Spider-Man is probably the most popular man in our house.  Without exaggerating, we have somewhere near 100 Spider-Man related action figures.  My son dressed like Spider-Man for Halloween and in his little toddler-brain, Spider-Man will save him from all the brain-eating zombies, Doc Ock and Green Goblin pumpkin bombs out there. 

But even with all that power and might, the hardest thing Spider-Man’s had to do: kiss Kirsten Dunst.  I am not surprised.  But before I let the snaggletooth insults fly, let’s put that quote in the right context.  Actor Tobey Maguire, 31, who has played the webbed-hero for all three movie (Spider-Man 3 comes out May 4th) is featured in this week’s Parade Magazine where he opens up about that famous kiss (hailed as one of the steamiest at the time), his difficult and lonely childhood, and his future with five-month-old daughter Ruby and fiancee Jennifer Meyer. 

Maguire on Spidey kissing Dunst:

But wait, there’s more…

 

Since when did moviestars have to borrow money from their sister to pay their rent?  Where’s this guy living, Buckingham Palace? 

British actor Matthew Goode, who plays Gary the no’er-do-well in the new film, The Lookout, which is about a guy who suffered a traumatic brain injury and is subsequently duped into committing a bank robbery is having real-life thoughts about robbing a bank, well not real real-life, just fantasies. 

In the movie, Matt tricks head-trauma victim Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character into helping him rob a bank.  The film, likely to be a hit, is the directorial debut by screenwriter Scott Frank, who’s best known for writing the screenplays for Minority Report, Get Shorty and Out Of Sight.  The Lookout has gotten mostly good reviews as being suspenseful and engaging.  It also stars Isla Fischer, Sacha Baron Cohen’s (Borat) pregnant fiancee.

Back to Matt and his bankrobbing dreaming sequence — recently he said this about his financial woes:

“It would be nice to have a bit of cash right now. I’d pretty much walk up to a bank teller with a banana in my jacket, so I could just laugh it off if I got arrested, and say, ‘I was just a bit drunk officer, I’m so sorry.’ I could get away with anything with a British accent over here in America, but in England they’d be like, ‘Listen, you tosser, you’re not taking the money.”  He added, “I’ve been borrowing rent money from my sister for the last three months.”

He’s right, in America  all you need is to be famous and you can pretty much get away with anything.  The British accent and the banana, well that’s just a little extra insurance.  Matt hopes to finally score a real paycheck — legally — with his upcoming films The Brideshead Revisited and Copying Beethoven, also starring Ed Harris and Diane Kruger.  Some of his previous filmwork was in Chasing Liberty with Mandy Moore, and Match Point, which starred Scarlett Johannson and John Rhys-Meyers.

He can “rob” me with a banana if he wants.  And by rob I mean…well, you know what I mean *wink*

 

Kate Hudson and Owen “Butterscotch Stallion” Wilson are the most annoying couple.  Owen is a perpetual teenager unable to commit to even the hottest female celeb like Kate Hudson, and Kate, can’t seem to take a hint.  Does Owen have some sort of magical weenis?  Maybe it does some kind of laser-light show after dark.  All I know is that everytime I read a story about these two it aggravates me how unwilling he is to give her what she needs in a relationship and how totally “penilized” she is by his special charm.

Kate has been in Australia for the past few months filming Fool’s Gold with Matthew McConaughy and according to reports, the two are getting chummy, and maybe Matt’s been the source of comfort Kate needs as she finally figures out that Owen is a worthless pursuit. Matt and Kate worked together on a previous film, How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, but she was married to rocker Chris Robinson at the time.  Maybe now, the two can finally see if there’s any real chemistry between them.

As for Owen, not only was he out with Woody Harrellson on the night of the infamous brawl at a Venice bar, but apparently he’s been seen with two “mystery” women in the last few weeks and has bailed on visits to see Kate down under several times.

Truthfully, I hope she does move on.  Owen’s hot and all, but no woman needs to put up with that kind of commitment-resistant whack-a-doo.  Go ahead Matt, show her the good lovin’.

 

The internet is abuzz over a story involving young actress Thora Birch and her dad acting like a total jackhole on the set of her new film, Winter Of Frozen Dreams. Apparently while filming a sex scene, Thora’s dad and manager Jack Birch demanded to be present, despite standard procedure being a closed set for such types of intimate scenes. An insider on the set said this about Thora’s sex scene with actor Dean Winters:

“It was so wrong. The director is saying, ‘Harder! Faster!’ and the father is giving Winters the thumbs up.”

There’s also some concern over Jack Birch bullying the director Eric Mandelbaum about camera angles, and on the first day of shooting the sex scene the insider stated: “All of a sudden, the front door is being kicked in. Her father was threatening to kill the assistant directors. Then he threatens to pull her from the movie with three days of shooting left.”

Jack Birch’s demeanor is both bizarre and unpleasant, and he’s described as looking “like Charles Manson,” wearing a “full-length leather coat and wraparound sunglasses, even at night” and in a review for an old movie he did  “Road of Death” (1973) he’s described as “a muscle-stud . . . so unphotogenic you can’t take your eyes off him.”

Oh, and he’s an old school porn star who met Thora’s mother Carol Connors on the set of their claim to fame film “Deep Throat.”

So, really, if you think about it, having parents who are porn stars is like the equivalent to having parents who are serial killers.  All the notoriety you could want, plus they aren’t in jail.  Why anyone is surprised that her dad acts like a freaking pervert and a digusting pedophile is beyond me.  Chances are pretty good that he is one.  Scandal solved. 

Now look, I like Harry Potter. In fact if it wasn’t for the Harry Potter series of books I might have completely lost my ability to read. Because let’s face it, I am not smart. But who needs smarts when you are as charming as I am? Who I tell you?

Wait, where was I? Oh yeah, Harry Potter. So there I was, innocently checking out one my favorite celeb sites and I see this picture of Danny boy, and low and behold: full frontal nudity. I asked myself (as a fan of the series and all) do I really want to know what his business looks like? I mean what if the next time I see one of the movies I am driven to madness with that filthy image seared into my memory? Sheesh, I already spend too much on therapy.

Alas, I threw caution to the wind. What’s one more pornographic image in a never-ending series of images that have long since sealed my fate. So I give it a looksy and DAMN, wouldn’t you know it, that sucker was unshorn. It had foreskin and stuff on it. Like, not cool man. Totally not cool.

As if it’s not bad enough that Daniel has taken the children’s series to a level it never should have gone, what with starring in a play about a dude who has sex with horses and girls? Now he’s showing his freaky-looking dong for all the world to see. I understand Daniel the Actor wanting to spread his wings and show his range, but come on, couldn’t he have chosen something a little more kosher for the kid? (Bad pun intended!)

Dude’s pretty hung though. Not that I noticed. Isn’t he like underage or something? Seriously, NSFW picture after the jump. But I warn you, don’t look if you’ve never seen one with its helmet off. IT’S NOT PRETTY!

But wait, there’s more…