For those of you who don’t know who Katie Price is, she’s somewhat of a celebrity in Britain.  Just what she’s famous for isn’t quite clear, other than having breastesses the size of watermelons (she recently had them reduced), wearing enough makeup to cover every face in La Cage aux Follies, and marrying Peter Andre, whom she met in the jungle while filming I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here!

She also has had some television shows and written a kids’ book or two and I don’t really care enough to research this further, because it isn’t important.  What is important, however, that during a visit to Los Angeles to get the veneers on her teeth touched up (what, they don’t have dentists in London?  Oh wait…nevermind), she took her daughter, Princess Tiáamii (yes, that is her name) out for a shopping trip.  Oh, and while she was out, she managed to infect everywhere she went with chickenpox, because that’s what her daughter is sick with:

Despite medical recommendations to keep a chicken pox sufferer at home, the glamour model brought the nine-month-old baby for a day out in Beverly Hills – and her spotty appearance certainly caused a stir.

Katie Price, 29, and husband Peter Andre, 35, flew into Los Angeles with their three children Princess; Harvey, five; and Junior, two; on Friday.

The couple are filming and promoting their reality TV show, which has recently been snapped up by U.S. network E!.

During their three weeks Stateside, Katie says she hopes to take the children to Disneyland and fix her veneers at a cosmetic dental surgery.

Arriving at LAX airport, Katie admitted Princess had caught the virus from older brother Junior.

She said: “She’s covered in chicken pox. How typical.

“She’ll be alright. Junior’s just had them.”

On Sunday, the couple left Harvey and Junior with the nanny to show ailing Princess the sights of Beverly Hills.

With their reality TV crew and a horde of paparazzi following their every move, the publicity-loving pair brought ailing Princess for lunch at celebrity hangout The Ivy.

Seated outside on Robertson Boulevard in the warm LA sun, the couple kept the photographers entertained with public displays of affection in between mouthfuls.

After lunch, the pair moved on down the road to trendy boutique Kitson, where Katie spent hundreds of dollars on clothes for her children.

When poor Princess appeared to be growing ever more uncomfortable from her illness, the pair decided to bring her to a clinic in Encino, before being redirected to the Children’s Hospital in nearby Hollywood.

The couple were swiftly seen by a specialist, who prescribed Princess with medication.

Did I mention that she took the poor little girl out shopping the day before as well?  Just what a toddler with chickenpox wants to do, go to Abercrombie & Fitch.

Here’s the deal:  Chickenpox is highly contagious.  People who are sick with it are supposed to stay home until all the spots are crusted over.  In fact, you can infect others up to two days before you even know you have it yourself.  You don’t have to have contact with the infected person to catch it. You are definitely not supposed to come into contact with a pregnant woman, especially in the first 28 weeks of gestation, because of serious risks to the unborn baby.  All that, and people with chickenpox are generally achy, itchy, and miserable.  When my kids had them, the last thing they wanted to do was go shopping…the first thing they wanted to do was lay on the couch and sleep.

Well, we can just add this to the list of Bad Parenting Decisions that Katie has made.  She’s already suing a former nanny for alleging that Katie is a bad mother who, among other things, never spends time with her kids unless they are in front of a camera and who has been investigated for a scalding incident involving her oldest son Harvey (he is blind and disabled).

Yeah, I guess she and her husband did take their daughter to the doctor, but only after a day of shopping, eating at a notorious paparazzi hangout, and mugging for the cameras.  Hey, you have to take care of the important business first, before you can be bothered with little details like a sick child.

It should also be noted here that the cameras following Katie and Peter around are from E!, the network that is also bringing you the Denise Richards reality show.  You know, the mom who pimps out her daughters for fame and cash, even though their father attempted to stop it in court.  Maybe Denise and Katie could get together and trade tips on how to properly whore your kids out to the highest bidder.

Do us all a favor, Katie, and keep your kids at home while they’re sick.  Oh, and go down to the local clinic and take a free class or two on How To Properly Be A Parent.

UPDATE:  Just found this photo of little Princess having a great time at the Ivy, enjoying her lunch and making life sweeter for those who sought an overpriced lunch in a sophisticated atmosphere at a swanky upscale restaurant.

And yeah, Katie did know that her daughter had chickenpox on the flight from London:

Arriving at LAX airport, Katie admitted Princess had caught the virus from older brother Junior.

She said: “She’s covered in chicken pox. How typical.

“She’ll be alright. Junior’s just had them.”

So let’s review:

• Katie knew her daughter had chickenpox.
• Katie knew her daughter would get them, since her son had just had them (if you are the parent of more than one child, you know that what one gets, the rest eventually get).
• Katie exposed passengers on a transatlantic flight to chickenpox.
• Katie took her daughter out shopping and eating, in full view of E!’s cameras, before bothering to get her any sort of medical attention.

Oh yeah.  Mom Of The Year candidate here!

These two crackheads (which is NOT a euphemism) have recorded a new video of the two of them attempting some kind of duet,doing the same song, but now while wearing some clothes they stole from George Harrison’s corpse.

Pete’s fiddling on the guitar and Kate’s like an ugly bird sitting on his shoulder whistling and cursing. That said, of all the couples in the world, these two are the most genuine and in love, because to tell you the truth, only love (and street-grade drugs) could keep these two together. Kate’s a complete mess and I’ve seen dumpsters AND homeless gentlemen with better hygiene than Pete.

So kids, if you are watching this, let this be a lesson to you. Crack is whack and unless you want to keep singing the same sorry tune looking like a couple of toothless back alley semen receptacles, you best just lay off the pipe.

 

There are many times when I am sure we are at the end of days. 

Like when Britney declared she was the Anti-Christ, or when Angelina Jolie became a saint, and when a song of Avril Lavigne’s hit #5 on the Billboard Hot 100.  These are things that humanity, in a decent and acceptable world, should not have to face. 

But alas, even these aforementioned societal crises are nothing compared to this news:  Babyshamble’s leadsinger and the world’s-most famous-crackhead Pete Doherty, and his toothead and guttermouthed-former-supermodel-girlfriend Kate Moss, are considering throwing their hat into the baby-making ring.

The prolific Starpulse is reporting that Petey’s uncle Phil Michels has the low-down on the couple’s plans to populate the earth:

“Pete and Kate are so in love – they’re talking about starting a family together. Pete is already a doting stepfather to (Moss’ daughter) Lila Grace, and loves spending time with her. They’re setting up home together at the moment, and once that’s sorted they’ll have a massive showbiz wedding.”

Pete, who’s already a father (who knew) has a son named Astile with his former girlfriend Lisa Moorish. And the fact that I didn’t even know he had a son says it all right there about what kind of dad he will make.

So there you have it. If you’ve been putting off buying that life insurance policy or taking that once-in-a-life-time vacation, wait no more.  Because I assure that if there were a G*d who cared about this world, it has abandoned us out of complete disgust – and we are on our own.

This is possibly the sweetest thing on earth. 

Well, it would be if Pete Doherty weren’t such a crackheaded sod and Kate Moss wasn’t a coked-out whore with a mouth as filthy as a greasy pork-sandwich served on a dirty ashtray.  Seriously, I wonder if I can get that song on iTunes.  It’s a hot mess of schweetness.  Pete’s really quite tuneful and talented when his head’s not all rammed all up in his behind.  Wasted talent!