I was ready to dismiss this, but it does seem like something Brit would do in her current mental state.  Of course, if you told me that she walked out of her house wearing only the whipped cream from her Frap, those ugly brown boots, and with her hair twisted into a swirl, I’d probably just say, “What, she forgot to get it affogato style?”

So welcome to the debut of a new category here at GlossLip, called, “You Can’t Fix Stupid”.  Rumors are circulating that on November 18, Brit dropped trou in the middle of a Hustler adult store because she wasn’t allowed to try on a pair of naughty knickers:

Spears loaded up on naughty skivvies and headed to the fitting rooms. But store employees “told her they don’t allow people to try on underwear,” a source at the scene says. “She was really upset.”

Adds the source: “She looked out of it. There was nothing going on behind her eyes.”

At that point, Spears threw a fit, and took off her own underwear before trying on a pair of boyshorts (with “Barely Legal’ stitched across the rear end) in the middle of the store while 15 other customers looked on.

An eyewitness tells Us, “The employees kept saying ‘Don’t change out here!’ She’s just like, ‘Well, I couldn’t take them in the fitting room!’ It was like dealing with a child.”

Oh my gosh.  It’s scary that I totally understand the reasoning behind her actions.  If you can’t take the panties into the dressing room, how else are you going to see if they fit, y’all?  Wedgies seriously hurt!

But that’s not all.  It would seem that she still has this thing for fake hair:

Spears’ tantrum only continued. “The staff told her she had to pay, and she rolled her eyes, but paid with a credit card,” the source tells Us. As payback, “on her way out, she went up to a mannequin, snatched the wig off the head, and stole it!”

Now that takes balls…to act like a thirteen-year-old at Hot Topic, when you’re almost twenty-six years old.  If this is true, my wig panties hat is off to her!

You know what else takes balls?  Buying panties that proclaim you’re “Barely Legal”.  Brit has been legal for more years than she’d like to admit.

In other Brit news, do you like the new hairstyle she’s rockin’?  She reminds me of a troll doll.  You know, those short little nakie dolls where you’re supposed to rub their tummy and they bring you luck?  Just like Brit…only with her, you rub her tummy and she belches up a Frap burp.  Those things can burn if you’ve got enough chocolate in them.

Okay, this has GOT to be Brit playing a joke on her best friends the paparazzi.  But apparently she told X17 that she IS pregnant…and the daddy is none other than Kevin Federline!

Britney wants to know who the hell started rumors about her being pregnant with music producer JR Rotem’s baby ’cause SHE’S telling X17 she’s pregnant with Kevin’s twins, y’all!!!

There was just too much pap chaos as Britney attempted to do some shopping last night at Target and at Barnes & Noble so she called in the cops! But Sam was by her side, holding her hand, always there for her, looking fondly at Brit (you see where I’m going with this, people? :).

But seriously, folks, Sam told me yesterday “It’s a lie,” when I asked about the JR report.

I really don’t see this as happening.  Well, I can see Brit totally going after Kevin, but I can’t see him returning the favor.

Or…could it be true?  What do you think?

It’s too horrible to contemplate.  I can’t type any more.  My fingers are threatening to jump off and throw themselves in traffic if I write anything else about it.

Oh, and here are your tax dollars at work, escorting Brit back to her car after she created a mob scene at the store.  Can’t she have someone do that for her?  Don’t they have things like catalogs and the Internet out there in LaLa Land?  Why does she have to go out on these silly little errands Every. Single. Day. when she knows it is just going to create mass hysteria?

I don’t watch Dancing With The Stars, even though I like to see ballroom dancing (Strictly Ballroom is one of my favorite movies), but I kind of kept up on this competition because of one man: Helio. That’s right, the two-time Indy 500 winner won the dancing competition, and all that was missing was a fence for him to climb.

So why isn’t the champ celebrating with his fiancee? Well, it could be because his fiancee is no longer his fiancee:

“I haven’t talked to him in two months,” [Aliette] Vazquez said. “I am devastated.”

While Vazquez, a Cuban fashion designer, did not give a reason for calling off the engagement, she hinted that the nuptials nixing was a long time coming.

“I came out for the first episode of Dancing and haven’t seen him since,” she said.

Castroneves himself confirmed the split.

“I can confirm that Aliette Vazquez and I have called off our engagement and are no longer together,” he said. “At this time, I would prefer to keep my private life private.”

The former couple had already pushed back their wedding to 2008, for which Heilo cited his busy schedule of auto racing and dancing, while apparently the kiss in the above photo is a ’stage kiss’ done as part of the dance routine.

But, there are rumors that there is more than just dancing between Helio and his dance partner, Julianne Hough:

Castroneves told entertainment news show “Extra” on Wednesday that he has split from his fiancée, Aliette Vazquez. There’s speculation that the breakup may have been caused by a budding romance between Castroneves and his “Dancing With the Stars” partner, Julianne Hough. The two shared a kiss on Tuesday night’s show.

“It was the beginning of something,” Castroneves told “Extra,” “[but] it [the relationship] was beyond that point. It was time to let go.”

He had just been on the television show The View talking about his win, and about dancing at his wedding. But after the show, he indicated that the interview was about the dancing, not his personal life, and he preferred not to talk about that with the chatty ladies on the show.

So hmm. It could very well be that they are just platonic friends, but maybe Julianne taught Helio more than just how to ball change.

 

Sylvester Stallone does Edgar Allen Poe?  Apparently, it’s going to happen.  After he is finished with Rambo MXVIII, Sly has plans to make a movie about Poe, and guess who he wants to play the lead?

Our source says, “Stallone has recently met with Viggo Mortensen and has offered him the role of Edgar Allan Poe in the film. Mortensen is consdiering the role although he wants some slight revisions in the script.” Yep, Viggo Mortensen could end up doing drugs and quothing the Raven for Sly. How cool is that notion? [...]

UPDATE! We’ve been able to get a little more information from our source this morning, and a lot of what he’s saying checks out. This is starting to look credible. Additionally, our source has also told us that if Viggo doesn’t take the part, Clifton Collins Jr. (recently cast in Star Trek) and John Hawkes are being considered as backup options for the role.

Well, now.  I’m incredibly picky about my movies, and even pickier about who I like.  But since Viggo comes highly recommended by none other than our illustrious D, and since Poe has long been a favorite of mine, and since I’d rather watch historical dramas than typical Hollywood twaddle, this could be something I’d actually go see.

When I heard “Stallone”, and “Poe” together, however, I had a sinking feeling that Sly hisownself was going to play the part of the tortured poet.  “Ay, yo, is ALL dat we see er seem, budda dreem widin a dreem?  ANNABELLE!!!”