Wait, people don’t do videotape any more, do they?  Well, anyway, you get the idea.

I feel absolutely dirty even posting this link.  I seriously need a shower or something.  My OCD is kicking in and I must go wash my hands.  So while I do that, you go check out the chat between Perez Hilton and the guy whom he promised to help if he’d just send Perez some nakie stuff of himself.

I absolutely must warn you.  The language is NSFW, there are some definite NSFW photos, and I know more about little Perez than I ever wanted to know (although I’m sure he, like most other males, exaggerate).  Do not say you haven’t been warned.  Although…I’m not sure who comes across (no pun intended) as the more pathetic, JJ or Perez.

Never put anything in writing, video, or photos what you don’t want to come back to haunt you.

I’m so ending this article.

Well MY illusions have been shattered.

It would seem one Mario Lavanderia, better known as Perez Hilton, told an aspiring young blogger that he’d promote his site in exchange for some sex videos, and then bailed on him faster than you can say, “Hand me a tissue”:

Jonathan Jaxson - a former publicist and founder of gossip site JJ’s Dirt - told Page Six he sent Lavandeira sexually explicit videos of himself with the hope of Lavandeira’s help, which never materialized.

“He would tell me he would give me stories for my blog,” Jaxson, 24, said of Lavandeira, 29. “He used me.” […]

The New York Times ran a gushing puff piece on “Perez” Tuesday, reporting he gets 2.8 million visitors a month and is in talks with Warner Music for his own label because he has such a great ear for new music.

In an exchange from Sept. 1, 2007, Lavandeira told Jaxson, “you should totally make a sex tape . . . (but not with me).” Jaxson wrote back, “I will have to make one on here for you tomorrow and e-mail it to you.” Lavandeira responded, “Hot! Do it now!”

The next afternoon, Lavandeira asked Jaxson, “When are you sending me that video you promised?” Jaxson responded, “If you do a phone blog with me for my blog . . . as if I am cold calling you in attempt to get advice for my blog. You can be totally rude. I don’t want others to know we talk.”

The next day, Lavandeira asked again, “Where is that video?”

Jaxson told Page Six he sent Lavandeira videos of himself masturbating and other forms of “sex videos,” but said he only met Lavandeira in person three times - once in Florida and twice in New York.

“I fell in love with Perez. I thought he had a huge heart . . . but he’s just a [bleep]hole,” Jaxson told us. “We started working together and communicating on how to make my blog bigger. Then it got more personal and intimate.”

Hmm hmm hmm.  I mean, I’ve used Perez’s site for information before, and generally he can get some good dirt on celebs, but this is something different entirely.  Is Perez the pottymouth calling the celebrity kettles black?

I mean, it could be a case of a spurned lover wanting to extract some publicity, or cash, from someone who is in a more advantageous position than they are.  But, then again…in things like this, it’s often he said, he said.  This one ought to get good.  Nobody can hold a grudge like the gays.

But there is a lesson to be learned by all you young thangs out there:  Never put on video or audio what you don’t want people to see.  Oh yeah, and people will say anything for sex.

Kind of an awkward title, huh?  But I could have said something like, “Perez Posted Britney Leaks, Zomba Sues” or “Zomba Sues, Britney Leaks On Perez Hilton” or simply “Britney Leaks On Perez, Zomba Sues”.  Be glad I went with what I did.

So anyway.  Anyone who’s been reading celebrity gossip sites for more than five minutes knows who Perez iz and has seen him posting leaked Britney music on his site.  Sometimes they’ve been full songs, sometimes they’ve been demos, and they are always accompanied by Perez’s scathing commentary and a scribbled-on JPEG of Brit.  And Zomba, who owns the copyrights to the songs and is owned itself by parent company Jive, is not happy about it:

Zomba sued PerezHilton.com for copyright infringement today (Oct. 11), saying the gossip Web site illegally posted recordings by Britney Spears. The suit, filed in U.S. District Court in Los Angeles, accused the site and its proprietor, Mario Lavandeira, of illegally obtaining and posting at least 10 completed songs and unfinished demos. […]

“Blackout” was scheduled to be released on Nov. 13 by Zomba parent Jive but yesterday was moved up to Oct. 30, due to the leaks.

Thus far, Perezzle has had no comment, but I can’t see it staying that way for long.

So Perezito once again has his behind in a sling, huh?  Personally, I think he likes it there (no, not for that reason, get your mind out of the gutter…but who knows, he might…okay, so let’s not go there) because it means loads of free publicity for his site and his VH1 specials.  What’s not to like?

And, let’s just face the facts…those leaked tracks he was posting weren’t all that great.  Honestly.  For example, the only thing “Gimme More” has going for it is a hook and a catchy beat.  It might be enough to stick in my head and drive me crazy at the most inopportune moments, and make me drive nails into my head trying to get it to shut up, but that isn’t enough to compel me to go buy the CD.  I was curious as to what the song sounded like, but I wasn’t a twenty-buck CD worth of curious.

So, in a way, The Perezinator is doing everyone a public service by posting these tracks.  The two or three people who do like it can then go buy the entire CD, and the multitude of people who decide they hate it are saving Jive the trouble of settling lawsuits brought on by busted eardrums, migraine headaches, and rabid pets caused by the noise crap drivel music.

Nothing!! All is right in the world. Hugh’s with hot young ladies 1/5 his age, and some big goofball with orange hair is standing next to them.

Seriously though, I wonder what happened to Perez’s eye? Do you think he was assaulted by a celeb while posting at his favorite coffee shop? I was always curious about how he avoided the chronic beatdown, seeing as how he hangs out at the same place everyday and talks some smack about his neighbors in La La Land.

He probably ran into a door. Yeah, that’s it.

Get better soon P-Nasty!

Some people ask “What does Kate Moss see in this guy?” and to that I say “What doesn’t she?”

According to Starpulse, the super-sexy, ultra-delicious metrosexually groomed Pete Doherty is ready to be clean and sober - for the 15th time. While in court today for review of his drug-treatment progress Petey had this to say about getting clean:

“The people I’m closest to have had enough. They’ve said it’s drugs or them. A lot has changed in the past week.”

Just in time too. From the looks of it, he was about to be condemned and torn down for being a health hazard. Seriously, is there anything more repulsive that this guy? Don’t answer that, because if there is, I don’t want to know about it.

Which is worse: being discriminated against for being gay by non-gays, or being outed and harassed by members of the gay community?  At least one can blame ignorance for their shameful behavior.

The National Enquirer, the tabloid magazine known for its veracity and integrity, has a forthcoming article quoting a former male model named Kerrick Ross who states he had sexual relations with Larry Birkhead.  Of course Perez Hilton, who is likely frothing at the mouth at this news has all the info. 

To summarize, the ex-model claims back in 2000 before becoming the private photographer of Anna Nicole Smith, Larry Birkhead carried on a 10-month affair with Ross.  Ross who was “out”, claims Birkhead wanted to keep the relationship private due to religious opposition from his Southern Baptist family.  Ross goes on to state that after the relationship ended he learned that Larry had been dating another man before the two began dating, and he was also dating women too.

And my feelings about this are: who cares?  So what if he’s bi, gay, or asexual.  Does this make him any less Dannielynn’s father?  No.  Does being gay or bi make him an unfit parent?  Not automatically.  Birkhead’s ability to be a good dad will become apparent in the days, weeks, months and years ahead.  So far though, he has proven to possess two essential qualities to being a great dad: patience and determination. Unless Birkhead had made a point of his swaggering heterosexual prowess, I see no issue here.  So he likes chicks and d*cks.  Good for him.  It would be really refreshing to see a great dad who is also a gay male model citizen. Something you don’t see enough in the media.

I find Perez Hilton’s overzealous need to out gays to be more harmful than the occasional hateful comment that flies out of the mouths of the ignorant.  When a person from within your own community is eager to condemn your lifestyle (and their own) through salacious innuendo and implied deception, then that speaks volumes about how they feel about themselves and fellow members of the community. Clearly Perez Hilton’s desire to find flaws in those who may or may not be gay stems from self-loathing and shame over his own lifestyle. Get over yourself.

Most Americans don’t really care who is or who isn’t gay, just so long as they conduct themselves with some dignity and respect for themselves and others.  Perez has become the ringleader of a growing population of finger-pointers who feel it necessary to humiliate and destroy public figures for their private choices in regards to sexuality. 

I am much more interested in how they conduct themselves across the board, than their private proclivities.  Ewww, who needs to know that stuff?

Picture source OK! Weekly via TMZ

I love how gays can’t leave other gays alone.

Out Magazine’s lastest issue published a bold list of high profile gays titled “The Power 50, The Most Powerful Gay Men and Women In America.” Some are openly gay, like comedian Ellen Degeneres, financial expert Suze Orman (who only recently came out as gay) and Congressman Barney Frank, and of course, the ultra-sexy gossip gangsta Perez Hilton (Mario Laviendera) who is ranked at No. 17. Awesome!

That’s all well and good, because well, those people have stated they are gay, and as such, clearly don’t mind being considered gay. But what I find truly WRONG — on so many levels — is that they put two people on the cover who haven’t come out as being gay, actress Jodie Foster and CNN anchor Anderson Cooper with the caption “The Class Closet, Why Stars Won’t Come Out And Play.”
But wait, there’s more…

Hell’s Holy Acre. 

If that isn’t the hottest couple of divas I have ever seen. 

And when I say HOT, I mean “On Fire!!,” “It Burns!!,” “Oh Dear Lord My Eyes, I Can’t See!!” “Mother Of Mercy Make It Stop”

Ok, I think I’ve made my point.

pic-Flynet

Perez Hilton, celebrity ass-kisser extraordinaire demonstrates why he never reports news on certain celebs.  Mario L. celebrates his birthday with a host of celebs, coincidentally all the same names you see him sucking up to on his piece of crap website.

I wonder when the herpes is going to take over his face and where are the pictures of him making out with Paris’ butthole?

Thank goodness I am a real journalist above such shady goings on. 

photo

Well, I must say he seems incredibly believable.  It’s almost like he was born to play this part.  In fact, some might say his entire career was a build up to this moment.  Emmy worthy dare I say?  My overall feeling about this performance?

Gay, gay and VERY VERY GAY!!!!

My favorite moment: when the celebrity types on her computer: He’s a dick.  That really worked for me. Although….I think flaming a-hole would have been slightly more appropro.