Girlfriend is going to get whiplash if she keeps turning around this fast.  A few weeks ago, Mariah Carey declared that she would feel “violated” if she became pregnant, but now says that she’d love to have a little bun in the oven:

The Hero singer said: “It’s (having children) part of the whole purpose of getting married.

“I’d just want our children to have the best childhood and upbringing they possibly could.”

The pair expressed their love for one another in the most modern of romantic gestures, by getting tattooed:

Speaking for the first time about their speedy marriage to American magazine People, Mariah revealed she had got a ‘Mrs Cannon’ tattoo before the nuptials, with Nick getting a simple ‘Mariah’ etching.

He proposed to her in a surprisingly fitting manner for her personality…by using a kiddie candy ring (which was actually kind of cute, imo):

Nick proposed to Mariah on April 26 on the roof of her Manhattan apartment as they watched a lighting display on the Empire State Building to celebrate the success of her new album E=MC2.

He surprised Mariah by presenting her with a kids’ ring pop candy ring, which had a £1.25million, 17 carat diamond ring hidden inside the plastic casing.

Nick said: “She ran away and got all shy.”

During a helicopter ride over the city later that night, Nick proposed again and Mariah finally accepted.

And by the way, those rumors that she didn’t have a prenup?  Rubbish, according to her:

Mariah apparently told a mutual pal of ours: “Anyone who thinks we didn’t have a prenup is smoking something!”

Hmm.  Quickie wedding, sudden u-turn on having kids?  I think she’s in the club.

Don’t you just love that “Oh my goodness, how embarrassing to be caught out, let me put my hand with the enormous ring on it up to my face in an attempt to look properly shy” look she’s rocking in the photo?  Nick just looks…shellshocked.  He’s got to learn how to work it like Mimi if he’s gonna roll with her.  She’s gonna go home and beat him with one of her zillions of shoes for screwing up her photo op.

Placing bets on how long this lasts?  Either way, Nick Cannon is set for life.  (I still wonder if she lets him use the Hello Kitty bathroom!)  I hope he gets used to catering to her every whim, however…there’s no way she’d ever let anyone upstage her.

And get this…she done went and got hitched without a prenup, to a man eleven years younger than she is.  Yes, reports are that Mariah and Nick Cannon got married yesterday, and nobody even saw it coming:

Carey married TV actor Nick Cannon at the home she just bought in Eleuthera in the Bahamas, a source close to the singer said.

“They have been smitten with each other for days, weeks,” the friend said. “And she’s always had a crush on him.”

And about that absent prenup thing?  Apparently, they were in too much of a rush to get married to worry about it:

“Everyone is happy to see her happy,” Carey’s friend told The Post. “And it could work out - some people know each other for five years and get divorced. Maybe this is true, instant love.”

Not everyone is so over the moon.

“There was no prenup - there wasn’t time,” said another worried source.

You’d think that someone who has been around the business as long as Mariah has (and with one divorce already under her belt) would know better than to get married without a prenuptial agreement.  If they were able to keep things under wraps so well thus far, then what was the big rush?  I might say it’s the tried-and-true reason that most people rush weddings (that Cannon shot her full of lead, if you get my drift), but everybody knows that she’d feel too “violated” to get pregnant.   And we wouldn’t want to steal the spotlight from Mariah, would we?  Stock up on those Trojans now, Nick!

I don’t care about the age difference thing, but for someone as wealthy as Mariah to marry without a prenup is pretty foolish.  She’s been through this once…she should know that sometimes it isn’t always “true love”.

Well, I hope Nick can learn to sleep in a room where there are twenty humidifiers surrounding the bed.  That is, when he isn’t lining her path with scented candles and a red carpet.  Wonder if she’ll let him use the Hello Kitty bathroom?

Good luck, buddy…you’re gonna need it.

I’m going to be honest with you and tell you that I have no idea what she is talking about, but apparently one of the reasons Mariah Carey won’t have kids is because she would feel “violated“:

So staff may be breathing a sigh of relief that pop princess Mariah Carey says she doesn’t want to have any kids in the foreseeable future.

Perhaps there is just not enough room in the world for two Miss Careys.

But in a somewhat bizarre explanation, the singer has claimed that having children would leave her feeling ‘violated’.

“It’s hard to have kids in this world,” she told OK! magazine. “I don’t think I could properly educate a child right now. Maybe in the future, but I actually haven’t thought about it.

“For now, I enjoy my dog Jack’s company. It’s definitely because of childhood traumatic stuff. The whole not wanting to have a baby as a baby.

“I never wanted to feel violated and I know that’s a kind of weird thing to say, but that’s how I am.”

Well, hmm. I’ve heard rape victims saying they feel violated, and I’ve heard people who have been victims of a burglary say they feel violated, and I’ve heard victims of a violent crime say they feel violated, but I’ve never heard anyone compare having a baby to feeling violated.

I mean, when you feel violated, it is a feeling that someone has come in and invaded and defiled your most sacred personal space. So Mariah is saying that a baby would invade her body, and defile her sacred personal body space? Having a baby is a scary proposition, but is it a violation or fear? I agree that stretch marks and cellulite and morning sickness suck; but is it a violation, or just vanity?

I agree that having kids in this world today is a hard job. It’s a 24/7/365 commitment, and when you have those kids, it’s for life. And I agree that if you are used to being a “baby” yourself, having a baby probably isn’t the smartest decision you could make. Babies require bucketloads of attention, and quite honestly, some people (even non-famous, everyday people) just can’t handle having the spotlight taken from them and shined on a little infant who can’t even control its bowels.

So it’s probably good that Miss Mariah feels she isn’t ready for kids. Unfortunately, far too many people only discover that fact after it’s too late and the kid is already here.

But wait, there’s more…

Earlier today I wrote a piece on Mariah Carey’s interview with Glamour magazine, where she opened up about her life, her music, and her huge, 12,000 square foot home (complete with a 3,000 square foot closet for clothing, but not lingerie…that is a different closet, you see).  I wondered, at the time, why Mariah would choose to open up her life to the cameras now.  I know she has an album coming out, but that couldn’t be the only reason.  After all, she’s had other albums released.

Then, I was scrolling through Perez Hilton and came across this little blurb:

Felicidades, Mami!

Mexican pop star, actress and entrepreneur Thalia and her husband, music mogul Tommy Mottola, welcomed their first child on Sunday, PerezHilton.com has learned.

The girl, named Sabrina, weighed in at a very healthy 8 lbs 4 ozs and came into this world after a trying 20 hours in labor.

Mother and daughter are resting comfortably.

I was another couple of articles down the page before it clicked.  Wait…Tommy Mottola is the ex-husband of Mariah Carey.  He and his wife just had a baby, and he seems to be thrilled at the new addition:

“Mother, father and baby Sabrina are all healthy and very happy and will be residing at their ranch in Colorado,” the singer’s rep said in a statement. […]

Asked for Mottola’s opinion about expanding the family, Thalía, 35, told PEOPLE EN ESPAÑOL that her husband, 58, has wanted to have kids together for years.

“If it had been up to Tommy, I would have had children from the first day we married. I would already have three or four,” she said.

Mariah, on the other hand, claims that she is in no hurry to have children, despite being thirty-seven years old:

The Grammy-winning singer also says she’s not in any rush to have children. “What I want is to have children in a good way, with the right husband, with the right family life.”

Asked if that means she’d only have children if she were married, “I think so,” she says. “But who knows? Five years from now I might get hysterical and say, ‘I have to have kids!’ But I don’t think so.”

And she admits that she’s never been in love:

“With a human being I don’t know, but definitely with a pet. [Laughs.] I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a relationship of the caliber I write about in my love songs.”

Timing is everything.  The week before ex-husband Tommy (with whom Mariah never had children and whom she divorced after four years of marriage) and his wife had their baby, an interview with Mariah is published in which her lavish lifestyle and luxurious home are splashed across the glossy pages of a magazine.

It beggars the question:  Is Mimi trying too hard?

Now, this is just my opinion, but it appears that M is attempting to justify her extravagant lifestyle and home to herself, if to nobody else.  It just screams, “Look at me….I am a success!  Look at my expensive furniture, look at my beautiful chandeliers and fixtures, look at my opulent lifestyle, look at my humongous closet filled with shoes and clothing and accessories that I never wear, look at me….all of this makes me a success!”  And in the meantime, her ex and his new wife are making beautiful babies together and are, by all accounts, very happy.

Is living well truly the best revenge?  I guess it depends on your definition of “living well”.  Suddenly, the Glamour interview makes perfect sense.  I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’.

Okay…I’ve let this go long enough.  I was going to write about this the other day, but I just couldn’t believe it was real.  Surely someone was exaggerating.  But no…it does appear that this story is true.

Mariah Carey is a self-important beeyatch with no brains and lots of money.

I could post a pic and end the article right there and go away happy, but I think I’ll expand a bit on that thought.  I mean, this is already general knowledge, right?  And I am not here to post stuff that is general knowledge.

Mariah gave an interview in Glamour in which she states, among other things, that she doesn’t know how many bathrooms she has in her 12,000 square-foot triplex in NYC’s Tribeca district:

“I don’t………”

WAIT a minute.  Stop the quote.  I think my eyeballs just had a hemorrhage.  12,000 square feet?  She lives in a triplex that has a square footage of 12,000 square feet?  WTF?  It’s HER.  No kids, no husband, HER.  Maybe some pets.  But I’m positive we aren’t talking about elephants here.  Or maybe we could be…it IS Mimi, after all.

“I don’t know! Do you really want me to try and think about it?” she says in the new issue of Glamour magazine.

The 37-year-old singer has an entire bathroom dedicated to Hello Kitty. “I’ve liked Hello Kitty since I was little,” she says.

She has a 3,000-square-foot closet and a separate closet just for lingerie.

WAIT.

But wait, there’s more…