on which put her on the map to stardom. If kids were not allowed to watch TV back in the 80’s, maybe Madonna would still be in Bay City Michigan. Ahhh…wistful thinking

So I guess TV is out, but boy toys and steamy photo shoots are ok? Not to mention all the other questionable crap she has done after she had kids. Her last photo shoot for her 11th album “Hard Candy” was certainly a trip to Sluttown. She even named her tour Sticky and Sweet.  What is up with all these sexual innuendos?  Does Madoona still think this is hot? It may have worked in her younger years, but now, it’s getting sad and the time has come to put that thang away.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a prude in any sense. But when you have children involved, it gets to a point were you just have to grow up and get some class girl. How can someone write childrens book and then go out on stage and hump a guitar? What are her kids going through? I can just hear one of her daughter’s friends: “Hey Lourdes! (ugh, hate the name) your Mom can really hump a mean guitar!”

From Sean Pean, to Dennis Rodman, to porn star Tony Ward to Guy Ritchie, and asking David Letterman to smell her underwear on TELEVISON (maybe that’s why she didn’t want her kids watching Mommy on TV) to kissing Britney Spears, and now a boytoy named Jesus? We get it Madonna, you are SO shocking. *Yawn*

As much as we wish Madonna would embrace her 50’s with class and dignity, it looks like this cougar is just getting started. In fact, Madonna may be the ultimate cougar, with 28 years between she and her latest sex-toy Jesus, putting Demi Moore to shame, with only 15 years between she and her hubby Ashton Kutcher.

And at the risk of getting nasty comments suggesting if Madonna were a man, nobody would say anything about her newest boy toy, you’d be WRONG. While part of me says, get it while you can, and the other part of me just says ewwwwwww because well…were talking about Madonna, and for some reason, she just seems a bit long in the tooth to be pulling her “Like A Virgin” routine. Again. And again.

Come Here Jesus And Give Mommy Some Sugar

It’s anyone’s guess what Madonna will come up with next, or who she will be “frolicking” with, but I only hope for her kid’s sake that she decides to clean it up a bit. With two African adoptions under her belt, her attentions are elsewhere. So THANK YOU JESUS…Jesus Luz that is.

In Madonna’s world, it’s always someone else’s fault. Such is the power you wield when you are a super-famous gazillionaire. And when Madonna falls off a horse, clearly, someone other than Madonna is at fault, even in the face of evidence to the contrary.

Last weekend Madonna fell off her horsey (her 2nd of such incidents) while visiting in the Hamptons. News reports, including CNN, considered this a major headline despite Madonna’s camp stating that her injuries were minor. Madonna and her PR pimps told anyone who would listen that a photog jumped out the bushes and startled her horse, which is why it threw her off. But according to police reports and the photog himself, he was nowhere NEAR Madonna when this happened. Maybe he’s also responsible for this and this?

Now, Liz Rosenberg, Madonna’s spokeswhore says Madonna didn’t tell the officers what really happened during the incident, because she had fainted, TWICE and was in no condition to tell them what she saw. Uh huh. Of course, after an injury like that, you’d think Madonna would take it easy. Think again, her trainer says it’s back to pumping iron for the Material Girl.

She was discharged hours later but Madonna’s representative, Liz Rosenberg, claimed the singer would undergo “further tests and continues to remain under observation by doctors.”

However, Madonna’s trainer Tracy Anderson insists the Material Girl’s injuries are minimal and would not disrupt her exercise schedule as she prepares for the summer jaunt of her ongoing Sticky and Sweet world tour.

Anderson told Usmagazine.com on Monday, “She’s going to be fine. She fell on her butt. She’s fine.

“We’re going to train tomorrow. We have our set training. She’s like a professional athlete. She can’t mess around with her training. I mean, she has to be able to perform in front of 70,000 people who are sucking the life out of her, and she’s singing and dancing. There are no shortcuts when you’re training in that way.”

Which is it, so injured she needs observation (’cuz they are sticking with their pap bushes story) or “fine” and ready for action?

To make a long story short, Madonna’s big fat ego was too big for the poor horse to take, it threw them both off its back and now Madonna is telling stories to save face. How sad is that?

I almost feel sorry for Madonna, she can’t even take a spill without lying about it. Imagine being married to someone that full of themselves? Guy Richie deserves some kind of saintly stature for his duties to mankind.

Madonna, she catch a break these days. Unless you count the one she took on her arse this weekend in the Hamptons. Don’t worry, our favorite pentagenarian isn’t too injured from her fall off a horse, but her ego might be a little bruised.

Madonna, who took up horseback riding a few years ago after moving across the pond to England, has had horsey troubles before. Back in 2005 the singer broke several ribs after a bad fall, and that experience may have even been the beginning of the end of her marriage to Guy Ritchie. The couple’s divorce finalized in early January of this year.

Madonna’s long-time publicist Liz Rosenberg claims Madonna’s horse was startled by a photographer whom she claims jumped out of the bushes and this caused her fall, but according to the alleged pap and the Southampton Police, this was not the case. More from the NY Daily News:

The 50-year-old pop star was asked how she was doing after a night recuperating at pal Gwyneth Paltrow’s estate.

“Better,” she replied.

Madonna’s camp claims her prior encounter with a photographer didn’t go quite so nicely.

Spokeswoman Liz Rosenberg claimed her superstar client was thrown when a photog jumped out of a patch of bushes and startled her horse, sending her flying.

But freelance photographer Thomas Hinton claims he played no role in Madonna’s mishap – a position supported by the Southampton Village Police Department.

Hinton told The News he shot some frames of Madonna riding her horse about 3:50 p.m. Saturday, but took off soon after because he didn’t have a good vantage point.

Hinton returned more than 40 minutes later when he got tipped off that Madonna had had an accident, he says.

“I arrived more than 10 minutes after she fell, and I was shooting from the street,” Hinton said. “I don’t know what [Rosenberg] is talking about.

Horse falls happen to the best of riders, so I don’t see why Madonna would bother to lie about it, then again, her ego is the size of Long Island, so there’s that to take into consideration.

What is NOT the size of Long Island is the time and effort Madonna is willing to put into parenting her children, at least according to her former chef and house manager Eric Lenco. According to the former employee, Madonna’s a great mom, when she’s around, which he says is hard for her to squeeze in between yoga, pilates, and her career.

Eric Lenco, who worked for Madonna as her cook and housekeeper, has given his thoughts on Madonna’s current appeals to adopt a fourth child.

He said: “When she’s with the children, she is a devoted mum. She just doesn’t spend much time with them. It’s a puzzle why she wants to adopt again. She’s hardly ever with her children. She’s got two full-time nannies and one part-time nanny. So why adopt a kid when somebody else is raising them?”

“She gets up and has a coffee, then she does two hours of yoga,” he says. “Then there’s two hours of pilates and exercise. That’s six days a week. After that she deals with her email, her calls and the rest of her business. And after that, she spends maybe half an hour with the kids. Madonna puts herself before the kids. When she adopted little David, he arrived at her home from Africa, and three hours later, she left to do pilates. Wouldn’t you think she’d want to spend the entire day with her new son?”

The ex-cook also says her previous adoption led to the end of her marriage. “Madonna thought [David] would bring them together, but Guy was dead against adopting, so, for the marriage, it was the final nail in the coffin.”

This should be a shock to no one, most especially for Madonna herself. She long ago blamed her failed marriage to first hubby Sean Penn on her inability to devote time and attention to a relationship, and practically brags about how self-involved she is. Why on earth would someone that selfish want to bring another child into their life? Especially a child who would desperately need some serious one-on-one attention for any kind of proper bonding to occur.

Riches and luxury are great, but they are no replacement for love, nurturing and parental attention. Workaholics and attention whores like Madonna and Angelina Jolie should really think twice before sucking innocent children into their crazy, ego-centric world.

Holy Baby Inside A Baby Inside A Baby Batman!!

SNL went to the darkside during their weekend update by having “Madonna” face-off against fellow baby-hoarder “Angelina Jolie”. I guess it doesn’t really count since they were being merely portrayed, but the results of such a match-up are pretty spot on.

As k reported on Friday, Madonna’s bid to adopt another child, this time a girl named Mercy were declined, including a pretty harsh tongue-lashing from the Malawian judge overseeing the case. While I can certainly understand Madonna’s disappointment (let’s face it, the might M isn’t denied very often) she shouldn’t be all that shocked. Even poor countries like Malawi (the same nation where Madonna adopted her son David Banda a couple years ago) have rules, and those rules apply to EVERYONE, even superstars.

What’s amusing about the skit is the emphasis on Madonna and Jolie attempting to one-up each other in the exotic-baby-adopting department. With two egos the size of the Atlantic, it’s hard to say who is more likely to come out ahead in real life, but in this contest, I guess Angelina wins, hell she’s 3-0 in the baby-snatching from poor nations department, and Madonna, despite her plans to appeal the decision is, 1-1.

I’d be hard-pressed to choose a side, but I am slightly more inclined to lean towards Madonna, but only because Angelina is so freakin’s smug about stealing little non-white infants. Here’s what Jolie said in the past about Madonna’s first adoption troubles:

Angelina Jolie has attacked Madonna for adopting a child ‘illegally’.

She said the singer should never have visited an impoverished African country with the sole intention of choosing an infant.

Her comments follow accusations that Madonna used her fame and money to speed the adoption of one-year- old David Banda late last year.

‘Madonna knew the situation in Malawi, where he was born,’ said Miss Jolie, who has adopted two Third World youngsters of her own.

‘It’s a country where there is no real legal framework for adoption.

‘Personally, I prefer to stay on the right side of the law. I would never take a child away from a place where adoption is illegal.’

Miss Jolie, 31, also made clear she was shocked by Madonna’s decision to take David from the country where his father still lives.

Isn’t that rich? Especially the part about Madonna visiting a poor country solely for the purpose of adopting a child. ‘Cuz you know, Angelina Jolie would NEVER do such a thing, except of course the three times she did it. Shut your piehole Jolie you duplicitous slut!

Rumor has it there are babies RIGHT HERE IN THE U.S. who’d love to have a loving, warm, stable family to call home. I guess that makes these two nutjobs ineligible.

As most of you probably know by now, pop supertart Madonna wanted to adopt a little girl from Malawi to complete her set of little African adoptees.  However, a judge with sense and intelligence (unlike the first one involved in David Banda’s case) chose to deny Madonna’s request.

I’m not even going to try and summarize this case…instead, I found an article at the Daily Mail which, I believe, sums up the whole case and everything that is so wrong about it in a way that I only wish I could.  I’ll hit the highlights for you, but I encourage you to go read it for yourself.

But wait, there’s more…

She Who Shall Not Be Denied, otherwise known as Madonna, is determined to go ahead with her adoption of another child from Malawi, despite opposition from almost every corner:

Not everyone here is impressed with Madonna’s self-appointment as saviour of Malawi’s orphans. Yesterday the singer was branded a ‘child kidnapper’ by Mabvuto Bamusi, executive director of Malawi’s Human Rights Consultative Committee, a network of 85 non-governmental organisations.

‘We feel Madonna is behaving like a bully,’ added Undule Mwakasungula, its national co-ordinator, after the court hearing. ‘She has money, she has status, she is using her profile to manipulate the procedures.’

It would seem that Mercy’s family have finally bowed to the adoption after two years of pressure, exerted at Madonna’s behest.

Only this weekend, Mercy’s grandmother, Lucy, said that Mercy was being ’stolen’ from the family.

Madonna, who flew in to Lilongwe by private jet on Sunday afternoon, eventually sold the idea to the family by saying that one day Mercy would come back to see them at their village.

However, one might look up the father of little David Banda, also adopted by Madonna from the poor country, and ask him how many times he has seen his son since Madonna stole adopted him.  David has visited his father, Yohane, exactly one time since the adoption, and that only a few days ago…despite promising his father that there would be contact (reportedly, David’s first words to his father in over two years were, “Hello, who are you?”).

It is interesting to note that Madonna does not travel as most people do who wish to adopt a child from the country of Malawi (by the way, Peons Who Don’t Matter To She Who Shall Not Be Denied, otherwise known as regular people, must live in the African country for eighteen months before being considered as potential adoptive parents); she not only flew in her personal trainer (Josh; of course, what was I thinking?), but also several exercise machines including a treadmill.  Because, after all, she wouldn’t want to miss one minute of her hours-long workouts every day for something as insignificant as an adoption of another human being.  And God forbid she should run on something like a road!  Don’t you know how dusty it is in Africa?  Don’t you read National Geographic?  The people there are so dirty!

No, if Madonna wants something, Madonna gets something.  She wanted to exercise, so they flew in her special machines.  She wanted her trainer there, so they jetted him in.  She wants another child, so who cares if there are these pesky things called laws and statutes and such?  I guess it never occurred to her that it might seem spoiled to jet in all those things while people are, I don’t know, dying and stuff.  Plus, I’m sure she either got rid of or hid her Kablahblahblah red boogey-man-repellent string because it clashed with her outfit, not because a country which adheres to the Christian faith such as Malawi might not like it.  Oh no.  Why, that would be sneaky.

And just what does the family of little Mercy, the human life in question at the center of all this drama, have to say about the whole thing?

Mercy’s family aren’t impressed by Madonna the superstar. They don’t even know who she is because they have no radio or television in the redbrick hut in their village. All they know is that there is a wealthy lady from America who wishes to take Mercy away with her.

Mr Baneti, Mercy’s uncle, lives in a mud shack five hours away from Lilongwe.

He had never been to Lilongwe before yesterday’s court hearing.

Speaking a few days ago, the fisherman reportedly said: ‘We never wanted to let Mercy go. She is part of our extended family and our culture.

‘Now we have been persuaded that Mercy can have a better, healthier life somewhere else in the world with this rich white woman. I feel we need more advice, but everything is going so fast. We were told there is an important meeting where we must sign papers on Monday. Now we hear it is a court hearing in front of a judge.

‘We have no experience of this sort of thing. We are not sure if we should be saying goodbye to Mercy like this.

‘We cannot afford a lawyer to represent us, but my brother and I are going to insist there is an agreement that our niece will come back to us one day. We really need that.’

I suppose the idea that working to keep little Mercy’s family together and working to improve their lives has not occurred to Madonna.  Take it a step farther…one could argue that the money Madonna is spending to adopt one child away from her family could better be spent on attempting to give the whole country and its inhabitants a better quality of life.  A regular person might only be able to help one child, but someone such as Madonna has the ability to help many.  She has the money to spare, and I’m sure that is what her charity, Raising Malawi, is all about, right?  Helping lots of people, not just snatching the one child away that she really really really wants?

But then Madonna wouldn’t be getting her way, would she?  After all, creating a charity means that she truly cares, right?  She surely wouldn’t do something like that just to make herself look good to those in charge of signing adoption papers, right?

Then there is that school she is building.  Only really nice, decent-type people who deserve little African children build schools, right?

Madonna arrived in Malawi with Lourdes, 12, Rocco, 8, and David on Sunday and toured the village of Chinkhota, where she is planning to build a school.

The singer was photographed examining a 3D plan of the proposed building, but local residents were less than enthusiastic about the idea.

‘She has bought all this land and we are told everyone will lose their gardens and have their houses demolished,’ 43-year-old villager Lucy Chagoma said.

Another resident, Esinati Nkhoma, said villagers were worried that they would not receive compensation for their land.

‘We are told to leave our gardens after this year’s harvest, we are told our houses are to be pulled down but nobody is talking about compensation,’ she said. ‘Where will we move to?’

Charles Kalemba, the Lilongwe District Commissioner, said compensation was being handled by the government and officials from Madonna’s charity Raising Malawi.

‘Everyone will definitely be compensated,’ he insisted.

Most reasonable people, when confronted with those who have concerns about their actions, will at least give them a listen and examine themselves to see if those concerns have any merit.  Not so Madonna…here’s what she thinks about people who don’t think she is doing the right thing:

Asked what she thought about those opposed to the adoption, she replied: ‘It’s none of their business.’

And there you have it.  If she’s bending or outright breaking the law, if she’s behaving at the least unethically and at the most like a bullying thug, we have been put in our place…we have been told it’s really none of our business.  So those of you who support her by digging into your ever-shrinking wallet to buy her CDs, use your credit card to download her music, or pay good hard-earned money to go see her in concert, you’ve just been told it’s none of your business.  She’s got your money now and she’ll do what she pleases with it.  And if that means snatching a child away by dubious means, what’s that to you?  You’re just jealous because you can’t do it!

No, not that kind of mercy…a little girl by the name of Mercy James, from the country of Malawi:

The youngster was taken to a luxury lodge outside Lilongwe earlier this week, in preparation for being united with the singer, according to sources.

Madonna is expected to stay in the south-east African country for a week before flying out with Mercy – bar any last-minute hitches. [...]

Mercy is being cared for by a nanny at Kumbali Lodge  -  where Madonna has stayed on her previous visits to the country. She had been living at an orphanage near Blantyre, in the south of Malawi.

Madonna had hoped to keep the fact that the child is already at the lodge a secret until leaving the country.

‘Mercy has been handed over to Madonna’s people, who are already at the lodge, and is being cared for by a nanny,’ says the source.

‘They are waiting for Madonna to arrive so mother and daughter can be united and then Madonna is expected to take Mercy with her when she leaves.’ [...]

On Monday, the singer is expected to attend a court hearing in Lilongwe to formalise the adoption after having reportedly filed adoption papers.

If the judge refuses to rubber stamp the adoption, however, it will be a severe embarrassment to Madonna, now that Mercy is in the care of her staff.

It is being said that even though the little girl is already being cared for by Madonna’s ‘people’, not everybody is as thrilled about the adoption as Madonna is:

From the start, Mercy’s surviving family have been bitterly opposed to the idea of the little girl being taken by Madonna.

Her uncle, John Ngalande, reportedly said in August last year: ‘We won’t surrender her. They told us how another Malawi kid has had his life transformed by her. I don’t want that attention. We want an ordinary life.’

Mercy was placed in an orphanage after her 18-year-old mother died five days after her birth. It was reported that her father was a schoolboy and it is not clear whether he is alive.

Madonna’s determination to adopt Mercy was said to be a major cause of conflict between her and Ritchie, who was opposed to the idea.

Last year he was said to have relented but soon afterwards the couple separated.

Which brings up another sticky point…Malawi isn’t too keen on adopting out babies to divorced people; their rationalization is that the person adopting might have been the person who caused the divorce.  I’d say in this case they seem to be pretty spot on with that one.

Despite just firing David’s nanny, Madonna is so serious about grabbing this baby that she dumped her most recent boy toy Jesus Luz because the officials in Malawi questioned the appropriateness of the 50-year-old dating a man half her age.  Hey, I question the appropriateness of Madonna every day, but that doesn’t stop her from doing stupid things that end up on this blog.  Where can I sign up for some clout?

Seriously, though, it seems that she didn’t learn anything from the adoption of little David.  And whatever happened to that whole “you have to live in the country for eighteen months before you can adopt one of our children” rule?  Well, once again, what Madonna wants Madonna gets.  After all, she’s got enough money to bend and/or outright break the rules…isn’t that what money is for, anyway?

There’s no doubt that the orphans in Malawi are suffering.  I just wonder if being plucked from there by Madonna isn’t opening them up to a different sort of pain…not comparable, but still real.

Speaking of crazies on David Letterman’s show, when I was watching that wonderful little clip Dawn put up about Joaquin Phoenix’s disastrous appearance, it reminded me of when a certain singer named Madonna was a guest on his show.  I watched it happen, folks, and it wasn’t pretty.

What, y’all think he invented it?  (She didn’t either…ever see Emo Phillips on Dave’s old show?)