I’ll take Johnny Depp please!
Is that the way the clients of California Cryobank sperm bank order their baby makers?

Apparently the California Cryobank has come up with the idea of matching up their sperm donors with famous celebrity faces. Are they genius entrepreneurs helping their clients make a tough decision of who they should pick as their baby daddy? Or are they just trying to make more money than other sperm banks by claiming their donors are celebrity look alikes? Or both?

How does this sperm bank match their donor’s faces with celebrities? With high tech face-recognition? Nope!
Employees of Cryobank sit around a table and put the donor’s pictures up on a screen and argue which celebrity looks like that donor the most. When they come to a consensus, they add that information to the donor’s file, and then the donor’s name goes into a huge data bank. Clients can then search the data base for a donor by which celebrity they want their child to look like.

Although clients are not allowed to see the donor’s ACTUAL picture by law, clients can  search for a potential donor by picking out a celebrity name.

Too superficial?
How will the general public weigh in on this?

I wonder if someone will pass up a donor with a better IQ, for a donor that looks like Mario Lopez? I also wonder if people out there will pick a celebrity look alike in hopes on trying to cash in on their offspring down the line, especially if their child ends up as a dead ringer of a celebrity.

Hey Kate Gosselin, this has your name all over it! Only eight kids? What’s the big deal? The Duggars have you beat by a landslide! It can be your new show! “Kate Plus Eight Plus Elvis!”
And remember Kate, there is a plus side besides the new show…which ever donor you pick… he can’t take money out of your bank account! 

Now I have seen just about every way there is to make a buck in the ol’ USA, and a lot of it ain’t too pretty. And there are some wackos out there who may try to claim that their child is the child of an actual celebrity. I wouldn’t put it past them. Far fetched? Perhaps.

But take the case  of a women trying to collect millions from Keanu Reeves. She is claiming that he is the father of at least one of her four adult children.  *snicker*
Even though Reeves took a DNA test to prove that he wasn’t the father, and he also said he never met the women, she still isn’t backing off. 
What did Reeves have to say about this whole ordeal? 
Rest assured, he didn’t say, ”eeeeeexcellent!” *snicker*

Of course Cryobank does have a disclaimer to cover their butts in this overly litigious world:

“No celebrity is meant as an exact match for any donor, nor should you assume that your future children will look like any celebrity listed.”

NBC’s Today Show covered the sperm bank story, and on this video, you can see the employees sitting around a table with the donor’s picture on a screen and trying to figure out who the donors most resemble. Man, where do I sign up for this cream puff gig?

Scott Brown, communication manager of the California Cryobank said to NBC TODAY,

“It’s not that our donors look like celebrities, it’s that celebrities look like our donors,”

Oh! I see what he did there…. he is SO crafty!

You can also pick a young or older version of the celebrity too. Perhaps you would like a young Sean Connery as OO7, or the older more sophisticated Sean Connery. The choice is yours!

There are MANY stars as well as athletes listed in their data base. And let’s not forget musicians and the less than famous celebs. You can pick from Eddie Van Halen to Jackass reality star Stev-O!
I kid you not, he is on the list.
Wow, seriously…if anyone picks the Steve-O look alike, I am afraid I just don’t understand, unless he is a nuclear physicist.

 
So are there people out there opposed to this celebrity look alike baby daddy factory? YES.

Some snippets from NBC’s TODAY,

The program has its share of critics, especially in the bioethics world. University of Albany professor Bonnie Steinbock bashed California Cryobank’s celebrity-match program on CNN, saying, “There’s something strange about a culture that has stratified rigid types of beauty where everyone looks alike; now they’re trying to create children through who the actor of the moment is.”

Brown’s defense:

Not so, says Brown. While the process may seem superficial, it is actually extremely helpful in guiding prospective parents through a stressful and often confusing time, he asserts.

“Seem superficial”?
Some people would argue that it is superficial. But don’t people have the right to choose which donor they want for whatever reason, since they are the ones paying for it? And what if it does help the client make their choice?

Take the opinion of a perspective Mom who was trying to pick a donor:

“I’m flipping through the catalog with a friend of mine, feeling like I was about to recruit a basketball team, because it was just all stats.” And while she whittled down her list, the Cryobank couldn’t show her a picture of the donor — but it could tell her one of her finalists resembled Freddie Prinze Jr.
“For me, that clinched it right then and there,” she said. “I’ve always found him attractive!”

Freddie Prinze Jr.? Really? That clinched it for her? To each their own.

So matching a face to a donor may actually make some clients feel more at ease about who they pick, or actually help them to decide who to pick. I hope people have the good sense to pick donors with good qualities, rather than picking a donor because they like Orlando Bloom.
But then again, this is the land of the SUPER DUPER superficial, so nothing would surprise me.

I wonder if Cryobank’s business will be booming?

I can see it now…
Mothers with their kids are at the playground and one mother says to another,
“wow your little boy really looks like Leonardo DiCaprio! Any relation?” 

The proud Mom says, “Well no, it was donor #09756-QL5, we were really big fans of the movie Titanic, so that’s why we went with him”.

I guess if there is one guy who is a real dead ringer of a handsome celebrity, he will be in big demand and asked to come back quite often. There can be a panic at Cryobank if they run out!  What happens then?

It may go something like this:

“OMG! We are fresh out of the Ryan Reynolds look alike! Get 9087-K490L on the phone stat! Tell him we have some new vids and magazines! Yeah I know he has been in twice a day for the past month and he’s a bit tender… Chain him down again if you have to, until he puts out. We are in the baby making business people!”

MORE???

I guess in the long run it can become quite a lucrative and fun “job” if you are a celebrity look alike donor. What guy wouldn’t want this gig? At $50- $75 a pop, I am surprised that there is a job shortage for men in the US! Hell, they ain’t getting paid for doing it at home!

Tough luck for all you donors out there who look like Gary Busey (sorry Gary) or OJ Simpson. (not sorry OJ)

I imagine their “stuff” wouldn’t have too many takers and is probably passed up for the gloopus of a more hunkier looking celebrity look alike.

But things may not work out exactly the way you have planned. Even though you picked out your favorite celeb look alike, don’t forget there is a 50/50 chance that your child may be a girl and you may end up with a pretty scary looking child! And I am more than sure that Cryobank does not issue refunds for fuglies.

Very Scary Indeed!

I bet some clients just won’t really care if the donor they picked has only two brain cells….
Just as long as their celebrity knock off looks good in a tux!

Former football giant OJ Simpson was sentenced on Friday in what hopefully is the last chapter of a long, sordid saga that began with a murder on a Brentwood walkway and which will probably end in a prison cell:

This was not the O.J. Simpson of old.

His wrists shackled, eyes reddened and husky voice cracking, the fallen football star — who famously was acquitted of double murder in Los Angeles — was sentenced Friday to up to 33 years in prison for robbing a pair of memorabilia dealers. He will be eligible for parole in nine years.

Surprising even Judge Jackie Glass, Simpson delivered a tearful five-minute apology to a packed courtroom down the street from the casinos and pawnshops of downtown Las Vegas.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of it,” Simpson said, in a moment that may have marked the end of a saga that the nation has watched for years: Simpson’s journey from gridiron icon to social pariah after the deaths of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman in 1994. He was acquitted of their slayings in 1995, but a civil jury in 1997 found Simpson liable in their deaths.

Simpson, 61, told the judge that he went to a down-market Las Vegas hotel on Sept. 13, 2007, to recover family heirlooms — including his slain ex-wife’s wedding ring — to pass down to his children.

“This was the first time I had an opportunity to catch the guys red-handed who had been stealing from my family,” said the NFL Hall of Fame running back, dressed in navy jail garb, his hair graying at the temples.

“In no way did I mean to hurt anybody, to steal anything from anybody. I just wanted my personal things,” he said. When Simpson finished, his shoulders slumped and his face fell.

The robbery stemmed from memorabilia dealers having some of OJ’s stuff, and he wanted it.  He had stored many of his mementos with family and friends to keep them from becoming part of a multi-million dollar judgement against him stemming from 1997, but he didn’t get it all back:

The former Heisman Trophy winner, Hertz rent-a-car pitchman and sports commentator was accused of leading a ragtag band of men — two carrying handguns — to confront dealers hawking mementos from him and other sports stars.

“I didn’t ask anybody to do anything but stand behind me, have me yell at the guys and help me remove my things,” Simpson told the judge.

Dist. Atty. David Roger and prosecutor Chris Owens — who said they had never tried such a high-profile case — argued that the robbery’s origins could be traced to the $33.5-million civil judgment.

Simpson stashed things with friends to keep them from the family, which he had nicknamed “the Gold Diggers,” but he grew frustrated when the items were not returned, prosecutors said.

On Friday, Simpson insisted that he was acting on behalf of his children, and said he had even told his former in-laws of his plans.

“In Mr. Simpson’s mind . . . what he was doing truly was a retrieval of his own property,” defense attorney Yale Galanter said. “What it was, was a highly emotional, stupid act that violated the law.

“Stupidity,” he added, “is not criminality.”

And you can’t fix stupid.

I’d like to point out that, unlike what many seem to believe, this is not “final justice” for the murders of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson.  Justice delayed is justice denied…the jury back in 1995 had their chance to put him away and they let it go, finding him not guilty (and it is important to point out here that they did NOT find him “innocent”).  However, this case is forever tied to his murders, because there would have been no need to hide valuables from the families of the victims had there been no victims to start with.  So there is definitely at least a sense of closure and of justice finally catching up with a man who has always believed he was above the law.

I almost feel sorry for OJ…almost, but not quite.  Not because he’s going to jail, but because his life did not have to end up this way.  He is the one who brought this upon himself; he is the one who made the decisions along the way which led to this point; he is the one who chose to do the things he’s done and to not take responsibility for his actions.  He had it all, and he threw it away…for what?  What does he have to show for his life now?  All of his sports achievements will now have an asterisk beside them.  Even if he gets out early, his kids will be nine years older and will probably be off trying to further their own lives.  He’ll be seventy years old by the time he is eligible for parole.  He is nothing more than yet another broken man, the result of a lifetime of selfish decisions, who is going to spend most–maybe even all–of his remaining days behind bars because of some very stupid actions starting way back before he even met Nicole.

Nothing like snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.  For what?

The latest jury members to find themselves in the life of OJ Simpson declared that they were not tainted by memories of that travesty of a verdict in 1995, nor are they a bunch of racists:

The jurors all denied they wanted to punish Simpson for past wrongs. One panelist, Dora Pettit, said she prayed for him before and after the case.

“I think he’s an ordinary man that made a bad decision,” she said. “I prayed for him and Stewart and the attorneys. I don’t have any ill feelings, and if they walked out tomorrow, so be it.”

Simpson, 61, was acquitted in 1995 of murdering his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman in Los Angeles. He was later found liable for the deaths in a civil case. He had claimed in the robbery case that he was trying to reclaim mementos stolen from him.

The jury also reacted to complaints by Simpson’s lawyers that there were no blacks on the panel; both defendants are black. One juror identified herself in a court questionnaire as Hispanic.

“We’ve been painted as an all-white jury who hates O.J., and that’s just not true,” Pettit said.

It seems the prosecution wasted their time bringing in those other witnesses/accomplices, and that the police need new transcribers:

The jury listened repeatedly to recordings made by collectibles dealer Thomas Riccio _ the host of the hotel confrontation, who was granted immunity _ and felt they heard things that had not been fully transcribed by police, juror Michelle Lyons said.

But jurors could not trust the credibility of witnesses who were given plea deals, Lyons said. “We felt we could not rely on that witness testimony,” she said. 

And without those famous recordings, OJ just might have walked free:

Seven panelists who attended an extraordinary news conference Sunday concluded that without the recordings the prosecution might not have won convictions.

“It would have been a very weak case,” said Dora Pettit. Another juror David Wieberg chimed in, “Yes, a weak case,” and other jurors nodded in agreement.

It also seems that five of the twelve thought that OJ should have been found guilty in his famous double-murder trial.  However, they said that their belief in his guilt did not in any way influence their decision in this trial.

And that is how it should be.  The verdict in this trial will never make up for the verdict in the other trial.  As much as so many of us hate to face it, he was found not guilty (NOT innocent, as his apologists like to say), and that was that.  He can’t be tried again for that crime.  However, OJ does seem to be getting payback for thinking that he is above the law and can do as he likes, an undercurrent in the previous trial as well as this one.  Plus, had he not been trying to hide (and subsequently retrieve) memorabilia from the families of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.  So perhaps the two are linked in more than just the obvious.

But let’s face it, OJ is probably not going to spend the rest of his life behind bars, unless he only plans on living another five years or so.  I mean, it could happen…the man is sixty-one years old.  He could have a heart attack tomorrow, he could live another thirty years.  But the general consensus on the interwebs is that he’ll get about five years…which, with time off for good behavior and considering time already served, would get him about…three and a half days in jail.

Seems fair, right?

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a verdict in the latest OJ Simpson trial (seriously, how many court things has be been involved in now?)…the jurors found him guilty of all charges:

The 61-year-old Hall of Fame football star was convicted of kidnapping, armed robbery and 10 other charges for gathering five men a year ago and storming a room at a hotel-casino to seize Simpson sports mementos — including game balls, plaques and photos — from two collectors. Prosecutors said two of the men with him were armed; one said Simpson had asked him to bring a gun.

After the verdict, Simpson, the sports-idol-turned-celebrity-pariah, was handcuffed and led from the room with his co-defendant, Clarence “C.J.” Stewart. They could spend the rest of their lives in prison.

“There is justice,” said attorney Gloria Allred, who has represented the family of his slain ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson. “Justice was delayed, but in this case it was not denied. Now that he may spend the rest of his life in prison, the law, and not O.J. Simpson, will have the last word.”

Well, Gloria (whom I’m no fan of, btw), I hate to point this out, because I am as glad to see OJ finally get to serve time as anyone else is…but justice in that case would have been served had he been convicted of those crimes at the trial of his ex-wife and her friend.  Of course, there is a tie-in to the previous trial, in that this case would never have come about had OJ not been trying to hide his sports memorabilia.

It’s too late to make amends for that travesty of a verdict now…justice delayed is justice denied. No, this is simply the latest (and hopefully final) chapter of a man who thought he could get away with anything, and it finally all caught up with him:

“I don’t know that one trial cancels out the other,” said Loyola University law professor Laurie Levenson, who attended Simpson’s murder trial. “People will always be troubled by O.J. For the people troubled by the Los Angeles acquittal, this case will make small amends. Saying finally there is justice, at least from a legal perspective, is very crude way of looking at justice.”

Having said that, I am glad that OJ is finally learning that he can’t do what he wants and get away with it just because of who he is. His luck ran out and it all finally caught up with him. He was finally busted for thinking he was above the law…the odds were stacked against him.

A bit of odd happenings in the courtroom…after the verdict was read, the lights went out:

And then, as only the sobs of Simpson’s sister broke the silence late Friday, the lights went out.

Court marshals flipped on flashlights and shouted for everyone to stay seated. Only the judge knew what had happened. It was 11 p.m. and the courthouse lights had shut down automatically.

“Timed out,” Judge Jackie Glass said in a fitting epitaph for the story of O.J. Simpson, which has long haunted America.

And just where will OJ be living now?

Kidnapping is punishable by five years to life in prison. Armed robbery carries a sentence of at least two years behind bars and could bring as much as 30.

Simpson and Stewart were taken to the Clark County jail, where the football star will live in a 7-by-14-foot cell, far removed from his ranch-style home in the lush Miami suburbs. It will be his home until at least Dec. 5, when he and Stewart are scheduled to be sentenced.

Oh, and that “thirteen” number thing?

He was convicted of an armed robbery that happened on Sept. 13 and was found guilty on the 13th anniversary of his Los Angeles murder acquittal. The Las Vegas jury deliberated for 13 hours after a 13-day trial.

While justice may not be served for the horrific murders of Nicole Brown and her friend Ron Goldman, at least the jury got it right this time.

Testimony began in the OJ Simpson trial yesterday, detailing just what went down when OJ and his merry band of pranksters went memorabilia-shopping:

Expecting to sell O.J. Simpson collectibles to a wealthy buyer at a hotel here, memorabilia dealer Bruce Fromong was instead shoved, patted down and threatened with a gun by associates of the former NFL star, Fromong testified Monday.

Fromong said that during the six-minute confrontation, Simpson shouted: “Don’t let anybody out of this room. Nobody gets out of here.” Simpson, Fromong added, accused him of stealing the memorabilia, yelling, “I thought you were a good guy!” [...]

In opening remarks, Chief Deputy Dist. Atty. Chris Owens tied the alleged robbery of Fromong and another collectibles dealer to the 1997 civil jury decision that awarded $33.5 million to the heirs of Goldman and Simpson’s slain ex-wife.
Simpson hid valuable mementos with friends to avoid handing them over to Goldman’s father, Fred, Owens said. One of those friends, a former agent, did not return those items to Simpson, Owens said. The former USC football standout, believing some of the items ended up in the hands of a memorabilia dealer, decided to set up a sting, the prosecutor said.

“You will be able to write that final chapter,” Owens told the panel. “The chapter of arrogance and hypocrisy, and that will be the true verdict.”

Simpson, 61, faces a dozen charges in connection to the alleged robbery of Fromong and another collectibles dealer at the Palace Station Hotel & Casino. The most serious charge — kidnapping — carries a potential life sentence.

Simpson maintains that he was trying to retrieve stolen items, including pictures of his children and his late parents.

“This was a recovery; this wasn’t a robbery,” said Simpson attorney Yale Galanter in his opening remarks.

No, I’m pretty sure it was a robbery:

Fromong expected to meet a wealthy buyer in Room 1203. He had 700 to 800 items, including signed footballs, baseballs and sports photos; a picture that J. Edgar Hoover had signed for Simpson; and three of Simpson’s ties.

Instead, Fromong said, “the door burst open . . . and then people started rushing in.”

One man carried a gun in his waistband, Fromong testified. Another waved his weapon and snapped, “If we were in L.A., things would be a lot different,” Fromong said.

“They took everything except for two baseball bats,” Fromong said.

His testimony had to stop as he began to feel dizzy and lightheaded.  The man has had four heart attacks since this happened!  Of course, if I thought the Juice might come after me, I might have a heart attack or two myself.

It seems that even though they don’t want to draw comparisons to OJ’s previous trial, it just can’t be helped, since the hiding of valuable memorabilia seems to be what led to this action in the first place.  But is there really a market for OJ stuff any more?  Well, other than for the morbidly curious.

It remains to be seen if the current jury can put the previous trial out of their minds and ignore the temptation to “get it right this time.”  However, I still say that because of OJ’s trying to hide valuables with his friends, you just cannot escape comparisons to the two trials, and they are linked.

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends…

I thought it would take longer than this, but it would seem that in just five short days, they’ve managed to put together a jury for the latest OJ Simpson trial…a jury that is, well, pretty white:

Lawyers for Simpson and his codefendant, who is also black, charged that African Americans were being systematically excluded after the prosecution removed the lone black panelist who had been in contention for the jury.

The defense renewed those accusations after prosecutors used another challenge to dismiss an African American from the pool of alternates. The remaining six alternates include two black men. [...]

“There has been no evidence to me that the state has made a purposeful discriminatory effort to eliminate African American jurors,” the judge said, noting that two black alternates remain.

Simpson stared at the judge as she spoke. He appeared intensely involved in the selection of the panel, poring over jury questionnaires and whispering to his attorneys as they finalized their decisions.

So just to recap, let’s go over once again just why we are in yet another courtroom trying to figure out if OJ is guilty or not guilty:

Simpson, 61, faces a dozen charges stemming from the alleged robbery of two sports memorabilia dealers in a casino hotel room a year ago. Prosecutors contend he organized a raiding party of six men, some armed, to rob the dealers. Simpson says he was trying to recover items stolen from him and did not see any weapons.

A man who accompanied him, Clarence Stewart, also faces charges.

On BTR Today yesterday, we discussed whether or not OJ would get a fair trial or whether the stigma of his previous trial for the murder of his ex-wife Nicole Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman would remain, perhaps prompting jurors to “get it right this time.”  I don’t know.  I think you’ve always got the chance of some renegade trying to sneak onto the jury, a person who believes OJ got away with it the last time and who is determined to try and put him behind bars for something, anything, this go around.

What’s that?  Do I think he was guilty last time?  Oh, without a doubt.  And I think he’s guilty this time too, but he’s still trying his best to pull that same old tired OJ schtick…the All-American Football Hero act, complete with the “golly gee, I didn’t know this might be wrong” look on his face.  It might have fooled a few people last time, Juice, but it’s done gone stale and moldy, like a glass of orange juice left out too long.

In the meantime, the circus around the courthouse continues, as our own Shaun O’Mac can testify…also on yesterday’s show we discussed how he managed to finally get a seat in the courtroom yesterday morning, only to have the court call a recess ten minutes after he got in there.  Poor guy!  Well, at least he could go outside and watch the circus performers, laugh at the people dressed up in caveman suits, or quench his thirst with a cool, refreshing glass of free orange juice.  Because that’s what the legal system is all about.

Not gonna lie, this whole thing confuses me. Well, just the part that doesn’t understand why OJ seems to always think he is above the law, that is.

Have fun, you crazy kids! And if you find the real killer, let us know, okay? Coz I know you’re still looking. And save me a cup of free orange juice. Blogging really depletes your fluids and I just ran out of coffee.

 

O.J. Simpson has a girlfriend.  Yes, O.J. Simpson has a girlfriend.  I know, it’s really unbelievable that a female, who is also human, is willing to be in the company of a lady-killer, and when I say lady-killer, well I think you know what I’m saying.

Dlisted posted these pictures.  Some were comparing O.J.’s current  galpal Christie Prody (above) to his slain wife Nicole Brown Simpson. 

I found some pics of Nicole, did some side by side comparisons, and !WOW! his new gal is a real find.  I mean seriously, I bet he found her somewhere, and I bet when she saw her client was O.J., she lowered her price.  Because let’s face it, you have to have a real self-esteem problem to date O.J. Simpson. 

And what does it say about O.J. that he found a low-rent version of his ex-wife?  The ex-wife whose head he tried to cut off?

I am not trying to be macabre, but does no one see a problem with this situation?  Although on the bright-side, at least his new girlfriend has a pulse.

For now…..

O.J. Simpson is now sitting in a Nevada jail awaiting his fate, as our infallible legal justice system once again determines his future in conjunction with charges stemming from his arrest for armed robbery.

The powers that be are currently trying to decide whether O.J. Simpson is a flight risk. Crazy as it may seem, there are some people who may have forgotten a famous afternoon in L.A. when the Juice was loose in a white Bronco.

There’s a nagging question to all of this “sports memorabilia, armed robbery nonsense” that keeps running through my mind. Did O.J. really think he could walk into a room, commit a crime and walk away? Did he think no one would recognize him? Was his first (and protracted) encounter with the law so much fun he wanted to see if he could get away with it again? You know how those crazy thrill-seekers are. Sure, cutting off a couple heads is a good time, but where’s the fun? You just have to keep out-doing yourself.

Or, it could be, Simpson is systematically (though bizarrely) trying to rid himself of his guilt for being a homicidal maniac. That might explain the book, If I Did It. Ostensibly, O.J. wrote that piece of garbage for money. But let’s face it, an innocent person wouldn’t admit to a crime for money, no matter how much. Not too mention the fact that he had to know the money would go to his victims’ families, as is stipulated by the civil trial he lost. A book admitting guilt, written in the hypothetical and no money — this could be O.J.’s first effort.

Perhaps he thought he could get tour the world telling his hypothetically tale of murder. Sort of like going to confession without any penance. But, as any sane person could have predicted, this backfired on him driving him to armed robbery. Again, it’s not like he wasn’t going to get caught, because let’s face it, O.J. is nothing if not easily recognized. So why commit a crime you will be caught and punished for? Because you WANT to get caught and punished. Maybe O.J. feels if he is punished and sent to jail, he may find some peace for his tormented mind.

O.J. Simpson may be forever branded a cold-hearted killer, but he once was a beloved and deeply revered public figure. As difficult as it is to believe, even O.J. must feel some remorse for his actions. Isn’t is possible that at age 60 (that’s practically a senior citizen) he sees he’s at his end of days and wants to repent in some way?

So with all this conjecture, my theory has emerged. A theory of a remorse-filled O.J., who has been driven to desperation out of deep-seated guilt, and a need to be caught and punished.

Nah, he’s probably just an enormous dumbass.