And jeans tight enough to show what religion you are need not apply:

She said: “I think guys should wear jeans big and baggy, with a big pair of boots or flip-flops-exactly how you see David when he’s out in his jeans and T-shirt.

“Do not pull them up tight and have your bulge showing. Let it hang!”

The jeans will come out as part of Beckham’s dVb label. She told men’s fashion website DNR: “These are not skinny jeans. They are what I call proper men’s jeans.

“If you are a man that likes really skinny jeans, very fashiony, this isn’t really the line for you. I didn’t want anything too tight around the crotch.

“That really repulses me. It might be fashionable, but you are not going to get that from dVb.”

While she’s at it, she gets in a little dig at people who don’t do their fashionista homework:

Beckham, the creative director of the brand, went on: “I’ve used the best Japanese denim, and I think I’ve created a fit that is very flattering and very comfortable.

“I’m a complete control freak and I want everything to be perfect. I’m not doing a Britney Spears and just putting my name on something and saying, ‘Sell this perfume.’

Ooooh, burn.  I believe homegirl has a case of the OCD.  But she does have a point…if I had my name on something, I’d be sure to know everything about it before I ever let it go out with my signature.  People associate it with you.  I’d definitely want to make sure the product, be it jeans or perfume or microwave popcorn, was top-notch.  Unlike Curious.  So anyway:

The jeans, sourced in Asia and Morocco, will retail from $220 to $285 USD, she said. They are expected to be sol

Wait, what?  These are still jeans, right?  They don’t have diamonds or jewels embedded in them, correct?  They are denim, which is basically cotton twill, right?  They don’t come with motorized zippers or a pocket full of cash?

And people actually pay prices like this?  For jeans?

I think I’ve just met people who annoy me more than Mad Posh.

Of cash, that is…reports are that Davey Boy is a big tipper when it comes to restaurant service that he likes.  For a tab of around $100, he left a $1000 tip while celebrating after a charity football soccer game with his teammates:

It was early November when a few boys from the LA Galaxy came to the Pub. They come in from time to time because the crowd at Joxer’s knows their football and nobody treats the boys too special. […]

The team didn’t go party-crazy. The boys just had beer and pub snacks. David only drank mineral water. He’s much taller than I thought. Becks signed autographs for anyone who asked. […] I asked for a picture and he had one of the players hold the camera! Can I just say he smelled so nice! Really! I hugged him so tight and he didn’t mind at all. Everyone was in good spirits.

When I gave them their tab, David snatched it away from his mates. They argued with him a bit but he just looked at them and told them to hush up. I know your website likes tipping stories so you’ll love this: The tab was about $100 and Becks had just added a zero to $1,000! - A $900 tip! I had to ask him if it was correct. He just said, “It is. Is Giggs still your favorite player?” “Not anymore!” On a day where the Galaxy played for charity, David really meant it! I know it’s not a windfall of cash but the tidy sum helped me fix my ailing car and get a cavity filled so it meant a lot to me. What a magical evening! Thank you, David!

Is this a common occurrence?

“David certainly tips well, usually because of good service,” said Beckham’s spokesman.

Now that’s what I’m talkinbout.

I know I’m hard on the Beckhams…I think Mad Posh is a bit too stuck on her own self-promotion and I’m not so sure Davey is all that bright (and sorry, I don’t think he’s the studly muffin most others seem to think he is), but I will say this about them…they do seem to be genuinely devoted to one another and to their childen, and if this story is true then that gets big props in my book.  Waiters and waitresses work hard, it’s only fair to give them their due, and more if the service was exceptional.  This certainly qualifies for a Breath Of Fresh Air Award!

(Mad Posh and RoboKatie, however, not so much.  Boo, hiss.)

Hey, David…if you ever make it to Alfredo’s in New York, leave a good tip and tell them GlossLip sent you!

Soccer (oh wait, football…no, check that, it’s soccer) star David Beckham has opened his third academy for aspiring young people:

The state-of-the-art World of Sport complex has been set up to benefit the children of Brazil and provide them with on-site coaching and access to top-class facilities, much in the same way as his academies in London and Los Angeles.

Beckham said: “This is by far the best training camp I have ever seen.

“It will be the best football facility in the world and I am very proud to have an academy in Brazil where kids can come and enjoy themselves and play football in a safe environment.”

Davey Boy also hopes that his new facility will draw soccer clubs from all over the world to train, and hopefully to help future athletes in the form of Brazil’s young people.

But here’s what I really want to say about the whole thing:

PULL YOUR PANTS UP!!!

Great balls of fire…he’s a zillionaire, but he can’t afford pants that fit right?  Yank that belt tighter!  Srsly!

I was told once to never brag about how great your sex life is or how well-endowed you man is, for someone may come along and covet what you have. I guess no one bothered to let Posh know that. In response to rumors her hubby stuffed for his photo shoot for Emporio Armani, Victoria didn’t just deny those rumors, she offered just a little too much information (at least for my delicate sensibilities).

Contact Music quotes Victoria Beckham on the now infamous Armani photo shoot:

The L.A. Galaxy player lying seductively across a bed, proudly showing off a bulging groin - which fans speculated was computer-altered. But the Spice Girl insists what’s pictured in the pair of white briefs is all his. She says, “I’m proud I still have a really good sex life with David. He is very much in proportion. He does have a huge one, though. He does. You can see it in the advert. It is all his. It is like a tractor exhaust pipe!”

Wow, that’s a classy way of putting it. Any man would be proud to have their wife say he’s laying pipe the old fashioned way. What happened to discretion in the bedroom? Jeebus people, it’s the holidays, can’t we have a little decorum?

Some people just LIKE to make baby Jesus cry.

Assholes.

No pun intended.

David Beckham is now the new face, and a few other things, of Emporio Armani Underwear and has completed one of the modeling shoots, which will be debuting in Vanity Fair in February.

Now, I have to admit, I’ve never quite understood the appeal of Davey boy.  Too many tats, too much metrosexualness, too much Posh p*ssywhippedness.  I don’t think I’d like a guy who dresses better than I do.  And he probably smells like Instinct (which is nasty, stinky stuff).

I do have to say, however, that this photo holds a certain appeal for me.  I can’t quite put my finger on it, though.  I’ll just sit here and stare at the photo until it jumps up at me.

No, give me a minute, it’ll come to me eventually.

Okay, you can go away now.  I’ll let you know when you can return.

She’s a crazy bitch, that’s the secret. Then again, that’s hardly a secret to any sentient being who still participates in the facade we call the human race. Sorry for the rancor people, just growing weary of our continued neglect of the famous fallen who clearly are in desperate need of psychiatric evaluation, yet are still allowed the freedom to harm themselves, others and their loved ones. Can’t Congress do something about Britney and Amy?

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, the Victoria Secret’s Superfantastico Glittery Extravaganza on Ice show which took place last night featuring such talented folks as Seal and his lovely wife Heidi Klum (they really are a strange couple), The Spice Girls (they’re really weird too) and Will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas filled in for the grief-stricken Kanye West who was set to open the show at the Kodak Theater in Hollywood.

Many a star was in attendance including, Eva Longoria Parker, Hayden Panettiere, Michael Vartan, Ryan Seacrest, Neil Patrick Harris, Gary Dourdan, Dean Cain, Ana Ortiz, Jeremy Piven and Rebecca DeMornay. According to USA today, actor Michael Vartan was NOT their to see the Spice Girls, contrary to popular belief.

Asked about the Spice Girls reuniting, Vartan said “I couldn’t care less.” He didn’t even know they’d be performing at the show

Strange….that’s the EXACT same thought I had when I heard they were reuniting. Not so strange was Vartan’s real reason for attending the event.

Vartan made it clear why he was there — to see the Angels. But Vartan let it be known, “I don’t believe in lingerie one bit.”

Right with you man, flannel jammies are it. Anything good enough for Jesus is good enough for me.

But what about those Spice Girls. Check them out. More importantly, check out Posh Beckham on the end. Is that the face of PMS of what? Victoria looks like she just found out Ginger Spice weighs less than she does, and she’s mentally scheduling a colonic to fix that problem.

Okay, I admit it.  I’ve never heard a Spice Girls song, that I know of, and I had never heard Mad Posh speak until her NBC special earlier this year.  That show didnt make me a fan, either…I understood her dry “British Humour” (and yes, I got that she was being facetious and self-depreciating to Perez when she said she could never be caught smiling or eating, and she had to look miserable), but I found her entire attitude towards everything condescending and trite.  And let’s face it…seeing her constantly pouting is just irksome. She’s rich, thin, and relatively pretty, she has a loving husband and three beautiful children…what’s to look so unhappy about?

But stop the presses….it seems that Victoria can actually (wait for it) smile.  dun-dun-dunnnnnnnn

She appeared on a game show in Japan, Smap Smap (translation?) as part of promoting the upcoming Spice Girls reunion, and in the process relaxed her facial muscles and smiled for the camera.

You know, I like her smiling.  She looks nice when she smiles…she looks calm, gracious, and like she’s having fun.  Like she took the stick out of her bum.  Like she’s warm and friendly.  Like…a very pretty woman.

I like these photos…she doesn’t have the Frankentits going, she doesn’t have on some weird feathery leathery mess, the hair isn’t all did…this is an excellent look for her, and she should consider looking like this more often.  Even though they were being silly on the show, she seems to be taking it all in good humour, and that’s a very important thing to remember in one’s life, not to take oneself too seriously.

She really should consider smiling in public more often.  She doesn’t come across as “Posh Spice”, the International Pout; she comes across as Victoria Beckham, wife, mom, daughter, yes a celebrity, but an attractive woman.  It’s amazing how one simple action can change one’s entire look…she went from haughty to soft in one second.

Oh, and here’s one for you…a few weeks ago, her husband, David Beckham, actually had her laughing!  Could the more relaxed attitudes of the US be rubbing off on her?  This looks nice!

Remember, Victoria, a smile is your best fashion accessory.

Lily Allen, the fiery little lass from the UK who’s ska-revival-infused pop sound is slowly infiltrating the U.S., doesn’t much appreciate how our culture pits her against her music rivals.  In this case, fellow Brit singer the bluesy-rocker Amy Winehouse.  Allen insists there’s no real rivalry, only one made up in the press.  I tend to believe her on this one, as Allen’s non-too-shy about expressing how she feels about other celebrities and musicians.  Lily on the Amy Winehouse much-ado-about-nothing:

“Every interview I do I’m getting asked how I feel about Amy. It’s starting to really p%#s me off. I really like Amy and am totally supportive of her. “Why do people always try to play women off against each other? Or why not create a rivalry between the boys? I think there is something seriously wrong with this part of our culture.”

Lily makes a good point, but why is she surprised? If there’s no controversy, then one will be created, especially in her case.  It is Lily Allen’s very outspokenness that has helped to make her a household name.  She must know deep down, that this willingness to speak critically and openly would not only bring her attention, but also some negative repercussions.

Her most recent attack was shot at the Beckhams, David and Victoria.  Lily on the Beckhams:

“We are bombarded with fashion mags and gossip mags with rich pop stars and Victoria Beckhams with their new handbags and kids think that’s the sort of life they should have.”

That’s what we here in the states call: keeping up with the Joneses.  It’s what drives our capitalist society, and quite honestly, it’s what makes us great.  Our greed and need to have EVERYTHING.  All in all, that’s one of the more insightful things Ms. Allen has said.

Last week Lily blasted our President Bush in concert when she got drunk while performing in San Diego.  Here’s an excerpt of what happened:

The ‘Smile’ singer, after guzzling beer and cider onstage during the concert, attacked Bush for being an “a**ehole and a c**t” before turning her ire on Brit PM Tony Blair and calling him a “c**t’s bitch”.  Allen then had people gaping when she declared that she was “probably bisexual”, and that she was tired of men with “tiny d***s”. She also said that San Diego has the best crack whores she’d ever seen, and that she was thinking of becoming a lesbian.

I totally know how she feels.  San Diego’s crack whores are THE BEST. 

Anyway, this is typical of the cherubic-faced Allen.  She’s gone off on Sir Bob Geldolf, Madonna, Pete Doherty, MTV and James Blunt to name a few. Not that I blame her, they are all a bunch of tossers.  But with that kind of “mouthy” track record she has no place to complain about people wanting to create a rivalry from fellow Brit singer and total drunk Amy Winehouse. 

In truth, I am totally psyched about this British Invasion; drunk chicks who sing, crackheads who date cokewhore models, metrosexual soccer players and their pimped out wives - and who knew Tony Blair was a total b*itch.  A total hot b*tch at that!

source

Jenna The Porn Star - Good        Jenna The MethHead - Bad

Since when did porn stars think sporting a “wasting disease” was a good look? That picture with her and boyfriend, Tito Ortiz, was taken in Vegas, and you know what they say: “What happens in Vegas, makes you look like hell.”

Also, if I see that Posh haircut on another person I will quit being a judge on American Idol.  Don’t push me, I’m on the edge. 

Now someone send Jenna a cheesecake and some ho-hos, ‘cuz I’m all out.

Are those crazy-ass Scientologists and their moneygrubbing Xenu  about to claim another celebrity victim? 

The PR spin-science behind Scientology is to gently pave the way for new members by downplaying the crazy and desperately trying to legitimize the cult as a religion.  Now they are using Jennifer Lopez to do their dirty work.  JLo announced this week that her father is a Scientologist and has been for 20 years in a radio interview while in Miami.

“My dad has been a Scientologist for 20 years. It’s weird people want to paint it in a negative way,” stated Lopez. “I, myself, am Catholic. But it’s just sad that people would look at it (Scientology) in that way.”

Lopez’s rep, and possibly the biggest liar in the PR business, Leslie Sloane, said, “Jennifer is not a Scientologist, nor is she becoming a Scientologist?

Whatever, we all know homegirl from the block is trying to convince hubby Marc Anthony to ante up some of his cash and go in on a Level 1 Thetan’s training manual.  I heard that crap costs like $100K.  No way Marc Anthony is going for that silliness.  I bet he’s telling Jenny that money doesn’t grow on trees and he has better things to spend his cash on, like beauty treatments for his undead ass.

No sane person who loves their money would want to be a Scientologist.  Period.  Unless it’s in exchange for protection from scandal and some sweet movie deals. 

Just ask Victoria “Posh” Beckham.  Despite being double-teamed by the Wonderbread twins Tom and Katie Cruise, inside sources state that Posh is WAY too cheap to become a Scientologist.  This from a women whose husband just inked a $250 million dollar soccer deal with the LA Galaxy.   According to sources close to the couple, Victoria just isn’t going for it, despite spending an inordinate amount of time with the unofficial spokesfamily for the ridiculous cult.

The source said, “Tom spoke to David for hours about Scientology. He feels it could help to lift him out of the blues over his football career. But Victoria is having none of it. She can’t see the point of joining something like that where you have to donate money.”

I just gained about two ounces of respect for Posh for being practical.  That brings the total amount of respect to -40.  Don’t give up yet Vic, you’re catching up.