GlossLip » Pete Doherty

04/08/2008 (7:28 pm)

Pete Doherty To Spend 14 Weeks In The Pokey

Our favorite dirty crackhead, Babyshambles frontman, and Amy Winehouse’s male doppleganger, Pete Doherty has been arrested and jailed for failing to show up on time for hearings related to his probation on drugs charges.

Doherty had been given a suspended jail sentence for possession of drugs and driving illegally in October last year. His supervision order required him to make regular visits to court for progress reports, as well as take part in a drug rehabilitation programme. He was threatened with up to four months in jail if he broke the law during this period.

Do crackheads even own watches? And honestly, what do they expect a reprobate like Doherty to do? Not indulge in illicit drugs? Not be too cracked out to show up on time? Man, for every Lindsay Lohan we have here in the states, there’s like ten Pete Dohertys over in the UK. God Save The QUEEN!

The worse news in all this, besides Pete’s cat going into crack withdrawals while he’s is lockdown, is he may miss a show at the Royal Albert Hall on April 26. So, how many holes does it take to fill that place anyway?

Fortunately, Pete’s label has his back and issued this statement to fans who bought tickets to the April 26th show:

Parlophone, explained the solo show will be postponed but it “is due to be rescheduled and all tickets will be valid for the new date once it has been announced. Peter was very much looking forward to the show and would like to offer his sincerest apologies to all his fans and all those concerned”.

There should be disclaimers on all tickets sold to Pete and Amy shows which stipulate there’s only a 10% chance they will actually show up, and .0005% they won’t be to jacked to play.

True story, when I was in NY a couple of weeks ago interviewing Andrew Morton, there were these doormen at his hotel (The Bowery) who wore these Pete Doherty top hats. They had these Charles Dickensesque red overcoats and looked straight out of Oliver Twist. As I was waiting for a cab I said, to the really tall one, “Has anyone ever said you look like Pete Doherty, after a nap, rehab and industrial strength scrub?” And just as you’d expect, he said in an authentic British accent, “Yeah, it’s the top hat!” Well, it certainly wasn’t the nicotine stained fingers (this guy was cute!). He shared an Amy Winehouse encounter he had when he was back home in London, but since it didn’t involve crack or BLAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEE, why bother.

Posted by D
Filed under: Big Dummies, Crackheads, Crimes and Punishment, Pete Doherty

Comments (4)

12/10/2007 (2:39 pm)

Pete Doherty Allegedly Punched For Not Buying Drugs

Does that title even make sense? It’s like a very “special” after school program or something.

HolyMoly is reporting repeat drug offender and Babyshambles member Pete Doherty was bitchslapped for refusing to buy drugs off of some local dealer. Here’s what they are saying happened:

The dealer reportedly said to him, “You should get your gear from me,” at the Sun Inn in Whiltshire before punching him in the face.

“It was horrible. Pete was really shaken up and upset. He had been enjoying a quiet pint on his own, just him and his cat, and went out to make a phone call.

“Pete has never seen this bloke before, he just attacked him for no reason.”

This is one of those stories that’s WAY too full of irony to be completely true. First of all, I have a hard time imagining Pete Doherty turning down drugs from any sort of shady cat, second of all, doesn’t Pete have a damn cell phone? I mean I know four-year olds with cell phones. Are you telling me international drug sniffers like Doherty can’t get a cell plan (do they call them telly-plans in the UK)?

And thirdly, what’s up with the cat? Is this the same cat he gets high on crack for fun? ‘Cuz I’d have thought that cat would either be dead, whoring itself out for some rocks, or wised up and run away?

Must be one of those 80’s new-wave “Stray Cats” looking for a fight.

Well, here’s one for Pete’s pussy: