Okay, don’t answer that.  I really, really don’t want to know.

Yes, it’s spring, and that’s the time when people’s fancies turn to cleaning out the house of all the junk that has accumulated over the past umpteen years.  it seems that stars aren’t immune to this, because over the weekend permatanned Pamela Anderson held a garage sale where you could pick up some, um, unmentionables (and I really do mean unmentionable):

Pamela Anderson has been selling off just about everything from one of her two homes in Los Angeles. We’re talking light bulbs, a hot pink butt blaster exercise machine, bedroom furniture, children’s toys — even used lingerie!

The garage sale took place over the weekend at Pam’s rented Malibu home with all proceeds going to the animal charity PETA. 

Eager fans wanting to grab a piece of Pam’s past waited hours in line for the sale to begin and were shuttled in vans to her house after meeting in a public parking lot deep in Malibu. Most buyers were avid estate shoppers or fans of the former Baywatch babe who just wanted a glimpse of her house. One buyer said, “I just want to see how rich people live.” […]

And like every good celebrity, Pam was milking the pr stunt for all it was worth. The entire thing was being filmed for her reality show on E! to premiere this summer.

Is there no d-lister that E! won’t put on a reality show?  First Denise Richards (who was Pammie’s co-star in some forgettable movie released some time that I forgot about), and now this.

Expect to see many of Pam’s former belongings on eBay.

It is interesting to see that she’s trying to raise money for PETA, seeing as how she uses makeup, hair dye, collagen injections, and breast implants, some or all of which were possibly tested on animals at some point.  Because she’s never do anything that would hurt animals.  Like serving pigs in a blanket at her wedding reception (along with tuna and lobster).  Or wearing a leather corset in Barb Wire.  Or act in a movie with an animal in it (because, you know, it’s just wrong), especially not one with a bear chained up in an ice cream truck.  Or go to the circus.  Or wear Uggs.  Or possibly fix a “problem”.  Twice.  (that we know of)

(thx Deceiver for the research help…moar caeks for you)

Oh, those crazy celebrities.  They just can’t remember what they said or did and they have such a hard time keeping their stories straight.  But, by gosh, they are celebrities, so they should be totally exempt from having to stick to their stories, right?

Case in point:  Pamela Anderson, who has long been a champion for the animal rights group PETA (I won’t do the tasty animals joke, been done to death, no pun intended).  She recently refused to act in a scene in her new movie, Superhero Movie, because there was a dog in it (PETA doesn’t believe animals should be in movies, homo sapiens excluded of course):

The animal rights campaigner was upset when she discovered she would be starring alongside the canine in Superhero Movie, because the scene goes against Peta’s guidelines for using real animals in movies.

A movie insider said: “Pamela left the set and went for a walk. She needed a time out. She was that upset.”

In the scene, Pamela’s Invisible Girl character was required to call for her Invisible Dog, who only becomes visible as it is picked up by the busty blonde.

So what was she doing munching on a hot dog at her son’s ball game?

She is clearly eating a hot dog at her son’s ball game. Since Pam makes a big deal out of being a vegetarian, it reflects badly on her commitment. Recently Pam refused to ACT in a scene with a dog because PETA doesn’t believe live animals should be in movies. (Apparently they prefer humans to dress up as animals.) Needless to say, the director of her “Superhero Movie” was not thrilled. And Pam has been critical of other actors like Jason Alexander, who endorses KFC. So this hot dog IS a very big deal. PETA tried to defend Pam by claiming it was a tofu dog - but since when do they sell THOSE at kid’s ball games?

I don’t know.  The last time I went to one of my kids’ sporting events, they had all sorts of healthy vegetarian food there.  Tofu dogs in whole wheat buns, soyburgers on pita bread, organically produced nacho cheese made with soy milk, nachos made with organic corn, popcorn grown in a biosphere and picked by hand.  We’re progressive here in the flyover states.  I’m telling you, the possibilities were endless.  And so tasty, too!

I think we need to give Pammie a little breathing room, here.  After all, this is the woman who didn’t realize that Uggs were actually made of sheepskin.  Maybe she didn’t realize that hot dogs are meat.  But then, if you’ve ever seen the movie The Great Outdoors with the late, great John Candy, you know what hot dogs are made out of.

I’m just sayin’.

Sorry there’s been a bit of lag in celeb reporting lately…I took Good Friday off and then, over the weekend, the flu hit.  I managed to avoid it for almost the whole flu season, but it finally found me.  I’m still a bit shaky and wobbly and icky and bedheaded and feverish, but I’ll try to get some new stuff up for your reading and voyeuristic pleasure.  Keep watching, it’ll be between periods of laying in bed and moaning. </shameless plea for sympathy>

So speaking of beds, moaning, and nasty viruses that turn your body into a disease-riddled shell of its former self…the annulment of Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon’s marriage came through:

The marriage was annulled on grounds of fraud. Initially, when Pam filed legal papers back in December, she was asking for a straight divorce. But on February 22, documents were filed asking for an annulment, citing fraud.

Sources tell TMZ both Rick and Pam privately stipulated to fraud — that Pam promised Rick they would have children together. As we reported, Pam was pregnant at the time the couple separated. Shortly after the separation, we learned Pam was no longer pregnant. Subsequently both Rick and Pam filed annulment papers.

Oh yeah, those famous disappearing babies of Pam’s.  As I recall, she tried this with Kid Rock, too…calling him when she was in Canada filming Blonde and Blonder with Denise Richards (boycott!) saying she was having a miscarriage, and when he skipped his basketball game (floor seats for the Lakers, mind you) and rushed to be at her side, she was partying without a care in the world.

And I love the way they say she was “no longer pregnant”.  So, was she never pregnant to start with, or was she pregnant and made a little visit to a clinic?  I’m voting for the former, although the latter wouldn’t surprise me.  Hey, Pam, you can count to fourteen, right?  And Rick…they’re called condoms, use ‘em.

You gotta love Hollywood.  An annulment.  It’s like it never happened…except for those of us in the blogosphere.  We do not forget.  Expect us.

(oh wait, that’s a completely different category)

We here at GlossLip are not immune to the plethora of lovey-dovey sentiments that rain down on Valentine’s Day (or, as it is more commonly known, The Day Card, Chocolate, And Flower Companies Recoup All Their Losses For The Year Day).  So, we decided to see just which Conversation Hearts our favorite celebs might be receiving this V-Day.

And yes, these are actual sayings off actual Conversation Hearts that I purchased at an actual store and am actually munching on now.  I have sat here and laboriously picked through them, searching for just the right ones, drawing from a bowl purchased specifically for this auspicious occasion.  Oh, the sacrifices I make for my art.

But wait, there’s more…

Why yes, I did go there.

TMZ reported Pam Anderson is NO longer pregnant. Gee, what a freaking shock. It’s not like I didn’t predict this very thing on our Glosslip entertainment segment for BTRToday. If you will recall, Pammy did the same thing to her second husband, from her other marriage which lasted approximately 30 seconds to Kid Rock.

As I recall, Pam told Kid Rock she was pregnant and then called him hysterical and jealous from Toronto stating she was having a miscarriage. Kid flies out to see her and finds her partying and having a grand old time. Her excuse, she was just kidding.

Fast forward to September 2007 and Pam hooks up with smut-peddler and Paris Hilton’s ex-boyfriend Rick Salomon after he offers to bail her out of a gambling bet in exchange for sex. Pam, being a total whore, agrees, then chooses to marry him, files for divorce, retracts divorce filing, claims to be pregnant and BAM! suddenly isn’t pregnant anymore. Guess the divorce is back on!

I just have to say there is something really annoying about women who use their ability to reproduce as an excuse to manipulate men, either by lying about being pregnant or actually getting pregnant as a way of entrapment. Children aren’t toys or inanimate objects. But Pam is an idiot. If I were Rick I’d be glad to be rid of her STD riddled carcass. He’s actually the bigger prize of that union. Blech!

Also, in ridiculous Hollywood news, Eddie Murphy and his ex-wife by “symbolic union” of exactly two weeks, Tracey Edmonds, have officially split up. Why? Because Eddie Murphy likes men who dress up like women and was clearly confused. Oh, and I guess because her kids (from her marriage to Ken “Babyface” Edmonds) think he’s a total a**hole.

Can’t say as I disagree, Eddie seems like a major douche.

Seriously, I have milk in my fridge with a longer shelf life than these Hollywood marriages.

Pamela “ma boobs are bigger than ma brain” Anderson is pregnant. I have no clue who the dad is, but it’s anyone’s guess at this point. According to TMZ, she’s not only pregnant, but is also going ahead with her divorce from third husband Rick Salomon. The couple were married in October and after 68 days of marriage Pam filed for divorce, only to retract her filing a couple days later stating she and Rick were “trying to work things out.”

Whatever, that poor kid is doomed, between Pammy’s hep C and Rick Salomon’s herpes the poor little baby doesn’t have a chance. Let’s pray for a miracle.

More importantly, didn’t Pam claim she was pregnant while married to Kid Rock and use this information to make him fly to Canada when she was filming that lame movie with Denise Richards, only to then lie and say she had a miscarriage/wasn’t pregnant to begin with or some such sh*t?

These people are such attention whores. And regular whores for that matter. How much you want to bet she isn’t even pregnant? Like a conception could possibly take place in a toxic waste dump!

Pam is one classy broad.

But not in the last ten years.

Pam Anderson, who just last month (after 68 days of marriage?) filed for divorce from her creepy sex-tape peddling hubby Rick Salomon, was in Vegas alone for New Year’s eve hosting PURE nightclub’s NYE event. Pam is struggling to find her inner (or outer for that matter) beauty and looks like she’s suffering from some post-holiday constipation. That is some painful nonsense to deal with.

Anyway, I just love her “look at me, I am trying to be sexy, but failing miserably” pose she has on. Pammy retracted her “divorce” filing and stated on her blog she and Rick were trying to work things out. More like trying to save face. The two haven’t been seen together much over the holidays and it’s almost a guarantee they are just waiting it out for a couple more months, you know, just to make it seem less skanky for them hooking up for sex, and Pam thinking an orgasm = marriage.

Pam has stated 2008 will be a banner year for the former Baywatch hottie:

“I have so many great projects – for the environment, for animals. I’m going to be proud of every single day – and make sure I do not veer from the path. Stay focused.”

Pam, I have a suggestion on how you can be proud, stay focused and not veer from your “path.” Don’t marry every harry hanging one that comes along. Do like Lindsay Lohan, eff ‘em and leave ‘em without bothering to catch a name!

Where’s my Shocked crayon, because that’s what you’re going to have to color me.  I’m just shocked, I tell ya!

No, apparently Pam and her third hubby, Rick Salomon, couldn’t make it work, despite giving it a whopping seventy-two days of effort:

According to court documents first obtained by CelebTV.com, the former Playboy Playmate has filed for divorce against her husband of just over two months.

On Dec. 14, Anderson filed a claim for dissolution of marriage, citing irreconcilable differences.

Anderson, 40, and Salomon, 39, a longtime pal, tied the knot on Oct. 6 at the Mirage Hotel Las Vegas. It was the third marriage for both.

Another Hollywood photo op publicity stunt pathetic attempt at grabbing headlines marriage bites the dust.  Such a good example for their children, are these wonderful, exlemplary parents.  It really shows the kids the meaning of compromise, working through one’s differences, and making absolutely sure one wants to make this level of commitment.  I aspire one day to be just like Pam.

Well, without the hepatitis, of course.

That’s probably what sunk the marriage…their respective diseases didn’t get along.

EDITED TO ADD:  According to the NY Daily News, Pam posted a note on her website that says they are “working things out”.  Who knows what’s going on in Pammy’s head?  All I know is that this is twice now she’s married and filed for divorce in a fast hurry.  Whether she goes through with it remains to be seen, but she seems to view her marriages as disposable as a used lipstick.

Ever wonder what your favorite celebrity wears for Halloween?  Wonder no more, we here at GlossLip have scoured the world searching for your favorite star trick-or-treater!  See who gets the good candy after the jump!

But wait, there’s more…

Dear k:
Could you please tell your readers that I am not pregnant?  kthxbai
xoxo Pam

So there, I’ve done my civic duty for the day.  Don’t expect me to do something like donate blood or donate to a homeless shelter now.  One person can only do so much, I can’t save the world.

Pammy confirmed to Robin Leach (seriously?  Robin Leach, he of champagne wishes and caviar dreams?  I thought he died) that she is most definitely not in this particular club:

Sex-queen Pamela Anderson made a special plea late last night (WED) to me saying “Please tell everybody- categorically I am not pregnant” Pamela who reads Luxe Life said the internet rumors that flashed around the world yesterday began when In Touch magazine reported she was two-months pregnant.

“Its just not true” she told me when we sat alongside in neighboring VIP booths on the dance floor of the TRYST nightclub in the WYNN resort casino. “I would tell you if it was.” Pamela was celebrating her marriage last weekend with bottles of expensive Cristal champagne with four male friends including her longtime best vegas friend, former Zumanity dancer Hejus.

So there you have it.  Straight from the horse’s mouth, as it were.  Pam Anderson is definitely not pregnant.  Until such time as she is pregnant, in which case she will definitely be pregnant.  Unless she’s not.

Personally, I could care less, other than being concerned about any sort of spawn that this duo might manage to mesh together in the petri dish that is Pam’s reproductive system and Rick’s moneymaker.  I mean, between the two of them, they could populate Vegas with new strains of STD’s.  Ever read Stephen King’s The Stand?  Remember that disease?

After all, don’t forget that this is the guy who slept with Paris Hilton, and they say that you’ve slept with everyone that your partner has slept with.

So between Pam and Rick, that would calculate to…to…

clickity clickity click

Crap, my calculator exploded.