Rosie O’Donnel recently chatted with shock jock Howard Stern on Sirius XM Radio.

She dished about her not so fabulous relationship with her wife lately, Oprah Winfrey and Oprah’s BFF Gail. And oh yeah… that she thought her and Angelina Jolie almost hooked up once.

Was this wishful thinking on Rosie’s part? Or wishful thinking on Jolie’s part? Or just creepy Howard Stern with his usual everyday thoughts? *snicker*

First, about Oprah….
Both Rosie and Howard say they think that Oprah and BFF Gail are closer than they are letting people know.

From EOnline:

As for her thoughts on Oprah’s relationship with her BFF, Rosie and Howard think there may be some sparks.

“I don’t know that she and Gayle are necessarily doing each other,” Rosie said, “but I think they are the emotional equivalent of…”

“A gay couple,” the radio man finished.

“When they did that road trip, that’s as gay as it gets, and I don’t mean it to be an insult either,” Rosie explained. “I’m just saying, listen, if you ask me, that’s the couple.”

Doesn’t Howard imagine ALL women that have a relationship with another women of any kind in bed together? I can’t stand the man and he skeeves me out to no end. I bet his palms are always sweaty. EWWWW!

As far as Rosie thinking that Oprah and Gail are a couple? 
I just think her bringing up Oprah and Gail was ridiculous and a real yawn fest.
Although Gail would have been a BIG improvement over Stedman! (I always considered him Mr Excitement)

Don’t get me wrong, I am not defending Oprah the Scientology cult sympathizer in any way. Even though everyone is eternally grateful to Oprah for having Cruise on her show, which led to the famous career end phrase “jumping the couch”.

Hey Tom! How’s That Scientology Going For You Lately?

So if you are keeping score, I find Howard Stern, Rosie AND Oprah all repulsive. Oh yeah Cruise too. All for different reasons. And none of those reasons have anything to do with sex.

So what about Oprah’s BFF Gail? I don’t think I have EVER thought of that women before in my life in any capacity what so ever. I find her as about exciting as a fence post. Although again, she still would have been a better pick than Stedman.
FYI…when Stedman and billionaire gal pal Oprah finally ended their 21 year old fling, he received $250 mil for his “years of ridicule and you better keep your mouth shut” severance package. Wonder what Oprah’s gal pal Gail will get? *snicker*

So where does Angelina Jolie come into this picture?

Well….
Rosie told Howard that she talked to Angelina on the phone a couple of times way back when.
Ohhhhhh! That’s where she got the idea that they were going to hook up. Who could blame her? WHAT?

Some more help from EOnline… Rosie said,

“She gave me her phone number,” Rosie said. “We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that. There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through.”

Fear got the best of Rosie and she wasn’t able to seal the deal.

“I was a little afraid of her,” she said. “She’s scary in a sexual kind of way. I have dreams about her a lot still.”

Dinner plans too? WOW! Now wonder Rosie thought that there may have been a little somethin’- somethin’ going on between them.
Are you freakin’ kidding me?

First off, I have to mention, that I find Angelina Jolie ALSO repulsive, and again, it has nothing to do with who she did, who she almost did, or who she is doing now. Which of course is Brad Pitt, who I can’t stand either since he hooked up with “Angelina -Jimmy- Deana”. My nickname for her because of her huge plumped up sausage-like lips. You know…. Jimmy Dean sausage?

And secondly…. who gives a rats ass?
Really. Sounds like Rosie is doing a little “shock jocking” herself to get some attention.
And does anyone really want to hear about Rosie’s….  ahem….”wet dreams?”

I think many people think that there is no way in hell that Rosie could have scored with Jolie and that Jolie is way out of Rosie’s league. You know because everyone thinks Jolie is Ms. Wonderful and her beauty is simply breath taking? *ROLLS EYES*

But remember when Jolie kissed her brother on the lips on camera way back when? That was WAY too long of a kiss for any one’s comfort. How about her fling with Billy Bob Thorton? (ick)
I really wouldn’t have been surprised one iota if she did actually hook up with Rosie back then. Nor would I have cared. Hell, I wouldn’t care now!

But of course times have really changed now for Jolie. She thinks that when she poops it should be bottled as perfume. And I would imagine that Jolie would think that Rosie is not worthy of having scary sex time with her now. Besides, Jolie is saving it all for BRADLEY. *puke*

I think it’s moronic that Rosie thought that a few phone calls and a dinner date than never happened was some sort of prelude to jumping in the sack with Jolie or anyone for that matter.

So a word of caution people……
If you are not into Rosie that way…. I wouldn’t talk to her on the phone. And whatever you do, don’t make any dinner plans with her. Because it will obviously be perceived as steamy foreplay and undoubtedly an invitation for sexy time.

Unless of course, you want to hit that…..

Where’s The Camel Toe Police When You Need Them?

I know, I know.  I’m just as stunned as you are.

The opinionated former co-host of The View admitted in her haikuesque blog that rumors of her hosting her own 9 PM talk show on MSNBC are now at an end, due to her big mouth:

In her blog’s trademark verse, she writes:

we were close to a deal
almost done
i let it slip in miami
causing panic on the studio end

well
what can u do

2day there is no deal
poof
my career as a pundit is over
b4 it began

It’s not as if she wasn’t warned.

In fact, O’Donnell made it quite clear during her Nov. 6 stand-up show that the network was getting nervous about their uncensored star. “We’re filming for an unidentified TV station, which I was told that I was not allowed to mention,” she said at the event in New York’s Lincoln Center. “They told me not to mention this possible show, and they are men in business suits. Nothing is scarier than men in business suits screaming at you over the phone.”

Still, O’Donnell insists she isn’t bitter, noting “everything happens for a reason.”

Yes, Rosie, it does.  And in this case, the reason is that you were told to shut up, and you didn’t.  Um…HELLO?

Okay, move along, nothing more to see here.

 

Wow, Rosie’s gone full tilt-o-whirl on this Hasselbeck/View fight nonsense.  Girlfriend needs to gain some perspective, step out of her insular box a bit.

Latest news in the Rosie/Elisabeth flare up is that Rosie’s writer for the show and long-time friend Janette Barber was escorted from the ABC studios for “defacing” property, and Rosie trashed her dressing room.  When we say defacing, what we mean is Barber drew mustaches on pictures of Elisabeth that are displayed at the View studio shortly after the on-air fight between Hasselbeck and O’Donnell occurred on Wednesday.

Let me take a moment to remind you that these are grown women.  Rosie is 45 years-old and Elisabeth is 30.  I love how during virtually every fight I have been forced to read about between these two, Rosie talks about how young Elisabeth is that’s why she doesn’t know any better.  Well Rosie, while I may think that Elisabeth has some truly warped ideas about things (like her belief in creationism, for example, is an enormous load of steaming horsecrap) I do think she has a point about our troops.

Allow me to go off on a brief tangent here: we should not be in Iraq, ok.  Most people agree with that.  But that doesn’t mean our troops, who elected to do a job that I couldn’t do, nor would want my children to do, but a job that needs to be done by someone, don’t deserve our respect or support.  It’s not their fault that our President is a total doofus, they are merely doing what has been asked of them.  It’s not their place to question their specific orders.  That doesn’t mean they like their job, or agree with it, but they understand the loyalty aspect of what they signed up for.  So really, implying that they (and ostensibly Americans in general) are terrorists is well, asking for trouble.  And that’s what you got Rosie, trouble.

So now that your weewiddle feelings are all hurt and you think you have been misunderstood and victimized, and rather than doing the mature thing and taking a deep breath, sucking it up and saying “Oops, I put my foot in my mouth, here’s what I meant to say,” like Elisabeth suggested you do, you are going on the offensive and acting like a big baby.  The only thing worse than making a mistake (and believe me, I know about making mistakes) is not taking responsibility for it.

And as for this little video wherein you are implying that somehow you were maligned by Barbara and Elisabeth, while you poor, old Rosie is being attack for standing up for her beliefs — all I can say is WOW.  Grow the f*ck up already, what are you, like 45 or something?  Cripes, get over yourself.

That said, Cyndi Lauper RULES!!!

Rosie got into a nasty fight with her co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck yesterday, in case you missed it. Rosie’s a liberal, Elisabeth is the resident conservative. There was some issue regarding Rosie’s “implication” that American troops are terrorists, and when Rosie was called out on it by media pundits she feels that Elisabeth didn’t appropriately defend her — much lamenting and gnashing of teeth ensued. Then that hippie-vegan Alicia Silverstone came on and dissed Elisabeth and Rosie wrote some haikus on her website. Rosie won’t be on today because her wife is celebrating her 40th birthday and they will be living it up like only (certain types of) lesbians know how: eating lots of cake.

Here’s all you need to see to get caught up.

The Fight:

The Diss:

My Response:

I don’t watch The View. A bunch of yentas yapping and squawking sounds about as appealing as have an icepick shoved in my frontal lobe. Shrill women arguing about politics based on news sound-bites is the equivalent of my kid coming home and attempting to explain the origins of man after hearing another kid say “dinosaurs used to eat man” on the playground. It’s uninformed and irritating. As is arguing with my child about why this information is inaccurate. Both groups are childish and have nary a clue, but at least my kid has the excuse of being a kid. Which if you think about it, is a pretty good excuse.

Oh, and Alicia Silverstone has no manners.

Anyway, Rosie’s a large and unappealing loud mouth who seems to fight with anyone whose opinion differs from her own. Elisabeth Hasselbeck is a pint-sized pipsqueak, who when confronted by someone as overwhelmingly oppressive as Rosie, gets completely flustered and loses her composure. Never fun to see. Now with that fight causing a rift between them, and based on Rosie’s haikus, there’s now speculation that Rosie will not finish out the remaining three weeks on her contract before she departs from the show.

I know gays love Rosie, and liberals and probably androgynous women, but whenever I see her she makes me want to run in the opposite director and shut down all of my sense receptors. She was much more palatable before she ate her way out of the closet. She is at best, anti-peristaltic.

So what is my point? I’m really not sure except less Rosie is probably a good thing. And it’s not ‘cuz she’s gay. Gay is fine, vomitus not so much.