All you tweenyboppers and young thangs so infatuated with hot star Orlando Bloom? Yeah, you might want to rethink that…if you’re into not stinking up the room, that is:

“Miranda thinks Orlando is too smelly. Recently, she asked him if he could wash his clothes and perhaps shower more often.”

When he’s not working on a film, the Pirates of the Caribbean star, 31, “goes days without washing his clothes,” adds the source. “He’ll wear the same jeans for a week before he throws them in the washer. Same goes for his sweaters, T-shirts and socks.”

It doesn’t help that he sleeps with his dog, Sidi, and lets her slobber all over him.

Since Miranda, 24, told him to clean up his act, Orlando has been trying. But, says the source, he’s told friends “he doesn’t know if this relationship will last.”

Okay, I’ll be the first one to admit that I personally believe that we are a bit too germophobic as a society at large (and this from someone who deals with OCD). All this antibacterial this and that is just helping to breed supergerms that will someday destroy us all.

Having said that…I shower every day (even if it is at noon), I wash my hands after I go potty, I do my laundry, and I change my socks and unders at least once a day. Because BO is a no-no. And if Orlando thinks that a supermodel is going to stick around with him and overlook his skidmarks and nasty pits and cruddy socks that stand in the corner on their own, he’s got another think coming. I know he likes being “green”, but you can find “green” laundry detergent and soaps and grooming products.

I mean, for some women that stuff might be a turn-on, but they tend to not shave their legs and eat only organic vegan soybeans and pick their toenails with their teeth and read via candlelight and live on houseboats that sink once a day. I can’t see Orlando doing that. For me, nothing says “This relationship is going nowhere” like week-old pit stains or wearing the same clothes day after day (which he has been photographed doing).

Yeah, think about that the next time you gaze at that poster of Will Turner on your wall. It’s more authentic than you thought…pirates don’t smell like Axe Touch, you know!

TMZ is reporting that actor Orlando Bloom will not be charged in the October 12 accident that injured his passengers:

In the D.A.’s Charge Evaluation Worksheet, the D.A. states that they are declining to prosecute the “Pirates of the Caribbean” star because of “insufficient evidence.”

According to the document, Bloom “was being pursued by 4 vehicles containing paparazzi and one vehicle containing fans.” Bloom “took evasive action resulting in a collision.”

As for walking away, they say he “walked approximately 60 feet from the scene in an apparent attempt to avoid paparazzi’s continued pursuit.” They say “[Bloom] was not D.U.I. but was dazed.”

Also, they report that “[T]he investigating officer tells TMZ the driver of a car that did not make contact with another vehicle could still be prosecuted for hit and run if that driver caused the crash.”

Interesting.  I have no doubt that he was being pursued by the paps.  But a vehicle containing fans?  That seems kind of stupid.  At least paps are doing a job (even though it can be an annoying job), but fans?  That’s just dumb.  I mean, it’s an actor.  What do they think he’s going to do?

And I find “insufficient evidence” amusing.  Of course there would be.  They didn’t give him a field sobriety test or a breathalyzer at the hospital.  I also wonder which tape they watched, because on the one I have seen he is leaving the scene of the accident and is talked back to the scene by photogs.  I’d greatly love to see the other video involved, but I wonder if that will ever be released.  Doubt it.

All in all, Orlandy is extremely lucky on this one.  Maybe he’ll learn from this and hire a driver from now on.  Don’t tempt fate twice, Will Turner!

(seriously…somebody tell me what is so attractive about this guy???)

The latest twist in the Orlando Bloom accident is that the police are now submitting the case to the L.A. County D.A.’s office, who will then make a decision on whether to file hit-and-run charges against the actor:

Bloom crashed a car into a parked Porsche just after 2:00 AM Friday. He walked away from the crash, leaving two passengers inside the car, one injured with a fractured neck. X17 shot video of Bloom walking from the scene. Several photogs then told Bloom he’d be in big trouble if he kept walking, and Bloom turned back and asked if someone would call an ambulance — suggesting he would call an ambulance — suggesting he did not call 911 before leaving the scene. That would be an important factor in deciding if this were a hit and run.

Orlando claims that an SUV, presumably one driven by paparazzi, cut him off and caused the crash.  Police are interviewing photographers who were at the scene, and apparently there are also surveillance cameras filming at the time of the accident.  You can watch the video shot by the paparazzi here.

If there were surveillance cameras going, presumably on buildings around the area, they will show what the pap’s video did not…what exactly happened at the time of the accident and what Orlando did immediately afterward.  The paparazzi video starts as Orlando is walking away from the scene.  It is only when photographers intervened and told him that he could be charged with hit-and-run did he turn around and return to the scene.

As he returns to the accident, you can see him fiddling with his cell phone, but it is unclear what he was doing.  At no point does he put the phone to his ear to make a call.  He does not appear to be overly impaired at the scene of the accident, although he was not issued a standard sobriety test either at the scene or the hospital.  Video of Orlando and his friends before the accident appear to show him appearing at least tipsy.

My personal feelings on this are well-known…he attempted to walk away from the scene of an accident.  Whether he caused it or not, I don’t know.  But he did make a series of decisions that night which led to the accident, one of which was getting behind the wheel to start with.  That would not have stopped a pap van causing the accident, if that is what happened (and we have no proof yet that it did), but it would have lessened it.  These people have money the average person can only dream of…they can afford to hire a driver for their nights of partying.  Hey, if Paris can figure that out, I’m sure Orlando can.  It only takes one bad decision to create a lifetime of heartache, and this accident could have been a lot worse.

You can read the series of posts on this here.

The saga continues.

Apparently, Orlando Bloom is now actively under investigation by the LAPD for a possible hit and run:

The Los Angeles Police Department is looking into the possibility movie actor Orlando Bloom committed a hit-and-run last week, TMZ.com said Tuesday. […] Fashion stylist Cher Coulter, who was sitting in the backseat of the car Bloom was driving, suffered a fractured neck when he allegedly crashed the car into a parked Porsche.He then began walking away from the scene, TMZ.com said, noting X17 has video of paparazzi repeatedly urging Bloom to return to the scene, which he finally did.During an interview with police, Bloom said an SUV with paparazzi cut him off and caused the crash.The LAPD said they are investigating that possibility as well.

Bloom was not given a field sobriety test following the accident.

When asked why, one detective said the decision whether to administer one is an officer’s subjective judgment call.

TMZ.com said Bloom’s representatives did not respond to its request for a comment.

Perhaps it was the friendly officer shaking hands with Orlando who made the “subjective judgment call”.

But wait, there’s more…

X17 has posted unedited video of Orlando Bloom’s accident on Thursday night.  For all the people who said that there is no way Orlando would walk off and leave his friends injured, I invite you to look at the footage shot that night.

Apparently, the police have been in touch with the X17 photo agency, who told LAPD that they did not witness the accident (too far back in the parade).   There are reports of another vehicle which may have caused the accident.  However, Orlando and his party were caught making a few illegal U-turns that night, and almost hit another car earlier while attempting a turn.

And now TMZ is reporting that Orlando may get off scot-free.

Before they left the club, you can see the blonde in the back seat (Cher Coulter) lying down, probably on the reclined rear seat.  She did not have on a seat belt.  California law requires a seat belt for all passengers.  It is unclear if she raised the seat and put on her seat belt before the accident.

You can, again, clearly see Orlando leaving the scene of the accident.  He pulls his hood over his head and says, “Guys.”  He is clearly walking away and leaving until the photographers stopped him.  He looks surprised that he could be charged with a hit and run, and I believe that is what made him return to his vehicle.

When he arrives back at his car, you can clearly see the girl in the back is holding her head and she has been bleeding.  His passenger is also holding her neck (apparently the seat belt cut her neck).  Wounds to the front of the face/forehead bleed practically immediately and profusely…I know because I had a similar injury in a car accident.

You also see him later taking something out of his other friend’s hand and pop it into his mouth…a mint, perhaps?  Was he trying to cover up something?  It was reported earlier in the night that he had the smell of alcohol on his breath.

X17 says this:

As X17 previously reported, an X17 eyewitness saw Orlando at the Green Door Lounge earlier that night at “a table that had Grey Goose.” Our source also noted that Orlando not only “was drinking a clear beverage” the entire night, but that he “definitely stumbled on his way out to the car” while leaving. This behavior was highly unusual for Orlando, whose demeanor is typically much different.

If drinking, or drinking this much, is indeed “highly unusual” for Orlando, perhaps he was not used to having that quantity of alcohol in his system.  In video shot before the accident, all three seem somewhat tipsy, at least; in video shot after the accident, he does not appear outwardly drunk in what we can see and hear (admittedly you can’t hear much).  However, there is no way that you can tell if a person has had too much to drink just by looking at them, as OK has reported happened that night with the LAPD.

But some signs perhaps are obvious.  Perez Hilton posted this email that he received on his site:

Update: Uh oh. This is not looking good.

A friend of ours just emailed us the following….

“Just got in a HUGE ACCIDENT right outside my bldg! Woke me up!! So loud.

He’s super drunk. Paparazzi, police everywhere. Girl in his psngr side on ground. Hurt badly. He’s really drunk!”

I don’t have any sort of personal problem with Orlando Bloom.  Before this happened I didn’t pay much attention to him.  Therefore, I don’t have any sort of personal stake in saying what many construe to be untrue and derogatory things about him.  I am simply reporting what has been reported elsewhere, and offering my opinions on what I see on the video.

Drinking and driving is a serious thing.  Leaving the scene of an accident is a serious thing.  To excuse Orlando Bloom’s actions that night is deplorable.  Even if he had not been drinking (and by all accounts, he had been, but let’s just say he hadn’t for the sake of argument), he attempted to leave the scene of an accident with injury.  He did come back, but had the photographer not stopped him, would he have returned?

The simple facts remain:  Orlando Bloom was not issued a standard field breathalyzer test, nor was he issued one at the hospital; he attempted to leave the scene of an accident, and not only an accident but one with injuries.  It is all on video….all you have to do is watch it.

(There is video at the end.)

More details are coming to light concerning the accident Thursday night involving actor Orlando Bloom and two passengers, one of whom is reported to have been celebrity stylist Cher Coulter.  Compiled from various sources, here is the rundown of what happened that night:

• According to X17, Orlando was spotted at restaurant Ita Cho at around 10 PM.
• Later, he went to a club named Green Door, where he was spotted with a bottle of Grey Goose vodka.  At around 2 AM, a witness saw him “definitely stumbling” on his way out of the club, and even saw him take a shot.
• Orlando had an intense discussion with a man (identified by TMZ as fashion photographer Damon Kidwell) in the front seat of a car.  There was a woman with her head in her hands in the back seat.  Orlando was overheard to say, “I didn’t realize he was your boyfriend!”  TMZ reports that her name is Veronica Taylor, and that Orlando had acted “inappropriately” towards her in the club.  Orlando and Kidwell had words about the event.  You can see this video here.
• When Orlando gave a paparazzi the car keys that the photographer had dropped, one of the other photographers thought he could smell alcohol on his breath.
• Orlando got into the Matrix’s passenger seat.  There was a brunette woman in the driver’s seat and a blonde woman in the back, passed out or lying down (Coulter).
• They drove west on Sunset, turned around, went east on Sunset, pulled over, and Orlando got in the driver’s seat.
• Orlando is driving at this point.  He made a sudden U-turn on Fountain and almost hit another car.  He tried to make a left turn onto Vista when he hit the parked Porsche Cayenne.
• Orlando at that point began walking away from the scene of the crash.  However, another photographer on the scene talked him into returning to the crashed car.  A few minutes later emergency crews arrived.

Now, it is clear from both video and from these accounts that Orlando did in fact attempt to leave the scene of the accident.  A photographer who was following him had this to say:

“I jumped out of my car after everyone suddenly stopped,” our photog reports. “As I was the fourth car behind him, I didn’t know a crash occurred. As I got out of the car, I saw Orlando get out of his. He got out of the driver’s side door. He was clearly driving. Right away he cut over to the sidewalk and started walking away from the car. He was walking west.”

At this point, the paparazzi start pointing out that he shouldn’t leave the scene and that he needed to take care of the situation; Orlando paused for a moment - in our photog’s words, the actor “sort of gave a shrug of acknowledgement” - and headed back to the scene of the accident. Once there, he started attending to the woman in the back seat; our photog reports that she “was bleeding bad. Orlando helped her out of the back seat with the other woman. But she couldn’t walk. She was staggering so they put her down on the street.”

But wait, there’s more…

TMZ is reporting actor Orlando Bloom crashed a friend’s car last night within 15 minutes of leaving LA club Green Door. There’s also a strange video of him getting into a car of some guy apparently discussing the man’s wife, and Orlando’s apparent lack of knowledge that she was betrothed to said man. Who knows what really went down?

What we do know is, Orlando was driving a black Toyota Matrix registered to a Dariusz Wolski, listed as the Photography Director for Pirates of The Carribbean? Weirdness. Orlando was seen leaving with two women, who seemed to be friends/minders as they were continuously calling Orlando to get out the car of the man whom he was “discussing” the “wife matter” with. Crazy.

Then, a few short minutes later, Orlando hits a parked Porsche Cayenne (some kind of SUV) after another car cut him off. Worse yet, there are reports that Orlando attempted to walk away from the accident, despite one his passengers being injured and bleeding. Paps told him he best be hoofing it back to the accident or lest he be charged with “leaving the scene of an accident,” which he wisely did. From the TMZ report:

LAPD tells us that one of Bloom’s passengers suffered a fractured neck and the other was cut by her seat belt.

In video taken immediately following this morning’s accident, Bloom can be seen walking away from the scene, leaving two women — one injured and bleeding — in his smashed-up ride. Nice guy!

After walking down the block, the paparazzi repeatedly advise Bloom to go back to the accident scene and “deal with it,” saying that if he leaves, it could be a hit and run. That’s major trouble! Bloom thinks twice, turns around and walks back to the car.

In a later report, LAPD are insisting that no alcohol or drugs were involved, but they also state that no test were given at the scene. Here’s that report:

Police tell TMZ that they’ve determined actor Orlando Bloom was not drunk or under the influence of drugs at the time of the accident. Police tell us that they did not administer a blood alcohol test at the scene, and would not say if one was given at all. But, they insist he was not under the influence.

I suppose we will learn more as the day goes on. Although, I will be not shocked, but certainly saddened to discover Orlando would walk away from the scene of an accident and leave his friends injured and bleeding behind. If he wasn’t drinking or on drugs, then why the hurry to get out there? Suspicious!

Maybe he was trying to off himself after being accused of dating Jessica Simpson. I know I would!