I know, I know.  I’m just as stunned as you are.

The opinionated former co-host of The View admitted in her haikuesque blog that rumors of her hosting her own 9 PM talk show on MSNBC are now at an end, due to her big mouth:

In her blog’s trademark verse, she writes:

we were close to a deal
almost done
i let it slip in miami
causing panic on the studio end

well
what can u do

2day there is no deal
poof
my career as a pundit is over
b4 it began

It’s not as if she wasn’t warned.

In fact, O’Donnell made it quite clear during her Nov. 6 stand-up show that the network was getting nervous about their uncensored star. “We’re filming for an unidentified TV station, which I was told that I was not allowed to mention,” she said at the event in New York’s Lincoln Center. “They told me not to mention this possible show, and they are men in business suits. Nothing is scarier than men in business suits screaming at you over the phone.”

Still, O’Donnell insists she isn’t bitter, noting “everything happens for a reason.”

Yes, Rosie, it does.  And in this case, the reason is that you were told to shut up, and you didn’t.  Um…HELLO?

Okay, move along, nothing more to see here.

Wow, Rosie’s gone full tilt-o-whirl on this Hasselbeck/View fight nonsense.  Girlfriend needs to gain some perspective, step out of her insular box a bit.

Latest news in the Rosie/Elisabeth flare up is that Rosie’s writer for the show and long-time friend Janette Barber was escorted from the ABC studios for “defacing” property, and Rosie trashed her dressing room.  When we say defacing, what we mean is Barber drew mustaches on pictures of Elisabeth that are displayed at the View studio shortly after the on-air fight between Hasselbeck and O’Donnell occurred on Wednesday.

Let me take a moment to remind you that these are grown women.  Rosie is 45 years-old and Elisabeth is 30.  I love how during virtually every fight I have been forced to read about between these two, Rosie talks about how young Elisabeth is that’s why she doesn’t know any better.  Well Rosie, while I may think that Elisabeth has some truly warped ideas about things (like her belief in creationism, for example, is an enormous load of steaming horsecrap) I do think she has a point about our troops.

Allow me to go off on a brief tangent here: we should not be in Iraq, ok.  Most people agree with that.  But that doesn’t mean our troops, who elected to do a job that I couldn’t do, nor would want my children to do, but a job that needs to be done by someone, don’t deserve our respect or support.  It’s not their fault that our President is a total doofus, they are merely doing what has been asked of them.  It’s not their place to question their specific orders.  That doesn’t mean they like their job, or agree with it, but they understand the loyalty aspect of what they signed up for.  So really, implying that they (and ostensibly Americans in general) are terrorists is well, asking for trouble.  And that’s what you got Rosie, trouble.

So now that your weewiddle feelings are all hurt and you think you have been misunderstood and victimized, and rather than doing the mature thing and taking a deep breath, sucking it up and saying “Oops, I put my foot in my mouth, here’s what I meant to say,” like Elisabeth suggested you do, you are going on the offensive and acting like a big baby.  The only thing worse than making a mistake (and believe me, I know about making mistakes) is not taking responsibility for it.

And as for this little video wherein you are implying that somehow you were maligned by Barbara and Elisabeth, while you poor, old Rosie is being attack for standing up for her beliefs — all I can say is WOW.  Grow the f*ck up already, what are you, like 45 or something?  Cripes, get over yourself.

That said, Cyndi Lauper RULES!!!

Rosie got into a nasty fight with her co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck yesterday, in case you missed it. Rosie’s a liberal, Elisabeth is the resident conservative. There was some issue regarding Rosie’s “implication” that American troops are terrorists, and when Rosie was called out on it by media pundits she feels that Elisabeth didn’t appropriately defend her — much lamenting and gnashing of teeth ensued. Then that hippie-vegan Alicia Silverstone came on and dissed Elisabeth and Rosie wrote some haikus on her website. Rosie won’t be on today because her wife is celebrating her 40th birthday and they will be living it up like only (certain types of) lesbians know how: eating lots of cake.

Here’s all you need to see to get caught up.

The Fight:

The Diss:

My Response:

I don’t watch The View. A bunch of yentas yapping and squawking sounds about as appealing as have an icepick shoved in my frontal lobe. Shrill women arguing about politics based on news sound-bites is the equivalent of my kid coming home and attempting to explain the origins of man after hearing another kid say “dinosaurs used to eat man” on the playground. It’s uninformed and irritating. As is arguing with my child about why this information is inaccurate. Both groups are childish and have nary a clue, but at least my kid has the excuse of being a kid. Which if you think about it, is a pretty good excuse.

Oh, and Alicia Silverstone has no manners.

Anyway, Rosie’s a large and unappealing loud mouth who seems to fight with anyone whose opinion differs from her own. Elisabeth Hasselbeck is a pint-sized pipsqueak, who when confronted by someone as overwhelmingly oppressive as Rosie, gets completely flustered and loses her composure. Never fun to see. Now with that fight causing a rift between them, and based on Rosie’s haikus, there’s now speculation that Rosie will not finish out the remaining three weeks on her contract before she departs from the show.

I know gays love Rosie, and liberals and probably androgynous women, but whenever I see her she makes me want to run in the opposite director and shut down all of my sense receptors. She was much more palatable before she ate her way out of the closet. She is at best, anti-peristaltic.

So what is my point? I’m really not sure except less Rosie is probably a good thing. And it’s not ‘cuz she’s gay. Gay is fine, vomitus not so much.