Come on people!
Are you freaking kidding me?

Michael Vick who went to jail for being the leader of a dogfighting ring, was just released from jail after serving only 18 months of his 23 month sentence at Leavenworth.

Not only was his sentence a mere slap on the wrist, but he has once again signed up with Nike as a spokesman. Nike dropped Vick back in 2007, but they recently changed their minds and struck a new deal with him. The amount Vick that will receive from Nike has not been disclosed.

To make matters even more sickening, Vick will have his own eight part television series called the “Michael Vick Project” which will come out in 2010. The project will be produced by DuBose Entertainment,( Vick’s production company) MV7 Productions and Category 5 Entertainment. It will air on BET.

A snippet from Msnbc.com  about the show:

“The tentatively titled “Michael Vick Project,” a “docu-series,” not a reality show per se, will spotlight his comeback with the Philadelphia Eagles and also delve into his back story, from his difficult childhood to his 2007 arrest for running a dog-fighting ring, according to the L.A. Times.”

 
WTF?
Why would Nike and BET do business with someone who was guilty of animal cruelty? This means he will STILL be profiting from dogfighting in the long run.

But guess who else is behind this project?

According to the LA Times,

The project has the support of the Eagles, the NFL and former Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy, who has acted as Vick’s mentor since his imprisonment, say the producers. Also on board, they say, is the Humane Society, which has enlisted Vick in its battle to end the widespread abuse of dogs in the inner city.

What is this about Vick working with the Human Society? What does “enlisted Vick in it’s battle to end widespread dog abuse” mean exactly?

According to Humane Society president, Wayne Pacelle, who met with Vick while he was in Leavenworth, Vick is supposed to work towards getting young kids to cease any involvement in these activities by appearing in public service announcements.

No word lately about this particular project. I just don’t think these PS announcements will go over too well with the general public. They just may come off looking like a skit from Saturday Night Live in my opinion.

And unless Vick is volunteering his own time, donating funds from his new show and shoveling sh*t out of dog pens at the local pound, I am not convinced at all that he is a changed man.

They confiscated more than SIXTY dogs from Vick’s place when they broke up his dogfighting ring. Apparently BET and Nike have very short memories. And I presume that coach Tony Dungy is only concerned with getting Vick back on the field.
It was Roger Goodell, who suspended Vick indefinitely. Kudos to Goodell!

 
Thank goodness 22 of these poor pitbulls went to Best Friends rehab sanctuary in Utah.

National Geographic has a TV show called DogTown, which spotlighted Vick Dogs.

Meet Denzel, Just One Of Many Of Vick’s Victims

And Georgia, Another One Of Vick’s Victims

Of course the pictures above of Denzel and Georgia show their battle wounds from their fighting all healed. But their scars are still very visible on their faces as well as in their eyes.

Anyone who supports Vick, will be supporting someone who was guilty of a very cruel and brutal pastime.

The short time he spent in jail, was simply not enough. And although he has a three year probation, which requires him to wear an electronic monitor and to work a $10.00 an hour construction job. Again, not enough. 

Many people are not able to find a job these days. I’m sure that they would love to have that job in this economy. But instead, they give the job to a convicted animal abuser.

If the “Michael Vick Project” goes through, I hope the show goes over like a fart in church.

I sincerely doubt that Vick has proven ANY remorse what so ever by serving his cream puff jail sentence. And it sounds like these new deals with BET and Nike may have been struck during his jail time, since they are going to happen relatively soon.

So that means he sat and jail and wheeled and dealed about making MORE money as soon as he got out. And again that money will be made from him telling his story about his tough childhood and his arrest for dogfighting. Therefore profiting from dogfighting once again.

I don’t know who I am more disgusted with…
Vick the dick, the justice (?) system, or the other a-holes who are awarding him with continued wealth and fame. 
JUST DISPICABLE!

The only reason why I gave Vick ANY mention at all, was to spout my outrage. I can only hope that people will choose to send Vick a message by not supporting him in any way shape or form.

So write to Nike and BET and tell them how you feel about them hiring a man who operated a dogfighting ring and who not only had the dogs trained to kill each other, but then put money down on watching the dogs tear each other apart.

Tell BET he should not profit from telling his story. And tell them if this show does go through, that any money made from this series should go straight to the Best Friends dog rehab where his dogs were sent.

And as far as Nike goes…
If they insist on using Vick for a spokesperson….
Then Vick should set up some sort of deal with Nike. They can either have a percentage of their sales go straight towards animal rehab, or they can deposit a percentage of his pay right into the Best Friend’s bank account.

Of course I hope public outrage nixes both deals before they can ever happen.
But if they go through, Vick should have to redeem himself by having his money go to abused animals.
Although as far as I’m concerned, he can never be redeemable in my book.

No Animal Should Ever Have To Endure This Torture

They say Karma is a bitch, and I hope it catches up to Vick real soon.

Such A Cutey

Poor Jessica Simpson. Her dog Daisy was nabbed by a coyote right in front of her eyes. What a terrible thing to have to witness.
Frantically she went on Twitter to see if anyone has seen her beloved Daisy.
Eonline reported:

The dingo coyote took her baby!

Jessica Simpson is holding out hope that her most faithful of companions, her 5-year-old maltipoo, Daisy, will have a safe return after she witnessed a four-legged predator snatch her beloved dog.

“My heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our eyes,” Simpson tweeted yesterday evening. “HORROR! We are searching. Hoping. Please help!”

Along with the tweet, the distraught Simpson, who received Daisy as a surprise gift onstage from her ex-husband, Nick Lachey, a half-decade ago, posted an online flyer with a picture of the MIA pooch; the words “I miss my mommy”; an email address for people or, presumably, literate coyotes to write with information; and the promise of a reward for the canine’s safe return.

Dog-speed, Daisy.

I sincerely hope that the email she posted doesn’t get abused by people just wanting to say hey! or gives her false hope and lies about seeing her dog. If someone says they have her dog, let’s hope she has the smarts (rolls eyes) to bring enough people with her for protection to go check it out. Or have someone else check it out for her. Of course people can always bring a similar looking dog to her for the chance of meeting her. Sorry to be so paranoid, but there’s are a lot of sick people out there, and there are also many over zealous fans.

And speaking of sick people, I have already read several comments that people have left on articles and blogs around the internet and they are above and beyond cruel. Here is just one lovely part of a comment I found by a lovely person:
“knowing Joe Simpson and his idiot daughter, I wouldn’t put it past either of them to make this story up to get attention for Jessica”

That comment was tame compared to some of the ones I read. We all know how hurtful people can be in the comment sections! Right?

Now I am not a fan of Jessica Simpson myself, and never was, and I know she has a reputation for not being the sharpest tool in the box, but this isn’t the time to ridicule someone that has just lost a dear friend.

Yes, many non-famous people have lost their pets and it isn’t in the tabloids, we all know this. But hey, if you were famous, it would be. And even though eveyrone knows the chances of finding Daisy are slim to none because of the circumstances, she is desperate and heart broken. So I feel compelled to say, hey! back off douche bags!

So back to coyotes. I live in an area that looks like we would never see coyotes, but yet a few months ago, a coyote went through a neighbor’s yard only five houses down from me and her small children where in the backyard playing and thought it was a dog. And more and more are being seen in the adjacent streets.

Coyotes are very stealth like and fast. There have been many reports of coyotes attacking children in many states. They have also been attacking cats in our neighborhood too. The more and more areas get developed, the more coyotes search farther for food.

So word of caution people…
Keep an eye on your kids and your pets. Keep your dog on a leash. If you have a cat, keep it indoors, and make the sacrifice and get a damn litter box. It is worth it if you love your cat. There is nothing safe for cats outside anyways. There’s not only fleas, ticks, worms, animals with rabies, other cats, the chance of being hit by a car, and now being carried off by a coyote. Besides, if you take away all the other potential dangers of an outside cat, your vet bills may end up being a lot cheaper for you with an indoor cat. 

Just use your noggins people if you love your pets. Help them to live a long and happy life!

And to Jessica, sorry about your baby.

Surely everyone remembers the talking Taco Bell dog. I wonder how many said “Yo Quiero Taco Bell” every time a chihuahua walked by back in the 90’s? I think the Taco Bell dog played a huge part in why there are so many chihuahua dog owners today. NOT Paris Hilton, despite what she thinks.

The voice of the Taco Bell dog was done by Carlos Alazraqui who now plays Garcia on Reno 911. What most people don’t know is that the Taco Bell dog, was it actually was a girl chihuahua named Gidget that also starred as “Bruiser” in Legally Blonde 2.

Sadly, Gidget just passed away at the ripe old age of 15. She had a full life to say the least and her retirement found her sitting pretty and leading a very pampered existence — and Gidget had quite the following. Taco Bell sold talking stuffed animals that said “Viva Gorditas” and there were key chains and talking figurines that said “Yo Quiero Taco Bell”. One trip to Ebay and you can see that these items are still selling today. Perhaps there will be a new demand for these “collectables” since Gidget’s death, including a Legally Blond 2 stuffed animal with a purse complete with different outfits for the dog to change into. Needless to say Gidget will go down in history along with Lassie, Spuds McKenzie,and Rin Tin Tin as a famous pup.

The LA Times reported:

The owner of Studio Animal Services in Castaic says Gidget suffered a massive stroke late Tuesday at her trainer’s home in Santa Clarita and had to be euthanized.

Gidget was the sassy mascot in Taco Bell commercials from 1997 to 2000. While other dogs had bit parts, it was her bug-eyed, big-eared face that was seen pronouncing “Yo quiero Taco Bell,” Spanish for “I want Taco Bell,” in a male voice dubbed by Argentine actor Carlos Alazraqui. A few years later, Alazraqui landed the role for which he is best known: Deputy James Garcia on Comedy Central’s “Reno 911!”
The Taco Bell ads provoked some criticism from activists who said they used Mexican stereotypes.

Gidget also had a role in the movie “Legally Blonde 2,” but others associated with the ad campaign weren’t so lucky. Earlier this year, the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that the creators of the Chihuahua character hadn’t been properly compensated for their work, and Taco Bell was ordered to pay $42 million.

Gidget’s trainer, Sue Chipperton, in an interview earlier this year with the People Pets website, described the diminutive dog as a consummate professional on the set. But, she said, Gidget had been the victim of typecasting, which limited her career choices (or, rather, Chipperton’s choices on her behalf).

Associated Press writer Robert said this on 
Austin360.com:

Although she was hard of hearing, Gidget was otherwise in good health up to the day of her death, eating well and playing with her favorite squeaky toys at the home of trainer Sue Chipperton, McElhatton said.

“She was retired. She lived like a queen, very pampered,” McElhatton said.

Gidget was found at a kennel and wasn’t show quality, McElhatton said; she had an undershot jaw and huge ears.

But Gidget knew she was a star, McElhatton said.

“She was a prima donna, basically. She absolutely knew when she was on camera,” McElhatton said.

Gidget traveled first-class, opened up the New York Stock Exchange and made an appearance at Madison Square Garden, McElhatton said.

In later years, she did other acting work, appearing in a 2002 commercial for the insurance company GEICO and in the 2003 movie “Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde.”

She remained the object of affection after her retirement, going on hikes and beach visits with her trainer. She aged gracefully, and liked nothing more than to snooze in the sun.

“She was like a little old lady. She’d kind of gotten smaller,” McElhatton said.

Gidget will be cremated, McElhatton said. Her owners had not decided on a final disposition of her remains. Taco Bell Corp. said in a statement Gidget would be missed by many. “Our deepest sympathies go out to her owners and fans,” the company said.

Every once in a while there is a story that tugs at your heart strings and this is one of them. Gidget was certainly a huge star that was fortunate to live to a nice ripe old age and will be remembered fondly by many. To Gidget the diva of all chihuahuas, may you rest in peace.

Aww!  I’m sure he’s got a wonderful personality!

Meet Ugly Bat Boy…he lives in New Hampshire at a vet’s office, and he’s apparently just like any other cat, except he doesn’t have much fur:

Ugly Bat Boy is bald all over  – apart from one patch of shaggy, unkempt fur around his neck.

Staff at the veterinary hospital where the eight-year-old moggie lives have even been forced to put up fliers saying he’s perfectly normal  – just unattractive.

They claim he makes up for his terrible looks by having inner beauty and a nice disposition. [...]

Ugly and his sister, who only survived a few weeks, were both born without fur.

And although he may not look like an ordinary cat, staff at the hospital say he behaves exactly like every other feline they’ve ever known.

He loves attention and is very friendly.

I hope they have a little sweater or something to put on him when it gets chilly!  If you ever wanted to know what your kitty would look like shaved…there you go.

I’ll let you write your own jokes.

Won’t you consider taking home a lovable forever friend?

By all means, do not adopt a dog that does not fit your life, and do not adopt any more animals that you can reasonably take care of.  But if you’ve been considering adopting a new friend, this could be the time to do it.  Many shelters are offering discounts during October to new dog adoptions.  Perhaps you could start your search here, or at your local animal shelter or Humane Society.

If you cannot give one of these animals a loving home, please consider a donation of food, litter, or money.  You won’t regret it!

Don’t breed or buy (or clone) while shelter pets die!

This has my blood boiling.  Not much makes me this angry, but violence against a child, animal, or an elderly person does.

Some actor guy named Joseph Petcka (anybody ever heard of him before now?) killed his girlfriend’s cat and claimed self-defense:

A man accused of slaughtering his girlfriend’s cat was so obsessed with the tiny tabby that he wrote about it in his diary, the tearful woman testified yesterday at his bizarre feline-bludgeoning trial.

In the weeks before lay-about actor Joseph Petcka admittedly kicked cat Norman to death, he was already oddly fixated with earning the skittish orange and white cat’s affection, Lisa Altobelli told a Manhattan jury. [...]

Petcka loved his successful girlfriend, writing her love poems and tenderly drawing her portrait. But Altobelli saw the relationship as “casual,” she told jurors, even as she lavished her love on Norman. She let the cat sleep at the foot of her bed, and called him “my little buddy,” and “my little fluffball.”

Norman, as well, wasn’t feeling the love for the boyfriend.

“When Joe would come into the room, he would start hissing,” Altobelli told jurors. “He was visibly terrified,” she said of Norman. “He would run to the other side of the apartment.”

That should have been the first sign right there to get this sorry sack of fetid fecal matter outta her life.  Animals are excellent at gauging people, I have found.  And he wrote about the cat in his diary?  Did it have a tiny little lock and gold embossed letters that said “My Diary” on the front?  Was it pink with little yellow daisies?  I thought men kept journals, not “diaries”.

After incidents such as coming home to find the cat wet and shivering and her “boyfriend” offering no explanation, things came to a head:

Things spun wildly out of control on the last day of their six-week affair, March 27, 2007, Altobelli testified.

Petcka ransacked her liquor cabinet, guzzling whiskey, wine and cider.

He threatened to put Norman in the microwave and nuke him, insisting the cat had bit him on the hand.

Altobelli then left, hoping Petcka would cool down.

She knew something was terribly wrong, she told jurors, when she returned home at 5 a.m. and Norman didn’t come running to the door. The cat’s food, fur and feces were everywhere, she said.

She found Norman’s body in his “special spot,” she said – the space under her bedside nightstand where he hid when scared.

“He was dead,” she said, sobbing. “I put my hand there and he was just cold and stiff. I pulled him out.” Then she stopped, unable to continue.

Hell would have frozen over before I would have left my beloved pet alone with a drunken mouthbreather who threatened to put it in the microwave.  Either pet and I would have left together or jerkface would have found himself on his sorry behind outside on the sidewalk.  Anybody who threatens to microwave my cat is going to be feasting on their own microwaved testicles.  However, I’m not going to beat up this girl any more than I am sure she already is doing to herself.  I feel for anyone who has to go through something like this, but she certainly showed poor judgement…I’m sure she knows that now, though.

But now we have another NY Post writer chiming in on the subject…Andrea Peyser writes that the little eight-pound kitty “deserved every blow”:

THE stupid cat had it coming.

Forgive me, all you animal- rights nuts, you freaky lovers of things furry, fierce and woefully incontinent. I’ve got something to say to all assorted people who’ve got nothing better to do with their days than stick their noses in another man’s litter box.

The dead cat at the center of a whacked-out catricide trial now eating up precious court time and tax dollars in downtown Manhattan is no innocent wittle victim.

Norman the Cat, who was pummeled to death last year at the age of 8 by an inarguably hot, allegedly drunk, former Met minor leaguer and bit-part actor named Joseph Petcka, had serious issues.

The first of which may have been his name.

Owner Lisa Altobelli testified yesterday that she named Norman after the zhlubby character Norm from “Cheers” – “my favorite show.” Norman Bates sounds more accurate.

No one likes to see a little frisky drowning in a pool of his own blood. Well, not many.

But Petcka had grown tragically fixated on the idea of getting along with the pet pussy that Altobelli called “my little buddy.” He wrote in his diary that he’d made “progress” getting the pea-brained flea bag to allow Petcka to pet him.

Early on March 27, 2007, Altobelli testified, Petcka had too much to drink. She said he chanted, in a weird, sing-songy voice, “Nor-man. Nor-man!”

So Altobelli did what anyone overly attached to a neurotic hairball would do when danger was afoot: She left Petcka alone in her apartment with her beloved cat.

Hours later, Altobelli returned. She found the puss under a table.

“He was cold,” she said, crying crocodile tears and hanging her head petulantly.

Petcka claims the thing sank his teeth into his hand. So he had to violently knock him away.

Innocent victim? Or kitty provocateur?

Why can’t we just ask Petcka to clean a few hundred litter boxes, and end this fiasco?

Well, I’ve got something to say to you, you arrogant, snotty, egotistical, contemptible, odious, sorry excuse for a so-called journalist…there’s no way in the world that a loving pet ever “deserves” to be bludgeoned to death.  Even if the kitty were to bite someone, that is no excuse for a grown man to kill it, especially not in such a horrific manner.  Let’s see…eight pound cat against grown athletic adult man.  Seem like a fair fight to you?  Can you even imagine the sort of fury one would have to work up to bludgeon a cat to death?

Not to mention that violence against pets is often directly linked to violence against people…someone who abuses animals is much more likely to also abuse people.  What if this had not been a cat, but a child?  Would Little Miss Kitty-Hater be so likely to defend this jerk then?  Replace ”cat” in the original story above with “toddler” or “child” and see what story you can come up with.  Would she have been so quick to label him a hunk then?

(Oh, and this isn’t the only article she’s done on the subject…here’s one where she talks about the trial, and here’s one where she gets orgasmic about what a hunk this guy is.)

Here’s a few stats on the relationship between violence against pets and against people:

Even if a spouse has never been violent towards YOU, it’s vital that you take even the threat of violence against a pet seriously – not only for the pet’s safety, but for your own as well. Tons of research has been done on the issue of animal abuse and the relation to child abuse and spouse battering and the facts are in: threats or actions against your pet are a very strong indicator that violence is on the way for you or your children.

Of 50 shelters surveyed about women and children escaping from domestic violence, 85% said that women in their shelter talked about pet abuse, 63% of children talked about pet abuse, and 83% said that they had observed the coexistence of domestic violence and pet abuse. [...]

Further research indicates that 70% to 75% of women reporting domestic violence also reported that their partner had threatened and/or actually hurt or killed one or more of their pets. Actual (as distinct from threatened) harm to pets represented the majority (57%) of reports.

Chances are, if someone says they are going to hurt your pet, they will…just like if they say they are going to hurt you, they will.  At the first sign of threatening behavior towards her cat, this woman should have thrown this guy out on his brains.

Look, I have two cats, littermates, and they don’t always behave like angels.  One in particular is very sensitive to changes in emotional atmosphere, and if my husband or either of my kids is arguing with me, he is very likely to sit and ‘holler’ at us (in kittyese, of course), and sometimes he has even smacked or tried to bite the other person, but only in the heat of the moment.  Otherwise, he is a very loving cat.  He thinks of me as his momma, so in his little kitty brain I guess he is protecting me, even though these people are people he lives with and loves on every other occasion.  There are tactics I can use if I feel either kitty is getting out of hand to bring them back into line that calms them down, but neither cat will put up with anyone being “mean” to me.  Perhaps Norman had picked up on this guy’s personality and was trying to warn his owner, using the only communication that he had at his disposal, that this jerk was a loser.  Our pets communicate with us, we just don’t always recognize it.

I am an animal lover.  I bottlefed my cats when they were orphaned at three weeks old.  I ran into a burning house, saved one cat, and had to help the firefighters pick through the dark, wet, smoldering ashes to find the other cat (alive and well, albeit wet and dirty, thank God).  If you love your animals as much as I do, let the NYP know this will not be tolerated.

I don’t normally do this, but if this sorry excuse for a woman is going to advocate violence against animals then I feel there is no other choice.  I urge you to write the NYP and demand that Ms. Peyser be removed from her duties at the NYP, such as they are, at least temporarily.  If she can’t grasp that a person being violent to an animal is not only a horrible thing in and of itself, but a sign of worse things to come, then she needs to keep her sorry opinions to herself.

According to the NY Post’s own TOS regarding their forums:

You agree that you will not submit Messages to Forums that:

• are unlawful, threatening, obscene, vulgar, pornographic, profane or indecent including any communication that constitutes (or encourages conduct that would constitute) a criminal offense, gives rise to civil liability or otherwise violates any local, state, national or international law; [...]

NYP reserves the right to immediately terminate your use of, or access to, this Site at any time if NYP decides at its sole discretion that you have breached this Agreement or any relevant law, rule or regulation or you have engaged in conduct that NYP considers to be inappropriate or unacceptable

I realize columnists are not posting in forums, but why have one set of guidelines for one area and not for another?  If someone in the forums made a post like that, it would be removed…so why allow it from a columnist?  I urge you to contact the NYP…but by all means, be respectful, do not threaten, do not do or say anything stupid, do not act like a jerk yourself, behave appropriately, but let them know this is outrageous:

Online Editorial and News: Erle Norton

Letters to the Editor: letters@nypost.com

Editorials, Columnists: letters@nypost.com

New York Post
1211 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10036-8790
(212) 930-8000

Disclaimer:  No, I do not advocate nor do I wish actual physical harm to come to Mr. Petcka or Ms. Peyser.  I was just using colorful language to express my complete, utter, and total disgust of their revolting behavior.  And I was holding back.

GlossLip has learned of a new pet food recall affecting food made by Mars Petcare:

Today, Mars Petcare US announced a voluntary recall of products manufactured at its Everson, Pennsylvania facility. The pet food is being voluntarily recalled because of potential contamination with Salmonella serotype Schwarzengrund. This voluntary recall only affects the United States.

Salmonella can cause serious infections in dogs and cats, and, if there is cross contamination caused by handling of the pet food, in people as well, especially children, the aged, and people with compromised immune systems. Healthy people potentially infected with Salmonella should monitor themselves for some or all of the following symptoms: nausea, vomiting, diarrhea or bloody diarrhea, abdominal cramping and fever. On rare occasions, Salmonella can result in more serious ailments, including arterial infections, endocarditis, arthritis, muscle pain, eye irritation, and urinary tract symptoms. Consumers exhibiting these signs after having contact with this product should contact their healthcare providers.

Pets with Salmonella infections may be lethargic and have diarrhea or bloody diarrhea, fever, and vomiting. Some pets will have only decreased appetite, fever and abdominal pain. Animals can be carriers with no visible symptoms and can potentially infect other animals or humans. If your pet has consumed the recalled product and has these symptoms, please contact your veterinarian.

For the full list of products involved, click here.

Remember this article I did a few days ago about Bernann McKinney, the woman who was so upset about the death of her pet dog that she had him cloned five times over?  After I wrote it, news came out that she may be, in fact, Joyce McKinney, wanted since the 1970’s for kidnapping a young Mormon missionary, chaining him to a bed with mink handcuffs, and repeatedly forcing him to have sex with her.

At that time, she had neither confirmed nor denied the story, but now even she realizes the jig is up:

Dog lover Bernann McKinney acknowledged in a telephone call to The Associated Press on Saturday that she is indeed Joyce McKinney, who in 1977 became a British tabloid sensation when she faced charges of unlawful imprisonment in the missionary case. She jumped bail and was never brought to justice.

Through tears, she explained that she went public with her efforts to replicate Booger, who died two years ago, hoping people would be able to focus on that story rather than the “garbage” of the past.

 ”I thought people would be honest enough to see me as a person who was trying to do something good and not as a celebrity,” McKinney told the AP. “My mother always taught me, ‘Say something good or say nothing at all.’”

“I think I gave people too much credit,” she said.

No, I think you overestimated your own ability to fool all of the people all of the time, which simply shows your arrogance.  You see, back in the days before the World Wide Internet Computer Web, you could fool some of the people some of the time, and even a few of the people all of the time, but you’ll never fool the entire world any of the time, and in this day of instant worldwide coverage that’s exactly the game she tried to play and lost.

She has repeatedly said that she doesn’t want the “garbage” of her past to overshadow the “puppy story”, but it is by understanding one’s past that we can understand the present, and to look at Joyce/Bernann’s past (all alleged, of course) is to see that we are dealing with a woman who is selfish at best, mentally disturbed at worst:

• She stalked a Mormon missionary across the Atlantic, kidnapped him, tied him to a bed with mink handcuffs, and repeatedly forced him to have sex with her until he managed to escape.
• She and her accomplice snuck out of the country pretending to be deaf-mute actors.
• In 1984, she was arrested outside the same man’s workplace with rope, handcuffs, and a notebook in the trunk of her car.
• She again disappeared and the case was dismissed.
• She handed out business cards in South Korea with a business address that doesn’t exist.
• There have been several cases against her in her hometown of Newland, North Carolina, one of which involved “communicating a threat” to another woman.
• They also include passing bad checks, assualting a public offical, and an animal cruelty charge concerning a horse.
• She has been described as allegedly being involved in prostitution and having drug and mental problems after the kidnapping and subsequent escape.
• She once broke into a shelter and rescued a pit bull which was scheduled to be put down for mauling a jogger (unknown if this was Booger or not).
• She claims to be a screenwriter who taught drama at colleges, but no record of her exists with the Screenwriter’s Guild.
• Now, we have the dog-cloning fiasco, where she had five puppies created from the skin cells of her deceased pet dog.

It isn’t too hard to figure out that this woman wants what she wants and you’d better not stand in her way, because she’ll do whatever she has to do to get what she wants…including the horrible practice of cloning her deceased pet dog.  Never mind the 4-6 million animals who enter the animal shelters of the United States every year who could use good homes, she wanted clones of Booger and she was going to have them.  Just like it didn’t matter that the Mormon missionary she had set her sights on obviously didn’t want her…she was going to have him at any cost, just because she wanted him.

What she fails to understand about the cloning of her dog is the same thing she failed to understand about how wrong it was to kidnap a man…not only does she have to live with the consequences of her actions, but what she ends up with isn’t even the real thing, but a pathetic facsimile.  She doesn’t think through her decisions to their possible end results.  Kidnapping a man, chaining him to a bed (even with mink handcuffs), putting on a nightie, and forcing him to have sex with her is not a real, true, loving relationship, no matter how much she wants it to be.  Likewise, taking some skin cells from her dog and having a lab scientifically create little carbon copies of that dog isn’t going to bring her original dog “back to life”, no matter how much she wants it to…what she has now is little created creatures, without the memories and life experiences of her pet, and thus they are going to be completely different dogs.  Not to mention that cloned animals are prone to early deaths and health problems…so when these dogs die, will she just have them create new ones?  Copies of copies?

For less than a couple hundred dollars she could have rescued a homeless dog from a shelter…but that wouldn’t be having her own way, would it?

This whole sordid story becomes more pathetic every day.

(Update at end of article.)

As a lover of animals, I am shocked and disgusted at this news:

Five pit bull terrier puppies have been born in the world’s first cloning of a pet dog for a paying customer.

They are the genetic doubles of Booger, a pit bull whose death from cancer two years ago left his owner Bernann McKinney so bereft that she sold her house to raise the £25,000 [$48,000] needed to – in her eyes – bring him back to life.

A little backstory…this woman adopted from an agency a pit bull that she named Booger.  Some years later, she was attacked by a mastiff and Booger intervened in the attack, helping fight off the dog and probably saving her life.  As a result of the attack, Bernann was left in a wheelchair after reconstructive surgery, so Booger learned how to become a service dog.  He would do things like open doors, take laundry out of the dryer, and getting things out of the fridge.  So obviously it seems that the relationship between the two was a loving one, as most relationships between pets and their owners are, and especially between a person and their service animal.

Tragically, Booger developed cancer, and distraught at the thought of losing her friend forever, Bernann had some skin cells taken from his ear and frozen.  Failing to produce a duplicate of Booger in the US, she turned to a lab in South Korea, and they were able to produce five identical-looking Booger clones:

The 57-year-old Californian scriptwriter has named the puppies Booger McKinney, Booger Lee, Booger Ra, Booger Hong and Booger Park, after herself and the South Korean scientists behind their birth.

RNL Bio, the Seoul cloning company, said the process was so straightforward it could clone 300 dogs a year for bereaved pet owners around the world. [...]

The technology, the same as that used to create Dolly the Sheep, brings with it high risk of miscarriage and still birth – and for those creatures that do survive, ill health and premature death.

Bernann, for her part, defends her decision to have the cloning done:

‘Booger was my partner and my friend. They are perfectly the same as their daddy. I am in heaven here. I am a happy person.’

‘I had to make sacrifices and I dream of the day, some day, when everyone can afford to clone their pet because losing a pet is a terrible, terrible loss to anyone.’ [...]

‘I wanted my friend back,’ she said. ‘Booger taught me I could do anything I could do before the accident. I just had to figure out a different way to do it.’ [...]

Ms McKinney, who will be able to take her new pets home next month, said their birth healed the pain of Booger’s death.

‘It is a miracle for me because I was able to smile again, laugh again and just feel alive again,’ she explained. [...]

On first seeing them in a Seoul laboratory, she repeatedly shouted ‘It’s a miracle’.

‘Yes, I know you!  You know me too!’ she said hugging the tiny black creatures.

Ms McKinney sold her house to pay the £25,000 [$48,000] bill, after receiving a special rate for publicising the company.

However, other customers can expect to pay as much as £75,000 [$146,000], although the price should drop as the technology develops.

Other professionals aren’t so thrilled with the news, however, and give us dire warnings of such procedures:

RSPCA [Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals] senior scientist Penny Hawkins said: ‘Cloning dogs as pets is abhorrent to the RSPCA.

‘I can’t believe that any true dog lover would condone causing suffering to dogs and wasting their lives for such a trivial and selfish purpose, particularly when animal shelters worldwide have thousands of dogs who need loving homes.

‘In any case, a cloned animal is never going to be an exact copy of the original pet.

‘There is much more to an animal than its DNA and cloned dogs will inevitably have different life experiences, resulting in animals with different personalities.’

And there you have it…the one voice of reason in this whole messy disaster.

But wait, there’s more…

No, I’m serious. Britain’s Living TV is going to sign up Wonky herself to star in a show called Paris’ Pooches, where she will manage a pet grooming business in London:

The heiress is set to invade U.K. TV. Paris Hilton has reportedly signed a deal with a British channel to star in a dog-grooming show entitled “Paris’ Pooches.”

Hilton, 27, allegedly inked a deal with Living TV television channel to star in a series, in which she will manage a beauty parlor for dogs in Bond Street, London.

An insider tells Sunday Star newspaper, “The shop is perfect for Paris. It’s a subject she’s passionate about and it’s a way for her to break into U.K. TV.”

“Watching Paris act out her Los Angeles lifestyle, in which tiaras for Chihuahuas are of real importance, should be very entertaining. And she will no doubt be hitting the clubs and parties over here in the same way she does back home.”

Yes, I’m serious. The same woman who admits she collects pets like she collects purses, who was well over the limit on how many domestic animals she had within the Los Angeles city limits, and who refused to spay or neuter her animals or give away the puppies (because only big meanie poopyheads take babies away from their mommas), is going to have a show about pets.

Let’s revisit the list of Paris’ pet sins, shall we?

To Ellen DeGeneres, on why she has so many dogs:

Ellen: Seventeen? Why do you have so many dogs?

Paris: Cuz they keep having babies, and I feel bad to give them away, because I feel like if I had a baby and someone gave it away it would be mean, so I feel bad for my dogs.

Ellen: Paris, you have to spay and neuter your pets.

Paris: They all just got fixed.

Ellen: All of ‘em?

Paris: (pause) (unconvincingly) Yes.

Ellen: No. You’re lying again!

Paris: Two–two of them weren’t.

On a cat that was forgotten at a vet’s office:

TMZ has learned that Miss P adopted the puddy tat — which she named Prada — at the Kris Kelly Foundation last May, about a week before she headed to Lynwood Jail. After Paris was released, we’re told she knew she had to have Prada neutered, but didn’t get around to it until a few weeks ago, on January 30.

But here’s the problem — nobody came back for Prada! About a week later, Kris Kelly herself called Paris to find out what happened, but she still hasn’t heard back as to what to do with Paris’ pussy.

Paris’ people say this is nothing to meow about. The cat was to be dropped off to be neutered and then delivered to one of Paris’ peeps. That apparently hasn’t happened yet. But Kris tells us that it’s “a clear-cut case of abandonment” (no pun intended, we think) and has decided not to return the cat.

In 2004, listing the animals she can remember:

Yeah, I’m a big animal lover. Tinkerbell is my life. She comes with me everywhere. I also have a ferret named Dolce & Gabbana. Ferrets are illegal [in New York], but whatever. I just bought a bobcat yesterday. She’s a little girl. I have rats, snakes, and a bunch of other animals, too, like cats and an iguana.

And from 2007, another inventory of her collection:

Paris says, “My animals make me really happy.” When speaking about how many animals she has, the socialite says, “eleven dogs, three cats, three ferrets, two rabbits, and two monkeys.” Many of these animals are allowed to run free around her home according to Hilton.

She tells Elle that the monkeys and ferrets are kept at her ranch but, “the dogs and cats and bunnies run around my house. I have this guy, Eric, who’s like a zookeeper, and he’s with them all the time. He loves them, and I love them, too. But since I work a lot I’m not always home.”

In addition to the well known Chihuahuas, Tinkerbell and Bambi, Hilton owns a Rottweiler named Tyson and eight other dogs. In 2005, Hilton got in some trouble with animal authorities.

The first incident involved Hilton purchasing a kinkajou. The animal, Baby Luv had to be given up because it was illegal to be owned as a pet. The second instance involved Hilton attempting to own a baby kangaroo as a pet, which she purchased in Australia. She has also won numerous awards for being the worst pet owner on the planet.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…this woman is not an animal lover, she is an animal hoarder. She attaches human emotions to animals, she collects them as though they were things, she is convinced she is the only one who can truly love these animals, and by believing she is doing something so wonderful with these animals. All classic signs.

And she’s being rewarded for this behavior with a television show. Is this not a perfect example of what is so wrong and screwed up about the celeb lifestyle and those who pay to televise it? Besides, it’s pretty clear that “hitting the clubs and parties over here in the same way she does back home” is the real reason for the show. And are they serious, saying that tiaras for dogs are of “real importance”?

Makes me glad I have cats. Just try to put a tiara on a cat.

do not want!